Well, several of the links maybe NSFW. Nothing visible on this post is, though.
Broadway Cares has been a major supporter of those in the theatre community affected by and with HIV/AIDS. They were major supporters of the JTMF silent auctions, providing autographed show posters and other memorabilia, as well as the many hundreds of red ribbons we gave out each year. I made my first donation directly to a cast member after seeing Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoriaat the Marquis. Several events have sprung from the group including the amazing Broadway Flea Market and the annual 'naughty' revue known as "Broadway Bares" (featuring some of the Great White Way's hottest performers wearing nothing - or very little more - than a smile). This year's theme is 'Rock Hard' (get it?), celebrating rock musicals. Advocate.com has the full story (featuring some possibly NSFW shots of hot boys' butts) here, if you are so inclined.
The fuzz-lovers at Accidental Bear had two items that piqued my interest. First was a video trailer for a new magazine (Ugh! That's a thing now, too? Bad enough when they started doing them for novels... but I digress) called 'Good Boys in Trouble,' which appears to be some sort of Fashion/Lifestyle cyber-magazine for Cubs. Check that out here.
The other story that caught my eye was the weirdest and certainly most NSFW thing about this post.
Uber-hottie Ryan Gosling appeared in a rather amazing and quirky 2007 film (which I remember loving) called Lars and the Real Girl, about an awkward young man who invents a relationship with a customized vinyl doll he purchased online. The premise is based on a real-world industry in which a subculture of introverts has come to rely on these 'artificials' for companionship. One company which provides these anatomically correct companions is Sinthetics - link NSFW - (I can't decide if I love or hate that pun). They not only have quite a broad selection of models from which to choose (including 'accessories'), they also seem to pride themselves on how realistic their products are (ew). You can see their VERY NSFW photos and videos here, again if you so inclined. I'm hoping you'd rather see Lars...
Another quickie music post. The Pixies have a new album out and a new video for their single 'Bagboy.' Both are exceptionally weird and wonderful. Alt music fans have been loving these guys since the mid-80's and there's a reason they're still around. Yes, the song is very weird, but it's still oddly compelling.
And while Industrial Rockers Nine Inch Nails may well have an Oscar-winning frontman, the video for their new single, 'Came Back Haunted' is directed by none other than David Lynch and comes with a warning for photosensitive epileptics. Lynch's films range from absurdist philosophy (Eraserhead; Lost Highway) to haunting drama (The Elephant Man). I'd want him to direct my music video, too.
And finally, proof that most Str8 boys are just a six-pack* away from being gay. These drunken frat boys aren't afraid to do let their disco shine.
So, Uncle P has an honest to goodness date tomorrow night - my first in more than ten years! Yikes! I met T on "Compatible Partners," the site E-Harmony was compelled by the courts to create. T seems likes a nice, normal guy from our emails, texts and phone conversations. Of course, my breakup with Ric was rather devastating as I thought I had found the person with whom I was going to spend the rest of my life. Looking back, I'm actually glad that didn't work out as my life would have been very different had we stayed together.
But that has little to do with tonight's post.
First up (via) comes this bizarre and rather entertaining video from tenor August Schram,who mixes realism, surrealism and kink to create this possibly NSFW video for the aria "Habanero" from Bizet's classic opera "Carmen:"
Of course, regular readers know how much of a geek I am when it comes to Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy. And as much as I really loved JJ Abrams' Star Trek reboot, I'm really looking forward to it's sequel: Star Trek: Into the Darkness. Here's a little "behind the scenes" video to whet our geeky appetites:
Last, but not least, new photos of wackadoo Nicholas Cage in test footage for Tim Burton's proposed (and happily aborted) "Superman Lives!" movie have surfaced, featuring Cage wearing a 'muscularly enhanced' Superman costume (see above photo via) Personally, I can't get past Cage's receding hairline. Superman should have super hair, no? Henry Cavill may not have been my first choice for the iconic American superhero, but Cage would certainly be my last. Thank goodness this film was never made. Poor little Cal-El Cage might never have lived down the embarrassment.
Any number of things kept me from my Monday night re-caps of "The Walking Dead" but it started with Sandy and continued through the election and onto any number of other things and there you have a it. So having finally seen the mid-season finale (hole-lee cow!), I thought I'd just review the entire first half of Season 3. As with most of my TWD posts, here there be spoilers. If you are not caught up yet, wait to read this post until you are.
First (and I honestly hate to say it, because I do admire his work), I think Frank Darabont's departure ignited something in the rest of the team, who were determined to do much less slower-moving character work and much more action and now intrigue. The theme for Season 3 is "Fight the dead; Fear the living" and the cast and writers are hitting them out of the ballpark, so far. The additions of Michonne and the Governor and the dark secrets of Woodbury have been handled beautifully (though I do hope we get to see some of how Michonne and Andrea spent their time on the run) and were just what the show needed to keep the story moving forward while providing for plenty of action and weirdness (wall-o-aquariums-filled-with-Walker-heads; a chained-up Walker child). The prison may have some relatively safe areas, we know it is far from impenetrable. And while many cried out in protest when T-Dog became a Walker T-bone, there weren't too many complaints when Lori sacrificed her own life for "L'il Kick Ass" (aka Judith). We may have hated her, but we cried when Rick lost it. Meanwhile, Hershel is proving to be the toughest post-apocalyptic son-of-a-bitch on one leg, bopping around on those crutches like he wasn't even wearing a blue stocking on the lower half of one leg.
Over in Stepford... er, ah... Woodbury, Andrea is so horny for the hot daddy in charge, that she can no longer make a single good decision. Michonne kept you alive for nine months, idiot! Through the winter, moron! Are all the batteries dead, too? I get it. I'd do that man in a heartbeat, unless the sword-wielding badass who has kept me alive for nine months didn't trust him! Speaking of bad-assery, Glenn may well be giving Michonne a run for her own bad-assery. Not only did he take out a Walker while duct-taped to a chair after he'd been severely beaten, he then used the Walker's ulnae to fashion bone shivs for Maggie and himself. Damn! Then there's Merle, who has become the Governor's top man, reveling in his authority and the sadism he gets to practice, under it. Merle isn't half as badass as his younger brother, fan favorite Daryl, who has developed a sense of family and belonging with Rick and company. Here's hoping Daryl now lives by this code: Families are Chosen; Relatives are Not. On the other hand, Michonne and her hard-on for the Governor led to her discovery (and eventual destruction) of what was hiding in his closet. The ensuing hand-to-hand fight between the two was great, ending in a very painful-to-watch cyclopian outcome.
Back at the prison, a new group led by Tyreese (a character introduced in the comics much earlier than in the series' timeline) is under attack and make their way into the prison through the crumbling back wall. Their screams draw out the badass in annoying Carl, who helps, but doesn't trust the strangers and who seemed just a little too eager to pop the young woman who'd been bitten for my liking. Yeah, we know, Carl - you popped your own mom. That doesn't mean you get to pop every Walker-in-Waiting.
Finally, Glen and Maggie are rescued, but not safe; a vengeful cyclops blames a conspiracy and riles up his followers in a scene reminiscent of a certain 1930's German painter; insane experiments; sex and violence; guilt-inspired hallucinations; heart-hardening pain... what more could one want from a Horror series? How about some amazing performances and terrific writing, too? Well, you got 'em!
I know a lot of fans complained that Season 2 seemed to get bogged down at the farm, but I think we all needed that sense of complacency to prepare us for the roller-coaster Season 3 has proven to be. I am loving every episode this season and am so glad they listened to the fans and got back to some exciting story-telling. December and January are going to be difficult for the die-hards. This is one drama that just continues to get better. **** (Four out of Four Stars).
And to just follow-up on yesterday's weirdness, BoingBoing posted the below video in response to the "Buffalo Bill" dance video. It's even weirder and creepier, though the guy has a much better body. Again, you don't need to see the whole thing to get how truly weird it is but hey - whatever floats your boat (though I truly hope it's not this):
When my beloved "Fringe" leaves the air, "The Walking Dead" will move into my #2 Best Show on TV slot.
I wanted to talk about several things today and couldn't decide which to focus on and decided to write about all of them. So here goes:
First up: This week's Gayest Thing is the new film from writer/director Alan Brown (Private Romeo, a flawed but admired Shakespearean adaptation set at a military school), a coming of age romance about a dancer (hottie Ryan Steele) finding and being himself in New York, Five Dances. I liked the idea behind his last film, but what little I saw didn't stick with me and I forgot all about until the trailer for Five Dances. Brown displayed some interesting ideas in the trailer for Private Romeo, if not all the skills to successfully bring them to fruition. But from the trailer below (via), it seems that Brown has learned a thing or two since then. Five Dances may turn out to the gay version of of every modern DanceMance* since 1982 or it could be the sappiest romantic drama sincethe insipid Love Story (a horribly manipulative movie!). Or it just might be a good movie. I'm hoping for the latter:
*I am hereby coining the term "DanceMance," used to refer to the sub-genre of romance films centered around dance. See: Footloose; Flash Dance; Step Up, etc., ad nauseum. Only you can spread it into the lexicon by using and sharing it. Anyway, it looks pretty and there's plenty of eye candy for almost everyone's tastes.
"Your suffering will be legendary..."
Well... on to this week's Weirdest Thing, which is related to the above story by the most tenuous of links -- Dance. I would NOT call what I am about to share a DanceMance, by any stretch of the imagination. What it is, is a bizarre Horror movie mashup video known as "PINHEAD JASON Buffalo Bill DANCE?" The YouTube description says: "WARNING: Just another IDIOT ! doing a Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill
DANCE ! because YouTube just doesn't have enough of those ? Song by Q
LAZARUS" You don't need to watch very much to see everything he does over and over for the entire video, but the fact that someone thought to combine these three iconic Horror villains, is not just weird -- it is downright disturbing (may be NSFW, though no full nudity):
Dashing Through the Reich
Finally, I was going to review the mid-season finale of "The Walking Dead" tonight, but had too many distractions. But I also had a bit of holiday inspiration. I change my Facebook profile picture a lot. If you've seen Uncle P's profile pics here over the years, you know I like to keep them interesting and amusing. My previous profile picture was of Santa Cthulhu. Today I was reminded of Krampus (driving St. Nick's chopper there) and changed my pic to a rather festive rendering of the nasty, Germanic and Eastern European 'Anti-Clause,' who punishes bad children with beatings, dunkings and lumps of coal. Of course the message is "Don't be good to just get rewards, kids! Be good to avoid beatings from a demon!" Happy Holidays!!!! Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you aren't beaten and ass-raped by a Christmas monster from hell. Anyway... Good oleKrampus gave me an idea that has me a little psyched. No details yet, but I'll let you know what, when and if, anything comes of it.
Not Actually Tom Selleck, Though Almost as Delish!
I wonder what this will look like when you read it...
I had too many things to talk about to pick any particular superlative subject for this week, hence the _________ in tonight's title.
Where to start... well, I guess we can start with the obvious... Uncle P, why do you have a picture of a Tom Selleck Birthday cake? Well, Timmy, I'll tell you. Do you like gladiator movies? Good. Me too. They were the first homoerotic images I can remember from childhood. Those and Biblical epics featuring hunky heroes in togas, loincloths and leather battle skirts. Hairy, sweaty musclebound heroes and villains.
In the 70's, the gay community co-opted these physiques into what many refer to as the 70's gay clone. Gay "Adult" film stars like Jack Wrangler and Al Parker had the look. The Village Peoplewere the look. In the 80's, the bear with a pornstache moved into the mainstream when Selleck got his own show, "Magnum, P.I." And there he was... the rich, single, hunky bachelor P.I. with a "man-servant" at a secluded Hawaiian estate... The only way it could be gayer was him kissing Kevin Kline** in In and Out.
I bring all of this up because of the absolutely most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. Apparently, there is no movie that cannot be improved by Tom Selleck's perfect 70's pornstache. The evidence below (via) in the Porniest Thing You'll See This Week (totally SFW):
My favorite is Bowie as Jared, closely followed by Rambo, Superman, Spider-Man and Nic Cage.
So much for facial hair. This next piece (I am ashamed to admit) came from some site I visited today and I feel awful that I am unable to fulfill the bloggers' unspoken etiquette rule of attribution. I am so sorry to which ever one of you I found this on (io9? BoingBoing?), but I'm just too tired to check. It may on either or both. I know we seem to be zombied to death (all puns intended and one reason I stopped the Zombie Zone*), but Iwill always give a shout out when I see something new or particularly clever in the sub-genre. I've recently started re-writing Act III of my latest zombie screenplay and am looking for all sorts of inspiration. The following is courtesy of a facebook friend (you know who you are). It's the second best reason I can think of for using the advertised services. Ladies and germs, the Zombiest Thing You'll See This Week:
Finally, I don't know whether this is the Gayest, Weirdest or Scariest Thing you'll See This Week... You tell me.
LGBT Activist Alvin McEwan writes the blog Holy Bullies and Headless Monsters. The award-winning McEwan specifically targets the hypocrisy, lies and distortions which run rampant in the modern anti-gay movement. I usually get very angry when read Alvin's posts, but I try really hard to be the better person and not send hate mail to all the liars and bullies he exposes almost daily. It's not always easy.
Once a week, Alvin explores gay culture in popular media in the regular feature "Know Your LGBT History." The posts are sometimes poignant, sometimes sad and often very funny. This week's post is very funny. Here is someone's idea of a 'tribute' to 'gay' characters and references in children's entertainment:
Really? I mean, some of them are rather obvious, I suppose. Smithers, of course. But can you count "The Simpsons" as a children's show? Me neither. Tinky Winky? really? Didn't we discuss this already? Batman and Robin. Batman. Robin. Batman and Robin... er, yeah, I know...My friend Arthur and I once laughed ourselves silly when I said that Dr. Smith from "Lost in Space" was "...the first intergalactic hairdresser." Peppermint Pattie? Please - you mock me, sir! You mock me! But the thing that makes me question the whole intention of the video is the inclusion of Mary Poppins. Really? Mary F*&^ing Poppins? How does one come to the conclusion that Mary Poppins is a lesbian?
First of all, she is far too fastidious. I don't know a single lesbian who carries a purse, let alone one large enough to store a coat rack. Second, she's a soprano. I know plenty of lesbian altos and contraltos, but not a single soprano. Third, children love her. Fourth, why do you think she keeps Bert around? Fifth - she can fly. Are you telling me that Tinkerbell; Supergirl; Wendy; Wendy; Elphaba and Samantha Stevens were all lesbians? What? In the same coven, you say? No. I think all the lesbians I know would agree that Mary Poppins (while kind of hot) is not a lesbian. If you have it, please provide proof otherwise.***
Finally, let's address that ___________, shall we?
Oh, I'm crying...During the summers in the mid-to-late 70's, my sister and I spent most of days in our (now long gone) backyard pool. But we made sure Mom let us know when it was 2:45 so we could get out and dry off enough to come in the house for Match Game at 3:00. One of the many, many things that crazy cake lady and I share just between us.
More 'blank,' anon.
Prospero
*Yes, this is the unofficial announcement. The official one will come this weekend on the Zone's final post.
** The only clip I could find was in Spanish, but you know you know this scene.
*** If you haven't figured out how much I am joking in those two paragraphs, go read some other humorless, PC piece-of-crap blog, You have no business here... Now begone, before someone drops a house on you.
Okay... I'll admit to being a bit of an Internet junkie. Having spent most of my day sleeping thanks to a nasty bug I must have picked up sometime in the last few days, I didn't get to do my usual web perusal until this evening, where I discovered both of the videos I am about to share with you tonight.
Where to start? I suppose with TV's longest-running (and dare I say, most consistently funny) show, "The Simpsons." Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are symbols of the American zeitgeist, whether we would like to admit it or not. "Life in hell" cartoonist Matt Groening has captured something so purely American in the tales of this highly dysfunctional family, that we can all find something with which we can identify. Yes, Homer is almost unbelievably stupid (I say "almost" because I speak to the unbelievably stupid almost everyday as part of the day job); Bart may be ridiculously naughty and Lisa ridiculously self-righteous and Marge may very well be the uber-hausfrau, but the show's writers are still able to tap into our collective psyches and address issues with which most of us can relate. So, do we really need this? (SFW - via):
Ew! I'm no prude and have no problem with folks who enjoy a little porn now and then, but really? Of course, hand-drawn comics porn parodies have been around since before the days of Popeye, but I really think a live-action porn version of "The Simpsons" is probably crossing a line we shouldn't be crossing.
So, let's balance that out with the latest video from Ricky Martin -- his first since coming out -- shall we? While the song may not be as catchy as "La Vida Loco" or "She Bang," it's message is far more pertinent to life in the 21st Century. Please enjoy (via) "The Best Thing About Me Is You" (something I can say about most of the people in my own life):
It's snowing here in Southeastern PA again, as I battle a very nasty virus of some kind (which may well explain my exceptionally rambling post from last night) and I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow so I wont have to use another sick day. There is already a good 4 inches of snow piled up on top of what we've already gotten in the past few days (so much for local meteorologists forecasts of 10 to 14 inches for the entire season). I hope you are warm, dry and snow-free. If you live in Australia, I hope it's not in a the region devastated by flooding. I hope no bird or fish kills have have affected your region and that wildfires, mudslides, tornadoes and other natural disasters have affected you or your loved ones.I hope none of you have the bug I have (or any other bugs, for that matter) and that your New Year is starting out the way hoped it might.
So while it's technically Saturday, I haven't been to bed yet, so it's still Friday to me, hence the rare Saturday post here at The Revenge.
So, the show has opened and I can kind of resume my usual Internet explorations at all my favorite sites. And among my most favorite is BoingBoing, where a young fiction sci-fi author and a couple of other science, art and crafting loons post about all things amazing; amusing; steampunk; cryptozoological; mechanical; theatrical and assorted ephemera-related. And it is where I found the video clip which I am about to share with you.
The clip is an extended promo for a Norwegian television program called "Gylne Tider (Golden Times)." I have no idea what kind of program "Gylne Tider" is, though I expect the three men who are seen flipping through the photo album are it's hosts. What astounds me is the completely random assortment of celebrities who agreed to lip-sync to "Let It Be" in front of a green-screen. I mean, did Glen Close know she was going to be in a music video with Malcolm Jamal Warner, Kelly McGillis, Peter Falk (!);* Pamela Anderson; Leslie Nielsen; Dee Snider and Tonya Harding of all people?
This is one of the most peculiar things I've seen in a long time:
I mean, it's not me, right? That was just effing weird, right? And what he hell? *Peter Falk? Mr. Falk is reportedly in the throes of late stage dementia, poor fellow. Did he even know what he was doing? And let's not even get into Leslie Nielsen showing up in something new so soon after his passing. The closest I can come to describing that clip is "Norway's Got Talent: Celebrity Zombie Green-Screen Karaoke Edition." Got anything better?
My dear friend and co-worker Mia sent me the below video, knowing I would love it like a son.
My response to her was "I want some of whatever this guy is smoking." Of course, it would have been so much better if she had sent it to me at 4:20, but hey...
Anyway, the video is bizarre, surreal and somehow still hilarious while taking on one of the most infamous urban legends of all time.
I know that Mia and Uncle P will be calling each other "Charlie" for many weeks to come, while our co-workers look at us, scratching their heads and asking themselves "What the hell is up with those two, anyway?" And we'll laugh all that much more, knowing we have confounded them once again.
Meanwhile, we'll just chuckle at our inside joke and hope that no gay stoner unicorns insist we accompany them to Candy Mountain. My organs are NOT for sale, thank you!
Regular readers will remember this young man from two previous posts here and here. While researching the real topic of this evening's post, I came across the following video in which our young actor appears actually rather sane, and wears a shirt:
But who I really want to talk about tonight is Amy Walker, an actress, singer and teacher with some truly remarkable talent. Here she is singing "Over the Rainbow" as Judy Garland through the ages. It's truly amazing:
And here she is singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid:
Oh, how she makes me want to direct her. Amy's first big YouTube video was "21 Accents in a Row," in which she proceeds to demonstrate exactly what is advertised. You can see more of her work here. Amy, please come act for me!
This video (via) is an ad for MAC Cosmetics "Hello Kitty" line. For those of you unfamiliar, Hello Kitty is a brand of children's products from Japan. As with all Japanese pop culture, Hello Kitty is is insanely popular in the Land of the Rising Sun. You can even get Hello Kitty rifles, wedding dresses and headstones. My friend Janet doesn't care for MAC products. She says they feel too heavy on her face, which I suppose, is why they are the preferred brand among "gender illusionists" (drag queens, folks) around the world. I have no idea what this ad is trying to say. It's just weird.
Sort of like "Alice in Wonderland" meets "The Wizard of Oz" in Tokyo on acid. And you were there... and you were there... and you were there, too. Except you had a giant, black plastic Hello Kitty head.
He's baa-aack! Remember a few weeks ago when I posted the musical Tribute to Robert Goulet? Well, I found more video from the same fellow. This time he sings "Endless Night" from "The Lion King" while wearing underwear on his head, then goes off on several stream-of-conciousness tangents that make my head hurt. Again, don't say you weren't warned:
Does this young man even own a shirt? Oh, how sane he makes me feel. I think I love him.
Okay - I know there's some weird-ass crap out there in the cyberverse, but I stumbled upon this site a few weeks ago and I just can't quite wrap my head around it. Boytaur.net is a site where people take hot guys and photoshop them into centaurs. Seriously. Just look at this picture above.
I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. I suppose there's the whole fantasy geek angle. And the guys they use are hot enough. But seriously... is anyone actually getting off on this stuff?
I suppose there are all sorts of weird scenes and fetishes out there. And the Internet seems to be the place to find them. And before you start calling me a prude or something in the comments, you have to admit, this is just weird.
I'll be back with my review of Friday the 13th tomorrow. Hope you all had a great Valentine's Day and for those of you off tomorrow, have a great President's Day.
I'm not sure what to make of this. It was sent to me by an actor friend, who finds many of the same things funny as I do. It tickled him more, I think. It puzzles me, but it is certainly very amusing. If it's what I hope it is, and not just a stroke of geek luck, then it is brilliantly Kaufmanesque and pure inspired silliness. Clearly the man has a beautiful voice, and I get the Goulet-inspired pompadour and porn-stache. But the toga, the barking and the weird sincerity of the song's interpretation add that perfect soupcon of surrealism that makes me love the Internet so very much. It's "Camelot" as directed by Dali and performed by the inmates of... well, okay, maybe not. What it is, is friggin' weird.And much like the Cheetah Lady a few months ago, it's folks like this that make me feel I'm not quite so insane, after all. I give you a tribute to Robert Goulet (don't say you haven't been warned):
