Friday, September 2, 2011

A Few More Things I Don't Like

I am a fan of comedienne Chelsea Handler. I DVR her show, "Chelsea Lately" and watch a week's worth every Friday. And while I have plenty to say about the Chaz Bono comments and GLAAD's demand for an apology, I'm more offended by the fact that she had Snooki on as a guest. To me, MTV's "The Jersey Shore" is everything makes the rest of the world hate the U.S. 

These idiots (none of whom are actually from Uncle P's native New Jersey) have gotten famous for getting drunk, spreading STDs and generally acting like morons. Proving that she's a complete moron, on a recent episode of "Chelsea Lately," Snooki said that the ocean is salty because it is filled with whale sperm

Really? As Snooki suggested, I Googled "Why is the ocean salty?" After two very thorough and scientific explanations, the third result was an link for Urban Legends. And it is from this result that Snooki got her information. I can only hope the stupid bitch never breeds.

So, topping my second list of things I do not like:

Snooki, The Situation and Everyone Involved With "The Jersey Shore."

And here are just a few more:

"The Real Housewives" of anywhere...
"Barney and Friends"
Rachel Zoe
Clamato Juice
Sage Dressing
Purity/Chastity Rings
Crystal Meth
Bad Alfredo Suace
Cheap Cologne
Christina Aguilera
Saw III through VI
People Who Don't Flush
People Who Don't Use Their Turn Signals
Benny Hill
Bad Romantic Comedies
"The A List"
Mint and Chocolate
James Cameron's Ego
Westboro Baptist Church
The Pope

I could go on and on but I don't want to alienate fans of so-called "Reality TV;" Republicans; Catholics; Tweakers and anyone else who doesn't possess a fully functioning brain.

So, once again, something I like, a lot:

Come on, Alex. I know you have another great film in you...

More, anon.


Michael Offutt, Phantom Reader said...

Snooki does not care one whit that you do not like her. She has legions of fans and 2 million twitter followers. She could have you killed if she wanted to. That's how much people love her. For the record...I don't like her either :P

Prospero said...

It's so sad that being a fool can lead to a career. I'll be so very happy when her 15 minutes are over.

Stephen said...

Hold Back Your Feeling, Uncle P!

Zany, I also DVR Chelsea & watch all 5 episodes on the weekend. I love Chelsea.

People who walk 3, or 5, or 6 across on the sidewalk.

Politicians who don't answer reporters questions.

Mommies who smoke while holding their children.


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