Matthew 7:15 or: "The Rise of Gilead"

See You Next Tuesday!

You'll notice I didn't use that crazy-eyes picture of Ms Bachmann for this piece. In fact, I specifically looked for one that was attractive. And there is no doubt, the former Intelligence Committee member (insert your own oxymoron joke here) is an attractive woman. And so is She Who Must Not Be Named. And why is that? Because the Christian Right (which I will forever and ever continue to insist, is neither) is middle America. Breadbasket, small town, Ozzies and Harriets; Beavers and Wallys., who go to work  and school and church and do and believe everything people in authority tell them to do and believe. The people in authority? Well, they'll lie and scare and do anything they can to keep Ozzie and Harriet under their thumbs. The Face of Hate in America isn't a white man under a white hood or a skin-head Neo-Nazi. No, my friends, the Face of Hate in America is Mom. 

Bachmann continues to spread lies about LGBT people (I can only suppose) in the hope that they will get her elected in 2016. They should get her censured, at the least. You can read and /or listen to her most recent offensive comments at Thenewcivilrightsmovement.com, if you are so inclined. Though I must comment on one quote in particular. It is one of the oldest and most proven incorrect lie these hate-fueled dimwits use when trying to justify their hate:

•  "Also, they want to abolish age of consent laws. We would do away with statutory rape laws, so adults would be able to freely prey on little children sexually. That’s the deviance that we’re seeing embraced in our culture today.”   

This lie continues to be spread by the Right, even though every reputable therapist, psychologist and psychiatrist refutes it. Of course, how can we expect the the truth (or even anything sensible) from a woman who claimed that the HPV vaccine did the following to a 12 year old girl in FL:  "(she)... took that vaccine, that injection -- and suffered from mental retardation thereafter." Really? So, you are using an archaic and generally accepted as offensive word, while blaming the offensive (to you) condition on a medically sound prophylaxis which has been proven safe and effective? Hmmm... so I suppose when you got your Polio suger-cube, you got Polio? I know I did. NOT! (Yeah, immature, I know - but at least I read).

In Margaret Atwood's chilling 1985 novel, "The Handmaid's Tale," America in 2195 has devolved into a dystopian Christian theocracy called The Republic of Gilead, where women (especially unmarried women) have no say over what happens to them. The central character Offred, is the titular 'handmaid,' basically a baby factory for the ruling class. In Atwood's Gilead, LGBT people are labeled 'gender traitors' and hanged. This is exactly what the Right wants, only they don't want to wait another 170 years. They want it now. And they present it as truth. And the weak and uneducated believe them. Because they look like Mom. And so what if Dad is fruitier than you're Uncle P? He can cure himself with 'Reparative Therapy," praise Jebus! Reverend Shambock says it's so! Of course, neither of your two Uncle Ricks' eating habits are helping... 

Listen, I don't care what you believe. Personally, I wish no one believed (because it would end so many conflicts and so much hatred). And yes, I have plenty of friends who are believers of one faith or another. I don't dislike or shun them because of it. And yes, the vast majority of my believer friends are progressive liberals like Uncle P.

 I do care about your politics, though. But when your politics are based on your dogma, you get a very smelly tire fire that needs to put out well-before even coming close to being a problem.

And while I can't speak for any of you (or however many are left, at this point), I refuse to go back in the closet for June effing Cleaver on Zoloft!

Rant over. Enjoy your weekends! 

More, anon.
Prospero

A Sad Waste of Life

Glad I'm Not the First to Make this Comparison

So, on the day of the 2014 vernal equinox, the Reverend Fred Phelps (one of, if not THE most hated men in America) kicked the bucket. Bought the farm. Expired. Became an ex-human. Oh, wait -- maybe not that last one. Seems like he'd already done that to himself a long time ago.

Westboro Baptist started in 1955 as a branch of a small church in Topeka, where Fred Phelps was the assistant pastor. After his promotion to pastor of the new church on the other side of town, Phelps soon cut off all relations with the founding group. In 1964, Phelps earned his Juris Doctorate at Washburn and became a civil rights activist, defeating Jim Crow laws in Kansas. Somewhere along the way, Phelps lost his mind and became a religious fanatic, forcing his views on his family with threats and beatings (according to many who have since left the WBC, including Phelps' son Nate, now an LGBT rights activist in Canada). Disbarred in Kansas in 1979 and in Federal Court ten years later, Phelps and his followers (now mostly just members of his family) began their infamous picketing in 1991. By 2001, everyone knew the Westboro Baptist Church and their message of "God's" hatred of homosexuality. Phelps infamously told talk-show host (and original Tracy Turnblad) Ricki Lake the he "...worshiped her rectum..." after appearing on her show in 1994. Lake reportedly had Phelps forcibly removed from the studio.

But then a wonderful thing happened along the way... people started to hear and see Phelps' message for the lies and hate it was. A spotlight was shone on their bigotry and people took notice and started to rethink their own thoughts on LGBT people. So that was good, I suppose. 

Last year, a sort of coup was staged at WBC. Phelps, ailing and possibly softening his views, was excommunicated and the church elected a group of 8 Elders while ousting Shirley Phelps-Roper as WBC's official spokesperson. These details are just coming to light after it was announced earlier this week that Phelps was near death.

And while some might rejoice at the news of Phelps' death, I can't help but think of the sad waste of time and energy that was his life. If he and his congregation had spent just a tenth of that time and energy helping those in need as they did spreading hatred, the world would be a much better place.  Meanwhile, the WBC (having learned nothing) has announced that it's business and picketing* as usual for the SPLC-identified hate group. And of course, this could be the next step toward drinking the Kool-Aid -- and how sad would that be? There are still children there, being indoctrinated in hatred by fear. So, very sad...

Still, I can't imagine anyone wants to leave this world known for their hateful, hurtful actions, even if they are insane enough to truly believe they are doing the opposite. I'd like to believe that maybe Fred did soften near the end. maybe even felt bad about he'd done, or at least how he'd done it. I'd like to, but I don't. 

Here's what TMZ had to say:

*On a side note - in a purely self-serving move to generate publicity for JTMF's production of The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told, we tried desperately to get WBC to come protest. Sadly, their protest calendar was already full that summer. 

More, anon.
Prospero

Love and Death

Saint Valentine?

It's been a very long time since Uncle P has had a Valentine. In fact, I think I've mentioned before that the last Valentine's Day I celebrated, my date dumped me (the night after we saw Shakespeare in Love).

The photo to your right is of a supposed 'Holy Relic' of what may have been any number of Christian martyrs by the Roman name of Valentinus. Having directed what should have been a wonderful production of Michael Hollinger's play Incorruptible (a theatre story for another post), I doubt the veracity of any and all such 'relics.'

Nonetheless, Hallmark; Hershey's; Nestle's; Godiva; American Greetings; Zales; Jarrod's and the SAF (among any other number of retailers) have all managed to turn the legend of a Christian martyr who either died because he professed his love to a Roman woman or performed Christian marriages despite prohibitive Roman law (sound familiar?) into a money-making opportunity. There's no definitive story for this particular 'saint' and much like St. Christopher, Valentine's actual existence is often called into question. Like most modern Western holidays, I regard Valentine's Day as a shameless grab at consumers' money. If you are lucky enough to have a special person in your life, it shouldn't take a special day for you to do or buy something to show how much you love them. And the possibly horrific murder of a 3rd Century priest really shouldn't make one bit of difference.

If we're talking murder and mayhem, this is more my style:



More, anon.
Prospero

21st Century Flaws

I have to wonder why, in the second decade of the 21st Century, the majority of our planet's citizens remain a bunch of superstitious, uninformed and downright ignorant jerks.

The Russians have basically declared war on the LGBT community. Muslim nations continue to subjugate women and criminally punish gay people just for being themselves. Republican asshats like Rick Perry refuse to recognize basic Human Rights and fear-mongering jerkwads like Bryan Fischer are allowed to spread hateful lies about Nazis being gay.

I know... I've been on this particular soapbox for a long time. But it's a soapbox I will not step down from until everyone realizes what a bunch of a-holes they're being.

And it's not just an LGBT issue. Middle-Eastern women are still having acid thrown in their faces or being murdered for expressing their autonomy. Children are still being sold into slavery (both sexual and menial). Refugees seeking better lives are still being exploited by farmers, pimps and pornographers. Dictators are using unspeakably awful weapons against their own people. Horrors are still being perpetrated against people all over the globe. Why? It's not like there are no agencies or groups trying their best to put a stop to these atrocities. In fact, there are probably more such groups than ever before.

Sadly, fear; greed and avarice have been part of the Human Condition since the Dawn of Civilization (and probably even before). There will always be people in power who care only about themselves. There will always be people who perpetrate evil deeds for their own gain. There will always be people who prey on the fear of death to fill their own pockets. I fear there may be no way to stop them, short of killing them. And that's awful, too.

No, I'm not saying I advocate Communism. We've all seen how well that system works. I am, however, advocating Humanism. Do what's right because you know it's the right thing to do, rather than doing what someone else says their version of "God" says it's the right thing to do. Treat every person you come across as you would want them to treat you (sound familiar?).

This is 2013. We all should be past this crap and trying to figure out how to feed, clothe and house everyone on the planet we all share.

I have no idea how to fix this mess (well, maybe a few, which many would reject), but I suspect that Education has the best chance of doing so. That and the eradication of irrational religious beliefs. But that just brings us back to fear...

Maybe Global Warming is the answer, after all. Humans seem to be the worst thing to happen to Earth since the extinction of the dinosaurs. I hope the cockroaches will take better care of the planet than we have, once we're gone.

Rant over (for now). More of my usual nonsense, anon.
Prospero

Sex, Lies and Pat Roberston

Pants on Fire

Pat Robertson continues to be one of the worst human beings alive. I'm not saying this because I'm gay. I'm saying this because I am a rational human being. 

Listen, I have no problem admitting I am a Secular Humanist. I also have no problem with people who are religious. I have a dear friend of over 35 years who is an Episcopal priest. My own sister is a devout Christian. Neither of them have condemned me to hell because of my innate sexuality. They take the New Testament at it's word: "Love thy neighbor as thou wouldst love thyself." They also know that many of the things in the Old Testament were written before the rise of Science and Reason.

But there are plenty of uninformed, frightened and honestly ignorant 'Christians' who fall for the kind of fear-mongering their religious leaders use to keep them in line (i.e. 'donating'). These preachers continue to use and abuse the Bible to further their own agendas, threatening their followers with eternal damnation if they don't agree with their vitriol. Among the worst offenders is Pat Robertson, who hosts the "700 Club" (founded by the very publicly disgraced Jim Bakker). Robertson's obviously loony claims include telling a woman whose husband had cheated on her that she should make a home so nice he wouldn't want to stray. But earlier this week, Robertson made what is probably his most insane claim, ever:

"The Stuff" to which Robertson refers is HIV/AIDS. And while there are admittedly a very few equally insane people who do want to infect others and even fewer and even more insane folks who actually seek out infection (more on that in another post, someday), Robertson's story about HIV+ people in San Francisco using special rings to infect innocent people with AIDS is probably the singularly most preposterous statement I've ever heard. And I'm not the only one to think so:

Thankfully, the folks at CBN (The Christian Broadcasting Network) recognized Robertson's ramblings as false and didn't air that particular segment, but that didn't stop his hateful claim from being posted online for everyone to see.

Personally, I don't understand how any educated person in the 21st Century still believes that homosexuality is a product of demonic possession; the result of sexual abuse; influenced by other gay people or a deliberate choice. Having never been possessed, abused, influenced nor having deliberately chosen my sexuality (as has no one else, ever) I find myself both alternately wanting to punch Robertson in his nose, asking him when he 'chose' to be straight and sitting down with him and explaining just how wrong he is.

Here's the thing: As long as there are superstitious, uneducated people, Robertson and his ilk will continue to influence their opinions. Using fear; threats; misinformation and outright lies to propagate prejudice, people like Robertson, Vladimir Putin, the most recent former Pope; the head of the ROC; Robert Mugabe and various Hindu and Muslim leaders will do everything they can to keep their followers from recognizing Truth.

Ignorance is not bliss, folks. It is death. Thankfully, the tide seems to be turning and with the recent SCOTUS rulings, the U.S. is well on the way toward joining the 21st Century in recognizing that LGBT people are deserving the same Human Rights as our straight counterparts. For the first time in my lifetime, I have hope that I will not die a second-class citizen, something I honestly never thought I'd live to see. The times are indeed, a-changing. 

I just hope that those who refuse to accept reality will eventually realize that if they don't grow, learn and accept the truth, they will leave a legacy of ignorance and hate for future generations to scorn and ridicule.

More, anon.

Prospero

Some Truth, Some Justice and One More Thing

Scott "Kill the Gays" Lively. See: Degenerate; D-Bag; A-Hole; Creep

2013 has been quite a banner year for LGBT Equality, both here and abroad. Of course, these strides have been much to the consternation of the extreme right, who continually make claims about the "wrath of God" and the path to the End of Days, yet claim to follow a man who preached "Love they neighbor as thou wouldst love thyself." Jesus supposedly performed attended a marriage but is never quoted as saying anything about it. Nor does he say anything about homosexuality. Yes, he tells his followers to obey the laws of the Torah, but he was Jewish. Of course he would. I suspect that the man depicted in the New Testament would be pretty unpopular with modern extremists. "Hippie scum!" "Tree-Hugger!" "Fag!" (Oh, how I hated typing that word). "Commie Pig!" Still, you know that's what they call modern peace and anti-violence proponents.

I'm not, as you know, a believer. But I understand all and agree with most of the precepts in the New Testament. But they seem to me more instinctive, than anything. Yes, stealing and killing and raping are bad. I don't need a shaman to tell me that. That was my parents' (and later, my teachers') job. And I think they did pretty well. I didn't need to be afraid of eternal pain for not doing the right thing, though I was on occasion the recipient of momentary pain when I deserved it (which was extremely rare and not ever anywhere close to abusive). And the thought of the humiliation of being arrested has kept me from doing anything really stupid. That's not to say I haven't had close calls. I can think of more than a few times I was certain I would be calling for bail money, only to get off with a ticket or warning.

Scott Lively, author of the absurd The Pink Swastika, an "expose" in which Lively (pastor of the Abiding Truth Ministries, which is officially recognized by the SPLC as a Hate Group) claims that Hitler's Nazi's were gay and used their pent-up aggression to kill Jews (or some such crapalicious bovine excrement), has been ordered to stand trial for Crimes Against Humanity for his role in crafting and supporting Uganda's so-called "Kill the Gays Bill." Federal Judge Michael Ponser, ruling the case eligible for trail, said in part: 

"The history and current existence of discrimination against LGBTI people is precisely what qualifies them as a distinct targeted group eligible for protection under international law. The fact that a group continues to be vulnerable to widespread, systematic persecution in some parts of the world simply cannot shield one who commits a crime against humanity from liability."

 This truly is the beginning of the end for the Anti-Equality Movement. I don't know what penal sentence would accompany Lively's conviction, though I know what peni... No! No, no, no! Not going to go there (penile -- ooh, what a give-away!). Damnit! What I mean to say is that even in those "Country Club Prisons," some guys are going to be some other guy's bitch. And you may look tough, Rev, but I'm willing to place $100 on you crying like a little girl the first time your new cellmate bends your legs over your ears.

Someday, a very long time after all of us are gone, superstition will have fallen away to science and reason and none of this will matter.  But that someday is still a long way off (if we don't succumb to climate change before then). What matters now is stopping the people who preach hate under the guise of love, using fear and superstition to keep their followers in line. 

But here's the thing: They are getting desperate. They know that they are losing in the court of public opinion and they are running scared. We saw the same kinds of behaviors in the 60's and 70's when it came to African American and Women's Rights. Sadly, they will continue to moan and complain and paint themselves as martyrs and victims long after they've lost. But they'll eventually die off. I'm just glad I am here to see the start of it. 

Regardless of the trial's outcome, it is unlikely that the poison in Lively will dissipate. He can't bring himself to admit that he might be wrong and suddenly see the error of his ways. He isn't smart enough to evolve and reinterpret what he grew up 'knowing' to be the 'truth.' FDR said it the best: "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." We have much scarier things to worry about, folks. Love shouldn't be one of them.

As for Mr. Lively, I hope he is found very guilty (because he is) and that he spends many years living out the prison rape fantasies he's undoubtedly harbored since adolescence, though not nearly as pleasant as he probably imagined. I actually feel sad that he is so filled with hate and fear and can only hope he lets go of them and finds personal peace.

More, anon.
Prospero
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A Few More Thoughts on SCOTUS

The FRC's New Logo. 'call 2 fail'

Hahahahahahaha! On your right is the Family Research Council's response to Wednesday's landmark SCOTUS decisions regarding LGBT rights. And while I will get to the graphic and the slogan in just a bit, I have to ask these morons one question. Assuming there is a "God;" an invisible Supreme Being who is watching everything we do; answering the deserving prayers of the Just... oh. There it is. Don't you think that if God agreed with you (i.e. thought of you as 'Just'), he would have answered your prayers and swayed SCOTUS with some deus ex machina move of some sort? I mean, I don't know - He could have appeared to Justice Sotomayor in a dream as George Burns (or Charleton Heston) and told her she would burn in hell if she didn't stop the satanic queers from destroying an institution which existed long before any currently recognized religion. God answers the prayers of the Righteous and the Just, right? Or maybe Satan is finally winning the war between Good and Evil (The Force is strong with this one..).

No? God's stronger than Satan, isn't He? Or... oh, you're not gonna like this idea, FOXNews viewers -- What if... what if God was answering the prayers of all the good, loving people who knew that this had nothing to do with Him and everything to do with what's right and what's Constitutional. What if God wanted us to win? Where does that leave you? Certainly not joining your loving deity on a higher plane of existence. Don't worry, there'll be plenty of sulfur to cover the smell of you constantly pooping yourself in hell.

And as for the ridiculous FRC graphic and motto... "On our knees for America?" Seriously? We've been there and will go there again, you morons. "I'm in." That's what he said! And the graphic was obviously designed by someone who's spent more than a few hours in an airport and/or Macy's restroom (not that I would have any first-hand knowledge of that... ). The dopes at FRC need a new advertising staff. Or brains equipped with reason and basic human compassion.

Here's a terrific Superclip (via) of Wednesday's events:

And making me even happier, the Senate n my native state passed a bill banning "Conversion (or Reparative) Therapy for minors. It now awaits centrist Republican Governor Christie's signature. Christie, who took full advantage of POTUS' support after Superstorm Sandy, has previously vetoed a house and senate approved bill for Marriage Equality in NJ, saying he'd rather put it to popular vote. And he has responding negatively to Wednesday's decisions. Local scuttlebutt says that even Christie knows how damaging such 'therapy' can be and expect New Jersey to join California in preventing young LGBTQ people from being subjected to the lies, fear and guilt these programs instill in them. 

As for the events of this past Wednesday... Yes, a major victory was achieved but the fight's hardly over. It's a State by State battle now, with a goal of full national Equality within 5 years. I don't see that as unattainable, no mater how many states are dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st Century. I'm sorry so many who would have loved to see this day are gone, but I'm so happy for those who no longer have to live without rights that were previously denied us. No child born after today will ever have to feel ignored by his or her leaders because of who he or she is, or who his or her parents are.

We are no longer 'Less Than' in the eyes of our government. We will never be so again. That's a good thing.

More, anon.

Prospero

Review -- 5 For & 5 Against: "This Is the End"

This Is the End, Featuring Everyone

If you read my pity party post last weekend, then you you'll be glad to know that yes, I am over it. Part of that has to do with not only how quickly the work week seemed to go despite how slow we are, right now (Oh, don't worry - this is our regular slow season; this particular NPO isn't going away any time soon). And while I did just as much yard work (if not more) today as I did last weekend, I also got to actually see a Summer movie that was on my list, and spend some time with my friend, Mike. Again, the movie's been out for a week and a half, the big reviews are out and any spoilers I might spoil have already been leaked (though I promise to alert you to them as always).

While there have been movies about the End of the World for almost as long as there have been movies, it seems to me that comedies about the End are few and far between. Last year's Seeking a Friend for the End of the World was less than hilarious, though 2009's Zombieland was very much so. Kubrick's comedic genius is quite evident in 1964's Dr. Strangelove and Roman Polanski's 1967 horror-comedy The Fearless Vampire Killers does end with the vampires taking over the world. Then there's Ivan Reitman's 2001 alien invasion comedy Evolution. Basically a Sci-Fi re-hash of Ghostbusters and a massive fail, Evolution  could have been so much better than it was, though I don't know of anyone who remembers seeing this movie, but me and my friend Laura. So that's five off the top of my head... if I'm missing any, please let me know.

Based on an NSFW short film/faux trailer made by stars Seth Rogan (doing his best MacCauley Caulkin in the photo above) and Jay Baruchel called Jay and Seth vs. The Apocalypse (see it here - again, NSFW), This Is the End is an End-of-the-World Stoner Comedy featuring every young(ish) comedy star working today, playing and parodying themselves. James Franco; Jonah Hill; Danny McBride; Craig Roberston; Michael Cera; Emma Watson; Mindy Kaling; Christopher Mintz-Plasse; Paul Rudd; Aziz Ansari and the Backstreet Boys make up just some of the dozens of celebrities who find themselves facing an apparently Biblical Apocalypse, complete with the Rapture. Mike and I both liked This Is the End, though he more than me. Here are my 5 For and 5 Against, this time starting with 5 Against:

5 Against:

5. Danny McBride remains as annoying as he always is in every thing I've ever seen him in. And while the movie is constructed to make us hate him, I always hate him. He's rarely, if ever, funny.

4. The movie's second act, despite including an hysterically bad home-made sequel to Pineapple Express, drags a bit. Co-directed by Rogan and Evan Goldberg (Superbad; The Green Hornet), the two just don't seem to know when a joke has run out of steam.

3. SPOILER (highlight to view) -  Urine drinking! Ugh!

2. Again, why include jokes/scenes/visuals in the trailer which don't end up on screen? 

1. While giving some memorable performances, Aziz Ansari and Paul Rudd are terribly under-used. Especially Paul Rudd, who is never even given the chance to be naked. Paul Rudd should be naked at least once in every movie in which he appears (though is seems like he usually is). I know that at my sweet (and quite unsane like me) Mia would agree. Admit it... you do, too. Oh, Paul...

5 For:

5. The well-executed, occasionally cringe-worthy and quite often hilarious CGI.

4. Well-used isual and dialog references from Ghostbusters; Left Behind; The Exorcist; Jurassic Park; Rosemary's Baby and probably dozens more apocalyptic movies.

3. Rhianna gets swallowed into the Abyss.

2. SPOILER (highlight to view) -  Heaven Has Roller Coasters!!!

1. Michael Cera, delivering the movie's funniest performance as what is essentially the 'Anti-Cera.' The scene where Baruchel walks in on Cera in Franco's bathroom is the most uncomfortable belly-laugh you can imagine. And it just gets more hysterically offensive as it progresses.

The very 'Hard R' rated comedy is probably the funniest comedy I've seen in a while. **1/2 (Two and a Half Out of Four Stars). This Is the End is rated 'R' for Apocalyptic Violence; Gore; Language; Sexual Situations; Male Genitalia; Drug Use and Gross-Out Humor. 

And once again, as with the last movie I saw with Mike, there was an very inappropriately aged child brought in by (presumably) his parents. What the...?!?! Have fun explaining all the sexual references the adults found funny to your 9-year old and telling him not to use profanity, a-holes. Then call Family Services and relinquish your parental rights, because you are horrible parents.

More, anon.
Prospero

Ironic Tragedy

F5 Tornado - Topeka, KS. 1966

Tornadoes are measured on the Fujita Scale, named for University of Chicago Meteorologist Tetsuya Fujita, who developed the scale in 1971 (my sweet friend Chris will be so excited that I've done some research on his lifelong obsession, even if I actually learned that from a movie long before I met him). The scale goes from 1 to 5. An F5 tornado is massive and consists of winds up to 300+ MPH. The description of an F5 (via) is terrifying:

"Incredible damage. 

"Strong frame houses lifted off foundations and carried considerable distances to disintegrate; automobile sized missiles fly through the air in excess of 100 m (109 yd); trees debarked; steel reinforced concrete structures badly damaged." 

That's what happened in Oklahoma, today. "Incredible Damage." And it was. The footage on TV and on line is horrifying. As if this writing, there are no final figures, so I won't talk about casualties. I will talk about brave teachers who led their students to safety. I'll never understand why people no longer respect nor approve of teachers. It's no wonder no one wants to go into teaching, anymore. 

But that's neither here nor there. In the wake of this tragedy, as with any natural disaster, myself and everyone like me is going to be blamed for it. In fact, I am certain that as of this writing, some wingnut Evangelical has said the tornadoes were 'God's' punishment for the country's sinful attitudes towards Queer people. Seriously. Don't wait too long before Shirley Phelps and her viperous kinfolk show up to blame a random act of nature on me; my friends; my family and everyone like us. And then there's Pat Robertson, whom I am sure will simply disregard actual, proven science and say that 'God' is vengeful and wrathful and wants to punish us for our sins. I have to wonder why 'God' would take his anger out on a region mostly populated by Robertson's kind of Christians. Shouldn't an angry supreme being  have better targets of destruction? Vegas, maybe. L.A. and New York and San Francisco? Hello? Key West? Provincetown? Miami? New Hope?  No, 'God' chooses Moore, OK, right in the middle of the Bible Belt. What kind of a-hole supreme being punishes the pious for the sins of the wicked? The Judeo-Christian God of Abraham is pretty much a dick, by those standards. 

Meteorologists often refer to an F5 as "The Finger of God." This leads me think of 'God' as a petulant child, swiping away anthills and crushing those ants left behind with his thumb. Either that, or he's a psychopath. I think the thought of 'God' as a snot-nosed 6-year-old psychopath actually scares me much more than the thought of my own mortality. How cruel would it be if we were all living at the whim of a lunatic toddler?

Like any natural disaster, today's events take a psychological toll on everyone, no matter what one believes. But the great thing about humanity is this: We get back up. We fix what's broken. We move on, no matter how painful it may be to do so. Some folks turn to their faith, which is perfectly fine. Some folks volunteer, which is even better because it actually accomplishes something. 

Here's some rather scary footage from today's event (via):

First and foremost, these folks need food, water, clothing and medicine.  Donate to your local Red Cross or start your own drive. Uncle P was inconvenienced for a few days last October by Sandy. I don't even want to think about what these poor people are going through. Want to make a difference? Don't waste your time praying. Send a blanket, some canned food or a couple of bucks. It'll do so much more good.

More, anon.

Prospero

Don't Cry For Him

Pope Depravatio XXV

Today, a bunch of old guys obsessed with sex (because it's forbidden to them) voted for the new leader of their "No Gurlz Alloud" club. The RCC has certainly had a rollercoaster ride in the past few years, hasn't it? Sex scandals are just the tip of the iceberg, kids. And I know that folks are sort of excited that Francis I is the first Pope from South America, but I have have to wonder how the conclave missed the potential for Evita jokes. Seriously - that many Cardinals in the same room all missed the musical theatre reference? I hardly think so.

Jorge Bergoglio isn't exactly a charismatic man, despite his resemblance to "Arrested Development" star Jeffrey Tambor. And yes, he's the first South American Pontiff. At least he doesn't look like Evil Incarnate. Still... 

I just want to play 'Devil's Advocate' (you should excuse the expression - or not - don't care)  here... We know that Ratzeneater was in the Hitler Youth Corps and (allegedly) helped hide pedophile priests from prosecution as a Cardinal. We know that plenty of Nazis fled to South America after WWII; the majority of them taken in by Brazil and Argentina. I'll let the tinfoil hat/truther/ex-gay/abductees among you to draw your own conclusions to that particular setup.

Here's the thing: Nothing is really going to change for the Church (or its progressive members), other than a new PR campaign. Personally, I think it's too little, too late. Americans are abandoning the RCC in record numbers; both disgusted by the sex scandals and disappointed in the Church's refusal to recognize homosexuality as innate. Francis has previously expressed his opinion on gay adoption and marriage, despite the Argentine government's ruling which legalized same sex marriage. They've already begun the spin about Bergoglio's humble roots and his connection to and support of the poor and downtrodden. 

Unless the poor and downtrodden are gay, of course. Oops! How on earth did that slip out?

There are very, very few instances in which Rowan Atkinson (pictured above) has been able to make me laugh. I have honestly just never found him funny in more than one or two instances. That having been said, I can't imagine being sent into fits of hysteria more than by the thought of Atkinson as Pope. Yes, even more than the thought of a falling mascot.

Hocus-Pocus; Alakazaam! If Jorge can't do it; no one can!

Of course, this is the outcome Uncle P was really hoping for:

More, anon.
Prospero

Where's Chris Hansen When We Need Him?

To Catch a Predator?

I don't mean to make light of pedophilia and illegal sexual activity with that picture on your left, but since 'Herbert the Pervert' never really seems to get what he wants on "Family Guy," I suppose his non-stop ogling of youngsters can be seen as comedic. Tasteless? Politically incorrect? Offensive? Of course it is. But then no one is watching "Family Guy" for its 'Family values.' And honestly, if you can't find the humor in Seth McFarlane's outrageously offensive show, then go watch "America's Funniest Videos" and shut up.

Of course, the same can't be said for the hundreds of Catholic priests who actually acted upon their urges and assaulted who knows how many young boys and girls under the guise of being someone they were supposed to trust. So it comes as no surprise that following the announcement of his abdication, Pope Benedict will be afforded immunity from prosecution in his involvement in covering up the many sex crimes committed by priests under his watch as both a Cardinal and Pope, by being granted permanent residency in the sovereign state of The Vatican.

On the heels of this latest announcement, comes word that a convicted sex-offender has just been appointed to a prominent position in the Newark, NJ archdiocese. Rev. Michael Fugee has been appointed co-director of Continuing Education and Ongoing Formation of Priests for the diocese. Every resident of New Jersey should be pounding on the diocese' door, demanding this creeps head on a pike (or at least his genitals on barbecue skewer). This is the kind of man who scares normally rational people into thinking that all LGBT people are evil.

For centuries, the Catholic Church has wielded far too much power over its adherents, resulting in more torture, murder and war than any other entity in history. Starting in 1095, the Church waged a "Crusade" against Muslims and Jews which went on for 200 years. Richard the Lionheart is still revered as an English King who led his troops into battle against the 'Infidels' (and served as part of the inspiration for the Robin Hood mythos). In reality, The Crusades were violently brutal, resulting in the deaths of millions. 200 or so years later saw the Spanish Inquisition, during which (under the rule of Grand Inquisitor Tomas de Torquemada, confessor to Queen Isabella), thousands of Jews and Muslims were tortured and murdered. And let's not forget the silent assent from Pope Pius XII, who never uttered a word about Hitler's 'Final Solution.'

And now sexual abuse among Catholic priests appears to have been rampant for the past 40, 50 or even 60 years (and probably much, much more). So what does the church do? Nothing. They promote pedophiles and hide and protect those who were complicit in hiding and promoting pedophiles. As a Cardinal, Joseph Ratzinberger helped hide these men and now that he is resigning as Pope, he will be protected from prosecution under Vatican law. "Disgusting" doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about this injustice.

And as much as I would like to see the HRC (NOT the Human Rights Campaign) go down in flames (indeed - as much as I'd like to see ALL superstition take the same track), there are billions of frightened, unenlightened and superstitious folks who still cling to unscientific ideals in the hope they will 'live' forever. The same principles can be applied to radical, religious fanaticists of any faith. "Rationalism" and "Science" seem to be words missing from from all of their vocabularies.

Of course, if the HRC has to have a Pope, I'd vote for Pope Betty:

She may not be perfect, but at least she's honest!

More, anon.
Prospero

Nope! He's a-No Longer de Pope!**

Insert The Omen Theme Here

My Day Job Co-Worker: "The Pope's stepping down!"

Uncle P: "He never should have stepped up."

Other Co-Worker: "You got that right! He should never have been Pope in the first place." 

The single most unpopular Pope in modern history*, Pope Benedict today announced that he is resigning due to his age and health. He is the first Pope to resign in over 400 years. Of course, Benedict had a hard act to follow. John Paul II was the most beloved Pope in modern history; a charismatic man who survived an assassination attempt and exuded kindness. Benedict, an honestly creepy old man with Draconian values turned out to be not only horrendously homophobic but complicit in covering up sexual abuse while a bishop in Germany. Corruption, depravity and hypocrisy are nothing new in the Catholic Church. Perverts, pederasts and murderers have all been Pope, many times over. Of course today, shaman and fakirs hold much less power over rationalism and people aren't afraid to tell the truth, especially when those they were supposed to be able to trust, violated them so personally and so horribly.

Such an historic announcement certainly seems to me to have deeper and exceptional significance in the secret annals of the Vatican vaults. I truly believe that there is a secret being buried that is so explosive, the Church would never recover should it get out. 

Now you know me. I'm hardly a conspiracy nut. But if any organization has reason to conspire a cover-up. it's the Holy Roman Catholic Church. No, I'm not suggesting that that ridiculous DaVinci novel is true. Or that Beyonce's flashing of an Illuminati sign at the Superbowl was the signal to take German Joe down. Of course, Pat Robertson would have you believe 'Nemo' (I still think that's a stupid name for a storm, Jules Verne be damned) is punishment for the states which approved Marriage Equality in November. Hey, Pat. 'Nemo' is nature's punishment for us abusing the environment, ya douche.

Many LGBT groups are happy to see Benedict go. 'Other Co-Worker' predicted we will see a Pope of color next, citing several Brazilian Cardinals on the "short list." Okay. Still, no one should get too excited about real progress in the Church any time soon. The Cardinals are still all a bunch of old men, obsessed with sex because they aren't supposed to have it. What's that saying about the deliciousness of forbidden fruit? Absurd doesn't even begin to cover it.

Secular society will move forward first, and the Church will eventually follow in another generation or two (they'll have to, if they want to remain relevant to the few remaining followers they'll have by then). People are still afraid to let go of superstition, though the tide is turning toward rationalism and reason. It amazed me to see how freeing it was to do so. Life is too short and too precious to worry about what happens later. What matters is now. 

I can't stress this enough: If you are living a lie because some religious leader told you that you were evil; if you are afraid of what people will think of you; if you think your family will abandon you... the worst thing that's going to happen to you is going to happen to every single one of us, no matter what we do. Why not enjoy the very brief gift we've been given to its fullest? Don't hide your light under a bushel (you should pardon the reference, no matter how relevant). Come out and love the life you deserve with someone who deserves your love.

And the next time you complain when you can't get cell-phone reception, think about the kid in some refugee camp who can't get enough food to keep the cramps away. 

Don't live your life the way someone else tells you should. Live it in the way you know you should. Live the way that brings joy to you, those that you love and those who love you back. They are the only ones who matter. Trust me.

So, maybe this video is the big secret. Or the one below:

Oh, how love crazy people. I have no doubt the Pope is evil. Just not in the way these nutjobs have concluded. Benedict is evil in the way that all people who perpetrate mythology as truth; homophobia as righteous and hate as love, are evil.

You have no power here. Begone, before someone drops a house on you!

More, anon.
Prospero

*You gotta be pretty bad to be less popular than a Nazi sympathizer.

**Once a Musical Theatre Geek, always a Musical Theatre Geek

How Many Times Do I Have to Say "Goodbye?"

So the Apocalypse is upon once again. Did we learn nothing from the last time some lunatic announced the End of Days? Apparently, not.

Social media users are already complaining about how annoying 12/21/12 is going to be, so I thought I'd get it out of the way and move on to real things, again. 

I suppose I might buy that if the Mayan calender could actually be applied to the modern Gregorian calender, then December 21st, 2012 could plausibly be where the Mayan calendar ends.  All well and good. But... it is has been verified that out of the world's many religions and cultures, the Maya are among the few people who don't have any sort of Apocalyptic mythology. And good ole NASA has happily provided reassurances to that effect:

I can hear all you Doomsayers: "Of course that's what NASA wants you to believe. They're in on it, man!" And there are plenty of delusional people who think that the Zombie Apocalypse is real, too. Uncle P may love me some Zombies, but I (like every rational human being) know the likelihood of such a think happening is far, far less than zero.

Of course, Hollywood has exploited The End ad nauseum:












I can't wait to wake up next Saturday and laugh...

Oh, I so love "Raising Hope" and it's perfect casting! Personally, I have too many things I'm looking forward to doing and experiencing to worry about some stupid and unmerited hoax revolving around a society that worshiped the sun and winged serpents while practicing ritual sacrifice. It all makes perfect sense, if you think about it. "Screw you, Catholic Spaniards! Our gods will protect... uh-oh! Well, screw you anyway. You only have another 600 years! Ha-ha!"

Still - at least one sure sign of the Apocalypse has reared its ugly head:

Sorry. I stopped after 58 seconds and wouldn't blame anyone who stopped sooner. Maybe the world should end, after all. At least we wouldn't have to worry about going to work that Monday. Of course, I already have that whole week off, so it doesn't make any difference to me.

More (most assuredly), anon.
Prospero

A War of Wit with an Unarmed Opponent.

The following is a true story. The names have been changed to protect our privacy.

(Insert "Law and Order" doink-doink sound here)

I thought I'd said all I had to say about this topic, but then today... 

I have a Facebook friend - a lovely retired lady (let's call her "Claire") - who happens to be a Christian. Claire is sweet and good-natured and I have never heard her utter an unkind word to anyone. All well and good. When she posts religious things, I don't respond. I post plenty of Humanist things. Claire never responds to those. I always respond when she posts travel pictures and such. But today...

Today, Claire shared a link to a Chick Fil-A online coupon with all of her Facebook friends. I hope she shared it in the best of intentions. I can't imagine otherwise. There is truly not a mean bone in her body. I can't say the same for one of Claire's Christian friends. Uncle P responded to Claire's link and Claire's friend (let's call her "Lamia") responded to me, and so on. Here's how it went:

Uncle P: I don't support companies that support hate groups.

Lamia: They don't support hate groups ... They support Gods irrefutable Word in scripture. Get informed.

Uncle P: Lamia, I'd suggest you get informed yourself. They give money to groups which have been officially identified by the Southern Poverty Law Center as Hate Groups.

Lamia: Let's talk about "informed" God is about love, BUT there are rules...hate groups do not like rules. You want to live your life doing what ever you want and go to hell, than go for it. If you want to live life in eternity, there are rules. So, rules=heaven......do whatever you want=the fiery lake.........your choice

Her response has nothing to do with what I said, but then this appears:

Claire: From a Friend: [REDACTED] wrote: "Good suggestion. I went to SPLC's website and searched for Ckick-fil-a. Except for one incident where a man attacked someone while carrying a bag from CFA, there was no mention of CFA."

To which I responded:

Uncle P: I never said that the SPLC mentioned Chick Fil-A. Chick Fil-A is not a hate group. They do, however, donate to several groups on the SPLC's list, which can be found by doing a simple search of Chick Fil-A's beneficiaries. Lamia, I feel sorry that you aren't able to think for yourself and are unable make informed decisions based on true morality, rather than dogma. I am finished commenting on this thread. Claire - I'm sorry to have caused such a fuss.

Trying to have a honest, open and cogent conversation (even on line) with a Wingnut Christian is harder than convincing a top to bottom for the first time (I am getting so saucy, these days!). I've come to realize that such people are very, very afraid to die. Hell, we all are. We just don't admit it to ourselves every day. We'd go mad, if we did. See yesterday's post for my view on that. It seems to me that extremely religious people must fear death so much, that they have to believe in stories that promise them an eternal afterlife. They can't appreciate their life for its own sake. They don't appreciate the majesty in the odds of their very existence. They don't see the beauty of the Fibonacci Sequence in everything that exists. The thought that they may only exist once terrifies them. Instead, they should learn to take joy in the fact that they exist in the first place. It makes me sad to think that people still want to live some parts of their lives based on bronze-age mythology. 

My sense of morality comes out of knowing how rare and fragile our lives are, and doing everything I can to make the lives of not only the people I know and love, but all people everywhere, at least as good as mine. That's what should matter. I can't imagine anything more immoral than a person or corporation who gives money to any organization which actively works to hurt people. How is that 'Christian' in any sense of the word (at least as I was raised to understand it)? I wanted to tell Lamia that she should sell her daughter into slavery and she'd better hope she never let a shrimp pass through her lips, but thought better of it. She wouldn't understand it, I'm sure. And I wasn't about to attack her punctuation and grammar, as bad as they are. I figured I'd let the Grammar Nazi's do it here. Have it it all you GNs!

And Lamia - since you apparently still believe in magic, here's something that will undoubtedly have you accusing the guy of being a witch:

Just so you know, Yann Frisch is Uncle P's newest obsession, even though everything I've found on YouTube seems to be variations on the same routine. It's still pretty impressive.

More, anon.

Prospero 

Bullies, Haters and Fearmongers

So, 11 years after religious fanatics* decided to use commercial airliners to murder over 3,000 innocent people, have things really changed? Flying presents more of a hassle than it did before 9/11... But real change? 

Our troops are still being killed in Afghanistan in what has become the longest war in our nation's history. Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden are both dead, though Bashar al-Assad continues the wanton slaughter of his own people.  The so-called "Arab Spring" may have ousted a dictator in Egypt, only to have him replaced with a militaristic regime that is proving to be just as bad. The Taliban and al Qaeda continue to use religious fanaticism to indoctrinate their followers and incite them to violence.

And it's not just in the Middle East. Right here in the U.S., religious fanatics and extremists are using and abusing the Bible in their own bigoted campaign against the LGBT community. Today (via), I came across one of the most vile pieces of homophobic propaganda I have ever seen. Published by 'Mission America,' "What's all this fuss about something called 'gay?'" is one of the most bigoted and misleading documents I have ever seen. I won't quote from from it, because it literally makes me sick to my stomach, but you can read it here (don't say you weren't warned). 

Bullies and monsters aren't always dictators and oligarchs. They are quite often the folks people in need turn to for solace and advice. But when the advice turns out to be hateful bile and outright lies, is it any wonder people are confused? And how horrible must it be for a young gay person of faith to read this kind of crap? This kind of garbage is exactly why the suicide rate among young LGBTQ people is so high. 

One of my early boyfriends was an adorable Texan from a strict Baptist family. In fact, his brother was a preacher. After several months together, he suddenly grew fearful and broke up with me, citing his religious convictions. I later learned that he had hanged himself just two months later. I was not only angry, but profoundly sad that "God" had driven a bright, funny and endearing person to such depths of despair. It was also my first step toward Secular Humanism, though it would be a long time before I realized it.

I've said it before and I'll say again: Religion has been the cause of more war, pain, suffering and death than anything else in the history of mankind. "Believe what we tell you to, or suffer the consequences." 

Every child is born an atheist. That is until they are poisoned by the beliefs imposed upon them by their family. I'll leave it to a much better spoken person than I to explain what I mean. Here's Richard Dawkins' response to the question "What if you're wrong?":

I don't want to demean anyone for believing whatever it is they believe. I do want people to think about why they believe it and how they came to believe it and whether or not what they believe is morally correct (and yes, there is a HUGE difference between morality and religion). 

Bullies, haters and fearmongers will always want to rule over the ignorant and the superstitious. I hope that one day, none of those people will exist. Sadly, I fear that day is still a very long way away.

*You can use the word "terrorists" all you want, but their terrorism was the result of the exploitation of their religious fanaticism, pure and simple.

More, anon.
Prospero

Blue Moonies

Sun Myung Moon

When I was a teenager in the 70's, 'religious cults' were all the rage in the news. Of course, the Manson murders and the Jonestown mass suicides had a lot to do with that. There were tons of stories about parents hiring 'deprogrammers' to rescue their children from religious cults. 

Among the most infamous and most visible of these cults were the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (known as the 'Hare Krishnas')* and The Holy Spirit Association  for the Unification of World Christianity, or more simply the Unification Church, led by the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. Moon claimed that Jesus came to him at the age of 15 and implored him to spread a message that combined Christianity, Judaism, Islam and traditional Korean beliefs. The 'Moonies' are probably best known for the mass-marriages performed by Moon himself -- most notably at Madison Square Garden in 1982. 

Moon died today at the age of 92, his 'church' having become a rather lucrative business over the years, which includes the ownership of The Washington Times. I am sure that Moonies all over the world are wailing and gnashing their teeth. Moon's children have long ago taken over running the church, so I doubt his death will stop the flow of millions of dollars, yen and baht to their pockets.

Here's the thing: To me, all religions are cults. They indoctrinate their followers with promises of eternal life and threats of eternal damnation. 'God' says to them "I love you but if you don't obey me, I'll send you to hell." Really? Did your parents ever tell you that if you didn't listen to them you would suffer eternal damnation?  I'm so sorry if they did.

Religion grew out of fear of the unknown. Early men (and women) ascribed all kinds of powers to invisible beings who controlled things they didn't understand, like lightning and earthquakes. The smarter and more ambitious of them used this ignorance to their advantage in order to control and dominate the weaker and less intelligent members of their tribes. As language evolved and writing came into regular use, the priests and shamans carved their gods' rules into tablets and inked them onto scrolls, claiming they were dictated directly by whatever deity they followed. Sadly, men remain rather superstitious creatures and still follow ancient texts written by ignorant men who only wanted to control others through fear. 

Sun Myung Moon and his ilk are no different from Joseph Smith, the Pope, Pat Robertson and Billy Graham. Deluded by texts written by people who had no knowledge of science, these men still believe that Bronze-Age barbarians had conversations with a 'higher being' who told them that pork and shellfish are 'abominations' and sex is filthy and should only ever be used for procreation. All of it makes my head hurt.

*In 1967, James Rado, Gerome Ragni and Galt Macdermot used the Hare Krishnas' mantra as part of a number in their anti-establishment musical Hair. It's one of my favorite numbers from that show. Below is Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman's hallucinogenic version of it from his 1979 film version (one of the few movies I saw on a 'date' with girl):

Of course, science has proven that many of the 'visions' described in the Bible were probably the result of ingesting one of the many natural hallucinogens available to ancient 'prophets,' much like those ingested or smoked by the shamans of indigenous Western peoples. Today, xenophobia and homophobia remain the most powerful building blocks for modern religions. Here's hoping that one day, those fears will be absolutely refuted and religion will fall the way of the dinosaurs.

More, anon.
Prospero