The Funniest Thing You'll See This Week

Okay, I lied. But I honestly forgot the Academy Award nominations were announced today until I got to work and read it on CNN. So of course, I had to comment, briefly.

The only real surprise for me was the nomination of Up in both the Best Picture and the Best Animated Feature categories, something that might actually backfire and cause Pixar to lose for the first time, ever, leaving Wes Anderson and Henry Selig to battle it out between Fantastic Mr. Fox and Coraline. In fairness, have yet to see Fox, but I adored Coraline. I'll withhold judgment until I've seen it, hopefully before March.

And, no surprise, but still much to my chagrin, Avatar was nominated for Best Picture and Director. The more time that passes since I've seen that movie, the more I realize how manipulative and cheesy James Cameron's plot was and the angrier I get that audiences don't realize it. So, in response to the movie's nomination, I am posting the review I wish I'd written. From the hilarious Plinkett at Red Letter Media (the same mad genius behind this brilliantly funny review of The Phantom Menace), comes this viciously hysterical (and NSFW language-laden) 2-part review of Avatar (via Sci-Fi blog i09 and my cubicle neighbor, Sue*):

There's a special seat in hell for you, James Cameron... I officially take back a star from my original review. So there!

*And yes, Sue has a terrific sense of humor. At least... I hope she does...

More infantile churlishness, anon.
Prospero

"Let Your Mind Go Blank"

I know I've mentioned Avatar at least once, but I haven't really gotten around to talking about it in any detail.

Mad Jimmy Cameron is at it again, making the most outrageously expensive movie ever made, in the hopes of coming as close as possible to the success of his last most outrageously expensive movie ever made. Can lightning strike twice for the self-proclaimed "King of the World" or have the investors thrown 8 bajillion dollars down le toilette? Let's take a look at it from both sides, shall we?

Pro: Cameron has made some of the best Sci-Fi action movies ever made (Aliens; T2).

Con: Cameron made the worst Best Picture ever made. It may be the all-time box-office champ, but it's sappy and unoriginal plot went on for far too long and suffered from some of the most ridiculous dialog Cameron ever wrote. And to be honest, Uncle Prospero still doesn't get the appeal of creepy Dicaprio (just like I don't get the appeal of creepy Penelope Cruz). They may both be talented actors, but... ick! What, is it me, or is everyone else blind?

Pro: I'm almost ashamed by how much I really like The Abyss, especially the director's cut. Despite it's many flaws, it still has a child-like wonder about it and the early CGI is truly outstanding (though the physical set at the end is still fake-looking).

Con: Despite how much I like The Abyss, it has so very many flaws. Most objectionable (especially for my friend Elizabeth, who despises this movie) is this bit of nonsense (may be NSFW):

Pro: Cameron spent years developing a new kind of 3D camera that is supposed to revolutionize the industry.

Con: Can an audience sit through two and a half hours of intense 3D action without getting headaches or becoming nauseous?

Pro: Sigourney!

Con: Michelle.

Pro: Sam; Zoe; Giovanni; CCH; James.

Con: Aliens that may be too cute for their own good.

Pro: Hmmm.... let's think.... um... Oh, okay! How about this? Visuals that must be astounding in 3D, if the 3D is as good as all that time and money spent should make it.

Con: A not-so-original plot. Human's need to relocate the native inhabitants of another world in order to ravage the planet to mine an exceptionally rare and expensive ore. Of course, the natives fight back. Cameron seems to have borrowed pages from Custer's Last Stand; Apocalypse Now; Total Recall; Flash Gordon and Hello Kitty, thrown them up in the air and then tried to rearrange the whole mess into a movie.

Pro: Jamie Lee Curtis' hilarious performance in True Lies:



Con: Cameron's creepy obsession with the Titanic.

Pro: It's a return to the genre that spawned his career and one at which he usually excels.

I could go on and on, but then I'd just start getting snarky (who, me?). I'm still undecided, but the latest trailer looks a bit better than the first one did. I'll certainly see it, - in fact, I'll be sending the emails to the usual suspects later this week -- but I'm just not as excited about it as I think I should be. Hopefully, the movie will change my mind.

What do you think? Are you planning on seeing Avatar? Let me know your thoughts.

More, anon.
Prospero