Monday, December 3, 2012

The Gayest, Weirdest and Most Krampus-related Things You'll See This Week.

Five Dances (photo via)
I wanted to talk about several things today and couldn't decide which to focus on and decided to write about all of them. So here goes:

First up: This week's Gayest Thing is the new film from writer/director Alan Brown (Private Romeo, a flawed but admired Shakespearean adaptation set at a military school), a coming of age romance about a dancer (hottie Ryan Steele) finding and being himself in New York, Five Dances. I liked the idea behind his last film, but what little I saw didn't stick with me and I forgot all about until the trailer for Five Dances. Brown displayed some interesting ideas in the trailer for Private Romeo, if not all the skills to successfully bring them to fruition. But from the trailer below (via), it seems that Brown has learned a thing or two since then. Five Dances may turn out to the gay version of of every modern DanceMance* since 1982 or it could be the sappiest romantic drama since the insipid Love Story (a horribly manipulative movie!). Or it just might be a good movie. I'm hoping for the latter:

FIVE DANCES trailer from Alan Brown on Vimeo.

*I am hereby coining the term "DanceMance," used to refer to the sub-genre of romance films centered around dance. See: Footloose; Flash Dance; Step Up, etc., ad nauseum. Only you can spread it into the lexicon by using and sharing it.  Anyway, it looks pretty and there's plenty of eye candy for almost everyone's tastes.

"Your suffering will be legendary..."
Well... on to this week's Weirdest Thing, which is related to the above story by the most tenuous of links -- Dance. I would NOT call what I am about to share a DanceMance, by any stretch of the imagination. What it is, is a bizarre Horror movie mashup video known as "PINHEAD JASON Buffalo Bill DANCE?" The YouTube description says: "WARNING: Just another IDIOT ! doing a Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill DANCE ! because YouTube just doesn't have enough of those ? Song by Q LAZARUS" You don't need to watch very much to see everything he does over and over for the entire video, but the fact that someone thought to combine these three iconic Horror villains, is not just weird -- it is downright disturbing (may be NSFW, though no full nudity):

Dashing Through the Reich
Finally, I was going to review the mid-season finale of "The Walking Dead" tonight, but had too many distractions. But I also had a bit of holiday inspiration. I change my Facebook profile picture a lot. If you've seen Uncle P's profile pics here over the years, you know I like to keep them interesting and amusing. My previous profile picture was of Santa Cthulhu. Today I was reminded of Krampus (driving St. Nick's chopper there) and changed my pic to a rather festive rendering of the nasty, Germanic and Eastern European 'Anti-Clause,' who punishes bad children with beatings, dunkings and lumps of coal. Of course the message is "Don't be good to just get rewards, kids! Be good to avoid beatings from a demon!" Happy Holidays!!!! Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you aren't beaten and ass-raped by a Christmas monster from hell. Anyway... Good ole Krampus gave me an idea that has me a little psyched. No details yet, but I'll let you know what, when and if, anything comes of it.

More anon,

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