A: Not Just the Longest River in Africa.

Q: What is Denial? 

Worst and most overused pun of the last 25 years, but I couldn't help myself, and you'll see why in a bit.

And forgive me if it seems that I've been saving up all my gayest stuff for the end of the year, but it just so happens that a lot of gay things have been happening lately. Happily, for the most part, that's a very good thing. Marriage Equality took amazing strides this year, especially after President Obama became the first sitting POTUS to publicly endorse it. There are more elected openly LGBT public servants than in U.S. history. I am actually proud to have lived through three distinct civil rights movements: Ethnic, Gender and Sexual Identity. 

But there is still lots of work to be done. Starting with ourselves. This post is about two very different coming out stories. One sort of amusing and the other in need of advice.

First, (via): It has been reported that porn star 'Cody Cummings' (lamest porn name ever, BTW... Uncle P's is the awesome: 'Shane Hobart'), known primarily as a "Gay-for-Pay" model, has officially come out as full-on gay (though he sort of immediately denies it by saying he'll continue to make bi and straight porn for his female fans). Said Cummings, in part:

I apologize to my fans for waiting so long to make this announcement. You've all been so patient watching me expand my horizons and explore my sexuality onscreen, and while I've been hesitating to say this so long -- because of all the haters -- I feel the need to be honest with you. I am a proud, gay American.

Kevin 'Cody Cummings' Lengyl

I won't deny having seen Cummings (nee: Kevin Kristopher Lengyel) 'perform.' It was the leadenest, dead-eyed sex scene I've ever witnessed (and I've seen the 160-minute version of Caligula). This isn't about my denial, anyway. It is, however, about Mr. Lengyel's. I've often thought there was more to the "GFP" industry than money. I don't care how much I offer any straight man I know, not a single one of them would have sex with another dude. There's no shame in coming out and labeling one's sexuality as "Bi." Why be coy about it? And really - "When life gives you lemons... ?" Being gay is like getting a lemon? Screw you, you self-loathing low-life!

Of course, I can think of one reason to act like such a douche: The gay blogosphere was all over this story today. As the sayings go, "There's no such thing as bad publicity" and "The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about."* Lengyel is not at all my type (thankfully - ick!). Truth is, I don't have just one type but I know when someone isn't one of them. Of course, when his peen turns black and falls off, it won't matter who he wants to boink.

Second and more serious is the clip embedded below, in which a 20 year-old gay man asks for some very specific advice on coming out to a very specific person. Watch it first, and I'll let you know my thoughts and advice:

First of all, I have several friends who went through this much later in life, and they will all agree it is much better for this young man to end it now. 

Secondly, Dude - she already knows. Your wife is in even deeper denial than you have been and has been so even longer than you. You are both young enough to recover from this unfortunate situation relatively unscathed and may very well become best friends again. I have witnessed this particular phenomenon in person, more than a few times. 

Third: It really is getting better. Living true to yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and while the emotional pain both of you may be experiencing now seems like the worse thing you've ever felt, it is nothing compared to the pain of regretting not living the lives you both deserve. The truth will always set you free. Trust me on this one, my young friend. Take a deep breath; put on your big-boy pants; own yourself and everything your are; tell her the truth and move on with the life you were meant to have. 

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Garrett Dillahunt, Isaac Leyva and Alan Cumming in Any Day Now

It's been a while since I've done a "Gayest Thing" post, hasn't it? But I came across these two clips today and had to share. 

First, Writer/Director/Pilot (?) Travis Fine has made a rather unusual film in Any Day Now, the story of a gay couple in the 1970's  ("Raising Hope" hottie Garrett Dillahunt and gay icon Alan Cumming) who take in a mentally challenged neighbor (newcomer Isaac Leyva) after his mother abandons him. Featuring tons of highly respected supporting players including Francis Fisher; Gregg Henry; Chris Mulchy; Alan Rachins Mindy Sterling and Michael Nouri, Any Day Now is the story of a 'chosen' family and it has Oscar-bait written all over it. I'm not sure I buy I buy Cummings' faux-Brooklyn accent, but the trailer alone is a tear-jerker. It's also a story of the early LGBT rights movement of the 70's and should be seen by young LGBT audiences as a lesson of our history and struggles for recognition. It probably won't play here in the wilds of Philadelphian suburbia, though I'm planning on making an effort to see it (via).

And not to make light of important LGBT issues, tonight's second gayest things is via the happy mutants at Io9, who have provided a list of the most disturbing Twilight tie-ins and merchandise they could find. Most disturbing of them all is this trailer (probably SFW) for the gay porn movie Twinklight:

Given the 'adult entertainment' industry's proclivity for exploiting popular film titles, I'm actually surprised that I haven't come across this title before now. Given those same proclivities, I am hardly surprised that it eventually ended up appearing on one of the many sites I visit regularly. While I hardly consider myself a prude, I'll let you guess which one of these two films I'm more likely to see.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Fight You'll See This Week

Warning - links in this post may be NSFW, though the videos are probably fine - unless you work for a church or some other Christian/Muslim/religious organization.

Today, over at My New Plaid Pants, JA offered up a 50th birthday tribute to Gay-for-Pay 90's porn star Jeff Stryker. While I understand Stryker's appeal to a certain demographic, my reaction to him has always been "Meh." He is mentioned as part of a very humorous dialogue between Jeffrey and his father in Paul Rudnick's Jeffrey and that's really all I know (and want to know) about him. He is not "my type," as it were. His Wikipedia page says he was inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame and has a star on the Hustler Porn Walk of Fame. It seems a bit odd to me that someone should be semi-famous for appearing in porn, but so be it. It worked for Jenna Jameson and Traci Lords, I guess. 

Regardless of what you or I may think about the 'Adult Film Industry' and those who participate in the films, we both know that porn stars can only be described as 'actors' in the broadest sense. Which brings me to one of the clips JA included as part of his post about Stryker. It features Stryker and a host of impossibly well-built blonds in a ridiculously silly fight at a train yard, resulting in one of the most unintentionally hilarious scenes ever committed to VHS:

Of course, seeing this clip immediately brought to mind (for the second time this week, mind you) one of the most hilarious fight scenes of all time, from the musical Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter:

Yes, you read that correctly. JCVH is a musical. And yes, Uncle P owns a DVD copy of this movie (it was a Secret Satan Santa gift from an equally twisted Day Job friend). I particularly love how the atheists keep pouring out of the car like clowns in some bizarro circus. Of course, the terrible electronic soundtrack and ridiculous sound effects only add to it's brilliant awfulness. I had the JCVH DVD for about three years before I actually watched it, and only then it was with D and a couple of his friends, all of whom found it just as hilarious as I did.

Here's the thing: Sex is often very funny. And funny is always good, even if it happens when being bad. I just hope you have as much fun being bad as I do. 

More, anon.
Prospero

Does My Broken Toe Trump the New Pee-Wee?

Wha' Happened?

A gentle summer rain is falling as I write this post. I can't think of anything more antithetical to what I am about to share tonight.

While I won't admit to actually being lazy, I will say that on occasion, I am wont to leave things where they don't necessarily belong. Especially shoes. My shoes often end up staying wherever it is that I take them off. That's mostly because I hate wearing shoes. I would rather be barefoot (despite the ugliness that is - are? - my feet). So when I took off my shoes last night. I left them in the living room, at the end of the coffee table where I usually sit to watch TV. This morning, after giving Skye his daily fresh water, I stubbed my left pinkie toe against one of those shoes, cursing and nearly crying from the pain. 

Uncle P - we've all stubbed our toes. It hurts. WTF?

Nothing ever hurt like this. Mind you, I have had  dislocated fingers; broken collar bones; splinters which required surgery and dental surgery from hell.* None of them have come close to this kind of pain. It actually radiates up into my ankle. And while I know there is very little that can be done for such an injury, the very angry dark purple bruise that has developed at the base of my toe is just another indicator of the self-inflicted injury for which I have no excuse but my own laziness. I'd posat a picture of the bruised and swollen digit, but would rather spare you the (literally) ugly details.

Of course, that pain in no way measures up to the humiliation recently suffered by one of my personal hero actors, Fred Willard (pictured above). What a segue.

I've been a fan of Willard's since the days of the bizarro soap opera, "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman." Willard went on to co-host the spin-off "Fernwood Tonight" as well as appearing in most of Christopher Guest's improvised comedies (Waiting for Guffman; Best in Show and A Mighty Wind) along with appearances on "Roseanne;" "Raising Hope;" "Modern Family: and countless other films and TV shows.

Yesterday, Willard was arrested at a Hollywood "adult movie theater" for doing what most men do at "adult movie theaters." Really? This is how the LAPD spends their time, looking for 70 + year-old guys whacking off in porno theaters? Let's forget about all the gang violence and heavy drug trafficking that goes on in L.A. No, we're going  to arrest guys who have their peens out in a darkened porn theater.  Truth be told though, if any comedic actor from this era was going to arrested for this kind of thing, I would have placed money on Martin Mull. Still, Willard now has something in common with Paul Reubens, though I doubt it will have the same effect on his career.

*Which instilled my dentaphobia (?) and requires a post of its own, someday.

More, anon.
Prospero

The PNSW Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

Oh, my...

A Dirty Shame

That's Moisturizer, Right?

This post has nothing at all to do with the disappointing 2004 John Waters' film of the same name.

If you visit the same blogs as Uncle P does, then you've probably already seen the banned Hungarian version of the poster for Steve McQueen's Shame. And while I haven't actually seen the critically acclaimed film, I've heard and read enough about it. Hell, George Clooney made one of the Golden Globes' funniest jokes referring to Michael Fassbender's anatomy in the film. And Fassbender himself has joked that he is contractually obligated to appear naked in every movie he's in.

Many years and about 60 lbs ago, Uncle P briefly appeared naked on stage in the NJ premiere of Terrance McNally's Love! Valour! Compassion! It's not an easy thing to do, the first time. Of course, over the six-week run of the show, it just became part of the show; the next thing that happened in the scene. I was naked for all of ten minutes, I think. And most of that was spent lying on my stomach on a 'raft' in a 'lake.' I disrobed; went backstage and got wet in tub of tepid water (I was supposed to be swimming); came back onstage to lie on the 'raft' and then froze as the heat from the lights rapidly evaporated the water on my skin. It was far from sexy (nor was it meant to be). 

Being naked on stage or in film is rarely sexy (at least for the actor). There's lighting and camera angles, staying in character and having to know what to do and say next; all while a bunch of strangers (either audience or crew) sit or stand around, watching. I imagine it was just as unsexy for Fassbender; especially given the nature of the movie and his character, an unfulfilled sex-addict who derives less and less pleasure from sex, even though he is compelled to seek it out more and more. And while McQueen's film has been a critical darling since it premiered at Cannes last fall, it failed to garner a single Oscar nomination. And I suspect it's because it was released with an NC17 rating. But more on that in a moment.

Of course, if I had a body like Michael Fassbender's, I'd be naked as often as possible. But let's be honest, so few us have bodies like Fassbender's. Or Chris Evans', Ryan Reynolds', Ryan Gosling's or even George Clooney's. And I can certainly understand why that poster was banned in still socially conservative Hungary. Of course, most of the Hungarian Americans I know are as liberal as I am, which I guess says something about the difference between the formerly communist nation and the U.S. And I won't even go into the inordinate number of gay porn stars who claim to be Hungarian - that's a post for someone else's blog. 

Still, I don't understand Americans' squeamishness when it comes to sex. American audiences think nothing of violent murders and closeups of autopsies in films or on TV, but heaven forfend we should glimpse a nipple during the Superbowl half-time show or show a penis on a movie screen. 

Many, many years ago, Uncle P traveled to France with his high-school French club. While in Paris, our teachers thought it would be a good thing to take us to a real French movie. So our tour guide recommended the number one film at the time, L'amour viole (Violated Love). It told the story of a marriage that fell apart after the wife was raped. The rape in question was very graphically depicted and our teachers were visibly upset by the scene and asked the group of 16 and 17 year-olds (who were actually horrified by the scene) not to tell our parents they had taken us to see it. They didn't get that we were far more upset by the film's violence that the sex. 

And that's what I don't understand about American audiences today. Why is it okay to see someone's eye's gouged out or someone get beheaded, but not a woman's breast or a man's penis? Why is alright to watch an unnatural murder, but not a natural act of love? Have our psyches been so pervaded by our Puritan and Victorian ancestors that we can accept blood and death but not love and semen? Obviously, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. Yet most folks will admit to watching Conan the Barbarian before admitting to watching Debbie Does Dallas. There's a strange disconnect there, don't you think? 

Even worse, as provocative and graphic as Shame may be, director McQueen still shies his camera away during the film's one male same-sex encounter, which speaks volumes to how uncomfortable most people are when it comes to that subject. And while queer director Greg Araki proves the exception to that rule, his films have hardly the same high profile as McQueen's.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm one of those few people who actually find sex to be a beautiful, natural and magical thing. Oh, don't get me wrong - I like imaginary violence and murder just as much as the next Horror fan. I just know the difference between the two.



More, anon.
Prospero

Saturday Quickie: The Gayest Video You'll See Today

That's former porn bear Matt Zarley floating in a pool full of CDs.

Matt's been doing more singing than boinking these days, though the video for his latest single "WTF" is probably as close to porn as one can get without actually getting down and dirty. No actual nudity, but it's definitely NSFW.

Please enjoy responsibly:

The Gayest and Weirdest Things You'll See This Week

Okay... I'll admit to being a bit of an Internet junkie. Having spent most of my day sleeping thanks to a nasty bug I must have picked up sometime in the last few days, I didn't get to do my usual web perusal until this evening, where I discovered both of the videos I am about to share with you tonight.

Where to start? I suppose with TV's longest-running (and dare I say, most consistently funny) show, "The Simpsons." Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie are symbols of the American zeitgeist, whether we would like to admit it or not. "Life in hell" cartoonist Matt Groening has captured something so purely American in the tales of this highly dysfunctional family, that we can all find something with which we can identify. Yes, Homer is almost unbelievably stupid (I say "almost" because I speak to the unbelievably stupid almost everyday as part of the day job); Bart may be ridiculously naughty and Lisa ridiculously self-righteous and Marge may very well be the uber-hausfrau, but the show's writers are still able to tap into our collective psyches and address issues with which most of us can relate. So, do we really need this? (SFW - via):

Ew! I'm no prude and have no problem with folks who enjoy a little porn now and then, but really? Of course, hand-drawn comics porn parodies have been around since before the days of Popeye, but I really think a live-action porn version of "The Simpsons" is probably crossing a line we shouldn't be crossing.

So, let's balance that out with the latest video from Ricky Martin -- his first since coming out -- shall we? While the song may not be as catchy as "La Vida Loco" or "She Bang," it's message is far more pertinent to life in the 21st Century. Please enjoy (via) "The Best Thing About Me Is You" (something I can say about most of the people in my own life):

It's snowing here in Southeastern PA again, as I battle a very nasty virus of some kind (which may well explain my exceptionally rambling post from last night) and I am hoping for a snow day tomorrow so I wont have to use another sick day. There is already a good 4 inches of snow piled up on top of what we've already gotten in the past few days (so much for local meteorologists forecasts of 10 to 14 inches for the entire season). I hope you are warm, dry and snow-free. If you live in Australia, I hope it's not in a the region devastated by flooding. I hope no bird or fish kills have have affected your region and that wildfires, mudslides, tornadoes and other natural disasters have affected you or your loved ones.I hope none of you have the bug I have (or any other bugs, for that matter) and that your New Year is starting out the way hoped it might.

More, anon.

Prospero

Preview: "Pornography"

Horror and gay porn have never really been explored in "mainstream" cinema (or at least, not that I am aware of). Here then is the trailer for Pornography, which combines the two (in a strictly "R" rated, probably safe for work way):

Interesting, yes?. I'll probably have to see it on DVD. Lord knows there are few theatres in my area that would play it.

More, anon.
Prospero