How Squee Is Your Deathmetal?

BabyMetal's "Hungarian Style." What the...?!

My college freshman godson Josh has apparently developed a rather Punk style sense of late, much to the delight of his mother and myself, 80's New Wavers who spent many a 90 Cents Thursday night at City Gardens, being served Kamikazes by the future Jon Stewart and dancing the night away to Thompson Twins; early Sinead O'Connor; Oingo Boingo; Billy Idol; The Plasmatics; The Ramones; The B-52s and so many more. 

Today, Josh's mom shared a link with him on Facebook about the latest Japanese musical sensation, BabyMetal. We all know how insane Japanese pop culture is. We acknowledge and even embrace it, shaking our heads the whole time. BabyMetal somehow struck a nonsensical chord with your Uncle P, and I just loved it not only for its outrageous bizzaro-ness, but also for the earnest performances of its very entertaining trio of 14 -16 year old singers/dancers known as Su-Metal; Moametal and Yuimetal. I haven't found a video for "Hungarian Style" (though I am dying to know how a Japanese Pop/Metal trio might interpret a good old Csardas) but the trio's first big single is below. Love 'em or hate 'em, here's BabyMetal with "Gimme Chocolate!":

How adorable was that? Of course, one hilarious commenter on Jezebel said: "Somewhere in Norway there is a metalhead in corpse paint standing in a forest crying tears of blood.” Yes. And somewhere in southeastern PA, a weird, middle-aged gay man is taking (and hopefully sharing) great joy in the absurdity that is BabyMetal. Of course, this is hardly the first time we've witnessed adorable gals shrieking to the strains of electric guitars gone mad. Remember last season's "AGT" contestant Aaralynn and her lovely little ditty "Zombie Skin?" I sure do:

They're so sweet at that age...

More, anon.
Prospero

It's On First

Sadako (Samara in the U.S.)

I have never been the athletic type, nor the kind of person who enjoys watching sports. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule - Olympic swimming, diving, gymnastics and wrestling can provide many hours of entertainment... ooh -- what a give-away! 

Of course, sport in the U.S. is all about competition, machismo and pain (well, at least when it comes to American Football). Baseball, the so-called "Great American Pastime," is just plain boring. But leave it to the Japanese to make baseball interesting. Well, at least the opening pitch. At a recent Japanese baseball game. the opening pitch was thrown by Sadako, the vengeful ghost from the Ringu series of J-Horror movies. This video (from a Facebook friend) says it all:

I would so see a game where Sadako (or Freddy, Jason, Pinhead or Pennywise) threw the opening pitch. Though I doubt they could do it quite as well as Sadako did in that clip. Freddy's glove would shred the ball; Jason would pitch it through the batter's head; Pinhead would throw a puzzle box and Pennywise would just drag the all the players down into the sewer. 

And since we're talking about Japanese horror and Japanese sensibilities, another Facebook friend posted the below clip from a Japanese "Candid Camera" style show:

Hilarious and rather mean, I don't know that I would have fallen for this, especially with the puppeteer's legs so clearly visible. Still, it's a prime example of how Japanese humor and horror seem to go hand in hand. Hmmm... kind of like Uncle P's sense of humor, when you think about it. 

Anyone know where I can get my hands on a velociraptor suit?

More, anon.
Prospero

H.G. Lewis Would be Proud

Who is H.G. Lewis, you ask? Why, he's the mad genius behind the 60's and early 70's drive-in splatter movies such as Blood Feast, The Gore Gore Girls, 2000 Maniacs, and the gem featured in the clip below, The Wizard of Gore. Herschell Gordon Lewis was a cottage industry unto himself, producing cheap, low quality horror for the Southern Drive-In Theatre market. His movies are terrible, bordering on unwatchable, though they have an hilarious charm all their own. And if it wasn't for him and his mannequins dipped in red paint and covered in porcine offal, we wouldn't have movies like Hostel or Saw, today (though I'm sure some folks think that's not really a bad thing...).

Anyway, Lewis' movies paved the way for folks like George Romero, Tom Savini and Sam Raimi, all of whom pushed the envelope when it came to realistic splatter FX and gore in film. I was much too young to see Lewis' films in their original theatrical runs, but thanks to the VHS boom of the 80's, I did get to see most of them. In fact, watching Wizard of Gore is one of the few times I can remember my sister actually swearing (the other involves sitting in the back on the Pirate Ship ride at Six Flags, but that's another story for another post). "What the hell are we watching?!" she asked, astonished by the crapulance unfolding before us. Take a look for yourself:

Wasn't that just terrible?

Well, fear not. Lewis' tradition of awful acting, insanely inane plots and Z-grade FX lives on in modern Japan. Ladies and Germs, I give you the trailer for (I'm not kidding) Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl:

Deplorable (and effing hilarious!). There are so many gloriously ridiculous things in the trailer alone, I lost count. The bolts in Frankenstein Girl's face; the Wrist-Cutters Convention; the cigarette fiend teacher; the skull popping out of someone's head; the face chewing... it's almost too much to handle! The movie was apparently made by the same folks who gave us Tokyo Gore Police:

And The Machine Girl:

Drill bra?! Good Lord! Deliciously dreadful and hilariously over-the-top, these movies are now on my "Must See" list. I can only hope that they are as good (or better) than Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter (of which I am the proud owner of a DVD copy - I got it as a gift from my Secret Santa at work a few years ago).

So, does anyone know where I can score copies of these gems? I'd kick a baby to see them (no, not really- it's just an expression. Chill, okay?).

More, anon.
Prospero

The Weirdest Thing You'll See This Week

This video (via) is an ad for MAC Cosmetics "Hello Kitty" line. For those of you unfamiliar, Hello Kitty is a brand of children's products from Japan. As with all Japanese pop culture, Hello Kitty is is insanely popular in the Land of the Rising Sun. You can even get Hello Kitty rifles, wedding dresses and headstones. My friend Janet doesn't care for MAC products. She says they feel too heavy on her face, which I suppose, is why they are the preferred brand among "gender illusionists" (drag queens, folks) around the world. I have no idea what this ad is trying to say. It's just weird.

Sort of like "Alice in Wonderland" meets "The Wizard of Oz" in Tokyo on acid. And you were there... and you were there... and you were there, too. Except you had a giant, black plastic Hello Kitty head.

More, anon.
Prospero