15 Years On...

Tomorrow marks the 15th anniversary of the attack on Mathew Shepard in Laramie, Wyoming. My reaction is a confusion of "It's only been 15 years?" and "15 years, already?" Funny how witnessing history settles in your memory in so many odd ways. I remember crying when Matt died. Most of the world; the compassionate, empathetic and good people; the Humanists and the religious, alike - we all cried when Matt died.

On October 6th, 1998, Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lured Matthew from the Fireside Lounge bar, pretending to be gay, supposedly with the intent of robbing him. They drove him to a remote area, tied him to a buck fence and beat him mercilessly with their fists, feet and the butt of Henderson's gun. Matthew was found 18 hours later by a fellow UW student who'd gone off trail while biking. Six days later, Matt died from his injuries and the world cried.

Matthew Shepard was a young, idealistic and full of hope for his future as a social activist. He was attending the University of Wyoming and had joined the LGBT support group. Unfortunately, Matt was literally bullied to death. Along with Anthony Milano; Seth Walsh; Pheobe Prince; Kameron Jacobsen; Bailey O'Neill; Tyler Clementi and so many others. 

Matthew's story inspired Moises Kaufman and the Tectonic Theatre Project to create The Laramie Project, a pastiche of interviews, memories and recreations of the events leading up the attack and its subsequent effects on the sleepy western town and her people, right through to the trials themselves.

Productions of The Laramie Project have often been (and I hate say, will probably continue to be) the source of conjecture, especially in educational situations. Most recently, a production at the University of Mississippi ("Ole Miss") was heckled by at least "20 members of the football team" and others. They supposedly taunted female cast members about their bodies; yelled "f*g" and "d*yke" and were generally disruptive. UM issued a lame apology, though Gay/Straight Alliance groups and allies like Brendan Ayanbadejo are pushing for more.

As part of our on-going campaign to prevent bullying and the unnecessary and premature deaths of so many young people, The James Tolin Memorial Fund presents a one-night only special event, a staged reading of The Laramie Project, followed immediately by a talk-back with cast, director and special guest, LGBT activist and member of the Tectonic Theatre Project, Cathy Renna. The reading will be held at the Kelsey Theatre on the Campus of Mercer County Community College in West Windsor, NJ. Curtain is at 7 PM.

As of this writing, tickets are still available online at Kelsey@mccc.org;  at the box office one hour before curtain or by calling 609-570-3333. All proceeds from this special event benefit The Tyler Clementi Foundation. 

Let's put an end to this epidemic. Educate to Stop the Hate. 

Don't let those whose lives have been taken by hate, be taken in vain. Share their stories. Share your stories. Reach out, but listen too. If you see an act of hatred, say something; call the police; do something. 

I can't help but wonder what Matthew and my friend Tony would think about the massive strides since they've been gone. And how maybe some of those strides might have come sooner, if they were still here. Matt had dreams of being an activist and Tony was a very talented artist with a decidedly twisted sense of humor. What might they have accomplished in these many years? Sadly, thanks to hate, we'll never know.

If you can't make the show, you can always visit our website and make a safe, secure donation via PayPal. Or, watch the excellent HBO movie version and make a donation to your local anti-hate charity. 

So... how do we Stop the Hate? How do we assuage the fears of those who don't understand? With works like this. With art that makes people think differently. With the truth, I would hope. Sadly, everyone's truth is different, to one degree or another. I don't care what you think your version of 'God" says about Queer people (yes, even the Native Americans who venerated us as 'magical' beings - thanks, but as much as gay folk might think we're magical, we really aren't). Different from most people? Certainly? Wrong or evil because of it? Hardly. And of course, I know I'm singing to the choir here, as it were. But it's more and more likely that most straight people know at least 1 queer person, whether they're aware of that person's sexuality or not. 

Progress is being made an astonishing rate and things I never thought I'd live to see are happening all over the country. And while so many places in the world have yet to evolve, I can't tell you how happy I am to see the tide turning, at long last.

More, anon.
Prospero

Some Shameless Self-Promotion

JTMF is proud to present a One Night Only staged reading of The Laramie Project; Sunday, October 6th, 2013. The reading will take place at the Kelsey Theatre on the campus of Mercer County Community College in West Windsor, NJ.

Proceeds will benefit The Tyler Clementi Foundation.

Presented to commemorate the 15th Anniversary of the attack on Matthew Shepherd, the reading will be followed by a special talk-back with the cast and representatives of The Tyler Clementi Foundation.

Directed by Judi Parrish, the cast includes Melissa Abrahams of Chesterfield, NJ; Brian Bara of Levittown, PA; Christian DiTullio of Lawrenceville, NJ; Damian Gaeta of Hamilton, NJ; Kathy Garofano of Morrisville, PA; Laurie Hardy of Hamilton, NJ; Jennifer Nasta Zefutie of Cranbury, NJ and Jeremy Robinson of Chesterfield, NJ.

We hope you can join us for this very special event (the only JTMF event this year). Tickets are $10 to $15 and are available by calling the Kelsey Box Office at 609-570-3333; online at www.kelseyatmercer.org or at the Box Office one hour before curtain.

Bullying and suicide among teens and preteens remain at all-time high. You can be part of the solution by attending this important event.

The Newest Gayest Music Videos You'll See This Week

Eli Lieb

There seems to have been an absolute explosion of gay recording artists releasing new songs and videos this month. 

On the heels of Steve Grand's viral hit "All-American Boy" (already touted earlier this month) comes Tom Goss' "Bears" and now (via) comes the adorable Eli Lieb with "Young Love." 

At Uncle P's age, it amazes me that so many young artists are producing fearless and truthful works about who they are. While these days I'm out to just about everybody (with the exception of a few very elderly and very Catholic aunts and uncles who just don't need to know, though I'm sure they must suspect by now), when I was Grand, Goss and Lieb's age, I was still very much closeted to all but my closest friends.

Openly gay artists like the three gentlemen cited above (along with folks like Chely Wright; Adam Lambert and Drake Jensen) give me hope that future generations of LGBT people will eventually be fully recognized as equals and celebrated for their talents and not just their sexuality. 

"If music be the food of love, play on." 

More, anon.
Prospero

Bullies, Haters and Fearmongers

So, 11 years after religious fanatics* decided to use commercial airliners to murder over 3,000 innocent people, have things really changed? Flying presents more of a hassle than it did before 9/11... But real change? 

Our troops are still being killed in Afghanistan in what has become the longest war in our nation's history. Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are both dead, though Bashar al-Assad continues the wanton slaughter of his own people.  The so-called "Arab Spring" may have ousted a dictator in Egypt, only to have him replaced with a militaristic regime that is proving to be just as bad. The Taliban and al Qaeda continue to use religious fanaticism to indoctrinate their followers and incite them to violence.

And it's not just in the Middle East. Right here in the U.S., religious fanatics and extremists are using and abusing the Bible in their own bigoted campaign against the LGBT community. Today (via), I came across one of the most vile pieces of homophobic propaganda I have ever seen. Published by 'Mission America,' "What's all this fuss about something called 'gay?'" is one of the most bigoted and misleading documents I have ever seen. I won't quote from from it, because it literally makes me sick to my stomach, but you can read it here (don't say you weren't warned). 

Bullies and monsters aren't always dictators and oligarchs. They are quite often the folks people in need turn to for solace and advice. But when the advice turns out to be hateful bile and outright lies, is it any wonder people are confused? And how horrible must it be for a young gay person of faith to read this kind of crap? This kind of garbage is exactly why the suicide rate among young LGBTQ people is so high. 

One of my early boyfriends was an adorable Texan from a strict Baptist family. In fact, his brother was a preacher. After several months together, he suddenly grew fearful and broke up with me, citing his religious convictions. I later learned that he had hanged himself just two months later. I was not only angry, but profoundly sad that "God" had driven a bright, funny and endearing person to such depths of despair. It was also my first step toward Secular Humanism, though it would be a long time before I realized it.

I've said it before and I'll say again: Religion has been the cause of more war, pain, suffering and death than anything else in the history of mankind. "Believe what we tell you to, or suffer the consequences." 

Every child is born an atheist. That is until they are poisoned by the beliefs imposed upon them by their family. I'll leave it to a much better spoken person than I to explain what I mean. Here's Richard Dawkins' response to the question "What if you're wrong?":

I don't want to demean anyone for believing whatever it is they believe. I do want people to think about why they believe it and how they came to believe it and whether or not what they believe is morally correct (and yes, there is a HUGE difference between morality and religion). 

Bullies, haters and fearmongers will always want to rule over the ignorant and the superstitious. I hope that one day, none of those people will exist. Sadly, I fear that day is still a very long way away.

*You can use the word "terrorists" all you want, but their terrorism was the result of the exploitation of their religious fanaticism, pure and simple.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

That's Second City's Kyle Fitzpatrick as the Sassy Gay Friend, whose smarmy advice has so far saved Ophelia, Juliet and Desdemona from their tragic Shakespearean fates with a hilarious combination of insults, insight and a fabulous peach scarf. Oh, he also showed up to save Eve from eating that apple...

Fitzpatrick is back and, having moved forward a few centuries, has some advice for Charles Dickens' Miss Haversham:

Kyle (AKA Bryan Galvin) also did an "It Gets Better" video:

"It Gets Better" and The Trevor Project have become two very important causes to Uncle P. In fact, the JTMF has just shot our own "It Gets Better" video which we'll be debuting soon. This past December, TJMF held our first Winter event, presenting It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play and we added The Trevor Project to our beneficiaries. Over 10% of the proceeds from that event were donated to The Trevor Project in what we hope will be the first of many donations to this very worthy cause.

Life is so worth living. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide because of anti-gay bullying, I urge you to call The Trevor Project at 1-866-4-U TREVOR (1-866-488-7386). The call is free, the advice is completely non-judgmental and the folks who man the phone lines really do care.

And even if you aren't a victim of anti-gay bullying, but care about saving young lives, please pass on this information. Everyone deserves to live to find his or her own potential. Take it from my own experience - it really does get better,

Okay - enough pontificating for this week. Back to the usual nonsense, soon.

More, anon.

Prospero

Enough Is Enough

This is a picture of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide after his roommate and a friend web-casted Tyler and another man in an intimate moment. The 18 year-old jumped to his death from the George Washington bridge after he found out about the betrayal.

Clementi is the latest in a string of recent suicides among gay teens who have been mercilessly bullied into taking their own lives.

CNN posted the story below today, noting that those involved have been charged with "Invasion of Privacy." Personally, I think they should be charged with Hate Crimes and Involuntary Manslaughter, at the least:

13 year-old Seth Walsh of California; 15 year-old Billy Lucas of Indiana and 13 year-old Asher Brown of Texas have all recently committed suicide because of homophobic bullying by their classmates. These are children whose lives should have just been beginning, not ending. In Ohio, 11 year-old Tyler Wilson had his arm broken by bullies because he was a cheerleader. What the hell? Are Americans raising an army of homophobic monsters? Why? 

I really don't understand, because the young straight people I know are all perfectly sane, rational folks who agree that this is an epidemic that is quickly getting out of control. And it's certainly not something we can just chalk up to "Kids will be kids." Because the truth is, kids will be what their parents teach them to be. Nearly 70 years ago, Rogers and Hammerstein wrote a song for the musical South Pacific called "Carefully Taught," in which they very clearly say that hatred and bigotry are instilled, not innate. And while at the time they were specifically talking about racism, the message rings true for any minority:

And at the usually hilarious Kindertrauma, blogger Unkle Lancifer posted this diatribe about bullying and the 1977 Brian DePalma classic, Carrie. Not nearly as silly (and far angrier) than one might expect. And the undisputed Queen of the Gays, Ellen Degeneres, addressed the issue on her daily talk show today. I dare you to watch without getting as choked up as she does:

My question is, where are the teachers and administrators in all of this? The parents of all three younger boys say they repeatedly called their children's schools to complain, only to be met with empty platitudes. Are teachers so scared of these bullies themselves? Or are they just as hatefully homophobic? We can blame the Fred Phelpses and Maggie Gallaghers of the world all we want, but the ultimate responsibility for these reprehensible behaviors lies solely with the parents of the children committing them. sadly, the messages sent by groups like NOM and the Westboro Baptist Church seem to be taking hold, and that's something we must stop now, before it's too late.

Gay kids are 4 times more likely to commit suicide than straight kids, and far less likely to seek help when feeling suicidal. If you, or someone you know is considering suicide because of anti-gay bullying, I urge you call the Trevor Project, 24/7, at 866-488-7386. You are not alone. You are loved and you are worth keeping around. It gets better. I promise.

My heart goes out to all the families of these (and all) young folks who have suffered because of their sexuality, whether real or perceived. 

More, anon.

A very saddened Prospero