Monday, July 13, 2009

One, Two, Freddy's Light in the Shoes...

This is a picture of the Nike Freddy Kruger sneaker. Why anyone over the age of 14 would want this shoe, is beyond me. Of course, the shoe is only there because of this post's title. JA over at MyNewPlaidPants (welcome home, JA!) has posted this link to an article on StalePopcorn about the absurdist nature of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Mostly, the author talks about the movie's overtly homoerotic tones. I don't know why the author equates "gay' with "absurd," but most of the rest of his arguments are pretty solid. And the movie is pretty freakin' gay:

As I read the piece, I couldn't help but think of openly gay director David Decoteau and his basically soft core gay horror movies. And in particular, The Brotherhood series, which now number 6. Take a look at this trailer for Brotherhood II: Young Warlocks, and see if you can tell what I'm talking about:

Brotherhood V: Alumni

Or this one for Brotherhood V: Alumni

Honestly, does it get more overt than that? TwitMagazine recently had this to say about DeCoteau. Personally, I think his films are dreadful. Stupid, badly acted and cheaply made, DeCoteau's voyeuristic movies put the 'dirty' in "Dirty Old Man." Sadly, horror (almost more than any other genre) is subject to formulaic story-telling and stereotypical characters, which means that LGBT characters in mainstream horror films are simply faceless victims played for laughs, or sexual objects meant for the masturbatory fantasies of middle-aged gay geek virgins (with apologies to those middle-aged gay geek virgins out there).

Personally, I want a horror movie in which the gay characters are strong and effective heroes. A slasher movie where the "last girl" is the "last boy." What's that? Really? There is such a film? Oh yeah, right. Well, almost. While it's far from perfect, we need more gay horror films like Hellbent the 2004 gay slasher film starring Psycho Beach Party's Andrew Levitas. Hellbent writer/director Paul Etheredge tries just a bit too hard, and what could have been a truly effective thriller becomes something more akin to "Gay Sexploitation" than "Gay Horror." Here's the trailer (don't watch this one, Janet):

The problem is getting a still fiercely homophobic Hollywood to embrace the queer writers, directors and actors who provide them with their hand-kneaded, high-fiber, high-protein, whole-grain vegan bread and their non-dairy, low-cholesterol, amino-acid-enhanced 'butter-like' spread. The solution, as always, is through being heard. Squawk loud enough and long enough, and someone will listen.

Personally, I blame the Accountants. They've taken over the studios and turned them into sequel/re-boot/recycling machines, based on business models rather than creative content. Creative, original voices are stifled by whatever is projected to make the most money. That's not to say that Hollywood hasn't always been about the money. Of course it has. And sequels have been around since the invention of the story. Some (though only a handful) Hollywood remakes are even better than their originals. But look at this week's Top 10 money makers. Seriously? OK - I must admit that I HAVE TO see Bruno. But the rest of those films? With the possible exception of The Hangover (starring the insanely hot Bradley Cooper), I'd rather be at the dentist.

Alright. Now I'm ranting about movies. What the hell is wrong with me? I guess I just need to see more stuff like the amazing Moon. Go see it!

More, anon.


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