Review "The Avengers: Age of Ultron"

Holy cow! I'm actually blogging! In fact, I may blog several times this month as there are at least two other movies coming out and another currently playing on my Must See list and I am determined to see at least two. But that's another post.

So today marked several significant things for your Uncle P.  It was the first movie I've seen in a theater since Christmas; it was the first 'Tentpole' movie of the season; it was the next Marvel movie in an increasingly interconnected series unlike anything that's ever been attempted before and (most importantly) it was the first time that J and I went to the movies together. I love that while J doesn't quite share my enthusiasm for movies, he likes that I have that enthusiasm. The last movie he'd seen in a theater was a Harry Potter movie and he had never seen a 3D movie (poor, sheltered thing - LOL - I love you, Honey!) so it was more than just out first movie together for him, too (yes, we're saving our ticket stubs - we're mushy that way!).

Sorry... You want to know what I thought of the movie. Or, at least I hope you do. Any way...

When we last saw The Avengers as a team, they were eating schwarma after defeating Loki and the alien invaders, much to the chagrin of first-glimpsed villain, Thanos. The Avengers now operate as an independent team under the direction of Steve "Captain America" Rogers (Chris Evans) and we join them in the midst of an assault on a HYRDA compound in Eastern Europe to recover Loki's scepter. Once recovered, Tony "Iron Man" Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) asks to study the sceptor for 3 days before Thor (Chris Hemsworth) returns it to Asgaard. When Stark's computer, Jarvis (Paul Bettany) studies the staff, it discovers the gem inside (one of the 'Infinity Stones' which have featured in several of the films) houses an artificial intelligence. Seeing this as an opportunity to create a sentry for humanity, Stark and and Bruce "Hulk" Banner (Mark Ruffalo) attempt to interface Jarvis and the AI to create what is intended to be a world-wide guardian named Ultron* (James Spader). Of course, as in any good Frankenstein story, a monster arises, instead.

Thankfully, Age of Ultron manages to just barely avoid the Marvel plot formulas that were becoming a little too familiar and this time around we get to learn more about the humans inside the Superheros, particularly Clint "Hawkeye" Barton (Jeremy Renner) and a seemingly impossible romance for Banner and Natasha "Black Widow" Romanov (Scarlett Johansson). There is plenty of the usual Marvel action and banter, with lots of tension-relieving jokes and one-liners in between the grand-scale destruction and over-the-top action sequences (a very funny scene about them all trying to lift Mjölnir turns into an important plot point later on). We are also introduced (I won't say how or when) to the character Vision (Bettany) and a pair of 'enhanced' twins (Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver** and Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch). Add appearances from Marvel regulars Idris Elba; Hayley Atwell; Don Cheadle; Cobie Smulders; Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson and you have a very entertaining movie, indeed. But I must give a special nod to Spader's voice performance, which is dead-on. I knew but had forgotten that Spader was cast, and both J and I were going crazy trying to figure out whose voice it was, because his smarmy inflections and turns of phrase were so very familiar. When the credits rolled we both said "D'oh!"

Yes, we both very much enjoyed the movie, though I thought the 3D was completely unnecessary. It honestly did nothing to enhance the movie and at the end of the 141 minute run-time, my eyes were very tired and J had a headache (he said, "I don't ever need to see another 3D movie, Honey"). Truth be told, I liked the first Avengers movie much better. Writer/Director Joss Whedon obviously has a vision for the franchise and I expect the next film in the series (Infinity Wars) will be the Empire Strikes Back of the series.  *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars). 

The Avengers: Age of Ultron is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action, violence and destruction, and for some suggestive comments." 

*In the original comics, Ultron was invented by Hank Pym, the original "Ant-Man." One of the trailers we saw before the movie was for Marvel's next 'Phase Two' movie Ant-Man starring Paul Rudd ("Oh, Paul!") and Michael Douglas as... Hank Pym!

**We previously saw a very different version of Quicksilver as played by Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past, apparently the result of multiple studios owning various rights to the character, though Taylor-Johnson's version remains truer to the comics.

Well, this was fun. I'm pretty sure you'll hear from me again this month!

More, anon.
Prospero

Traditions, Both New and Old

Days Gone By (Not Our Real House)

It is still Christmas Eve in the U.S. as I write this and while Uncle P celebrates Christmas as a secular holiday in which we acknowledge, spend time and share gifts with those we love, for many it remains a deeply religious holiday celebrating the birth of their 'savior.' And since this isn't a post about religion, I'll leave that alone and get to the point.

While venturing out late in the afternoon to get a bottle of wine for tomorrow's dinner, I was struck by how the Holidays (like most of life) has changed over the years. Early Christmas memories evoke the many toys and gifts my mother's mother gave us each year, much to our father's consternation. The schadenfreude she derived from his jealously must have been some powerful juju! After she'd had a particularly good year in tips (she was a barmaid), our house was literally filled with presents and I'm surprised Dad didn't have a apoplectic stroke on the spot! At some point "Grandmom Cookie" (so-called because of her always full cookie jar) started spending Christmas Eve with us and we would open her presents then and Santa's and Mom and Dad's presents on Christmas morning. After she passed, we started opening all of our gifts on Christmas Eve. By then I was in college and working part time and Christmas Eve soon evolved into an open-house event where friends and co-workers came and went all night long, I still wonder how we fit so many people into that tiny house. I moved in and out of the house over the years following, but always managed to spend Christmas Eve there. New traditions for the evening continued to evolve after my parents divorced and other folks came into and/or left our lives. For a solid 10 years, Christmas Eve meant broasted* chicken from Chicken Holiday; Southern Comfort Manhattans; two embarrassing piles of presents; shrimp cocktail  and my rock, K. 

That changed again when Mom passed away last October and I spent Christmas Eve with my sister and BIL in Florida. The night before, K and M came over for chicken and such. And while we had a good time, the food wasn't up to their usual standards (I blame a different staff). So this year, even though I'm staying in PA, I decided to cook. On Sunday I made a lasagna and a Caramel Pumpkin Cream Cheese cake. Monday night I steamed and peeled a pound of shrimp and Tuesday night reheated the lasagna; glazed the cake and made cocktail sauce while frying up some battered green beans. Thank goodness M got here early, as I quickly dispatched him on a candle lighting mission. K arrived soon after and then lots of food and drink were consumed, presents were opened and much laughter was shared. 

While it was the first of several similar holiday experiences to come over the next few weeks, last night's Christmas Eve Eve has become what I hope will continue to be a new holiday tradition. For a while, at least. Until things change again, which is inevitable. Cultural traditions may seem steadfast and unchanging, but they are simply slower and less fluid than personal traditions.

I continue to be in awe of the family who have chosen me to a part of theirs, as much as I have chosen them.  K, Q, Dale, M, D and so many others never let me forget that I am not alone and never will be. And there's my astonishing sister. Strong, smart and always supportive, I can only hope you have a sibling who is half as amazing as she is (and yes, it's Christmas! I'm allowed to get gushy!). If you have even half the love in your life as I am blessed to, you know what I mean.

I have received (and will continue to do so) some very cool gifts (Mia's incredible "Zombie Batman" figurine got some stiff competition from Mary & Phil's Nightmare Before Christmas fleece and my sister's standing plush Mickey Skellington - all three of which are rendered in B&W).

None of that stuff, as cool as it may be, really matters.  Like all of us, these things will be dust in a thousand years. What matters is the love we share here and now. I guess what I'm saying is I am grateful for everyone who cares about me and bothers to read my nonsense. Be kind to one another. Know the difference between what does and doesn't matter. Give money or time to a charity that speaks to you, when and if you can. Smile at strangers. Say "Please" and "Thank You." Hold the door for the person behind you. Open the door for the person coming out ahead of you. Acknowledge those who do the same. Share the belief that most people are as good, but no better than, you. Never assume anyone is evil. Help people. Tell those you love that you love them as often as you can. Enjoy the things you have, but take nothing for granted. Enjoy your life. It's the only one you have!

Merry Christmas, my friends and readers! 

More, anon.

Uncle P.

*Pressure fried with no coating

Zombie Batman from Mia

Mickey Skellington from Barbara 

National Coming Out Day

So today was National Coming Out Day.  I hope lots of folks did and are the happier for it, as am I. And while it's all well and good that we have an official "Coming Out Day," for many of us, coming out isn't or wasn't a one day deal. 

For Uncle P, the process started with a few High School Theatre girl friends, claiming then (and through much of college) that I was Bisexual, knowing full well that wasn't true in the least. Of course, Uncle P came of age at the beginning of the AIDS crisis, adding additional stigma to being a young gay man. And while all through my 20's and early 30's I had my fun, it wasn't until I went into therapy that I was able to not just come out to myself, but to to my immediate family. I was going to tell my mother on "Come Out with Ellen" day, but chose to do so a week before, steeling myself with a drink or three, first. She cried, not because I was gay, but because I had been afraid to tell her. Eventually, I started expressing to her which men I found attractive on the TV shows we both watched and we would have small conversations about why and whether or not we found the same guys attractive. She loved my long ago ex, Ric and encouraged me to find someone right up until she went into the hospital for the last time. 

I told my sister that same year, on the last night of my once-annual October trip to Florida. She was neither shocked nor upset, though embarrassed at having used the "F" word, earlier in the day (something that almost stopped me from telling her). To this day, she continues to not only be my BFF (I love you K & Q, but you know...) and a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, including Marriage Equality. I feel so lucky to have her on my side, especially given the stories we all know about families abandoning their LGBT members. And while there are still a few elderly family members (my Aunt and Mom's Aunt and Uncle, among them) who don't know - and as far as I am concerned, don't need to know - most of my cousins and few aunts and uncles know. And that's fine. They are all mostly liberal and accepting. And if not, the hell with them. I have reached the age where I truly don't give a rat's ass what you think about me.

For me, coming out was a long, drawn-out process which took many years. As I am sure it was and will continue to be for many gay people. But as more and more of us make ourselves visible, it will be easier and easier for those who come after us. Eventually (hopefully), 'coming out' won't be something anyone needs to worry about. Am I too optimistic about a Roddenberryesque Utopia where the whole word gets it? How  I would love a peek into the future a hundred or so years from now. I can only hope the smart folks win.

In celebration of Coming Out, here's the trailer for my favorite gay rom-com and sweet coming out story, Big Eden:

And here's a very affirming music video about Coming Out:



Own yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself!

Sending you love and support! Come out, come out, whoever you are! Know that there are many people who love and support you! I'm here if you need an ear.

More, anon.
Prospero

TV Review: "Z Nation"

SyFy, in an effort to compete with AMC's blockbuster "The Walking Dead," has debuted their own zombie series, "Z Nation." Set 3 years after the Zombie Apocalypse, "Z Nation" concerns the efforts to get the only known bite-survivor to a virology lab in California to use his blood to develop a vaccine. The survivor in question is a non-willing prisoner participant in a trial study which killed everyone else it was tried on. Meanwhile, at a remote polar military installation, a lone soldier who calls himself  'Citizen Z,' tries to coordinate the effort to get that survivor where he needs to be.

Two episodes in and I can assure you that AMC has nothing to worry about from this shoddily-produced effort. Cheesy CGI, ridiculous dialog and some truly terrible acting are the culprits, despite featuring some seasoned veterans like DJ Squalls (The Abyss), cutie Keith Allen and star Tom Everett Scott (That Thing You Do; An American Werewolf in Paris). Allen, looking particularly scruffy and beat, is the survivor, Sqaulls is Citizen Z and Scott is the guy who has to get him to CA after the guy who was supposed to get him there ("Lost" alum Harold Perrineau) is killed in the pilot (oops - not too much of a spoiler - though to be honest, he was probably smart to collect that paycheck and move on). The rest of the cast is made up of folks you probably have seen before, but wouldn't be able to name if a gun was held to your head. 

Created by Eric Bernt (Romeo Must Die) and consequently written by a passel of writers with mostly minor credits, "Z Nation" squanders whatever potential it may have had on really bad makeup and CGI effects that look like they were made on a teenager's MacPro. Personally, I've seen better zombie makeup on my local Trick or Treaters. Most of the cast look like they know they are in a crappy show and seem almost apologetic for it. What a shame...

Unlike SyFy's better original series ("Battlestar Gallactica;" "Warehouse 13;" "Haven"), I really don't see a full five seasons out of "Z Nation." And that's probably not a bad thing. Most of these folks have better things to do with their time and talents. I certainly have better things to spend my time watching, as do you.

0 Stars Out of Four.

"Z Nation" airs Friday nights at 10 on SyFy and is repeated throughout the week, should you have nothing better to do (though I have to imagine - and hope - you must).



Zombie fans should stick with "The Walking Dead," which is about to begin it's fifth season on AMC.



My sister and I (along with many others) can't wait!

More, anon.
Prospero

Got My Tickets

While not quite the insane San Diego ComicCon, the Philly burbs have hosted a more genre-specific Fan Con called Monster-Mania Con for nearly 30 years, at a convention center in the South Jersey Upper-Middle-Class Philly burb known as Cherry Hill, NJ.

When Uncle P was a kid, the Cherry Hill Mall* was the largest and first of its kind. A trip there with Auntie and Grandmom meant coin-operated and ticketed kiddie rides; endless exploration of the late-60's and early-70's version of Pier One Imports; a new pair of something and maybe a toy (if we were exceptionally well-behaved). After the NJ State Fairgrounds in Trenton closed down, the NJ State Fair was moved to the Cherry Hill Race Track, though these days it is held in North Jersey at The Meadowlands and the old Fairgrounds are now the rather amazing Grounds for Sculpture, which I highly recommend visiting once every few years. But, I digress.

It has been nearly 30 years since Uncle P attended a fan convention. It was 1985 and my sister and I went up to Manhattan (can't remember f I drove or we took the train) to attend Fangoria Magazine's first ever Weekend of Horrors. It was... well, you can imagine. This was early on in Fan Cons and most of the space was taken up by vendors. We made sure we attended George Romero's Day of the Dead panel, where we caught a sneak preview that wasn't immediately shared on an internet which didn't quite exist, yet. And it was amazing. We met and spoke with Horror Icons Tom Savini and Michael Berryman (both of whom were lovely and appreciative of their fans); I bought books and a t-shirt. We got lots of free buttons (including a Back to the Future button I probably should have hung onto) and generally had a good time. Though we found ourselves to be... well... the least nerdy duo in attendance, that day. And while there were maybe a dozen or so cosplayers there, the term had yet to be coined and they stuck out like sore thumbs. 

On Saturday, August 16th, I will be attending Monster-Mania Con with two co-workers: My sweetly and identically insane Mia (creator of Teddy-Z) and the newest addition to our department, Chris B. Chris is a sports guy (go Phillies!); a far less-obsessive movie fan than Uncle P (honestly - his lack of the Essentials is appalling - but I'm going to take care of that) and a fellow performer. I think the three of us will have ourselves a grand time and cannot wait to attend my first modern Fan Con! I'll make sure my phone is charged and will take lots of pics!

If you haven't figured it out by now, yes, I am a HUGE Horror geek and can't wait until we go! I'll also be asking my compatriots to restrain myself when it comes to shopping...

More, anon.
Prospero

*Uncle P started my 20 years of purgatorial retail life at Bamberger's, in my local Oxford Valley Mall.

Az én családom

A húgom

While my mother's heritage was German, Scottish and Welsh, as kids my sister and spent much more time with Dad's decidedly Hungarian side of the family and primarily identify our cultural heritage as Hungarian. And therein lies the title of tonight's post which translates into English as "My family." 

My concept of family and the dynamics within my a family have changed a lot in the past seven months. A húgom (my sister) and the BIL have been here all this weekend, primarily to help me with work on my house. They spent all day Thursday working on installing my new washer; installing new locks on the downstairs doors; repairing my toilet and cleaning out tons of our mother's hoarded junk (Barb found 5 separate gallon jugs of windshield washer fluid in my shed and on my porch, which we assume Mom must have smuggled home from the car dealer where she worked). I came home from work Thursday night to be overwhelmed by what they had accomplished.

Today, the three of us went visit our decidedly Hungarian Auntie, who took us to lunch. Auntie, who will be 78 this September, is wracked by severe arthritis in her hips, knees and ankles, reducing her to basically a shut-in, so it was good to see her getting out of her condo, though I don't imagine she'll be with us much longer, either. Yes, that makes me sad. But it also again reminds me that we need to make the most of the time we have with the people we love.

I think a lot of my friends and family thought I was going to really fall apart when Mom passed away. I knew I wouldn't. Yes, I'm still in mourning, but I'm happy to prove to them that I am much stronger than they thought. I also am happy to acknowledge that most of the credit for my current strength goes to their love and support as part of my chosen family over many years. 

Of course, having a sibling who is also a best friend (and who understands you like no one ever can - we had a moment in Home Depot today that no one else would ever get) who is married to an awesome human being I am proud to call Brother, helps. And while I am not fond of the religious connotations such a phrase might invoke, I can only hope that all of you are as 'blessed' to have such an amazing natural and chosen family as Uncle P does, however dysfunctional it may be.

Nope, not that dysfunctional! Whew!

More, anon.
Prospero

Mothers' Day 2014

Mom

The first year's worth of holidays after losing a loved one is not fun. Mom's passing last October was so close to the winter holidays, they seemed very surreal (especially spending Christmas in Florida). I'll be staying home this Christmas, mostly because I'm going to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. Just the three of us going: Me, myself and I. No schedule while there (except the ticketed shows I'll be seeing); no agenda. Just some insane people-watching and the sights and food of Sin City. I can't wait.

Still, today has been the most difficult holiday, so far. Most of my friends spent the day with their Moms. I can't begrudge them that. I would have done the same, if I could. Picking out just an "Aunt" card for my father's dear sister was certainly tough, given the lack of them at the store. And not looking for several new books for Mom to read was even tougher. She was midway through the last book I bought her (for her birthday) when she passed. 

I think I've mentioned before that all my mother wanted to be was a mother. She wanted seven children, but ended up with just two. When my parents split up after 27 years, she picked herself up and reinvented herself as a savvy working woman, dating but never re-marrying. She even briefly entertained a hot Russian who was five years younger than I was. She settled down when her health started to fail in her late 50's, but she was kept active by her job and the few friends she had. But once she was forced to retire (the Cadillac dealer she worked for went out of business), she sort of gave up and I watched her steady decline with a very sad heart. When she went into the hospital for the last time, I still had hope she would pull through. I thought we'd have a few more years with her, at least. But it was not to be.

Mom loved kids and animals. She's feeding a lorakeet at the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa in that picture, the last time we went to visit my sister together (I'm guessing 2009). A voracious reader, she often went through two or three novels a week; mostly thrillers and mysteries. The last book she finished was "Under the Dome" because she like the series. She loved "The Walking Dead;" "Falling Skies;" "Grey's Anatomy;" "Scandal;" "Mike and Molly" (a show I find terribly unfunny); "Rizzoli and Isles;" "The Closer"/"Major Crimes;" and "Castle" and she'd be really pissed if she knew she was missing the "24" mini-series. She couldn't spell if you held a gun to her head; she mangled pronunciations and was the Queen of Spoonerisms. She was quick to laugh at herself about it, too. She often got celebrity names confused (Morgan Freeman was always Morgan Fairchild) and while she said she never had a favorite movie, if forced to pick one, it would have been Doctor Zhivago. 

She taught my sister and I to cook and do laundry when we were young so we would never have to depend on her. Her cooking when we were kids was awesome, though she often admitted my marinara (based on hers), was better than hers (even though she didn't really like either version). She raised us to be kind to everyone and to not have prejudices. When I finally came out to her, she cried - not because I was gay (she already knew that) but because she thought I was afraid to tell her. She came to almost every show I was in or directed until it became physically too difficult for her to do so and was always supportive of my artistic endeavors. She could out-swear most truckers and occasionally let her own mother's prejudices sneak out, but never with real malice and never without an admonition from me.

It's only been seven months since she left us and I know it will be a long time before I'm really used to the fact that she's gone, but today was just a little bit harder. I miss her - a lot -  and am not ashamed to admit it.

If your Mom is still with you, I hope you at least called her today. If you and your Mom are estranged or if your Mom is also gone, I hope you got through today as painlessly as possible. 

Happy Mothers' Day, Mom. And Happy Mothers' Day to you and your mother, as well.

Comedian John Roberts (of the terrible "Bob's Burgers") nails the suburban mom on the head with his video "Mother's Day."* And while Mom wasn't nearly as whiny as Roberts, I can hear her voice in plenty of the things he says.

*The placement of the apostrophe in Mothers' Day causes tons of anxiety. I must insist that since it is a day for all mothers, it should come after the final 'S,' while there are those who insist on making it singular by placing the apostrophe before the 'S.' IMHO, punctuating it the latter way makes it about one mother only.  Bad form, indeed.

More, anon.
Prospero

Food, Glorious Food?

Yes, It's Real!

Yes, that is a slice of scorpion pizza, which is supposedly for sale at the Calgary Stampede this summer. Fans of cable celebrities Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown have long seen scorpions and tarantulas offered up as street food snacks in Asian and South American countries. There are protein bars on the market made from cricket flour, while insects and arachnids are staples in many non-Western diets. I had chocolate-covered ants, once. It was like a Nestle Crisp bar. And I really don't mind the idea of cricket flour, as long as I don't feel legs and antennae in my mouth. That's the biggest problem I have with this pizza. I can only imagine it's like biting into an unshelled shrimp. UGH! I'd rather eat anchovies. And I LOATHE anchovies.* That very comment led to a discussion of fish (naturally) with a Facebook friend. Like myself, Pam doesn't eat much fish. 

For Uncle P, it's cod; flounder; shrimp; crab (in crab-cakes only), scallops and clams (fried only - which means I haven't had clams in forever); tuna, though NEVER hot! Nothing salty, slimy or fishy. Nothing unborn or unhatched and NEVER anything that has tentacles or is an eel of any kind. All seafood MUST be fully cooked, ONLY. Don't give me raw tuna and charge me $30 for a 'steak.' That's like paying for the flu. I will always prefer battered and fried, but have learned to like some things grilled and others broiled. If I MUST eat clam chowder, it's Manhattan style (I NEVER eat any kind of chowder). Oh, and I do like conch fritters with a nice remoulade or papaya chutney with a side of deep-fried dill pickle chips.

Last weekend, Uncle P and his regular band of foodies got together for yet another of our themed dinner parties. Thankfully, the theme was NOT 'Seafood.' It was, however, another particularly successful meal. Breakfast for Dinner included gigantic, fluffy waffles; sausage meatballs; bagels; a supper-yummy hash-brown casserole; citrus scones; clotted cream and assorted jams, preserves and syrups all topped of with pineapple/orange Mimosas. I haven't found a name for that particular combination, so if you think of a good one before I do, I'll give you full credit. My dish was a variation of a recipe I found on Facebook: a breakfast ring of eggs, cheese, veggies and pastry, served with salsa. The photo below does not include the final layer of cheese on the top. And no, it is NOT burnt on the right. My lame kitchen lighting makes everything look darker than it actually is. 

Uncle P's Breakfast Ring

On Tuesday, most of the first floor at the Day Job will be holding a Cinqo de Sies party (I know... ) and I was going crazy as to what to make. I needed something easy that didn't need heating. I found some pasta and beans and an interesting vinegar and decided to create a new recipe I call "Fiesta Salad." Too Corny? Too Martha? Too gay? I will say this: White Pineapple Vinaigrette. Yes, you read that correctly. I received it as part of a gift of several specialty vinegars from a local presser called "Olive n Grape." It seems to pair quite nicely with the peppers and green onions in the mix. If it's a hit, I'll share the recipe. If it flops, we shall never speak of this again.I think it's yummy, even if I undercooked the pasta by just a bit... More dressing will fix that, I hope... It has a while to marry.

I love to cook and love it when people like what I cook. I hate cooking for just myself. Tonight I tried a Parmesan-crusted chicken that was not bad but not what I'd hoped it would be. The brown rice and peas side-dish I made to go along with it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I ended up toasting half an egg bagel and spreading it with butter and an all fruit raspberry preserve with fiber. That seemed to do the trick. 

Of course, despite all these carb-loaded meals I seem to be having, I have lost 16 pounds since October, without trying. My appetite seems to have diminished quite a bit and I rarely find myself finishing everything on my plate (and I NEVER go back for seconds anymore). I'm not sure if that's anxiety or a manifestation of grief or something else altogether. I take supplements (my sister finally convinced me to include CO-Q-10) and try to eat plenty of fiber and protein, though I'll admit I should eat more vegetables. And it's not that I don't like them. I do. But the way many markets package produce (I'm looking at you, asparagus) makes it difficult to by some of them for just one person. Packaged salads and greens go bad before I can use all of them and loose versions of the same products end up being even more wasteful. Ask the dried-out asparagus and nasty Brussels sprouts I just threw away. And don't tell me to can and/or freeze them. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

*And my dear Q is allergic to them, so feh!

More, anon.
Prospero

Somebody Stop This Beyotch!

I have not seen the latest Disney musical Frozen. I have heard the songs and the parodies of the songs and I think I have a basic understanding of it's plot. And while I love Idina Menzel and the fact that Disney is still able to produce quality films in the digital age... enough, already!

If like Uncle P,  you live along the PA/NJ/NY portion of the infamous I-95 Corridor, then you know exactly what I am talking about. For the past hour, snow has been falling as part of the fourth major snow storm here in as many weeks. Some models project as much as 20 or more inches for the region. Snow here has passed beyond 'magical' and 'beautiful' and long moved on to "I F*CKING HATE WINTER!!"  Of course, it was weather like this which prompted my Sister and the BIL to move to Florida (a state mostly populated by retirees, lunatics, meth-heads and cannibal face-eaters). 

The days are slowly but surely getting longer and I go off of middle shift at the end of this month, which means I'll be going home during daylight once again. Both of these things give me hope, though I still remember the blizzard of March, 1996 and the multiple ice storms of 1998. I was then, as now, convinced winter would never end. I did then and still do, know better. This too, shall pass. Spring will arrive and summer in the Delaware Valley will be excruciatingly humid and we'll all be bitching about that, come mid-July. Still... Taos looks better and better with each passing storm...

If you are trapped in your house today, take some time to enjoy these hilariously (if only slightly) related videos:

This was just last week:

And just to make you feel a little better about this seemingly endless winter, the boys from MST3K have it covered:

Feeling a little warmer already...

More, anon.
Prospero

UPDATE: Uncle P has just learned that the Day Job is closed today! Woo-hoo! Sleeping in!

"Finding Mr. Banks" Is a Lie

P.L. Travers

Disney's latest live-action film is Saving Mr. Banks, supposedly based on the story of how Walt Disney convinced author P.L.Travers to let him turn "Mary Poppins" into a movie.

Travers, an Australian born failed actress, went on to later gain fame as a poet and novelist. Her own banker father died young of alcoholism and she was later raised by the stern and loving nanny who inspired "Mary Poppins." Rumored to be a lesbian and adopting a son (based on an Astrologer's advice) as a single woman in the 1940's, Travers was an early 20th Century pioneer with a rather mercurial personality, prone to moodiness and not particularly fond of children, who later wrote erotica.  But it was the six Poppins novels that brought her the most acclaim.

Travers apparently hated Disney's version of her first novel, even after he convinced her to allow it to be made into a film. 

Sometime in the early 70's, Mom surprised my sister and I by taking us to a matinee of  revival screening of Mary Poppins. After it was over, my poor little sister (who was maybe 5 or 6 at the time) cried hysterically because Mary left the Banks' house. We tried to explain to her that other children needed her help, but she would have none of it.

Recently the BBC made an extraordinary short documentary about Travers and Disney, which exposes much of what the recent film washes over. If you have an hour, I highly recommend the documentary below:

Mary Poppins made an international star out of Julie Andrews (who won her first Oscar for the role) and eventually became one of Disney's most popular films. In fact, I was particularly thrilled by the fountain in the newest part of the Grand Floridian Hotel in Walt Disney World.

The Grand Floridian Hotel Lobby

While my sister may very well be a self-described "Disney Dork," and I truly enjoyed seeing how the various hotels at the Disney World resort were decorated for the holidays, I somehow completely understand how Travers objected to Disney's 'Disneyfication" of her stories.

I understand her objections, especially given my own proclivity for the darker side of life... But I have to admit that the Disney film had a major influence on my own movie experience. I was just 2 when the movie was first released and probably 6 before I saw it for the first time. 

Despite what Travers intended and objected to, millions of children look to Mary Poppins as a peek into early 20th Century British life. Regardless of what Travers thought, both she and Disney made millions off the movie. As much as she may have objected to the movie itself, Travers' children's novels took off because of the film. Travers established a charity using the money she made, but never established a real relationship with her adopted son or his children. 

More, anon.
Prospero

NOT My Favorite Year

Florida is Weird...
.

Officially, Uncle P has one more work day before I'm on my 'Holiday Break.' To be honest, Monday should be fairly slow at the Day Job, though there are always those panicky clients who MUST get documents processed before the break (despite the fact that their documents aren't going anywhere until after we return). 

In my mind, I'm already in warmer climes, even though I don't leave for Florida until Tuesday morning. And yes, I have a bird/house sitter lined up, so I'm not worried about announcing I'll be away. My dear K will stopping in every day to give Skye fresh water; bring in my mail; watch TV and leave lights on.

This year, K. Michael and I are starting a new tradition: Christmas Eve Eve. Let me explain: For the past ten years or so, K would come over to my house on Christmas Eve to have dinner and take part in the orgy of presents Mom and I would share (long story - see previous posts). Since I'll be in Largo for Christmas Eve, I decided to push our celebration up a day and include a sweet and dear friend who has lent me loads of support in the past few months. We'll have our traditional shrimp cocktail and 'broasted' chicken dinner from Chicken Holiday, complete with their amazing fried creamed-corn nuggets; a small gift exchange and (hopefully) a viewing of A Christmas Story. K will be spending the night and taking me to the airport in the morning (though I have no idea who'll be picking me up when I get home, yet).

I hope to get together with my college friend Marousa (among other activities) while in the Tampa/Clearwater/St.Pete area. Of course, Sis has several activities already planned but I really hope this one happens. I'm very much looking forward to a meal at the African restaurant at Disney's Animal Kingdom's hotel (Sis and the BIL are Vacation Club Members) and honestly can't wait to visit the new Salvador Dali museum where I hope to spend some time gazing at my all-time favorite painting (I have no idea why it's so - it just... 'speaks' to me). I also hope to finish what little holiday shopping I have to do for folks with whom I won't exchange gifts until after the New Year. And among all that excitement, I hope to read at least one play and one novel. Great Expectations, indeed.

This will be the first Christmas spent with my sister in over 18 years. It's also the first Christmas Sis and I will spend without Mom. Ugh. So many feels. I'll be home in time to spend New Year's Eve with my BFFs, K.Q and Dale. So it's all good (or so I keep telling myself). 

It is my fervent hope that you are able to spend time with those you love (and who love you) during the Winter Holiday season, no matter what you believe. Merry Christmas; Happy Solstice; Joyous Kwanzaa and Happy New Year!

With the exception of at least one pre-scheduled post, this is probably (though not decidedly)  my last real-time post for 2013. I will not rue this year's passing. Goodbye and Good Riddance to 2013!

Hoping all of you (and I) have a better year coming!

More, anon.
Prospero

Taking a Break

West and Wewaxation

Uncle P has had a rough year (and an even rougher Fall). Last weekend I broke my toe; caught some sort of bug and then had a very hectic and rather exhausting week at the day-job. I'm tired, folks. So I've decided to take a small break from blogging (since I can't seem to get one anywhere else) for the rest of this year. I'm sure my small band of loyal of loyal readers will understand. That's not to say I won't pop in and rant if I find something that inspires me to do so. I hope I do. I may tweet (@Caliban761) and will certainly be on Facebook. And I will be scheduling a few auto-posts here and there. But I need to give up something for a bit, and right now, it's Caliban's Revenge. 

I want to get through the holidays as painlessly as possible and while I'll be spending most of Christmas week with my amazing sister and the BIL in Florida, I'm still in recovery mode and need some time to get re-energized and re-inspired.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season, no matter holidays you do or don't celebrate. Take time for yourselves (and buy something to give yourself for Christmas - a tradition Mom started in our house while I was still in high school). Be good to one another and tell the people you love that you love them, every chance you get. 

See you in 2014.

More, eventually.
Prospero

Retro Review: "The Bay"

Netflix is a wonder, y'all. Why didn't you tell me about it before? Now I know it's not your fault. I'm not the best at electronics and thankfully sis set up my Wii for me (after having for three years) and now I have the service that put Blockbuster out of business. And because I do, I have seen quite a few movies I'd been reading about but missed their first times around (House of the Devil; VHS - a few others). Tonight, Michael and I watched director Barry Levinson's (Diner; Rainman; Toys) take on the Found Footage Horror genre, The Bay.

Set up like a documentary expose, The Bay tells the tale of a small Maryland town which is hit with an outbreak of a devastating parasites on July Fourth, 2009. Anchored by the account of TV news intern (Kether Donahue) and footage supposedly pieced together from surveillance cameras; cell phone cameras; video recorders; police dash-cams and Skype sessions, Levinson's film is both an indictment of corporate malfeasance and ecological indifference, with plenty of gross-outs along the way. Amidst the the Independence Day celebrations, the people of a small Maryland town along the Chesapeake bay are suddenly struck down by rashes, boils and other horrific symptoms which soon overwhelm the local hospital's ER and have the CDC at a loss. 

Unlike most 'Found Footage' films, Levinson doesn't rely on only one or two cameras to tell his story (Michael Wallach's screenplay is based on Levinson's original story), but uses a variety of digital cameras to capture the horrific events, lending an air of veracity often missing from many such movies. The performances from the mostly unknown cast (particularly Stephen Kinken as the confounded but dedicated ER doctor) are effective while the special effects are often quite cringe-worthy (in a good way). Levinson is a truly hit-or-miss director (I'm one of the few who actually likes the underrated Robin Williams fantasy Toys) but I think I have to count The Bay among his hits. Smart, effective and perfectly plausible, The Bay is almost reminiscent of The Ruins in its simple concept and execution. **1/2 (Two and a Half Stars Out of Four)

More, anon.
Prospero

A November Cornucopia

Turn Off the Show

I'm still recovering from and dealing with the aftermath of Mom's passing (ugh - who knew there was so much to do after someone passes?), so I've been rather absent. But there is so much I want to talk about today that I had to post. So let's get started, shall we?

First, news from Broadway: In a scenario right out of a Mel Brooks movie, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (a show I've railed against since it was announced) will close on January 4th after having lost $60 million dollars. Playbill.com reports that the problem-plagued show (which cost $75M to mount and nearly ruined the career of director Julie Taymor) will leave many investors without seeing a dime in revenues. Taymor directed Disney's still-running biggest Broadway hit, The Lion King, but on-set injuries and a disjointed second act led producers to fire her (Taymor sued but the case was settled out of court). It got to the point where people were going to see the show in hopes of witnessing one of its many epic fails. Apparently, no one was going just to hear the rather lame score by Bono and The Edge. The show is so infamous, it even inspired and episode of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent." Still, it will live on in future Las Vegas and German productions, as well as a touring stadium show where some investors may recoup some of their losses. Good riddance to bad theatre, I say.

Next up, a story my sister, Dear D and sweet Mia will hate (sorry kids). Thanks to a video link on Towelroad, I have discovered one of the most interesting performers I've seen in quite some time. Puddles is a 7' tall sad clown with a rather amazing voice and range of styles. The video from revisionist cover band Postmodern Jukebox features Puddles as lead vocalist in a haunting cover of Lorde's "Royals:"

Intrigued. I looked up Puddles Pity Party, which led me to additional YouTube videos and this rather hilariously disturbing death-metal cover of Celine Dion's insipid Titanic theme, "My Heart Will Go On:"

Puddles has several other rather fascinating videos on YouTube, which I highly recommend to those among you who are decidedly not coulrophobic. While I truly admire his work, I can't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy at not being clever enough to come up with a character like that of my own. 

And finally, though hardly last, the still amazing gay icon Cher has given us what may well be the gayest music video ever, outside of an Adam Lambert song. The video for her latest single "Take It Like a Man," features some very hot guys in teeny-tiny Speedos, washing cars; diving off of sailboats and generally acting like they're in a soft-core gay porno. Muscles; tatts; twerking and bulges abound (not that I'm complaining):

Whew! I'm spent.

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: "Battle Royale"

Over the years, several friends and fellow cinephiles have been telling me I had to see Kinji Fukasaku's 2000 Sci-Fi-Action-Splatter mashup, Battle Royale. Obviously an influence on Suzanne Collins' hugely successful YA novel "The Hunger Games" and its sequels, the tale is set in a dystopian future Japan where crime is at an all-time high, committed by bored and dangerous teenagers. The government passes the "BR Act" which calls for a class of 42 ninth-graders to be randomly selected each year and then taken to to a deserted island and made to fight one another to death, until only one is left standing. If by dawn on the third day, more than one is left alive then all are killed via the explosive monitor necklaces around their necks. 

They are each given basic supplies and a 'weapon' of some kind, not all of which are particularly useful (a pot lid and a set of binoculars, for example), or are they? Some are much deadlier; sharp and/or explosive. Some kids vow to find a way out without fighting and a few immediately bail and take their own lives. Pacifist Nanahara vows to protect sweet Noriko and they soon make an unlikely alliance with "exchange student" Kawada, who is surprisingly well-versed in all sorts of things, including emergency first-aid, weapons and survival techniques, claiming his father was both a doctor and a sailor. Other alliances form and fall apart and the number quickly dwindles from the original 42. The violence is brutal and unforgiving, though as in many Japanese splatter movies, the blood sprays often seem a bit Pythonesque. And while it's not always easy to judge the acting in a foreign language film, it seemed to me the young cast did a fine job with dialog that often translated quite hilariously, which unsurprisingly is part of what made it work so well. I only hope it's as funny in Japanese as it is in the subtitled version I saw tonight.

While hardly a Turkey, it was also loads of fun to riff MST3K-style with my sweet, Elvin friend Joel* (who I haven't seen in ages and who came down from NYC just to see me and spend time with me today and I love him very much for doing so!), who is one of the people who has been telling me I should see it for 13 years... D'oh!

Hilarious; sick; violent and an undeniable comment on the Human Condition and the power of the survival instinct, Battle Royale is a must-see for my regular readers who haven't done so, yet. I'm just sorry I waited so long. Composer Masamichi Amano brilliantly augments his score with well-known and ironic passages of European Classic music. The effect is often quite stunning.  It was almost immediately apparent why this film is a modern cult classic and I now must seek out it's sequel. ***1/2 (Three and a Half Out of Four Stars).

*I picked Joel up at the Hamilton Train station after working one of my two mandatory Saturdays a year at the Day Job and he accompanied me on a few errands and then home where I made us lunch (Vodka Penne); he tried to convince me to take up Vikram yoga -- Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! --  and we watched movies on Netflix (thanks for helping me set that up, Sis!). We later ordered Chinese delivery for dinner. When it arrived, the very familiar owner was delivering and he could see the TV. "Oh! You're watching an Asian movie?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes. 'Battle Royale,'" Joel and I both said.

"Oh. I don't know. I don't watch that crap!"

I haven't grinned so hardily in several weeks. Thanks again, Joel! Love you! And I promise to be in NYC soon!

More, anon.
Prospero

This Was Halloween

BOO!

So, If you've been keeping up, you can probably imagine that this was not the happiest of Octobers for Uncle P. 

Still, I'm plugging away and trying to regain a sense of 'normalcy.' Today was my first day back at the Day Job, where I was asked to judge both a departmental cupcake contest (in a department other than my own) and the company-wide costume contest. I'd like to believe I was asked because people there actually respect my opinion, though I wouldn't be surprised if people were just trying to cheer me up. Of course every one said it was the former, though the latter was very helpful. 

Until I got home, where I had exactly 12 Trick-or-Treaters. 

Last year I had just over 40. The year before that, 8. I live on a side street in my development, which serves no real purpose other than to provide housing. You can't really get anywhere significant by driving on my street (unless of course, you count my house). The number of children living on the street varies from year-to-year, depending on who is living here at any given time (some houses here seem to have revolving doors) and growing fears about asking strangers for candy have further reduced the number of kids willing to brave the darkness, especially on a weeknight. Still, I had a few princesses; Batman and Robin and a very clever Popcorn Machine with real popcorn and a light in the dome. But it wasn't quite the same without Mom fawning over the cuteness of the little ones and the cleverness of the older kids. The last knock on my door came at 8:17. I turned off my giant spider and Dracula's Pub lights at 9:00.

Of course, when my sister and I were kids, everyone went door-to-door for hours on end. We'd fill a pillowcase, come home to dump it and head out again. Those days are gone, I'm afraid. And that just makes me all the much sadder about the current state of my favorite holiday.

Still... I watched last night's episode of  "American Horror Story: Coven;" had some delicious (if I say so myself) Hungarian stuffed cabbage for dinner; spoke with my sister about our mutual lack of candy-beggars and did my best to enjoy the evening.

There are major and minor changes happening in my home (both physical and emotional). The number of programs I DVR has been slashed in half and I no longer feel quite so compelled to watch what I've recorded (with a few exceptions), though I catch myself being angry and/or sad that Mom will no longer be able to enjoy some of the shows she loved. I have made some progress in obtaining the necessary paperwork which accompanies someone's death, though find myself frustrated by the operating hours of certain government agencies (Damn you, SSI!). 

It's a process, I suppose. It will take time and be aggravating and even downright blood-boiling at times. I continue to take my anti-hypertension medication and try to take on each issue as it arises... But the wound is still so fresh and painful... 

Hallowe'en has evolved over the centuries from a day of keeping evil spirits at bay to a day of celebration. And it's that spirit I tried to maintain, today. I think Mom wouldn't have wanted me to do anything less. I may be sad that she's no longer here to share the celebration, but oh so very glad for all the times she was.

I hope you had a great Halloween and that you and/or your children got all the goodies you can stomach for the next month or so. If you got a Reeses' Peanut Butter Cup, think of Mom when you eat it. She loved them and loved giving them out. I'll be taking a few dozen or so to share at the Day Job, tomorrow.

And honestly, for folks like Uncle P and several of my friends and family, every day is Halloween:

Turkey Month starts tomorrow and I hope to be back to posting more regularly...

More, anon.
Prospero

A Bit of Advice

Mom feeding a lorakeet at the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa, a few years ago.

It's almost 2 weeks since Mom passed away and the logistics have been a bit of a nightmare. 

Several years ago, Mom made arrangements to donate her remains to science. Noble, yes? Undoubtedly. Successful? Eventually.

The company Mom used is located in Omaha, Nebraska. They promised quick pick up and the eventual return of cremains once she'd given all she could. The problem? Bodies are very difficult to transport across state lines. Of course, my sister and I didn't discover this until today, when we went to get death certificates for her.

The ICU staff at the hospital where she passed assured me they would take care of everything. Needless to say, they didn't. Rather than contacting the company Mom had used, they contacted their local donor network, which doesn't accept full body donations. The hospital never bothered to let me know this. 

Today, my sister and I tried to get death certificates so we could close out her various credit cards; transfer her car to me and collect on her life insurance, only to find out that the certificate hadn't been filed by the hospital because her body had yet to be released. She was still in their morgue. After a trip to the Trenton City Hall, we made our way to the hospital where three lovely ladies came to our aid, descending on us en masse in the cafeteria. They clucked and made phone calls and did everything they could to help. Bizarrely, in all of their collective years in the health care industry, they'd never come across a case where the decedent wanted to donate his or her body to science. Both my sister and I were astonished, but they all agreed this was a learning moment for all of us. After an hour at the hospital and many phone calls, they were finally able to arrange donation to the Mercer County Community College's Mortuary Sciences program, where Mom will (hopefully) be treated with the respect and dignity we all deserve upon passing.

When all was said and done, I was able to procure 2 copies of my own birth certificate (ironically needed to request the death certificate), get Mom to a place where her last wishes could be fulfilled and gain some insight to the problems associated when one eschews the rip-off that is the Funereal Industry. Hopefully, I'll be able to get the required documents before I return to the Day Job on Wednesday.

Add this to cleaning out 40+ years of clothing; shoes; accessories; makeup and doo-dads and we have had quite a few days. We donated 13 large trash bags of clothing; three large boxes of shoes and her left-over medical supplies (including her walker; shower seat; leg-lifts and more) to Goodwill. We were able to sell her jewelry (a rather extensive collection) to cover additional costs associated with her passing and start to prepare for a Spring yard sale for the rest. I still have a full 12 foot closet and two armoires full of clothes to get through, as well as lots of paperwork; insurance claims; document shredding and assorted other things to get through, but we're well on our way. I don't imagine everything will be settled before next summer.

My house already looks very different and will continue to change over the next several months. My family, friends and co-workers continue to be amazing and I can't imagine getting through all of this without them.

But I want to give all of you out there a bit of advice.

First: Make sure your last wishes are well-known and well-documented. And don't let anyone tell you "We'll take of it."

Second: Keep accurate, up-to-date and easily accessible records. Nothing Mom had was labeled or organized. I still have mountains of paperwork to go through.

Third: Destroy all financial documents after 5 years. I have stuff to shred dating back to 1989!

Fourth and finally: Document EVERYTHING! Keep well-labeled, organized multiple copies of everything your family and/or loved ones will need. I had copies of my grandmother's birth-certificate, but not my own.

Plan ahead. We all die. Make sure you don't leave a mess for those left behind.

Well, this was not a happy post, was it? I just hope I've helped a few readers who may be faced with some of the same problems, down the line.

Tomorrow night is the Family and Friends gathering to celebrate Mom's life at one of her favorite places to eat. And while it may very well give closure to less immediate family members, my sister and I still have a ton to do. Ugh!

Anyone interested in buying several hundred flocked clothes-hangers? I could put Joy Mangano out of business....

More anon.
Prospero