My Guilty TV Pleasure

Nick Cannon Pranks the Judges

The recorded episodes of my Reality TV guilty pleasure are over for the season. The top 47 of 48 acts have been chosen for the remaining live shows of "America's Got Talent" at Radio City Music Hall (the 48th is still being voted on, online). You can read the full list here, if care to see it. And while it's still early enough that I don't yet have a 100% favorite, I was pleased to see several of my favorites are going into the live rounds at Radio City. I was also sad to see a few favorites not make it. And a couple I'm still not sure about.

Of the male singers to make it through, Miguel Dakota is both talented and adorable. If he would only ditch the stupid knit hat.

On female singers, I'm torn, though I am so pleased that quirky, beautiful and talented Emily West (which also happens to the name of a very talented actor I am lucky enough to have directed).

Damn! That performance was so hot, even I'M turned on! Ms West, regardless of the outcome, is about to become a star!

Magicians are a harder call. Remember, a ventriloquist has won AGT, but a magician has never made it into the finals. Could this be the year? There are several exceptional close-up magicians this year and I am torn:

Musicians and bands? Emil and Dariel are amazing, but I take umbrage at the judge's claims of originality and can't believe that none of them have seen a video of my Croatian hotties Luka and Stjepan of 2Cellos. Personally, I adore the adorable Wills Clan. They are a 21st Century American Von Trapp Family!

Dancers are an easy choice this season. Blue Journey took something we've seen plenty of (dance, shadows, projection) and did something completely new and amazing and totally deserved to be put through before "judgment week."

Kids acts (despite Season 1, when the show was still finding it's feet) don't generally win, though at least one (Jackie Evancho, anyone?) has gone on to a professional career. This year I am loving unassuming Broadway belter Mara Justine. I've never heard a white girl pull this off:

And my life-long love of circus and variety also has me torn between Valo and Bobby:



Or who I think will end up being my favorite until he's booted, the exceptionally adorable Christian Stoinev:

That body! That smile! That strength! That dog!

There are some serious contenders this year and I can't wait to be able to start voting. Do you watch AGT? Who is/are your favorite(s) this season? Oh, and if you haven't seen it, the photo above is from a brilliant prank AGT's producers and host Nick Cannon pulled off on judges, Howard Stern, Heidi Klum, Mel B and Howie Mandel:

I do so love this show, as much as I am loathe to admit it.

More, anon,
Prospero

The Hottest Str8 Ally You'll See This Week

Ben Cohen

Regular readers know how I feel about 'reality' shows, in general. I mean, I get it. Everyone loves a competition and if it's not sports than it's animals, cars, film, dance or whatever. As long as it's not 'Real' Housewives; fake mediums; drunken New Yorkers pretending to be from NJ or children's beauty pageants (among a few others), I can stomach a few moments here and there. And I readily admit to loving "America's Got Talent" (I'll miss watching that one with Mom, who also loved it).

Here in the U.S. we have a show called "Dancing with the Stars," a ballroom dance competition in which D, C and the occasional B-list 'celebrities' partner with professional dancers in a competition not unlike the thousands that go on world-wide, all the time. The first film in director Baz Luhrman's "Red Curtain Trilogy" deals with just just that subject in an Ugly Duckling turned Swan tale of love and dedication. His 1992 film Strictly Ballroom is exactly the kind of Romantic Comedy that proves Romantic Comedies don't have to be terrible:

If you've never seen it, you should. I adore it.

Now, I suppose some of you want to know what a gorgeous, retired rugby player has to do with any of that. Well, Great Britain's most famous Str8 Gay Ally has been competing this season on Britain's version of "Dancing with the Stars," "Strictly Come Dancing." The hot muscle-bear founder of  the anti-bullying Stand Up Foundation started out a bit stiff and scared, but has actually come along quite nicely. I'm not ashamed to admit I've been following his performances on line, mostly via Towleroad, which is where the below video comes from. I have been a fan of Mr. Cohen for a very long time  and while there are jokes about him never not being shirtless, he can be shirtless, pantsless and clothesless all he wants to be, as far as I am concerned. And to be honest, if I had his body, I'd be naked as often as possible! Enjoy:

More,anon.
Prospero

For the First Time, Ever

Kenichi Ebina

For the first time since I started watching my Reality TV guilty pleasure "America's Got Talent," my favorite act won. Japanese dancer Kenichi Ebina took the top prize of $1M and a stint as a Vegas headliner. 

Last Season, William Close was my favorite. The 'Earth Harpist' was fascinating to watch. A dog act won. The year before that, I didn't have a favorite. A former car wash attendant turned lounge crooner (albeit a very good one), won. 

Season 5 gave me my all-time favorite contestant. You know him, you love him. Madamen und Herren. Medames et Monsieurs. Ladies and... Gentlemen. Presenting His Majesty, Prince Poppycock:

Singer John Quale's alter-ego displayed not only Quale's prodigious vocal talent, but his genius in creating a truly memorable character. The winner was blues singer Michael Grimm. Who?

In Season 4, another opera singer, the lovely and talented Barbara Padilla was my favorite. Her audition was revelatory:

Barbara came in second to Country singer Kevin Skinner. Who?

But this year, my favorite was visionary Dancer/Mime/Choreographer/Gymnast/Contortionist Kenichi Ebina, who was consistently better and more creative with each performance. The self-taught, petite and gloriously elvish-looking performer beat out some very talented folks, including both my runner-up picks, opera trio 'Forte' (my mother's favorite, who will definitely have a career) and the adorable 17 year old magician, Collins Key (also likely to have an amazing career).

If you don't watch AGT (and Uncle P will think no less of you if not), see why Kenichi won this year:

I couldn't be happier for Kenichi Ebina. Congratulations to a truly brilliant and original performing artist who deserves to be seen and appreciated.

Gushing over.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Nonsense You'll See This Holiday Weekend

Yowza!

And a little more shameless self-promotion. But first:

Miley has nothing on another former Disney star who is turning up the sexual heat. That's Zac Efron (High School Musical) as a ripped fratboy in the upcoming movie Neighbors, which is about a couple of new parents (Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne) who are forced (huh?) to move next door to a college fraternity house. I knew (and even dated) some hot boys in college. None of them were this hot. Damn! The adorable young teen heartthrob has blossomed into a stone cold hottie, right before our eyes (and thankfully, the cameras). Of course, he now wants to be considered a 'serious' actor (Nicole Kidman peed on him, how much artier can one get?).  I don't know how much playing a college boy with an eight-pack in a raunchy comedy will do that for him. I just know he can come to my house and grill anything he wants. Hell, I'd even let him drink all my beer.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Listen, Uncle P may be old, but I'm not dead! There may be snow on the roof, etc., etc., etc... To be honest, I have no problem with my neighbors' whisperings. It's only because they're jealous. Better a 'Cougay' than taking a dirt nap, eh?

And speaking of gay (wow, what a segue), openly gay horse trainer, performer and Discovery Channel reality star Jake Nodar has a very gay new video out called "Applause Recap" in which he not only appears in his own take on Lady Gaga's latest single, but may well prove that one should never Gaga while driving:

For more from Nodar, you can visit his YouTube page, here.

I spent my day cooking an old, all-day recipe of my grandmother's, which I only make twice a year because it takes so long. And honestly, if you're going to do that much work, you might as well make a big-ass (16 Qt) batch. We'll have it at least three more times this week and the rest will be frozen in smaller batches for future consumption. And of course, it only gets better the longer it sits... and it was already pretty danged amazing... a childhood comfort food that will always remind me of family and unconditional love. I'm so glad this not among the recipes Grandmom B took to her grave.

Oh, and if you missed yesterday's Malaprop Mom post, you should check it out. Apparently, MM's biggest audiences are in Russia, Poland and Latvia! I can only assume they are reading it to improve their English. I hope it doesn't confuse them, instead. 

More, anon.
Prospero

From X-Men to X-Factor, AGT and Other Nonsense

Kenichi Ebina

Regular readers know that I have two "Reality Show" vices: NBC's "America's Got Talent" and SyFy's "Face-Off" (BTW - had "Face-Off" existed in the late 80's/early 90's, I totally would have been a contestant). The new season of "Face-Off" has just started, though AGT is about to go into their semi-finals.

And to be perfectly honest, I'm not digging AGT so much this year. First off, Heidi and Mel are great, but they are no Sharon Osbourne. Say what you will about Mrs. O, but she sure knows how to command an audience and I must admit that I love her brassy style. Heidi and Mel together serve as the Voices of Reason and seem to work well as both comedic 'straight men' to and buffers between Howard and Howie, though I often doubt their judgement (especially Heidi's) when it comes to talent. Klum comes from modelling (and has had her own successful contest show for years), though I have to ask what makes her qualified to judge dancers, singers, acrobats, musicians and variety acts? Former Spice Girl Mel B at least has some experience in the industry, as sketchy as it may be.

Still, it's not the judges that are the problem (at least not their chemistry). It's the acts the judges have put through this season. AGT is quickly becoming a 'Been There; Done That; Bought the T-Shirt and Returned It' show. If I see one more "Shadow Dancing" act, I'm going to throw up. Stop giving standing ovations to acts ripped off from other acts, please. They're boring. And stop giving guys who build Rube Goldberg machines spots instead of far more interesting and talented acts.

I am a fan of Forte, the operatic trio who met online (especially their gorgeous new member) and charismatic & adorable young magician Collins Key. And I would honestly be very pleased if either of them won. But now that they're about to start the Semi-Finals, I have a clear favorite: Japanese stunt dancer Kenichi Ebina. His audition was pretty astounding and he was pushed right through to New York without having to endure the Vegas call-backs. His first New York performance was truly brilliant. Combining prerecorded digital images with an astoundingly precise live performance, Ebina flawlessly immersed himself in a video game. Live. Onstage. Amazing. Watch. Watch Full Screen:

I must agree with all four judges. The man is astounding.

In other reality show news, a sweet and dear friend (K's older sister, actually) shared a clip from "X-Factor Australia" on Facebook today that just took my breath away. Remember the first time you saw Susan Boyle? 14 year old Jai Waetford puts that moment to shame:

I've never seen all the judges on any talent competition show lose their minds like Danni Minogue, Ronan Keating and LMFAO's Redfoo do there. I'm betting the actually talented (and graciously humble) Waetford has young girls all over the world asking "Justin who?" within the next year.

More, anon.

Prospero

Let's Play "Foodie, A-hole, Racist or Jerk!"

Eat This, Y'all

Wow. The Food Network continues to prove that their talent bookers have issues with vetting their stars. Their first scandal involved British chef Robert Irvine and his claims that he cooked for the Queen. That turned out to be a lie and Irvine was fired (though hired back again after he proved to be a fan favorite). Then 'Barefoot Contessa' star Ina Garten refused to cook with a cancer-stricken child whose Make-A-Wish wish was to do just that. Soon after, douchebag extraordinaire, Guy Fieri, was outed as a sexist, anti-Semitic, homophobic creep who can't look a woman in the eyes. And last week, photos of sexy British chef Nigella Lawson hit the web, being choked in public by her husband.

Today it was revealed that the network's most beloved star, butter-loving diabetic Paula Deen (pictured above) is a racist. Yup! During testimony in a civil trial, Deen admitted that she not only regularly uses the "N" word, but had actually hoped to plan a wedding using African-American wait staff pretending to be slaves! 

Holy crap! What the hell is wrong with the talent bookers at Food Network? They certainly don't seem to be doing a good job making sure their stars are worthy of stardom. If I were a Food Network exec, I'd be loosing my mind right about now. 

Can you imagine Julia Child embroiled in such a scandal? I know I can't. 

I have always had an issue with many of the people Americans venerate as "stars," especially in the age of so-called 'Reality TV.'  When chefs like Child; Friedman 'Chef Tell' Erhardt and Grahame Kerr made their marks on TV in the 70's, the world was a different place and any scandals in which they may have been involved (though I doubt there were any), weren't fodder for the Internet and anyone with a PC to see. They were about the food, and their quirky and delightful presentations.

Wanna be famous? Want adoring fans and tons of money for hosting a show or making public appearances? Then you better make sure you have nothing to hide. In the Information Age, everything is public and you'd better be prepared to face the consequences of your unsavory past. Or at least make sure that either your past isn't unsavory or be willing to embrace your unsavory past with grace and aplomb. 

Here's to your heart attack, y'all!

Let's not get into Deen's son Bobby and all the rumors about his sexuality (I'm no Perez Hilton) for now. I'm just asking that you be aware that the 'celebrity' you love, may not be the perfect person you might like to think he or she is.

More, anon.

Prospero

Sterotype Schmereotype

Seriously?

Word is, people started lining up in front of the Supreme Court Building Thursday evening in order to attend the arguments in both the DOMA and Prop 8 cases, next Tuesday and Wednesday. If I could afford to spend 6 nights camped out in unseasonably cold weather, it would be on vacation with a hot, fuzzy companion to help keep me warm while Aurora Borealis shone above our heated tent.

But seriously, the next week may well prove the turning point for Marriage Equality on a national level. It's truly conceivable that the United States may actually progress into the 21st Century and join the planet's other progressive Democracies and acknowledge that not only is sexuality innate, but that Civil Rights belong to everyone. 

There are of course, many in the U.S. who (because of fear, ignorance and superstitions passed down from their parents and clergy) believe that LGBTQ people are perverted, evil sinners who flaunt their sins and try to entice intrinsically straight people (especially children) into homosexuality. These folks (probably gay, themselves) use extreme examples to perpetrate the lies they espouse. Sure, hot guys in leather ride floats in Pride parades. But hot girls with big breasts serve wings in tight T-shirts and cut-offs at Hooters, too. 

But I digress. Long-time readers know of my disdain for so-called 'Reality TV.' Manipulative; sordid; soul-sucking drek, shows like "The Bachelor;" "Survivor;" "The Apprentice;" "The Jersey Shore" and their ilk, pander to the lowest common denominator and insult all of our intelligences by their very existence. Tabloid TV seems to have taken over, making TV programming far worse than it ever was.* Unfortunately, Canadian cable channel Slice ("... the juicy channel women have been waiting for.") has lowered the bar yet another notch with their newest 'Reality' show, "Golden Gays."

Yes, this is the image we want to project to the rest of the world. Woo-hoo! We survived the plague! Yeah! We wanna get it on! Wee-haa! Viagra! This kind of crap is exactly why the Rednecks, religious radicals and Repugnicans hate us. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't let your freak flag fly. By all means. I have no business telling anyone what to do, say, watch or participate in. I'm just saying that the sore thumb may get the most attention, but the other nine fingers end up doing all the work.

Yes, I know - this whole post comes off as an internal homophobic rant, but I swear it's really about the intentionally exaggerated circumstances created by the producers of these exceptionally horrid shows. And while I will happily admit to watching the Food Network's "Restaurant Impossible;" "Dinner Impossible" and "Chopped," those are more about my love of food than the sort of Schadenfreude in which most 'Reality' shows seem to revel.

More, anon.

Prospero

*Thankfully, scripted television has recently upped the ante with cable shows like "The Walking Dead;" "Breaking Bad;" "Dexter;" "Mad Men" and a few others.

A Very Sad 'Reality' TV Celebrity Meltdown

Soft Porn... er... "Reality'" star Tila Tequila

Regular readers know how I feel about most so-called "reality TV." Manipulated by writers and producers and edited to provide the most salacious content possible, it is about as far from reality as Grimm's Fairy Tales.

The increasingly stupid populace at large just eats this crap up, and since it's much cheaper to produce than scripted shows, the networks keep pumping it out, ad nauseum. I know what I know about reality shows mostly from reading entertainment blogs and watch "The Soup" on E!. The phenomenon only serves to produce temporary celebrities who will be forgotten as soon as they and their publicists have run out of ways to exploit them.

Tila "Tequila" Nguyen is a Eurasian Penthouse and Maxim model who became semi-famous because of her MTV 'reality' dating show "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." A self-proclaimed bisexual, Tila has gone on to be a singer in two bands; the owner of now defunct dating website and the 'fiancee' of the late Johnson & Johnson heiress, Casey Johnson, who passed away from diabetic ketoacidocis in 2009. In an infamous 2010 incident, Tila was pelted with rocks, bottles and feces while appearing as an opener at an Insane Clown Posse concert.In March of this year, she went into rehab after attempting suicide by overdosing on pills.

Since then, she's kept a pretty low profile - until recently. Apparently, artificial fame has proven too much for the poor thing and she has taken to posting videos on YouTube in which she claims the Illuminati are conspiring to kill her for exposing their secrets. Yes, you read that correctly. The Illuminati. You know, the super secret society (a purported left-over of the Knights Templar) who supposedly run the world by manipulating governments, corporations, banks and the Free Masons.

Man, I love a good conspiracy theory. I love it even more when it is espoused by an obviously insane semi-celebrity desperate to remain relevant and in the news. The video below is almost as funny as the ones posted by the folks who believe the world is being run by reptilian aliens. Except none of these folks are really funny. Just sad. So very, very sad. You can skip around the clip without really missing anything - none of it makes any sense at all.

And that's just one of two videos she's posted on the subject. It's a shame, because she's actually adorable and could have a real career as a performer if she got her act together. I just want to bring her home and give a good home-cooked meal, administer some much-needed thorazine and rock her to sleep. Or slap the silly beotch about 30 or 40 times until she comes to her senses. 

Wow - that may well be what I need to snap me out of my recent funk.

Call me, Tila. I can help you. All you need is a dose of real reality.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Trashiest Thing You'll See This Week

Hot Mess, Lorna Bliss

With the exception of "America's Got Talent," in which anyone of any age with any type of act can audition, I usually hate 'reality' talent shows like "Amerivan Idol;" "The X-Factor" and "The Voice." Sure, talent shows have been around for a very long time and occasionally they discover truly talented performers (Rosie O'Donnell; Kelly Clarkson; Jennifer Hudson; Adam Lambert) but usually they exploit completely untalented folks who are desperate for fame, at any cost.

Such is the subject of tonight's post, Britney Spears 'impersonator' Lorna Bliss. Bliss has previously appeared on "Britain's Got Talent" and (according to her) TV shows all over the world. Like so many other 'celebrities' who are famous for no particular reason (Paris Hilton; Kim Kardashian; Bethany What's-Her-Name), Bliss seems to think that fame will solve all her problems. Truly tragic.

Now, you may be asking why I'm writing about her, if I think she's so awful. And you're right. I do think she's awful. But I am posting about her because I want people to realize that this kind of fame is completely empty. 

Twenty years from now, no one will know her name. But 100 years from now, people will still be talking about Marie Curie; Rosa Parks and Michelle Obama. And that's because those women actually made a real difference in the world. 

Bliss' contribution? An embarrassing YouTube moment in which she not only humiliates herself but supports the continued objectification of women and will be around as long as the Internet exists, but also encourages other untalented fame whores to attempt equally or even more degrading acts of self-exploitation. How sad is that?

Below (via) is Bliss' humiliating "X-Factor" audition. Judge for yourselves:

Ugh! While I may want to leave my mark on the world, I hope that I would never stoop to this level.

More, anon.
Prospero

It's Baaa-aack!

Nick Cannon, Howard Stern, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel

When NBC announced that Howard Stern was going to replace Piers Morgan as a judge on "America's Got Talent," I nearly gave up on the one 'reality' show I do watch. Now in it's 7th season, AGT has brought us some amazing performers over the years, despite the seemingly revolving door of hosts (Regis Philbin, Jerry Springer and Nick Cannon) and judges (David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan, Howie Mandel and now Stern). 

Back in the '80's, when I listened to Stern's local New York broadcasts on FM radio, I often found him amusing. As he grew and went national, I started to find him rude and obnoxious. I never thought "Bababooie" was funny and thought Robin Quivers was little more than a "Yes Woman." By the time Stern moved on to satellite radio, I was completely over him. I was actually sort of angry that NBC thought he could succeed the sophisticated Morgan, who was often the only voice of reason among the show's judges, even if he was perceived as the 'mean' judge. Morgan's critiques, while sometimes harsh, were usually right.

So it was with trepidation that I finally watched the first four hours of auditions last night and tonight and I have to admit that I was wrong about Stern. Oh, he's still a pompous ass, but so far he has managed to be kind and compassionate judge, doling out his opinions without being cruel or derogatory (unlike Morgan, who was often downright mean to the hopeful wannabes). He even gave a second chance to one contestant, who (on his second attempt) proved to be an excellent operatic singer. I'm glad I continued to watch and even happier that Stern managed to change my mind about his ability to be subjective. 

It's also nice to see young Nick Cannon come into his own as the show's host. Personable, funny and adorable, Mr. Mariah Carey continues to prove himself a likeable host who can empathize with the contestants and their families while maintaining the often huge live audiences at the show's various audition venues. After over coming a bout with Lupus, Cannon is still professional, energetic and just silly enough to be likeable.

All that having been said, in the first four hours of auditions, only one act among those sent through to Vegas so far has caught my attention as a potential winner. There has yet to be a Barbara Padilla; Prince Poppycock; Jackie Evancho or Landau Murphy this season. But it's very early and there are many acts yet to be seen.

The one performer who did grab my attention, street dancer/contortionist Alonzo Jones (AKA 'Turf') has great potential. The opening moves at his audition were amazing and it appeared as though he was actually floating across the stage. The control and coordination required to make that happen are the result of the formerly homeless dancer's untiring dedication to his craft and he supplied the first real "Wow!" moment of the season so far:

Other highlights for me:

Speed-painter David Garibaldi and his CMYK dancers:



Father/Daughter team Maurice and Shanice Hayes:



Instrument designer William Close:

and Light Wire Theatre, who managed to take an act we've seen on AGT twice before and elevate it to another level:

Of course, there have already been some truly dreadful acts:

Personally, I'm still waiting for an act that both excites and inspires me as much as 2010 contestant Prince Poppycock:

I can't wait to see what the rest of this season's AGT has to bring us. It's vaudeville, burlesque, variety and theatre all rolled up into one insane and very entertaining show. If you aren't watching AGT, you are missing out on the summer's single most entertaining program. Whether it's a train wreck or a potential million-dollar act, AGT never fails to provide something to talk about at the water cooler.

More, anon.
Prospero

AGT: The Winner?

Like most fans of "America's Got Talent" I was hardly surprised that Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr. won the top spot tonight, His smooth, Sinatraesque vocals were a pleasant surprise at his first audition and his transformation from car-wash attendant to singing sensation was easily the most predictable among the dozens of contestants paraded before the judges this season. Landau is undoubtedly talented and deserved to win. The man has a velvet voice, a humbleness that is truly inspiring and a rags-to-riches story that rivals Cinderella's.

What shocked me was the Second Place winners; Silhouettes, a group of young dancers who stole their concept from professional dance troupe Pilobolus and pandered to the current wave of misguided right-wing jingoism in almost every routine they performed.

Feh! I don't understand how both the judges and the voters were fooled by these conceptual thieves. If I were Pilobolus, I would sue them for Intellectual Property infringement. There is no way that Silhouettes was better than the completely original and amazing Team iLuminate, who combined dance, light and computer technology to create often breathtaking images.

Wow! I would love to see this troupe perform live.

Of course, young underdogs POPLYFE gave it their all. And while lead singer Kehlani wasn't at her best during last night's Queen tribute, they proved themselves a force to be reckoned with in earlier performances featuring The Beatles and The Jackson 5.

I take consolation in knowing that Team iLuminate and POPLYFE both have great futures ahead of them in the entertainment industry. 

"America's Got Talent" is the only "reality" show that I watch. The acts are often horrible and occasionally brilliant. This season was the best yet and I have no shame in admitting that I love this show.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Most Disappointingly Gay Thing You'll See This Week

LOGO is the gay cable channel. They show plenty of (edited) LGBT films like All Over the Guy, Big Eden and Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss ad nauseum. They also air the occasionally hilarious "The Big Gay Sketch Show" and the often hilarious-for-all-the-wrong-reasons "RuPaul's Drag Race."

That, I suppose, is well and good. But LOGO also airs its own version of Bravo's "Real Housewives" series, "The A-List." This so-called "reality" series features a group of supposedly wealthy gym bunnies who have nothing better to do than sleep around and bitch about each other. A recent NYT article (via) ripped into the show for being shallow and vacant, a sentiment with which I wholeheartedly agree. I've never watched the show, but can tell from its promos (like most "reality" shows) that it is garbage. And even worse, "The A-List" is nothing but fodder for right-wing conservative loons who hate the LGBT community. See for yourself:

Really, LOGO? Why would you perpetuate this kind of nonsense? It's bad enough that the LGBT Community is the single most hated minority on the planet, but do you have to go and perpetuate all the reasons why? The men depicted on this program are so far outside of what the majority of gay men experience, I can't even put it into words. I just know that not one single person, gay or straight, in my social circle would want anything to do any of the men who so shamelessly exploit themselves in this manner. And shame on anyone who identifies themselves with these people. "The A-List" is the worst sort of television pandering and I am personally calling LOGO out for airing such trash. Personally, I prefer reruns of "Will and Grace" over this crap. At least "Will and Grace" was funny. "The A-List" is just pathetic...

More, anon.
Prospero

TV Review: Face Off

I hardly qualify as a "reality" TV fan. In fact, I know I've ranted about it here, more than once. I think shows like "The Bachelor/The Bachelorette;" "Survivor" and (certainly the worst offender of all time) "The Jersey Shore" are reprehensible and signs that Western Civilization as we know it is on its last legs. All that having been said, I do actually watch a few of the competition shows, mostly on The Food Network. I love the challenges given in the form of bizarre ingredients to the chefs on "Chopped" and find myself fascinated by the people on "Worst Cooks in America," mostly because I have been cooking since a rather young age and thanks to my mother and paternal grandmother, consider myself quite handy in the kitchen and am actually appalled by the lack of basic skills displayed by the contestants.

Now, Syfy (I still can't get used to that name) has entered the fray with "Face Off," a competition show for special effects makeup artists. Many years ago, Uncle P considered entering the field of SFX Makeup. My fascination with movie makeup started as child with the Universal Monster Classics. I grew up in awe of folks like Bud Westmore, Charles Pierce, Rick Baker and the legendary Tom Savini. All through college, I was the go-to guy for special makeups in shows like The Apple Tree; RUR and Ladies in Retirement. I did an independent study in Prosthetic Makeup (which required an excruciatingly difficult Anatomy class) and actually thought I might have a career in the field. Sadly, my sculptural skills were lacking and while I could draw a fairly decent representation of the effect I was going for and had (and still do have) some mad skills with a makeup brush, my hands just couldn't recreate in clay what they were able to draw in charcoal. Still, if I'm in or directing a a show which requires painted makeup effects, I'm the guy who ends up doing them. And that's OK.

So, I must admit admit to being quite jealous of the contestants on "Face Off." All of them have been working as professional FX artists on independent and/or major films and have some mad skills of their own, though a few are obviously more skilled and talented than the others. I've seen the first two episodes so far and have already decided on my favorites. Each episode features an Immunity Challenge and a Spotlight Challenge. The winner of the first challenge gets an automatic pass in the Spotlight Challenge, no matter how good or bad his or her work is. In the first episode, I immediately found myself disliking the lazy and undeservedly cocky Frank, who seems to want to do as little as possible and almost actually forfeited the challenge in Episode 2. Of course, I found the impossibly handsome Connor at the top of my list of favorites, along with the talented Anthony. Most of the contestants have multiple credits on IMDb; some on major films, though most on indie, straight-to-DVD schlock movies. 

The first episode's Spotlight Challenge involved turning a model into Human/Animal hybrid, while the second concerned full body painting on a nude model. Jerk Frank refused to paint his male model's front, placing a lampshade on his head to add insult to injury. Still, he survived the cut, though I don't imagine (or hope) he'll last to the end.

The Grand Prize winner will supposedly go on to a massive career in the SFX industry, though since the advent of CGI, special makeup effects aren't the booming industry they were in the 80's (yet another reason to be glad I didn't pursue that particular career path). And while it's quite easy to sit back in the comfort of my living room and judge the contestants' skills, I know it can't be easy for them to produce quality work week after week, especially given the time constraints imposed upon them. But I am very much enjoying watching them try. 

The show is ably hosted by Bud Westmore's granddaughter McKenzie and judged by three Oscar-winning Make Up Artists: Ve Neil; Glen Hetrick and Patirick Tatopuolis, and features a fourth specialty judge for each challenge. For a Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi geek with at least some insight into the industry, "Face Off" is a fun (if somewhat cheesy) peek inside the industry.

I hope the show continues to be the fascinating look into the creative process that it's been so far and I can't wait to see what happens when the contestants get into sculpting and molding  prosthetics. Or when the challenges (hopefully) become more subtle. Six episodes remain, though I think I have a good idea of who will win, already. "Face Off" airs Wednesdays at 10 PM Eastern on Syfy.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Have no fear, a Turkey Thursday post will follow. Rehearsals for It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play have put me off schedule a bit. And while it is officially Thursday, I haven't been to bed yet, so it's still Wednesday for me.

Anyway, yes that is a casket. And yes, it is covered in homoerotic art. Via Towleroad comes this bizarre final resting place from German designers Mike Konigsfeld and Tom Brandl. Says Konigsfeld, "People are cutting back in the recession but the one group of consumers who still have high spending power are gay couples and very few people are designing for them in this market." And I should imagine for good reason. Personally, every gay and/or straight man I know would be horrified by this tasteless thing, regardless of the images depicted. Sex and death may share a bizarre affinity for one another, but I don't know any sane person who would literally be caught dead in this box, or anything like it. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

And speaking of tacky, have you seen the latest "reality" series on Logo, "The A List?" A disgusting display of everything that middle America finds objectionable about gay people, "The A List" features wealthy, spoiled gay versions of every loathsome, stereotypical rich asshole depicted in shows like "The Hills." I hate them as straight people and hate them even more when they're gay.

If you watch "The A List," you should be ashamed of yourself (though only slightly more than if you watch any other so-called 'reality' show). Recently, Logo announced auditions for "The A List: L.A." and Current TV's hilarious LGBT commentator Bryan Safi took the show to task with his "audition" footage (also via):

Of course, no one should fault Bryan for spelling his name incorrectly... His parents are to blame for that.

More, very anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Friday

Well, thanks to many factors, there was plenty of LGBT news I missed out on reporting last month, so I suppose I'm making up for it tonight.

First, you've heard me mention 'my angel,' Matty many times. Matty is one of the most talented young actors I've ever had the privilege to direct. Matty has become a very dear friend and I  have become a mentor to him on many levels. He appeared in my production of The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told and was the Assistant Stage Manager for last summer's production of Sordid Lives. We both love Horror movies (and are seeing one together this coming Sunday); we both love the theatre and we are both writers. He's the son (in a totally non-creepy way, I promise) I never had and I love when I get to crow about his accomplishments. And crow, I shall.

Recently, Matty made headlines when he and his friend Bobby potentially broke the Guinness World Record for Longest Continuous Kiss. A student at the school where I studied Theatre (and where I 'discovered' him in a 24-hour play contest), Matty is true Force of Nature and I have no doubt he will go on to make quite a mark on the world. And part of that mark will be a new documentary called Our Lips Are Sealed, detailing the events surrounding his and Bobby's new record.

I am so very proud to know and be a friend of this remarkable young man.

In other Gayest news, its no secret that the adorable Darren Criss (pictured above and formerly of ABC's prematurely canceled "Eastwick") has been cast as Kurt's (Chris Colfer) boyfriend on Fox's megahit musical, "Glee." Thanks to Towleroad, here's the first clip of Criss singing in an all-boys high school choir and their (almost) acappella version of "Teenage Dream:"

Gay teens all over America are sighing in delight, right now.

And this past August, in another Gayest Thing post, I embedded the video for openly gay rapper Cazwell's song "Ice Cream Truck," which featured a series of NYC hotties grinding and licking ice-pops while Caz rapped about a hot boy he met in a school yard. Well, also via Towleroad, comes Philadelphia's version (for Bear-lovers and Chubby Chasers only):

Finally, Al Gore's Current TV has this to say about Reality TV Judges:

Make sure you check out tomorrow's Zombie Zone post, where I wax poetic about AMC's newest original series "The Walking Dead," among other zombie-related news. And stop back here on Sunday, where I'll be talking about the JTMF's first ever winter production, It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Uncle P is usually disdainful when it comes to so-called "reality TV," but my one guilty pleasure is NBC's "America's Got Talent." Anyone, of any age and with any talent can audition. Over the past 5 seasons it's been on, we've seen some pretty outrageous performances from some really outrageous performers.

Of course, none of them have been as nearly outrageous as the enormously talented Prince Poppycock (nee John Quale), who performs in over-the-top costumes and makeup. As regular readers know, Poppycock has been my favorite from his very first audition, when he performed an excerpt of "Largo al factotum" from The Barber of Seville. The openly gay performer is part opera singer, part actor and part performance artist. This week, he once again wowed the audience and the judges with his over-the-top performance:

Honestly, who else can go from Rossini to Verdi to Mercury to Cohan to Sousa, so outrageously and so entertainingly? Because I'm in rehearsal for Top Girls, I don't get to see AGT in real time and must rely on my DVR to watch it. But each time he performs, Poppycock reminds me of why I got into show business in the first place - to entertain. If he doesn't win, I'll be sorely disappointed. But I'll be glad to know that he certainly has a huge a career ahead of him. I can't wait to see the results from this week's voting - and if you already know, please don't spoil it for me. And if he does make it into the Top 4 (of which I have no doubt), take a few minutes and vote for him next week. Almost nothing would make me happier than to see him win. Seriously, wouldn't it be great to have an openly gay AGT winner?

From reality to fiction:

I recently discovered the upcoming TLA movie, Is It Just Me? A sort of gay version of Cyrano, the movie is about an average-looking guy who meets the man of his dreams online, using his hunky roommate's photo on his profile. Starring Nicholas Downs, cutie-pie David Loren and hunky Adam Huss, Is It Just Me? explores the differences between the guys who are looking to just hook up and those of us who are looking for "True Love,' whatever that means:

Maybe my idea for a gay adaptation of Aida isn't so crazy, after all. Hell, I might even convince Poppycock to play the title role...

Oh, crap! Okay, all you potential gay screenwriting rivals out there -- gay Aida was my idea first. No stealing, jerks! Love you! Mwah!

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Obviously, the cartoon on your right isn't exactly current, though it disturbs me (as it should you) that we're still having the same conversation 10 years after this cartoon was drawn.

I'm still gathering my thoughts on the recent events in California regarding Prop H8 and the many battles we have yet to face in a country where ignorance and bigotry are still the norm (and how sad is that?). I just want to know how, what is supposed to be the most advanced country in world is still having this debate. But why am asking you? If you're reading this blog, you're most likely on the right side, no matter what your sexual orientation might be.

So, before I go all nutso political on y'all, I thought I'd treat you to some music and dance. Gay music and dance, that is... Both of the clips below are via Towleroad, one of the most eclectic LGBT blogs on the web. Andy Towle and his team seem to find the most relevant and interesting topics of interest which include everything from news that directly impacts the LGBT community, to science, music, film, theatre, art and whatever else they think is noteworthy. Of course, sometimes Andy just lets go and posts something fun and sexy.

First up, the latest from openly gay rapper Cazwell, "Ice Cream Truck" (may be NSFW):

Obviously, Caz and his buddies are not buying from Mr. Softee... (and no, I will not apologize for that joke).

Next, something from "So You Think You Can Dance." Now, I am not a fan of most "reality" TV shows. I despise "Big Brother;" "The Bachelor/Bachelorette;" "Survivor" and almost everything on Bravo, MTV and VH1. My two exceptions (and guilty pleasures) are Kathy Griffin's "My Life on D-List" (so trashy, dirty and just downright funny) and "America's Got Talent." AGT appeals to me because it's open to anyone with any kind of "talent" and I was very pleased to see that my current favorite contestant, opera singer Prince Poppycock, moved on to the Semi-Finals this week. The man is not only very attractive, very gay and very talented, but his voice (much like Susan Boyle's) can bring me to tears (the good kind) and he's the first contestant in five seasons for whom I have actually felt compelled to vote (though I am still kicking myself for not voting for Barbara Padilla, last season).

Anyway, here's a very gay dance number from this week's episode of "SYTYCD:"

Neil Kent Travis @ Yahoo! Video

Hell, they might as well have done a full-on Apache Dance (also probably NSFW):



Okay - give me a minute to catch my breath... That's better.

Do you think they stuff?

Wow - I just blogged way out of my Public Comfort Zone (though well within my personal one). Another TMI moment from Yours Truly...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

First, I had a weird keyboard issue that made my PC crazy last night, and I didn't get to publish until I was at work today, using archaic versions of Windows and Explorer. I have since updated and added links to my last post about The Point, so check it out.

Second, I guess I'm a bit late in wishing everyone a Happy Pride Month, but June is far from over and there are plenty of events to attend, promote and just talk about.

Of course, if I can ask your indulgence yet once more, tickets are still vailabel for the JTMF Annual AIDS Fundraiser featuring Del Shores' Sordid Lives. What better way to celebrate Pride than to spend an evening laughing while helping several good causes?

And now on to tonight's post (it's about time!). Both of these clips are via Towleroad, and both are exceptionally positive. First, a remix of Katy Perry's 'California Gurls,' from Unicorn Brady, here is 'Washington Boys and California Gurls:'

Fun!

And by now you should know how I feel about most so-called 'reality' shows. Most of them revolve around people who are willing to stoop to almost anything for their 15 minutes. I will, however admit to a certain love of "America's Got Talent." Unlike "American Idol" (which has failed to generate more than one or two genuine stars), "AGT" is open to anyone, any age with any kind of talent. Often, "talent" is left open to interpretation and some folks are admittedly awful. Sometimes one is amazed and occasionally, one is stunned. I haven't seen this week's show (it's DVR'd), but when I saw this, I had no choice but to share. I am both amazed and stunned. Ladies and germs, I give you Prince Poppycock:

Holy crap! If he's smart, Poppycock (AKA John) will do something really outre by Philip Glass or an aria from The Fly. Oh, how I have grown to love summer TV! When "The Closer" comes back, I'll be a very, very happy TV zombie.

I'm tired... the show is getting closer and I am growing madder...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

How could I resist? That's gorgeous gay "Torchwood" star John Barrowman (whom I sometimes refer to as "Mark Harmon Light") showing off his "banana eating" skills in London the other day (via). The same site also posted similar (though less intentionally obvious) pics of one-time hottie Vince Vaughn eating an ice-cream cone and a hot dog. Seems like the good folks at D-Listed have some sort of food obsession...

Of course, were I to meet Barrowman in person, I might be tempted to... no, never mind. Not gonna go there. Put those images out of your head, right this very minute! This isn't that kind of blog (usually).

Still, I'm a major "Torchwood" fan and can't see how Russell Davies is going to resurrect the team, after the end of the last mini-series. Since Barrowman's omnisexual Captain Jack Harkness character is immortal, and almost every member of his team is or has been in love with him at one time or another, I can only hope Jack will call on his good friend Dr. Who to find some resolution to the problem. For you non-geeks out there, "Dr. Who" is a BBC program about an immortal "Time Lord" that started as a cheesy children's Sci-Fi show in the '50's and has evolved into a rather good (or so I'm told) adult Sci-Fi program, resurrected by "Queer As Folk" creator Davies in the Aughts. "Torchwood" is a spin-off of "Dr. Who" (a show I still haven't managed to get into), about a group of government-sanctioned folks (known as the Torchwood Institute) who are charged with with watching over a temporal rift in Cardiff, Wales. The rift allows aliens, alternate universe beings and other supernatural creatures access to the "real" world. It is Torchwood's job to keep this creatures at bay, keeping the rest of us safe from the anarchy their existence might cause.

Anyway, the openly gay (and married) Barrowman is one of the Beeb's hottest stars, and I can't imagine them just abandoning one of their hottest properties without at least a resolution, if not a complete final season. Here's a brief clip:

Whew! Anyway.... Across the Pond, here in the States:

I am not a Reality TV fan. Never have been, never will. I suppose its the writer in me that objects to these shows, which are hardly "reality," in even the broadest sense of the term. Among the worst of the genre is the daytime "Judge" show. You know what I'm talking about. They started with "The People's Court." People agree to let their small-claims cases to be broadcast while a retired judge gets to decide the outcome. I triuy hate these shows and the people who go on them, airing their sometimes very dirty laundry for all the world to see. And I have to ask myself what kind of self-respecting judge would actually take part. in such a circus. Though I must admit that not only do I know someone who went on "Judge Judy," I admire Judge Judy's candor and use of common sense when presiding over the often ridiculous cases set before her.

Today (via) I came across this clip from a show called "Judge Mathis." I hadn't seen this particular program before, but after watching the clip below, I have to say that I have a new-found respect for Judge Mathis, who isn't afraid to say what he thinks about coming out, being gay and what's what.

All I can say is, we're getting closer, gang. Some day, sexual orientation will be a non-issue and we'll finally be able to get on with what really matters.

More, anon.
Prospero