Review "The Avengers: Age of Ultron"

Holy cow! I'm actually blogging! In fact, I may blog several times this month as there are at least two other movies coming out and another currently playing on my Must See list and I am determined to see at least two. But that's another post.

So today marked several significant things for your Uncle P.  It was the first movie I've seen in a theater since Christmas; it was the first 'Tentpole' movie of the season; it was the next Marvel movie in an increasingly interconnected series unlike anything that's ever been attempted before and (most importantly) it was the first time that J and I went to the movies together. I love that while J doesn't quite share my enthusiasm for movies, he likes that I have that enthusiasm. The last movie he'd seen in a theater was a Harry Potter movie and he had never seen a 3D movie (poor, sheltered thing - LOL - I love you, Honey!) so it was more than just out first movie together for him, too (yes, we're saving our ticket stubs - we're mushy that way!).

Sorry... You want to know what I thought of the movie. Or, at least I hope you do. Any way...

When we last saw The Avengers as a team, they were eating schwarma after defeating Loki and the alien invaders, much to the chagrin of first-glimpsed villain, Thanos. The Avengers now operate as an independent team under the direction of Steve "Captain America" Rogers (Chris Evans) and we join them in the midst of an assault on a HYRDA compound in Eastern Europe to recover Loki's scepter. Once recovered, Tony "Iron Man" Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) asks to study the sceptor for 3 days before Thor (Chris Hemsworth) returns it to Asgaard. When Stark's computer, Jarvis (Paul Bettany) studies the staff, it discovers the gem inside (one of the 'Infinity Stones' which have featured in several of the films) houses an artificial intelligence. Seeing this as an opportunity to create a sentry for humanity, Stark and and Bruce "Hulk" Banner (Mark Ruffalo) attempt to interface Jarvis and the AI to create what is intended to be a world-wide guardian named Ultron* (James Spader). Of course, as in any good Frankenstein story, a monster arises, instead.

Thankfully, Age of Ultron manages to just barely avoid the Marvel plot formulas that were becoming a little too familiar and this time around we get to learn more about the humans inside the Superheros, particularly Clint "Hawkeye" Barton (Jeremy Renner) and a seemingly impossible romance for Banner and Natasha "Black Widow" Romanov (Scarlett Johansson). There is plenty of the usual Marvel action and banter, with lots of tension-relieving jokes and one-liners in between the grand-scale destruction and over-the-top action sequences (a very funny scene about them all trying to lift Mjölnir turns into an important plot point later on). We are also introduced (I won't say how or when) to the character Vision (Bettany) and a pair of 'enhanced' twins (Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver** and Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch). Add appearances from Marvel regulars Idris Elba; Hayley Atwell; Don Cheadle; Cobie Smulders; Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson and you have a very entertaining movie, indeed. But I must give a special nod to Spader's voice performance, which is dead-on. I knew but had forgotten that Spader was cast, and both J and I were going crazy trying to figure out whose voice it was, because his smarmy inflections and turns of phrase were so very familiar. When the credits rolled we both said "D'oh!"

Yes, we both very much enjoyed the movie, though I thought the 3D was completely unnecessary. It honestly did nothing to enhance the movie and at the end of the 141 minute run-time, my eyes were very tired and J had a headache (he said, "I don't ever need to see another 3D movie, Honey"). Truth be told, I liked the first Avengers movie much better. Writer/Director Joss Whedon obviously has a vision for the franchise and I expect the next film in the series (Infinity Wars) will be the Empire Strikes Back of the series.  *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars). 

The Avengers: Age of Ultron is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action, violence and destruction, and for some suggestive comments." 

*In the original comics, Ultron was invented by Hank Pym, the original "Ant-Man." One of the trailers we saw before the movie was for Marvel's next 'Phase Two' movie Ant-Man starring Paul Rudd ("Oh, Paul!") and Michael Douglas as... Hank Pym!

**We previously saw a very different version of Quicksilver as played by Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past, apparently the result of multiple studios owning various rights to the character, though Taylor-Johnson's version remains truer to the comics.

Well, this was fun. I'm pretty sure you'll hear from me again this month!

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

So this last weekend of September (and the first of Autumn) was a very mixed bag, though most of it good. I had intended on writing this review last night while the movie was still fresh in my mind, but the randomness of the Universe stepped in and made my Saturday night into something other than I had planned (I fell asleep and missed a party, but went out later and met a hot, funny and sweet man I hope to see again - yes, we exchanged numbers; I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid).  I worked one of my two mandatory Saturday mornings (7:00 - 12:30) and then went grocery shopping. I knew I had a party to attend, but after the groceries were put away, I had time to kill so I rented Captain America: The Winter Soldier OnDemand. Warning: This movie came out in the spring. There will be lots of SPOILERS!

Captain America: The First Avenger was one of my favorite movies the summer it was released, and I was very happy to find... well, soon. This time out, Cap is once again up against Hydra, who have wormed their unctuous tentacles into the very heart of S.H.I.E.L.D., led by the duplicitous Alexander Pierce (screen legend Robert Redford playing against type and obviously having the time of his life). When S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is 'killed' by a legendary assassin known as 'The Winter Soldier' (Sebastian Stan), it's up to Steve Rogers to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Despite being told by Fury to "Trust no one.," Rogers does trust Agent Natasha 'Black Widow' Romanov (Scarlett Johansson, finally getting a chance to do some character development, especially with her relationship with Cap) and new Avenger Sam 'Falcon' Wilson (The Hurt Locker's Anthony Mackie) who is introduced in an hilarious opening sequence where Steve keeps passing him in a jog around the Washington Memorial Reflecting Pool ("On your left!")

Directors Anthony and Joe Russo (my beloved "Community") have proven they have the chops to make a coherent action film with action sequences which a) make sense and b) can be followed without straining one's eyes. This is exactly what an Superhero action movie is supposed to be, folks! Performances across the board are up to Marvel's usual standards. Of course, while the astonishingly beautiful Chris Evans was born to play Steve 'Captain America' Rogers, he was nearly shirtless enough for countless women and gay men (though that grey jogging T is pretty amazing!). The scene with the now dying Peggy Carter (a heavily made-up Hayley Atwell) was particularly well done. There is also a very Sky Captain-ish appearance by the the fabulous Toby Jones as the computerized mind of mad scientist and Red Skull's right-hand-man, Arnim Zola.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is probably one of the best of the Marvel films and certainly one of my favorites. If I had to quibble at all, it's that it seems to follow the Marvel formula: Complicated plot followed by massive third act destruction. It may be time to mix it up a bit, guys. Still, it's a solid and beautifully made action movie with loads of all sorts of eye-candy for everyone! One last spoiler: Did you really think Cap and his team wouldn't prevail? **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Rated PG-13 "for intense sequences of violence, gunplay and action throughout."

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

Bryan Hawn

You know I love me some gay boys lip-syncing to Diva songs. In fact, the very first "The Gayest Thing" post here on Caliban's Revenge was that little twink dancing to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' in his bedroom. Then there was the boy singing Miley in the shower and who knows how many others. It's been a while since anyone's done one of note so I was a bit surprised to find the video below on Facebook, today.

Former Aberzombie model; trainer; aspiring singer and actor Bryan Hawn (how much do I love that his site has a link to his 'ass workout?' Probably as much as I hate the misspelling of his first name) has posted his take on Sia's "Chandelier."

Uncle P is old, kids. I know that Sia (not to be confused with my sweet friend 'Siah) exists, only because I've seen her name on various websites and may have caught her on "Fashion Police," back when I watched it with Mom. The song is okay, I guess, but it seems silly coming from Hawn's mouth. Truthfully, Hawn isn't exactly Uncle P's 'type.' I get it... hardbody boy and all that... but he's a bit too hairless for my taste (TMI, I know) and there's something about his face... I suppose he just doesn't look very bright (he may be a genius for all I know, though I somehow doubt it). Still, the video is hilariously gay and I know plenty of friends and followers who will totally lose their sh*t over him. Enjoy:

Meh. Give me Jason; Chris; Paul; Henry; Jason; Jake or James any day (so many J's!).

More, anon.
Prospero

Strange Bedfellows or: End of the Weekend Gratuitisness

PA State Representative Brian Sims of Philadelphia

This has been a rough week for the country, and especially the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and in particular, the city of Boston and its suburb, Watertown (and I have the audacity to complain about a bad movie...).  A very long time ago, someone I once knew told me "The worst thing that is ever going to happen to you no matter what, and you have very little control over it, so why live in fear of it? Embrace your finite mortality and engage in every moment of your life, even your dreams. They are all we'll ever have." He may have been stoned at the time (shh... don't tell) but he was right. It took me a long to actually process what that really meant.

Anyway, I thought the majority of my readers (straight women and other gay men) might want to just have a moment to ourselves and share some happy, probably Safe for Work beefcake, if only to bring a smile you face.

That's openly gay and super-hot State Rep Brian Sims making my blog look so good, right off the bat. A champion of Equality, the 35 year old is the first openly gay person to be elected to the Pennsylvania General Assembly and remains the only openly gay football captain in the NCAA while at Bloomsburg University. Sims received his Juris Doctorate at Michigan State and served as both the President of Equality Pennsylvania and Chairman of Gay and Lesbian Lawyers of Philadelphia. Talk about husband material. Sorry ladies. this one's ours.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't share. You know you want the Ryans as much as we do:

Sensitive; enigmatic; baby-faced Gosling is simply irresistible with his knowing smile and non-judgmental eyes and smoking hot body! And he can actually act!

Reynolds, on the other hand, just exudes sexy. The Canadian actor's insanely hot body; 'Boy-Next-Door' good looks and generally genial manner make up for the nonsense that was Green Lantern. Seriously, what kind of moron hides that body in a CGI suit?

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.... Oh, sorry. Got a little lost there for a moment. He's been both the Human Torch and Captain America. Evans stopped listening to the agent who told him to keep his clothes on, thank goodness.

  

Bollywood Superstar Hrithric Roshan will always be on my list of Things That Make Me Happy.

Of course, there's always my personal Obsession:

Feel better. I know I do. Hope this week is better for all of us!

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: Five For and Five Against "The Avengers"

The Avengers

Like many Americans, I had off today for Labor Day. Not so coincidentally, Disney and Marvel re-released The Avengers to the big screen for one week on Saturday. Because I missed it the first time around (I was a little busy), I decided to take advantage of the day off and see the movie all my friends seemed to love. Armed with the AMC gift card my sister wisely gave me for my birthday, I went to my favorite AMC for the 11:35 AM show (all movies before Noon at AMCs in my region are just $6.00 - Score!).

I am assuming most of my regular readers have already seen it, so I'll once again borrow from my buddy Sean and do a "Five For/Five Against" review.

FOR:

5. Joss Whedon. A true fan-boy, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; "Firefly;" "Dollhouse;" Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Cabin in the Woods hit a double homer with a funny, exciting script and spot-on direction. Sure, there are a few plot holes. Just how did Loki escape the abyss? How exactly did Thor return to Earth? Where the heck did the Hulk land so he could make it back to NYC so quickly and just how did Banner and Thor know to go there, in the first place?

4. Chris Evans. I could watch that man read a phone book, as long as he did so with his shirt off. Woof!

3. Robert Downey, Jr. Those bedroom eyes are just the start. As in both of the previous Ironman movies, Downey is simply terrific as the wise-cracking super genius superhero with a super ego. He totally deserves the top billing he received.

2. They finally got The Hulk right. Mark Ruffalo was nothing less than wonderful as Bruce Banner and it was great to see the Hulk actually modeled after the actor playing Banner, complete with hairy torso. I do hope Ruffalo gets his own stand-alone Hulk movie (preferably with Whedon at the helm). He certainly deserves it.

1. The FX. I deliberately chose to see The Avengers in 2D and I think many of the effects would have been ruined in 3D. Not once did I think "Oh, that's great CGI." I just thought, "Oh, that was awesome!"

Easter Egg Bonus: At the very end of the credits, we're treated to a very funny (and practically silent) scene of the team eating at the Shawarma place Tony Stark talks about near the end of the movie. The perfect way to humanize super-humans.

AGAINST:

5. Jeremy Renner. I just don't get it. He's not particularly attractive (that nose!) or especially talented. I kept thinking that any thirty-something actor could have done as well or better as 'Hawkeye.' He does have nice arms, though - I'll give him that. And I don't know why early posters showed him wearing a mask, since he doesn't do so in the movie.

4. Manhattan Mayhem. Yes, it's been 11 years, but seeing  Manhattan skyscrapers collapsing still made me a bit uncomfortable.

3. SPOILER ALERT: The Death of Agent Phil Coulson. Really? The underrated Clark Gregg has been a favorite of mine since his turns as Michael Casper on "The West Wing" and Richard Campbell on "The New Adventures of Old Christine." I can't wait to see what he does with Leonato in Whedon's modern dress version of Much Ado About Nothing (a play very dear to my heart). I actually gasped when Loki literally stabbed him in the back.

2. Agent Maria Hill. I love Cobie Smulders on "How I Met Your Mother." Here, she was just meh. But I blame it on the role, rather than Smulders. Again, any attractive thirty-something actress could have played the part just as effectively.

1. Thanos. This little-loved Marvel villain is apparently behind Loki's attempt at conquering Earth, as seen in the first Easter egg after the main titles. I can't imagine how Whedon will work the death-loving monster into The Avengers II, though I'm certainly willing to give him the chance.

Regardless of its minor flaws, The Avengers is still an enormously entertaining movie and fans of the Superhero genre will not be disappointed. I certainly wasn't. ***1/2 (Three and a Half Out of Four Stars).



More, anon.
Prospero

Review: "Captain America"

The last Marvel superhero to get his own movie before next summer's The Avengers, Captain America has been around since WWII, famously punching Hitler in the face on an iconic cover that actually makes an appearance in the movie version of Captain America: The First Avenger.

Chris Evans, a hottie with boy-next-door good looks and a body that makes me cry is Steve Rogers, a short, skinny and bullied asthmatic who wants nothing more than to join the Army and fight for his country. After five rejections, he and his buddy Bucky Barnes are overheard at the World's Fair by Dr. Erskine (Stanley Tucci) who decides that Steve is perfect for his experimental serum to create a super soldier. Steve soon finds himself in a secret lab run by Erskine and Howard Stark (father of Tony "Ironman" Stark, played by Dominic Cooper) where he is injected with Erskine's serum and bombarded with Stark's 'Vitarays.' When it's over, Steve has become the epitome of muscular pulchritude; super-strong, super-fast and super-good looking.  

Steve's C.O., Colonel Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones), wants him shipped off to a lab for study but a senator overseeing the project decides to send him off on tour, shilling bonds for the USO under the moniker Captain America. When the tour reaches Italy and Steve learns that Bucky has been captured behind enemy lines, he springs into action, aided by Stark and the beautiful Agent Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) and the superhero we know and love is born.

Bucky has been captured by the evil Johann Schmidt, AKA Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), who heads up Hitler's secret science team HYDRA. Using an ancient energy source stolen from Odin's palace in Valhalla, (a reference to Thor), Schmidt has created weapons that can decimate entire cities. Schmidt, of course, was the first to use Erskine's serum, which amplifies everything about a person. So while Steve becomes a hero, the already evil Schmidt becomes a monster, bent on nothing less than world domination, der Fuhrer be damned.

Writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely have written a highly entertaining and often very amusing origin tale that works on several levels. Staying mostly true to Joe Simon and Jack Kirby's comics, their script deviates slightly from the Marvel Universe's story line (Semi-Spoiler: In the Marvel Universe, Red Skull kills Peter "Spider-Man" Parker's parents, but that no longer makes sense in the Marvel movies) and also manages to make a cheeky reference to Raiders of the Lost Ark early on.

Director Joe Johnston has surprisingly crafted this summer's best superhero movie, and that's saying something considering this is the man who gave us last year's dreary The Wolfman and the insipid Jurassic Park III. That's not to say he's a terrible director; he did make The Rocketeer and Jumanji, so it's not shocking that Captain America is as good as it is. Of course, much of the credit goes to near-perfect casting. Evans is fine (in more ways than one) as Steve/Cappie and Dominic Cooper is perfect as the young version of Robert Downey Jr's father. Weaving is an intimidating Red Skull despite his almost German accent, while Jones, Atwell, Tucci and the rest of the company all give earnest enough performances. The action (once it gets going) is exciting without being confused by dozens of jump cuts and blurry camera pans. The film's "science" may be a bit silly but this a comic book superhero movie, not a treatise on physics. Alan Silvestri's score is appropriately rousing and the very amusing USO song, "Star Spangled Man" by Alan Menken and Dave Zippel is dead-on hilarious.

D and I both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves (though the young child in the row in front of us was obviously bored). If you go, make sure to stick around after the credits for an Avengers teaser. *** (Three Out of Four Stars).

Do Over: Hot Super Edition.

Let's try this again, shall we? This post's original title was "Supers Hot" but after the great Firefox Fail of 2011, I tweaked it.

This weekend sees the first of three in Marvel's Avengers saga, Thor. Relative newcomer Chris Hemsworth stars as one of Stan Lee's odder Supers, in that he is neither human nor alien, but an actual Norse god trapped on Earth. My only associations to the character are the 70's Saturday cartoon version and an astonishingly young and gorgeous Vincent D'Onofrio in Adventures in Baby Sitting, which leaves me actually looking forward to seeing what a director like Kenneth Brannaugh does with material that is probably among the more absurd Super Heroes in the Marvel universe.

Marvel also has another specimen of male perfection in Captain America: The First Avenger. Starring the stunnningness that is Chris Evans (above) as Steve Rogers/Captain America, a 90 lb weakling who forgoes Charles Atlas and volunteers for a secret military experiment to create a Super Soldier Ironically, there's an iconic cover featuring Cap punching Hitler in the face. And if I remember, weren't Addie and Hermie actually trying to create a race of Ubermensch ? Anyway, Captain America has been since WWII and has almost as long a history as Superman. Like many comic book Supers, Steve Rogers is no longer the Captain in the current version of the comic, having been replaced at least once, but I couldn't tell you by whom. Hit-or-Miss director Joe Johnston has his work cut out for him in tying in a character from a different era into the set-in-the present Avengers. Of course, I've had my eye on Evans ever since his debut in Larry Cohen's ridiculous but thoroughly entertaining Cellular, which also starred My Obsession. Evans just gets better and better... and his acting has improved, as well... (rimshot). Watch this while I go cool off:

And Marvel competitor, DC isn't sitting out the summer. The also stunning Ryan Reynolds is Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern. After an alien crash lands on Earth, Jordan finds himself in possession of a mysterious ring and lamp, which the dying ET in the UFO says chose him. Hal has been designated arth's Green Lantern, one of thousands throughout the Universe. The mostly green-screen and CGI movie also stars Peter Sarsgaard; Mark Strong; Geoffrey Rush and Tim Robbins. 

Reynolds may not be the best actor in the world, but he's not terrible. And I know lots of folks who could spend hours just looking at him.... Too bad the costume is CGI, too. Then again, Ryan in real tights might just be too much to handle in a mature and respectful manner. The latest trailer makes Green Lantern look pretty a-frickin-mazing:

And while not exactly a comic book hero, pulp writer Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian has been resurrected in the form of Pacific Islander Jason Mamoa, who could be rocketed to stardom (like Conan's first portrayer who went on to something... um...I want to say politcal? Conversely, he could be starring in his one and only major studio film. 

Mamoa was on "Baywatch," I guess. He had bad dreds, from all the pictures I could find. And he wasn't nearly as big. There's something about the shape of his eyebrows that bothers me, but they may just be enhanced for "barbaric" effect. And of course, it's not like they would be a deal-breaker, if you know what I mean. Mamoa's amazing body certainly looks more natural than the former Governor's did in the same role. Of course, 10 minutes with Mamoa's trainer would in all likelihood literally kill Uncle P. And then where would all of you be left? Sigh...

I hope you watched all those in Full Screen. And I hope you all realized that this Summer is the kind of summer gay fanboys dream about...

More, anon.
Prospero