Mini Review: 5 For; 5 Against - "Star Trek: Into Darkness"

Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine

The movie's already been out a week; it's late on the last day of my 5-day weekend; I'm still sore and everything's already been spoiled, so I thought I'd give Star Trek: Into Darkness Jeep Guy Sean's "5 For; 5 Against" treatment.

5 For

5. Zachary Quinto. The adorable Marriage Equality activist proves once again to be Nimoy's destined successor. 

4. The New Timeline. It allowed them to take a Rubik's Cube approach to Wrath of Khan, sometimes quite cleverly refitting and reusing major plot points as part of an overall new story. This franchise shouldn't be viewed as a reboot as much as an Alt History version of the original. If they continue to mine the rest of the cannon this cleverly, they could make as many of these as they want for a very long time.

3. Deep Roy! The diminutive Indian actor has been making genre films since the mid '70's. I first noticed him in 1980's fabulously over-the-top Flash Gordon, billed as Princess Aura's Pet. I didn't realize he was Keenser in Star Trek until I saw his name in the credits this time around. He's in a million things and you usually know him when you see him. Hidden under a ton of makeup in yet another silent role, Roy manages to still convey the humor in Scotty's weird, little alien sidekick.

2. Karl Urban; John Cho; Zoe Saldana; Anton Yelchin and Simon Pegg. While Urban brilliantly channels his own version of DeForest Kelly, the other supporting leads take their iconic characters and make them both new and familiar. Plus... a Tribble!

1. The action sequences and special effects are simply magnificent. J.J. Abrams' eye for exciting action is flawless. Of course we know our heros will survive. They always do. But Abrams manages to make the danger they are in seem very real, no matter how preposterous.

5 Against

5. Chris Pine. Ventriloquist's dummy-headed Pine's version of a young James Kirk just bugs the heck out of me. It's not that he's doing anything particularly wrong... he just doesn't seem to be quite right.  Of course, it could be the way the character is written. Or his age (too young). It just... well, he just isn't the 'Win' that the rest of cast is for me.

4. Benedict Cumberbatch. I don't get the trend of unattractive, pasty Brits in American films lately. But an unattractive, pasty Brit playing a role originated by a handsome, swarthy Spaniard? Khan Noonian Singh is NOT a pasty anything. Was Javier Bardem not available? Or even Gael Garcia Bernal? Hell, Bollywood hottie Hrithric Roshan would have been an even better choice.

3. Lens Flare. Okay, we get it, J.J. It's kind of your thing. But it's getting damned annoying and it hurts my eyes. If you do it in Star Wars, I will hate you forever. Stop it. Stop it now.

2. The Deck. Is it me, or did it look like Hello Kitty threw up in the Enterprise? What was up with all the pink? 

1. IT WAS TOO LOUD!

To be honest, K, Q, Dale and I actually enjoyed it a lot. It was a fun and exciting movie, even if there were no real suprises. Hearing Quinto shout one of Shatner's iconic lines was particularly funny and I was pleased to see Leonard Nimoy in a brief cameo. We didn't see it in 3D and we all agreed we didn't miss anything. ***1/2 (Three and a Half Out of Four Stars). A great way to start the Summer Movie Season.

More, anon.
Prospero

Strange Bedfellows or: End of the Weekend Gratuitisness

PA State Representative Brian Sims of Philadelphia

This has been a rough week for the country, and especially the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and in particular, the city of Boston and its suburb, Watertown (and I have the audacity to complain about a bad movie...).  A very long time ago, someone I once knew told me "The worst thing that is ever going to happen to you no matter what, and you have very little control over it, so why live in fear of it? Embrace your finite mortality and engage in every moment of your life, even your dreams. They are all we'll ever have." He may have been stoned at the time (shh... don't tell) but he was right. It took me a long to actually process what that really meant.

Anyway, I thought the majority of my readers (straight women and other gay men) might want to just have a moment to ourselves and share some happy, probably Safe for Work beefcake, if only to bring a smile you face.

That's openly gay and super-hot State Rep Brian Sims making my blog look so good, right off the bat. A champion of Equality, the 35 year old is the first openly gay person to be elected to the Pennsylvania General Assembly and remains the only openly gay football captain in the NCAA while at Bloomsburg University. Sims received his Juris Doctorate at Michigan State and served as both the President of Equality Pennsylvania and Chairman of Gay and Lesbian Lawyers of Philadelphia. Talk about husband material. Sorry ladies. this one's ours.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't share. You know you want the Ryans as much as we do:

Sensitive; enigmatic; baby-faced Gosling is simply irresistible with his knowing smile and non-judgmental eyes and smoking hot body! And he can actually act!

Reynolds, on the other hand, just exudes sexy. The Canadian actor's insanely hot body; 'Boy-Next-Door' good looks and generally genial manner make up for the nonsense that was Green Lantern. Seriously, what kind of moron hides that body in a CGI suit?

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.... Oh, sorry. Got a little lost there for a moment. He's been both the Human Torch and Captain America. Evans stopped listening to the agent who told him to keep his clothes on, thank goodness.

  

Bollywood Superstar Hrithric Roshan will always be on my list of Things That Make Me Happy.

Of course, there's always my personal Obsession:

Feel better. I know I do. Hope this week is better for all of us!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week (Possibly NSFW Edition)

NPH Goes Bollywood Sexy!

As you may have noticed, my taste; interests and (hopefully) my life might be described as 'eclectic.' When it comes to movies, I may have some favorite genres, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy others. The first time I actually appreciated a Bollywood musical number was in the delightful and underrated romantic comedy The Guru. Sure, it was Americanized, but I was intrigued by the dance style and wanted more. Luckily, Baz Luhrman gave us an even more elaborate number in the finale to Moulin Rouge and I was hooked. I started seeking them out, learning quickly the difference between a good Bollywood musical and a bad one (production values make all the difference). The plots of most of these films are for the most part, preposterous star-crossed lovers stories or tales of syndicated crime (sometimes both in the same movie). But they all feature those fascinating andcomplex dance numbers. Of course, many of you were with me when I first learned about a Bollywood superstar who is quickly growing into an official "Obsession" (though he'll never replace THE Obsession). I'm referring to the very talented, very hot Hrithic Roshan (sigh...).

His eyes! His face! His body! His dancing! Honestly, I have no qualms about saying Roshan's dance skills put Michael Jackson's to shame. Don't get me wrong, Jackson was a damn good dancer. Roshan is undoubtedly better. Of course, Roshan's 'complete package' and a hotness level of 17 on scale of 1 to 10, eclipses everything else anyway. (sigh...). He truly is stunningly beautiful, isn't he? (sigh..). No, really. I'm fine. (sigh...).

Of course, the one thing Bollywood musicals very rarely celebrate, is gay love. Step right up, Prince Harris. Oh - Let me 'splain, Lucy. If Ellen is our High Queen Lesbian and Elton our High Queen Queen, then America's gay boy next door Neil Patrick Harris is decidedly our naughty, irascible and adorable Clown Prince Harry, providing an exceptionally positive role model for today's queer youth, whether he acknowledges it or not. Neil has a YouTube channel called "Neil's Puppet Dreams," which is a series of shorts in which Neil 'dreams in puppet.' Often silly, sometimes racy and always  hilarious, I've been a fan from the start. In the 'Season Finale,' Harris and company go after about 104 topics (alight, maybe 6 or 7...) in their best, most elaborate and smartest episode yet:

The man makes me smile every time I see him, no matter what he's doing and seeing him in a splashy, exceptionally clever, pointed and funny Bollywood parody is a treat. Seriously, who doesn't love Neil Patrick Harris? I know of no one.

And since we're in Bollywood, it's only a slightly longer flight to Oz. In what be the stretchiest segue ever, Australia is the Eastern Hemisphere's equivalent to the U.S. in it's scared-to-commit but happy-to-accept-pink-dollars attitudes. The popular majority supports Marriage Equality, but the governing conservatives do not. Sound familiar? The difference is, Australia has never been afraid to openly, joyously and willingly court gay tourism. Via AccidentalBear.com (site may be NSFW), comes this video promoting a party called "John Homosocial (Australia Day Weekend)." While there is no actual nudity, plenty of very naughty things are rather obviously implied and it may well be NSFW:

JOHN HOMOSOCIAL (AUSTRALIA DAY WEEKEND) from Nik Dimopoulos on Vimeo.

And since it seems I unknowingly set up a pattern here (and please let me know if you recognize it, too -- you know, to prove to me I'm not crazy) let's end with a very funny, very NSFW but ultimately endearing tribute to... um... Mom? Ew. But Yay! I'm confused. (also via)

Gurl, I feel your... well, I get it. Literally can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em, eh?  I was also going to post a link to the trailer of a documentary currently playing at Sundance, but decided I was tired of talking about a person involved with it and changed my mind. You probably know who I'm talking about.

More, anon.
Prospero

Bollywood, Lust and Language Barriers

The few Bollywood musicals I've seen are really dreadful, featuring either silly spy tales; nostalgic mythologies or insipid love stories that make Mama Mia! look like a work of genius.

Still, I wonder why I never heard of Bollywood superstar Hrthiik Roshan. That's him in all his hot glory on the left. Gorgeous and talented (the man dances better than Michael Jackson at his best), Roshan makes his US debut this weekend in Kites, a tri-lingual actioner about a man who falls in love with his fiancee's brother's fiancee. Of course, Roshan could play a man who falls in love with his brother's fiancee's father's goat, and it wouldn't matter, as long as he spent more than 50% of the movie more than 50% unclothed.

Apparently, much of the humor in Kites revolves around the problems of communicating in Hindi, Spanish and English. Trust me, I'd have no problem expressing my thoughts to Roshan. Nathaniel Rogers' review on Towleroad sums it up quite nicely:

"Though Roshan only gets one dance number (Shame. He sure can move) his impossible body gets such loving camera attention and he poses so still and carefully for it that you might feel you're watching a camp classic -- the first based on an old catalog! -- International Male: The Movie."

I've always been a fan of the "tall, dark and handsome" type, but Roshan takes that cliche and amps it up by about 1000% (what is it with me and percentages tonight?). The 36 year-old hottie has made only 25 films in his nearly 30-year career, though I suspect that Kites will not only garner him a legion of American fans (both male and female) who will gladly plunk down $10 for a few hours of his exceptional hotness, but will be just the start of an international film career. I know I will be awaiting his American-made film debut with baited breath.

Now I know you all are thinking "Uncle P, what's up with you? You don't usually go on about hot men." To that I have to say, "Have you taken a good look at him? Da-yum!" It's like Vishnu blessed us with an Indian combination of Stallone; Statham; Pitt; Baldwin and Kelly. I know I don't usually gush like this, but having seen him, can you honestly blame me?

Here's a clip of Roshan's best moves:

And here is the trailer for Kites:

To borrow a phrase from my dear Stephen Rader, Roshan is officially my new "Imaginary Boyfriend." And don't you dare try to tell me otherwise.

More, anon.
Prospero