Under Where? TGTYSW (NSFW Version)

Gay Underwear Designer, Andrew Christian

Wow, that's a lot of acronyms in one blog post title. Of course, NSFW is one we're all familiar with by now: Not Safe For Work. And if you read Caliban's Revenge with any regularity at all, you may have sussed out that TGTYSW = The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week. Field space makes for strange acronyms. And the video I am about to share is most certainly the gayest thing you'll probably see all year. The ridiculous pun goes back to an elementary school joke: "What are you eating under there?" 

Andrew Christian is well known for marketing his products to young, gay men with lots of disposable income to waste on frivolity. And believe me, I know - quality underwear is hardly frivolous. A traditional "tighty whities" boy growing up, once Uncle P discovered boxer-briefs, there was no going back. I may have experimented with the bikini brief, briefly. But that was back in the 70's and who wasn't experimenting with something in those days? 

Personally, I don't find Mr. Christian's line to my taste. I have nothing against colorful britches (my personal favorite pair of boxer-briefs is Blood Red, of course) but I just don't understand how one can be actually be comfortable in some of his more daring designs. I'm also not particularly a fan of the twinky young 'models' (i.e. porn star wannabes) he uses. Being a full-blooded Ursan, I tend to like 'em bigger and fuzzier And now that you know WAY too much about me, here is The Gayest Video You'll Ever See Which Isn't Actually Porn (NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!!):

Now that's about as far from Magic Mormon Underwear as one can get! Coincidentally, tomorrow is laundry day at Chez Prospero. 

Bottom line (every pun intended), why anyone would spend the kind of money Christian wants for his skimpy drawers when Hanes does an even better job of providing support and mystique, is beyond me. I can buy 5 pair of Hanes boxer briefs at Target for less than half the cost of one pair of Andrew Christian's 'Candy Pop' drawers.

Then again, I don't have the kind of money the poor, vapid idiots this campaign is designed for have. And even if I did, I would hope that I would use it in more socially productive way. Still, I suppose the old Madison Avenue adage applies: Sex Sells. Just ask Jon Hamm.

More, anon.
Prospero

Homoerotic Spanish & Pervy Kiwi Advertising (Possibly NSFW Edition)

It's not like advertisers never knew we existed as a target audience. It's just that now it's finally cool to acknowledge our dollars may well be 'pink,' but they're also just as green as everyone else's.

And while neither of these ads is specifically targeting gay audiences, there is a certainly homoerotic quality to the running pants ad (via - link may be NSFW) from Spain's ES Sportswear, I've embedded below. Loaded with crotch and ass shots, butt-slapping, chest-stroking and arm-linking; its rather obvious to whom ES really wants sell their brand.

Then there's this parody commercial purporting to be for product from New Zealand, featuring a spokesperson whose highly exaggerated Kiwi accent turns it into something hilariously and possibly NSFW pervy (also via):

Some NZ folks are unhappy about that clip, while others find it as childishly hilarious as Uncle P did. It was probably made by an Aussie... or a Tasmanian. (Ha! I bet you were expecting a Warner Brothers joke there. Nope! Pwn'd). 

I almost did another Retro-Review of a recent Indy and Oscar favorite tonight, but I'm still mulling parts of it over. There was some beautiful imagery; lots of wry humor and some beautifully underplayed performances, but it all seemed a bit too self-aware. I'll elaborate soon (or not - it all depends).

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Month You'll Start This Week

The Gayest Breakfast You'll See This Week (4 Bears Only)

Notice: Some links in this post may be NSFW, depending on where you work. I hope by now, no one really needs the link to that acronym. 

Anyway...

I actually did make pancakes and sausage this morning for brunch, though not nearly as many  of the Pride Cakes (Flip Jacks?) as you see in the image on your left. Mine were actually much smaller, rather misshapen* and regular pancake colored, even though they were whole-wheat. And I used local honey in place of syrup. I do try, though I simply refuse to give up butter. I don't go nuts, but I'm not about to eat something even poop-eating flies supposedly won't touch. Butter's flavor and texture are so necessary for so many recipes. While most, if not all of them, can be made using less butter combined with olive oil, they simply cannot be made with hydrogenated vegetable oils, which are far, far worse for you than honest-to-goodness cow's milk butter. 

Wow. That escalated quickly. 

Sorry for the tangent... because this post isn't about food or cooking or diets or anything other than the fact that June 1st marks the start of Pride Month here in the U.S. Usually at this time of year, Uncle P is either directing or in a JTMF benefit show (our only event this year isn't until October, but more on that, anon). This year, I have the leisure of being able to attend multiple Pride events, should I so desire, without having to man a booth or table at any of them. I've never been to NYC Pride or even Philly Pride. I've only ever been to NJ Pride which is held in Springsteen Central, Asbury Park at the Jersey Shore, which is being held tomorrow. I've been three times, but have never gotten to see the parade, because I was always manning the JTMF table, in hopes of drawing audience members and/or donors. I have a very funny NJ Pride story about D & Siah; a Velcro fly; a very drunken, horny twink named Noel and an Evil You-Know-What for another time. While I have always had time to wander the grounds and visit the other booths, I was never able to see the parade or really mingle with the multitude of gay Guidos on hand.

Here's the thing: I'm not sure I really want to go to any of them. But I actually kind of do. I may decide to brave the traffic and the crowds and go to Philly Pride next Sunday. I've always had a great time checking out the different booths and vendors at NJ Pride (yes, and the hotties), and expect I'd like Philly's version just as much, if not more. I just need to convince someone to join me. Any takers?

Although, if this is the best promo they can come up with, maybe we're all better off staying home:

Really, Philadelphia? Find a new agency, quick, before the Copyranter craps all over that crap. As well he should.

This June, celebrate yourselves, no matter what you sexuality! Celebrate your loved ones who support you and love you for who you are!. Celebrate your partner, if you are lucky enough to have one. Celebrate love, because that's all any of us want and everything all of us deserves. Don't ever stop fighting the haters and the liars.

We've seen more wins than defeats, this past year. Hopefully, SCOTUS will rule in favor of Marriage Equality and the U.S. will join the 21st Century along with the 14 other countries who have embraced marriage rights for all their citizens.

More, anon.
Prospero

*Don't even say what you're thinking, perv!

First 1st Date In a Very Long Time

I Hope He's Not a "Dud"

So, having (mostly deliberately) been single for quite some time, it suddenly dawned on Uncle P that he wasn't getting any younger. And while I have so many wonderful and loving friends in my life, I hated being the 5th or 7th at dinner. And not just that; I missed intimate contact. So, a few months ago I joined a couple of dating sites, hoping to meet someone who wasn't just out for a booty call. 

I corresponded with some very attractive and very interesting people, most of whom were as far away as Sweden and Brazil. Not exactly conducive to a serious relationship, though they helped me get a feel for the online dating thing in the 21st Century (it can be very scary out there).  Now you must remember, I am a man of size and well-over 40. My chances of finding a life partner at this point in my life are... well, let's say 'low.' I met my last BF online through AOL, so you know how long ago that was...

About three weeks ago, I was contacted by T, through one of the sites I'd joined. He lived within driving distance; we shared more than a few traits in common and from his photos on the site where we were matched, he seemed reasonably attractive. We went back and forth through the site's email system a few times and then went to personal emails which soon led to texting and actual phone conversations and even more photo sharing. We thought we might have a connection and finally decided we should meet. Tonight was that meeting.

Now, Uncle P is no fool. Hannibal Lecter; Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy all looked great on paper.  T and I met at a chain restaurant (where our server was an theatre acquaintance of mine) for a few drinks, appetizers and dessert. I arrived first and secured a booth with a view of the door and waited (I have a habit of being early, except when it counts -- oops! TMI?). I waited, a little more than nervous and warming my hands by alternately blowing and sitting on them. I texted him: "I'm here. Got a booth with a view of the door." 

I couldn't help but have this bit of nonsense running through my mind:

A few minutes later, T arrived and I waved. He waved back and approached and we both had broad smiles on our faces. My anxiety level dropped almost immediately.

T was not only even more attractive in real life, but funny, warm and very sweet. Easy to smile and laugh with a devilish cleft chin, T was, well... charming. Over the next several hours we talked about tons of things (including brief stops on exes; theatre; sports; work; movies; parents; friends and who the hell knows what else), all the while (warning - Cheese Alert) playing 'footsie' under the table. We both admitted that friends had offered escape plans if things weren't going well, but neither of us used them. Two and and half hours flew by and I can't remember the last time I had such a good time on a first date.

And you will all be proud to note that as much as I wanted to do so much more than play 'footsie' with T, we both retired to our own homes for the evening, after the promise of a second date and some rather chaste kisses in the parking lot.

I must admit, I'm feeling a lot better about myself than I have in a long time. Of course, I'm not counting any chickens, but I am very much looking forward to Date # 2. And I'm so glad that tonight was nothing like this:

Bad movie. Very good first date.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week (Possibly NSFW Edition)

NPH Goes Bollywood Sexy!

As you may have noticed, my taste; interests and (hopefully) my life might be described as 'eclectic.' When it comes to movies, I may have some favorite genres, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy others. The first time I actually appreciated a Bollywood musical number was in the delightful and underrated romantic comedy The Guru. Sure, it was Americanized, but I was intrigued by the dance style and wanted more. Luckily, Baz Luhrman gave us an even more elaborate number in the finale to Moulin Rouge and I was hooked. I started seeking them out, learning quickly the difference between a good Bollywood musical and a bad one (production values make all the difference). The plots of most of these films are for the most part, preposterous star-crossed lovers stories or tales of syndicated crime (sometimes both in the same movie). But they all feature those fascinating andcomplex dance numbers. Of course, many of you were with me when I first learned about a Bollywood superstar who is quickly growing into an official "Obsession" (though he'll never replace THE Obsession). I'm referring to the very talented, very hot Hrithic Roshan (sigh...).

His eyes! His face! His body! His dancing! Honestly, I have no qualms about saying Roshan's dance skills put Michael Jackson's to shame. Don't get me wrong, Jackson was a damn good dancer. Roshan is undoubtedly better. Of course, Roshan's 'complete package' and a hotness level of 17 on scale of 1 to 10, eclipses everything else anyway. (sigh...). He truly is stunningly beautiful, isn't he? (sigh..). No, really. I'm fine. (sigh...).

Of course, the one thing Bollywood musicals very rarely celebrate, is gay love. Step right up, Prince Harris. Oh - Let me 'splain, Lucy. If Ellen is our High Queen Lesbian and Elton our High Queen Queen, then America's gay boy next door Neil Patrick Harris is decidedly our naughty, irascible and adorable Clown Prince Harry, providing an exceptionally positive role model for today's queer youth, whether he acknowledges it or not. Neil has a YouTube channel called "Neil's Puppet Dreams," which is a series of shorts in which Neil 'dreams in puppet.' Often silly, sometimes racy and always  hilarious, I've been a fan from the start. In the 'Season Finale,' Harris and company go after about 104 topics (alight, maybe 6 or 7...) in their best, most elaborate and smartest episode yet:

The man makes me smile every time I see him, no matter what he's doing and seeing him in a splashy, exceptionally clever, pointed and funny Bollywood parody is a treat. Seriously, who doesn't love Neil Patrick Harris? I know of no one.

And since we're in Bollywood, it's only a slightly longer flight to Oz. In what be the stretchiest segue ever, Australia is the Eastern Hemisphere's equivalent to the U.S. in it's scared-to-commit but happy-to-accept-pink-dollars attitudes. The popular majority supports Marriage Equality, but the governing conservatives do not. Sound familiar? The difference is, Australia has never been afraid to openly, joyously and willingly court gay tourism. Via AccidentalBear.com (site may be NSFW), comes this video promoting a party called "John Homosocial (Australia Day Weekend)." While there is no actual nudity, plenty of very naughty things are rather obviously implied and it may well be NSFW:

JOHN HOMOSOCIAL (AUSTRALIA DAY WEEKEND) from Nik Dimopoulos on Vimeo.

And since it seems I unknowingly set up a pattern here (and please let me know if you recognize it, too -- you know, to prove to me I'm not crazy) let's end with a very funny, very NSFW but ultimately endearing tribute to... um... Mom? Ew. But Yay! I'm confused. (also via)

Gurl, I feel your... well, I get it. Literally can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em, eh?  I was also going to post a link to the trailer of a documentary currently playing at Sundance, but decided I was tired of talking about a person involved with it and changed my mind. You probably know who I'm talking about.

More, anon.
Prospero

Which Is More Gruesome? Plus: Commercial of the Year

Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan Winning in Scary MoVie

So, I found both of these trailers for upcoming movies on Towleroad, each accompanied by some brief copy/snark, but no real discussion. So I thought I'd discuss them.

First, Towleroad said "This is what Lindsay Lohan has been reduced to:" and linked to the trailer for the fourth sequel the increasingly awful Scary Movie franchise. Created in 2000 by the once-funny Wayans Brothers and since obtained by the once-funny Zucker Brothers, the first two Scary Movie movies parody the Scream  franchise. But as they made more films, they incorporated move Horror subgenres. By the time Sheen first appeared in the series, he was doing his pre-douche Mel Gibson in Signs. And Zucker perennial Leslie Nielsen was The President as if  played by Dubya, himself. Even into the last movie in the series (2006's Scary Movie 4), they all featured under-recognized comedic genius Ana Farris as Cindy Campbell and "Ally McBeal" alum Regina King as her best friend, Brenda Meeks (who dies in every one of the movies, much like Kenny on "South Park"). Six years later, David Zucker and Pat Proft are still trying to milk the property for all it's worth with Scary MoVie (i.e. Scary Movie 5):

 

At least Farris and King were smart enough  to stay away this time, while I imagine Lohan and Sheen are as desperate for attention as they always have been.

Horror parody isn't easy and can never be lazy. Comedic horror is even harder, though writer/directors Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson made rather lucrative careers for themselves by getting it so very right. As did hottie hyphenate Eli Roth (who's debut feature Cabin Fever was both hilarious and horrific), who recently produced; co-wrote and starred in the English language debut of Chilean director Nicolas Lopez, Aftershock. The story of an American tourist looking for a good time (Roth) who finds himself among the survivors of a massive earthquake Aftershock soon devolves into a kill-or-be-killed survival story. As with most projects in which Roth is involved, the loss of humanity and gory, violent mayhem ensues.

Yikes! While I find that first trailer scary because it's so sad, I find the second one scary because it probably isn't far from reality. And what a tag line! "The only thing scarier than Mother Nature is human nature." Roth was supposed to film Stephen King's non-zombie zombie novel "Cell" but the deal fell through. I'd love to see the "Bear Jew" take the zombie genre for a spin. 

And just to lighten the mood on Christmas Eve eve, though I'm embarrassed to admit that I cannot remember where I found it, here is something of an anomaly for me: a commercial I actually love. Most TV advertising is insipid at best and downright awful at worst (particularly on the local level). Occasionally, some ad agency will come up with a clever and memorable campaign. While rather  rare in the U.S., truly memorable and clever commercials seem the domain of Europe and South America. This one, from a Belgian newspaper group, is downright brilliant:

There is hope for the printed word, yet. 

More, anon. 

Prospero

Zombie-licious!

Michael Rooker as Merle Dixon on AMC's "The Walking Dead"

Okay - enough with The Theatre (for now, anyway). Let's talk about Zombies (one of Uncle P's favorite topics), shall we?

First off, AMC has released the first photos which confirm the return of Michael Rooker as Merle in Season 3 of "The Walking Dead." Merle was last actually seen in Season 1, handcuffed to a rail on the roof of an Atlanta department store (he made a minor appearance as his brother Daryl's hallucination in Season 2). Merle's amputated hand was later found by Rick and company, but they had no idea if he had actually survived. From the looks of the photo on the left, he did. I can't wait to find out where he's been and what he had to do to survive. I'm also interested in seeing how he and his brother Daryl will reconcile their relationship with the people who essentially left Merle to die on that rooftop.

In other Zombie news, my friends know (and mostly approve of) my obsession with the cannibalistic resurrected dead, and share some hilarious things with me on Facebook. Fellow Secular Humanist Diana M shared this image with Uncle P, today:

It combines Zombie imagery with one of the most popular sitcoms of all time, and I love it. Though I can't decide if it should be called 'Soup Zombie' or 'Brains Nazi.' What do you think?

Finally, appearing on CNN's satellite network HLN today, was a story about ammunition manufacturer Hornady who has introduced a new line of ammo intended for use against Zombies only. What? Ridiculous, you say? Well, I must agree with you. As I blogged just a few days ago, there are no (and never will be) real Zombies, despite recent and exploitative news which may seem to the contrary. Hornady is simply taking advantage of recent tragedies and many folks' overly obsessive fascination with Zombies to sell ammunition to people who don't actually need it. Is any rational person really anticipating the Zombie Apocalypse? Yes, AMC may be offering a Zombie obstacle course as part of their San Diego Comic-Con experience, but come on.

Okay - I may love Hornady's hilarious disclaimer at the end of that clip, but seriously... If you are purchasing ammunition in anticipation of the Zombie Apocalypse, I recommend that you seek out a the services of a competent psychotherapist or psychologist immediately, if not sooner. As I've said before, ZOMBIES ARE NOT REAL! Nor will they ever be, despite the actions of a few depraved individuals who may or may not be under the influence of one or more of any number of chemical intoxicants. As for cannibals... well, that's another topic for another post.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Ad You'll See This Week ( Probably NSFW Version)

Advertising in the age of the Internet has become very specific. On-line commercials and ads are targeted to to all sorts of people with all sorts of interests. Just look at the ads on your Facebook timeline. Even TV advertising has gotten more and more specific.

Los Angeles designer John Saint-Denis is known for his line of home furnishings, marketed toward upscale gay men with lots of readily disposable income (i.e. NOT Uncle P - my income has become less and less disposable, lately, Hell, I'm lucky if I get to see a new movie in a theater every couple of months, anymore). 

Anyway, Saint-Denis has a new line of 'masculine' candles and has commissioned the video below to sell them to gay men who have more money than brains. I first came across this video today at Kenneth in the (212) and again on Towleroad. I was at the Day Job and thought I should probably wait to view it until I got home. While there isn't anything particularly risque about it (a bare bum is as racy as it gets), you may not want to view it at work, either.

In any event, the depiction of rich, hunky guys living in palazzos may convince some morons to buy these over-priced  ($45.00 each!!) candles. Truth be told, Uncle P (and just about anyone else) can get just as romantic with a couple dozen tea-lights from the Dollar Store. Bitch, please...

If you have purchased these or any other similarly priced candles, I urge to get your priorities straight and use that money instead to help feed starving children in the Appalachians; support AIDS and/or Equality charities; raise awareness about human rights or just go take the oven, because you have no idea what it means to be a decent human being. 

Ooh... did I really just write that? Yes. Yes, I did.

What the hell is wrong with people who think a jar of scented wax is worth $45.00? $45.00 barely fills my gas tank and some asshat designer thinks a scented candle with his name on it is worth that much? If there is a hell, John Saint-Denis (and anyone who spends $45.00 for one of his candles) has a very special hot wax seat waiting for him there.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

So, after many years of catalogs featuring half-naked muscle-twink models and stores featuring half-naked muscle-twink sales staff, Aberzombie and Felch -- uh, excuse me -- Abercrombie and Fitch, presents us with their most homoerotic commercial ever. Directed by Bruce Weber, the clip features four twink "wrestlers" while announcing "Other sports require one ball. Wrestling requires two." 

The twinks roll around, take off their shorts and shower together, all under the guise of selling clothes. Really? I didn't see much in the way of clothing in this ad, just lots of wet boy-on-boy action. It even ends with a sweet kiss in the shower. 

Not that I'm complaining. Still, it did nothing to make me run out and buy their over-priced clothes (not that they make them in my size, anyway). You can watch the clip here on Weber's site (via Unicorn Booty).

If you're unfamiliar with A&F's advertising, here's a 'news' story about the opening of a new store in Singapore:



Yeah, they're pretty and all, but (giggling Asian girls aside) this Papa Bear is partial to something a little more masculine:

My Obsession

You're welcome.

More, anon.
Prospero

Double Duty Kicks In

I'm not only in Hairspray, but as the JTMF Publicity Coordinator, I'm about to kick into high-gear.* I have a press release to write; emails and letters to write; a program bio to write.. a screenplay stuck at the end of Act II to finish... Well, that's not part of my JTMF duties, but it bugs me to no end that I can't figure how to end the damned thing. 

What I mean to say is, as the show gets closer, the posts are going to get shorter and fewer.

I hadn't seen this particular poster, before. I love the gum bubble. It says everything we need to know about Tracy.

*No, it wasn't until I did my first proof that I realized that first sentence sounds like a hair-club commercial. I thought about changing it, but decided it was funny, especially if you knew it was completely unintentional. Of course, thanks to the 'miracle of polymer science' known as YouTube, I can link Hairspray with hair-club. Ladies and germs, I give you GLH:

I wonder if it was the mullet that brought the babes back, or the high they got from smelling his 'hair?' There. I feel sillier, already.

More Hairy Nonsense, Anon
Prospero

The Lamest Thing You'll See This Week

Mia Sara, Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck

I am by no means a John Hughes fan. Yes, I know his films defined the youths of many Americans who were teens in the '80's. But I was already in college in the 80's and found most of his movies to be just annoying. Of course, Sixteen Candles and Home Alone have their charms. And even Trains, Planes & Automobiles has its moments. Personally, I hate The Breakfast Club (so sue me) and actively despise Uncle Buck. But there's something about Ferris Beuller's Day Off that makes me forgive Hughes for his other crappy movies. 

The thing I love most about it is young Matthew Broderick's self-assured performance as the title character, elaborately faking a sick day in order to spend a day playing in the big city with his friends while making fools of all of the adults he encounters. And I love how the performances from Alan Ruck (then already in his 30's); Mia Sara; Jeffrey Jones; Jennifer Grey and Edie McClurg all just add to the fun. And Hughes makes my beloved Chicago have even more appeal than it does in The Blues Brothers.

Ferris... is probably Hughes' best film and certainly the movie that made a star out of Broderick. Add appearances from Charlie Sheen, Kristy Swanson and Ben Stein and you have what may well be the quintessential 80's teen comedy. 

When a 10 second teaser featuring Broderick in a robe and a snippet of Yello's iconic "Oh, Yeah" made its way onto the 'net a few days ago, folks were going crazy over the possibility of a Ferris Beuller sequel. Needless to say, many folks' hearts were broken when they discovered it was just a clip from a Honda Superbowl commercial which featured Broderick parodying his career-defining role. And even worse, the actual (terrible) commercial was released today, sending waves of shock and resentment among the film's many fans. 

See for yourselves:

Ugh! A lame, unfunny sellout, which only goes to prove that most so-called "stars" are only interested in making a buck. Broderick may have found additional fame on Broadway in shows like How to Succeed in Business... and The Producers, but this commercial for a generic soccer-mom SUV does nothing to for him or his career. And that's a shame. He already has to live with SJP. Isn't that punishment enough?

More, anon.
Prospero

Marketing for Dummies (or Should that Be "to Dummies?")

Christmas is essentially over. Uncle P has one more gift exchange with my three closest friends tomorrow and today was a Boxing Day gift exchange and Chinese smorgasbord with dear friends from college. I think everyone was and will be quite pleased with their gifts. 

Sadly, it's the gifts that seem to be the focus of Christmas, these days (though honestly, with my friends, it's the chance to spend time together). And yes, that's an old complaint. As far back as (and probably well before) 1965's "A Charlie Brown Christmas," Charles Schultz was bemoaning the commercialization of the holiday. Of course, we all have Mr. Charles Dickens to thank for it. Before the publication of A Christmas Carol, Christmas was a minor Christian holiday, far surpassed by Easter, which is the basis for the entire religion. And it was only after the Catholics co-opted the pagan holiday of Winter Solstice that the birth of Jesus was celebrated in December. Historical accounts place the actual birth in March or April, depending on which calendar is being used. And please don't get me wrong; I have no doubt that Jesus of Nazareth existed. There are plenty of documents other than the New Testament to verify that. It's the rest of it I have a problem with. 

But none of that has anything to do with this post. And I'm sure by now you must be wondering what any of this has to with Marketing and the new NBC musical "Smash." Well, I'll tell you.

I came across this first video on Facebook, posted by three friends whose only connection is yours truly. Riley is an amazingly perceptive young lady, who goes on a gender-biased marketing rant in her local Toys-R-Us. I hope she maintains her amazing acuity as she gets older.

I see a Gender Studies Major in the making, here.

And then on Towleroad, I came across the  promotional clip for the aforementioned "Smash" below. Produced by Steven Spielberg and starring Deborah Messing; Angelica Huston; Megan Hilty; Jack Devenport and "American Idol" winner Katharine McPhee, "Smash" is a story about the mounting of a Broadway musical, from inception to opening night curtain. The musical in question is a biography of Marilyn Monroe and from what I can gather, it focuses on the making of a 'star.' 

Now that's how you market a new show.

Spielberg admits that he is clueless about how a Broadway show comes to fruition, so it will be interesting to see if he has put together the right team to pull off a show like "Smash." Having cut my teeth on musical theatre and about to start rehearsals for what I'm pretty sure will be my last musical theatre performance, I am intrigued by and excited for "Smash." I hope it lives up to its hype.

I hope I made all the connections, here. We're all targets, folks. Just look at the ads on you Facebook walls. Hell, look at the ads Google places on my blog. Buy this! Watch that! Spend your money here! It doesn't take a genius to see what the Madmen are doing. The real joke is, they're making money by telling you where and how to spend yours. It makes my head hurt...

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week (NSFW Version)

This isn't just the Gayest Thing This Week, but probably the kinkiest thing I have ever (or will ever) post.

There are all sorts of folks who fancy fantasy and fetishwear (say that three times, fast). Slick It Up is a company that specializes in clothing, underwear and assorted 'gear' for men who are into such things. Not that I have ever found such items or practices to be particularly enjoyable - the whole thing seems a bit claustrophobic for my taste. And not that I would judge or belittle anyone who is into that scene. Whatever floats your boat, as long as all parties are mutually agreeable and no one gets hurt.

I suppose my biggest misconception about this particular group of people is that they all take it so deadly serious. Have you ever seen a 'Miss Heather' episode of "C.S.I.?" Never has the profundity of B & D been so emphasized as when Grissom and Heather get into a discussion about the diverse nature of human sexuality.

But when I stumbled across the below commercial for Slick It Up, I couldn't help but notice how funny it was. Even the tattoo-skulled French gay porn star Francios Sagat (L.A. Zombie; Saw VI) has his tongue firmly planted in (facial) cheek for this one (probably NSFW):

I don't know about you, but I find it rather refreshing to see fetishists who have a sense of humor. Honestly, if anything about the Human Condition is funny, it's sex. And there's probably nothing funnier than weird sex in outrageous costumes. 

As for Uncle P, there is almost nothing funnier than people in mascot costumes falling down. The stupid, unchanging smile on the face of the mascot head totally belies the look of confusion, fear and disorientation on the face of the person beneath it. I made mention of this on a comment at my dear friend Stephen's blog Post Apocalyptic Bohemian just yesterday, when he blogged about the birthday of Harper Lee. As I shared with him and his reader's, it all started with the scene in "To Kill a Mockingbird" in which Scout runs home in a ham costume, the thought of which I found endlessly hilarious even though it was hardly meant to be funny.

And tell the truth now - can you look at a guy in a black rubber poodle costume and not laugh? I thought not.

More, anon.

Prospero

Okay - Which One of You Fooled the B*tch?

If you live in the Northeast today, these daffodils were a familiar sight to many of you. And you also know the "b*tch" in today's April Fools' Day post. It's Mother Nature, of course. And if you were around in the U.S. in the 1970's, you knew her from her string of commercials for Chiffon brand margarine. I don't know if Chiffon still exists of not. I haven't bought margarine since the 70's. Chiffon's motto/jingle was "If you think it's butter, but it's not, it's Chiffon!" My mother used to save the  plastic tubs after the oily goo was gone and re-purpose them as storage containers for left-overs. Green out of necessity? Tupperware was never cheap... You never knew what might be lurking in a Chiffon container in our fridge.

That's character actress Dena Deitrich as Mother Nature, Borden's face of Chiffon throughout the 70's, who somehow kept getting tricked into thinking Chiffon was butter. My Depression-child father grew up on margarine, which meant we did, too. It's repulsive sutff, really; waxy and tasteless -- in other words, nothing like butter whatsoever. Of  course, once I found out  that even flies won't eat the stuff, I never used it again.

Butter may be a little bad for you, but you know where it comes from and how (essentially) it is made. There was absolutely nothing natural about Chiffon (or any other margarine product) in the 70's. Made from hydrogenated oils, with artificial flavors, coloring and preservatives., they bore little resemblance to any real food, let alone butter. I cannot speak to today's versions, as I have not had them.

But that's not what this post is about. It's about Mother Nature run amok on April Fools' Day, snowing and raining then snowing more and then the sun came out and it rained with the sun out. It was a weird weather day, alright. Maybe the stupid bitch got fooled again. She's a stupid bitch.

There were some very funny things on the web, today. Ryan Seacrest had both his website and Twitter account hijacked by the Bronx Zoo Cobra. BoingBoing (among a few other sites) skewered the New York Times' by announcing a so-called "pay-wall" of their own.  Google, as usual, had some of the best ones. I really liked "Gmail Motion:"

And there was this one from last year, "Google Translate for Animals:"

I didn't get pranked today, but I heard this story about someone who was. An IT Technician sent a rather gullible person an email saying a new "voice activated feature" had been added to the copiers. For added measure, he printed up an official looking sign that read: "This copier has been upgraded and is now voice activated. The keypad for this copier has been deactivated. Please speak clearly; the copier will not respond if it cannot understand your request. Thank you. IT." Apparently the poor  thing stood at the copier saying "Print 10 copies" and "Print!" and "Print, please" and any variation she could think of, over-enunciating and getting very frustrated before another co-worker couldn't hold back and started laughing. I don't know what the woman's response to getting punked was. It seemed pretty harmlessly amusing to me. But then, I'm a jerk.

Any of you guys get punked; pranked; tricked; fooled; bamboozled; conned; played or otherwise abused today? Or did you punk; prank; trick; fool... etc., someone? Did you see or hear about an amazing punk; prank... yadda, yadda, yadda...? Your very own funny Uncle P wants you to share. Unburden yourself here. We won't judge... much.

Happy Weekend, especially to you folks who keep coming back to read the opinions of an aging gay pop culture geek. I have lots of cooking, eating and theatre coming up this weekend, so I'm off to do a few other things before bed tonight. A full report on tomorrow's dinner party, tomorrow night.

More, anon.

Prospero

I'm Sick to Death of...

The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is still over a month away and I am already sick of hearing about it. The impending royal nuptials have absolutely no bearing on my life, yet the media insists on bombarding me with mindless details about it.

I'm not British. My life is completely unaffected by their wedding and frankly, I just don't give a flying crap. Seriously, do you care about this? Does it have any impact on your day-to-day life? I didn't think so.

There are plenty of things I'm sick of seeing on TV these days. Most of them are really bad commercials for products and/or services I don't need; don't want and don't care about. yet there they are, blaring their nonsensical noise about every 15 minutes or so, reminding us that the world these days revolves around mindless consumerism. Infomercials, salacious "infotainment" and pointless gossip are everywhere. That's not to say things like the death of a legend aren't news. But spending hour upon hour covering them seems not only boring, but downright ghoulish.

Of course, the worst offenders are cable channel commercials. Honestly, I just want to smack these people in the face and tell them to go away forever:







And that's just the tip of the iceberg. These kinds of commercials are the very reason I DVR all my favorite Prime Time shows, just to zap past them. Occasionally, someone will produce a funny commercial that catches my eye:



But these are sadly few and far between.

So, what topics, commercials or "news" items are you sick of hearing about? I always love your comments.

More, anon..
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

That's Darren Criss, currently the most adorable young man on TV. A very talented vocalist and actor who isn't too hard on the ole peepers, Criss' "Glee" character Blaine is a role model for young gay men who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality.

I think it's no secret that I'm a "Gleek." I've pretty much loved the show since it first aired, and I suppose it's because I was a high school Chorus and Drama Club geek, myself. Of course, in those days, small town gay boys were all as closeted as I was and we had no role models to tell us it was okay.

Yes, "Glee" is inconsistent in its writing (as my friend Jonathan is always quick to point out) and certainly unbelievable (as every musical ever made is). But at it's heart, "Glee" is a show about surviving the worst four years of your life with the support and encouragement of like-minded friends who, despite all their differences and personal dramas, manage to come together to produce something bigger than themselves as individuals. It's about the best in ourselves, flying our freak flags and damn everyone and anyone who thinks we're lame.

On last night's episode, Blaine and Kurt (Golden Globe winner Chris Colfer) finally shared their first and second kiss - something we Gleeks have been waiting for almost all season:

Of course, no one jumped and screamed and carried on at my house when Blaine finally kissed Kurt (except maybe in my head), but that doesn't mean other folks didn't. Check out this video (via) of some fans Gleeking out over it:

The episode also included several original songs (a first for the show), the best of which was the song that won New Directions the Regionals, while taking down their arch-enemy, Sue Sylvester (the amazing Jane Lynch) "Loser Like Me":

And in totally unrelated gay news, the Chinese may not be very progressive when it comes to Democracy, but they certainly have no problem when it comes to addressing the sexual safety of it's gay countrymen. I was blown away (no pun intended) when I stumbled across this hilariously cute Chinese condom ad (no translations necessary - may be NSFW):

Wow. There's no denying who that ad is aimed at...

Personally, I view these video clips as progress for both American and Chinese television... The LGBT community is finally starting to be recognized as something other than comedic foils on television. And that's a really, really good thing. More, please.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Most Homophobic Thing You'll See This Week

I was planning on watching Rubber On Demand this weekend, but then I read Pax's review over at Billy Loves Stu and decided to wait and spend my money on something else. I still want to and will see it, but not for full price. Pax is a good guy,  a fellow Jersey Boy and he loves horror movies as much as I do. If you don't already read Billy Loves Stu, you should check it out.

So... There's some very odd stuff going on tonight, including the picture on your right and it's relevance to what I really want to to talk about. And no, Mr. Lucas please don't sue me, I am in no way implying that Ewoks, you, your company or your movies are homophobic, but it was one of the top 3 results I got when I Googled an image using a specific combination of words, which I promise I will tell you  about after I discuss tonight's main topic. Once I reveal that search combination, you'll be as puzzled by this picture's inclusion as the #3 suggestion as I initially was. Number 3! What, are you kidding me?

But I digress. Regular readers may be familiar with my "Gayest Thing" posts, in which I, in good humor, point out something particularly gay (and about which no one has ever complained or posted negative comments). In other words, if I ever offended anyone on my blog, they've never told me so. I would post it and respond accordingly and move on.

Then I saw the commercial posted below for Foster's Beer, an Australian import of which I have never been a fan (and trust me - I may be a martini snob, but I am a beer aficionado). If someone knows better, please correct me if I am wrong, but I remember being told by an Aussie that Foster's was made for export and most Aussies despise it. Trust me when I tell you, Foster's is not a very good beer. While Uncle P prefers darker, bolder and more interestingly seasoned beers, I would honestly have a Budweiser or a (Heaven forfend) Miller over a Foster's.

"Where the hell is all this going?" you are asking yourself, if you haven't already given up and gone off to play World of Warcraft or Angry Birds. Well, watch the commercial and then come back. I promise it will all make sense (or at least I hope it will).

Why is Advertising (as an industry on the whole) still okay with being homophobic? Is everyone in the industry a giggling straight, white boy scared that gay can be "caught" like the flu, through certain activities and associations? Is Don Draper still in charge? It makes me crazy for so many reasons.

First, are straight men really all that freaked out by gay men, anymore? Survey says: Not the ones I know. The vast majority of my male friends are straight, and it just seems to me that they've all long ago moved on to real issues. It gets better for everyone, it seems.. well, mostly everyone. Not Foster's. Or Frito-Lay:

And nor Frito-Lay's parent company, Pepsico:

Why is ridiculing being gay still funny? Or rather, why do advertisers continue to insist that it is? I can't believe that no one working for these ad companies wasn't the tiniest bit offended by their employer's product? Really?

Well, some folks are speaking up. I had never heard of actor Avan Jogia (who looks to me in that picture  like a young Brendan Routh - I said, "don't get me started!"). In fact, the only credit on his IMDb page I recognize is the short-lived SyFy "Battlestar Gallactica" prequel, "Caprica." He is also apparently known for a Nickolodeon series. But I know his name now, and you should too. He's lent his opinion and talents to an anti-homophobia video for the non-profit Straight but Not Narrow (via):

I suggest you check out Straight but Not Narrow. They have a different straight ally opine every Friday.

Okay, I know... So how the hell in the name of sanity is an Ewok even remotely related to any of this?  Well, I will tell you. After seeing that Foster's commercial and deciding to make homophobic advertising tonight's topic (as well as creating a new label), I went in search of a rather specific image. I wanted either a can of Foster's or their logo inside a red circle with a line through it. You know, like Ghostbusters, but with Foster's instead of a ghost. Or a cigarette. Or Ugly Chicks.  I figured just about everything's out there, right? So I went to Google Images and searched "Foster's + 'no' symbol"). Google tried (I guess), but the random Ewok picture as the number 3 suggestion just kind of made my day. And it is on that very round-about ending of a story that I shall move on to other things, and let you do so as well.

More, anon.

Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Not that I'm now shilling for Frito-Lay (I'm not). but for the past several years they've been running a "Crash the Superbowl" contest, the winner of which gets to have his or her Doritos commercial air during the Superbowl (you know it exists, even if you don't watch it).*

There have been some very funny entries and winners over the years, though I don't really remember any gay-themed entries in the past (or at least any that were positive - oh wait, that's Snickers. Nevermind - suck it, Mars).

Anyway, I discovered the two entries below tonight on Towleroad. They are funny and inoffensive enough, as long you have a sense of humor -- something sorely lacking in so many people these days. I mean I'm all for political correctness -- to a certain extent. Sometimes, though, you just have to sit back, laugh and admit something's funny, even if it isn't particularly PC. Still, I don't think there's anything particularly offensive in either of these spots (unless you object to half-naked hotties, but that's a different issue altogether). So, without further ado, here are the two gayest entries in this year's contest:

Yes. Yes I do.

I'll bet she never lets him trim those hedges again...

And on a more serious note, also via Towleroad but seen on several other sites today, a courageous young woman (identified only as "Kayla K.") comes out to her entire High School as part of their MLK Day festivities. Kudos to this courageous young lady and to the school officials who were not afraid to let her do it:

We need more kids like this, more educators like this and more people who are willing to "Break the Silence." I certainly hope she finds the partner of her dreams. She (as do we all) deserves it. That video should be required viewing in every High School in the U.S.

More, anon.
Prospero

*Update - 1/26/11: Since I posted this, Frito-Lay has distanced themselves from these ads (via) saying they are fan-made and will definitely NOT appear during the Superbowl. Personally, I know no one who found these ads offensive and think if Frito Lay was smart, they'd start wooing gay customers.

Enough With the Creepy Talking Babies, Already

Considering all the Horror/Sci-Fi/Fantasy movies and shows I watch, you would think that very little would scare, unnerve or creep me out. And you'd be right. But there is one thing that disturbs me more than you can imagine - talking babies. I'm not not talking about babies and their first words. "Dada" and "Mama" are hardly scary and can be downright adorable under the right conditions.

No, I'm talking about CGI manipulated images of babies dubbed with adult voices, as seen in TD Ameritrade's commercials of late. Honestly, little else can make my skin crawl like those commercials. Except perhaps the 2002 CBS sitcom "Baby Bob," which starred Adam Arkin and Joely Fisher as the parents of a particularly precocious talking infant. The show also starred the underrated Holland Taylor (now stuck on the obscenely awful and inexplicably popular "Two and a Half Men") and former Mr. Barbra Streisand, Elliott Gould. Apparently, the show was so creepy, I couldn't find any clips of it, anywhere. According to Wikipedia, the character of Baby Bob originated in commercials for the now-defunct Freeinternet.com and after the show's run, reappeared in a series of commercials for the Quiznos sandwich chain:

Okay, I don't know what's creepier in that clip - the talking baby or the sexualization of an infant. Of course, the sexualization of young children always disturbs me. Especially in this context:

Dear God, why is a four year-old being referred to as "...a seasoned professional?" You might as well call her a "whore." The whole concept of child beauty pageants disgusts me. I recently got into a rather heated debate with an old friend about this very subject. Apparently, she had put her daughter through the pageant experience and found it to be positive and uplifting for the girl, who has (according to my friend) since gone on to well-adjusted life. I'm still dubious. Is it any wonder that some creep found JonBenet Ramsey such a turn-on that he had to kill her?* Growing up in the 60's and 70's, there were no children's pageants (or at least, none of which I was aware). Now, they are everywhere. And it saddens me that parents would subject their kids to wearing makeup, hairpieces, false teeth and suggestive costumes in order to win money and scholarships.

I firmly believe that children should be allowed to be children, and not be subject to their parents' fantasies or vicarious hopes.

Now that I have veered slightly off-topic, let's get back to Creepy Talking Babies, shall we?

Still... the sexualization of children continues to pervade the airwaves, especially in Ameritrade's (E*Trade) most recent Superbowl commercial in which the hip, talking baby not only has a girlfriend, but a piece on the side, as well:

It's almost like the Talking Tina episode of "The Twilight Zone":

Or even worse, this commercial for a real talking doll, Mattel's 'Baby Secret':

"I want to tell you a secret... you must kill Mommy and Daddy!"

Seriously, is it just me? Or have we all become so numb to advertising that we allow this kind of crap to go on? Did we learn nothing from "The Bad Seed;" "The Village of the Damned" "Children of the Corn" or "The Children?" More importantly have we learned nothing about the early-sexualization of children since the JonBenet Ramsey murder? That any parent can allow his or her child to subjected to this kind of judgment at such an early age, only manages to reinforce the stereotypes of beauty that Hollywood and Madison Avenue have foisted upon us for more than a hundred years. Should we be surprised that anorexia and bulimia are so prevalent among young girls? And should we be surprised that images of children in adult makeup and costumes encourage pedophiles to act on their deviant impulses? Okay - I'm all for attractive young adults showing off their bodies, but we need to draw the line somewhere.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

More, anon.
Prospero

*While there is no evidence to support the theory that JonBenet was killed by a pedophile, there is little doubt in my mind that such pageants encourage deviant behaviors among those already inclined toward such activity.