Why "Selma" Won't Win

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"Racism is dead in America." ~ Anne Coulter.

By now you should know how I feel about Awards shows in general. Admittedly, I'll watch the Oscars this year, just to see NPH (loved his lunacy on "American Horror Story" this season). Like most Americans, I have seen very few of the nominated movies. I've seen Boyhood (which I didn't care for enough to even bother reviewing) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (which I did review and honestly wanted to like more than I did). With the exception of Birdman, I honestly have no interested in seeing the other nominated films. Not that you shouldn't see them or that they shouldn't be seen. And while I guess if was a professional critic, I would have seen them all, but probably grumbled about seeing more than one. Oddly, the rest of the nominees are all biopics... American Sniper; The Imitation Game; The Theory of Everything; Whiplash and Selma are all real-life stories. Fictionalized, of course, for dramatic interest. 

But it is Selma in particular, which seems to have generated the most controversy. First, it was reported that the movie was historically inaccurate and portrays Lyndon Johnson as opposed Dr. King's march in Alabama and the Voting Rights Act. And then the Oscar nominations came out. And while Selma is nominated for Best Picture, not one of its cast were nominated. In fact, not a single person of color was nominated in any performance category. Not a single Black, Latino, Asian or multiracial person on the list! No Inuit; Pacific Islanders; Native Americans; Maori or Aboriginals, either. That's just... I mean, how does a film get nominated for Best Picture, without a single nomination for any actor that's in it or the director who made it? One might also ask how The Color Purple didn't win a single one of its 11 nominations. Or why Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash. Oh, wait, wasn't Crash about racism? Sure, but in a really awful, hit-you-over-the-head way that went way out it's way to prove a point. Plus, it didn't have any icky man-on-man kissing. 

Hollywood, that supposed bastion of liberal hedonism, is racist, sexist and homophobic. Now, I know I'm not saying anything new here. But the Oakland Tribune headline up on the right just put it so succinctly and hilariously, that I had to comment, especially when the country is about to enjoy a three-day weekend in celebration of Dr. King's birthday. It's like the Academy voters are saying "We like the idea of civil rights; we just don't like the people who are asking for them."

Selma doesn't have a chance of winning Best Picture on February 22nd. Because the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. 

For what it's worth, here are the trailers for this year's Best Picture nominees:

















So, I guess... Yay, White People!? Ugh! Oh, and by the way... F*ck You, Anne Coulter!

Uncle P used to participate in a charitable event every MLK weekend as my Day of Service, but they and I parted ways a while ago and I focused my volunteering on the JTMF. Of course, JTMF is all but dead (only our Facebook page remains), though a last gasp may be at hand with a project I'll be talking about (and directing again!) soon.

If you are lucky enough to be off, enjoy your holiday. Don't feel obligated to do a Day of Service because it's MLK Day. You should always fee obligated to do service whenever you can. But if you need a special day for it, so be it. 

More anon,
Prospero

A Day Late and a Dollar Short: An Oscars Post-Mortem

Nipple with a Z

I didn't get to the movies last year nearly as much as I wanted and usually do. A lot of that had to do with Mom's declining health and passing. Much of it had to do with the fact that there was very little to get excited about, this year. The only Best Picture nominee I saw was Gravity, and while it was the best movie Uncle P saw all year, that's not saying much. And honestly, I had little interest in seeing the other nominees. That's not saying they weren't excellent films, but I don't always want a life-lesson when I see a movie. I just want to be transported from reality for 90 to 120 minutes, forgetting about the problems of the real world for just a little while. Of course, the really great movies, IMHO, are the ones that can do both. Pan's Labyrinth springs to mind. I'm sure that 12 Years a Slave is a very good film. I just don't want to spend two hours watching another person suffer.

Of course, most people watching the Oscars feel the same way. It isn't about who or what wins or why. It's about the accompanying sideshow. Who wore or said or did what? What outrageous thing happened that's trending on Twitter. Travolta said what? Did Ellen just call Liza a tranny? Are Liza's nips really that huge? Did you see Kim Novak's face? Ellen ordered pizza? How wacky! 

And in what is both the funniest and saddest moment of this year's Overblown Ego-fest, Scientologist and alleged masseur molester John Travolta forever cemented his 'Oscars Fail' when he introduced Broadway star Idina Menzel as "Adele Dazeem." 

Is it any wonder poor Ms Menzel botched her performance of a song every little girl (and some big girls and boys) knows by heart after listening to the Frozen soundtrack for the 12,367th time? No pressure there, eh? Pink, however, managed to not only show up in a gorgeous red-sequined gown that was deliberately reminiscent of Dorothy's ruby slippers, but then fearlessly took on an iconic song which she managed to own! Brava!

Then there's the obsession with the celebrities' fashions. First, why didn't Lorna Luft tell her sister to wear a bra? Everyone else looked nice, I suppose. I wondered if Cate Blanchet's dress was designed by Tesla, though I thought Idina Menzel, Lupita Nyong'o and Camila Alves looked particularly stunning. Jared Leto's hair bothered some folks I know. I was just pleased that he finally acknowledged all the people living with and who have died from AIDS, unlike co-star Matthew McConaughey, who rambled on like the weirdo he appears to be. No one was surprised by Gravity grabbing all the technical awards, or by Frozen winning both awards for which it was nominated (I must admit. "Let It Go" has become a personal anthem, of late). 

Mostly, as for the past too many years, there wasn't a single surprise or upset. I didn't do a predictions post this year, but I should have. We all would have won our office pools had I done so. When the Oscars are that predictable, it's time to stop watching. 

Though there were a few things I liked:

Maybe I'm just too old and jaded to care anymore. As a life-long movie lover, that makes me kind of sad...

More, anon.

Prospero

Big 5 Oscar Picks

Oops! Wrong Oscar!

So, between my mother's most recent health scare and my exhaustion thanks to dealing with it, I really haven't posted much this week. But since tomorrow brings us the 85th Annual Academy Awards, I thought I should at least post my annual picks. 

While I won't apologize for making a joke about Oscar Pistorius, I won't judge him until I hear all the facts (unlike Casey Anthony; Jodi Arias and Drew Peterson). But that's not what tonight's post is about.

Tonight is about the impending Oscars and my picks for the 5 Big Awards (and a few others). As always, I'll be listing What Will Win; What Should Win and the Long Shot. And as always, I'll be asking you not to place any bets based on my picks, because I am never 100% accurate (though I did manage to get most of last year's Big 5 right, if I remember correctly -- and weren't too lazy to go back and look). 

So, without further ado, here are my picks:

Best Actor (Supporting Role):

Who Should Win -- Robert Di Niro in Silver Linings Playbook. Giving his least affected performance in years, Di Niro is simply excellent.

Who Will Win -- Alan Arkin in Argo. Arkin has been around a long time and will win for his body of work.

Long Shot -- Philip Seymour Hoffman in The Master. A simply astonishing performance from one of America's best living actors.

Best Actress (Supporting Role):

Who Should Win -- Sally Field in Lincoln. We really liked her a long time ago. Despite being all wrong as Aunt May in The Amazing Spider-Man, Field is more than just 'good' as Mary Todd Lincoln in Spielberg's biopic.

Who Will Win -- Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables. Her performance, while brief, was the best part of Tom Hooper's misguided adaptation of the stage hit.

Long Shot -- Jacki Weaver in Silver Linings Playbook. Who? The Australian star is completely unknown in the U.S. and very unlikely to win.

Best Actor:

Who Should Win -- Denzel Washington in Flight. Washington was nothing less than amazing as an alcoholic pilot who lands a plane and saves it's passengers against all odds.

Who Will Win -- Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln. Did anyone doubt they were watching the real Lincoln?

Long Shot -- Bradley Cooper in Silver Linings Playbook. Cooper is still young with many great roles ahead of him.

Best Actress:

Who Should Win -- Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook. Lawrence just gets better and better with each film she makes and she shines here.

Who Will Win -- Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty. As the woman who found Bin Laden, Chastain more than makes up for her performance in the ridiculous Mama.

Long Shot -- Quvenzhane Wallis in Beasts of the Southern Wild. No child has ever won in this category, despite the 9 year old's brilliant performance.

Best Director:

Who Should Win -- Ang Lee for Life of Pi. Lee won for 2005's Brokeback Mountain, but his singular visual style in Life of Pi (despite the movie's 'spiritual' message) and the performance he gets out of young Suraj Sharma certainly warrant acknowledgement. 

Who Will Win -- Steven Spielberg for Lincoln. Having won for Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan, Spielberg seems to do well with historical drama. 

Long Shot -- Behn Zeitlin for Beasts of the Southern Wild. First-time nominees rarely win in this category, no matter how wonderful their films are.

Best Picture:

What Should Win -- Argo. Ben Affleck's dramatization of the 1980 rescue of 6 hostages in Iran is a thrilling and entertaining version of a daring rescue in a very uncertain time in history.

What Will Win -- Argo. Do you really think any other movie has a chance?

Long Shot(s) -- Les Miserables/Amour -- Tom Hooper's tepid musical and Michael Haneke's tale of love among octogenarians both face uphill battles against several much better films.

Other Winners:

Animated Feature:  ParaNorman: The first animated film to feature an openly gay character, director Chris Butler's stop-motion horror comedy may well turn out to be the first animated film in a long time to beat Pixar.

Cinematography: Life of Pi. Quite simply the most gorgeously filmed movie of 2012.

Animated Short: Head Over Heels

Original Song: Hands down - Adele's 'Skyfall' from Skyfall. 

Visual Effects: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Costumes: Anna Karenina

Makeup and Hairstyling: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Original Screenplay: Moonrise Kingdom

Adapted Screenplay: Argo

I'll talk about the awards again, after I've turned them off in boredom half-way through - though I do have high hopes that the adorable host Seth MacFarlane will be amazing enough to keep me watching.

And just as a side note, last November I occupied a 4th row seat in the Dolby Theatre for Cirque du Soliel's Iris. I wonder what celebrity will be planting his or her butt where I planted mine.

More, anon.
Prospero

More Oscar Animation

Nom-Nom-Nom-Nom-Nom-Nom!

As promised, I went and took a look at the remaining Oscar-nominated Animated Shorts and was truly delighted by what I found. Story seemed to be key this year, though clever and voiceless had their place, as well. I've already shared Head Over Heels and the trailer for Disney's CGI/Hand Animation combo, Paperman. I haven't seen The Simpsons: The Longest Daycare (in which Maggie spends a day at the Ayn Rand School for Tots), though I believe Fox is planning on airing it this coming Sunday. 

That leaves Adam and Dog, a sweet mythology about the first man's first best friend:

And Fresh Guacamole, an absurd little stop-motion cooking lesson, of sorts:

And in case you missed it, here's the full version of Paperman:

While I do have a favorite of the four, I'll wait to name it until I've seen The Longest Daycare.

Which of these is your favorite?

More, anon.
Prospero 

Head Over Heels

The older I get, the less I care about entertainment awards shows. When I was a kid, there were only five: The Oscars; The Tonys; The Emmys; The Grammies and sometimes The Golden Globes. It was a big deal when Rita Moreno became the first person ever to win the all of the Big Four. Then came MTV and it all went haywire.  Of course, it still seems to me that awarding prizes for art is just silly. How does one maintain objectivity in such a subjective field? But since we do so award arts and entertainment, and since I'd like to consider myself to be primarily an 'Entertainment' blogger, I guess I should at least comment on them, no?

The Grammys were tonight, hosted by hot rapper/actor LL Cool J. The bastard step-child of awards shows, no one really cares about the Grammy awards anymore (if they ever really did). The general decline in the quality of popular music in the last 30 years makes me sound like my parents complaining about music in the 80's. Of course, we knew enough to appreciate how what came before influenced those who were popular at the time. Today's popular music is boring, repetitive and unoriginal crap. This year's Grammy broadcaster CBS issued a much-reported dress-code memo to invited attendees. I honestly can't wait to see the response.

The Oscars finish the season in a few weeks, and while I've seen several of the nominated films, I haven't seen enough of any of them to make any sort of truly informed opinion,. Curiously, I have now seen two of the films nominated in the Best Animated Short category. The first is from Disney, combining traditional hand-animation with CGI for the sweet and romantic Paperman:

Also nominated is Head Over Heels, a striking stop-motion film about a middle-aged couple who are separated by so much more than just gravity.

I know there is a live-action Sci-Fi-Romance coming out with a similar idea, though I doubt it will have the same emotional impact and commentary as that surprisingly delightful short. I think I need to seek out the other nominees in this category. I'll let you know what I find.

More, anon,
Prospero

Awards Season Nonsense

Golden Globe Hosts Tina Fey and Amy Pohler

I don't know if it's age-induced cynicism, bitterness or just an increasing awareness about what's really important in life, but I have come to loathe the entertainment Awards Season and the shows which present said awards.

It honestly seems ridiculous to me to offer up awards for any art form, especially since art is so very subjective. I may love a film; TV show; play; musical; painting; song; album; composition;  sculpture or installation that you absolutely detest. Or vice-versa. You might find something uproariously funny while I find it repulsively disgusting. I may be moved to tears by a poem or novel, while you simply shrug your shoulders and say "Huh?" No one else I know is as fascinated by Dali's "The Discovery of America by Christopher Columbus" as I am. And that's as it should be. Art (and one's response to it) may be one of the few truly individual things we have.

Here's a very personal example: Dear D's favorite actor is Sylvester Stallone and his favorite movie of all-time is Rocky. I have no favorite actor (really, how can one?) and my favorite film of all-time is Bringing Up Baby. If I did have a 'favorite actor,' I can assure you it wouldn't be Stallone. That doesn't mean Stallone hasn't been in some highly entertaining films. It also doesn't mean that every film he's been in, has been bad. Or even that the bad film's in which he's appeared weren't entertaining. Demolition Man is by no means be 'high art,' but I was amused and entertained by it (though, unlike D, I don't have 3 seashells in my bathroom - no matter how hilarious I may find it). 

Awarding folks for their achievements is hardly new. And while I wouldn't be opposed to winning an award of any kind, I imagine that winning a Nobel or Pulitzer or even an Olympic medal would mean much more to me than a Golden Globe, Critics' Choice or Academy Award. While awards shows may be just as entertaining to some folks as great art is to others, to me they are just ego-inflating parties thrown by and for rich people who have nothing better to do than pat one another on the back.

Oh, and for famous LGBT people to publicly come out (via):

Sorry for the bad audio. It's what they had.

More. anon.
Prospero

On the Merits of Community Theatre

A rehearsal still from my 2008 production of The Skin of Our Teeth

The Antoinette Perry (or 'Tony') Awards are wrapping up as I write this post. I did not watch them, nor have I for a long time. I don't watch them because Broadway is completely irrelevant to the vast majority of Americans, especially those who love the theatre. Excuse me, The Theatre. 

Yes, Broadway can be wonderful. I've seen some amazing shows on Broadway. I was in the audience for the final performance of the full original cast of Kiss of the Spiderwoman (amazing, by the way). I first saw one of my favorite comedies about theatre, Noises Off, on Broadway. I sat in the second row, in the seat next to where the character Sally Simpson would eventually join the audience in The Who's Tommy. I've seen the original casts of Pippin; Timbuktu; The Wiz; The Mystery of Edwin Drood; Hurly Burly; Victor/Victoria; Wicked; Xanadu; Rent; Aida; The Goat, or Who is Sylvia? and dozens more plays and musicals. I've seen Broadway revivals of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof; West Side Story; Candide; A Midsummer Night's Dream; Richard III;  and many more. But how many of us have access to Broadway, especially at today's ticket prices? A top-tier musical can cost $150 or more. That's not including transportation to New York, parking and a meal. Add taxes and tips, and an evening on Broadway can easily cost several hundred bucks. These days, I can barely afford a movie ticket, let alone a ticket to a major Broadway show.

What's the alternative? Well, you might be lucky enough to live in a city where the traveling company of a show might play (still exorbitant). But most likely, if you love the theatre, you're going to see your local community theatres' shows. And that's a good thing. For every professional regional company (whose prices can be almost as out of reach as Broadway), there are probably 10 community theatre companies who charge less than $20 a ticket. And many of them do truly terrific work. Case in point: This past Friday I saw an absolutely delightful and expertly-executed community theatre production of The Drowsy Chaperone. The cast was excellent across the board, the direction was dead-on and the production values were rather spectacular. Yes, of course there are plenty of truly awful community theatre companies out there. But there are also plenty of truly awful professional theatre companies, as well. Trust me, I've seen (and even been party to) some truly wretched 'professional' shows.

Having done my share of both professional and community theatre, I have to say, I much prefer the latter. People who perform, direct and otherwise create for community theatre do what they do because they truly love the theatre. That's not to say that professionals don't love what they do but professional theatre is a profit-driven business. The cast and crew may love what they do, but their primary goal is to make money. Community theatre companies are mostly non-profit organizations whose sole intent is to provide entertainment for the community at large and allow creative outlets for local actors, designers, technicians and craftspeople. Whether they do it well or not, doesn't really matter (though a job well-done is always better than the alternative). The fact that they do it at all, makes it worth doing.

I started this blog almost four years ago in an attempt to document the process of putting on a community theatre production of The Skin of Our Teeth for Shakespeare '70 and the Thornton Wilder Society's first annual conference at The College of New Jersey in 2008. My 'Steampunk' inspired concept for the show was embraced by both the company and the conference attendees, which only served to validate not only my own artistic sensibilities, but led credence to the existence and artistic value of community theatre in general. 

Here's the thing: If you live in or near New York and can afford to see Broadway shows, by all means, do so. Many shows have lotteries for folks who can't afford the regular ticket price and discounted tickets are always available at the TKTS booths at Duffy Square and Battery Park (which is how I could afford many of the shows I've seen on Broadway). If you don't live near or in Manhattan, I urge you to please support your local theatre companies. They have just as much passion, drive and artistic integrity as the companies who have millions to spend and you can see original and differing interpretations of so many plays and musicals.

Remember - Art Can't Hurt You.

More, anon.
Prospero

Super Bore Part Deux

So once again we were 'treated' to a boring and predictable Oscar broadcast in which the only surprise was Meryl Streep winning Best Actress for The Iron Lady. Billy Crystal did his best, I suppose, though the aging comedian was a rather safe choice to host. For the record, I didn't hate last year's hosts (Anne Hathaway and James Franco) as much as some people did. And I always hate "safe." I loved the "Focus Group" bit about The Wizard of Oz, starring Bob Balaban; Christopher Guest; Eugene Levy; Fred Willard; Catherine O'Hara and Jennifer Coolidge.

Even the appearance by my obsession, Cirque du Soleil (which promised 'original music' by Danny Elfman) was a disappointment. Too short and using music recycled from Iris (the show in permanent residence at the Kodak Theatre), it just didn't have the "Wow Factor" I've come to expect from them. 

Yes, Christopher Plummer gave a very amusing acceptance speech, though both Martin Scorcese and his amazing film Hugo, were robbed of the awards they deserved. 

I gave up on the show about 2/3 of the way through (as usual); went on Facebook and visited my usual sites; then came here to post my thoughts about the very safe and rather boring (as it has been for the last 20 years) Oscars telecast. 

The red carpet was interesting, at least, Gwyneth Paltrow looked amazing in that white cape, while Michelle Williams looked ridiculous in a very silly dress people seemed to adore for some reason. And while Jennifer Lopez' left nipple seemed to want to escape the confines of her dress, Angelina Jolie was stunning, as always (though I wish Brad Pitt would show up with washed hair, for once). 

Honestly, I miss the Oscars of old, where streakers ran across the stage and fake Native Americans declined awards on behalf of pretentious fading stars while young up-and-comers tied with aging biddies for Best Actress. 

Or maybe I'm just too old and jaded to care anymore...

More, anon.

Prospero

The Most Irrelevant of Irrelevancies

Most of you know how I feel about Awards shows in general, so it should be no surprise that I really hate the Grammys. 

And please excuse me while I go into "Old Guy Ranting" mode here, but the majority of popular music today is just plain crap. Oh, don't get me wrong - there are exceptions. I adore Adele and I am thrilled that she won Album of the Year; Record of the Year; Song of the Year, etc., etc. I can also appreciate a good dance beat (LMFAO or Lady Gaga, anyone?) and no one loves a great ballad like I do. And Best Musical Theatre Album for The Book Of Mormon? Yes! 

Betty White added another award to her showcase for Best Spoken Word Album. Really, who doesn't love America's Grandmother? I know I do. But Best Score for Visual Media to The King's Speech? Did no one listen to Howard Shore's magical score for Hugo? And honestly, no one really cares about Best Country Album; Best Instrumental Arrangement for Accompanying Vocalist(s) or Best Regional Roots Music Album. Well, maybe those nominated care. Still...

Music has always played an important part in my life. Dad was a classical music fan, while Mom loves Elvis and old school Country. I grew listening to Wagner; Orbison; Mozart; Presley; Beethoven; Nelson; Sibelius; Cline; Verdi and Parton. In high school, I listened to Disco and Musical Theatre and discovered the true genius of the Beatles in college, while dancing to the B-52's; Sinead O'Connor; X; Siouxsie and the Banshees and any number of 80's bands. But my true love always has been (and always will be) Film Scores. I know I've mentioned that the majority of my music collection is made up of Film Scores. I suppose I love them because the composers are very deliberately trying to evoke an emotional response and when they succeed in doing so, it just makes me happy.

But back to the Grammys. The only Awards Show with more categories than the Oscars, the Grammys are also the most superfluous. Music is probably the most subjective art form around, and while I like to think my musical taste is eclectic, many would consider it 'weird.' Of course, many people consider me weird, so what do I know? I just think it is so silly to give awards for any art, end even more so for music. One man's noise is another's symphony.

More, anon.
Prospero

Oscar Predictions

Coincidence? Yeah. Probably.

I'm actually disappointed in the number of films I've seen this year. Busy, lazy and broke, I spent my ticket money only on films I really wanted to see. Sadly, not all of them were good. 

And while this list is early for me (I usually wait until just before the actual awards ceremony), I thought I might as well get it out of the way. As usual, please do not place any bets based on my predictions, though I think many of my picks are pretty safe. I'm not going to talk about Best Documentary or Best Sound Editing. I will cover the big Baker's Dozen.

So, let's get started, shall we?

Best Original Screenplay:

What I Want to Win: Bridesmaids, because I love Kristin Wiig.

What Will Win: Midnight in Paris, because it's Allen's best movie in years.

Upset: The Artist, because everyone just loves this movie

Long Shot: A Seperation, because no one has seen it.

Best Adapted Screenplay:

What I Want to Win: Hugo, because I loved this movie and it is very close to the book.

What Will Win: The Descendants, because it's going to win lots of other awards, too.

Upset: Moneyball, because it's the underdog.

Long Shot: Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, because it's a remake.

Best Original Score:

What I Want to Win: Hugo, because it's Howard Shore's best score since The Fly.

What Will Win: Warhorse, because the Academy loves them some John Williams.

Upset: The Artist, because many folks think Bource simply stole from other composers.

Long Shot: The Adventures of Tintin, because it's animated.

Best Art Direction:

 

What I Want to Win: Hugo, because it's just gorgeously designed.

What Will Win: Hugo, see above.

Upset: The Artist, because black and white is so forgiving.

Long Shot: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, because it's a Harry Potter movie.

Best Cinematography:

What I Want to Win: Hugo, because Robert Richardson's camera used 3D to create a very real world.

What Will Win: Hugo, see above.

Upset: The Tree of Life, because of that amazing opening sequence.

Long Shot: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, because it's essentially a horror movie.

Best Costume Design:

What I Want to Win:  Hugo, because Sandy Powell's costumes were simply gorgeous.

What Will Win: Hugo, see above.

Upset: Jane Eyre, because folks love the classics.

Long Shot: Anonymous, because people hate Shakespeare haters.

Best Director:

Who I Want to Win: Martin Scorcese for Hugo, because he put so much of himself into the film.

Who Will Win: Martin Scorcese for Hugo, because he deserves it.

Upset: Michel Hazanavicious for The Artist, because he took a major chance.

Long Shot: Terrence Malick for Tree of Life, because no one really understood it.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

Who I Want to Win: Christopher Plummer for Beginners, because he was fearless.

Who Will Win: Christopher Plummer for Beginners, because he deserves it.

Upset: Nick Nolte for Warrior, because everyone loves a comeback.

Long Shot: Jonah Hill for Moneyball, because he's just a kid.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Who I Want to Win: Melissa McCarthy for Bridesmaids, because she was fearless.

Who Will Win: Octavia Spencer for The Help, because she's had so many thankless roles before.

Upset:  Jessica Chastain for The Help, because she's just a kid.

Long Shot: Janet McTeer for Albert Nobbs, because she also plays a woman pretending to be a man.

Best Actor in a Leading Role:

Who I Want to Win: George Clooney for The Descendants, because this is his year.

Who Will Win: George Clonney for The Descendants, see above

Upset: Jean Dujardin for The Artist, because he doesn't speak at all.

Long Shot: Demian Bichir for A Better Life, because who?

Best Actress in a Leading Role:

Who I Want to Win: Glenn Close for Albert Nobbs, because she has yet to win. 
Who Will Win: Viola Davis for The Help. Because she deserves to win.
Upset: Michelle Williams for My Week with Marilyn, because she has a long career ahead of her.
Long Shot: Rooney Mara for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, because she's a complete newcomer.

Best Picture:

What I Want to Win: Hugo, because it's a movie made just for me.

What Will Win: The Artist, because people love this movie.

Upset: The Help, because it's actually not a very good movie.

Long Shot: The Tree of Life, because so many people actively hated its obtuseness.

So there you have it. Again, please don't use my predictions to pick your Oscar pool choices. Besides, I really couldn't care less who or what wins. Tomorrow I'll be posting about who and what I thought were snubbed.

More, anon.
Prospero

 

Golden Slumber

So, the 69th Annual Golden Globe Awards have come and gone. After a promising opening monologue in which host Ricky Gervais claimed he was going to flaunt the rules set for him by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, the show quickly devolved in the usual yawn-fest that most awards shows usually devolve into.

The evening's first award went to Hollywood legend Christopher Plummer for Beginners, a film I have not seen but which I understand is quite good. It's about a man who comes out to his son after his wife's death, only to also reveal that he's dying of cancer. It's exactly the kind of role that wins actors awards. Plummer, of course, is neither gay nor dying of cancer. So let's award him for pretending to be so. I have known plenty of gay men who have died from some horrible disease or other, yet I see no awards on their family's mantels. 

Next was Laura Dern for "Enlightened," a cable show I have never seen. In fact, most of the night's TV winners were for cable shows I have never seen. Idris Elba; Kate Winslet; Peter Dinklage; Kelsey Grammer and Matt LeBlanc all won for shows that air on premium cable channels which many people have never seen. There were a few surprises. Jessica Lange won a well-deserved award for her over-the-top performance on the decidedly deranged "American Horror Story" and Martin Scorcese won an equally well-deserved award as Best Director for the amazing Hugo (though I will never understand how the film made by the 'Best Director' doesn't win 'Best Film'). 

When I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth), Hollywood Awards shows had a glamor that seems sorely missing today. Can you imagine Elizabeth Taylor or Audrey Hepburn showing up in a gown that revealed their tattoos (not that either of them had any), as Angelina Jolie (among others) did? No. If Joan Crawford had shown up wearing a single driving glove (as the pretentious and grammatically incorrect Madonna did), she would have been laughed off the red carpet.

OK - I know that fashion has evolved. I also know that that tattoos have long-lost the stigma they once had - Hell, I have three of my own. But mine can easily be hidden under the cover of a fashionable tux, should the occasion arise. 30 years ago, Johnny Depp would have washed his hair; Brad Pitt and Jake Gillenhaal would have shaved and Robert Downey, Jr. wouldn't have acknowledged the father that gave him marijuana when he was child.

Maybe I just miss the days when stars were stars; winners were gracious and deserving; ladies & gentlemen looked like ladies & gentlemen and awards actually went to those who deserved them (Pia Zadora notwithstanding). Or maybe I've just turned into a crotchety old man. 

Either way, tonight's show was one big bore, which I turned off halfway to watch a DVR'd episode of "A Gifted Man."

More, anon.
Prospero

I'm Nominated

I am almost embarrassed to post this, though a friend said "Uncle P, if you don't promote yourself, who will?" So, here's an almost embarrassing shameless self-promotion post.

After more than 30 years in theatre, I have been nominated for a local theatre award as "Best Director of a Play" for last December's JTMF production of It's a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play. The production itself has also been nominated for "Best Production of a Play." I honestly don't expect to win.

My producer and I are also acting as presenters at the ceremony next Saturday. We're presenting "Best Supporting Actress in a Play." I have no idea what I'm going to wear. I haven't owned a suit in at least 20 years (and I'm not about to lay out the money for one, just for this). I may find myself at the mall on Saturday afternoon, desperately looking for something that will either cause a stir or keep me from looking like a total ass. I haven't decided. Of course, I already have plenty of basic black.

Voting has closed. I deliberately waited to post this until had, so don't think you're going to go and stack the deck in my favor. Nominations are limited to shows produced at the Kelsey Theatre, a venue used by a dozen or so local companies, most of which have many more fans than the JTMF, so neither Tracy nor myself have high expectations. We'll go, have some fun and celebrate the achievements of other folks we know and (sometimes) love. I know Tracy already expects me to do most of the talking when we present (she hates to even be interviewed, so I can't imagine she'll be up for talking in front a crowd) and that's fine with me. I tend to be at my best extempore. I'll probably make her read the nominees, though.

In case you missed it in December, here's a snippet of the nominated show:



It worked a lot better, live. And we had our best audiences, ever. We're doing a similar thing this December with A Christmas Carol, a show in which I'll be performing, as well as directing. The last time I tried that was a 1998 production of Romeo and Juliet, in which I played Friar Laurence. Afterward, I swore I'd never act in a show I directed again. Never say 'never,' as they say.

More, anon.
Prospero

Thpppppppp!

Once again, I've given up on the Oscars just before the big three... frankly, because I doubt there will be any surprises - and yes, IMDb has just informed me that Natalie Portman won for Black Swan. Not that she didn't deserve it - because she was astounding in that movie. But it's all become so predictable. Where are the surprising upsets? Ann Hathaway and James Franco were sure pretty hosts, but they weren't very exciting. Oh look - James came out dressed as Marilyn. Soooo funny!

The awards I really care about were given out last night, anyway. The Golden Raspberry Awards, or The Razzies, were awarded last night in a ceremony attended by bad movie lovers and no celebs, unlike last year when Sandra Bullock showed up to accept her award or the year Halle Berry graciously accepted for Catwoman. I imagine this year's winners were either too embarrassed by (and rightfully so) or completely oblivious to, their nominations. If it's the latter, that's a shame, because they probably think their work was pretty good (or at least, acceptable). Of course, I loves me some bad movies, but I have to admit that the Razzie winners this year were all pretty unwatchable.

And those winners were:

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel: Sex and the City 2

Worst Screenplay: M. Knight Shyamalan for The Last Airbender

Worst Screen Couple/Screen Ensemble: The entire cast of Sex and the City 2

Worst Eye-Gouging Misuse of 3D (new this year): The Last Airbender

Worst Supporting Actress: Jessica Alba for The Killer Inside Me; Little Fockers; Machete and  
                                             Valentine's Day.

Worst Supporting Actor: Jackson Rathbone (grandson of the immortal Basil) for The Last Airbender &  
                                         The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Worst Actress: A 4-Way Tie! Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon for
                         Sex and the City 2.

Worst Actor: Ashton Kutcher for Killers and Valentine's Day.

Worst Director: M. Knight Shyamalon for The Last Airbender.

Worst Picture:

So there you have it, the worst of the worst in American films for 2010. I do hope you clicked all the links. They're all different and some of them (I think) are rather amusing. And while I've just learned that The King's Speech has won for Best Picture, I'm much happier knowing that The Last Airbender won for Worst.

More, anon.

Prospero

Why the Golden Globes Don't Matter

Tonight saw the 68th Annual Hollywood Foreign Press Association's Golden Globe Awards, which supposedly honor the best in both movies and television. Since they are the first awards given during "award season," many people consider them to be indicators of how the AMPAS voters will choose the winners of the Oscars. To which I say:  Feh!

Why do I say this? Two words: Pia Zadora. Yes, Pia Zadora. Does anyone remember her? Way back in 1982, Pia won a Golden Globe as Most Promising Newcomer (an award which is no longer given, by the way) for her work in the truly awful Southern potboiler Butterfly. A true stinker of a film, Butterfly  is basically about the incestuous relationship between an Arizona farmer (Stacy Keach) and his daughter (Zadora). A wretched train wreck of a film, co-starring Orson Welles as a bellicose judge, Butterfly had yet to be screened by anyone when Zadora won her award. It turned out that her husband Meshulam Riklis (who was 31 years older than she was when they married), actually paid members of the HFPA to vote for her. The scandal nearly scuttled the Golden Globes for good.

So tonight, while I watched the first two hours of this year's Golden Globes (mostly to see just how catty host Ricky Gervais would be), I couldn't help but think of Pia Zadora and her completely undeserved award. And of course, Gervais delivered the goods, taking jibes at certain Scientologists not in attendance and the most recent scandal involving tickets to Cher's show in Vegas.

Still doubting? Then take a gander at Zadora's "Award-Winning" performance:

Zadora would go on to be in the film adaptation of Harold Robbins' The Lonely Lady and later make a hilarious appearance as a beatnik artist in John Waters' 1998 Hairspray. She also had a small role in The Naked Gun 33 1/3, but has since gone on to be a rather minor footnote in Entertainment History. I should also point out that as a child, she appeared in the horrendous Santa Claus Conquers The Martians, though the hilarious folks at MST3K have already skewered that movie - My favorite line? "Pills for breakfast? What are we, Judy Garland?"

So, while favorites like "Glee," The King's Speech and The Social Network may have won Golden Globes tonight, I'll wait until the real awards are given out later this year.

More, anon.
Prospero.

The Ariel Awards

Before I start tonight's post, I just wanted to let everyone know that Mom was released from the hospital this afternoon and should be fine, as long she eats when she's supposed to. A nutritionist is scheduled to give her a weekly meal plan and you can make sure I'll be hounding her. Thanks again to everyone to expressed their concerns and sent their good wishes both here and on Facebook. You guys are the best!

Anyway - on with tonight's post.

With the Academy Awards just two weeks away, I thought it was time Uncle P started his own movie awards. While no one is likely to pick them up in person, and that statue of Ariel (the "tricksey spirit" from The Tempest, NOT the Disney cartoon mermaid) is far too big to carry in real-life, its still fun to pretend. And isn't that what the movies are all about, anyway?

So without further ado (or rather with Much Ado About Nothing), here are the winners of The First Annual Caliban's Revenge Ariel Awards:

Best Digital Performance

The Nominees:

Billy Crudup in Watchmen
Zoe Saldana in Avatar
Jason Cope in District 9
Jim Carrey in A Christmas Carol

And the Ariel goes to:

Jason Cope in District 9. While he also played a human character, Cope stood in for almost every "Prawn" in the movie, helping to make ugly, insectoid aliens sympathetic creatures who we came to came more about than most of the humans in the picture.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Jordan Ladd in Grace
Alison Lohman in Drag Me to Hell
Lorna Raver in Drag Me to Hell
Isabelle Fuhrman in Orphan
Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body

And the Ariel goes to:

Jordan Ladd in Grace. As the obsessive mother who wills her dead baby back to life, only to discover little Grace has become a vampire, Ladd gives the kind of performance most actresses would kill for. Intense and completely believable, Ladd's Madelaine is a woman trying to hold on to her sanity amidst insane circumstances.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Adam Brody in Jennifer's Body
Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell
Woody Harrelson in Zombieland
James Marsden in The Box
Micah Sloat in Paranormal Activity

And the Ariel goes to:

Justin Long in Drag Me to Hell. Long started his film career in the underrated Jeepers Creepers, but is probably best known at the Mac in Apple's Mac vs. PC commercials. He was also the nerdy computer geek in Live Free or Die Hard. But just take a look at his face in the last shot of Drag Me... and you'll know just how good an actor he can be.

Best Horror Movie

The Nominees:

Drag Me to Hell
Trick 'r Treat
Grace
Zombieland
Orphan

And the Ariel goes to:

Trick 'r Treat. This was a close call, and Drag Me to Hell almost won, but Trick 'r Treat was just so much more fun... Officially released in 2008, Michael Dougherty's Halloween anthology didn't see wide distribution until this year's DVD release. Funny, smart, original and actually scary, Trick 'r Treat is the kind of movie I hope to write, someday.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zachary Quinto in Star Trek
Karl Urban in Star Trek
Sharlto Copely in District 9
Sam Rockwell in Moon
Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

It's a tie! Jackie Earle Haley in Watchmen and Sharlto Copely in District 9. Former child star Haley is brilliant as the dysfunctional superhero Rorschach in Zack Snyder's adaptation of the supposedly "unfilmable" graphic novel, while Copely makes a stunning acting debut as the dorky cubicle nerd who suddenly finds himself the victim of circumstances beyond his control in Neill Blomkamp's brilliant feature debut. Two performances worth seeing again.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek
Sigourney Weaver in Avatar
Rose Byrne in Knowing
Patricia Clarkson in Phoebe in Wonderland
Carla Cugino in Watchmen

And the Ariel goes to:

Zoe Saldana in Star Trek. As Communications Officer Nyota Uhoru, Saldana is both smart and sexy, imbuing the role with a sassyness Nichelle Nichols never could have imagined.

Best Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

District 9
Watchmen
Star Trek
Surrogates
Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

Moon. Duncan Jones' debut film harkens back to the great Sci-Fi of the early 70's, proving that Science Fiction doesn't have to be about explosions, lasers and robots to be both stunning and effective. Sam Rockwell's briliant performance combined with Nathan Parker's smart screenplay make for a powerful, quiet film about what it means to be human in an age when humanity has come to mean less than it should.

Best Director of a Horror, Fantasy and/or Sci-Fi Movie

The Nominees:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek
Sam Raimi for Drag Me to Hell
Michael Dougherty for Trick 'r Treat
Neill Blomkamp for District 9
Duncan Jones for Moon

And the Ariel goes to:

J.J. Abrams for Star Trek. Making a new version (or "reboot") of a classic is never an easy task, but Abrams film manages to be both original and faithful to its source material - something both fans and critics were ready to rip apart, but were unable to do so. The second most fun I had at the movies this year, Star Trek is undoubtedly the start of a franchise which I look forward to seeing more of.

Finally, the Moon Calf Award - The Worst Horror, Sci-Fi and/or Fantasy Movie of the Year:

The Nominees:

The Unborn
Avatar
Paranormal Activity
The Final Destination
Terminator: Salvation
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Game
Push
Knowing
Tooth Fairy
Aliens in the Attic
2012
X-Men Origins - Wolverine

And the Moon Calf goes to:

Paranormal Activity. What a close call -- there were so many bad genre films to choose from this year. But the overrated and over-hyped Paranormal Activity was by far the worst of the bunch. Stupid, derivative, unscary and downright boring, Paranormal Activity is possibly one of the worst horror movies ever made. An amazingly successful viral campaign made this film millions, but real horror fans found it to be silly and excessive, without any truly scary moments.



I'm looking forward to what 2010 will bring us, though from what I've seen so far this year, I am doubtful things will get better.

More, anon.
Prospero