TV Review "The Strain"

Director Guillermo del Toro and writer Chuck Hogan came up with their own twist on vampire mythology in their trilogy of novels "The Strain," "The Fall" and "The Night Eternal." The first novel pays homage to Bram Stoker's "Dracula," substituting a plane for ship Demeter, but later delves into epidemiology; the logistics of plague and the spread of disease using one of horror's oldest tropes, the vampire. The cable channel FX has developed the trilogy into a TV series, with Del Toro and Hogan at them helm, assuring audiences that the series will be at least as good as (if not better) than their novels.

Hottie Cory Stoll ("House of Cards;" The Normal Heart) is CDC doctor Ephraim Goodweather, who is brought in when a plane from Austria arrives at JFK "dead." All equipment is off, all the lights are out and all but one window shade is closed. Of the 210 people aboard, only four are alive, though by the end of the first episode, it is clear that none of them are 'dead.' Eph is also in the midst of a custody case over his young son, Zach, which serves as both a distraction from his work and a stress-factor in life. Meanwhile, aged pawn-shop owner Abraham Setrakian (Harry Potter's Argus Filch, AKA, David Bradley) knows that an old enemy has come to America and is determined to stop him, at any cost,

Drawing on classical vampire mythology. "The Strain" adds virology to the mix, adding an intriguing (and often disgusting) element to the genre. Del Toro has directed the first three episodes and written (along with Hogan and others) the first 7, staying close (so far) to novels' plot, while adding and/or subtracting for TV audiences. The cast, which includes Sean Astin; Kevin Durand ("Lost's" Keamy) and several other TV vets, seems well up to the task at hand. And the effects are downright disturbing. Blood-sucking worms and supernormally fast & strong creatures are abundant, while subtler motifs ("Papa. I am so cold") abound. Two episodes in and I am totally hooked. Hopefully, the series will not totally rely on all three of the novels, the second and third of which left much to be desired. So far, though, the series is excellent! ***1/2 (Three and a Half Stars Out of Four).

Happy watching!

More, anon,
Prospero

Review: "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron & Liam Neeson

Director Seth MacFarlane's sophomore feature (following the hilarious and heartfelt Ted) is the deliberately anachronistic Comedy Western, A Million Ways to Die in the West. To be perfectly honest, while it's not as good as Ted (it's missing much of that movie's good-naturedness) it does have much more than a few very, VERY funny moments and visuals. Peppered with the kind of trademark non-sequiturs and throwaway jokes MacFarlane uses on his animated series "Family Guy," A Million Ways... never wastes any opportunity to gross us out, make us squeal in discomfort or belly-laugh at something outrageous. 

MacFarlane is Albert, a dirt poor, bad sheep farmer (his sheep have a tendency to wander any and everywhere) whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) dumps him after he talks his way out of a gun fight with a neighbor by offering a cash settlement. His best friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) is in love with foul-mouthed prostitute Ruth (Sarah Silverman) but they can offer no consolation when Louise takes up with wealthy owner of the Moustachery,  Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Meanwhile, outlaw Clinch (Liam Neeson) sends his wife Anna (Charlize Theron) with one of his boys to pose as brother and sister in the Arizona town where Albert lives, while he hides out after murdering a prospector. A ridiculous barfight (started by Anna's 'brother') eventually leads to friendship and romance between Albert and Anna. 

There isn't much new, plot-wise in A Million Ways... We all know how it's going to end as soon as Anna and Albert meet. And while the modern dialogue (complete with 21st Century teen slang) is a bit jarring at first and the cartoon violence always ends in horrific deaths and/or mutilations, they somehow manage to work together, despite every indication that they shouldn't. There are plenty of racist jokes (the shooting gallery at the county fair is called "Shoot the Runaway Slave" and a scene involving Cochise is loaded with 'Indian' gibberish)  and nonsense (ingredients in a 'health tonic' include mercury and red flannel, while the sight of a dollar bill has the townsfolk 'oohing' in reverence) and a ton of very funny, quick and mostly uncredited cameos (think Jane Weidlin in Clue), the funniest of which involves a beloved character actor recreating his most iconic movie role for yet another anachronistic gag. My three companions (M, Dear D and Stephanie) all laughed a lot (often missing bits of dialog because of it), though D was a bit put off by Silverman's very explicit descriptions of her work day. The performances are all fine and MacFarlane uses his adorableness to it's fullest extent. D also thought Theron wasn't interested or interesting for the first half of her performance, but I think that was a deliberate choice. Oh - and there's a big musical number about... mustaches! And an obviously Salvador Dali-inspired hallucination scene that is pure genius!

Interestingly, while I was undoubtedly the oldest among my companions, we were collectively among the youngest members of the matinee audience. And surprisingly, the older folks seemed to enjoy it almost as much as we did. I expected at least two or three couples to walk out, but none of them did so, though I heard an older man behind us make two funny remarks. The first was "This is the craziest movie I ever saw!" and the second was "Whose idea was it to see this, again?" I'm guessing he's never seen The Forbidden Zone. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that all of the nonsense is made so much funnier by Joel McNeely's dead-on, sweeping Western score.

If you are a fan of MacFarlane's other works (I definitely am), you will most certainly enjoy A Million Ways to Die in the West. If outrageous, gross-out, nonsense comedy isn't your thing, you probably won't. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R for "strong crude and sexual content, language throughout, some violence and drug material." The Red-Band trailer below is definitely NSFW and features several clips that do not actually appear in the movie (I HATE that!).

More, anon. 

Prospero

Netflix Revew: "Hansel & Gretel Get Baked"

I suppose a preface of sort is required here. For the past 10 years or so, my rock, K has spent Christmas Eve with Mom and myself. In a beautiful post on Facebook, K expressed how she was going to miss those weird and wonderful nights now that Mom was gone. And since I'll be at my sister's for Christmas Eve this year (something already passed by the time this post is published - how freaky is that?), I proposed that we have a Christmas Eve Eve with many of the traditions we've shared for so long. We were joined by our sweet, funny, weird, wonderful and adorable friend Michael for a lovely candle-lit night of good food, good drink and very good company. Honestly, everyone should be so lucky to have friends like mine - I love and thank them so much. 

Anyway... after dinner we decided to search Netflix for something to entertain us. K and Micheal searched through my personal list, which includes lots of movies only I (and a few of you... Pax...) would appreciate. And after an unabashedly intoxicated K had issues with the WiiMote, I took over, asking what they wanted to see. "Something funny!" they both said. So I went to the list of movies suggested because I'd watched Tucker and Dale vs Evil. I skipped along the menu until I hit upon a title that made me laugh and chose it, saying "If it sucks, we'll change it!" That title was Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. Starring "Castle" regular Molly Quinn as Gretel; the Twilight movies' Michael Welch as Hansel and a frighteningly over-surgeried and an almost unrecognizable Lara Flynn Boyle as a the immortal Bavarian-Nazi-Cannibal-Witch, Agnes who grows and sells enchanted dope to unsuspecting teens. Not surprisingly, the ingestion of those teens' flesh help both restore and maintain Agnes' youth.

Writer/Actor David Tillman's script is just clever enough to keep our interest, amusingly referencing  the story we all know and aided by costume designer Elizabeth Jett's very decidedly Tyrolean-inspired outfits for Ms Quinn. Add plenty of gross-out moments and hilarious puns (Agnes starts out as literally a 'Little Old Lady from Pasadena'), and Hansel & Gretel Get Baked ends up being a very funny modern take on the story via Cheech and Chong, where Skittles serve as breadcrumbs and hot young guys get slathered in herbed butter while strapped to a mortician's gurney. Cary Elwes makes a cameo as the Meter Man while a slew of other character actors you will recognize from every procedural TV show from the last 20 years crop up in other supporting roles.

Not everything works perfectly (Boyle's age makeups aren't quite convincing, though I suspect that may have more to do with her tragic cosmetic surgeries, than anything else). And some of the CGI FX (especially in the denouement) are a bit forced. But if you're looking for a funny, gory and gruesome distraction from all the Holiday nonsense you've been forced to endure in the past month or so, you could do certainly do worse than Hansel & Gretel Get Baked. I would definitely recommend it over the Big Studio crapfest that was Hansel &Gretel: Witch Hunters.

Screened at this year's Tribecca Film Festival, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked is currently available on Netflix and DVD. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R' for Violence, Gore, Drug Use and Language, it was exactly what the three of us needed, even if K covered her eyes during the gory bits.

More, anon..
Prospero

The Grossest Thing You'll See this Week

I owe you an apology in advance. I wasn't going to post tonight - I've been trying to catch up on other things, and then there is the show I'm in. But then, I came across this:

Good Lord! Is this what the Internet has brought us to? I expect the Information Age will in the future be known as the Too Much Information Age. I didn't need to see this exceptionally fat man's titties (nor did you, for that matter), but there they are; on display for the whole world to see and judge. Apparently, Chuck Barris was ahead of his time. The Internet is the new Gong Show, with any manner of whackadoo displaying his or her talents online for the whole world to see and judge. And judge we will. Because the rest of us are perfect Tens who never do anything embarrassing or distasteful in public.

But at least we don't put it online for everyone who has an ISP to see. Yeesh!

More, anon.
Prospero