The Most Positive Gay Things You'll See This Week

Pope Francis I

I'm torn. Do I write about the story that impacts LGBTQ people here in the U.S. or the the story that impacts LGBTQ people all over the world? I guess I have to talk about both, if I'm going to write about either. Let's start with the whole world, shall we? (Hey - go big or go home, right?)

On his flight back to Rome from Brazil, Pope Francis I gave an impromptu, jovial, no-holds-barred press conference for the reporters on board. And in answering one question, he moved the HRC (no, not the HRC) into the 21st Century. When a reporter asked what he would do if he found out a priest was gay, he responded "Who am I to judge a gay person of goodwill who seeks the Lord? You can't marginalize these people." Of course, this is no way means that Francis thinks gay sex (the biggest hang-up most religious folks seem to have about gay people) is okay, but his answer to that question is probably the most progressive statement ever made by any Pope, ever. Historically, there have been married Popes; adulterous Popes; sadistic Popes and (in 2000-odd years), undoubtedly at least one gay Pope. I mean, come on. 265 men (and possibly 1 woman) have held the title. Statistically, at least one or more of them had to be gay.

Francis is proving himself to be even more "The People's Pope" than the much-beloved (and on the track to Sainthood) John Paul II. Smart, modern and accessible, Francis knows the Church is hurting. In South America, Catholics have been leaving the Church for evangelical congregations, while in the U.S. and Europe, they have been leaving because the Church has refused to evolve on issues like homosexuality, women's rights and birth control. Of course, Uncle P still views all religion as detrimental to progress and an affront to science, but that doesn't mean I hate religious people. I just wish they would wake up and smell reality. Francis seems to at least caught a whiff and that's terrific.

Tim Hardaway

And the other big LGBTQ news comes from retired NBA star Tim Hardaway, who in a 2007 interview said "I hate gay people... I'm homophobic." After spending time at Miami's YES Institute and seeing the way LGBTQ people have been abused, bullied and vilified, Hardaway had an epiphany of sorts. Earlier this month, he was the first person to sign a petition challenging Florida's marriage laws. 

"With what I said, people could think it's OK to throw rocks at them or bully them... I just wanted to make people understand that what I said wasn't cool. I wanted to make amends for it.'' Hardaway says he hasn't become a voice for Equality because he wants publicity (he rarely gives interviews). As a young man growing up in Chicago, he had a gay relative to whom he was apparently close. He says now that his comments were 'thoughtless.'

Wow! A little education goes a long way. And while my faith in Humanity hasn't been fully restored (at least while Vladimir Putin and Robert Mugabe are still spewing ignorance and hate), it has been elevated by the words and actions of two very influential people who have had a change of heart and mind. I still have issues with Pat Robertson, who yesterday said that Trans people aren't sinners, but gay people are (don't get me started about that old fossil), but it is amazing to see the tide turning so quickly and so dramatically. 

We still have a long way to go. Next month, 13 U.S. States will officially recognize same-sex marriage (Yay, Minnesota!). I suspect that Illinois; Pennsylvania; New Jersey; Hawaii and Virginia will be next with Colorado; New Mexico; Nevada and Ohio to follow.From there, it's just a matter of time before America finally embraces everything for which our Constitution stands.

Last week, Queen Elizabeth II signed her approval of Marriage Equality in the UK. New Zealand is likely to be the next country which fully embraces Equality, with Australia probably soon to follow. I now have real hope that before I leave this world, it will be changed for the better in so many ways.

The Roger Waters' song embedded below may be about the end of the Cold War, but I can't help but think it applies here (and the animation by my favorite artist certainly doesn't hurt):

More, anon.

Prospero

Don't Cry For Him

Pope Depravatio XXV

Today, a bunch of old guys obsessed with sex (because it's forbidden to them) voted for the new leader of their "No Gurlz Alloud" club. The RCC has certainly had a rollercoaster ride in the past few years, hasn't it? Sex scandals are just the tip of the iceberg, kids. And I know that folks are sort of excited that Francis I is the first Pope from South America, but I have have to wonder how the conclave missed the potential for Evita jokes. Seriously - that many Cardinals in the same room all missed the musical theatre reference? I hardly think so.

Jorge Bergoglio isn't exactly a charismatic man, despite his resemblance to "Arrested Development" star Jeffrey Tambor. And yes, he's the first South American Pontiff. At least he doesn't look like Evil Incarnate. Still... 

I just want to play 'Devil's Advocate' (you should excuse the expression - or not - don't care)  here... We know that Ratzeneater was in the Hitler Youth Corps and (allegedly) helped hide pedophile priests from prosecution as a Cardinal. We know that plenty of Nazis fled to South America after WWII; the majority of them taken in by Brazil and Argentina. I'll let the tinfoil hat/truther/ex-gay/abductees among you to draw your own conclusions to that particular setup.

Here's the thing: Nothing is really going to change for the Church (or its progressive members), other than a new PR campaign. Personally, I think it's too little, too late. Americans are abandoning the RCC in record numbers; both disgusted by the sex scandals and disappointed in the Church's refusal to recognize homosexuality as innate. Francis has previously expressed his opinion on gay adoption and marriage, despite the Argentine government's ruling which legalized same sex marriage. They've already begun the spin about Bergoglio's humble roots and his connection to and support of the poor and downtrodden. 

Unless the poor and downtrodden are gay, of course. Oops! How on earth did that slip out?

There are very, very few instances in which Rowan Atkinson (pictured above) has been able to make me laugh. I have honestly just never found him funny in more than one or two instances. That having been said, I can't imagine being sent into fits of hysteria more than by the thought of Atkinson as Pope. Yes, even more than the thought of a falling mascot.

Hocus-Pocus; Alakazaam! If Jorge can't do it; no one can!

Of course, this is the outcome Uncle P was really hoping for:

More, anon.
Prospero

Where's Chris Hansen When We Need Him?

To Catch a Predator?

I don't mean to make light of pedophilia and illegal sexual activity with that picture on your left, but since 'Herbert the Pervert' never really seems to get what he wants on "Family Guy," I suppose his non-stop ogling of youngsters can be seen as comedic. Tasteless? Politically incorrect? Offensive? Of course it is. But then no one is watching "Family Guy" for its 'Family values.' And honestly, if you can't find the humor in Seth McFarlane's outrageously offensive show, then go watch "America's Funniest Videos" and shut up.

Of course, the same can't be said for the hundreds of Catholic priests who actually acted upon their urges and assaulted who knows how many young boys and girls under the guise of being someone they were supposed to trust. So it comes as no surprise that following the announcement of his abdication, Pope Benedict will be afforded immunity from prosecution in his involvement in covering up the many sex crimes committed by priests under his watch as both a Cardinal and Pope, by being granted permanent residency in the sovereign state of The Vatican.

On the heels of this latest announcement, comes word that a convicted sex-offender has just been appointed to a prominent position in the Newark, NJ archdiocese. Rev. Michael Fugee has been appointed co-director of Continuing Education and Ongoing Formation of Priests for the diocese. Every resident of New Jersey should be pounding on the diocese' door, demanding this creeps head on a pike (or at least his genitals on barbecue skewer). This is the kind of man who scares normally rational people into thinking that all LGBT people are evil.

For centuries, the Catholic Church has wielded far too much power over its adherents, resulting in more torture, murder and war than any other entity in history. Starting in 1095, the Church waged a "Crusade" against Muslims and Jews which went on for 200 years. Richard the Lionheart is still revered as an English King who led his troops into battle against the 'Infidels' (and served as part of the inspiration for the Robin Hood mythos). In reality, The Crusades were violently brutal, resulting in the deaths of millions. 200 or so years later saw the Spanish Inquisition, during which (under the rule of Grand Inquisitor Tomas de Torquemada, confessor to Queen Isabella), thousands of Jews and Muslims were tortured and murdered. And let's not forget the silent assent from Pope Pius XII, who never uttered a word about Hitler's 'Final Solution.'

And now sexual abuse among Catholic priests appears to have been rampant for the past 40, 50 or even 60 years (and probably much, much more). So what does the church do? Nothing. They promote pedophiles and hide and protect those who were complicit in hiding and promoting pedophiles. As a Cardinal, Joseph Ratzinberger helped hide these men and now that he is resigning as Pope, he will be protected from prosecution under Vatican law. "Disgusting" doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this injustice.

And as much as I would like to see the HRC (NOT the Human Rights Campaign) go down in flames (indeed - as much as I'd like to see ALL superstition take the same track), there are billions of frightened, unenlightened and superstitious folks who still cling to unscientific ideals in the hope they will 'live' forever. The same principles can be applied to radical, religious fanaticists of any faith. "Rationalism" and "Science" seem to be words missing from from all of their vocabularies.

Of course, if the HRC has to have a Pope, I'd vote for Pope Betty:

She may not be perfect, but at least she's honest!

More, anon.
Prospero

Nope! He's a-No Longer de Pope!**

Insert The Omen Theme Here

My Day Job Co-Worker: "The Pope's stepping down!"

Uncle P: "He never should have stepped up."

Other Co-Worker: "You got that right! He should never have been Pope in the first place." 

The single most unpopular Pope in modern history*, Pope Benedict today announced that he is resigning due to his age and health. He is the first Pope to resign in over 400 years. Of course, Benedict had a hard act to follow. John Paul II was the most beloved Pope in modern history; a charismatic man who survived an assassination attempt and exuded kindness. Benedict, an honestly creepy old man with Draconian values turned out to be not only horrendously homophobic but complicit in covering up sexual abuse while a bishop in Germany. Corruption, depravity and hypocrisy are nothing new in the Catholic Church. Perverts, pederasts and murderers have all been Pope, many times over. Of course today, shaman and fakirs hold much less power over rationalism and people aren't afraid to tell the truth, especially when those they were supposed to be able to trust, violated them so personally and so horribly.

Such an historic announcement certainly seems to me to have deeper and exceptional significance in the secret annals of the Vatican vaults. I truly believe that there is a secret being buried that is so explosive, the Church would never recover should it get out. 

Now you know me. I'm hardly a conspiracy nut. But if any organization has reason to conspire a cover-up. it's the Holy Roman Catholic Church. No, I'm not suggesting that that ridiculous DaVinci novel is true. Or that Beyonce's flashing of an Illuminati sign at the Superbowl was the signal to take German Joe down. Of course, Pat Robertson would have you believe 'Nemo' (I still think that's a stupid name for a storm, Jules Verne be damned) is punishment for the states which approved Marriage Equality in November. Hey, Pat. 'Nemo' is nature's punishment for us abusing the environment, ya douche.

Many LGBT groups are happy to see Benedict go. 'Other Co-Worker' predicted we will see a Pope of color next, citing several Brazilian Cardinals on the "short list." Okay. Still, no one should get too excited about real progress in the Church any time soon. The Cardinals are still all a bunch of old men, obsessed with sex because they aren't supposed to have it. What's that saying about the deliciousness of forbidden fruit? Absurd doesn't even begin to cover it.

Secular society will move forward first, and the Church will eventually follow in another generation or two (they'll have to, if they want to remain relevant to the few remaining followers they'll have by then). People are still afraid to let go of superstition, though the tide is turning toward rationalism and reason. It amazed me to see how freeing it was to do so. Life is too short and too precious to worry about what happens later. What matters is now. 

I can't stress this enough: If you are living a lie because some religious leader told you that you were evil; if you are afraid of what people will think of you; if you think your family will abandon you... the worst thing that's going to happen to you is going to happen to every single one of us, no matter what we do. Why not enjoy the very brief gift we've been given to its fullest? Don't hide your light under a bushel (you should pardon the reference, no matter how relevant). Come out and love the life you deserve with someone who deserves your love.

And the next time you complain when you can't get cell-phone reception, think about the kid in some refugee camp who can't get enough food to keep the cramps away. 

Don't live your life the way someone else tells you should. Live it in the way you know you should. Live the way that brings joy to you, those that you love and those who love you back. They are the only ones who matter. Trust me.

So, maybe this video is the big secret. Or the one below:

Oh, how love crazy people. I have no doubt the Pope is evil. Just not in the way these nutjobs have concluded. Benedict is evil in the way that all people who perpetrate mythology as truth; homophobia as righteous and hate as love, are evil.

You have no power here. Begone, before someone drops a house on you!

More, anon.
Prospero

*You gotta be pretty bad to be less popular than a Nazi sympathizer.

**Once a Musical Theatre Geek, always a Musical Theatre Geek

The Gayest Site You'll See This Week.

I got home rather late this evening and when I finally got around to checking my email, a very curious thing awaited me - a link to HomoShame, a sort of gay version of PeopleOfWalmart.

HomoShame is all about all the reasons straight people are afraid of us. And also why some of us hate each other.

As far as I am concerned, you can
let your freak flag fly, as long as you are not impinging on anyone else's right to fly his or her own freak flag. And don't go forcing your freak flag on those that don't want it. Accepting the differences is what it's important, not forcing the other unthinking, uncaring jerk into agreeing with your view. As my often (though unintentionally) sage mother would say "That's why they make chocolate and vanilla."

Still, there are those in the community who are ashamed of our more outrageous brothers and sisters. More insidious than the homophobia of the uninformed, is the LGBT community's own internal homophobia.

As many of you know, there are many sub-groups covered under the "LGBT" label, and I won't take up time going into them here (there are books and websites - go look it up). And from time to time, various factions of those sub-groups have been treated (to use Dustin Lance Black's phrase) "less-than" by members of their own community. I suppose the point of this rant is, we can't fight amongst ourselves if we want to convince "them"* that we have a right to be who we are and love who we love without judgment, hatred or violence.

Honestly, I didn't intend for this post to become what it did. I thought I was going to put up some pictures and talk about how outrageous we can be and how funny it is. But then I started reading the authors' captions and realized what was really going on. Yes, some of the stuff is very funny. But it's also very telling.

*No, I'm not saying the Pope is the devil - just that he's stupid, antiquated and out-of-touch with reality.

More, anon.
Prospero