Guest Blogger Barb W. on "Uncle P"

Barb is a 'Disney Dork'

When I was asked to guest blog, my first thought was HOW COOL!! Then my second thought was "What the heck am I going to write about?" So I thought about the infinite things I could write about and listed them out.

I could write about the things I know, such as baking and cake decorating. I could write about the E-commerce shopping channel for which I work. I could write about the thing that makes me a FL dork, in general.

And then I thought that these topics, while interesting to me, would bore the pants off of most people. So what else could I write about with which I feel comfortable? Something I know and feel comfortable sharing with people all over the globe who read this blog, regularly?  The answer was quite clear, when I thought about it. I will blog about my brother, Uncle P.

Oh not in the way you think.  I want to share with you how special my brother is to me.  Most people who have siblings love their brothers and sisters and some may be particularly close to them. But most people I know are not.  My brother is 6 years older than me and in many ways that’s never been an issue.  Sure there are generational gaps because of obvious things like in the early 80’s I was just beginning high school when my brother was just beginning his adult life.  

But for the most part, the age difference has never been an issue in our relationship.  It has brought diversity and enough difference to help round each other out.  We both love movies, theatre (although he more than me) a good laugh and general silliness.  We both love to read and are both a bit of a foodie.  But as much as we are alike is just as much as we are different. 

Why does all of this matter?  Well, I think more than anything because whenever I think of my brother, I can’t help but smile.  I have wonderful memories from my childhood that always make me smile because of him.

We have more inside jokes than any two people I know. He is the only person I can make laugh by uttering one word.  To give you a bit more insight on how we grew up, I was probably the only girl around the age of 10 that was able to quote Monty Python and actually get most of it.  

One very special hing we shared as kids was our love of The Little Rascals (I'm talking about the really old ones, with Spanky as a toddler). We quote them and refer to them often and most people don't have a clue as to what the heck we are talking about. Our mother (and my husband) will tell you that we have our own secret language, which neither of them understands.

I guess what I’m trying to say is if you don’t already know this, Uncle P is a very unique and special individual.  With all of his ranting, raving, accomplishments, challenges, opinions and sometimes just plain silliness, you the reader have entered a world via this person that is pretty incredible.

Is it extraordinary?  Probably not by some people’s standards but by mine, yes.  

I may not say it all the time but I am so proud of my brother for taking risks and for being who he is on his own terms.  I love him like no other and always will. 

Keep reading because I know you will be not only entertained but slightly enlightened by the shining soul that writes this blog. 

So with that, I leave you with a source of some of that silliness and hope it makes you giggle like a fool like I do when I see it and I know he will while watching it.

 Uncle P, here. I was torn about posting this piece. I was surprised and a little humbled when I read what my sister had to say but ultimately decided to post it because a) I asked her to write something and b) she did so, beautifully. And speaking of something beautiful, here's a couple of her beautiful cakes:

Hairspray  opens tonight. I'll be back on Sunday.

More, anon.

Guest Blogger Michael Offutt on "Gays in 'Game of Thrones' Season 2"

Gethin Anthony as Renly Baratheon

With the return of Season Two of George R.R. Martin’s HBO series, A Game of Thrones, I wanted to examine the gay connection.  The first three books in the series, A Game of Thrones, A Clash of Kings, and A Storm of Swords are masterpieces.  George writes them borrowing a page from Faulkner in much the way Absalom, Absalom! is written using its four narrators.  George starts with a point-of-view character and goes from narrator to narrator, chapter by chapter and unfolds an epic tale of deceit, magic, terror, and the rise and fall of kingdoms.

 

The first gay character we encounter is Renly Baratheon. He’s played by very handsome Gethin Anthony. His lover is Ser Loras Tyrell, also known as the knight of the flowers.  And yes, I think Ser Loras is absolutely beautiful. 

Gay tropes that George falls back on in the novelizations: 

1. Renly's personal host of men that surround him are known as 'The Rainbow Guard.' George knows full well that the rainbow is the symbol of gay culture. I feel that this is a nod toward gays and how they have been under-represented in mainstream fantasy.

2. Renly Baratheon takes a "beard." In other words, he is married to Ser Loras' sister (who is young and beautiful) but there is much talk that the marriage was not consummated. This use of a beard seems pretty standard in a culture (much like our own) that frowns on open outright homosexuality from men in the position of role model.

3. Ser Loras is the Knight of Flowers. This in itself is a kind of stereotype, but whatever. I still like him.

Finn Jones as Loras Tyrell

Where George bursts through the boundaries and breaks stereotypes:

1. Renly is a king and a powerful one at that. He raises a huge army and people love him. They literally flock to his banner, making him a serious contender for the Iron Throne

2. Ser Loras is the bravest and teh best knight in the realm. No one can out-do him. It is questionable if Jaime Lannister can even best him in single combat. This is frickin' awesome.

3. We saw in Season 1 that Renly and Ser Loras fled as soon as King Robert died. That tells me that the gays are the smart ones. Poor Hand of the King, Ned Stark stayed and got his head chopped off. He should have listened to the gays.

Sean Bean as Ned Stark

Thanks for letting me guest post I hope all of you are watching "Game of Thrones" on HBO.

1)     Uncle P, here. I don't have HBO and have never seen "Game of Thrones," so I have no idea what the heck Micheal's talking about here, but I trust him. His first novel, Slipstream is now available at Amazon. I'll be reviewing it after Hairspray closes. You can read Micheal's blog here.                                                          

 

Sean from "Just a Jeep Guy" on Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

Hey There. Sean from Just A Jeep Guy here. While Prospero is breaking an eyelash as Edna in Hairspray, now playing at the Kelsey Theatre benefiting The James Tolin Memorial Fund (tickets here), he's asked me to guest blog for him. I'm very flattered as I've been a fan/reader for years.

When I told Prospero that I wanted to do a post about a cabin in the woods he was all, "Hands off! I'm seeing it first!" then I told him that I didn't mean the movie but this actual cabin in the woods:

The Perfect Hide-away from Survivors of the Apocalypse

 

 

Of course you have stored your apocalypse wardrobe of which I recommend following t-shirts for their timely fashion statement and ease of washing blood stains out.

Humans Might Leave You Alone If They Think You're Already Infected

They Can't Say You Didn't Warn Them

Low Self Esteem

I'm #1! I'm #1!

Deceptive Advertising

 

I hope you've enjoyed my visit and be sure to check out my blog, Just A Jeep Guy. T-shirts are from badtshirtideas.com. 

Prospero here. Sean was one of my first followers and we're finally going to meet this Saturday when comes to matinee performance of Hairspray! I can't wait!

More, anon,

Jinx on 'The Curious Adventures of Musicians in Horror'

Uncle P's first guest is Jinx, a lovely British lass who writes the horror blog Totally Jinxed.  She has a very British sense of humor and like me, often loves the more absurd aspects of really bad horror movies. Enjoy!

I was clearly born to be a rock star, I think that’s obvious, I’ve got the tattoos, the massive hair and I own a lot of leather and leopard print. Clearly all evidence points to my inherent rock staredness, except for one thing – I was tragically born with absolutely no musical talent whatsoever. None at all. It’s shocking. I can’t even clap in time. There are also several restraining orders in place that prevent me from even singing in company because it’s so horrible. I truly have the voice of tonally challenged deaf banshee. It’s quite tragic really, you should pity me.

Some people, though, don’t have this problem. Some people are so chock full of talent it’s brimming over, brimming over to such an extent the rock cannot contain it and it has to spurt majestically into other areas (I achieve much the same effect when I try to wear skinny jeans) and often the area it spurts into is horror, and we get to enjoy the bountiful outpourings.

Dee Snyder, Strangeland (1998):
                                                                    

 

In the 80s Dee Snider confused a lot of dads as the androgynous frontman of Twisted Sister. In the 90s Mr. Snider turned his considerable talent to horror to star in the self-penned Strangeland as sadistic madman Captain Howdy.  Captain Howdy enjoys heavy piercing, tattoos, suspension and long walks on the beach. As Captain Howdy Dee judges the nation’s kids as badly in need of experiencing the necessary rites of passage into adulthood, and by ‘rites of passage’ he means being locked up in his basement and ritualistically tortured by way of excessive piercing. He achieves this goal by using that new fangled internet thingy that all the kids are into. 

 Meatloaf, Wishcraft (2002):

Mr. Loaf has done his bit for the film industry; The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Fight Club, that perennial classic Spiceworld: The Movie, he’s done his bit and no one can say he hasn’t. He’s also done his bit for horror starring in a Tales from the Crypt ,the Masters of Horror Dario Argento directed Pelts and more recently Burning Bright. He also starred in Wishcraft, and Wishcraft is hil-ar-ious.

High school geek Brett Bumpers (hilarious in itself) receives bull cock in the mail that, somewhat surprisingly for the unmentionables of a bull, has the power to grant three wishes to whomever owns it. Turns out Brett isn’t as bright as his geek status might lead you to believe and he promptly wastes his cock wishes in pursuit of the resident high school hotty. While this inept wishing is going on obnoxious teens start dying at the hands of an inhumanly strong maniac. Meat Loaf investigates. I would watch a show called Meat Loaf Investigates. I imagine it would be kind of like The Equaliser but with extra Meat Loaf. Note to self: get my people to contact Meat’s people, (by ‘my people’ I suspect I mean my cats.) Meat Loaf plays Detective Sparky Shaw who gamely embarks on a bumbling hunt for the killer.

Lordi, Dark Floors (2008):

 

When Finnish pantomime metal band Lordi made history in 2006 by winning the Eurovision Song Contest* with a record 292 points I thought it was awesome. I actually watched it and was excited by the absurd defiance of the whole affair. When Lordi appeared in their first big-screen feature Dark Floors my overriding emotion was slightly different, I can only describe it as being heartily baffled. 

Lordi (They look kind of like Gwar to Uncle P)

 

A group of people get stranded in a hospital when it unexpectedly transpires it is actually a portal to another dimension. (Coincidently, tha tlast sentence is also my prediction for the star sign Aries today). Occasionally a member Lordi shows up and everyone runs away in a manner reminiscent of Scooby Doo. This goes on for a long time. Bizarre, silly and confusing, but with a high rock quotient. 

*High camp meeting of all Europe’s apparently least talented performers who compete to be designated the least awful act. Voting by the competing countries is hilariously political, needless to say Britain never wins, however, to be fair, Britain also has a habit of picking laughingly embarrassing acts, with the dubious exception of Bucks Fizz who took their clothes off to victory in 1981.  As a nation we have never forgotten this, much same as how we continually harp on about the 1966 World Cup. We are a great nation.

 

Deborah ‘Debbie’ Gibson, Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus, (2009):

 

In the 80s Debbie Gibson was the blonde teen pop icon, pop today can’t hold a candle to her bubblegumness, she pisses on Brittany – metaphorically speaking, of course. She wrote her own songs and everything. Go, Gibson!

In recent years she has fittingly brought her peculiar brand of nostalgia to the horror genre starring in a variety of ‘mockbusters’ for the SyFy channel.

A bizarre ecological accident ,which seemingly serves as a warning to us all of the ramifications of mixing made up silly science and poor quality CGI without adequate safety precautions, unleashes two prehistoric monsters hellbent on eating everything in sight. Deb obviously plays an oceanographer charged to curtail the beasts’ feeding frenzy.

Go, go Gibson Mini-sub!

 

My favourite thing about any given SyFy movie is always ‘the science bit’ the bit where they irrationally ‘explain’ precisely why a giant worm/fish/moth/whatever is inexplicably attacking the general populace. There’s tons of illogical science in Mega-Shark vs. Giant Octopus, including one protracted scene where lots of sciencey liquid is continually transported between many test tubes for no apparent reason. Ultimately though the whole thing is solved by Deb having sex with another scientist, as all the best things are. Go, science!

Science in Action!

Strangely I’ve just realised that 3 out of 4 of my rock horror stars have made appearances in the Celebrity Apprentice, I am unsure what conclusion to draw from this statistic. However, I will say that Meat Loaf having an epic tantrum with Gary Busey because he thought he’d stolen his crayons was possibly my favourite TV moment from last year. TV gold!

Jinx will return in Further Adventures of Musicians in Horror at a Totally Jinxed near you. 

Jinx is a horror blogger from the UK. She likes whiskey and getting tattooed and she apologizes for any drop in quality at Caliban’s Revenge today, she accepts that it is solely her responsibility and in no way reflects on the talents of Prospero who is obviously awesome to the max.  

Uncle P, here. I promise I didn't make Jinx say that, but I love that she did. She's pretty awesome, herself!

More, anon.

Hey! I'm a Guest!

Check me out over on Pax Romano's blog for "Homos Who Love Horror and the Non-Homos Who Love Them," Billy Loves Stu.

Pax loves horror movies even more than I do (is that possible?) and this month he is celebrating Pride and Horror with interviews and guest posters and all sorts of wonderful things.

If you've never visited Billy Loves Stu, you should. It's always a good time. Pax is a fellow Jersey boy and all-around good guy. And by the way, if you don't get the title of Pax's blog, I suggest a full course of Wes Craven movies to remedy that...

More, anon.

Prospero