Goodbye, Thank You and a Few Last Things

The Party's Over

Well, this should come as no surprise to anyone. I reach more people on Facebook than Caliban's Revenge ever did. And it's quite obvious from the lack of posts that I have been, let's say "otherwise occupied," of late. My life has changed so very much since I started this blog on July 9th, 2008.

At the time, my intent was document the production process of a play I was directing. It was not only on the main stage of my alma mater, it was also being showcased at the first International Thornton Wilder Society Conference being hosted by said alma mater. The play was The Skin of Our Teeth. My concept was Steampunk and it was awesome, if I do say so myself! Of course, we hadn't even had auditions when I first posted and I needed something to talk about... so I posted about one of my other passions: Movies. Specifically, 10 Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi Movies that Need to Be Re-made. Which you can read right here, if you are so inclined. And since I'll be closing out with very same topic, you might be interested to see the differences between the two (several have been or are in the process of being made by now).

As I wrote more and more, reviewing movies; commenting on politics; promoting charities; raging against the machine; promoting LGBT issues or just being silly for the sake of being silly, I poured an awful lot about myself onto these posts. And enough people responded to make it fun. I met the amazing Stephen Rutledge and Stephen Rader (and a few other amazing folks) thanks to this blog. And I have corresponded with folks all over the world, thanks to this blog.  Since I started, I lost my mother and met an extraordinary man who came to me exactly when I needed him the most. The world, to paraphrase Tolkien,'has moved on.' And I, with it.

I hope I have entertained you; made you laugh or made you angry or made you feel anything at all. If I did, then I win! If not, then why did you bother reading? I am still doing lots of writing for myself and J has encouraged me to get back to revising some of my 'almost' screenplays, so I am going to do just that. And who knows? I may be back. I'd love to do a Home Cooking blog. Yes, I know; done to death. But by a gay bear who is REALLY good at it?

Anyway, below is Uncle P's final post on Caliban's Revenge:

10 Sci-fi/Horror/Fantasy Movies that Need to Be Re-Made

10. Something Wicked This Way Comes. Ray Bradbury's amazing novel was done a disservice by the Disney version. The novel was a significant influence on me at a young age and remains one of my all time favorites. It needs to be done right.

 9. Ghost Story. Peter Straub's terrifying novel is given very short shrift in John Irvin's eviscerated film version. A quartet of once-greats can't save this mess, though it did introduce genre favorite Alice Krige to U.S. audiences. A more faithful adaptation of the novel is long overdue, even it means a sprawling 3+ hours run-time. Straub's complex story deserves no less.

 8. Flash Gordon. Yes, I said it! Even the cheesiest of cheese lovers admit how queso this 1980 cult classic is. And trust me, I adore it as much as anyone else, probably even more. It is exactly the kind of movie the word 'Camp" has come to describe and it is it's own perfect thing. But in the character's heyday, Flash Gordon was a serious Sci-Fi Adventure tale and an imaginative, serious  reboot is certainly worth exploring

 7.  Frogs. With James Patterson's "Zoo" taking TV by storm this summer, I MUST talk about this 1972 AIP stinker about animals striking back, if only to prove that everything old is new again. Replace Sam Elliot with Ryan Reynolds; Ray Milland with John Mahoney Joan Van Ark with almost anyone. Seriously.... A doll whose lines are dubbed in by Andie McDowell, even. (Some of you are laughing VERY hard at that joke... I hope).

 6. The Exorcist. Yup. Still on the list. Because I've never found it scary! In fact, the whole 'head-spin' effect is so obvious, I laughed the first time I saw it. That wasn't scripted as a funny moment... I still do not understand the mass hysteria that accompanied the film's initial release. And yes, I understand that one must believe in the devil to be afraid of the devil...  But there are movies that have scared me. This just isn't one.

 5. The Shining. Kubrick was wrong! And while Mick Garris' TV version was closer, neither actually conveys the growing sense of danger and terror as King's prose manages to do. I don't know about you, but I would gladly sit through a 195 minute, R-rated Frank Darabont version!

 4. Mysterious Island. The unofficial sequel to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the 1961 film version of  Mysterious Island is set during the U.S. Civil War. It has a terrific Bernard Hermann score and some of Ray Harryhausen's most memorable stop-motion effects. A modern Steampunk version that is more faithful to Jules Verne's novel  could be a hit in the right hands. The 2012 version starring Dwayne Johnson does NOT count.

 3. Demon Seed. Didn't see that one, coming, did you? Dean Koontz (the poor man's Stephen King) wrote the novel about a woman living in a fully computerized house is raped by and gives birth to said computer's hybrid offspring. There is talk of this remake happening. The original is really... odd. 

 2. Logan's Run. I will always push for the movie this dystopian novel deserves. And yes, I am aware of the original's many charms. I still say "Meh." It could (and should) be done better. Persistent rumors of this remake happening make me think it might never be...

 1. The Haunting. The scariest movie ever made was re-made by an action-movie buffoon as one of the most ridiculous movies ever made. Like King Kong, it deserves a remake that respects the original. And I still dare any of you to watch Robert Wise's film alone, with the lights out. You'd wet yourselves, you wimps!

And so ends 7 years of "Opinionated Nonsense." At least on this forum. You can follow and/or friend  me on Facebook. To friend request, please send a Private Message with the phrase "Sea Monster."

Here's the thing:

"Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free."

No More, anon.
Brian

Mini-Review: "Mad Max: Fury Road"

So, before I start the actual review, I have to rant a bit. I am an AMC Theater regular. I cross state lines to see a movie at the closest AMC. The actual nearest cinema used to be a United Artists theatre, renovated about 10 years ago to include stadium seating in its relatively small auditoriums. The last movie I saw there (which was the first in a long time) was Lemony Snicket... More recently, it was acquired by Regal and re-renovated to include assigned seating in exceptionally plush recliners! Because J was at my house, and neither of two closest AMCs were showing Mad Max: Fury Road in 2D, we ended up in the Regal and J couldn't help but give in to the plush, falling asleep twice. But... I blame the seat, not the movie.

Anyway...

Original creator/writer/director George Miller (Gremlins; Babe) is back with the latest in the continuing adventures of a character he created nearly 40 years ago. Tom Hardy (The Dark Knight Rises) takes over for Mel Gibson in the title role, joined by Academy Award winner Charlize Theron and X-Men's Nicholas Hoult (Warm Bodies) in what is basically a 2 hour car chase through the Australian (South African) desert. Captured by the sadistic Immortan Joe, AKA 'Daddy' (Hugh Keays-Byrne - of the original film), Max is branded and tattooed an 'O+  Universal Donor' and soon finds himself caged as a living "blood bag" for a cancer-ridden 'War Boy' named Nux (Hoult). When Daddy's best war-machine driver Imperator Furiosa (Theron) goes rogue, Nux sets out in pursuit to win Daddy's favor, strapping Max to the front of his car. Furiosa is also soon in pursuit by The People Eater and The Bullet Farmer, impeding the deal she'd made to ensure safe passage for her cargo, Daddy's concubines (one of whom is very pregnant). As with Miller's previous films in the series, Max's will to survive is paramount, though his compassion and his need to do the right thing overrides his personal well being and he ends up helping Furiosa to defeat to tyrant (Not-Such-A-Spolier-Alert).

Of course, the story (as in all the Mad Max films) is really secondary to the action and stunts, and Fury Road delivers plenty of that! J and I particularly liked the guys on the poles who were able to reach in and snatch people out their vehicles. The performances are fine all around, though Hardy's Max sounds an awful lot like his Bane, particularly near the end. Theron continues to build her repertoire of tough bitches and Hoult is obviously having fun as the lost soul redeemed by love. The effects are superlative (I believed Theron was an amputee) and the visuals quite often amazing. Sadly, while Fury Road is most certainly a Mad Max movie worthy of the franchise, it can't compare to the franchise's decidedly best entry, The Road Warrior. Still, it was great, loud, mindless fun and the chance to hold hands in the dark with a certain special someone (even if those evil seats made him fall asleep twice)!  

Fans of the franchise won't be disappointed, though after all these years, I had hoped Miller might have something new to say about the character. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Mad Max: Fury Road is rated "R" by the MPAA for "intense sequences of violence throughout, and for disturbing images."

More, anon.
Prospero

2015 Horror Movies

I see you shiver with antici.....

...pation!

Sorry. It was very late when I thought of this post and I didn't want to forget to do it. 

Whatever regular readers I have left know about my love of Horror movies, good and bad. And I'm always on the lookout for some interesting, original and startling works. And 2015 seems quite promising for this jaded genre guru. 

Four upcoming Horror movies have particularly caught my attention with some rather intense trailers. And while I'd love to talk about Guillermo del Toro's Gothic ghost movie Crimson Peak, there isn't any footage from the closely-guarded film to share just yet. Still, these four upcomings movies are pinging high on my personal radar!

 First up, a film from writer/director Adam Green (Hatchet; Frozen - no not  the Disney one). In Digging Up the Marrow, genre veteran Ray Wise plays a man who claims to have discovered an underground realm in which real monsters reside. 

New writer/director David Robert Mitchell makes his wide-distribution debut with It Follows, an interesting take on "Tag. You're It!" Starring no one you know, the very atmospheric trailer seems like it could be the start of several careers.

Chris Sparling, writer of the claustrophobic Ryan Reynolds movie Buried, directs The Atticus Institute, about an attempt by the military to weaponize demonic possession. It's one of the most insane movie concepts I can imagine and I can't wait to see it!

And while this last movie is actually a prequel, I'm still very excited to see it. James Wan's Insidious was one of the most effective Horror movies of the last 10 years, though it's sequel disappointed. Wan's long-time writing partner Leigh Whannel makes directing debut with Insidious Chapter 3:

I know there will plenty more Horror movies in the coming year. What movies are you looking forward to seeing in 2015?

More, anon.
 Prospero

Why "Selma" Won't Win

Click Image to Embiggen

"Racism is dead in America." ~ Anne Coulter.

By now you should know how I feel about Awards shows in general. Admittedly, I'll watch the Oscars this year, just to see NPH (loved his lunacy on "American Horror Story" this season). Like most Americans, I have seen very few of the nominated movies. I've seen Boyhood (which I didn't care for enough to even bother reviewing) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (which I did review and honestly wanted to like more than I did). With the exception of Birdman, I honestly have no interested in seeing the other nominated films. Not that you shouldn't see them or that they shouldn't be seen. And while I guess if was a professional critic, I would have seen them all, but probably grumbled about seeing more than one. Oddly, the rest of the nominees are all biopics... American Sniper; The Imitation Game; The Theory of Everything; Whiplash and Selma are all real-life stories. Fictionalized, of course, for dramatic interest. 

But it is Selma in particular, which seems to have generated the most controversy. First, it was reported that the movie was historically inaccurate and portrays Lyndon Johnson as opposed Dr. King's march in Alabama and the Voting Rights Act. And then the Oscar nominations came out. And while Selma is nominated for Best Picture, not one of its cast were nominated. In fact, not a single person of color was nominated in any performance category. Not a single Black, Latino, Asian or multiracial person on the list! No Inuit; Pacific Islanders; Native Americans; Maori or Aboriginals, either. That's just... I mean, how does a film get nominated for Best Picture, without a single nomination for any actor that's in it or the director who made it? One might also ask how The Color Purple didn't win a single one of its 11 nominations. Or why Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash. Oh, wait, wasn't Crash about racism? Sure, but in a really awful, hit-you-over-the-head way that went way out it's way to prove a point. Plus, it didn't have any icky man-on-man kissing. 

Hollywood, that supposed bastion of liberal hedonism, is racist, sexist and homophobic. Now, I know I'm not saying anything new here. But the Oakland Tribune headline up on the right just put it so succinctly and hilariously, that I had to comment, especially when the country is about to enjoy a three-day weekend in celebration of Dr. King's birthday. It's like the Academy voters are saying "We like the idea of civil rights; we just don't like the people who are asking for them."

Selma doesn't have a chance of winning Best Picture on February 22nd. Because the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. 

For what it's worth, here are the trailers for this year's Best Picture nominees:

















So, I guess... Yay, White People!? Ugh! Oh, and by the way... F*ck You, Anne Coulter!

Uncle P used to participate in a charitable event every MLK weekend as my Day of Service, but they and I parted ways a while ago and I focused my volunteering on the JTMF. Of course, JTMF is all but dead (only our Facebook page remains), though a last gasp may be at hand with a project I'll be talking about (and directing again!) soon.

If you are lucky enough to be off, enjoy your holiday. Don't feel obligated to do a Day of Service because it's MLK Day. You should always fee obligated to do service whenever you can. But if you need a special day for it, so be it. 

More anon,
Prospero

Time to Say "Goodbye?"

Is it time to pack it in, kids? It's been almost an entire month since I've posted anything. I've gotten so poor, I don't go to the movies even half as much as I used to. The last show I did seems like forever ago, already and I'm battling an early-onset bout of S.A.D. Vegas, while interesting and another city off my Bucket List, wasn't nearly as exciting as I'd hoped (being poor is no fun in Sin City). And Thanksgiving dinner alone in an Italian restaurant -- even if it is one of the best Italian restaurants in town -- is hardly a Holiday meal. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my trip but I have no need to go back any time soon and I certainly wouldn't go alone, again. Still, it was better than my last Thanksgiving (shh... don't tell Auntie).

Uncle P's life has changed so drastically over the last 14 months... And while the promise of a fulfilling creative venture looms, nothing is set is stone. Everyday seems like a struggle... Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not going anywhere. There's depressed and then there's depressed. I've been depressed and have no intention of going back there. This is most definitely NOT a suicide post. 

It is, however, about the possibility of ending Caliban's Revenge. That doesn't mean I'll stop using social media. Hardly. I seem to reach way more people on Facebook and Twitter (even though I hardly use Twitter) than I do here. And who's to say I wouldn't start a new blog about something different. Food, maybe. Cooking is one of my other great passions. "Prospero Cooks" That could work. 

Anyway, this is just an end-of-year ramble which may or may not signal the end of The Revenge. We'll see how well I survive the holidays before making any rash decisions. Just know that I am thrilled if you still read me. I'd be more thrilled if you let me know you still read me.

More, anon (at least once more),

Prospero

PS - The trailer for Mad Max: Fury Road is one of the many things that makes me want to live:

BOOM!!!

Ciao.

P

National Coming Out Day

So today was National Coming Out Day.  I hope lots of folks did and are the happier for it, as am I. And while it's all well and good that we have an official "Coming Out Day," for many of us, coming out isn't or wasn't a one day deal. 

For Uncle P, the process started with a few High School Theatre girl friends, claiming then (and through much of college) that I was Bisexual, knowing full well that wasn't true in the least. Of course, Uncle P came of age at the beginning of the AIDS crisis, adding additional stigma to being a young gay man. And while all through my 20's and early 30's I had my fun, it wasn't until I went into therapy that I was able to not just come out to myself, but to to my immediate family. I was going to tell my mother on "Come Out with Ellen" day, but chose to do so a week before, steeling myself with a drink or three, first. She cried, not because I was gay, but because I had been afraid to tell her. Eventually, I started expressing to her which men I found attractive on the TV shows we both watched and we would have small conversations about why and whether or not we found the same guys attractive. She loved my long ago ex, Ric and encouraged me to find someone right up until she went into the hospital for the last time. 

I told my sister that same year, on the last night of my once-annual October trip to Florida. She was neither shocked nor upset, though embarrassed at having used the "F" word, earlier in the day (something that almost stopped me from telling her). To this day, she continues to not only be my BFF (I love you K & Q, but you know...) and a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, including Marriage Equality. I feel so lucky to have her on my side, especially given the stories we all know about families abandoning their LGBT members. And while there are still a few elderly family members (my Aunt and Mom's Aunt and Uncle, among them) who don't know - and as far as I am concerned, don't need to know - most of my cousins and few aunts and uncles know. And that's fine. They are all mostly liberal and accepting. And if not, the hell with them. I have reached the age where I truly don't give a rat's ass what you think about me.

For me, coming out was a long, drawn-out process which took many years. As I am sure it was and will continue to be for many gay people. But as more and more of us make ourselves visible, it will be easier and easier for those who come after us. Eventually (hopefully), 'coming out' won't be something anyone needs to worry about. Am I too optimistic about a Roddenberryesque Utopia where the whole word gets it? How  I would love a peek into the future a hundred or so years from now. I can only hope the smart folks win.

In celebration of Coming Out, here's the trailer for my favorite gay rom-com and sweet coming out story, Big Eden:

And here's a very affirming music video about Coming Out:



Own yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself!

Sending you love and support! Come out, come out, whoever you are! Know that there are many people who love and support you! I'm here if you need an ear.

More, anon.
Prospero

August Horrors

As the summer movie season draws to a close and all the major "tentpole" movies have been released, smaller studios are ready to waltz in and make a quick profit on relatively inexpensive genre films. While October might seem the logical time to release a horror movie, by mid-August, genre fans like Uncle P are looking for something darker and weirder to get them through the often artsy Oscar bait with which we are about to be inundated (not that there's anything wrong with artsy Oscar bait movies... there are plenty of those that I love). But once a Horror fan, always a Horror fan.

First up is the modern Southern Gothic Jessabelle. Directed by Kevin Greutert (the Saw series). Jessabelle concerns a young woman (Sarah Snook) who returns home after a car accident paralyzes her and kills her boyfriend. Moving into the first floor bedroom previously occupied by her late mother (something Uncle P is actually about to do), Jessie discovers a series of VHS tapes made by her apparently  psychic Mom., predicting what's going to happen to her. 

Yikes!

Next is from Quarantine director John Erick Dowdle. As Above So Below explores the catacombs beneath the City of Lights, an ossuary created to house the many thousands of Parisian corpses which could no longer be contained in traditional cemeteries via a group of young archaeologists looking for a missing part of history. Combining elements from and with any number of Gates of Hell movies,. As Above So Below looks like good a old-fashioned claustrophobic nightmare.

I would NOT go down there. Would you?

And then there's the curiosity known as The Congress. Robin Wright (The Princess Bride) stars as a version of herself in a film that comments about the illusions of beauty, reality and Hollywood. And while there are some who might argue that The Congress isn't a Horror film, imagine yourself trapped in an animated world where anything could happen. I think Ethel from The Twilight Zone might sympathize.Wright is joined by an amazing cast which includes Harvey Keitel; Jon Hamm; Kodi Smit-McPhee and Danny Huston. 

I'll be happy to see one of these films this month and delighted if I were able to see all three (as unlikely as that is). 

More, anon.
Prospero

Memorial Day Retro Review X 4 or: How I Got Netflix Back

Insidious: Chapter 2

Thankfully, among the many things my amazing sister did for me, was help an electronically-challenged old fart reset his Wii, which got me back to Netflix, where I caught two of the four movies I finally got to see in between visits and the work they did.

The first was last year's Steve Carrell box-office failure comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, a movie from which I think most people expected too much. And while it fails at being the Anchorman of magician movies, it succeeds quite well on smaller levels. Burt (Carrell) and Anton (Steve Buscemi) have been best friends and magical partners since they were bullied 5th graders. Ten years after signing a multi-million dollar contract to headline at hotelier Doug Munny's (get it?) new Vegas hotel, they have done the same tired show thousands of times and have been reduced to bickering strangers thanks to Burt's full-on Diva mode. In comes Criss Angel-inspired Steve Grey (a VERY in-shape Jim Carrey), who is clearly insane, and suddenly ticket sales for Burt & Anton are falling. At the urging of Munny (the late, great James Gandolfini in one of his last roles), the two try a spectacular new stunt, which goes immediately awry and splits the pair for good. Alan Arkin plays Burt's childhood hero as his patently crotchety old man, but it serves the role well and Olivia Wilde is the perfect foil for Carrell's antics as stage-hand-turned-assistant, Jane. Of course, the eventual romance between the two was telegraphed well into the first act, but was still completely unconvincing. One of my favorite character actors - Jay Mohr - has a supporting role of a fellow magician with the hilariously unlikely name of 'Rick the Implausible.' What struck me most about this movie was it's heart. You could tell it was made with love by people who believed in it, and it actually is a sweet story of friendship and redemption, the last act is so ridiculous as to make what's come before, meaningless. I went in with lowered expectations and came out surprised by it's goofy sweetness. ** 1/2 (Two and a Half Stars Out of Four). The Incredible Burt Wonderstone currently playing on Showtime.

Next up was Insidious: Chapter 2 on Netflix. I was very much a fan of the first film, but missed it's sequel's theatrical release and was excited to return to the creepy realm created by Leigh Whannell and James Wan in the first film. The original cast is back, though it was odd hearing Lin Shaye's voice coming out of the mouth of  'young-alike' actor Linsey Seim. Whannell's script goes a long to explaining why the events of the first film happened, though oddly giving the explanation an exceptionally Freudian twist (though the Mama in this movie puts the 'batsh*t' in 'batsh*t crazy.'

Performances are fine, across the board though it is apparent that Wan has lost his taste for horror (he has announced that he is through with the genre) and the sequel lacks the intense creep factor of the original. ** (Two Out of Four Stars)

Showtime again  for 2012's The Watch. Originally titled Neighborhood Watch, the title was changed after the shooting of Trayvon Martin in Florida. Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade form a Neighborhood Watch after Stiller's co-worker is found murdered at the Costco he manages. What follows is a weird mash-up of Science Fiction; buddy comedy and a d*ck joke every two to three minutes. Sadly, none of it works. That's not surprising since it's directed by former SNL writer/director Akiva Schaffer. The movie plays like an extended SNL skit with a fertility issues subplot that has little to do with the impending alien invasion they uncover. Nothing new. No surprises. Lots and lots and lots of d*ck jokes. I must admit to chuckling once or twice, but hardly enough to recommend The Watch. (Zero Out of Four Stars).

Finally and quite happily, the last movie I watched this weekend was also the best. Worst Best Movie is a very heartwarming documentary I've been wanting to see for the past five years, about the cult-status surrounding the 1990 horror movie Troll 2, which many believe is the Worst Movie Ever Made. I've seen Troll 2, several times. I agree that it is terrible beyond terrible, but fully understand it's watchability. Seeing the cast (most of whom were embarrassed to have been in the film) get their moments in the sun is quite fun and even inspiring, despite the obvious mental decline of one its members. I've been reading about Worst Best Movie for a long time and am very glad that I finally got to see it. If you haven't, you should! Nilbog! **** (Four Out of Four Stars). 

Vienna Waits for You

Vienna Waits for You

No, I'm not talking about the Billy Joel song, as much as I love it and everything on 'The Stranger.' I'm talking about the award-winning horror short from director Dominik Hartl for Glaciar Films. Spitzendeckchen (Vienna Waits for You) is a take on a trope that's been around a long, long time. Living Places/Buildings show up all throughout literary history. 20th Century versions include Tom Tryon's Harvest Home, Robert Marasco's Burnt Offerings and Stephen King's The Shining, all three of which were turned into films of varying financial and critical success. While none of the three examples I've sited end happily (and what true horror story does?), Vienna Waits for You at least ends appropriately. It's well worth the 27 or so minutes:

Vienna waits for you from Glaciar Films on Vimeo.

And here I thought CGI had killed stop-motion for good.

Here a a few trailers for films which feature similar themes:







Honestly, Kubrick's film, while brilliant, falls far from King's terrifying novel.

Even animators have visited the trope:



And in case you don't already have an earworm:



Fun!

More, anon.
Prospero

Cable Review: "Doc of the Dead"

Produced by and currently available exclusively on the EPIX cable network is Alexandre O. Philippe's 2014 release, Doc of the Dead, which tries to encompass all that is the decidedly 21st Century Zombie phenomena. 

Featuring interviews with genre icons such as George A. Romero; Tom Savini; Bruce Campbell; Greg Nicotero; Robert Kirkman; Max Brooks; Stuart Gordon and Judith O'Dea (Barbara in Romero's Night of the Living Dead), Doc of the Dead is certainly a fun (if not exactly groundbreaking) examination of the cinematic history which has led to the pop culture phenomenon which captured my imagination at a midnight showing of Dawn of the Dead in a sleazy little twin cinema in 1979. Before the movie started, the theater manager came into the auditorium to make an announcement. "This movie is violent and disturbing. It makes people want to smoke. This theater has a strict 'No Smoking' policy." Of course, as soon as the movie started, multiple joints, bowls and bongs remained lit until the end credits. While I may have left with a pretty good contact high, I was a die-hard fan of the newly emerging sub-genre.

Starting with Haitian-inspired zombie movies and working its way up to "The Walking Dead" and the film version of World War Z, Doc of the Dead manages to ignore tons of movies, including White Zombie; Lucio Fulci's Zombie; Zombieland and schlockmeister Uwe Boll's House of the Dead, though they happily show clips from Zombie porn parodies. Really? I must admit, however, to enjoying the part about Zombie Walks and immersive Zombie experiences. I'd love to take a crack at designing one of those.

In the end, Doc of the Dead doesn't have anything really new to say that hasn't already been said about the genre. But it's still fun for fans. Doc of the Dead is rated "R" for language, violence and gore. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). The trailer below is probably NSFW.

In full disclosure, EPIX aired Doc of the Dead just after it aired World War Z, which appears to be heavily promoted in the documentary. Just sayin'.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Most Egregious Thing You'll See This Week

I was a sophomore in High School when Annie made it's Broadway debut (look it up and do the math). The comic-strip on which the musical was based debuted in 1933 and was still in syndication when the musical first arrived on the Great White Way. It's ubiquitous anthem "Tomorrow" is one the late 20th Century's most recognizable songs and without it, we wouldn't have Sarah Jessica Parker.  The show has had two revivals, one in 1997 and another in 2012. It was made into a not terrible movie in 1982, starring a local gal with whom my mother shared 1 degree of separation, Aileen Quinn (Mom worked with Aileen's mother back in her Playground Monitor days). Carol Burnett and Tim Curry were the villains in director John Huston's fairly faithful version.

News of a new version slated to star Willa Smith arose about three years ago. Last year it was announced that Smith was out, replaced by Beasts of the Southern Wild Oscar-nominee Quvenzhané Wallis.All seemed well and good until we found out that Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher) and Jaimie Foxx (Ray) were slated to play Miss Hannigan and the updated version of Daddy Warbucks, Benjamin Stacks (get it? -- ugh!). Okay. Fine. Maybe an update is in order. Urban orphans are certainly VERY different today from those of the Great Depression. I have no problem with making older works relevant to modern audiences. I've set both Much Ado About Nothing and Romeo and Juliet in the 20th Century. A timeless story is just that, right?

Wrong.

Look at this trailer for the 2014 Annie and tell me it doesn't make you want to pull your hair out by the roots.

UGH! It's everything I hate about the treacly original show, combined with every unoriginal thought put to paper by modern, corporate filmmakers. Directed by Will Gluck (best known for teen sex comedies like Easy A), this shameless POS is a perfect example of everything wrong with Hollywood and the U.S. film industry today. The trailer makes it clear that this movie will undoubtedly be the miserable flop that it is destined (and deserves) to be.

More, anon.

Prospero

PS - A special thanks to my friend Sally, who first shared that clip.

2014 - The Year in Sci-Fi Movies

Well, at least the year in Sci-Fi movies which have piqued my interest, anyway. There are plenty of tentpole movies coming up that have me pitching a cinematic tent, starting in no particular order with director Gareth Edwards (Monsters) reboot of Godzilla starring "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston; Aaron Kickass Taylor-Johnson and the not-a-twin Elizabeth Olsen. 

Disaster maven Roland Emmerich failed miserably with his over-inflated 1998 attempt to reboot the Toho Studios franchise which started the Kaiju genre. Edwards' Monsters was quite good, though it was more of a character-study set inside a Sci-Fi story. The newly released trailer looks amazing. I didn't get to see del Toro's Kaiju movie Pacific Rim. I won't be missing Godzilla:

Andy and Lana Wachowski, who gave us The Matrix and 2012's wildly underrated Cloud Atlas, are back this year with Jupiter Ascending, a seemingly Jungian tale of a seemingly ordinary young woman who discovers she is the key to the fate of the entire Universe. Mila Kunis (Ted; "Family Guy") and a pointy-eared Channing Tatum (Magic Mike) star.

Christopher Nolan's (more on him in a moment) cinematographer Wally Pfister makes his directing debut with Transcendence, about a terminally ill A.I. scientist whose consciousness is uploaded to a mainframe and sets about to destroy life as we know it. Johnny Depp (thankfully not in a Burton or Verbinski film) stars alongside Kate Mara and Nolan favs Morgan Freeman and Cillian Murphy.

Marvel has four major films coming out this year, further cementing their dominance in the Superhero genre. Of course, Uncle P has never been a fan of Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man, so I will be skipping that movie. But I have every intention of seeing X-Men: Days of Future Past; Captain America: The Winter Soldier and the weirdest of the "Avengers"-related movies. Guardians of  the Galaxy.

Then there's the sequel to the Planets of the Apes franchise, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. The creator of Gollum and the most recent incarnation of King Kong, Andy Sirkus reprises his CGMC role as the sentient chimpanzee Caesar. Gary Oldman; Keri Russell; Judi Greer and Kody Smit-McPhee (Let Me In) co-star.

Then there's the "Found Footage" movie, Earth to Echo, about a group of boys who discover an alien in a very Spielbergian film from first-time feature director Dave Green:

Last, though hardly least, is Christopher Nolan's belated semi-annual birthday gift to me, Interstellar. Shrouded, as all of Nolan's movies are in secrecy, Featuring a huge cast of major stars, including Matthew McConhaughy; Anne Hathaway; Jessica Chastain; Michael Caine; John Lithgow; Ellen Burstyn and Matt Damon, Interstellar is about a space crew using a wormhole top traverse the galaxy.

As the Brits might say, I am chuffed for the upcoming movie year!  How about you?

More, anon.
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"Penny Dreadful" is NOT a Drag Queen

Photo via EW.com

I guess I lied. Or rather, changed my mind. I'll talk about upcoming Sci-Fi movies soon, though. I promise.

And I while know I have talked a little bit about "Penny Dreadful," a new trailer has recently been released, distracting me once again with it's style and tone and very interesting (if not exactly original) concept, as well as a rather fascinating cast.

A little background...

In 1999, graphic novelist Alan Moore ("Watchmen") created "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," in which several Victorian-era literary characters (Mina Harker, Captain Nemo, Alan Quatermain and others) work together for British Intelligence to 'Protect the Empire.' The series was turned into an infamously terrible movie with Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend and Shane West.

Building on that concept, while adding a decidedly dark supernatural element, Showtime's up-coming series "Penny Dreadful" takes that central premise and goes "American Horror Story" on it. Josh Hartnett (wasn't he supposed to be a 'Next Big Thing' once upon a time?); former James Bond Timothy Dalton; Eva Green and Broadway's Spider-Man, Reeve Carney head up the cast of this creepy, spooky, sexy series created by John Logan (screenwriter of Skyfall; Hugo and Gladiator).

My current favorite cable drama, "Shameless," is also on Showtime and will end it's (exceptionally gut-wrenching and hilarious) season soon. I can only imagine how much I'm going to love their steroid-infused version of TLEG via AHS.




I'm very pleased to see genre TV having such a renaissance. 

More, anon.
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Werewolves Are NOT the New Zombies

Tyler Hoechlin of MTV's "Teen Wolf"

In the pantheon of Horror archetypes,Werewolf used to rank just below Vampire. Since a little black and white horror movie in 1968, werewolves have been knocked down a peg or two. Obviously, all three are insanely popular in genre TV. MTV's "Teen Wolf" (which I gave up on last season) and SyFy's "Being Human" and their new series "Bitten" prove that. They have been less successful on the big screen, of late. I don't know anyone who actually likes the Underworld movies and don't understand why they keep getting made and Benicio Del Toro's 2010 effort to reinvigorate yet another Universal Monsters franchise (The Wolfman) failed miserably and season one of producer/director Eli Roth's "Hemlock Grove" for Netflicks was a total bore. 

Personally, I can name only two werewolf movies in the last 30 years that were actually up to snuff. The first is director Joe Dante's (Mad Max; Gremlins) almost brilliantly realized 1981 version of Gary Brandner's novel The Howling. Featuring the first real physical werewolf transformation on film (thanks to Rob Bottin) and a very funny script by John Sayles, the movie ultimately fails when Dee Wallace (as a TV reporter) has an on-camera transformation, resulting in something that looks more like an over-sized Pekingese than a vicious killer.

Of course, probably the best werewolf movie ever made is John Landis' An American Werewolf in London. Scary, funny and romantic, Landis' movie set a bar which has yet to be met.

Runners up: Neil Jordan's very dark re-telling of 'Little Red Riding Hood,' The Company of Wolves and Christoph Gans' 2001 Brotherhood of the Wolf. 

Unfortunately, despite the presence of the eye-candy that is Jason Momoa, the upcoming French-made Wolves doesn't look likely to bring the subgenre back.

Personally... Cats are way scarier (and sexier):



More, anon.
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TV Review: "Helix"

SyFy (I still can't get used to that silly name) debuted their latest original series "Helix" on Friday night with a double episode premiere. 

Set in an underground bio-lab in the Arctic, "Helix" is ostensibly about a group of CDC doctors led by Dr. Alan Farragut (Billy Campbell), who are sent to investigate a possible viral outbreak at the unregulated facility. Farragut is recruited by his ex-wife ("Supernatural" alum Kyra Zagorsky) primarily because the only surviving victim is his brother Peter (Neil Napier), with whom said ex-wife had an affair which ended their marriage. When Farragut and his team arrive, they are injected with RIFD's in their palms, which supposedly give them full access to the entire facility. 

Peter, near death with wildly fluctuating vitals and black blood when his brother's team arrives, somehow manages to escape his quarantined bed and rip his way into the facility's air ducts, using the severed hand of a security officer to access rooms now denied to him and spread the infection to other scientists. Meanwhile, a member of Alan's team learns that rats aren't the only lab animals in the facility when she is attacked by an infected rhesus monkey, after being told that no monkeys were present. It's obvious that something nefarious is going on here, especially after the facility's top scientist, Dr. Hatake (Hiroyuki Sanada), removes his contact lenses to reveal an unusual pair of reflective eyes.

I've been a huge fan of (and must admit to a massive crush on) the very attractive Campbell since first seeing him in The Rocketeer, a movie that should have done better at the box office and should have launched Campbell into an 'A-List' career. Most recently seen on TV as a disreputable politician in AMC's version of "The Killing," Campbell also starred as the leader of the cultish group of alien abduction survivors on USA's "The 4400," a show I loved and miss. He's still massively hot here and I would me remiss if I didn't admit that I'd watch him in almost anything in which he appears. That having been said, he once again holds his own among a cast of mostly unknowns in a series that offers few real surprises (so far).

Despite some dicey CGI effects and a storyline appropriated from several other sources (Stephen King's "The Stand" and John Carpenter's The Thing among them), I found myself thoroughly involved in and intrigued by "Helix" and am looking forward to seeing where it will go. And the upcoming appearance by "Star Trek" and "Body of Proof" alum Jeri Ryan will certainly appeal to both the str8 boys watching, as well as her many gay fans. Darker and decidedly creepier than my other SyFy favorite "Warehouse 13" (which is about to enter it's fifth and sadly final season), "Helix" has lots of potential. I just hope it lives up to that potential.

*** (Three Out of Four Stars).

More, anon.
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2013 in Film

Saw several. Missed more (and a few have yet to open). Here (via) are 2013's movies in review:

I have lots to catch up on...

More, anon,
Prospero

November Turkey of the Month

I couldn't let Turkey Month end without a true turkey, could I? Will Smith continues to ride the wave downwards with this 2008 stinker about the most unlikeable superhero, ever. Hancock may pose some interesting questions, but never bothers to answer them and it's hero ends up looking more like a dick, than anything else.

With no memories of his origins and lawsuits against him for the destruction he's caused, Smith's John Hancock is a cypher (if only). After his latest debacle, he his contacted by PR genius Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman),whose wife (Charlize Theron) just happens to be Hancock's immortal partner (or some such nonsense), doomed to immortal super powers (oh, boo-hoo!)

On a side note, no matter how adorable many of us may find Jason Bateman, there is little room in my imagination to allow Ms Theron to be his wife. 

"Breaking Bad" creator Vince Gilligan may have come up with the concept for Hancock, but not every idea is a good one. Poorly written and loaded with bad CGI FX, Hancock serves as just another notch on Smith's increasingly large list of bad movies. I was 'lucky' enough to see this movie for free while on a business trip a few years ago. I almost felt guilty about billing it to my expense account. There are rumors of a Hancock 2. It is my fervent hope that they will remain just that.

Given Smith's most recent track record, which includes Wild, Wild West; I Am Legend; Hancock and M.Night Shamalamadingdong's After Earth, I'd say Will needs a new manager. And while I won't go into the rumors about Will and Jada and their supposed sexualities, I will say that Mr.Smith might want to consider going back into the music industry. At the very least, he should teach his son to keep his mouth shut when it comes to education. 

In the end, Hancock is a truly terrible movie and certainly deserves the title "Turkey."

Ugh!

More, anon.
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Retro Review: "The Bay"

Netflix is a wonder, y'all. Why didn't you tell me about it before? Now I know it's not your fault. I'm not the best at electronics and thankfully sis set up my Wii for me (after having for three years) and now I have the service that put Blockbuster out of business. And because I do, I have seen quite a few movies I'd been reading about but missed their first times around (House of the Devil; VHS - a few others). Tonight, Michael and I watched director Barry Levinson's (Diner; Rainman; Toys) take on the Found Footage Horror genre, The Bay.

Set up like a documentary expose, The Bay tells the tale of a small Maryland town which is hit with an outbreak of a devastating parasites on July Fourth, 2009. Anchored by the account of TV news intern (Kether Donahue) and footage supposedly pieced together from surveillance cameras; cell phone cameras; video recorders; police dash-cams and Skype sessions, Levinson's film is both an indictment of corporate malfeasance and ecological indifference, with plenty of gross-outs along the way. Amidst the the Independence Day celebrations, the people of a small Maryland town along the Chesapeake bay are suddenly struck down by rashes, boils and other horrific symptoms which soon overwhelm the local hospital's ER and have the CDC at a loss. 

Unlike most 'Found Footage' films, Levinson doesn't rely on only one or two cameras to tell his story (Michael Wallach's screenplay is based on Levinson's original story), but uses a variety of digital cameras to capture the horrific events, lending an air of veracity often missing from many such movies. The performances from the mostly unknown cast (particularly Stephen Kinken as the confounded but dedicated ER doctor) are effective while the special effects are often quite cringe-worthy (in a good way). Levinson is a truly hit-or-miss director (I'm one of the few who actually likes the underrated Robin Williams fantasy Toys) but I think I have to count The Bay among his hits. Smart, effective and perfectly plausible, The Bay is almost reminiscent of The Ruins in its simple concept and execution. **1/2 (Two and a Half Stars Out of Four)

More, anon.
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Forgotten Gems: "The Bad Seed"

Patty McCormack as Rhoda Penmark

Talk about obsessions... I don't exactly remember the first time I saw Mervyn LeRoy's 1956 thriller The Bad Seed, but I know it was Mom who introduced me to it. (Oh, yes. She had a dark side, too ). Based on the stage play by Maxwell Anderson and the novel by William March, the film explores mid-20th Century ideas about DNA and Nature Vs Nurture.

Young Rhoda Penmark (Patty McCormack, left)  is the perfect child. Smart, neat and loving, she hides a dark secret. When Rhoda's classmate, Claude Daigle is drowned at Rhoda's private school annual Spring picnic, Rhoda is suspected of killing him because he won the school's penmanship medal over her.

As Rhoda's mother Christine (Nancy Kelly) delves into her past, she comes to learn that she is the child of the infamous murderess Bessie Denker and may have passed her mother's psychopathy onto Rhoda. Henry Jones; William Hopper; Paul Fix; Elizabeth Varden and the amazing Eileen Heckart round out the stellar cast as Rhoda's family and victims, most of whom reprise their original Broadway stage roles. Jones, as the half-witted handyman Leroy and Heckart as the grieving alcoholic mother of the murdered Claude are especially good, but this is McCormack's movie and she owns every scene she's in.

Yes, it has a mid-50's camp feel about it, but The Bad Seed still has the power to be creepy and awful. Of course, having been produced under the Hayes Code, the movie couldn't be released with the  play and novel's original ending (SPOILER ALERT) and young Rhoda is struck by retributional lightning at the end, though she survives in the original versions.

I have wanted to direct a production of Anderson's play for almost 30 years, but have yet to come across a young actress capable of convincingly pulling off the role of Rhoda, while trying to justify the play's mid-century values and still holding relevance, today (though gun violence-related events in the past few years have made me rethink that).

The 1985 TV remake starring Blair Brown; Lynn Redgrave; Richard Kiley; David Ogden Stiers and openly gay actor Chad Allen doesn't hold a candle to the original.

If you are a genre film fan and have never seen this movie, you should. If you have seen it, then you know why it deserves to be seen,





Again, give me the money and I'll make a version of this story that will make you poop you pants!

Mwuahahahhahahahaha!

More, anon.
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This Is the Best They Got?

Aaron Eckhart as a Hot Creature

Along with Dracula, Frankenstein and Frankenstein's Monster (or Creature) have been the subjects of movies since the days of Edison. 

Most people think of James Whale's Frankenstein and The Bride of Frankenstein from Universal in the 1930's. Hammer Films had their own version of the franchise in the 70's and there have been any number of stage and television productions of the story. Portrayed in various versions by Boris Karloff; Bela Lugosi; Lon Chaney, Jr; Glenn Strange; Fred Gwynne; Christopher Lee; Peter Boyle; Peter Hinwood; Shuler Hensley and Robert DiNiro (among many others) in I, Frankenstein, Aaron Eckhart is the Creature from Mary Shelley's novel, still alive after 200 years and apparently drawn into a fight with gargoyles or some such nonsense. The movie comes from the same people who keep making those deplorable Underworld movies. Eckhart and British character actor Bill Nighy (Shaun of the Dead; Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest) are the headliners among a cast of unknowns in a cheesy Underworld/Legion mash-up of some kind. Based on the "Unpublished" graphic novel by actor and Underworld writer Kevin Grevioux, I, Frankenstein is conceptually interesting, but...

Personally, I haven't seen a trailer ever work so hard to convince audiences to stay away from what looks to be an absolute piece of Winter Cinema Garbage.

I don't know if it's the ridiculous dialogue ("Frankenstein must be destroyed!")*; the atrocious CGI FX (1997 called, they want their Macs back) or Eckhart's impersonation of Christian Bale's Batman... Well, they all contribute to what looks like traditional January/February studio crap dump. It makes me glad they waited until after Halloween. Both Eckhart and Nighy are better than this. I just hope they invite me to the latest summer house it bought them.

*


More, anon.
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