Saturday, August 20, 2011

Five For & Five Against: "Final Destination 5"

Final Destination 5 has been out for a week, so I thought doing a full review was kind of silly. So instead, I thought I'd borrow once again from my buddy Sean at Just a Jeep Guy and do a quickie Five For/Five Against Review. You know the plot by now: a group of young people survive a tragic accident (this time a rather spectacular bridge collapse) thanks to a premonition from someone in the group, only to be killed one by one in a series of grisly and improbable Rube Goldbergian accidents as Death stalks them.

Five For:

1. The best opening sequence since FD2's amazing highway pileup

2. The first "real' kill sequence involving a gymnast's routine.

3. Using 3D in exactly the way it was intended to be used; cheap, B-Movie thrills.

4. Miles Fisher's hair, which like my friend George's hair, actually acts for him.

5. The best ending of all the Final Destination movies, which serves as a perfect way to end the series.

Five Against:

1. Some of the worst acting of the series (not that any of them have really good acting, but this one had some really bad acting).

2. Being subjected to P.J. Byrne's flabby, hairless, fish-belly white torso. What, they couldn't find a reason for one of the hotties to take off his shirt?

3. Courtney B. Vance once again playing a cop. Does the guy have no other characters in his repertoire?

4. Fryer oil doesn't boil immediately upon turning on the fryer.

5. The $4 surcharge for 3D. My ticket was $15.00! The theatre where we saw it was not showing it in 2D and the only other alternative was the $17.50 "3D IMAX Experience." No thanks. And for $15.00, I better be seeing an extraordinary movie. As you can imagine, I did not. Can you say "Rip Off?"

To be honest, I went in with no expectations other than gory, silly fun. And that's exactly what I got (though I'm not sure I got $15.00 worth). Those who love the series will not be disappointed., especially if they manage to pay the 2D price. *1/2 (One and a Half Out of Four Stars).

As a bonus, here's the video for Miles Fisher's new single, "New Romance," a delightfully silly tribute to both FD5 and "Saved by the Bell" (featuring most of his FD5 cast-mates).

More, anon.


Sean said...

Thanks for the plug - you can steal from me anytime.

I'm surprised with the 1.5 stars, you seemed to enjoy it more than that, like 2.5.

Stephen said...

You can't blame Courtney P Vance for the lack of imagination of casting directors... the guy needed a job & the pay was probably OK with some $ in the back end.. so to speak.

Prospero said...

Sean - I was going to say "Happy to plug you," but I thought that might not sound quite right...

I almost gave it 2 stars, but I had to be honest. This is NOT a good movie. It's a ridiculous B-Horror flick that only exists to exploit 3D gore. Plus, all the bad acting...

Stephen - If Mr. Vance played every cop he played differently, I would agree. However, the cop in this movie is indistinguishable from every other cop he's ever played. He also could probably use a new agent...