Thursday, July 19, 2012

Does My Broken Toe Trump the New Pee-Wee?

Wha' Happened?
A gentle summer rain is falling as I write this post. I can't think of anything more antithetical to what I am about to share tonight.

While I won't admit to actually being lazy, I will say that on occasion, I am wont to leave things where they don't necessarily belong. Especially shoes. My shoes often end up staying wherever it is that I take them off. That's mostly because I hate wearing shoes. I would rather be barefoot (despite the ugliness that is - are? - my feet). So when I took off my shoes last night. I left them in the living room, at the end of the coffee table where I usually sit to watch TV. This morning, after giving Skye his daily fresh water, I stubbed my left pinkie toe against one of those shoes, cursing and nearly crying from the pain. 

Uncle P - we've all stubbed our toes. It hurts. WTF?

Nothing ever hurt like this. Mind you, I have had  dislocated fingers; broken collar bones; splinters which required surgery and dental surgery from hell.* None of them have come close to this kind of pain. It actually radiates up into my ankle. And while I know there is very little that can be done for such an injury, the very angry dark purple bruise that has developed at the base of my toe is just another indicator of the self-inflicted injury for which I have no excuse but my own laziness. I'd posat a picture of the bruised and swollen digit, but would rather spare you the (literally) ugly details.

Of course, that pain in no way measures up to the humiliation recently suffered by one of my personal hero actors, Fred Willard (pictured above). What a segue.

I've been a fan of Willard's since the days of the bizarro soap opera, "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman." Willard went on to co-host the spin-off "Fernwood Tonight" as well as appearing in most of Christopher Guest's improvised comedies (Waiting for Guffman; Best in Show and A Mighty Wind) along with appearances on "Roseanne;" "Raising Hope;" "Modern Family: and countless other films and TV shows.

Yesterday, Willard was arrested at a Hollywood "adult movie theater" for doing what most men do at "adult movie theaters." Really? This is how the LAPD spends their time, looking for 70 + year-old guys whacking off in porno theaters? Let's forget about all the gang violence and heavy drug trafficking that goes on in L.A. No, we're going  to arrest guys who have their peens out in a darkened porn theater.  Truth be told though, if any comedic actor from this era was going to arrested for this kind of thing, I would have placed money on Martin Mull. Still, Willard now has something in common with Paul Reubens, though I doubt it will have the same effect on his career.

*Which instilled my dentaphobia (?) and requires a post of its own, someday.

More, anon.

No comments: