Tuesday, July 28, 2009

The Stupidest Movie of the Year

When I was a kid, G.I. Joe was a 12" tall, fully posable doll with flocked hair and "Kung-Fu" grip. He came with all kinds of accessories like Jeeps and rifles and was even sold in "Adventure Packs" Joe was big enough to date Barbie (though in my house, he was more likely to dump her for Ken, much to my younger sister's bewilderment). Joe's enemies were whoever the U.S. was at war with at the time. And if we weren't at war, he was out digging up mummies and rescuing people from dangerous situations.
Nowadays, G.I. Joe is a tiny, 3" piece of plastic. He's less posable and has even more accessories. They even have different names. G.I. Joe is no longer a character, but a group of mercenaries fighting an evil, Bond-like organization called "C.O.B.R.A." (an acronym which I am sure stands for something, though I have no idea what).
In two weeks, the geniuses who run Hollywood are releasing the latest in toy-inspired movies: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I just caught the latest trailer over at i09 and I have to ask, does anyone else think this is going to be the dumbest big-budget movie ever? Bad enough we now have two Transformers movies. Now this drek:
What saddens me most is that the target audience for this movie (boys 14 to 21) will eat it up and it will make gazillions of dollars, thereby ensuring an inevitable and even stupider sequel. Gah! No wonder I haven't been to the movies much this summer.
More, anon.

No comments: