Were You Left Behind?

Well, it's after 11:00 PM Eastern Time and I'm still here. I'm betting you are, too. Loony fundie followers of Reverend Harold Camping have been proclaiming that today was the "guaranteed" day of the Rapture. I'm hoping for Camping's donors' sake that that was a money back guarantee,

Camping has been silent all day. No surprise there. He previously predicted that the world would end in 1994. Of course, he may have been assumed to Heaven along with the 2% of the population he claimed would be taken  today. Since we just had a census here in the US last year, I guess it will be a while before we find out if there has been 2% reduction in the population. But what about that rolling earthquake Camping claimed would start in the East Pacific and make its way westward? No reports of damage have surfaced, so we must assume it was a bust, as well.

I went out at 6:00 PM EST, looking skyward, but saw no bodies floating up (unless you count my stoner neighbor who seems to float skyward around 6:00 PM every night...). No earthquakes. No interruption in electrical services. No zombies. No Rapture. What a ripoff!

Now I want to know what happens to the hundreds of folks who fell for Camping's charlatanism. Many of them quit their jobs and sold their homes. One man in NYC spent $140,000.00 - almost his total life's savings - to take out ads on buses and in NYC subway terminals, proclaiming the End was nigh. Is he embarrassed? Does he feel like a fool? I hope at the least, he'll be able to sue Camping's Family Radio (by some estimates worth $79 Million) to recoup his loss. Sadly, I heard a report about a woman who suffocated her child to spare him from the coming Tribulation... I hope that's not true.

Here's the thing - more people have been tortured and/or killed in the name of "God," than any other reason in history. The Crusades decimated millions of Muslims, Hitler killed 6 million Jews and the fanatic followers of Osama bin Laden murdered over 3000 people over the course of three hours. I have read all of the Bible; much of the Q'uran; most of the Bhagavad Gita and the writings, musings and thoughts of many religious scholars in my personal quest for spiritual enlightenment. While some of them advocate the killing of specific "sinners," not a single one of them advocates genocide. And none of them have been able to satisfactorily answer my questions on the meaning of life. Well, almost none (may be NSFW):

Still, I'm so glad we're all still around to make fun of the fine folks who still believe. And if you are a believer, don't take it personally. Whatever lets you sleep at night.

More, anon.

Prospero

Goodbye?

Well, I suppose this is my (and every other blogger's) last post. After tomorrow, there won't be any electricity to power the Internet and none of us will be able to communicate, except maybe by semaphore and/or smoke signal.

Of course, we'll all be too busy dealing with the Tribulation to really care about the Internet. Or anything else. 

So, do you think there'll be zombies? I hope so. Undoubtedly there will be looting. And lots of raping and murdering and who knows what other kinds of insanity. I know I've loaded in enough vodka and Astroglide to see me through the end of October, just in case. And I have plenty of ammo, axes, machetes and a flame-thrower for the zombies. Not that it will matter when the planet explodes in a fireball like the Death Star on October 21st.

I suppose I could just repent at the last minute and become a Christian, thus assuring my assumption into Heaven. Honestly, I'd rather just go to Heaven, the gay bar in London. That is assuming there will still be planes flying to the U.K.

Oh, and if you should get to Heaven tomorrow night, please tell my grandmother that as much as I love her, the thought of listening to stories about Bingo and how my mother ruined her plans for my father becoming a priest for all eternity is not exactly my idea of Eternal Bliss.

By the way, when nothing special happens tomorrow and Harold Camping and his followers are busy making excuses (or being completely embarrassed by having quit their jobs and given up their homes), please join in me in continuing our lives in exactly the same way as we always have. 

I will admit though, the anti-Christ does walk among us.

More certainly, anon.

Prospero