Love and Death

Saint Valentine?

It's been a very long time since Uncle P has had a Valentine. In fact, I think I've mentioned before that the last Valentine's Day I celebrated, my date dumped me (the night after we saw Shakespeare in Love).

The photo to your right is of a supposed 'Holy Relic' of what may have been any number of Christian martyrs by the Roman name of Valentinus. Having directed what should have been a wonderful production of Michael Hollinger's play Incorruptible (a theatre story for another post), I doubt the veracity of any and all such 'relics.'

Nonetheless, Hallmark; Hershey's; Nestle's; Godiva; American Greetings; Zales; Jarrod's and the SAF (among any other number of retailers) have all managed to turn the legend of a Christian martyr who either died because he professed his love to a Roman woman or performed Christian marriages despite prohibitive Roman law (sound familiar?) into a money-making opportunity. There's no definitive story for this particular 'saint' and much like St. Christopher, Valentine's actual existence is often called into question. Like most modern Western holidays, I regard Valentine's Day as a shameless grab at consumers' money. If you are lucky enough to have a special person in your life, it shouldn't take a special day for you to do or buy something to show how much you love them. And the possibly horrific murder of a 3rd Century priest really shouldn't make one bit of difference.

If we're talking murder and mayhem, this is more my style:



More, anon.
Prospero

VD

So... Today was Valentine's Day. You'll notice they've taken the "Saint" out of the holiday. Valentine was supposedly a Christian martyr who may have, among many other myths, performed illegal Christian marriages. His remains are reportedly interred in Ireland. Most modern, right-wing Christians don't really think about the time when being a Christian was punishable by death under Roman law. Or if they do, they certainly don't equate that persecution with their persecution of modern minorities.

The image on the right is from a series of "Puritan Valentines" posted on CollegeHumor.com, though it certainly expresses the opinion of the happily dwindling number of people in the U.S. who think I and others like me are evil; possessed; mentally ill; morally bankrupt; perverted; unnatural; hell-bound; filthy; sick or otherwise corrupted.

People complain that Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday," concocted by the Greeting Card; Jewelry; Floral and Candy Industries to drive sales in early spring, after having drained consumers' wallets just two months prior.. Having spent my fair share of time working in many aspects of retail, I can assure you that this is partially true. Still, there is something exhilarating about romantic love and the idea of a 'soul mate.' While T and I exchanged Valentine's texts (his was particularly sweet) and talked tonight,  I can't exactly say we're each other's 'Valentines.' Not yet, any way.

As for the Day Job's 'Red Food Party' today, everyone laughed along with Uncle P and "The Tale of the Wrong Spice." I promised to make them correctly for next month's 'Green Food Party' (remind me to buy green food coloring). 

If you had hot, romantic fun times with your Valentine today/tonight, go you! If not, here are some goats that sort of sound like people:

Sorry. I'm "in a mood," as they say.

More, anon.
Prospero

Failure and Inspriration

Cinnamon Hazelnut Mochachino Rolls w/Cream Cheese Icing

It's been a while since I've blogged about food and/or the Day Job; and since we do have an 'any excuse for a party' policy, tomorrow is NOT a Valentine's Day Party in deference to those without Valentines of their own. Instead, it's a Red Food Party. I had no idea what I was going to make and had several ideas bouncing around and finally settled on a chocolate version of a cream-cheese iced cinnamon roll. But when I went to buy my ingredients, I went in a slightly different direction. The recipe called for a certain brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread, but I found a new brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread and a mocha cappuccino version. I debated... and decided to go with the flashier flavor and went off-recipe, even adding an ingredient. And I'm not sure it worked. In the end, I didn't care for the flavor of the spread (it had an odd after-taste), though I loved the cream-cheese frosting, even though I forgot to add the red food coloring -- and now that I know how easy it is to make, I may try my hand at a carrot cake.* The rolls look pretty good (yes, that's an actual picture of my finished product, taken with my Android). Of course, the ultimate judges will be my co-workers. If no one eats them, I'll know they're a fail. I'll try them again in a smaller batch, according to the original recipe.

So, I know I promised you something inspiring and here it is (via) comes the below video, part of The Campaign for Southern Equality's WE DO campaign, in which LGBT couples across the South apply for and are denied marriage licenses in an effort to raise awareness of the need for Marriage Equality. 

Matt and Raymie apply (and are rejected for) a marriage license in Morristown, TN. Of course,the best parts of this clip are Raymie's sweet, heartfelt speech; their families' support and the sweet, smiling clerks who are obviously supportive. Get your tissues out, (because you're gonna cry, pervs!):

How much have you fallen in love with Matt and Raymie? So I guess I'm officially making Matt and Raymie my Valentines, this year. T and I have yet to have a second date -- thanks to Nemo (ugh!), so I thought I'd celebrate another couple's love, instead. Thanks guys, for making your voices heard; for showing the faces of true love; for giving all of us hope. I hope the two of you have a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day.

*Uncle P's favorite cake, which his cake baker sister never makes him...

OH NOES!!!  MASSIVE FAIL!!!!

I took a small break from writing to get a drink and finish cleaning up the kitchen when I found I had made a fatal flaw! What I thought was a bottle of ground cinnamon was actually a bottle of ground cumin! No wonder I hated them! Here's a cooking lesson well-learned. Double Check the Label! And now I must make a trip to the grocery store for something on my way in. Crap! Double Crap! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

More, anon.

Prospero

Be My.... Braaaaiiiiiinnnnssss! ("Nebraska")

The last time I spent Valentine's Day with someone about whom I cared, he dumped me. That's right. We went to a romantic movie and then I bought him an expensive dinner at a 4-star restaurant, after which he told me he couldn't see me anymore. "It's not you," he said, using the oldest dump line in the book, "It's me." Pathetic, ain't it?

Which is why, even if I am in a relationship during February, I refuse to participate in the Hallmark Holiday. There are 364 other days on which to declare one's love. Why should I spend money on over-priced flowers, bad chocolates and a cheesy card on February 14th?

So tonight, after reveling in my work-party quiche win, I came home and finally watched the newest episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead."

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Wow. After the season's first-half build to the amazing reveal of Sophia in the barn, I wasn't sure what would happen. The episode picked up right where the last one left off, with Rick still holding the gun that took out Walker Sophia as the others stood or sat in shock. When Beth tries to hold her supposedly dead mother in her arms, the not-quite-dead Walker tries to attack her and it is the now-hardened Laurie who takes the Walker out with a pickaxe through its head. 

The new episode both revealed many characters' weaknesses (Hershel starts drinking again after more than 20 years; while Maggie declares her for Glenn, whom she barely knows) and strengths (Carol admits that Sophia died a long time ago while Laurie nonchalantly picks up a Walker's arm that falls off the truck on its way to the pyre). When Beth collapses (either in grief or from shock), Rick decides to seek Hershel out in the nearby town's bar. Hershel, finally admitting that the Walkers are dead, has given up hope, but Rick tries to convince him that hope lies in those still living. Meanwhile, Dale continues to voice his concerns about the increasingly dangerous Shane, telling Laurie that he thinks Shane murdered Otis at the high school in order to retrieve the ventilator which saved Carl's life (which, in fact, is true).

At the bar, Rick, Glenn and Hershel are confronted by Jimmy and Tony, who have traveled south from Philadelphia and want to intimidate their way into joining the group at Hershel's farm. Laurie, intent on finding Hershel so he can help Beth, has a roadside encounter with a Walker, resulting in an accident which leaves her trapped in an over-turned car. Rick and Hershel tell Jimmy and Tony that there is no room at the farm for them, resulting in a shootout which leaves both Jimmy and Tony dead.

Again - wow. I can't wait to see where the rest of this season will take our survivors. Fort Benning now appears out of the question. And we still have no idea what Jenner whispered in Rick's ear before blowing up the CDC. Can the volatile Shane be trusted not to kill again? And what happened to Merle after he severed his hand in order to escape from the department store roof? And will we ever see Morgan and his son again? So many questions...

Television's best Horror series continues to get better and better.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

It's Valentine's Day, so I thought I'd post about love...

Both of tonight's new clips are from Towleroad, for my money the best LGBT blog on the web. Andy Towle and his staff consistently provide the best stories relevant to the community, whether or not they concern LGBT issues.

First up is the trailer for Private Romeo, the story of eight cadets in an isolated military academy, studying Romeo and Juliet. Combining Shakespeare's original text with modern media, Private Romeo may well be the first gay film for the new millennium:

Written and directed by Alan Brown (Book of Love; Superheroes), Private Romeo is hardly the first time Shakespeare has been adapted for a GLBT film. Most recently, A Midsummer Night's Dream inspired a musical I still have yet (but very much want) to see, Were the World Mine:

Oh, what I wouldn't give for a bit of that potion...

Next up, Randy Rainbow once again allows us a peak into his romantic life, as he and Mel prepare to spend their first Valentine's Day as a couple. The fabulous Miss Coco Peru is on hand as Randy's and Mel's couples counselor and a surprise guest stops by. No wonder Randy is so conflicted. Warning - Mel's language is very NSFW:

So there you have it, the state of gay love in 2011. And we wonder why they won't let us get married... well, at least why they won't let Randy get married. 

I hope you had a fabulous V-Day! And remember, if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with...

More, anon.

Prospero

Valentine Schmalintine

Honestly, I hate Valentine's Day. And not because I'm currently single. Thanks to my many years spent in retail, I have come to think of it more as a 'Hallmark Holiday.' Florists; jewelers; crappy plush toy makers; candy companies; restaurants and greeting card companies are the only ones who really get anything out of it. And what they get is your hard-earned cash.

Historically (or rather, mythologically) Valentine was Christian priest during the reign of Roman Emperor Claudius II (not the one played by Derek Jacobi on the BBC) who married young Roman couples despite Claudius' decree that young men should remain unmarried so they were more likely to serve in the Roman army, or some such nonsense. Jailed for his treasonous behavior, Valentine fell in love with the jailer's blind daughter, whom he supposedly cured through prayer. The night before his scheduled execution (and subsequent martyrdom), Valentine wrote a letter to the girl, saying farewell and professing his love; signing it "From Your Valentine."

Now it just so happened that the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia was celebrated in mid-February. The festival, dedicated to Juno (the goddess of marriage), was usually when young Roman men lost their virginity to willing young ladies who wished to serve their goddess in this very capacity. But sometime around 496 A.D., Pope Galasius turned the pagan holiday (as the Church so often did with pagan holidays) of Lupercalia into the Holy Day of Valentine, and ever since, St. Valentine's Day has been a celebration of carnal love. Of course, it helped that usually not long after Valentine's Day, Lent starts and carnal desires are meant to pushed aside for 40 days of self-denial. In other words, screw away now, for blue balls are forthcoming. And "carnal" (of the flesh) is where we get the modern word "carnival," which has come to mean the week before Lent. "Mardis Gras," or Fat Tuesday, is a direct descendant of the carnival, a time spent in carnal excess. Which of course dates back to the Pagan rituals of eating the last of the previous fall's harvest in preparation for the spring, fattening up for the 40 days of self-deprivation to come (see how it all ties in, there?). I promise to save the Pagan origins of Easter for another time, but you can probably see where it's going...

Anyway - February 14th hasn't always been the most wonderful of days in history. Anne Boleyn was beheaded on 2/14/1537; Al Capone sanctioned the infamous "Valentine's Day Massacre" in 1929 and Roosevelt ordered the internment of Japanese Americans on 2/14/1942. Three years later, the bombing of Dresden commenced on 2/14/1945; Malcolm X's home was fire-bombed on 2/14/1965 and on 2/14/1989 the Ayatollah Khomeni announced the fatwah on Salman Rushdie for his novel "The Satanic Verses." Not exactly romantic occasions.

Of course, on February 14th, 1999, I was personally dumped during what I had planned to be a romantic dinner with someone with whom I thought I had a real connection, but who turned out to a superficial asshat. And no, I'm not bitter, I swear. I've had romances since then and I'm sure (or at least I hope) I'll have at least one more romance again. But damnit, I am sick and tired of this stupid "holiday" where single folks are left out in the cold while couples celebrate the death of a minor Catholic Saint with candy, flowers and folded cardboard sentiments that aren't their own...

Anyway - here's David Letterman's take on VD, from 2008:

Okay - another rant over. Tomorrow, watch for my review (finally) of The Wolfman, starring Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins.

More, anon.
Prospero