Review: "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes"

I really liked Rupert Wyatt's 2011 re-boot Rise of the Planet of the Apes and was very much looking forward to its sequel Dawn of te Planet of the Apes. 

It's 10 years after the events of Rise and the so-called Simian Flu (a result of the virus used to introduce the drug that made the apes smart) has wiped out most of the human population.  The apes, living in a wooden village in the Redwoods, haven't seen one in the last two years and their leader, Caesar (Andy Serkis) assumes they are all dead. After his son, Blue Eyes (adorable Nick Thurston) is attacked by a bear while the tribe is hunting deer, Caesar warns him to think before acting. Soon, Blue Eyes and his young friend Ash come upon Carver (Kirk Acevedo of "Fringe") who shoots Ash and brings the entire village down on them. It turns out that Carver is part of a team sent to restart a hydroelectric dam in the mountains to restore power to San Francisco, which only has a few weeks of fuel left before the few residents are plunged back into post-apocalyptic chaos. Jason Clarke (Zero Dark Thirty; The Great Gatsby) is Malcolm, who decides to appeal to the apes' intelligence and ask for permission to repair the generator. Along with his wife Ellie (Keri Russell) and son Alexander (Let Me In's Kodi Smit-McPhee) and several others, they make their way and plead their case to Caesar, who agrees to let them try, provided they give up their weapons. Caesar's right-hand Koba (Toby Kebbell) and father to Ash, doesn't trust the humans and after finding Carver hid a gun among his things, heads into San Fran with a team, where they discover the humans' huge weapons cache. Koba advocates attack, though Caesar doesn't want a war, just to be left alone. Gary Oldman is along as the human group's leader who turns out to be a bit over-zealous.

Matt Reeves (Let Me In) directs the effects-laden movie well, enough I suppose. And the cast is outstanding, particularly Sirkus and the rest of the 'apes' who give astonishing motion-capture performances (Sirkus seems to be a pioneer in the field, despite earlier attempts from actors like Tom Hanks and Jim Carrey in films that fail to make their human characters anything but dead-eyed and creepy). The real stars of the film are the effects and the cinematography. We opted for the 2D version and it was still spectacular to look at. Shot on location in the Redwood Forest, there is never any doubt that the apes swinging through the trees are actually doing just that (imagine the opposite of the terrible monkey sequence in Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). 

Sadly, what Dawn... has in effects and performances, it sorely lacks in script. Borrowing from any number of better films including The Lion King (right down to the leader's nemesis having a prominent scar across the left side of his face), it seems cobbled together rather hastily and actually (to me, anyway) dragged at times (though Q didn't think so). Dale and I were mostly entertained while K (as usual) had issues with the noise levels and the themes of Man's (and Ape's) Inhumanity. Unfortunately, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes was not THE summer movie I hoped it would be, despite its rather amazing FX work. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is rated PG13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, and brief strong language."

Oh, well. There's still plenty I want to see this summer, including director Luc Besson's (The Professional; The Fifth Element) take on the Superhero movie, Lucy, which despite having a flawed concept, looks awfully fun!

More, anon.
Prospero

Jurassic Pork

Chicken Flavour?

Jurassic Park IV has been rumored for so long, I had begun to think it wouldn't and probably shouldn't happen. Remember back in 2007 when it was announced that the movie was being cast and would feature dinosaurs with guns? That makes about as much sense as Chicken Flavoured Vegetarian Ham (and whatever the hell that is, keep it as far away from me as possible, please and thank you!).

Now, as much as I liked the original movie and hate both of it's even more ridiculous sequels (OK - I'll admit that I laughed when the Japanese tourists were running from the T-Rex in JP2), the idea of a third sequel never really sat well with me. In fact, most sequels (with a few exceptions), remakes and reboots (again, with a few exceptions) never really sit well with me. I've always been interested in original films with original ideas and find most such films to be lazy attempts to cash in on something that has already proven to be successful. Ever see The Sting II or Superman IV? How about Bewitched, The Dukes of Hazard or The Stepford Wives? Ugh!

That's not to say that all such films are terrible. But for every The Italian Job or The Fly, there's a Godzilla, The Wolfman or The Wicker Man taking big, smelly dumps on the originals. 

Indiewire is now reporting that Universal Pictures has scheduled Jurassic Park IV for release in June of 2014 (of course, they're also reporting that a script has been commissioned for the completely unnecessary Pirates of the Caribbean V, but I digress). The real news in this story is that the latest script for Jurassic Park IV has been written by Rick Jaffa and Amanda Silver, the writers behind the very entertaining Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which revived the franchise that was nearly destroyed by Tim Burton's 2001 remake starring Mark Wahlberg. I can only imagine that if anyone can revive the late Sci-Fi writer Michael Chrichton's vision, it's these two.

Still - I can only wonder where they might take the story and must offer up a few ideas of my own.:

1. Jurassic Park IV: Dinos on the Run. Knowing they are feared and despised by the public at large, the dinosaurs go on the lam, hiding in seedy motels under bad pseudonyms like 'John Dodecasaurus' and 'Tommy Rex.' Pursued by a team of government agents led by Leonardo DiCaprio, they soon find themselves lost in world of alcohol, drugs and loose women. Directed by Gary Sherman and starring Wings Hauser as John.

2. Jurassic Park IV: Night of the Giant Iguana. A former priest leads a group of aging women on a tour of Isla Nublar and learns a valuable lesson about his life's failure before being eaten by a pack of hungry velociraptors. Starring Hugh Jackman, Dame Judi Dench, Dame Helen Mirren and Dame Maggie Smith. Directed by Danny Boyle.

3. Jurassic Park IV: Rise of the Iguanadons. When an evil dinosaur threatens to take over the world, it's up to a team of Europasuruses to stop her from turning the world into a frozen wasteland. Animated. With the voice talents of Jude Law, Isla Fisher, Alec Baldwin and Fran Drescher as the Iguanadon. Directed by Don Bluth and produced by Peter Jackson and Guillermo del Toro.

4. Jurassic Park IV: Lost in Pangaea. A lonely Allosuarus pines for a simpler time when 80's New Wave music ruled the airwaves and size 127 Chucks were available in hot pink. When she's married off to the Rex of Pangaea, Allie realizes how empty her life is and willingly submits to death by meteor. Starring Parker Posey, Steve Carrell, Bill Murray and Kirsten Dunst as Allie. Directed by Sophia Coppola and Christopher Guest.

5. Jurassic Park IV: We Just Don't Care Anymore. Dinosaurs kill everyone and destroy everything. Starring Matthew Broderick; Pierce Brosnan; Helen Hunt; Hank Azaria; Betty White; Ed Asner; Pam Grier; Samuel L. Jackson; Sid Haig; Anne Heche; Woody Harrelson; Jake Gyllenhaal; Harvey Fierstein; Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and the corpse of Charleton Heston. Directed by Roland Emmerich and Seth MacFarland.

Spielberg's original Jurassic Park is scheduled for a 20th Anniversary (HOLY CRAP!) 3D IMAX re-release later this year. I only hope that Jaffa and Silver have been able to come up with a script worthy of their Apes re-boot that is as excitingly entertaining as David Keopp's adaptation of Chrichton's novel.

More, anon.
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Turkey Thursday on Saturday: Shark Bait

Seriously?

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is this coming Thursday and I've only done one Turkey of the Week post. I'm blaming Sandy, which screwed things up for so many of us in the Central Atlantic states these past few weeks. Thankfully, Uncle P received an unexpectedly expedient (say that 3 times, fast) check from my homeowner's insurance and I was able to start restocking my empty fridge and freezers today with the largest grocery order I've purchased in a very long time. I know there are folks within driving distance who don't even have a fridge to fill, so I am exceptionally grateful that I do. I urge you to continue to provide support to the American Red Cross and other local charities who are helping those most in need. Food, baby formula and warm clothing are still desperately needed by thousands affected by the storm.

Now I'll hope you'll allow me a moment or two of levity. Last night, Uncle P posted about my personal Top Ten Spielberg films, among them: Jaws. Universal made three sequels to Jaws, none of which included Spielberg and each of which is more ridiculous than the one before. Jaws II was okay at best, while Jaws 3D was just plain silly, despite the presence of the hotness known as Dennis Quaid as the adult Micheal Brody. Most egregious of all, 1987's Jaws: The Revenge delves very deep into the waters of ridiculousness, appearing on more "Worst Movie Ever Made" lists than anything directed by Ed Wood, Jr.

Convinced that her husband's fatal heart-attack was prompted by his fear of sharks, Ellen Brody (Lorraine Gary) knows that the shark which quickly kills her son Sean has a personal vendetta against her family and flies Micheal (now played by the decidedly less-hot Lance Guest) and his family to the Bahamas in an attempt to escape it (though why she doesn't go somewhere land-locked like Kansas, remains a mystery). Pilot 'Hoagie' ( Oscar winner Michael Caine) and his pal Jake (Mario Van Peebles) also happen to be marine biologists (?) who decide to track the shark (which has apparently followed Ellen from NY to the Bahamas) with a device that monitors its heartbeat. Ellen has flashbacks to events she didn't witness, while experiencing some sort of psychic connection to the shark that wants to eat her family because her husband killed it's brother or father or something. Eventually, Ellen decides to sacrifice herself to the shark to save Michael and his family, but Hoagie and Jake save her by impaling the Great White on the prow of the their boat, after driving it crazy with electrical impulses from the device they attached to its heart. What? Yes. That's really what happens in this epic PoS sequel to one of the best movies ever made. Most of those involved in the making of Jaws: The Revenge disavow it as the garbage it is. In full disclosure, Gary was married to the head of Universal at the time. I hope she has divorced him, since.

Here's what the late Gene Siskel and the now-silent Roger Ebert had to say about the movie upon its release:

More, anon.
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Pulling the Wig Down from the Shelf Again

John Cameron Mitchell as 'Hedwig'

After Jeffrey, I was feeling a little down. I'd had some potentially bad news about someone for whom I care very much; I had no theatrical projects on the immediate horizon; I had gained back a few of the 16 pounds I'd lost doing Hairspray and I was about to turn another year older with little to show for it. 

So I went looking for something to lift my spirits a bit and ended up listening to the soundtrack to the movie version of John Cameron Mitchell's Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I never got to see the original  stage production, but I absolutely adored the movie (which I reviewed for PhillyOut.com). There is something about Hedwig's eternal optimism despite her many setbacks that is inspiring, to say the least. I loved every one of Stephen Trask's songs (especially "The Origin of Love"); was overjoyed to see the amazingly talented Andrea Martin as Hedwig's manager; adored Mitchell's performance and became of fan of the massively underrated Miriam Shor (late of ABC's ridiculous soap "GCB" and CBS's aborted summer sizzler "Swingtown") all at the same time. I am, by the way, determined to direct a production of Hedwig... someday.

Anyway, Kevin Sessums (author of "A Southern Sissy") has blogged that Mitchell and Trask are currently hard at work on a stage sequel! Talk about synchronicity. Mitchell, who also wrote and directed the sexually explicit Shortbus, is quoted as saying about the new show, “We spend so much of our early lives trying to figure out who we really are... And we spend the rest of our lives preparing ourselves to let it go.” Personally, I can't wait to see what's happened to Hedwig since we last saw her. Hopefully, the stage sequel will warrant a film sequel, as well.

Here are few of my favorite numbers from the movie (watch for Shor in stubbled male drag):

Long live Hedwig!


More, anon.
Prospero

Why Does This Movie Rate a Sequel?

Wow! What a week! Top Girls has proven a great success (if I do say so, myself) and while I am really tired right now, I am also aware I've been neglecting the Revenge... But all is well in Uncle P's world, so back to whatever passes for normalcy, I guess.

So last October, millions of idiots (many of whose thoughts on film I usually respect) were duped into thinking Paranormal Activity was actually a scary movie. I still have no idea why. 

Boring, predictable and derivative, Paranormal Activity made millions and convinced otherwise sane film goers that it was really scary. Number One on my "Worst Movies of 2009," (my original review can be read here), the $11,000 movie made enough money to prompt distributor Paramount to commission a sequel, written by the original writer/director Oren Pelli. Directing duties

are handled this time by Tod Williams (The Adventures of Sebastian Cole), so perhaps the pacing problems of the first film are resolved here, but I still have my doubts.

Somehow, I think the joke poster above is closer to what we'll get than an actually scary movie. Pelli is once again the screenwriter, and I have my doubts that his skills have improved. And Katie Featherston apparently returns as the only credited actor in this grab for more unsophisticated film goers' dollars. This time, I think I'll wait until Paranormal Activity 2 is available On Demand (which should be sometime in December). In case you're actually interested, here's the trailer, which involves a dog and baby who casts no reflection (?):

'Shocktober' is only a few days away, kiddies and Uncle P is preparing 31 posts on his favorite Horror Movie Directors, so stay tuned. Until then, expect more gayness, more horror and more nonsense, as usual.

More, anon.

Prospero

Tron-tastic?

There's a whole lot of buzz at ComicCon over Disney's sequel to their 1982 computer-game movie Tron, Tron Legacy.

Here's the thing: What I most remember about Tron was that seeing it in a theatre gave me a headache. Honestly. I don't know if it was the effects, the plot or the acting. I just know that I had a horrible headache and I was actually nauseous for several hours afterwards.

As with most of Disney's live-action movies, Tron Legacy will be in digital 3-D, which I can only imagine will serve to heighten the headache-nausea factor. Add that to an implausibly stupid plot and you have one puke-tastic movie.

Now I know there are many fans of the original movie out there. And I have seen it several times on TV without experiencing the same effects. But I can't help but wonder if the sequel will induce the same reaction as the original did, 27 years ago (Oh God - I am really showing my age, aren't I?).

In any event, this teaser trailer for the new movie was just released. I'll leave you to form your own opinions. And Tron lovers, please don't inundate me with hate mail - I just calls 'em as I sees as I sees 'em. Here's' the trailer (via):

In other news, from the London Daily Mail comes this bizarre and rather sad tid-bit about Michael Jackson's nose. Is it me, or have we become way too obsessed with celebrities and their all-too-human frailties? I think if we all spent more time thinking about our own lives and how we impact the lives of others, we wouldn't care about whether Jacko had a prosthetic nose or how many African orphans Angelina and Madonna adopt.

More, anon.

Prospero

My Favorite Superhero Movies

As a kid, I adored the cheesy, campy "Batman" TV show. My mother says I spent much of my childhood with a towel tied around my neck and I was Batman for Halloween four years in a row. As I grew older and discovered the Bob Kane comics, I became fascinated with Batman's duality, which then extended into the duality inherent in almost all superheroes and their "seceret" identities.

Superhero movies have been around for almost as long as movies themselves, but they really didn't come into their own until film technology caught up to their super powers in the late 70's with Richard Donner's Superman: The Movie. Since then, they've gotten better and better, though my love of them has never gone away. Below is a list (in no particular order) of my favorite superhero movies. I do have to note that I find it interesting that with one exception, they are all sequels. I suppose origin stories are important, though what really matters are the adventures themselves, which probably makes for much better story-telling.

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Spider Man 2 (2004)

Cult director Sam Raimi (The Evil Dead; Darkman) turned up the excitement in his first follow-up to Spider Man by introducing one of Spidey's best villains, Dr. Octopus, while making Peter Parker a conflicted (and exhausted) young superhero being torn in too many directions at once. Great performances from a terrific cast (especially Alfred Molina as Doc Ock) and one of the most exciting runaway train sequences ever, make Spider Man 2 one of the best superhero movies, ever.

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Batman Returns (1992)

Director Tim Burton's follow-up to his megahit re-imagining of Batman is the best of the 80's & 90's Batman movies. It has terrififc performances from Danny Devito as a grotesque Penguin and Michelle Pfieffer as a super sexy Catwoman, the always brilliant Christopher Walken as retailing mogul Max Shreck (in a nod to the actor who played Count Orlock in the original Nosferatu), not to mention some of the best noirish images since the 40's. A terrific cast, amazing visuals and a witty script from Daniel Waters all add up to one fun movie ride.

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Superman II (1980)

Director Richard Lester infamously took over for Richard Donner in this sequel after Donner fueded with producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind. Donner had already shot most of the movie, using a script by novelist Mario Puzo (The Godfather). Superman, realizing he loves Lois Lane, gives up his powers to spend the rest of his life with her, but when a trio of crazed Kryptonian criminals escape their prison in the Phantom Zone, threatening Peace, Justice and the American Way, Supe must find a way to get his powers back and save the world. Stars Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder have never looked more gorgeous and the amazing Terence Stamp (Priscilla, Queen of the Desert) makes for one of the genre's greatest super villains.

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Blade II (2002)

Blade is one of the comics' first major black superheroes, and as embodied by Wesley Snipes in the first movie, a badass half-vampire/half human intent on avenging his mother's death (and his own creation) at the hands of the vampire Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorf). Snipes is all too grim and all too serious in the original, but in the hands of a genius director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labrynth), Blade comes into his own in the stylish sequel. Recruited by the vampire elite to fight a new breed of vampire led by the blood-thirsty Nomak (Luke Goss), Blade must reconcile his hatred of vampires with his love for one of their royals, Princess Nyssa (Leonor Varela). It's darker, bloodier and more exciting than both the original and it's rather lame follow-up, Blade: Trinity.

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X2: X-Men Unite (2003)

After cutting his teeth on the overblown and often confusing X-Men, director Bryan Singer got down to business and made what, at the time, was the best superhero movie ever. Many members of the LGBT community credit the openly gay Singer for drawing parallels between themselves and the persecuted mutants of the X-Men comics. Starring hunk-a-licious Hugh Jackman in a role he seems saddled with until he loses his looks; sultry Famke Janssen; Patrick Stewart; Halle Berry; Sir Ian McKellan and a slew of terrific supporting players, X2 is an exciting and inspiring entry into the genre.

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Iron Man (2008)

Marvel Studios' first fully financed film takes one of their minor characters and elevates him to superstar status, thanks to dircetor Jon Favreau (Elf; Zathura) and a simply terrific performance from super-talented Robert Downey, Jr. in the title role. Downey's zillionaire Tony Stark is a concieted and arrogant creep who learns his lesson when captured in the desert by middle eastern terrorists and forced to build a superweapon. Instead, he builds a super suit and thus is born a superhero. Funny, exciting and loaded with terrific CGI FX, Iron Man was one of three outstanding superhero movies of the past summer.

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Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Del Toro's sequel to Hellboy is simply a visual orgy whose gorgeous images can only really be appreciated upon multiple viewings. When Elf Prince Nuada (Luke Goss, again) decides to take back the Earth from mankind by ressurecting the unstoppable, automatonic Golden Army, it is up to Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his team to save mankind. Perlman, who has spent most of his acting career under layers of latex (TV's "Beauty and the Beast"), gives his best performance as the superhero most people hate - and whose destiny is to bring about Armageddon - while the supporting cast (Selma Blair, Doug Jones and the always hilarious Jeffrey Tambor) just add to the fun. Simply amazing.

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The Dark Knight (2008)

How much more can be written and/or discussed about Christopher Nolan's masterpiece? His follow-up to the astoundingly good Batman Begins is quite simply the best superhero movie ever (though many expect Zack Snyder's forthcoming Watchmen to snatch that title away, come next March). Part crime-thriller; part noir mystery and all superhero adventure, The Dark Knight owes much of its success to the astonishing performance of the late Heath Ledger as the Joker. It is the the third of this past summer's three great superhero movies, and the first in the genre to stand a legitimate chance at winning Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director (Nolan) and Best Supporting Actor (Ledger). Should it win any (or all) of these awards, it would be a coup for the genre and a victory for fanboys everywhere. Quite simply an astonishing achievement in filmmaking, no matter what the genre.

More of this, anon.

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