Mini Reviews - "X-Men: Days of Future Past;" "Horns;" "Magic in the Moonlight."

One of the many benefits of traveling for my day job is the opportunity to catch up on films I missed in theaters at no additional expense to me. This past weekend's jaunt to San Francisco was no exception and I was able to see two newish movies while flying and a current release in my hotel room. 

First up, Alexandre Aja's take on Joe Hill's second novel, Horns. I read 'Horns' over a few nights while staying at my sister's a few years ago, and while I liked it a lot, I thought his first novel, 'Heart-Shaped Box' was better. (Hill, if you don't know, is the son of prolific genre novelist Stephen King, writing under his mother's maiden name). Ig Parrtish (Daniel Radcliffe) is accused of murdering his long-time love Merrin (Juno Temple). When he suddenly sprouts what appear to be demonic horns on his forehead, Ig finds those he encounters incapable of telling him anything but the worst secrets about themselves. Determined to find Merrin's true killer, Ig tears through his Pacific Northwest hometown, exposing the worst among it's residents, including his own family. Aja (High Tension; The Hills Have Eyes) displays his distinctive look in full, giving Horns a very in-your-face style. Radcliffe is impressive in the role, though some may find Harry Potter swearing and having sex a little off-putting. Supporting performances from James Remar; Kathleen Quinlan; Heather Grahame and David Morse are excellent, across the board, though Temple seemed a little flat in a role which consisted entirely of flashbacks. While some critics truly disliked Horns, I thought it a fairly faithful adaptation with some interesting FX and an hilarious comment on the secrets we all try to keep from one another. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Horns is rated 'R' for "sexual content, some graphic nudity, disturbing violence including a sexual assault, language and drug use." 

Next was director Bryan Singer's newest entry in the franchise he created, X-Men: Days of Future Past. While I've always had issues with time-travel story lines, Singer manages to almost seamlessly combine the casts of both timelines in the series in a story revolving around a group of genetically-altered robots used to root out and destroy mutants. With a plot too convoluted to go into in a mini-review and Hugh Jackman's obviously aging Wolverine as a character who doesn't age, Days of Future Past somehow works, despite minimal appearances from the franchise's most famous members. "American Horror Story" cutie Evan Peters and "Game of  Thrones" alum Peter Dinklage join the growing number of terrific actors to appear in the franchise. Great FX and some complex performances from James McAvoy; Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence help make Days... one of the better entries in the franchise. *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars Out of Four). Rated 'PG-13' for "sequences of intense sci-fi violence and action, some suggestive material, nudity and language."

Finally, comes prolific director Woody Allen's latest period piece, Magic in the Moonlight. Set mostly in the south of France in 1928, Magic... is the story of a magician and psychic debunker (Colin Firth) who is pressed by a friend and fellow magician (Simon McBurney) to reveal the fakery of an American medium (Emma Stone). What follows is a rather dull and predictable story in which Firth's character is fooled by and eventually falls in love with Stone's. Allen's oft-studied themes of religion and atheism are at the core, but it's nothing we haven't seen from him before. Supporting performances from Hamish Linklater; Marcia Gay Harden and Jackie Weaver and some lovely period costumes and set-pieces make the movie a bit more palatable, but I haven't seen an Allen film I've loved in a long time. There is really nothing new or interesting about Magic in the Moonlight and I think it may finally signal the call for the once-hilariously brilliant filmmaker to retire.  ** (Two Out of Four Stars) Magic in the Moonlight is rated PG-13 for " a brief suggestive comment, and smoking throughout."

More, anon.
Prospero 

New 80's Music; Lip Dubs & Other Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Uncle P Was Here

So far, this weekend has been really excellent and this year's fourth quarter seems to be (finally) starting out to be better than last year's. After a terrifically fun & funny dinner and drinks with five other close co-workers (the official closed Facebook invite was called "Drink and Bitch") I came home on Friday, not quite ready to call it a night. So I hopped in the shower, changed and headed toward Southeastern PA's gay Mecca, New Hope and had a very fun evening which included getting to see my favorite comedian/bartender Adrian Colon (among other things; wink-wink, nudge-nudge). 

Today, Uncle P got to spend time with some dear young theatre friends at the Philadelphia Fall Festival (photo above), held in Center City's 'Gayborhood.' Tons of amazing food, cocktails and craft beers (I had a particularly delicious raspberry ale that was amazingly subtle and not sweet at all) as well as vendors and artists and tons of live entertainment from all over the region. We left around 3:30 (taking an hilariously unnecessary route back to the garage where we'd parked, but encountering a very cool, functional R2D2 because of it) and the increasing crowd was already becoming increasingly inebriated. I think we got out while the gettin' was good. Oddly, for what was promoted as an LGBT event, there very few LGBT-related booths or activities. After coming home, I ran some errands, defrosted the meats for tomorrow's Meatloaf Florentine and caught up on "Gray's Anatomy" (shut it!). After checking Facebook, I went to visit a few of my usual cyber-haunts, where I found a few music videos which I just had to share, because I loved them (and you should too).

First up (via) is The Department, with their decidedly 80's sounding and looking "As If Transformed." Electronica Lives!

Wow! That takes me back! 

Next (also via) is proof that artists and art everywhere. This weird, wonderful and super-fun single-take lip dub of Kiesza's "Hideaway" is just amazing and deserves to go viral.

Of course, Kiesza's original single-take video is pretty amazing, too.

Last, though hardly least (and to keep 'The Gayest Thing' tag relevant), the very adorable Berkshire Boys are back with their lip-dub of Demi Lovato's over-played "Really Don't Care." They're so cute, you can forgive one more listen!

All this and I still have a Sunday evening first date to look forward to. Whee! Yes, I still have my moments, but after Bluebird and these past few weekends, I'm finally starting to really feel like myself, again. And while I am always loathe to quote a criminal One Percenter, "That's a good thing." 

More, anon.
Prospero

Kaiju New and Old, Among Other Nonsense

One of the many things I do love 

about the Day Job is that we follow an academic schedule. If schools are closed for a holiday, we usually are, as well. This Labor Day weekend will mark the start of Hell Week for Uncle P's return to the stage for the first time since my mother passed away, "Bluebird" which also marks my debut with the Langhorne Players. I am appearing as two very different characters in Simon Stephens' fascinating 1998 play about a night in the life of a London mini-cab driver and how his various fares relate to and inform his own story. I love both characters and love that I get to do two different accents in the same show. K came over tonight to help with lines (she is half--jokingly referred to among our circle of friends as the "Line Nazi"). I came in two weeks late and while I find both characters so compelling, memorization and short rehearsal periods only work well with shows I've done before or know really well. Thank goodness she came and helped. I feel so much better about opening in less than 6 days!

But that's not really what this post is about and I apologize for rambling (sort of).

Because I really want to talk about finally seeing Guillermo del Toro's Kaiju V. Giant Robots movie, Pacific Rim. I must say, I think del Toro was given short-shrift hen it came to reviews of yet another visually stunning movie from the genius who has given us Pan's Labyrinth The Devil's Backbone  and the Hellboy movies. And while del Toro always tries to make his films be about more than amazing visuals, when it comes to the Kaiju genre, there really isn't a lot of room for compelling characters, though co-writers del Toro and Travis Beacham (Clash of the Titans) do their best. The very fine Charlie Hunnam ("The Sons of Anarchy") leads a cast which includes Idris Elba (using his own accent, which only makes him sexier); Charlie Day ("It's Always Sunny in Philadephia"); "Torchwood" alum Burn Gorman and del Toro (and genre) favorite Ron Perlman in a very funny cameo as a dealer of exotic Kaiju parts. Amongst the explosions and destruction, there are plenty of moments that illicit the requisite relief laughter and moments of heroic sacrifice. You really can't ask for more from a Kaiju movie, and those who love the genre will totally get it.. *** (Three out of Four Stars)

Growing up in the 60's and 70's, there was plenty of Kaiju (though I didn't learn that word until much later) on TV. Toho Studio's "Godzilla" movies and their many spin-offs were regular Saturday afternoon fare on UHF channels (if you know what UHF was, you're probably as ancient as Uncle P) and after-school programming always included Tsuburaya Productions' TV show, "Ultraman." A benevolent alien pursues a monster to Earth, accidentally colliding with Science Patrol Officer Hiyata. Fusing with Hiyata, Ultraman is evoked using the Beta Capsule (which resembled a red, glowing vibrator, if memory serves) and Hiyata is transformed into a gigantic, Kaiju-killing machine:

For del Toro, Kaiju is obviously an extension of his desire to adapt H.P. Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness." I do hope a studio finally realizes that it would have to be a hard R, and would still make tons of money. Have they forgotten The Exorcist and The Silence of the Lambs? Both iconic films and iconic Horror,

More, anon.
Prospero

Got My Tickets

While not quite the insane San Diego ComicCon, the Philly burbs have hosted a more genre-specific Fan Con called Monster-Mania Con for nearly 30 years, at a convention center in the South Jersey Upper-Middle-Class Philly burb known as Cherry Hill, NJ.

When Uncle P was a kid, the Cherry Hill Mall* was the largest and first of its kind. A trip there with Auntie and Grandmom meant coin-operated and ticketed kiddie rides; endless exploration of the late-60's and early-70's version of Pier One Imports; a new pair of something and maybe a toy (if we were exceptionally well-behaved). After the NJ State Fairgrounds in Trenton closed down, the NJ State Fair was moved to the Cherry Hill Race Track, though these days it is held in North Jersey at The Meadowlands and the old Fairgrounds are now the rather amazing Grounds for Sculpture, which I highly recommend visiting once every few years. But, I digress.

It has been nearly 30 years since Uncle P attended a fan convention. It was 1985 and my sister and I went up to Manhattan (can't remember f I drove or we took the train) to attend Fangoria Magazine's first ever Weekend of Horrors. It was... well, you can imagine. This was early on in Fan Cons and most of the space was taken up by vendors. We made sure we attended George Romero's Day of the Dead panel, where we caught a sneak preview that wasn't immediately shared on an internet which didn't quite exist, yet. And it was amazing. We met and spoke with Horror Icons Tom Savini and Michael Berryman (both of whom were lovely and appreciative of their fans); I bought books and a t-shirt. We got lots of free buttons (including a Back to the Future button I probably should have hung onto) and generally had a good time. Though we found ourselves to be... well... the least nerdy duo in attendance, that day. And while there were maybe a dozen or so cosplayers there, the term had yet to be coined and they stuck out like sore thumbs. 

On Saturday, August 16th, I will be attending Monster-Mania Con with two co-workers: My sweetly and identically insane Mia (creator of Teddy-Z) and the newest addition to our department, Chris B. Chris is a sports guy (go Phillies!); a far less-obsessive movie fan than Uncle P (honestly - his lack of the Essentials is appalling - but I'm going to take care of that) and a fellow performer. I think the three of us will have ourselves a grand time and cannot wait to attend my first modern Fan Con! I'll make sure my phone is charged and will take lots of pics!

If you haven't figured it out by now, yes, I am a HUGE Horror geek and can't wait until we go! I'll also be asking my compatriots to restrain myself when it comes to shopping...

More, anon.
Prospero

*Uncle P started my 20 years of purgatorial retail life at Bamberger's, in my local Oxford Valley Mall.

Food, Glorious Food?

Yes, It's Real!

Yes, that is a slice of scorpion pizza, which is supposedly for sale at the Calgary Stampede this summer. Fans of cable celebrities Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown have long seen scorpions and tarantulas offered up as street food snacks in Asian and South American countries. There are protein bars on the market made from cricket flour, while insects and arachnids are staples in many non-Western diets. I had chocolate-covered ants, once. It was like a Nestle Crisp bar. And I really don't mind the idea of cricket flour, as long as I don't feel legs and antennae in my mouth. That's the biggest problem I have with this pizza. I can only imagine it's like biting into an unshelled shrimp. UGH! I'd rather eat anchovies. And I LOATHE anchovies.* That very comment led to a discussion of fish (naturally) with a Facebook friend. Like myself, Pam doesn't eat much fish. 

For Uncle P, it's cod; flounder; shrimp; crab (in crab-cakes only), scallops and clams (fried only - which means I haven't had clams in forever); tuna, though NEVER hot! Nothing salty, slimy or fishy. Nothing unborn or unhatched and NEVER anything that has tentacles or is an eel of any kind. All seafood MUST be fully cooked, ONLY. Don't give me raw tuna and charge me $30 for a 'steak.' That's like paying for the flu. I will always prefer battered and fried, but have learned to like some things grilled and others broiled. If I MUST eat clam chowder, it's Manhattan style (I NEVER eat any kind of chowder). Oh, and I do like conch fritters with a nice remoulade or papaya chutney with a side of deep-fried dill pickle chips.

Last weekend, Uncle P and his regular band of foodies got together for yet another of our themed dinner parties. Thankfully, the theme was NOT 'Seafood.' It was, however, another particularly successful meal. Breakfast for Dinner included gigantic, fluffy waffles; sausage meatballs; bagels; a supper-yummy hash-brown casserole; citrus scones; clotted cream and assorted jams, preserves and syrups all topped of with pineapple/orange Mimosas. I haven't found a name for that particular combination, so if you think of a good one before I do, I'll give you full credit. My dish was a variation of a recipe I found on Facebook: a breakfast ring of eggs, cheese, veggies and pastry, served with salsa. The photo below does not include the final layer of cheese on the top. And no, it is NOT burnt on the right. My lame kitchen lighting makes everything look darker than it actually is. 

Uncle P's Breakfast Ring

On Tuesday, most of the first floor at the Day Job will be holding a Cinqo de Sies party (I know... ) and I was going crazy as to what to make. I needed something easy that didn't need heating. I found some pasta and beans and an interesting vinegar and decided to create a new recipe I call "Fiesta Salad." Too Corny? Too Martha? Too gay? I will say this: White Pineapple Vinaigrette. Yes, you read that correctly. I received it as part of a gift of several specialty vinegars from a local presser called "Olive n Grape." It seems to pair quite nicely with the peppers and green onions in the mix. If it's a hit, I'll share the recipe. If it flops, we shall never speak of this again.I think it's yummy, even if I undercooked the pasta by just a bit... More dressing will fix that, I hope... It has a while to marry.

I love to cook and love it when people like what I cook. I hate cooking for just myself. Tonight I tried a Parmesan-crusted chicken that was not bad but not what I'd hoped it would be. The brown rice and peas side-dish I made to go along with it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I ended up toasting half an egg bagel and spreading it with butter and an all fruit raspberry preserve with fiber. That seemed to do the trick. 

Of course, despite all these carb-loaded meals I seem to be having, I have lost 16 pounds since October, without trying. My appetite seems to have diminished quite a bit and I rarely find myself finishing everything on my plate (and I NEVER go back for seconds anymore). I'm not sure if that's anxiety or a manifestation of grief or something else altogether. I take supplements (my sister finally convinced me to include CO-Q-10) and try to eat plenty of fiber and protein, though I'll admit I should eat more vegetables. And it's not that I don't like them. I do. But the way many markets package produce (I'm looking at you, asparagus) makes it difficult to by some of them for just one person. Packaged salads and greens go bad before I can use all of them and loose versions of the same products end up being even more wasteful. Ask the dried-out asparagus and nasty Brussels sprouts I just threw away. And don't tell me to can and/or freeze them. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

*And my dear Q is allergic to them, so feh!

More, anon.
Prospero

Someone Knows and Loves Me

Oh, Baby!

So... I came home from the Day Job today, glad that tomorrow will be both Friday and Payday. I got out of my car and went to my mailbox (as I do every day) to find a catalog (the corner of which cane be seen in the upper right of the photo) and a rather strange box. Inside the box, wrapped in cellophane and surrounded by red tissue paper, I found an Eyeless Baby Doll's Head. 

I must admit, I was a little freaked out, at first. "What the hell...?" I thought. "Is someone targeting me?"

Then I saw the silver ribbons and the nightlight attached to said Eyeless Baby Doll's Head and started to laugh. 

Sometime in the last few weeks, I had posted a photo of a lamp made from a ceramic doll head on Facebook. It was creepy and funny and I loved it. I quickly realized the Eyeless Baby Doll's Head nightlight was a gift from someone who knew me well and lived nearby, even though there was no card or note included. I immediately posted the picture on your left to Facebook, noting that it had arrived quite unexpectedly and thanking whomever had sent it to me. While I have an idea as to who gave me this delightfully macabre gift, I can't be sure until the giver fesses up. 

The best part? The bulb inside is red! Plugging it in revealed a ghoulishly hilarious night light that I hope will both delight and creep-out the friends who see it. 

Thank you, anonymous Eyeless Baby Doll's Head nightlight giver! I truly love and appreciate this gift, more than you can imagine. A scare, a laugh and the the knowledge that someone cares enough to entertain me in such a way was a huge spirit lifter (albeit a slightly macabre one). My friends never cease to amaze me.

More, anon.

Prospero

Snow Day Part Deux (of Trois?)

Today was yet another rare Snow Day at Uncle P's Day Job. I got to sleep in and even found a pair of entrepreneurial teens who shoveled my walk and driveway in less than a quarter of the time it would have taken me. Of course, the township plow came along after, creating a mound of nastiness at the bottom of my driveway. I did my best to shovel away the worst of it, but relied on my SUV to clear paths in several directions. 

Of course, the weather also kept me from personal interactions. Lately, it seems most of my personal interactions have been at the Day Job, and while that's not exactly a bad thing, it's not a good thing, either.

And while another major ice/snow storm is predicted for tomorrow night, I spend another night alone in a house I may well have to give up, through no fault of my own. Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining (well, maybe a little). What I am is confused, lonely and depressed. And while I imagine that applies to so many people I may or may not know, it doesn't make me feel any better about it. Trust me, if I could afford therapy, I'd so back in a heartbeat. Of course, that also means finding a therapist as good as my last one (almost 20 years ago).

Honestly, I'll probably get through this winter. And probably the next several. I have another 15 years before I can officially retire. I may lose my mind and move to the Southwest well before then.

Aaaauuuuuuuuuugh!

More, anon.
Prospero

Snow Day

Winter Storm Janus: Punishment for Christieism

I blame NJ Governor Chris Christie for Winter Storm Janus and the subsequent traffic snarl it caused yesterday afternoon, everywhere. If the fundies can blame me, then I get to blame some one, too. In truth though, the germ of the idea for this post came out of a Facebook status I posted last night, so forgive me if I'm repeating part of this. 

We all knew the storm was coming and the first tiny flakes started to fall yesterday morning just as I reached the last traffic-lighted intersection before arriving at the Day Job. At 11:00 I took my morning smoke break (yes, I know) and notice the plant across the way is closing, as cars begin to make a mass exodus from the lot. I came back to my desk to find an email from HR announcing we were closing at 1:00 (No lunch breaks, please). All well and good. The snow is light and easy to get off my car and I'm on my way by 1:12. It wouldn't be until 1:49 that I even got out of the town where the Day Job is located! The ride that normally takes 20 to 25 minutes and can sometimes take 40 to 50  minutes in bad weather, actually took me well over ninety minutes. And all because every other company along the I95 corridor closed at the same time and sent out millions of vehicles out onto snow-covered roads with hampered visibility. When I finally got home, after bitching about the weather and the traffic and the need to shovel, I sort gave in and resigned myself that this was happening and at least I'd gotten out early and would get a Snow Day out of it (an unusually high 2.5 this season). Which got me thinking about how I went from loving Snow Days as a kid to hating them as an adult. 

When Uncle P and his sister were kids, our Mom loved Snow Days, because it meant we got to stay home and she could play with us. We'd bundle up to go out and play in the snow; come in to warm up and dry out and have PB&Js and Campbell's Chicken Noodle soup and then go out for a another hour, until our faces were red and our noses runny. Then it was inside again where warm towels from the dryer waited for us wrap up in while leaning against the boiler's hot brick chimney. Then came hot cocoa and some sort of activity at the kitchen table. Colorforms; Shrinkey-Dinks; Spirograph; paint-by-numbers; coloring books and crayons; watercolors... always something creative to keep us busy until it was time for her to start making dinner in time for Dad to get home. 

Today, was not at all that kind of Snow Day. Sis's Sister-in-Law's son (say that three times, fast), who I've just started to get know and now refer to as my "Nephew-in-Law," came and shoveled me out today, and when I went to get money to pay him, he skipped. I texted him "No fair!" and he texted back "You're family!" Of course, when he helped me this past Monday to put the new battery in the car I'm trying to sell, I stuck a twenty in his pocket when his hands were busy and he had no choice. I'm going to make him some cookies or brownies or something. He's a good kid and I am appreciate my BIL and his family's (especially his sister and her son) kindness more and more, all the time. So, while I could have done any number of things today, including cleaning; painting; inventorying and purging the chest freezer (among others), I instead hibernated until after 10:30 and then vegged out on a "Tattoo Nightmares" marathon on Spike. And while I have 4 episodes of "Dracula" on my DVR, I'm not sure if I'm really willing to continue with the slow-moving plot that seems to have bogged it down the last few episodes I did see. 

So after dinner (the last of the chicken and hush puppies from Sunday) it was off to Netflix and the film version of a story I first read online: John Dies at the End. David Wong's online novel about time-travel; metaphysics; alternate universes; demons; mystical drugs and artificial intelligence (among other things) is transformed into a just-as-weird film by co-writer, director Don Coscarelli, creator of the equally weird Phantasm series. But this is also Coscarelli's homage to other genre directors with nods to Carpenter; Cronenberg and Raimi as told by Lovecraft. Produced by and co-starring Paul Giamatti, Coscarelli and David Wong worked on a script that both managed to connect some of the missing dots in Wong's novella, while maintaining its gonzo sensibilities. Add cuties Chase Williamson and Rob Mayes as leads Dave and John; genre fave Clancy Brown as a charismatic preacher/exorcist (he's so powerful, he can expel a demon over the phone); the often-used but rarely seen Doug Jones (Pan's Labyrinth; Hellboy); a cameo from Angus Scrimm (Phantasm's 'Tall Man') and loads of physical gross-outs and FX (plus an animated sequence that is both gross and hilarious) and you end up with a strange and often hilarious horror movie with two characters who deserve a sequel. *** (Three Out of Four Stars).

So, that was my Snow Day - some nostalgia; sleeping in; bad tattoos and a fun, weird horror movie I've been wanting to see that turned out to be actually pretty good. I may be too old for sledding and snow-forts, but you're never too old to appreciate a lazy day and then ramble on about it like anyone else really cares. 

Did you have a Snow Day today? What did you do or not do, today?

More, anon.
Prospero

My Kind of Town

Chicago Is

Uncle P is off to my favorite U.S. city for a brief business trip and then four days of vacation, hanging out with friends (one of whom is a High School friend who will also be vacationing there from California at the same time); visiting museums; playing at the Navy Pier; eating in amazing restaurants; taking the Architectural Tour and assorted other distractions. I hope 4 days will be enough to do all I want to do.

I'll be back on Wednesday night, but since Thursday is my birthday, I probably won't be writing much before Friday. I feel like a jerk for missing Caliban's Revenge's 5th Anniversary post the other day, but I promise to make it up to you, soon.

In the meantime, here's the latest video from Steve "All-American Boy" Grand, a cover of L'il Wayne's "How To Love (Starchild)" (via):

Have a great weekend, everyone!

More, anon.
Prospero

The Weirdest Nonsense You'll See This Week, Among Other Things

Lots of good things going on this weekend, including the fact that I will be able to audition for a show in which I very much want to take part (my upcoming Day Job trip to the City on the Lake is the same weekend as regular auditions and the producers have graciously agreed to see me early. Yay!) Last night I had a great time at the movies with a friend and while today saw the usual Sunday tasks, none of them were particularly stressful and I got to enjoy plenty of time to decompress. So even though it is the end of the weekend, I'm still in a really good mood.

Of course, there's almost nothing that puts me in a better mood than a bit of good, old-fashioned nonsense. And it just so happens that Jonco, over at Bits And Pieces shared plenty of nonsense today, and I wanted to share some of it with you. 

First is something called "Face Folding" The Daily Dot (I've never heard of it, either) says 'Face Folding Turns Every Movie Into a Horror.' Honestly, I'm not sure I agree with that, especially when they use clips from Sci-Fi and Fantasy films and manipulate actors' voices to illustrate their point. The effect is sometimes creepy, but more often just... Extraterrestrial.

And there's this delightfully hilarious bit of editing nonsense that had Uncle P quite literally LOL'ing more than once. Enjoy:

It was the IRL QWOP clip (link has NSFW language) that got me started giggling uncontrollably. The rest was just more fuel for the fire.

In "Only in America" News: The County Fair at the Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds in Petaluma, California held it's annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Beagle/Boxer Winner Walle gets his owner $1500.00 and national TV appearances. I guess it's a good thing that these poor doggies have no idea they're ugly.

Finally, among other things and on an only semi-nonsensical point, if you're a regular then you know the only Reality/Talent show I watch is AGT (a guilty pleasure, to be sure). Well, for the first time in a very long time, I have an early favorite. Kenichi Ebina is a rather amazing dancer and I can see him moving on to the finals (though not sure this early that he can win - no dancers ever have).

Hoping your week stays silly (in the good way, of course). I, for one, will be seeking a shrubbery. A nice one with a path down the middle so you get a lovely two-level effect (ooh - what a give-away!).


More, anon.
Prospero

PS - I love how meta this post turned out, even if it's only meta to me.

Falling Mascots and Other Nonsense

So I bought myself a present today. I'm listening to it right now. In typical Musical Theatre geek fashion I broke down and bought the "Smash" Season 1 CD. Love it or hate it (I've embraced it's silly soap-opera look at the business and really love it), you can't deny how well done it is. I'm also a fan of composer Marc Shaiman (Hairspray), who writes the music for Bombshell, the fictional musical about Marilyn Munroe at the center of the show. I know there are loads of Katherine McPhee haters, but I have never seen "American Idol" and had no idea who she was before "Smash," and I kind of fell in love with her in this part. But it really is an ensemble and what a cast! Broadway, film and television veterans who all certainly understand the process. And they honestly do some much more interesting covers than "Glee" could hope to. I think the music is even better this season, and am looking forward to both the Season 2 and the complete Bombshell CDs.

Posting that "Mascot Fails" video last night had me seeking out more. Honestly, whenever I see one of these for the first time I end up curled up on the floor, convulsing in laughter. My buddy James is the same way. It's very specific for me, because it's not the falling mascot that makes me laugh but imagining the expression on the face of the poor confused and terrified schlub inside the costume, flailing helplessly as he goes down, all while the visible face continues to grin idiotically. Oh... just thinking about  han;,s,md;lamk;nrf'aknjjkabhdkghddp 

Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I did not have a stroke. I lost all control there, for a second, laughing. I mean seriously. It's terrible. Every time I see some poor loser on the side of the road in a giant hotdog or chicken costume, I silently wish "Fall! Please, oh please, oh please, please please, PLEASE fall down!" I did see a Quizno's Cup Guy get pushed by the wind once, but he managed to stay upright (needless to say, much to my disappointment). Jimmy and I dare you not to laugh at these:

Oh, man! That last one just about made me hyperventilate. It just gets worse and worse and the poor jerk's ass must have hurt for days! I have to give him (or her) credit, because I would've given up a long time before the blue chicken does.

Here's wishing you a silly (in a good way) day, tomorrow. I'm doing everything I can to laugh as much as I can. Because I know if I don't... well... I prefer laughing, anyway.

Still not sure I'm back, back. Meeting a friend of a Day Job friend tomorrow night for drinks. We've been Facebook friends for a while and are finally meeting face-to-face before he takes off for Boston for a few weeks (our mutual friend describes him as a 'gypsy').

Yes, T and I did have that date, and it was.... very nice and we are both looking forward to more. I'm looking forward to some decent sleep, soon. And doing some laundry. And maybe going out for lunch. Calgon, take me away!

More, anon.
Prospero

Failure and Inspriration

Cinnamon Hazelnut Mochachino Rolls w/Cream Cheese Icing

It's been a while since I've blogged about food and/or the Day Job; and since we do have an 'any excuse for a party' policy, tomorrow is NOT a Valentine's Day Party in deference to those without Valentines of their own. Instead, it's a Red Food Party. I had no idea what I was going to make and had several ideas bouncing around and finally settled on a chocolate version of a cream-cheese iced cinnamon roll. But when I went to buy my ingredients, I went in a slightly different direction. The recipe called for a certain brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread, but I found a new brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread and a mocha cappuccino version. I debated... and decided to go with the flashier flavor and went off-recipe, even adding an ingredient. And I'm not sure it worked. In the end, I didn't care for the flavor of the spread (it had an odd after-taste), though I loved the cream-cheese frosting, even though I forgot to add the red food coloring -- and now that I know how easy it is to make, I may try my hand at a carrot cake.* The rolls look pretty good (yes, that's an actual picture of my finished product, taken with my Android). Of course, the ultimate judges will be my co-workers. If no one eats them, I'll know they're a fail. I'll try them again in a smaller batch, according to the original recipe.

So, I know I promised you something inspiring and here it is (via) comes the below video, part of The Campaign for Southern Equality's WE DO campaign, in which LGBT couples across the South apply for and are denied marriage licenses in an effort to raise awareness of the need for Marriage Equality. 

Matt and Raymie apply (and are rejected for) a marriage license in Morristown, TN. Of course,the best parts of this clip are Raymie's sweet, heartfelt speech; their families' support and the sweet, smiling clerks who are obviously supportive. Get your tissues out, (because you're gonna cry, pervs!):

How much have you fallen in love with Matt and Raymie? So I guess I'm officially making Matt and Raymie my Valentines, this year. T and I have yet to have a second date -- thanks to Nemo (ugh!), so I thought I'd celebrate another couple's love, instead. Thanks guys, for making your voices heard; for showing the faces of true love; for giving all of us hope. I hope the two of you have a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day.

*Uncle P's favorite cake, which his cake baker sister never makes him...

OH NOES!!!  MASSIVE FAIL!!!!

I took a small break from writing to get a drink and finish cleaning up the kitchen when I found I had made a fatal flaw! What I thought was a bottle of ground cinnamon was actually a bottle of ground cumin! No wonder I hated them! Here's a cooking lesson well-learned. Double Check the Label! And now I must make a trip to the grocery store for something on my way in. Crap! Double Crap! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

More, anon.

Prospero

Bite Me, Mother Nature (or: The Saddest Gay Post This Week)

Better call me a waaahhm-bulance.

As I sit in my home office writing this post, the 'historic' storm Nemo (really, Weather Channel?) is raging outside. Well, it's snowing. And has been for several hours, amassing less than 2" so far. Not enough to be crippling like in 1996, but just enough to make travel unwise and spoil a very special evening I was supposed to have with T. This after a truly  horrendous day at the Day Job. The storm is having a major impact on us, while causing unnecessary panic for our clients who don't read or bother to look at the updates on our website (or look in completely inappropriate places when they attempt to -- it's on the home page in bright orange! How can you not see that?). This was the worst possible weekend in all of winter for this storm to hit. I ended up having to stay late, on top of (and this is really just adding insult to injury) cancelling my very much-anticipated date with T because of the impending driving conditions (45 minutes of highway driving in sleet and snow isn't really all that wise). To be honest, it was quite possibly the worst Friday I've ever had (or at least certainly in the Top 5). 

So I came home and tried to cheer myself up a bit. I watched some comedies I'd DVR'd and then poured myself a drink and visited good old Towleroad, where there were two exceptionally gay clips that almost did the trick. You'll see why I say "almost."

First up, openly gay Bravo president and talk-show/reality-show host Andy Cohen recently had Jenny McCarthy and Calvin Klein Superbowl model Matthew Terry play a ridiculously exploitative game called "Paper or Plas-Take It Off:"

Terry may be young and very pretty,  but McCarthy might as well be an SNL cougar. Fail.

So, I went for some nonsense and the video for RuPaul's latest single, Peanut Butter. Watch first and then we'll discuss (may be NSFW):

First, let me get this right out of the way: Who the f**k is Big Freedia? Bitch scares me. Second: Ru, bubbulah, what the hell? Stick with dance tracks, girl. This bizarre rap/dubstep mashup weirdness just doesn't work. For anyone. 

Of course, RuPaul is outrageous. We get it. And we know you have to keep up with the times if you want to stay in the spotlight, but aren't the dancing twinks in banana hammocks in a video for a 'song' that's basically one big penis joke just overkill?* We deserve better from the Queen of Drag.

I really shouldn't complain. I know it could be so much worse. New York and New England are going to get slammed for the second -- and even third -- time in less than a year. Still, sometimes it seems I just can't get a friggin break for myself, ya know?

So I am left to console myself with smoke and drink, taking some pleasure in the idea of anticipation. After all, half the fun of any great roller-coaster is the anticipation as the train climbs that first hill, waiting to take that first breath-taking, soaring, weightless plunge*... I need a cigarette, now. Just don't remind me that an exceptionally horrendous Monday is just a brief two days away.

*Every single pun ever, intended.

I'll make this up to you, T. Promise.

More, anon.
Prospero

Be It Ever So Humble...

Iris

So, my whirlwind trip to Los Angeles has finally come to end and except for a fairly miserable flight home (more on that, in a bit), it was actually quite good. The Day-Job event was quite successful and Uncle P found himself quite busy during it (unlike my last business trip to Miami, where I spent most of the event twiddling my thumbs). 

We stayed (and held the event) at the famous Millennium Biltmore Hotel, the sight of many Academy Awards ceremonies in the 1930's and 1940's, a history of which the hotel is rightfully proud. Alfred Hitchcock shot scenes from Vertigo there and it has been used in plenty of other Hollywood classics, including Ghostbusters. I found the place a bit reminiscent of the Overlook Hotel from The Shining, with its maze-like layout and decidedly creepy basement Regency Room, where our event took place. One the bartenders told me that the hotel's "Gold Room" still had a secret passage left over from the Prohibition era and I couldn't help but wonder who might have stayed in my room (828) in the past. 

Of course, the highlight of my weekend was something I've been blathering on about for weeks, now: Cirque du Soliel's Iris at the Dolby (formerly the Kodak) Theatre. Simply put, the show is nothing less than breathtaking. A stunning riot of color; Steampunk aesthetics; plays on light and shadow; astounding feats of strength; graceful physical prowess, acrobatic thrills and technical genius, Iris is most certainly the best of the many Cirque shows I've seen, and that's saying a lot. I found myself with my mouth agape in awe, grinning like an idiot and even crying at it's often stunning beauty. 

Trying to describe the show in mere words is an exercise in futility. It is something that must be seen and experienced to be fully appreciated. The young woman seated to my right often exclaimed "So pretty!" which doesn't even come close. From the opening aerial act featuring two perfect young men (who later spend the 2nd half of the show as half-naked Gladiators) to the finale, Iris (pronounced in the French - "ear-REESE") is the kind of show one never forgets. From the hysterical 'clowns' (don't worry D, these aren't 'evil-you-know-whats') to the astonishing set pieces that seemingly appear from nowhere; from Danny Elfman's amazing score to the slightly disturbing Steampunk robots; from the gorgeous costumes to the outrageous lighting and projections, Iris is the perfect example of Cirque du Soleil's 'Circus as Theatre' philosophy. I cannot recommend this show highly enough. If you are a Cirque fan or just a lover of movies; if you love (as I did) Martin Scorsese's Hugo or any of the surviving films of Georges Melies, you owe it to yourself to see Iris, if you can. 

On a side note, while waiting for the Metro back to my hotel after the show, I found myself face-to-face with the young man who played the show's lead 'Buster," sitting on a skateboard, his sweat-run makeup still on, waiting for his own ride home. I couldn't help but approach him and tell him how wonderful I found both the show and his performance. He looked rather surprised, but shook my hand and thanked me. Personally, I was more excited to meet him, than any "star" in Hollywood.

For now, I'm just glad to be home and to get to sleep in my own bed tonight.

More, anon.
Prospero

Obsessions Will Soon Collide

Some of the Cast of Iris at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles

In a little less than six days, I will be sitting in the Dolby Theatre (formerly the Kodak Theatre) watching Iris, Cirque du Soleil's "journey through the world of cinema." It's been about three years since I've seen a Cirque show (the absolutely astounding Kooza, which was a return to the kind of  breathtaking feats of acrobatics that make Cirque so amazing).

If you've never seen a Cirque du Soleil show live, you should. You will never forget it. It's truly circus as theatre. For ethical reasons, they employ no animal acts, displaying feats of human dexterity only. Incorporating music; dance; song and non-traditional clowning, each Cirque show is unique, using an amazing array of sets; costumes; makeups and lighting effects to create thrilling and beautiful productions worldwide. There are currently 20 Cirque shows, both on tour and in permanent residence. Iris is the only permanent show in California. There are several permanent shows in Las Vegas, as well as one in Orlando, FL (La Nouba) and Biloxi, MS (Allegria). The shows I've seen include Saltimbanco; Allegria; Quidam; Dralion; Quidam; La Nouba; Kooza and Wintuk. I first fell in love with them when I saw the HBO version of their first U.S. tour, We Reinvent the Circus. You can often catch video performances of their older touring shows on A&E. 

With a score by prolific film composer Danny Elfman, Iris examines the history, genres and technologies of one of America's few truly original art forms. As a professed cinephile from a very young age and a professed Cirque fanatic for the last 20 years, I am honestly salivating at the thought of seeing Iris.

You can be sure I'll talking about the show again, after I get home next Sunday.

And here's the trailer for Kooza, the last Cirque show I saw (with K).



More, anon.
Prospero

Jiggedey Jig

Drag at South Beach

While I may not have slept very well while on my business trip to Miami (I truly despise hotels and never get much sleep while in one, no matter how luxurious), I did have a good time.

After arriving in Miami on Friday afternoon, my coworkers and I spent the afternoon preparing for Saturday's event. Once released, three of my lady coworkers (ranging in age from mid-20's to early-60's) and I headed to South Beach in search of fun. After visiting the beach, where the surf was exceptionally rough, so our youngest adventurer (also the niece of my rock, K) could dip her feet in the very warm waters of the South Atlantic, we made our way along Ocean Avenue where countless waitstaff at lots of restaurants and clubs attempted to lure us for dinner and drinks. And while we saw many tourists taking advantage of truly gigantic Margaritas; Mai-Tais and other exotic drinks, we kept on walking until we found The Palace Bar. The Palace not only had an affordable dinner menu but also advertised a Drag Show from 6 to 10 PM. The ladies were intrigued and I found myself very comfortable among the gay restaurant's patrons (many of whom were incredibly hot).

We settled in at a sidewalk table as our adorable waiter kept plying us with pitchers of a delicious German beer (we drank four but he only charged us for three) while a bevy of beautiful 'ladies' kept us entertained for over three hours. We dished; we laughed (a lot); we ate and drank and had an all-around great time. Uncle P even got 'molested' by the drag queen in the picture above. The show was fantastic and the performers even made their way onto Ocean Drive where they often stopped traffic to perform in the middle of the street. So much fun!

The next night (after a successful work event) the same four (plus one who had heard stories of our grand adventure), made our way to the Bayside Market, where we had an amazing Italian meal a Lombardi's and did some shopping. It was a less exciting, though equally enjoyable evening for all of us. We ended the evening with a ride back to our hotel (the gorgeous Hyatt Regency Miami) on the Monkey Shuttle; a free, open-air electric shuttle that allowed for delicious wind in our hair and a very amusing and knowledgeable driver who worked only for tips.

My only previous stop in Miami was for dinner on my way to Key West with college friends while on Spring Break in the mid-80's. I remember it being seedy and a bit scary. My, how times have changed. 

I do hope to return to Miami someday on a proper vacation, without the restrictions of traveling for business. I have been on many business trips for the Day Job to cities which I have truly enjoyed (Chicago among the best of them) but I can honestly say that Miami will remain one of my all-time favorites.

I'll be back tomorrow with a Retro Review of Snow White and the Huntsman.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Few Nights Away

So, Uncle P is off to fabulous Miami for a business trip this weekend, which means I won't be posting tomorrow or Saturday. And while I will be in one of the gayest cities in Florida, I am there for work, so play time will be restricted to Friday and Saturday evenings. Of course, 'playtime' on a business trip means hanging out with co-workers, so I won't be able to get into too much trouble. Miami is a city for old Jews and hot, young gay boys and since I fall somewhere in between (yeah, I know...), I doubt there'll be too many opportunities for real trouble, anyway.

Still, maybe I'll get lucky and find Adam Rodriguez and Jonathan Togo still hanging around, looking for someone... I mean, something to do. David Caruso... not so much.

I'll be back on Sunday.

More, anon.
Prospero.