Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Toy Movies

This week's big tentpole movie is Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I'm sure it will be the same mind-numbingly loud and pointless mess as the first one. In fact, it'll probably be even more so. Of course, a friend of mine is an extra with face-time in the thing, so I'm sure I'll dragged along...

What's worse, it stars the increasingly annoying Shia Lebeuof. Lebeuof infamously crushed his hand in a drunk-driving accident while filming and they had to write the injury into the script, so there'd be a reason for his hand to be all bandaged up. And teh boy is crazy. Ever listen to an interview with him? His father was carnival barker and he was clowning and shilling pretzels at age 10. No idea what his mother did (or does), but he said he though she was beautiful and he would marry her if he could, because she used to hang around the house naked when he had friends over. Yikes! No, thanks.
Now this movie, I would LOVE to see:

I'm not a big fan of movies made about toys. They seem to be just long, loud commercials (with the exception of Clue, which is a terrible movie for reasons other than being based on a board-game). The folks over at ComedyCentral have posted this amusing little short about this very subject (hope this embedding code works):

In all honestly I'd probably consider paying money to see David Cronenberg's Cabbage Patch Kids, David Lynch's Kooshball and John Carpenter's Alf.
I have heard that there are actually plans for movies based on Monopoly, Candyland and Ouija. Really? What the hell? Stop making crap, Hollywood.

More, anon

PS - Uncle Wriggly had better be in digital 3D, bitches.

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