You know I love me some gay boys lip-syncing to Diva songs. In fact, the very first "The Gayest Thing" post here on Caliban's Revenge was that little twink dancing to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' in his bedroom. Then there was the boy singing Miley in the shower and who knows how many others. It's been a while since anyone's done one of note so I was a bit surprised to find the video below on Facebook, today.
Former Aberzombie model; trainer; aspiring singer and actor Bryan Hawn (how much do I love that his site has a link to his 'ass workout?' Probably as much as I hate the misspelling of his first name) has posted his take on Sia's "Chandelier."
Uncle P is old, kids. I know that Sia (not to be confused with my sweet friend 'Siah) exists, only because I've seen her name on various websites and may have caught her on "Fashion Police," back when I watched it with Mom. The song is okay, I guess, but it seems silly coming from Hawn's mouth. Truthfully, Hawn isn't exactly Uncle P's 'type.' I get it... hardbody boy and all that... but he's a bit too hairless for my taste (TMI, I know) and there's something about his face... I suppose he just doesn't look very bright (he may be a genius for all I know, though I somehow doubt it). Still, the video is hilariously gay and I know plenty of friends and followers who will totally lose their sh*t over him. Enjoy:
While I had heard the name Pharrell Williams, the only thing I really knew about him was the ridiculous hat he wore to the Grammys. I also had not seen Despicable Me 2, so it wasn't until the Oscars earlier this week that I was finally able to put a face to the singer of an Academy Award nominated song I'd most certainly heard, but never connected to the singer or the movie. Got that?
Papa Paris - which I must assume is some sort of International Gay Assembly, has taken the song and made it very, very gay in a video promoting an event coming up on March 15th... I wish I could remember where I first found this. It (and the following clip) may be NSFW. Otters, Cubs and other Bear fans should enjoy:
Not hot enough for you? Openly gay R&B artist Matt Palmer's latest is about desire, art and damn... I wish someone would break through a wall to kiss me! I hope you like "Teardrops" as much as I did (via):
While I honestly look forward when society stops quantifying people and things as 'gay,' I also hope that my fellow LGBTs will still be able to identify themselves however they prefer to, without judgement or hate.
University of Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam, almost assuredly a draft pick for the NFL next season, has come out. It is my fervent hope that Michael Sam is the gay Jackie Robinson. What a scary position to put oneself in. And how courageous and loved Mr. Sam must be. And the great thing is, if he's not drafted, then the NFL proves itself the bastion of homophobia that Chris Kluwe claims (undoubtedly so), it is.
Regardless of whether or not Sam is drafted, the good news is that more and more high-profile LGBT people are coming forward, refusing to be silent and refusing to deny who they are. The world over, athleticism and physical prowess are celebrated far more than scientific. literary or artistic achievements. And while that hardly makes me happy, it's good to know so many high-profile athletes are stepping up for young fans to know that being gay is not a bad thing. Sam joins my personal list of sports heroes, which includes Greg Louganis; Orlando Cruz; Jason Collins; Martina Navratilova;Chris Kluwe; Brendon Ayanbedjo and British Rugby Bear Ben Cohen, among others.
Speak out. Speak up. Visibility and Familiarity are the keys to Equality.
So, sociopolitical rant over, here's a video by The Perez Brothers called "Weigh In." It's hardly surprising or unexpected but then, that's hardly the point. Enjoy the possibly NSFW short, below (via):
Wow, that's a lot of acronyms in one blog post title. Of course, NSFW is one we're all familiar with by now: Not Safe For Work. And if you read Caliban's Revenge with any regularity at all, you may have sussed out that TGTYSW = The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week. Field space makes for strange acronyms. And the video I am about to share is most certainly the gayest thing you'll probably see all year. The ridiculous pun goes back to an elementary school joke: "What are you eating under there?"
Andrew Christian is well known for marketing his products to young, gay men with lots of disposable income to waste on frivolity. And believe me, I know - quality underwear is hardly frivolous. A traditional "tighty whities" boy growing up, once Uncle P discovered boxer-briefs, there was no going back. I may have experimented with the bikini brief, briefly. But that was back in the 70's and who wasn't experimenting with something in those days?
Personally, I don't find Mr. Christian's line to my taste. I have nothing against colorful britches (my personal favorite pair of boxer-briefs is Blood Red, of course) but I just don't understand how one can be actually be comfortable in some of his more daring designs. I'm also not particularly a fan of the twinky young 'models' (i.e. porn star wannabes) he uses. Being a full-blooded Ursan, I tend to like 'em bigger and fuzzierAnd now that you know WAY too much about me, here is The Gayest Video You'll Ever See Which Isn't Actually Porn (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!):
Bottom line (every pun intended), why anyone would spend the kind of money Christian wants for his skimpy drawers when Hanes does an even better job of providing support and mystique, is beyond me. I can buy 5 pair of Hanes boxer briefs at Target for less than half the cost of one pair of Andrew Christian's 'Candy Pop' drawers.
Then again, I don't have the kind of money the poor, vapid idiots this campaign is designed for have. And even if I did, I would hope that I would use it in more socially productive way. Still, I suppose the old Madison Avenue adage applies: Sex Sells. Just ask Jon Hamm.
The Gayest Breakfast You'll See This Week (4 Bears Only)
Notice: Some links in this post may be NSFW, depending on where you work. I hope by now, no one really needs the link to that acronym.
Anyway...
I actually did make pancakes and sausage this morning for brunch, though not nearly as many of the Pride Cakes (Flip Jacks?) as you see in the image on your left. Mine were actually much smaller, rather misshapen* and regular pancake colored, even though they were whole-wheat. And I used local honey in place of syrup. I do try, though I simply refuse to give up butter. I don't go nuts, but I'm not about to eat something even poop-eating flies supposedly won't touch. Butter's flavor and texture are so necessary for so many recipes. While most, if not all of them, can be made using less butter combined with olive oil, they simply cannot be made with hydrogenated vegetable oils, which are far, far worse for you than honest-to-goodness cow's milk butter.
Sorry for the tangent... because this post isn't about food or cooking or diets or anything other than the fact that June 1st marks the start of Pride Month here in the U.S. Usually at this time of year, Uncle P is either directing or in a JTMF benefit show (our only event this year isn't until October, but more on that, anon). This year, I have the leisure of being able to attend multiple Pride events, should I so desire, without having to man a booth or table at any of them. I've never been to NYC Pride or even Philly Pride. I've only ever been to NJ Pride which is held in Springsteen Central, Asbury Park at the Jersey Shore, which is being held tomorrow. I've been three times, but have never gotten to see the parade, because I was always manning the JTMF table, in hopes of drawing audience members and/or donors. I have a very funny NJ Pride story about D & Siah; a Velcro fly; a very drunken, horny twink named Noel and an Evil You-Know-What for another time. While I have always had time to wander the grounds and visit the other booths, I was never able to see the parade or really mingle with the multitude of gay Guidos on hand.
Here's the thing: I'm not sure I really want to go to any of them. But I actually kind of do. I may decide to brave the traffic and the crowds and go to Philly Pride next Sunday. I've always had a great time checking out the different booths and vendors at NJ Pride (yes, and the hotties), and expect I'd like Philly's version just as much, if not more. I just need to convince someone to join me. Any takers?
Although, if this is the best promo they can come up with, maybe we're all better off staying home:
Really, Philadelphia? Find a new agency, quick, before the Copyranter craps all over that crap. As well he should.
This June, celebrate yourselves, no matter what you sexuality! Celebrate your loved ones who support you and love you for who you are!. Celebrate your partner, if you are lucky enough to have one. Celebrate love, because that's all any of us want and everything all of us deserves. Don't ever stop fighting the haters and the liars.
We've seen more wins than defeats, this past year. Hopefully, SCOTUS will rule in favor of Marriage Equality and the U.S. will join the 21st Century along with the 14 other countries who have embraced marriage rights for all their citizens.
I am the first to admit to being dubious about Warner Brothers' reboot of DC's founding character with Zach Snyder's upcoming Man of Steel. It started a while back with the first pictures of the redesigned suit. Like many purists, I didn't like the loss of the red briefs, though the costume has grown on me a bit. Then I sort of balked at the casting of Henry Cavill. Why was Brit playing an American icon? It would be like Ben Affleck playing James Bond. Then more pictures of Cavill as Clark Kent started showing up. A hairy-chested, bearded Kal El? (How the hell does a Kryptonian shave on Earth?) He was looking mighty fine, though.
Then the rest of the cast was announced. Amy Adams as Lois Lane? Okay, you've got my attention. I love Amy Adams. She's amazing. Laurence Fishurne as Perry White? Um.... sure, why not? As long as he isn't as creepy as he is on "C.S.I." and "Hannibal." . Oh, dear. Russell Crowe as Jor-El? Um.... um... Okay, I'll admit it. I despise Russell Crowe. I think he is an abominable person who doesn't deserve the fans he treats like crap. Wait, what? Kevin Costner as George Kent? Seriously? Why does this hack still have a career? Oscar winner or not, Costner is a bad, bad actor. Diane Lane as Martha Kent? Isn't she too young? I mean, sure, I love her but when did she get old enough to play Martha Kent? It's like Winona Ryder playing Spock's mother in Star Trek. Weird. Oooh! Michael Shannon as General Zod sounds amazing.
The first trailer came out and fans were.... confused.
Hmmm. That was... Oh, wait. I didn't realize Nolan was producing (before the teaser first came out). Okay. This has a chance of being better than Suckerpunch (though to be honest, almost anything had the same chance). Then came Teaser #2:
Well, that was... New Agey. Trailer #3 arrived with with Crowe, a look at Krypton and a few more hints.
Feeling a lot better, but still confused. Superman in handcuffs? More details leaked - No Kryptonite. In fact, Krypton was not destroyed. Kal-El was sent to Earth because he was an illegal natural child. Hmm.... Clark spends his early years afraid of who he is. Interesting. And the name Superman is merely alluded to but not used. David S. Goyer (Nolan's Batman trilogy) wrote the script. He's had more hits than misses, but this is tricky material. Sure, DC writers re-boot their lines all the time. But this is the greatest superhero of all time. There's some very deeply ingrained history with this character and Goyer is taking some major risks with a mythology origin that hasn't changed in 75 years. You guys better know what you're doing. I'll probably see it, but with a purist's eye and a romanticist's heart.
Then yesterday, this trailer hit the net and everything changed (watch FULL SCREEN!):
Damn! Now that is the kind of big-screen; 3D; action-packed; 21st Century Superman movie the franchise needs. That trailer single-handedly changed Man of Steel's status from "Want to See" to "MUST See." I may want to be Batman, but I have have always been in love with Superman. It looks like Nolan and Snyder may well make me fall in love with the big gorgeous lug all over again!
Part of my problem with Country is its mostly homophobic fanbase. I say "mostly," because I know plenty of gay boys who adore the stuff. Some of them even go line dancing. For the record, Uncle P doesn't do any kind of line dancing and I'll punch any wedding DJ who plays the "Electric Slide" in the side of his or her head until he or she falls over and I can take over with real dance music - same thing goes for the GD "Chicken Dance." If I ever meet the a-hole who came up with that monstrosity, I cannot promise that I won't commit a felony of some kind. And don't even get me started on the Macarena...
Anyway, there are strides being made, even in Nashville. Canadian Bear Drake Jensen has literally been singing singing the praises of hairy men since his cover of Anne Murray's "A Little Good News" in 2001. His latest album Outlaw, is scheduled for release this coming February. The first single, a cover of Tammy Wynette's "Stand by Your Man" (another Country classic I can actually listen to without vomiting) features drag impresario William Belli. Here's the video (via - link may be NSFW):
That version is even better than this one:
Drake married his manager, Sean Morin in 2008 in Ottawa, where the two live. Jensen joins k.d. lang, Doug Stevens and Cheli Wright as one of the few out Country singers. Honestly, I'm looking forward to the day when no one's sexuality is an issue and being "out" is no longer a thing of importance. Until then, I'll continue to (you should pardon the expression) sing the praises of public figures and celebrities who openly embrace and bravely exclaim who they are.
The sound you hear is Walt Disney spinning in his block of ice, stored in a super-secret underground lab in Anaheim.
If you've ever read my profile, you'll note that Uncle P is not a fan of rap music. I generally detest it, no matter who is doing the rapping. I think it's because rap sounds angry, no matter what the subject. Love songs shouldn't feature guns, knives, cars, hos and/or strippers. No one should get shot or stuffed in a trunk and driven off a bridge.
Big Dipper is a Gay Bear rapper. Probably the only one in existence. He's not an unattractive man (hot in the way Kevin Smith can be - come on Bear Lovers - you know it's true). I had never heard of Big Dipper before tonight, when I checked out Towleroad and found the EXCEPTIONALLY NOT SAFE FOR WORK video, below. Raunchy, sometimes sexy; often weird and always very, very inappropriate, Big Dipper takes a a classic from Disney's Bambi and turns it into a dirty little rap extolling the virtues of nasty gay sex. Don't say you haven't been warned.
I'm not sure if the censored sex scenes were real or not, but I wouldn't be surprised.
There are times when I sit down to write and have no idea what I'm going to talk about. And there are times when an idea takes hold, but doesn't make it to the blog right away (such was the case tonight, with a planned piece about a very different kind of music). Then there are times when you stumble on something so flabbergasting, you just have to talk about it. So much for best laid plans, eh?
Here's the thing: I am all for artistic expression and writing what you feel. And I know all too well that there are all kinds of people with all kinds of preferences; turn-ons and fetishes. But in a time when Equality is the LGBT community's biggest issue, is this the image we want presented to the general population? I know - most Str8t people won't see this video. But imagine if someone like Rick Santorum or Rick Perry got a hold of it. I can hear the speaking in tongue as I write this. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that video. I wouldn't haven't written about like this, if I did. You should know I'd be ranting and raving if I thought it encouraged wrong-doing or truly immoral acts. What people do in their own homes is their own business. I don't believe in heaven or hell. I do believe that morality can exist without religion. And I believe in freedom of speech.
Still, I worry that LGBT people will never be equal as long as we go to outrageous lengths to prove our difference. I know, I know.. "We're Here! We're Queer! Get Used To It!" We should celebrate our diversity. But do we have to be so extreme about it? I'm not saying that by any means we should be quiet, but perhaps we can approach the opposition with a little more honey, than vinegar. How about instead, we say: "We're Here! We're Queer! We're You're Family, Friends and Co-Workers! We Only Want the Rights You Already Have! We Don't Recruit Your Children! We Won't Destroy Your Marriages!" Too long? Yeah, I thought so, too.
We walk a delicate balance, every day. "Separate But Equal" didn't work in the 60's. It doesn't work in the 21st Century, either. Love who you are, what you do and how you do it, but know that there will always be those who will hold that against you.
Or am I totally off-base here? I'm certainly not advocating a 'Gay Uncle Tom" thing, here. I'm just saying that if we keep scaring the opposition, they'll never get it. I don't think that's unreasonable, do you?
Hopefully, nothing else will distract me tomorrow from posting what I had originally intended to write about, tonight.
First of all, I must send out massive congratulations to my angel Matty, who today set a new Guinness World Record for longest continuous kiss. Matty and his friend Bobby kissed for 33 hours straight (no pun intended). This marks the first time that the record has been set by a same sex couple. I am so very proud of him.
You can read all about it here on Towleroad. There's already been talk of the boys appearing on "Ellen," though I'll believe that when I see it. Matty appeared in the JTMF production of The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told, was Assistant Stage Manager for Sordid Lives and will be seen next June in the JTMF production of Die Mommy, Die!
And thanks to my dear Stephen in Portland, comes the trailer for the gay romantic comedy* Bear CountryCity, in selected cities now and available on DVD in December. As a big ole bear (and bear aficionado) myself, Uncle P is really looking forward to seeing this one. Trailer may be NSFW:
*I look forward to the day when I no longer have to qualify a romantic comedy as 'gay.'
Okay - I'm off to (hopefully) finish the sound plot for Top Girls. We open Thursday, so I may be quiet (well, online, at least) for a few days. Wish me broken legs.
Just a quick caveat - this entire post may be NSFW. Don't say you weren't warned.
As a card-carrying, big ole hairy Gay Bear, I couldn't help but find the video below both entertaining and so very gay.
I can my hear my straight readers now: "What's a gay bear?" Normally, I'd say "Look it up, bitch!" But I'm feeling generous tonight. For those who are still completely clueless, you can read the rather superficial description at Wikipedia. But Bears are so much more than that. I, for one, usually hate plaid flannel and try to be as fashion-forward as possible. Sadly, the fashion industry for men seems to be right in line with the fashion industry for women in designing clothes for those who are either terminally thin or impossibly perfect. Personally, I'm much more comfortable in vertical stripes.
To your Uncle P, 'Bear Culture' seems all too caught up in creating a separatist group of gay men, rather than embracing the total LGBT community. Bears are stereotypically known for their predilection for plaid; leather; work boots and crew cuts. Indeed, there are even sub-groups within the Bear community. There are "Daddies," "Cubs," and even "Otters" (usually hairless young men who are attracted to older, hirsute guys ). There are Bear Clubs, Bear Bars and even Bear Campgrounds, where socially masculine gay men are free to express their sexuality without recrimination.
While the general (i.e. 'Straight') community may not understand why there are so many LGBT sub-communities (and don't even get me started on that subject), those of us who find ourselves, whether we want to or not, part of one of those sub-communities, and understand all too well. Everyone, no matter what his or her sexual orientation may be, longs to be both unique and socially accepted. If that means defining oneself by physicality, then so be it. Personally, I find myself attracted to all sorts or people; gay or straight; hirsute or smooth; buff or sporting 'a few extra pounds.' In the end, it shouldn't matter who or what we love, but only that we do.
All that having been said, please enjoy this NSFW music video from Pixie Herculon (via):
Agree? Disagree? Want a date? Leave me a comment. You should know by now how much I love hearing from you.
How on Earth did I never hear of Dutch "Bear Band" Bearforce1? Apparently formed two years ago as a Boy Band parody, their Disco medley was a target of YouTube parodies which escaped my gaydar (which has proven far from infallible) somehow.
Sadly, my first introduction to them is in the announcement of their break-up. TowleRoad has the full story from Bearotic (may be NSFW), along with photos and two other videos from the Hirsute Hustlers, as well a few of those parodies, here. I've posted their eponymous first* single, below.
Now you may well be asking yourself why I put a picture of Yogi and Boo-Boo, rather than a picture of Bearforce1. Honestly, after you see the clip, you'll realize how gay this picture is. A chubby Bear and his Cub traipsing through the forest, fruit floating in the air and that dirty smile on Boo-Boo's face say it all. To quote Jack MacFarland, "Does a Bear have anonymous sex in the woods?"
* I originally typed the word 'first' as 'fist,' which upon proof-reading, would still be somewhat appropriate...
Ouch! Sorry - I was possessed by the spirit of Stephen Rader, for a moment.
