Bite Me, Mother Nature (or: The Saddest Gay Post This Week)

Better call me a waaahhm-bulance.

As I sit in my home office writing this post, the 'historic' storm Nemo (really, Weather Channel?) is raging outside. Well, it's snowing. And has been for several hours, amassing less than 2" so far. Not enough to be crippling like in 1996, but just enough to make travel unwise and spoil a very special evening I was supposed to have with T. This after a truly  horrendous day at the Day Job. The storm is having a major impact on us, while causing unnecessary panic for our clients who don't read or bother to look at the updates on our website (or look in completely inappropriate places when they attempt to -- it's on the home page in bright orange! How can you not see that?). This was the worst possible weekend in all of winter for this storm to hit. I ended up having to stay late, on top of (and this is really just adding insult to injury) cancelling my very much-anticipated date with T because of the impending driving conditions (45 minutes of highway driving in sleet and snow isn't really all that wise). To be honest, it was quite possibly the worst Friday I've ever had (or at least certainly in the Top 5). 

So I came home and tried to cheer myself up a bit. I watched some comedies I'd DVR'd and then poured myself a drink and visited good old Towleroad, where there were two exceptionally gay clips that almost did the trick. You'll see why I say "almost."

First up, openly gay Bravo president and talk-show/reality-show host Andy Cohen recently had Jenny McCarthy and Calvin Klein Superbowl model Matthew Terry play a ridiculously exploitative game called "Paper or Plas-Take It Off:"

Terry may be young and very pretty,  but McCarthy might as well be an SNL cougar. Fail.

So, I went for some nonsense and the video for RuPaul's latest single, Peanut Butter. Watch first and then we'll discuss (may be NSFW):

First, let me get this right out of the way: Who the f**k is Big Freedia? Bitch scares me. Second: Ru, bubbulah, what the hell? Stick with dance tracks, girl. This bizarre rap/dubstep mashup weirdness just doesn't work. For anyone. 

Of course, RuPaul is outrageous. We get it. And we know you have to keep up with the times if you want to stay in the spotlight, but aren't the dancing twinks in banana hammocks in a video for a 'song' that's basically one big penis joke just overkill?* We deserve better from the Queen of Drag.

I really shouldn't complain. I know it could be so much worse. New York and New England are going to get slammed for the second -- and even third -- time in less than a year. Still, sometimes it seems I just can't get a friggin break for myself, ya know?

So I am left to console myself with smoke and drink, taking some pleasure in the idea of anticipation. After all, half the fun of any great roller-coaster is the anticipation as the train climbs that first hill, waiting to take that first breath-taking, soaring, weightless plunge*... I need a cigarette, now. Just don't remind me that an exceptionally horrendous Monday is just a brief two days away.

*Every single pun ever, intended.

I'll make this up to you, T. Promise.

More, anon.
Prospero

Last Days of Coney Island

As a kid, Uncle P's Mother spent part of her summer vacations with her grandmother at Coney Island. I heard stories about the Steeplechase; the Shoot the Chutes (a precursor to today's "Log Flume" rides) and of course, the Cyclone rollercoaster. Of course, the only thing that really remains today is the Cyclone (the Wonder Wheel came much later).

As someone who has a mild obsession with coasters and theme parks, I imagined a romanticized version of Coney Island that I would never get to see. Of course, the Internet came along and I discovered hundreds of images, stories and details about Coney Island in its heyday in the early 20th Century. I even started to write (and may yet finish) a musical called Luna Park, about Coney's most fabled amusement park which burned down on August 12, 1944. Coney Island (like much of Brooklyn) has experienced a renaissance of sorts and a new Luna Park has opened in recent years (long-time readers will remember my birthday trip there, a few years ago).

So I was fascinated to learn that animator Ralph Bakshi (best known for the X-rated Fritz the Cat; the first film version of The Lord of the Rings and the live-action/animated combo movie Cool World with Brad Pitt) has created a Kickstarter page to finance Last Days of Coney Island. Set in the early 1960's Last Days... is a series of animated shorts about the decline of the once-glamorous vacation spot and the people who inhabited it.

Personally, Bakshi's films have always been hit-or-miss. One of the last 2D animators working in the feature film industry, Bakshi always has some interesting ideas, even of his films don't always hit the mark. So I was delighted when the Happy Mutants at BoingBoing posted Bakshi's Kickstarter video plea for funding of Last Days of Coney Island.

I do hope Bakshi gets funding to make this film. 2D animation is going away, and it makes me sad. Even Disney incorporates CG animation in their 2D films these days. A cool, successful, experimental 2D animated movie may just be what some young animator needs to inspire new works in this dying art form.

Uncle P is also hoping to have his own Kickstarter page by the end of the year; first to raise money for a trailer for Army of the Dead and eventually full funding to shoot the feature. I recently enlisted the help of a fellow actor, friend and graphic artist to create some storyboards for the page. You know I'll be keeping you posted.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Freudian Field Day

As promised...

Before I start telling you about this dream, I feel I have to let you in on some of the particulars of my waking life. First, I live in Bucks County, PA; also home to a certain bad filmmaker who shall remain nameless for now. Second, I have a deep love of theme parks, amusement parks, carnivals and church fairs. Third, I also have a fascination for abandoned places, particularly abandoned theme parks. And fourth, I have already talked about my proficiency for theatrical makeup. That's all you need to know to get where this particular dream may be coming from.

So... I dreamt that I had been asked to look at some makeups for an upcoming movie. Some friends (people I'd never seen before, but in the way of dreams, I knew) and I were ushered into a room filled with actors who were sporting half-completed clown makeups. Once we had chosen our favorites, we were then invited to watch the filming of a scene from a new movie about a haunted theme-park (a screenplay idea that's been percolating in my head for some tie, now).

As my 'friends' and I arrive on set, we quickly realize who the director is and I quip that said director "...couldn't make a good movie if Hitchcock was whispering in his ear throughout the shoot." Of course, by the third time I've uttered this phrase, said director is standing in front of me, glaring angrily at me. He looks away and calls "Action."

Amusement rides start up; neon lights flash and people scream in delight. But something is wrong. Screams of delight turn to screams of fear as gondolas begin to fly off of Ferris Wheels; rollercoasters careen out of control and actors are actually killed. I turn to the director and start to scream at him to cut, but he merely laughs and says "Aren't you scared?" It was then that I woke up; angry, scared and just a little out-of-breath.

So, what does it all mean? I'm not sure. In full disclosure, I've been dreaming about insanely dangerous rollercoasters for much of my life. Usually, I am in line for such a ride, but never actually get on. And in real life, I adore coasters. I once spent a vacation with a friend riding as many coasters along the East Coast as we could find. I awoke from this dream with a feeling of dread, but fascinated all the same.

So, is Uncle P completely insane? Does my inability to ride these potentially deadly dream coasters have some significance? Or is my waking life simply intruding on my subconscious? I remain confused...

Next time, we'll talk about the Murderous Mummy dream from last night...

More, anon.
Prospero

PS - I've actually ridden the coaster featured in the above clip, Universal Studios' "Incredible Hulk Coaster." It's awesome!