Why didn't you ask for help? Why didn't you seek out those who understand? Why were you afraid?
The answer is simple: Superstition.
My heart is broken, once again. I cannot understand a parent who does not truly unconditionally love their children (or those who do not truly grasp the definition of that word).
We've all experienced emotional pain in our lives. Uncle P has seen his own struggles with it and I can remember more than one time when I registered higher than a 7 on the Suicide Scale. But I recognized the need for help and sought it. Even now, I have to say that counseled therapy was the best thing I ever did for myself. Of course, I was well above the 'Age of Consent' when I did so. Still - there can be no justification for anyone taking their own lives because their religion or their families tell them that they are somehow defective, wrong and/or evil just because of who they are.
Leelah was just 17 when she took her life by stepping into traffic on an Ohio highway. last month. She was still considered a minor and by Ohio was bound to follow her religious parents rules and preconceptions. Her parents, while still claiming to have loved her 'unconditionally' have still refused to acknowledge Leelah's own gender identity.
Reach out. Offer an ear or a save haven. Make sure that those who need help, get it! STOP this horrific epidemic!
Share anti-suicide information. Support The Trevor Project; The Tyler Clementi Foundation and/or your local anti-suicide charity. Too many lives have been wasted, Too much potential has been lost.
I can't wait until I never have to make this rant again.
Dan Pearce writes several blogs. His most popular one is Single Dad Laughing, in which he discusses life with his son, Noah. Last year, Dan's blog exploded when he wrote a piece called "I'm Christian, unless you're gay." The responses to this insightful and well-written post were nothing less than astounding. Dan's post actually healed wounds and reconnected family members who thought they'd never see one another again. It was quite the phenomenon. Throughout it all, Dan maintained that he was straight. And I wanted to believe him. Afterall, I have many straight friends and acquaintances (both male and female) who not only love me for who I am, but fully support LGBT rights.
I, along with thousands of others, responded with a positive message. His post made me cry and the responses to it were nothing less than amazing. Dan continued to post about life with his son, his relationships with his ex-wives, dancing in a local 'Dancing with the Stars' competition and dating women. All well and good.
Today, though, Dan did something amazing. He came out, publicly. Finally. Irrevocably.
Bravo, Dan! I know from experience how difficult coming out to the world can be. It was only after a year of therapy that I came out to my immediate family in my mid-30's. While they were supportive and accepting, the dread of doing so was nearly as toxic as the years of lying to them. But the relief following it was simply amazing. I hope that Dan is experiencing that sense of relief, too. I'm out at work, out to all my friends and out to my contemporary cousins (though my very Catholic aunts and uncles are probably better off not knowing -- and I am probably better off without them knowing. They are in their late 70's and early 80's - why upset the cart?). And of course, my mother and sister both said "Yeah, and...?"
As a country, the U.S. continues to make strides in accepting LGBT people as equals. In the recent elections, four states approved same-sex marriage. It seems that more and more celebrities and politicians are coming out of their closets and the fear we once felt in declaring who we are is diminishing, daily. Make no mistake, we still have a long way to go. As I write this, there are still places in the world where being gay is punishable by death. Indeed, there are still states where it is legal to fire someone for being gay. Hopefully, I will see that change in my lifetime.
By adding his voice to the millions around the world only want to be able to love who and how we love; without fear of reprisal; without fear of discrimination and without fear of persecution, Dan has helped open hearts and minds to the cause of LGBT rights, which are really nothing more than Human Rights. Today, Dan Pearce was added to my list of Heroes. Congratulations, Dan. Welcome to the Light Side. It's so much better here.
If you are ready and are planning to come out yourself, here are a few tips on doing so:
Okay - that was a bit campy. Still, you should know that it really does get better:
If you have questions or fears; if you don't know how or if you should come out, please know that I (and many others) am here for you. Post a comment and I promise I will answer and reach out to help you. And you can always contact The Trevor Project. Come out, come out, whoever you are!
June is Gay Pride Month here in the U.S. (and many other places, as well) and if I wasn't busy trying to get a show up and running, I'd be attending every Pride event I could. Of course, the scheduling of the Annual JTMF Benefit show during Pride is no accident.
It's also no accident that Pride is celebrated in June. On June 28th, 1969, the Stonewall Riots took place in response to an unwarranted police raid on the Stonewall Inn in New York City's Greenwich Village. The Stonewall was a notorious Mafia-owned bar in the Village where gay men were actually allowed to dance, albeit in black-painted rooms with dim lighting. It s often mistakenly noted that many of those at the Stonewall that night were gathered to mourn the loss of Gay Icon Judy Garland, who passed away on June 22nd of that year.
Regardless of why they were there, it is commonly accepted that the Stonewall raid and subsequent riot were the start of the Gay Rights movement in the U.S. And while great strides in LGBTQ rights have been made over the past 41 years, we still have a long way to go.
Recently, several high-profile sports figures have come out publicly and just today, the San Francisco Giants baseball team released their own "It Gets Better" video. Things are finally really starting to progress for our community, even while hate groups like the FRC and NOM continue to spew their anti-gay rhetoric wherever and whenever they can get people to listen. Of course, the latest generation of young Americans are onto these creeps, and I am happy to predict that they and their ideals will be seen as sad, lonely dinosaurs within the decade.
You can see the Giants' video below (via), followed by the JTMF "It Gets Better" clip:
I wish all of my readers (gay; straight; bisexual; transgendered; inter-sexed or otherwise queer) a happy Pride Month and urge you to not only participate in your local Pride events, but to continue to write your legislators and demand that they address equality issues. Together, we can eradicate intolerance in our lifetime.
As many of you know, I am a founding member of the James Tolin Memorial Fund. We are a non-profit organization which produces theatrical events to raise funds for AIDS and Arts Education Charities. Our primary beneficiaries for the past 8 years have been The Open Arms Foundation of Hillsborough, NJ, which provides support and services to people and families afflicted by HIV; and the James Tolin Memorial Scholarship at Mercer County Community College in West Windsor, NJ, which provides tuition for deserving Performing Arts majors at the college where James studied the subject he so loved.
Last fall, after a rash of teen suicides which resulted from anti-gay bullying, we felt we needed to take a stand and added The Trevor Project to our list of beneficiaries.
But that wasn't quite enough for us. So we decided we had to produce our own "It Gets Better" video. The JTMF has become its own kind of family, with members, supporters and actors from both the LGBT and Straight communities - like-minded individuals who know when to say 'enough is enough' and who want to male a difference and promote equality and empathy for everyone.
To that end, a bunch of us got together this past February and created the video you are about to see. We urge you to donate to The Trevor Project and help us support the charities in which we so strongly believe. You can help us by purchasing tickets to our upcoming annual June fundraiser, featuring Charles Busch's hilarious comedic thriller Die Mommie Die! or by making secure donation via PayPal at our website, www.jtmf.org. You can also keep up on our projects and events by joining our group page on Facebook.
That's Second City's Kyle Fitzpatrick as the Sassy Gay Friend, whose smarmy advice has so far saved Ophelia, Juliet and Desdemona from their tragic Shakespearean fates with a hilarious combination of insults, insight and a fabulous peach scarf. Oh, he also showed up to save Eve from eating that apple...
Fitzpatrick is back and, having moved forward a few centuries, has some advice for Charles Dickens' Miss Haversham:
Kyle (AKA Bryan Galvin) also did an "It Gets Better" video:
"It Gets Better" and The Trevor Project have become two very important causes to Uncle P. In fact, the JTMF has just shot our own "It Gets Better" video which we'll be debuting soon. This past December, TJMF held our first Winter event, presenting It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play and we added The Trevor Project to our beneficiaries. Over 10% of the proceeds from that event were donated to The Trevor Project in what we hope will be the first of many donations to this very worthy cause.
Life is so worth living. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide because of anti-gay bullying, I urge you to call The Trevor Project at 1-866-4-U TREVOR (1-866-488-7386). The call is free, the advice is completely non-judgmental and the folks who man the phone lines really do care.
And even if you aren't a victim of anti-gay bullying, but care about saving young lives, please pass on this information. Everyone deserves to live to find his or her own potential. Take it from my own experience - it really does get better,
Okay - enough pontificating for this week. Back to the usual nonsense, soon.
That's actor George Takei ("Star Trek;" "Heroes") and his partner Brad Altman. George is one of those actors who doesn't take himself too seriously and is never afraid to make fun of himself. He's been on "The Simpson's" plenty of times and made some very amusing commercials.
Now, while Uncle P was busy being silly about Horror movie directors last month, a very ugly event took place in Arkansas. It seems that the Vice-President of a local school board posted some very inflammatory and patently homophobic remarks on his Facebook page. In light of the recent attention given to bullying and teen-suicides, the remarks didn't sit very well with a bunch of people, least of all CNN hottie Anderson Cooper, who took the man (one Clint McCance) to task for being a bully himself, made all the worse by his being the School Board VP. After Cooper's blistering report, McCance gave him an exclusive interview in which he "apologized." I put that word in quotation marks because McCance apologized only for upsetting the parents of those who had committed suicide and for his choice of words. Not once did the falsely contrite little prick apologize for the sentiment behind those words. McCance, who was forced to move his family out of state due to death threats, has resigned from the Board, but not recanted his views.
Which leads me to dear George Takei, who saw through McCance's carefully orchestrated false apology and responded by adding his voice to Dan Savage's It Gets Bettercampaign. Below is Mr. Takei's It Gets Better message, my favorite, so far:
I am in the process of trying to get the JTMF to add The Trevor Project to our beneficiaries, and hope to add our own video to the It Gets Better campaign. I'll let you know when and if we do. In the meantime, I'm so glad there are folks like Mr. Takei out there, unafraid to call a douchebag a douchebag.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide because of anti-gay bullying or because you fear your family members may reject you, PLEASE call the The Trevor Project 24/7 at 866-488-7986. Please know that you are loved and that your life is worth living. It really does get better.
Enough pontificating. I'll be back to my usual nonsense tomorrow with this November's first Turkey post.
