A Night for Me

Off to work on some much-neglected screenwriting. No, really. I am. I promise. In the the meantime, here's the best of Lucille Bluth:

I so loved that show!

More, anon.
Prospero

Postponed Plans and Idle Hands

They Say the Devil Finds Work for Idle Hands, Whoever 'They' Are

As I write this, the wind is literally rattling the windows and the rain continues to pound this part of the Northeast, all part of the same system which brought blizzard conditions to the Midwest and tornadoes to the South. I was supposed to spend the evening with K, Q and Dale, exchanging gifts and just hanging out with my dearest friends. It was snowing rather viciously where Q and Dale live, just as I was planning to make the hour drive north to see them. A round of phone calls later and we decided to postpone until tomorrow. I realize this is hardly the end of the world, though it did leave me with an evening free and nothing to do. I tried watching some TV but found myself nodding off to the crap that's on during the last week of the year.I do have a couple of movies saved on the DVR, but I don't want to use them up all at once. And I'm still hoping for a cinema matinee or two before I go back to the Day Job next week.

Anyway... in the days following Sandy (while I was without power and a keyboard), I started a new, hand-written screenplay to keep from going absolutely insane. I wrote 27 pages over three nights by candlelight. That's almost a complete first act. It's not very good, to tell the truth. Still... it does have some potential. Initially inspired by Sandy and reignited by tonight's weather, I started re-writing that first act and am actually quite pleased with what I have so far and I've consequently decided that staying off treacherous back roads tonight was probably the right thing to do. 

If like Uncle P, you have the whole week off, I hope you are having fun and/or being productive (NOT mutually exclusive concepts). If you're stuck at work until the four-day weekend, I'm sorry. I just know that I have three more gift-exchanges (i.e.: three more opportunities to make other people smile) to go before I'm ready to declare an end to this Christmas.

More, anon.
Prospero

Invasion of the Bad Invasion Movies

That's ruggedly handsome Aaron Eckhardt in Battle: Los Angeles, which looks, despite a critical drubbing, to be the top-grosser this weekend.

Seriously, what's the deal with Aaron and his face? Is it in his contract that every fourth role has to include facial disfigurement?

I am saddened that the movie hasn't fared well with critics. I was hoping that after the flop made by last year's similarly themed Skyline that Battle: Los Angeles would be the movie that cleansed our palates, so to speak. 

Of course, Skyline  and Battle: Los Angeles aren't the only recent alien invasion movies to blow it. Most recently, Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig starred in a new version of Invasion of the Body Sntachers, simply titled The Invasion, which stank to high heaven:

And our old buddy M. Night gave us the almost good Signs, a movie with some terrific performances from both Joaquin Phoenix and (as much as it pains me to say it) Mel Gibson. While I have to admire Shyamalan for getting those performances out his actors, his script leaves much to be desired. Aliens can traverse millions of light years, but can't figure out doorknobs? And aliens who are easily killed by water, try to conquer a planet that is 90% water... ? Please...

Let's not forget everyone's favorite Vatican Assassin, Charlie Sheen as an astrophysicist in 1996's The Arrival, in which reversed-kneed aliens are trying to bio-engineer Earth to suit their own climate needs:

If you've seen an of these movies, then you know what I'm talking about.

So Uncle P got to thinking (always a dangerous thing), "What would make for a truly good alien invasion movie?" And I think I might have an idea... But I need your help. After talking about doing so for so long, I'm finally trying a poll. Now bear in mind: I am 2/3 of the way through a new zombie script on which I seem to have stalled (at least temporarily) and I have a bunch of ideas for other scripts on what I call The List. So I guess I'm asking, what should I work on next?

   

I look forward to the results.

More, anon.
Prospero

Dream, dream, dream...

I don't know when my zombie fascination started. Probably with George Romero's 1978 masterpiece, Dawn of the Dead. The nightmares didn't start until much later, though.

The first one I remember distinctly was incorporated into my screenplay Army of the Dead, though I had the dream at least 10 years before I even started writing screenplays. Of course, the screenplay I am working on now was almost entirely inspired by a zombie nightmare. 

And last night, after watching the season finale of "The Walking Dead," I had a doozy, in which Uncle P's own mother was a cheek-less zombie, though she wasn't fully aware that she was a zombie. She kept asking, "I'm supposed to eat people? No, that can't be right." The dream eventually got silly, involving a castle about to be flooded to destruction, Dear D and a Katy Perry zombie that just couldn't be put down, even after her head had been bashed to bits with a chrome tire-iron...

Of course, much of that can be directly related to "TS-19," but most of it was just completely off the wall, as most of my dreams (nightmares or not) are. Occasionally, a dream or nightmare is so vivid it ends up being a full screenplay, as with Comatose Joe and my current project, though usually only certain elements make their way into my writing, as in Chimera and The Cow Says: Moo! More often than not, my dreams are so bizarre, they defy interpretation. Case in point - I recently dreamt that I was part of a theatrical production which was reproduced by another race of beings in a dimension which vibrated on a different frequency than ours. And that's all I can tell you about it without you thinking I'm completely insane (which no doubt, many of you already think, anyway). 

I keep a dream journal on my nightstand, and write down the significant details of dreams I think my have potential commercial value, but save the weirdest ones to share with friends and family (none of whom are surprised those dreams' weirdness). I suggest that you do as well. You have no idea when your subconscious might come up with a brilliant idea or two...

Pleasant dreams...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Uncle P is usually disdainful when it comes to so-called "reality TV," but my one guilty pleasure is NBC's "America's Got Talent." Anyone, of any age and with any talent can audition. Over the past 5 seasons it's been on, we've seen some pretty outrageous performances from some really outrageous performers.

Of course, none of them have been as nearly outrageous as the enormously talented Prince Poppycock (nee John Quale), who performs in over-the-top costumes and makeup. As regular readers know, Poppycock has been my favorite from his very first audition, when he performed an excerpt of "Largo al factotum" from The Barber of Seville. The openly gay performer is part opera singer, part actor and part performance artist. This week, he once again wowed the audience and the judges with his over-the-top performance:

Honestly, who else can go from Rossini to Verdi to Mercury to Cohan to Sousa, so outrageously and so entertainingly? Because I'm in rehearsal for Top Girls, I don't get to see AGT in real time and must rely on my DVR to watch it. But each time he performs, Poppycock reminds me of why I got into show business in the first place - to entertain. If he doesn't win, I'll be sorely disappointed. But I'll be glad to know that he certainly has a huge a career ahead of him. I can't wait to see the results from this week's voting - and if you already know, please don't spoil it for me. And if he does make it into the Top 4 (of which I have no doubt), take a few minutes and vote for him next week. Almost nothing would make me happier than to see him win. Seriously, wouldn't it be great to have an openly gay AGT winner?

From reality to fiction:

I recently discovered the upcoming TLA movie, Is It Just Me? A sort of gay version of Cyrano, the movie is about an average-looking guy who meets the man of his dreams online, using his hunky roommate's photo on his profile. Starring Nicholas Downs, cutie-pie David Loren and hunky Adam Huss, Is It Just Me? explores the differences between the guys who are looking to just hook up and those of us who are looking for "True Love,' whatever that means:

Maybe my idea for a gay adaptation of Aida isn't so crazy, after all. Hell, I might even convince Poppycock to play the title role...

Oh, crap! Okay, all you potential gay screenwriting rivals out there -- gay Aida was my idea first. No stealing, jerks! Love you! Mwah!

More, anon.

Prospero

Sharktopus? Really?

The image to your right is NOT from the upcoming SyFy movie Sharktopus. It is, however, the most pertinant image I could find to represent one of the most ridiculously conceived movies of all time. Not that I'm bitter, mind you.

Well - that's not exactly true. I am just a little bit bitter. Why? Because my own screenplay, Army of the Dead was in the running for Sharktopus' spot on SyFy's schedule. If you haven't read it (and you can do so, here), my anti-war, political satire, zombie rom-com was one of three scripts pitched by Roger Corman's New Horizons Pictures for production by the basic cable network. Army... has been on Scriptbuddy's Top 5 list for more than a year and was a Top 1000 contender for Project Greenlight's final season.

Yes, I am tooting my own horn here, but I have to ask... Would you rather see an intelligent and politically relevant horror movie, or what is assuredly a ridiculous monster movie about a genetically impossible creature? The very enthusiastic rep from New Horizons assured me when he called, that AOD was "really good" and that he was going to push hardest for it in his pitch to SyFy. So what happened? I can only imagine the Suits at SyFy thought it was probably too smart and original, and went with the script that most embodied their usual crappy "Original" movies.

Have you ever seen a SyFy "Original?" They are, without exception, terrible. So maybe this is a blessing in disguise. And I don't mean to knock or demean the writer(s) of Sharktopus. I am sure he, she or they put as much work into that script as I did with mine. I just can't help but feel that Sharktopus is a sillier concept.

Call me "bitter." Call me a "sore loser." Call me a "narcissistic a-hole." Call me anything but "unoriginal. " And maybe I actually am a bad screenwriter. Maybe I think too highly of my own work. Still... of the hundreds of scripts listed on Scriptbuddy, one of mine is still rated by the site's users in the Top 5. Can the same be said of Sharktopus? I think not.

Oh, well. One company called and expressed an interest in producing it. Another one will. Things move slowly in Hollywood. My time will come.

And just so you know, here's a clip from one of SyFy's Originals:



Maybe I should be glad they didn't produce my piece, after all...


More narcissism, anon.
Prospero

Rate My Screenplay

And give me a hand... My anti-war, zom-com screenplay Army of the Dead has recently moved into the Top 5 Highest ranked scripts on ScriptBuddy. Good, but obviously I want more (don't we all?).

If you create a FREE account with them, you can rate the script and help move it up to #1 (highest-rated scripts get the most reads from industry users).

ScriptBuddy is a on-line screenwriting software service which allows users to rate each others' works and lets industry professionals know about new screenplays. They don't send emails, they don't sell their subscriber list and they will never share your info with anyone (unless you post a screenplay, of course). I've been using the service for three years now and love it.

Even if you don't want to read it, you can still rate it (but you just might get a laugh or two out of it).

I thank you in advance for your time and kindness.

More, anon.
Prospero

(a regular goofy post to follow, later... )

Mutants and Gay Zombies

io9 just keeps crankin' out the best in horror and sci-fi news.

First, here's the trailer for a French horror/sci-fi movie from director David Morlet, simply titled Mutants:

Mutants



Pretty scary, eh? And next, a film that may raise LGBT Horror to a whole new level: Zombies of Mass Destruction:



You gotta love the line "Don't shoot! I'm gay!"

I just have to ask myself, with the increasing popularity of zombie flicks, why is no one biting at my four-star rated* screenplay, Army of the Dead? It just seems so unfair!

*Visit scriptbuddy.com to read it (a little shameless self-promotion never hurt anyone, did it?).

More, anon.
Prospero

On Screenwriting

As some of you know, I write screenplays. I also write stage plays and musicals, but there is something about the screenplay. It makes story telling relatively brief - novels can take hundreds of pages, but a screenplay is best at a neat 100. The prescribed rule is three acts: beginning, middle and end; introduction, substance, denouement. And unlike a stage play, where one is limited to what is physically possible on stage, anything can happen in a screenplay. Modern film technology makes literally anything possible.

Unlike many other younger screenwriters, I didn't take classes on screenwriting - I learned as I went along. My first was ridiculously long (almost 200 pages), though my second came in at just 110 pages. Regardless, I have sold one screenplay (to a Canadian production company which went belly-up soon after - the rights reverted back to me) and recently had a nibble on another, while a third actually made the Top 1000 in the final Project Greenlight contest. The interesting part, to me, is visualizing the movie in my head as I write it. Will the (hopefully) eventual director envision the same thing? Well, that's kind of the idea, if I've done it right.

I tend to write Horror movies because I love them, grew up on them and know the genre better than most others, though I have written an Action picture with Sci-Fi themes and a rather bizarre Buddy Comedy about a playwright who is car-jacked by a magician's assistant on the run. Many of my ideas come from dreams I've had - it's very scary in here, folks - though some come from real-life. I keep a dream diary by my nightstand and try to write down all the best ones. Sometimes, what I've written in the middle of the night makes absolutely no sense in the morning. Sometimes, I bounce ideas off my sister (most recently I had a dream about zombie werewolves - don't ask - and she had some great input for me) or friends, many of whom think I eat too late or watch too many movies (as if such a thing were possible). Mostly, I write for myself, though I do hope to one day see at least one of my scripts produced.

My very first screenplay was about a film crew making a horror movie about the Jersey Devil who discover their subject matter is very real, after all. It was too long and over-plotted and even my most recent re-write is quite obviously an early effort. But I was encouraged by several people in the business to keep trying. And so I do.

And here (via) is why:

Do I want to win an Oscar? Sure, who doesn't? Will I? Probably not, but that's not the point. I just want to tell stories and maybe entertain some folks (and myself) along the way. Oh, and there's that whole "writing is immortal" thing. I mean, it isn't likely, given my age and sexual orientation, that I will have children to carry on my legacy. So, look out Lance and Diablo. I'm gunning for your spot in 2010. Or 2011 or 2012.

More, anon.

Prospero

Some Writing of My own

Other than blogging here, and sending emails to my cast, Stage Manager, Producer and Tech Director, I haven't done much real writing in a while. I have a musical that's about 3/4 finished, that I haven't even looked at in months. That gets first priority, now that the show has opened. And I think that as the cold winter nights approach, I'll be working up another screenplay. I've got a huge list of ideas, but something's been crawling around in the back of my head lately (and trust me, that can be a very scary place and just about anything crawling around back there).

At first I just caught steely glints of it as it would turn a corner. Then I caught sight of what might have been a tail, for lack of a better word (or maybe it was grotesque tentacle - not that tentacles aren't grotesque enough as it is). Last week I thought I saw its eyes, but I could have just imagined it. Most recently, I heard its mournful and plaintiff cry, and it's getting louder. I still have no idea what it is, but I know it wants: it wants to get out and feed. It's so very hungry.

Well, was that weird enough for you? I know at least a dozen other writers who would describe the process in almost exactly the same way. If you are interested in reading some of my previous screenplays, they are available at www.scriptbuddy.com The titles are: Army of the Dead; Comatose Joe; Eye Witness; The Forsaken and The Cow Says: Moo!

Alright - enough blathering. Off to serious writing...

More anon.

Prospero