Goodbye, Thank You and a Few Last Things

The Party's Over

Well, this should come as no surprise to anyone. I reach more people on Facebook than Caliban's Revenge ever did. And it's quite obvious from the lack of posts that I have been, let's say "otherwise occupied," of late. My life has changed so very much since I started this blog on July 9th, 2008.

At the time, my intent was document the production process of a play I was directing. It was not only on the main stage of my alma mater, it was also being showcased at the first International Thornton Wilder Society Conference being hosted by said alma mater. The play was The Skin of Our Teeth. My concept was Steampunk and it was awesome, if I do say so myself! Of course, we hadn't even had auditions when I first posted and I needed something to talk about... so I posted about one of my other passions: Movies. Specifically, 10 Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi Movies that Need to Be Re-made. Which you can read right here, if you are so inclined. And since I'll be closing out with very same topic, you might be interested to see the differences between the two (several have been or are in the process of being made by now).

As I wrote more and more, reviewing movies; commenting on politics; promoting charities; raging against the machine; promoting LGBT issues or just being silly for the sake of being silly, I poured an awful lot about myself onto these posts. And enough people responded to make it fun. I met the amazing Stephen Rutledge and Stephen Rader (and a few other amazing folks) thanks to this blog. And I have corresponded with folks all over the world, thanks to this blog.  Since I started, I lost my mother and met an extraordinary man who came to me exactly when I needed him the most. The world, to paraphrase Tolkien,'has moved on.' And I, with it.

I hope I have entertained you; made you laugh or made you angry or made you feel anything at all. If I did, then I win! If not, then why did you bother reading? I am still doing lots of writing for myself and J has encouraged me to get back to revising some of my 'almost' screenplays, so I am going to do just that. And who knows? I may be back. I'd love to do a Home Cooking blog. Yes, I know; done to death. But by a gay bear who is REALLY good at it?

Anyway, below is Uncle P's final post on Caliban's Revenge:

10 Sci-fi/Horror/Fantasy Movies that Need to Be Re-Made

10. Something Wicked This Way Comes. Ray Bradbury's amazing novel was done a disservice by the Disney version. The novel was a significant influence on me at a young age and remains one of my all time favorites. It needs to be done right.

 9. Ghost Story. Peter Straub's terrifying novel is given very short shrift in John Irvin's eviscerated film version. A quartet of once-greats can't save this mess, though it did introduce genre favorite Alice Krige to U.S. audiences. A more faithful adaptation of the novel is long overdue, even it means a sprawling 3+ hours run-time. Straub's complex story deserves no less.

 8. Flash Gordon. Yes, I said it! Even the cheesiest of cheese lovers admit how queso this 1980 cult classic is. And trust me, I adore it as much as anyone else, probably even more. It is exactly the kind of movie the word 'Camp" has come to describe and it is it's own perfect thing. But in the character's heyday, Flash Gordon was a serious Sci-Fi Adventure tale and an imaginative, serious  reboot is certainly worth exploring

 7.  Frogs. With James Patterson's "Zoo" taking TV by storm this summer, I MUST talk about this 1972 AIP stinker about animals striking back, if only to prove that everything old is new again. Replace Sam Elliot with Ryan Reynolds; Ray Milland with John Mahoney Joan Van Ark with almost anyone. Seriously.... A doll whose lines are dubbed in by Andie McDowell, even. (Some of you are laughing VERY hard at that joke... I hope).

 6. The Exorcist. Yup. Still on the list. Because I've never found it scary! In fact, the whole 'head-spin' effect is so obvious, I laughed the first time I saw it. That wasn't scripted as a funny moment... I still do not understand the mass hysteria that accompanied the film's initial release. And yes, I understand that one must believe in the devil to be afraid of the devil...  But there are movies that have scared me. This just isn't one.

 5. The Shining. Kubrick was wrong! And while Mick Garris' TV version was closer, neither actually conveys the growing sense of danger and terror as King's prose manages to do. I don't know about you, but I would gladly sit through a 195 minute, R-rated Frank Darabont version!

 4. Mysterious Island. The unofficial sequel to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the 1961 film version of  Mysterious Island is set during the U.S. Civil War. It has a terrific Bernard Hermann score and some of Ray Harryhausen's most memorable stop-motion effects. A modern Steampunk version that is more faithful to Jules Verne's novel  could be a hit in the right hands. The 2012 version starring Dwayne Johnson does NOT count.

 3. Demon Seed. Didn't see that one, coming, did you? Dean Koontz (the poor man's Stephen King) wrote the novel about a woman living in a fully computerized house is raped by and gives birth to said computer's hybrid offspring. There is talk of this remake happening. The original is really... odd. 

 2. Logan's Run. I will always push for the movie this dystopian novel deserves. And yes, I am aware of the original's many charms. I still say "Meh." It could (and should) be done better. Persistent rumors of this remake happening make me think it might never be...

 1. The Haunting. The scariest movie ever made was re-made by an action-movie buffoon as one of the most ridiculous movies ever made. Like King Kong, it deserves a remake that respects the original. And I still dare any of you to watch Robert Wise's film alone, with the lights out. You'd wet yourselves, you wimps!

And so ends 7 years of "Opinionated Nonsense." At least on this forum. You can follow and/or friend  me on Facebook. To friend request, please send a Private Message with the phrase "Sea Monster."

Here's the thing:

"Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free."

No More, anon.
Brian

Review "The Avengers: Age of Ultron"

Holy cow! I'm actually blogging! In fact, I may blog several times this month as there are at least two other movies coming out and another currently playing on my Must See list and I am determined to see at least two. But that's another post.

So today marked several significant things for your Uncle P.  It was the first movie I've seen in a theater since Christmas; it was the first 'Tentpole' movie of the season; it was the next Marvel movie in an increasingly interconnected series unlike anything that's ever been attempted before and (most importantly) it was the first time that J and I went to the movies together. I love that while J doesn't quite share my enthusiasm for movies, he likes that I have that enthusiasm. The last movie he'd seen in a theater was a Harry Potter movie and he had never seen a 3D movie (poor, sheltered thing - LOL - I love you, Honey!) so it was more than just out first movie together for him, too (yes, we're saving our ticket stubs - we're mushy that way!).

Sorry... You want to know what I thought of the movie. Or, at least I hope you do. Any way...

When we last saw The Avengers as a team, they were eating schwarma after defeating Loki and the alien invaders, much to the chagrin of first-glimpsed villain, Thanos. The Avengers now operate as an independent team under the direction of Steve "Captain America" Rogers (Chris Evans) and we join them in the midst of an assault on a HYRDA compound in Eastern Europe to recover Loki's scepter. Once recovered, Tony "Iron Man" Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) asks to study the sceptor for 3 days before Thor (Chris Hemsworth) returns it to Asgaard. When Stark's computer, Jarvis (Paul Bettany) studies the staff, it discovers the gem inside (one of the 'Infinity Stones' which have featured in several of the films) houses an artificial intelligence. Seeing this as an opportunity to create a sentry for humanity, Stark and and Bruce "Hulk" Banner (Mark Ruffalo) attempt to interface Jarvis and the AI to create what is intended to be a world-wide guardian named Ultron* (James Spader). Of course, as in any good Frankenstein story, a monster arises, instead.

Thankfully, Age of Ultron manages to just barely avoid the Marvel plot formulas that were becoming a little too familiar and this time around we get to learn more about the humans inside the Superheros, particularly Clint "Hawkeye" Barton (Jeremy Renner) and a seemingly impossible romance for Banner and Natasha "Black Widow" Romanov (Scarlett Johansson). There is plenty of the usual Marvel action and banter, with lots of tension-relieving jokes and one-liners in between the grand-scale destruction and over-the-top action sequences (a very funny scene about them all trying to lift Mjölnir turns into an important plot point later on). We are also introduced (I won't say how or when) to the character Vision (Bettany) and a pair of 'enhanced' twins (Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver** and Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch). Add appearances from Marvel regulars Idris Elba; Hayley Atwell; Don Cheadle; Cobie Smulders; Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson and you have a very entertaining movie, indeed. But I must give a special nod to Spader's voice performance, which is dead-on. I knew but had forgotten that Spader was cast, and both J and I were going crazy trying to figure out whose voice it was, because his smarmy inflections and turns of phrase were so very familiar. When the credits rolled we both said "D'oh!"

Yes, we both very much enjoyed the movie, though I thought the 3D was completely unnecessary. It honestly did nothing to enhance the movie and at the end of the 141 minute run-time, my eyes were very tired and J had a headache (he said, "I don't ever need to see another 3D movie, Honey"). Truth be told, I liked the first Avengers movie much better. Writer/Director Joss Whedon obviously has a vision for the franchise and I expect the next film in the series (Infinity Wars) will be the Empire Strikes Back of the series.  *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars). 

The Avengers: Age of Ultron is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action, violence and destruction, and for some suggestive comments." 

*In the original comics, Ultron was invented by Hank Pym, the original "Ant-Man." One of the trailers we saw before the movie was for Marvel's next 'Phase Two' movie Ant-Man starring Paul Rudd ("Oh, Paul!") and Michael Douglas as... Hank Pym!

**We previously saw a very different version of Quicksilver as played by Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past, apparently the result of multiple studios owning various rights to the character, though Taylor-Johnson's version remains truer to the comics.

Well, this was fun. I'm pretty sure you'll hear from me again this month!

More, anon.
Prospero

A Creepy Peeps Update

Scarlett

The game is still afoot, it seems. I arrived home on Friday afternoon to find a pink gift bag hanging on my doorknob. I immediately knew it was another dolly for my growing collection. The eerily beautiful creation on your right came with the following (edited by me) note:

Dearest Brian,

Who needs an Easter egg hunt when you can continue wondering which of your loving friends is behind your creepy peeps?!

We bring this one to your door as she is magnificent, ceremonial and resplendent with colorful joy! A match to your present state of bliss and wonder with this (J) person we keep hearing about. Ah yes, you thought perhaps your blissful state had gone unnoticed? We're creepy, not blind dear one.

We do hope he shares your love for the unusual surprises in life!

Wishing you, the other (cartoon doll heads, colored in order of receipt: brown, green, pink and yellow) and (J) every happiness!!!

Love,

The Royal Order of Creepiness.

The fact that they know about J means they are  Facebook friends or followers, which doesn't help in identifying them in the least! Still loving this game! While more than one friend has expressed their jealously, several still find it genuinely creepy.

Of course, now that I have five, I thought it was time to name them. In order of reciept (you can see the first four here) they are: Aja; Jade; Temperance; Hanael and Scarlett. And yes, all of those names have meaning to your crazy old Uncle P.

Hope your life is as full of fun and surprises as mine has been, of late. 

More, anon.

Uncle P

PS - Did I happen to mention that I have fallen madly, deeply and hopelessly in love with J? Because I have. And amazingly, so has he with me. Life is good.

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Kenyth Mogan

It's been quite a while, I think, since I've done a Gayest Things post. Not that Uncle P is any less gay than before... whatever. 

Anyway... this post is about me and one of the best things to happen to me in a long time and the difference a chance encounter has made in my outlook. I know I've talked about my battles with depression in the past. And while I haven't talked about it much, Mom's death in 2013 left me with some very unexpected financial burdens which I'm still trying to sort out. Things were pretty bleak for a while (and in some aspects, still are). Then two things happened. First, I was cast in a terrific show with some terrific folks and spent time doing something comfortable, familiar, challenging and cathartic (and something Mom would have wanted me to do).

Second, prompted by another of Mom's wishes, I joined several online dating/meeting sites, though I had honestly given up on finding anyone at my age, who might even offer the hope of romance. But that changed last October, about a week after the anniversary of Mom's passing, when I agreed to meet with someone I met on one of the sites I'd joined.  I'll admit, I had my trepidations. The last guy I met online (while Mom was still alive) turned out to be a selfish social-climber whose home was filled his ceramic frog collection and wooden signs spouting  meaningless platitudes and 'motivational' cliches. Can you say 'douche?'

But I did go to that Pizzeria Uno that Sunday night and was very pleasantly surprised to meet a man  I not only found very attractive, but with whom conversation was so easy, natural and pleasant. And as different as we are, we had more than enough in common to make a connection. Our first kiss at the end of that first date was.... electric! Four months later and we're like... well...

J is sweet; kind; funny; tender; attentive; romantic; a great kisser and (TMI alert) outrageously good when it comes to 'intimate activities.'  He's 6' 3" tall, adorable and solid! His giggle is infectious and he is cuddly as all get out. This past weekend saw our first overnight together and I can honestly report that I am still aglow from those 18 hours -- and if his Facebook posts are to be believed (and I have no reason to doubt so), so is he.  When I am with him, everything else goes away... and after we part, the glow of my time spent with him is astonishing. I can't (for lots of reasons and circumstances) use the "L" word, yet, but this is the closest to it I've been in a long time!

All of that having been said, I found the below video on Towleroad, thinking it sweet, funny and oddly appropriate for the intoxicated  mood in which I find myself. Please enjoy Kenyth Mogan's Oz-inspired video for his newest single, 'Unlock Your Heart.'

More from Cloud Nine, anon.
Prospero

Exciting News

So, having last directed Top Girls for Shakespeare '70 and Die Mommie Die! for the JTMF almost 5 years ago, I am about to take up the mantle again with a sort of unusual production of Jonathan Harvey's groundbreaking 1993 play Beautiful Thing. 

I say unusual not meaning the production itself will be (though that may well prove false, as well), but unusual in the way in which the show came about. 

So, I've talked about my friend Matty, who is a very talented actor and writer. Well, it seems Matty is just a few credits shy of receiving his degree from The College of New Jersey. While a full time student there, Matty and his friend Steve caused a bit of a media storm by attempting to not only break the Guinness record for the Longest Continuous Kiss, but to also be the first same-sex male couple to do so. Matty and Steve's story inspired novelist David Levithan to write the 2014 Lambda Literary and Stonewall Honor Book Awards-winning novel "Two Boys Kissing." David has since become another of Matty's mentors and they came up with a way for Matty to earn his degree with performance credits.

So, when Matty asked if I would direct, I couldn't refuse. I have so far been able to cast both of the remaining male roles with actors I know and love and trust (my own dear David - not to be confused with Dear D - and my Hairspray and Jeffrey cast mate Chris) and am currently looking for the two women I need. I'm hoping to have our first read-through next week, as the show goes up the third weekend of March! 

Because the JTMF was such an important part of his non-academic theatre education, he insisted that ticket sales be donated to our favorite LGBTQ causes.

I'll be sure to keep you all up to date. I'm very excited to stretch my creative muscles again!

The play was adapted into a rather excellent film in 1996:



More, anon.
Prospero

New Year, New Hope

First post of the New Year! 

2014 was a very mixed bag for Uncle P. Plenty of great stuff happened: I met someone amazing; I was in an exceptional show (Bluebird); I completely redecorated my living room and kitchen; I got a new washing machine; I got a new vacuum; I got to visit San Francisco again and went to Vegas for the first time. 

Conversely, plenty of other stuff sucked: I lost two very sweet and talented friends; my washing machine, chest freezer and vacuum all went the way of all things; I found out that my father's second wife's children might have a claim to my house* and there's a ton of taxes owed on the property I inherited and I have no idea how I'm going to pay it; I found out my mother fell victim to the mortgage frauds perpetrated by Fannie Mae and Bank of America in the first decade of the 21st Century and taking on a an unwanted (but needed) boarder has proven difficult (he's a bit of an irresponsible slob - though he's working on it) and not as financially beneficial as I'd hoped. 

This year, I already have two potential shows (plus a special tribute show to one of those lost friends) lined up and I am determined to find a way out of the financial mess Mom left me (I loved her dearly, but am angry at how much she kept from me). I am hoping to continue to repaint and redecorate the rest of my house while continuing to write plays, screenplays and this blog.

I am thankful for the loving and supportive people in my life (both online and IRL) and the steady paycheck from the Day Job (no matter how much I may complain about our clients, it's still a great place to work). 

My wish for all of you in 2015 is prosperity; good health; solid relationships and the kind of astonishingly loving and supportive network of friends I am lucky enough to have. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's to 2015 being better than 2014!

More, anon.
Prosper

*They've since all agreed to sign off on their claims. It would have cost them more in legal fees than they might possibly have gained, anyway.

Uncle P and the Mystery of the Creepy Peeps

Among my friends there are two distinct camps when it comes to this story: those who, like myself, find it hilarious and fun and those, like my BIL, who think Uncle P is being stalked by a serial killer. I'll let you decide.

Last November, just about a month after my mother passed away, I came home to find an Apple box stuffed in my mailbox. When I pulled out the tissue paper and ribbons, I found the nightlight you see to your right. And yes, the bulb inside is red. There was no card or note. Nothing on the box but the Apple logo. When I posted it to Facebook, the two camps immediately made themselves apparent. Of course, my friends and regular readers know my taste for the odd (indeed, the macabre) and unusual. And they also know I tend to have a rather dark sense of humor. I thought it was hilarious and plugged it into a kitchen outlet (it gets too hot for practical use, but is fun to switch on when I have guests). In the months that followed, people would occasionally ask me if I ever found out who sent it, but I almost forgot about. Until...

Just around my birthday this year, I came home and opened my screen door and a box tumbled out onto the mat.  Inside was not only the green planter below, but a note!

"Dear Brian,

"The psychic creepy doll network has determined you and your red eyed nightlight needed a friend.

"Therefore please welcome this new addition to your home. We trust you will admire and enjoy it.

"With much love, a shared sense of humor and best wishes,

"Your mystery/anonymous creepy peeps."

The box was a sturdy gift box from the Frenchtown Metalworks, an art jeweler in New Jersey. 

How exciting! Contact had been made! But how much was to be believed? Is this the work of more than one person? Do they live in or near Frenchtown? He, she or they obviously know where I live and when they can deliver packages when I'm not home. More friends freak out. I laugh and hope that all will be revealed, eventually. Speculation continues.  

Next - right before Halloween, I came home to find a bag on my kitchen table. My boarder had brought it in (whew!) after finding it hanging on the doorknob, outside. In the bag was a square box, also from Frenchtown Metalworks. It had a black ribbon and written on it in orange and black markers was "Happy Halloween!" And in the box was the delightfully odd electric tealight holder you see below.

Cozy, isn't she? The yellow flickering eyes in the very pink head are far more effective than the red bulb in the nightlight, don;t you think? No note this time but I didn't need one.

Most recently, I came home from picking up my Christmas Eve dinner from Wing Wah, to find a USPS Priority Mail package sitting in my carport. My sister's package had already arrived, as well as a package from friends who couldn't wait to see me to give me my gift. I looked for the sender only to see "Santa" with no return address. I knew immediately who it was from.

I ate my dinner, opened the rest of my mail and then set to the package. Inside was a letter and the most elaborate dolly of all. Wrapped in a blankie and painted yellow all over; her hair cut off and phrases, slogans and bits of poetry written all over her, she is quite magnificent! 

The letter reads: 

"ho ho ho Brian!

   "I fear you've not been naughty enough this year so was tempted to not deliver this wee child to you for the holidays.

   "Alas your creepy peeps network has informed me that exists (sic) in you a certain scorn for the Christmas merriment... the stories behind the story as it were.

"That has set you in my good graces and so I bestow upon you your very own baby - one of poetry for your reading pleasure as you sit by the fire.

   "So master yourself an icy cold martini, sit back and enjoy the season.

"All my best,

" Santa, the creepy one

"PS... my supply of treats for you has run low... but I have my sources and so perhaps we shall continue this adventure into yet another year"

The font colors are theirs. So they also know that I am an atheist and enjoy an icy cold Sapphire martini now and again. The plot thickens. Or does it? Loads of folks know that. The doll itself, is fascinating. She reminds me of something out of a Clive Barker movie.

On her face is: LETS DO EMPTY OUR POCKETS AND DISAPPEAR * MISSING ALL OUR APPOINTMENTS AND TURN ING UP YEARS LATER UNSHAVEN OLD CIGARETTE PAPERS STUCK TO OUR PANTS LEAVES IN *** OUR HAIR Her torso reads: LET US NOT WORRY ABOUT THE PAYMENTS ANYMORE LET THEM COME ND TAKE IT AWAY WHATEVER IT WAS WE WERE PAYING AND US WITH IT  On her left arm and side: I AM A SOCIAL CLIMBER CLIMBING DOWNWARD AND THE DESCENT IS DIFFICULT  On her right arm: THE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS IDEAL IS FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BIRDS HAVE NO USE FOR IT

On her left leg: LETS CUT IT OUT LETS GO TO THE REAL INTERIOR OF THE COUNTRY WHERE HOCKSHOPS REIGN MERE UNBLIND ANARCHY UPON US THE END IS NEAR BUT GOLF GOES ON. On her right leg: LET US ARISE AND GO NOW TO WHERE DOGS DO IT OVER THE HILL * WHERE THEY KEEP THE EARTHQUAKES BEHIND CITY DUMPS LOST AMONG GAS MAINS AND GARBAGE. On top of her head: JUNKMAN'S OBBLIGATO On the back of her head: LAWRENCE FERLING HETTI (the artist, perhaps?) MY BODY IS HUNG UP TOO LONG IN THE STRANGE SUSPENDERS GET ME A BRIGHT BANDANA FOR A OCKSTRAP (sic) On her back: LET US NOW YOU AND I LEAVING OUR NECKTIES BEHIND ON LAMPOSTS (sic) TAKE UP THE FULL BEARD OF WALKING ANARCHY LOOKING LIKE WALT WHITMAN A HOME MADE BOMB IN THE POCKET I WISH TO OESCEN (?) IN THE SOCIA (?) IS LOW On the back of her right arm: LOSE THE WAR WITHOUT KILLING ANYONE

So, Uncle P's question for you... Would you be freaked out, or just as amazed and amused as I am? That a friend or friends would go this far and long without cracking is just awesome. I know there will be a grand reveal, eventually and I will be face-palming myself for not figuring it out. Until them, I very much love this game!

More, anon.
Uncle P

Time to Say "Goodbye?"

Is it time to pack it in, kids? It's been almost an entire month since I've posted anything. I've gotten so poor, I don't go to the movies even half as much as I used to. The last show I did seems like forever ago, already and I'm battling an early-onset bout of S.A.D. Vegas, while interesting and another city off my Bucket List, wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd hoped (being poor is no fun in Sin City). And Thanksgiving dinner alone in an Italian restaurant -- even if it is one of the best Italian restaurants in town -- is hardly a Holiday meal. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my trip but I have no need to go back any time soon and I certainly wouldn't go alone, again. Still, it was better than my last Thanksgiving (shh... don't tell Auntie).

Uncle P's life has changed so drastically over the last 14 months... And while the promise of a fulfilling creative venture looms, nothing is set is stone. Everyday seems like a struggle... Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not going anywhere. There's depressed and then there's depressed. I've been depressed and have no intention of going back there. This is most definitely NOT a suicide post. 

It is, however, about the possibility of ending Caliban's Revenge. That doesn't mean I'll stop using social media. Hardly. I seem to reach way more people on Facebook and Twitter (even though I hardly use Twitter) than I do here. And who's to say I wouldn't start a new blog about something different. Food, maybe. Cooking is one of my other great passions. "Prospero Cooks" That could work. 

Anyway, this is just an end-of-year ramble which may or may not signal the end of The Revenge. We'll see how well I survive the holidays before making any rash decisions. Just know that I am thrilled if you still read me. I'd be more thrilled if you let me know you still read me.

More, anon (at least once more),

Prospero

PS - The trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road is one of the many things that makes me want to live:

BOOM!!!

Ciao.

P

The Disgustings, or The Gayest D-Bags You'll See This Week

Drew Droege and Jordan Firstman

Writer/Director/Star Jordan Firstman's short The Disgustings spends time with the kind of gay men we all know... and hopefully avoid: Elitist haters who pretend to be above everyone else and who can take no real joy in life. 

Co-starring and co-written by Drew Droege (best known for his hilarious YouTube videos where he parodies Indie actress Chloe Sevigny), The Disgustings is a dead-on look at the kind of narcissistic, self-hating gay men we've all encountered (and wanted to smash in their faces with a trendy cocktail). Judgmental, crass and completely unaware, Jordan and Drew hit every note about what is wrong with modern gay culture in this biting satire.

The Disgustings from jordan firstman on Vimeo.

Hilarious and sad at the same time, yes? Uncle P (as have many of you, I'm sure) has met his fair share of guys like this. It's no wonder they're taking selfies alone. I hope I never wind up as one of these sad queens who hate everyone and everything, just because I hate myself (which I don't). Thankfully, some exceptionally good friends, my amazing sister and some very affirming recent experiences (does Uncle P have a new Beau? Stay tuned to find out...) have convinced me that no matter how cynical and jaded I may become, I will never be as awful as these two. If you see yourself in this movie, don't bother to look me up. And get some help, bitch.You need it.

More, anon.
Uncle P

"The Walking Dead" Season Five Special Event

I am hardly surprised by the general excitement surrounding this coming Sunday night's Season 5 premiere episode of AMC's massive genre hit, "The Walking Dead." Nor am I in the least surprised by my personal excitement. The consistently excellent writing (yes, even Season 2), acting and production values on the cable original all combine for a show that (love it or hate it) will certainly go down in the annals of Television History (as long as such things exist, anyway) for so many reasons.

If you were with me back then, I would re-cap and comment on each episode during Season One and some of Two. I sort of miss doing that, but don't have the time to do so, anymore. But I still love the show and realize that Season Five is a milestone and I want to commemorate that for a couple of reasons.*

Sunday, October 12th from 9:30 PM Eastern to 11:05 PM Eastern, Uncle P will be Live Tweeting leading up to the premiere and during commercials! It will be the only episode I'll watch in real time this season (or maybe the season finale if this goes well - we'll see...). I hope I have enough to talk about! 

Don't already follow me on Twitter? You should. @Caliban761. 

*All of this, I think, is part of a new enthusiasm inspired by several recent events in Uncle P's life that are pretty much the exact opposite of the events around the same time last year (more on that in my next post). My 'New Normal' continues to become a more level and increasingly positive place that makes me want to get back to writing and expressing myself more. When I thought of doing the Live Tweet thing, I got excited about writing again and I can't wait to see what happens! Hope to see you on Twitter on Sunday night. I'll try not to be too spoilery!

More, anon.
Uncle P

New 80's Music; Lip Dubs & Other Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Uncle P Was Here

So far, this weekend has been really excellent and this year's fourth quarter seems to be (finally) starting out to be better than last year's. After a terrifically fun & funny dinner and drinks with five other close co-workers (the official closed Facebook invite was called "Drink and Bitch") I came home on Friday, not quite ready to call it a night. So I hopped in the shower, changed and headed toward Southeastern PA's gay Mecca, New Hope and had a very fun evening which included getting to see my favorite comedian/bartender Adrian Colon (among other things; wink-wink, nudge-nudge). 

Today, Uncle P got to spend time with some dear young theatre friends at the Philadelphia Fall Festival (photo above), held in Center City's 'Gayborhood.' Tons of amazing food, cocktails and craft beers (I had a particularly delicious raspberry ale that was amazingly subtle and not sweet at all) as well as vendors and artists and tons of live entertainment from all over the region. We left around 3:30 (taking an hilariously unnecessary route back to the garage where we'd parked, but encountering a very cool, functional R2D2 because of it) and the increasing crowd was already becoming increasingly inebriated. I think we got out while the gettin' was good. Oddly, for what was promoted as an LGBT event, there very few LGBT-related booths or activities. After coming home, I ran some errands, defrosted the meats for tomorrow's Meatloaf Florentine and caught up on "Gray's Anatomy" (shut it!). After checking Facebook, I went to visit a few of my usual cyber-haunts, where I found a few music videos which I just had to share, because I loved them (and you should too).

First up (via) is The Department, with their decidedly 80's sounding and looking "As If Transformed." Electronica Lives!

Wow! That takes me back! 

Next (also via) is proof that artists and art everywhere. This weird, wonderful and super-fun single-take lip dub of Kiesza's "Hideaway" is just amazing and deserves to go viral.

Of course, Kiesza's original single-take video is pretty amazing, too.

Last, though hardly least (and to keep 'The Gayest Thing' tag relevant), the very adorable Berkshire Boys are back with their lip-dub of Demi Lovato's over-played "Really Don't Care." They're so cute, you can forgive one more listen!

All this and I still have a Sunday evening first date to look forward to. Whee! Yes, I still have my moments, but after Bluebird and these past few weekends, I'm finally starting to really feel like myself, again. And while I am always loathe to quote a criminal One Percenter, "That's a good thing." 

More, anon.
Prospero

Back In the Saddle, Again.

Yes, You Are Seeing Double. The 'Fares' of Langhorne Players' Production of "Bluebird"

Next month will mark the first anniversary of my mother's passing. Uncle P's life has changed so drastically in such a short time that it seems both much longer and hardly a minute later at the same time. Of course, this probably only proves that time is an illusion. There can only ever be now. ("Whoa! Dude, too heavy..."  "Shut up, ya bloody wanker!"*)

Most of the inside of my house looks almost nothing like it did 11 months ago. It is very much starting to finally feel like my own place with my own distinct sense of style. That's helped a lot. I've also recently taken on a boarder (something I didn't want to do - I'd grown accustomed to being alone), but not something I regret. He  is a friendly acquaintance I first met while performing as Cassius in Julius Caesar in 1997. He needed the place, I had the room and I certainly like the extra money. Our schedules are different enough that we aren't often home at the same time and even when we are, we seem to get along quite well. He likes to boast that he is sharing a house with a gay man. I like to complain that he leaves the lid (not the seat) of the toilet up (toilet seats have lids for a reason - I don't want to have to fish anything out of mine, thank you) and he claims an inefficient freezer in a former home has left him with a habit of only filling ice cube trays half-way. But I will break him. Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! No, seriously. It's working out well... so far. And yes, being a 12 year-old bartender means I must have a full ice bin at all times. Thanks again. Dad!

To tie all of this in with this post's title and the sprawling publicity photo above, despite the crazy crap that's been going on since she passed, I know Mom would be very upset to know that I'd put the thing about which I am most passionate on hold for so long. I was contacted by a director I knew by name only, at the suggestion of my very own Q (who knows me well enough to know it was time, as well). I was asked to come in and read for one or possibly two small roles in a play I'd never heard of, Bluebird by British playwright Simon Stephens. I got both parts and joined a show already two weeks into rehearsals with a bit of trepidation. Yes, they weren't huge rolls, but they were obviously important to the story and both have some hefty monologs. Thank His Great Noodly Appendages for my "Line Nazi" K, who always gets the job done! (LOVE you, Honey!). We officially opened last night (Friday) and while it was good, I still had a flub that almost threw me. 

Tonight, however, I was feeling particularly 'on,' as we say. I was calm and collected; focused and and firing on all cylinders. The performers among you will totally understand the feeling. Even better, two performances in and I am still finding new things about these two characters, both of whom are as different as can be, yet have so much in common. Bluebird is mostly set in a London Bluebird Mini-Cab and revolves around it's driver and a single night of fares who both inform and reflect his own story. I play Robert (a middle-class father returning to the scene of a crime on the day the perpetrator is being released from prison) and Andy (a tough-guy bouncer with a heart of gold, on his way home to his family after a rough night). Stephens' spare dialog is delicious to work with and immediately made me decide Andy was Cockney, which really gives him some delicious linguistic energy that's so very fun to play (and his very dirty mouth doesn't hurt - I love swearing on stage - it's very liberating)! Robert is much darker and sadder (and very drunk) - still a good exercise in character and mood, which is not as 'fun' to play, but equally satisfying. *And while I don't actually say it, "Shut up, ya bloody wanker!" seemed the obvious response in a post that has somehow turned out to be about dichotomy; death; life; theatre; acting; change and growth.

"Dude! What'd I say?"  Yeah, I know, but I'm not going to stop, because if there is one thing I have had reaffirmed these past few weeks (and especially tonight), it's that theatre can and should be transformative, for both performers and audiences. I can't speak for the audiences of any work in which I am involved, but as stressful and wonderful (I've not only made many new friends, but reconnected with one I hadn't seen in 30 years) as Bluebird has been, it reminded of why I do what I do. It is my 'religion' and it feeds my 'soul,'  however you decide to define either. And I am so very glad to be feeding so satisfyingly. Of course, I used to have to add silver to my hair to age me. Now I have to spray it darker to 'youthen' me. And don't get me started about mascara in my goatee!

Depending on when you are reading this, there are still 9 performances left. Be forewarned, this will not be everyone's cup of tea, you should pardon the metaphor. It's dark and spare and doesn't have a lot of action (almost the entire show is set inside the cab - cleverly designed and executed by the director and a fellow cast-mate, so it's never static for too long) but every 'episode' - no matter how brief - informs, echoes and/or foreshadows the bigger picture that is ultimately Andy's path to a sense of closure and self-redemption. Chewy, yummy actory stuff and exactly (as Q knew) what I needed, when I needed it most. For info and tickets, visit www.langhorneplayers.org.

Well, there's a ramble for you, eh? One of Andy's admonitions is "Enjoy the sunshine!" This is my sunshine. It is warm. It is friendly. It is good. Thank you to Mr Ken Junkins, who saw something he liked and trusted me to do what needed to be done.  And forever and forever thank you to Q for knowing this was the right project to ease myself back into and K for the line drills. Small enough to not have the line-load of 'Prospero,' but still artistically challenging and rewarding, I am so happy I agreed to do it.

Things are really starting to look at least a little bit better. At least, I hope so. Change is both inevitable and good. While embracing change isn't always easy, stagnant water both looks icky and stinks!

Here's a bit more about Bluebird and the London company that developed the original production:

I'm not saying it's all roses and lollipops. Hardly. There's all sorts of nonsense still going on that you would think I was making it all up if I told you. But the newest sense of normalcy seems to be a thousand times better than the worst possible scenario. 

Shameless Self-Promotion/Nonsense/Philosophizing over.

More, anon.
Prospero

August Horrors

As the summer movie season draws to a close and all the major "tentpole" movies have been released, smaller studios are ready to waltz in and make a quick profit on relatively inexpensive genre films. While October might seem the logical time to release a horror movie, by mid-August, genre fans like Uncle P are looking for something darker and weirder to get them through the often artsy Oscar bait with which we are about to be inundated (not that there's anything wrong with artsy Oscar bait movies... there are plenty of those that I love). But once a Horror fan, always a Horror fan.

First up is the modern Southern Gothic Jessabelle. Directed by Kevin Greutert (the Saw series). Jessabelle concerns a young woman (Sarah Snook) who returns home after a car accident paralyzes her and kills her boyfriend. Moving into the first floor bedroom previously occupied by her late mother (something Uncle P is actually about to do), Jessie discovers a series of VHS tapes made by her apparently  psychic Mom., predicting what's going to happen to her. 

Yikes!

Next is from Quarantine director John Erick Dowdle. As Above So Below explores the catacombs beneath the City of Lights, an ossuary created to house the many thousands of Parisian corpses which could no longer be contained in traditional cemeteries via a group of young archaeologists looking for a missing part of history. Combining elements from and with any number of Gates of Hell movies,. As Above So Below looks like good a old-fashioned claustrophobic nightmare.

I would NOT go down there. Would you?

And then there's the curiosity known as The Congress. Robin Wright (The Princess Bride) stars as a version of herself in a film that comments about the illusions of beauty, reality and Hollywood. And while there are some who might argue that The Congress isn't a Horror film, imagine yourself trapped in an animated world where anything could happen. I think Ethel from The Twilight Zone might sympathize.Wright is joined by an amazing cast which includes Harvey Keitel; Jon Hamm; Kodi Smit-McPhee and Danny Huston. 

I'll be happy to see one of these films this month and delighted if I were able to see all three (as unlikely as that is). 

More, anon.
Prospero

"The Joke's On You" Part Deux

The Joke's On You star, Adrian Colon

A while back I posted about a short film starring and co-directed by a young man I met on a very odd Friday night, not too long ago in New Hope. Adrian Colon is a standup comedian from my hometown of Trenton, NJ and The Joke's On You is short documentary about his struggle to make it in an exceptionally difficult field. 

One way Adrian supplements his income is by bar-tending at New Hope's (in)famous Raven Inn. He is funny and adorable and pours my perfect martini, perfectly (Sapphire:* up; in & out;  no fruit). At home, I keep my gin in the freezer, so it doesn't get diluted by the ice. Same thing with my vodka, but I digress.

Uncle P is excited and pleased to announce that The Joke's On You has been chosen to premiere on Friday, September 12th as part of the NJ Film Festival's Fall Schedule! I am lucky enough to have seen the entire film and thought it was just terrific. Adrian's likeability comes across so well and his stand-up is very funny (peeks into his family help explain why). 

I love promoting new talent (especially local talent who also happen to be menches) and I truly hope this award-nominated short goes on to bigger and better things and brings Adrian that much closer to his dream. If you can, please check out The Joke's On You.

*The only gin, darlings!

More, anon.
Prospero

Got My Tickets

While not quite the insane San Diego ComicCon, the Philly burbs have hosted a more genre-specific Fan Con called Monster-Mania Con for nearly 30 years, at a convention center in the South Jersey Upper-Middle-Class Philly burb known as Cherry Hill, NJ.

When Uncle P was a kid, the Cherry Hill Mall* was the largest and first of its kind. A trip there with Auntie and Grandmom meant coin-operated and ticketed kiddie rides; endless exploration of the late-60's and early-70's version of Pier One Imports; a new pair of something and maybe a toy (if we were exceptionally well-behaved). After the NJ State Fairgrounds in Trenton closed down, the NJ State Fair was moved to the Cherry Hill Race Track, though these days it is held in North Jersey at The Meadowlands and the old Fairgrounds are now the rather amazing Grounds for Sculpture, which I highly recommend visiting once every few years. But, I digress.

It has been nearly 30 years since Uncle P attended a fan convention. It was 1985 and my sister and I went up to Manhattan (can't remember f I drove or we took the train) to attend Fangoria Magazine's first ever Weekend of Horrors. It was... well, you can imagine. This was early on in Fan Cons and most of the space was taken up by vendors. We made sure we attended George Romero's Day of the Dead panel, where we caught a sneak preview that wasn't immediately shared on an internet which didn't quite exist, yet. And it was amazing. We met and spoke with Horror Icons Tom Savini and Michael Berryman (both of whom were lovely and appreciative of their fans); I bought books and a t-shirt. We got lots of free buttons (including a Back to the Future button I probably should have hung onto) and generally had a good time. Though we found ourselves to be... well... the least nerdy duo in attendance, that day. And while there were maybe a dozen or so cosplayers there, the term had yet to be coined and they stuck out like sore thumbs. 

On Saturday, August 16th, I will be attending Monster-Mania Con with two co-workers: My sweetly and identically insane Mia (creator of Teddy-Z) and the newest addition to our department, Chris B. Chris is a sports guy (go Phillies!); a far less-obsessive movie fan than Uncle P (honestly - his lack of the Essentials is appalling - but I'm going to take care of that) and a fellow performer. I think the three of us will have ourselves a grand time and cannot wait to attend my first modern Fan Con! I'll make sure my phone is charged and will take lots of pics!

If you haven't figured it out by now, yes, I am a HUGE Horror geek and can't wait until we go! I'll also be asking my compatriots to restrain myself when it comes to shopping...

More, anon.
Prospero

*Uncle P started my 20 years of purgatorial retail life at Bamberger's, in my local Oxford Valley Mall.

Feeling Old & Young at the Same Time

Uncle P?

In about two and a half hours, I will officially be ** years old. Regular readers have undoubtedly taken the time to figure out Uncle P's real age, though truth-be-told, I sometimes have to look at my drivers' license to know for sure. 

I don't feel or look my age (at least that's what some people tell me). A recent escapade with a a much younger partner had me feeling good, despite the pain in my thighs and glutes the next day (he told me he thought I was only about 5 years older than he was). 

All of my life, I have been genetically blessed. I was first served at a bar at 15 (yes, I know - shameful!) and since then have been confused for much older or much younger than I am. It's the combination of German, Hungarian, Scottish and Welsh genes that keep people guessing. Until my late 20's people have thought I was older than I actually was. In my 30's, people started guessing I was much younger than I was. I always win a prize at the "Guess Your Age" carnival booths. If I am anything like  like my late mother and grandfather, I won't start showing my true age for another 20 years or more. 

Of course, my premature gray hair (which started to develop in my early 30's) is a dead give-away. And I'm not sharing this as a boast. It's simply fact. Only my (shrinking) family and closest friends (and the smartest of my regular readers) know exactly how old I am. And that's okay with me. The old adage "Age is just a number" is true. In my mind, I am perpetually 25. Though in my joints and muscles, I often feel that I am 117. 

Here's the thing: One is only as old as one allows oneself to be. I can laugh at the most immature joke or pun while dismissing the right-wing attitudes of many of my contemporaries. I still love a good rollercoaster ride while decrying the mostly terrible state of modern pop music. I may be yelling at the the neighborhood kids to get the hell off my lawn, though I can still bust a move to a truly great dance song or get it on with a hottie 15 or more years my junior (TMI?). Personally, I have no intentions of giving in to my age, no matter what it may be. I'm just glad to wake up on the right side of the dirt each day! I just know that I'm not ready to retire from work or my favorite activities any time soon and I hope that will be the case for many years to come.

Happy Birthday to Me!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Progress You'll See this Week (45 Years On)

Eep! I can't believe I've been away almost an entire month without posting. Of course, it's been a very busy month which included my 35th High School Reunion (yes, as I've repeatedly pointed out - I am old) and a long-planned garage sale in my continuing quest to purge my house of 50 years' worth of accumulated junk. It was successful enough to pay for the new bannister I need before I can move in my impending boarder and replace the sonic toothbrush that gave up the ghost last week. But enough about me.

I couldn't let June go without a post about Pride and the 45th anniversary of the Stonewall Uprising that inspired it. On June 28th, 1969, NYPD Vice raided the Stonewall Inn, a mafia-owned gay club in Greenwich Village. Apocryphal accounts say that many were gathered at the Stonewall that night to mourn the passing of gay icon Judy Garland. Others say it was just a regular Saturday night, where gay men and drag queens had come to be themselves, away from prying eyes in the windowless club. Whatever the reason, the police choose that night to raid and tired of the abuse, the Stonewall's patrons finally fought back and inspired three nights of demonstrations, riots and protests against those who still held that homosexuality was a mental disorder with sexually deviant practices that were illegal at the time. That weekend sissy boys; drag queens; bull dykes and leather daddies stood shoulder to shoulder in defiance of police and others who labeled them 'perverts' to say they weren't going to take it anymore. 

In the 45 years since, the LGBT Community has seen many advances in our civil rights struggle. 1973 saw the American Psychiatric Association remove homosexuality from its list of mental disorders, adding it to the spectrum (thanks in part to Dr. Robert Kinsey, Dr. Judd Marmor and Dr. Robert Spitzer) of normal sexual behavior. 1977 saw virulent homophobe (and former Miss America) Anita Bryant get pied by a gay activist (she responded "At least it was fruit pie"). 1977 also saw the election of Harvey Milk to the San Francisco City Council, making him the first openly gay man to hold elected office in the U.S. Milk was assassinated (along with S.F. Mayor George Moscone) a year later by Dan White, who claimed junk food made him crazy (the infamous "Twinkie Defense"). Not long after, horror was visited upon on us in the form of a virus which was first described as a "Gay Cancer." HIV/AIDS ravaged the community in the 1980's. President Reagan (a former film actor with many gay friends, including Rock Hudson) didn't utter the word "AIDS" until near the end of his second term in 1987, after millions had already perished. Over the next twenty years, more and more of us made our voices heard and acceptance slowly took hold across the nation and the world.

After many lawsuits, it wasn't until 2001 that The Netherlands became the first country to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Belgium passed Marriage Equality in 2002, followed by Canada and Spain in 2005. Since then, South Africa;Sweden; Iceland; Argentina; Denmark; France and Brazil and five other countries have all made Marriage Equality law. Currently, 20 U.S. States have Marriage Equality on their books, including my own Pennsylvania (which happily took effect long before Uncle P thought it would). The remaining 30 states all have either had their anti-gay marriage laws challenged in court, or have been struck down pending appeal. Finally, I and most American LGBT advocates actually can envision Marriage Equality across the U.S. by 2016. 

Still, our fight for Equality is far from over. Many third-world countries have virulent anti-LGBT laws (particularly in the Middle East, Asia and Africa, as well as the current Russian regime) and many still view LGBT people as sick and/or perverted, along with many right-winged religious and political factions in the U.S. But for every Fred Phelps or Rick Santorum, there are dozens of right-thinking young people who know that gay folks are far from the evil, perverse child-molesters that Conservatives would have you believe us to be.

Of course, this is hardly a definitive or fully inclusive detail of the struggle for for LGBT rights, but I am so happy that the very closeted 1970's teenager I used to be has become an Out and Proud 2014 gay middle-ager with hope for the future of our younger LGBTs. Visibility is the key. The more Str8 folks realize they know and love queer friends and family members (as well as celebrities and sports figures), the better off we are. I truly hope that some day, Pride events will no longer be necessary and sexual orientation is no longer an issue. Of course, given the state of racism in the modern South, that probably won't happen in my lifetime. 

Never forget the events of June 28th, 1969. Let them (and the others since) guide us to full Equality in the near future. Celebrate and support the LGBT people in your life. There are probably more of us, than you realize.

More, anon.
Prospero