The Gayest and Scariest Things You'll See This Week.

Elizabeth Olsen in "Silent House"

So I'm sort of torn between two movies I very much want to see this weekend. First, I practically begged D to come see John Carter, which he less-than-enthusiastically agreed. Then I said "Unless you would rather see Silent House, then I'll see John Carter with K or Dale."

He replied "What's Silent House?"

Directed by Chris Kentiss and Laura Lau (Open Water), Silent House is a real-time, found-footage, single-take horror movie starring the very up and coming Elizabeth Olsen (Martha Marcy May Marlene) in the American version of the Uruguayan horror movie, La casa muda (The Silent House). If it was indeed filmed in one take, I imagine rehearsals would have been pretty intense. And how many versions did they shoot before they got perfect take? Personally, I know of plenty amazing single-shot sequences (The Bird Cage and Children of Men come immediately to mind) but I don't think I've ever seen an entire single-take film. Here's both trailers:

So what do you think? I haven't seen the original, but I am so very intrigued by the whole thing and I'm dying to see how they pull it off.

I know - I promised a Gayest Thing, too. Fear not. Perhaps this should really be called the 'Most Fabulous Thing,' because I promise you, it is Fab-U-Effing-Lous! I found the below clip earlier on Towleroad and since I'm rehearsing for Musical Theatre's second greatest drag role (Albin in La Cage is undefeated, though Victoria in Victor/Victoria is a close 3rd), I've been keeping my eye out for reference material and when I saw the clip I am about to share, it inspired me to give at least as joyous (though hardly as elaborate) a performance as the star of this piece. I wish I was sure enough of the clip's national origins to give proper credit, all around. My Spanish is practically non-existent. If you know, please let me know. 

Anyway - this is how you do drag, bitches!:

Talk about owning it! Am I allowed to say "You go, girl," as long I use it both sincerely and ironically,  like Chelsea Handler uses it?  I think (and hope) that person won that competition. And if (s)he* didn't win, who the hell topped that act?

*Don't judge; I have no idea how that person identifies (though if you do, please let me know).

And since we're already talking about performing in drag, I had my measurements taken while wearing the custom bra I'll be wearing in Hairspray. This Edna Turnblad is a 67 Triple F. Jealous, much?

Didn't think so.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Dirty Shame

That's Moisturizer, Right?

This post has nothing at all to do with the disappointing 2004 John Waters' film of the same name.

If you visit the same blogs as Uncle P does, then you've probably already seen the banned Hungarian version of the poster for Steve McQueen's Shame. And while I haven't actually seen the critically acclaimed film, I've heard and read enough about it. Hell, George Clooney made one of the Golden Globes' funniest jokes referring to Michael Fassbender's anatomy in the film. And Fassbender himself has joked that he is contractually obligated to appear naked in every movie he's in.

Many years and about 60 lbs ago, Uncle P briefly appeared naked on stage in the NJ premiere of Terrance McNally's Love! Valour! Compassion! It's not an easy thing to do, the first time. Of course, over the six-week run of the show, it just became part of the show; the next thing that happened in the scene. I was naked for all of ten minutes, I think. And most of that was spent lying on my stomach on a 'raft' in a 'lake.' I disrobed; went backstage and got wet in tub of tepid water (I was supposed to be swimming); came back onstage to lie on the 'raft' and then froze as the heat from the lights rapidly evaporated the water on my skin. It was far from sexy (nor was it meant to be). 

Being naked on stage or in film is rarely sexy (at least for the actor). There's lighting and camera angles, staying in character and having to know what to do and say next; all while a bunch of strangers (either audience or crew) sit or stand around, watching. I imagine it was just as unsexy for Fassbender; especially given the nature of the movie and his character, an unfulfilled sex-addict who derives less and less pleasure from sex, even though he is compelled to seek it out more and more. And while McQueen's film has been a critical darling since it premiered at Cannes last fall, it failed to garner a single Oscar nomination. And I suspect it's because it was released with an NC17 rating. But more on that in a moment.

Of course, if I had a body like Michael Fassbender's, I'd be naked as often as possible. But let's be honest, so few us have bodies like Fassbender's. Or Chris Evans', Ryan Reynolds', Ryan Gosling's or even George Clooney's. And I can certainly understand why that poster was banned in still socially conservative Hungary. Of course, most of the Hungarian Americans I know are as liberal as I am, which I guess says something about the difference between the formerly communist nation and the U.S. And I won't even go into the inordinate number of gay porn stars who claim to be Hungarian - that's a post for someone else's blog. 

Still, I don't understand Americans' squeamishness when it comes to sex. American audiences think nothing of violent murders and closeups of autopsies in films or on TV, but heaven forfend we should glimpse a nipple during the Superbowl half-time show or show a penis on a movie screen. 

Many, many years ago, Uncle P traveled to France with his high-school French club. While in Paris, our teachers thought it would be a good thing to take us to a real French movie. So our tour guide recommended the number one film at the time, L'amour viole (Violated Love). It told the story of a marriage that fell apart after the wife was raped. The rape in question was very graphically depicted and our teachers were visibly upset by the scene and asked the group of 16 and 17 year-olds (who were actually horrified by the scene) not to tell our parents they had taken us to see it. They didn't get that we were far more upset by the film's violence that the sex. 

And that's what I don't understand about American audiences today. Why is it okay to see someone's eye's gouged out or someone get beheaded, but not a woman's breast or a man's penis? Why is alright to watch an unnatural murder, but not a natural act of love? Have our psyches been so pervaded by our Puritan and Victorian ancestors that we can accept blood and death but not love and semen? Obviously, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. Yet most folks will admit to watching Conan the Barbarian before admitting to watching Debbie Does Dallas. There's a strange disconnect there, don't you think? 

Even worse, as provocative and graphic as Shame may be, director McQueen still shies his camera away during the film's one male same-sex encounter, which speaks volumes to how uncomfortable most people are when it comes to that subject. And while queer director Greg Araki proves the exception to that rule, his films have hardly the same high profile as McQueen's.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm one of those few people who actually find sex to be a beautiful, natural and magical thing. Oh, don't get me wrong - I like imaginary violence and murder just as much as the next Horror fan. I just know the difference between the two.



More, anon.
Prospero

Forgotten Gems: "The Monkey King"

Wow. It's been a very long time since I've done a 'Forgotten Gems' post. I think I need to do more. So here's one...

 Journey to the West is considered one of the 4 Great Novels of Chinese literature. Written by Wu Cheng'en in the 1590's, the 100-chapter story details a Buddhist monk's pilgrimage from China to India. The first 7 chapters tell the story of Sun Wu Kong, a monkey who comes to learn the way of Tao. Heady stuff for a children's movie. But in 1965, Shanghai Animation Film Studios simplified the story to its basest elements and produced Havoc in Heaven (aka The Monkey King). 

I first remember seeing this film sometime around 1968 or so (remember kids, Uncle P is old) in the 'cafetorium' at Clara Barton Elementary School. I immediately fell in love with it. And while I know I saw it several times during my childhood, it's probably been 35 years or more since I saw it last. A precursor to Japanese Anime, The Monkey King's Taoist message was well beyond my K through 5 ken, but its basic tale of bravery and friendship struck a chord in my developing sensibilities and I count it as one of the major influences of my youth. 

The animation may be crude by today's standards, but that's not the point. Its one of the movies (among many) that made me love movies and memories of it evoke both nostalgia for a simpler time and a curiosity about the filmmaking process that never went away. Havoc in Heaven is available in a subtitled version (though I know the version I saw as a child was dubbed) on YouTube in 14 parts. As far as I know, there is no DVD or even VHS version available. Here is a Part One of the subtitled version:

I know I'll be spending at least some of my upcoming weekend watching the other 13 parts on YouTube. There have been several adaptations of this story, on film and in print, but this is the one that left an impression on my impressionable youth...

What forgotten gems do you love?

More, anon.
Prospero

Filipino Superheroes and Other Sublime Nonsense

This image is for my dear Stephen R. in Chicago, in thanks for the last video embedded in this post.

Now, no one has ever denied that Batman and Robin have always seemed a bit... well... (looking around to see if anyone is watching me type)... gay.

I think I must have stumbled across the first video below via the Sci-Fi nerds over at i09. They posted a scene which is featured in the trailer I am posting. Now I know I've blogged about Turkish rip-offs of Hollywood movies before, but Alyas Batman en Robin is just the tip of the iceberg when in comes to Filipino superhero movies.

First off, like most Bollywood films, it is a musical. Second, it is in a strange mixture of Tagalog and English. It's like watching European porn with only the important words dubbed in English. Third, it is obviously modeled on the campy 60's TV series starring Adam West and Burt Ward (yikes), even down to the ridiculous onomatopoetic SFX title cards (Biff! Pow! Sock!). Still, I can't see Batman taking a reporter inside the (Batgarage?) while offering her 'Batmilk.' Eeewwww! And check out that bat-shiat crazy tranny Joker! Meanwhile, Penguin's just some fat, almost white guy with a tiny Pride umbrella.

So, while getting that embed code from YouTube, I stumbled across these next two trailers for two even more outrageous Filipino superhero movies.

This first one is just indescribably bizarre. ZsaZsa Zaturnnah concerns a hairdresser who attains superpowers after she eats a meteorite! In fact, she swallows the whole thing in two or three gulps, like a snake swallowing a guinea pig. I mean, honestly. Isn't that exactly what you would do if a fluorescent pink meteorite crashed into your beauty parlor? I prefer to remember the lesson imparted by Stephen King in Creepshow when it comes to handling meteorites.

And almost finally, the silliest trailer from our friends in the East yet: Super Noypi, a film I can only hope is the best X-Men ripoff ever made.

My favorite part of that clip has to be the actress named "Aubrey Miles." Seriously? Aubrey? Aubry Miles? You do know that you're Filipi... Well, of course I realize that... but... no, seriously? Aubrey Miles? Okay. Whatever you say... snicker, snicker, snicker...

As you can tell, nonsense has worked its magic on Uncle Prospero once again. And all thanks to this gem posted by the above-mentioned Stephen R on his hilarious blog Are You There Blog? It's Me, Stephen. I give you the modern Ernie Kovaks: Craig Fergusen and Company - "White Lines."

To quote a semi-insane candy-maker, "A little nonsense now and then/Is cherised by the wisest men."

More, anon, bitches.

Prospero