Not All Swedes Are Blond, Norse Giants

Alexander Skarsgard

Ask a straight man 'of a certain age' to name a hot Swede and he might answer "Elke Sommer." Ask a gay man of almost any age the same the question, and he'll almost certainly answer "Alexander Skarsgard," probably best known for his role as a sexy vampire on HBO's "True Blood." And while I can definitely appreciate Mr. Skarsgard's attributes, personally, I'd rather spend an evening with his co-star, Joe Manganniello, a dark-toned, hirsute brute with a killer smile and muscles that go on for days.. TMI? Get over it. My other hirsute hottie favs include Bollywood star Hrithric Roshan; Superman Henry Cavill;  Chris Evans and Iron Man himself, Robert Downey, Jr. Hell, Goonies and Caveman co-star (and former NFL player) John Matuszak filled the bill quite nicely, back in the day.

Okay - now you know more about Uncle P's proclivities  than many of my closest friends (no, not really - did you honestly expect me to reveal information my closest friends don't already know?)

Still, when I think of Swedes; Danes and Norwegians, I somehow always conjure up an image of Dolph Lundgren. But a video of members of the Swedish Marines lip-dubbing "Greased Lighting" from the film version of the musical Grease has proven me so very wrong. Brunets easily outnumber blonds in the viral video making its way around the Internet. See for yourselves:

Personally, hair color means far less to me than hair coverage. Damn! I've over-shared again. Anyway, I'd love to see a Gay Bear version of "The Bare Necessities," if only to hear the whizzing sound of Walt spinning in his supposedly icy vault.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Christmas

Brrrr!

Every time I try to get away, they just keep pulling me back! I really thought I was on E ("Empty," NOT Ecstasy). Apparently I'm not because here are two videos that actually helped raise... my spirits, you pervs!

I officially have one week before I'm off to spend the holiday with my sister in the land of lighted palms and be-shorted Santas.

So what does it take to make this Grinch's heart grow (not too much, because enlarged syndrome isn't really a good thing)?  Well, hotties in Speedos and/or undies and adorable frat boys frolicking in the snow to a Katy Perry song, of course.

So here are two very gay, somewhat pervy and often hot videos that warmed the cockles of my heart (look it up, pervs!). 

The first is via Wicked Gay Blog and involves the kind of weather that makes me think of Seinfeld, swimming and other cold-weather/water associated phenomena:

The second is the kind of video that makes me wish I was the self-confident (well, almost) version of myself now, when I was in my 20's (via):

What is it about Katy Perry?

More, anon.
Prospero

Pachelbel Smiled

Adorable, no?

Couldn't resist this one. Regular readers know my obsession with Flash Mobs. I'm particularly pleased when they involve great music. Of course, when they include adorable cellists and woofy bassists in Air Force uniforms... Well, I don't know about you, but Uncle P must admit to feeling a bit like Garth when he climbs the rope in Gym.

Yesterday, I secured a gig directing a new short play for a new Short Play Festival in North Jersey. I'm very pleased by this and intrigued by the piece (a discourse - in part - on the value of art) and am about to submit a proposal to direct a Christopher Durang piece for a company which has always intimidated me, but which I am pretty sure I can convince to book me, if I get my sh*t together. I am moving forward; rejoining the world and expanding upon my life as an artist. And that's a very good thing, I think.

Someday, in conjunction with some project or other, I am going to stage and execute one of the most amazing Flash Mobs, ever. It joins a return to Paris, visits to London; Cairo; Brisbane; Sydney; Queensland; Tokyo; Bangkok and Machu Pichu and directing "Evil Dead: The Musical" and/or a black comedy 'splash zone' version of "Titus Andronicus" on my ever-growing Bucket List.

Here (via) is the Flash Mob video that inspired tonight's post:

Maybe... just maybe... I'm finally feeling a bit of Holiday Spirit. Or I may just be a sucker for a hottie in a uniform! If I believed in an afterlife, I would imagine Pachelbel smiling at this. It certainly brightened my day!

More, anon.
Prospero

For the First Time, Ever

Kenichi Ebina

For the first time since I started watching my Reality TV guilty pleasure "America's Got Talent," my favorite act won. Japanese dancer Kenichi Ebina took the top prize of $1M and a stint as a Vegas headliner. 

Last Season, William Close was my favorite. The 'Earth Harpist' was fascinating to watch. A dog act won. The year before that, I didn't have a favorite. A former car wash attendant turned lounge crooner (albeit a very good one), won. 

Season 5 gave me my all-time favorite contestant. You know him, you love him. Madamen und Herren. Medames et Monsieurs. Ladies and... Gentlemen. Presenting His Majesty, Prince Poppycock:

Singer John Quale's alter-ego displayed not only Quale's prodigious vocal talent, but his genius in creating a truly memorable character. The winner was blues singer Michael Grimm. Who?

In Season 4, another opera singer, the lovely and talented Barbara Padilla was my favorite. Her audition was revelatory:

Barbara came in second to Country singer Kevin Skinner. Who?

But this year, my favorite was visionary Dancer/Mime/Choreographer/Gymnast/Contortionist Kenichi Ebina, who was consistently better and more creative with each performance. The self-taught, petite and gloriously elvish-looking performer beat out some very talented folks, including both my runner-up picks, opera trio 'Forte' (my mother's favorite, who will definitely have a career) and the adorable 17 year old magician, Collins Key (also likely to have an amazing career).

If you don't watch AGT (and Uncle P will think no less of you if not), see why Kenichi won this year:

I couldn't be happier for Kenichi Ebina. Congratulations to a truly brilliant and original performing artist who deserves to be seen and appreciated.

Gushing over.

More, anon.
Prospero

What's That Spining Sound?

Miley as Hannah Montana

Despite the persistent rumors that he had himself crygonically frozen, I can assure you that Walt Disney was interred at Forest Lawn Cemetery in Glendale, California., along with dozens of other Hollywood legends.

And even though I said on Facebook that I wouldn't watch Miley Cyrus' performance at last night's VMA's, the great cry and hue about said performance pretty much left me feeling like I had to watch it and comment further. And so I did. Now comes the further commenting.

All day I've been wondering why I heard spinning sounds from the west. Having watched Cyrus' performance, it has become apparent that whatever remains of Mr. Disney is spinning fast and hard enough to be heard nearly 3000 miles away. The man who once asked Annette Funicello to keep her navel covered in her Beach Blanket movies must be vomiting ectoplasm all over the place.

As I am sure you must know by now, I am hardly a prude.I like sex as much as any other red-blooded American male. And it honestly takes a lot to offend me. Still... when America's Sweetheart turns herself into America's Slut, even Uncle P has to take notice. 

It's not that I am opposed to a young woman growing up and reinventing herself. Nor am I opposed to any young person's sexual awakening. Far from it. Go for it! I certainly wish that at 20 I had had the balls to be myself (though 20 for Uncle P was well into the last century - a very different time). Still, I don't think I would have been nearly as overtly sexual as the former Disney star was last night. If you haven't seen it (and I may be the last American to actually subject myself to it), here's the clip:

WTF?!?!

I don't blame parents who are upset that their children's idol gave such an exploitative performance. I don't even blame Robin Thicke (though he was obviously complicit) for his part in Cyrus' lascivious performance. Cyrus is legally an adult and can do whatever she likes, as long as it's legal and doesn't harm anyone else. Still, I have to wonder how all those tweens and teens who watched Cyrus' wholesome Disney show and expected an equally wholesome performance from their idol (not to mention their parents' reactions) reacted to her rather lascivious performance. Were I a parent of a 12 to 15 year old girl, I imagine I'd be rather incensed, myself.

Here's the thing: Your television's remote (or when I was a kid, dial) has a button that allows you to change the channel if you see something you don't like or don't want your children to see. If you didn't change the channel last night, you have no right to complain about what was aired. If you let your children watch that mess, you have no right to complain about its overtly sexual images. If you let your children play violent video games, you have no right to complain when they act violently in their social play. And if you take your 8 year old to see an "R" rated horror movie, you have no right to complain when said 8 year old wakes you up because he or she had a nightmare.

Change the channel. Hire a sitter. Don't buy 'Street Murdering Pimps' for X-Box. Don't complain when you allow your children to be exposed to things which you find offensive.

Get over it, already.

More, anon.

Prospero

Do Boycotts Work?

There was that gay boycott of Coors beer in the 90's. That worked, right? Coors is out of business, right? More recently (and still going on) we boycotted Chick-Fil-A. And they totally went under. And right before that, our boycott of Target took them down. And let's not forget the opposition. One Million Moms' boycott of JC Penney really sent them spiraling into oblivion, didn't it?

Oh... wait. None of those boycotts made a damned bit of a difference to the companies being boycotted. And while as a community, we are much larger in numbers than One Million Moms (with 58,000 followers on Facebook - about 5% of their claimed membership), even we couldn't take down Coors, Chick-Fil-A or Target.

In the light of recent anti-gay politicking under uber-masculine President Vladimir Putin (methinks the lady doth protest too much) and homophobic attacks in the former USSR, LGBT activist Dan Savage has called for a boycott of Russian products. In particular, Russian Vodka. Already bars in Chicago, San Francisco and several other US cities have removed Stoli and other Russian brands from their shelves. In response, the president of Stolichnaya (which operates in Russia and Latvia) has issued a statement decrying Putin's policies, while touting their promotion of and participation in LGBT events all over the world -- except in Russia. He goes on to say that they are a private company with no influence on governmental policies. And he is 100% right.

In the late 70's or early 80's, I remember a call to boycott Chilean grapes. I think it had something to due with the political climate in Chili at the time. It didn't stop me from eating grapes, mostly because I didn't care about the political climate in Chili. And this current call for a boycott of Russian products isn't going to stop people from drinking Stoli or buying gas at Lukoil and will certainly not stop Putin and his homophobic, fascist regime from persecuting LGBT people in Russia. And that's because most Americans don't care about the political climate in Russia. 

Support for Marriage Equality may be at an all-time high in the U.S., but most of us are more concerned with being able to afford the gas to get to work, let alone Human Rights violations thousands of miles away in some frozen wasteland of a country we've always considered "less than." Hmmm...sound familiar?

Don't get me wrong, I'm very concerned about Human Rights violations wherever they are taking place. But we need to take care of those same issues here in the States before we can even begin to worry about the rest of the world. Hate crimes against LGBTQ people are on the rise (I suspect because the homophobes are reacting against recent strides in Marriage Equality). Recent events in NYC (one of the gay-friendliest cities in the world) prove that we still have a long way to go before we are equal -- Just ask the African-Americans who are still dealing with racism 40+ years after the March on Selma. Ask the Latino-Americans who are subjected to documentation searches in certain southern states. Ask the flight crew of Asiana Airlines flight 214, who were subjected to a news report featuring sophomoric parody names like "Wee Too Lo" and "Bang Ding Ow." Ask any West Asian/Muslim person in the US how they've been treated since 9/11. Ask every parent of a child who committed suicide last year because of homophobic bullying. 

Ask an aging gay atheist what the problem is and I'll be happy to tell you. Ignorance, fear and religion are at the root of both homophobia and xenophobia. Putin's policies are backed by the Russian Orthodox Church, whose leader has said (and I'm paraphrasing here, so don't jump down my throat) that Marriage Equality will bring about the apocalypse. Talk about using scare tactics! 

Here's the thing - boycotts are all well and good, despite their ineffectiveness. If nothing else, they raise awareness. And that's not such a bad thing. 

How do we fix the problem in Russia? I don't know. Some are calling for a ban on international travel by Russian officials. Others are calling for UN sanctions. Me? I'm calling for fighting homophobia, ignorance and hate here in the U.S. before we start worrying about the rest of the world. We can't fix problems elsewhere until they're fixed here. And while I am encouraged by how quickly things are happening here, I know we have a long way to go before joining the now 16 (with the recent addition of the UK) countries which afford same-sex couples the same rights and privileges as opposite-sex couples.

I still don't eat at Chick-Fil-A, but I shop at Target. I was never a big drinker of Stoli (there are cheaper and equally good, if not, better vodkas on the market) so I won't miss anything by not drinking their products. Coors has moved on, though I rarely drink beer (and when I do, it's Harp or Sam Adams or a local brew-pub's). In general, boycotts don't work. Want to effect change? Write or call your local representatives (a simple Google or Bing search will get you the info you need). Demand sanctions and actions. Demand changes to your state's laws. VOTE! Voting is the single most powerful tool we have to effect change in government policy, and most of us don't even bother. Become involved. Be a voice for change, rather than whining about what you don't like. Support local and national LGBT charities either by donating money or volunteering time. Whatever it is, just don't sit on your ass and do nothing. That never helps. The video below may (and should) be disturbing.

More, anon,
Prospero

The Weirdest Nonsense You'll See This Week, Among Other Things

Lots of good things going on this weekend, including the fact that I will be able to audition for a show in which I very much want to take part (my upcoming Day Job trip to the City on the Lake is the same weekend as regular auditions and the producers have graciously agreed to see me early. Yay!) Last night I had a great time at the movies with a friend and while today saw the usual Sunday tasks, none of them were particularly stressful and I got to enjoy plenty of time to decompress. So even though it is the end of the weekend, I'm still in a really good mood.

Of course, there's almost nothing that puts me in a better mood than a bit of good, old-fashioned nonsense. And it just so happens that Jonco, over at Bits And Pieces shared plenty of nonsense today, and I wanted to share some of it with you. 

First is something called "Face Folding" The Daily Dot (I've never heard of it, either) says 'Face Folding Turns Every Movie Into a Horror.' Honestly, I'm not sure I agree with that, especially when they use clips from Sci-Fi and Fantasy films and manipulate actors' voices to illustrate their point. The effect is sometimes creepy, but more often just... Extraterrestrial.

And there's this delightfully hilarious bit of editing nonsense that had Uncle P quite literally LOL'ing more than once. Enjoy:

It was the IRL QWOP clip (link has NSFW language) that got me started giggling uncontrollably. The rest was just more fuel for the fire.

In "Only in America" News: The County Fair at the Sonoma-Marin Fairgrounds in Petaluma, California held it's annual World's Ugliest Dog Contest. Beagle/Boxer Winner Walle gets his owner $1500.00 and national TV appearances. I guess it's a good thing that these poor doggies have no idea they're ugly.

Finally, among other things and on an only semi-nonsensical point, if you're a regular then you know the only Reality/Talent show I watch is AGT (a guilty pleasure, to be sure). Well, for the first time in a very long time, I have an early favorite. Kenichi Ebina is a rather amazing dancer and I can see him moving on to the finals (though not sure this early that he can win - no dancers ever have).

Hoping your week stays silly (in the good way, of course). I, for one, will be seeking a shrubbery. A nice one with a path down the middle so you get a lovely two-level effect (ooh - what a give-away!).


More, anon.
Prospero

PS - I love how meta this post turned out, even if it's only meta to me.

VD

So... Today was Valentine's Day. You'll notice they've taken the "Saint" out of the holiday. Valentine was supposedly a Christian martyr who may have, among many other myths, performed illegal Christian marriages. His remains are reportedly interred in Ireland. Most modern, right-wing Christians don't really think about the time when being a Christian was punishable by death under Roman law. Or if they do, they certainly don't equate that persecution with their persecution of modern minorities.

The image on the right is from a series of "Puritan Valentines" posted on CollegeHumor.com, though it certainly expresses the opinion of the happily dwindling number of people in the U.S. who think I and others like me are evil; possessed; mentally ill; morally bankrupt; perverted; unnatural; hell-bound; filthy; sick or otherwise corrupted.

People complain that Valentine's Day is a "Hallmark Holiday," concocted by the Greeting Card; Jewelry; Floral and Candy Industries to drive sales in early spring, after having drained consumers' wallets just two months prior.. Having spent my fair share of time working in many aspects of retail, I can assure you that this is partially true. Still, there is something exhilarating about romantic love and the idea of a 'soul mate.' While T and I exchanged Valentine's texts (his was particularly sweet) and talked tonight,  I can't exactly say we're each other's 'Valentines.' Not yet, any way.

As for the Day Job's 'Red Food Party' today, everyone laughed along with Uncle P and "The Tale of the Wrong Spice." I promised to make them correctly for next month's 'Green Food Party' (remind me to buy green food coloring). 

If you had hot, romantic fun times with your Valentine today/tonight, go you! If not, here are some goats that sort of sound like people:

Sorry. I'm "in a mood," as they say.

More, anon.
Prospero

A Literal Flashmob & The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

Illuminati?

Search "Flash Mob" on The Revenge and you will find 13 entries (including this one). And while "Flash Mob" hardly has as many entries as say "Movies" (587); "Horror" (284) or even my beloved "Zombies" (101), it's still an intriguing idea and something I desperately want to plan. And while some posts combine "Flash Mob" with entries like "Zombies;" "The Gayest Thing" and "Music Video," there are plenty of ways to read about what I call a "Mini-Obsession."

One of the very first Flash Mobs to go viral was Improv Everywhere's Frozen Grand Central. I immediately loved what they were doing:

They've since gone on to several "No Pants Subway Ride" events; a board meeting in the middles of an office supply store; synchronized car alarms and any other number of insane and amusing events, all of which can be seen on YouTube. Since they made their big splash at Grand Central, they returned to help celebrate the fabled and historic terminals 100th anniversary with a synchronized light show, literally 'flashing' their audience (see, I know you all have minds like mine, and I do not mean this). Via comes this clip of "Grand Central Human-Powered Light Show:"

I'll bet you're glad I didn't link to that Bondi Beach video again, aren't you? 

Since I'm already talking about videos and "The Gayest Thing," below (also via) is Sherry Vine's latest bit of nonsense; a parody of Tina Turner's 'Private Dancer.' Really? A parody of a 30 year-old song? Why not? It works, mostly because the hilarious lyrics are about the men gay boys (who, me?) lusted after in the 70's and 80's. And because Vine never takes any of it seriously, mocking both her performance and the production values in a very silly and obviously last-minute bit of foolishness. Enjoy:

There is another 'snowpocalypse' predicted for the East Coast tomorrow and Saturday (which would cause grief for me both personally (postponing a much-anticipated second date with T) and professionally (you don't want to know). If the fear-mongering TV Weatherfolk are wrong (as my rational, non-ratings-seeking, airport meteorologist friend Chris says they are), then I will hopefully not be posting tomorrow night as I have something much more exciting planned (wink-wink, nudge-nudge).

More, anon.
Prospero

The Web Has Lost Its Mind

What the...? It seems that embedded videos in all the blogs I regularly visit (including my own) have disappeared. Has Anonymous hacked YouTube? Has Vimeo been taken down by hackers? If so, to what end? I don't get it. I've even noticed that commenters have noticed. On Bits and Pieces, one commenter wrote: "The videos don't work! I broke the Internet!" 

Of course, as I write this post, the videos seem to have been restored. And I'm sure that whatever happened is my fault. I've finally met someone and am happy. There had to be a price to pay...

No, my self-esteem isn't quite that low. I know there was some weird technical glitch somewhere that was resolved by someone far more technically savvy than Uncle P (and trust me, it doesn't take much to be more technically savvy than me). Perhaps I can blame it on all the idiots I talked to today. No, I talk to idiots everyday - why should today be any different?

Personally, I don't care why or how what happened, happened. I'm just happy it seems to have resolved. And so my love/hate relationship with the World Wide Web continues unabated. We can all relax again and enjoy cat videos to our hearts' content:

Am I growing cynical? Man, I hope not.

Of course, ShareThis is still not working... (sigh...).

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest, Weirdest and Most Krampus-related Things You'll See This Week.

Five Dances (photo via)

I wanted to talk about several things today and couldn't decide which to focus on and decided to write about all of them. So here goes:

First up: This week's Gayest Thing is the new film from writer/director Alan Brown (Private Romeo, a flawed but admired Shakespearean adaptation set at a military school), a coming of age romance about a dancer (hottie Ryan Steele) finding and being himself in New York, Five Dances. I liked the idea behind his last film, but what little I saw didn't stick with me and I forgot all about until the trailer for Five Dances. Brown displayed some interesting ideas in the trailer for Private Romeo, if not all the skills to successfully bring them to fruition. But from the trailer below (via), it seems that Brown has learned a thing or two since then. Five Dances may turn out to the gay version of of every modern DanceMance* since 1982 or it could be the sappiest romantic drama since the insipid Love Story (a horribly manipulative movie!). Or it just might be a good movie. I'm hoping for the latter:

FIVE DANCES trailer from Alan Brown on Vimeo.

*I am hereby coining the term "DanceMance," used to refer to the sub-genre of romance films centered around dance. See: Footloose; Flash Dance; Step Up, etc., ad nauseum. Only you can spread it into the lexicon by using and sharing it.  Anyway, it looks pretty and there's plenty of eye candy for almost everyone's tastes.

"Your suffering will be legendary..."

Well... on to this week's Weirdest Thing, which is related to the above story by the most tenuous of links -- Dance. I would NOT call what I am about to share a DanceMance, by any stretch of the imagination. What it is, is a bizarre Horror movie mashup video known as "PINHEAD JASON Buffalo Bill DANCE?" The YouTube description says: "WARNING: Just another IDIOT ! doing a Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill DANCE ! because YouTube just doesn't have enough of those ? Song by Q LAZARUS" You don't need to watch very much to see everything he does over and over for the entire video, but the fact that someone thought to combine these three iconic Horror villains, is not just weird -- it is downright disturbing (may be NSFW, though no full nudity):

Dashing Through the Reich

Finally, I was going to review the mid-season finale of "The Walking Dead" tonight, but had too many distractions. But I also had a bit of holiday inspiration. I change my Facebook profile picture a lot. If you've seen Uncle P's profile pics here over the years, you know I like to keep them interesting and amusing. My previous profile picture was of Santa Cthulhu. Today I was reminded of Krampus (driving St. Nick's chopper there) and changed my pic to a rather festive rendering of the nasty, Germanic and Eastern European 'Anti-Clause,' who punishes bad children with beatings, dunkings and lumps of coal. Of course the message is "Don't be good to just get rewards, kids! Be good to avoid beatings from a demon!" Happy Holidays!!!! Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you aren't beaten and ass-raped by a Christmas monster from hell. Anyway... Good ole Krampus gave me an idea that has me a little psyched. No details yet, but I'll let you know what, when and if, anything comes of it.

More anon,
Prospero.

The Failed Obsession of a 'Grumpy Cat'

The Pre-Show Set of Iris

I know I just raved about Cirque du Soliel's Iris, but there's some sad news. Cirque announced yesterday on Facebook that Iris will be closing on January 19th, 2013 after almost 500 performances at Hollywood's Dolby Theatre. I'm really glad I got to see it when I did. As far as I know, Iris is the first and only 'permanent' Cirque show to close because "demand has not met projections." In other words: no one was going to see it. 

With so many less-expensive distractions in the heart of Hollywood; so many permanent shows in Vegas; so many touring shows and so many copycat competitors, Guy Laliberte's entertainment empire suffers it's first financial failure in the company's history. The night I saw Iris, a co-worker went to the box-office and got a seat for $40.00. It was in one of the upper balconies. I was in the fourth row. My ticket was considerably more. My ticket was also a planned expense and my early Christmas present to myself. It was also worth every penny, though I know that Many folks can't afford to spend on themselves in that way. Luckily, I have no spouse or family to support and can occasionally afford to splurge for a special event.

Cirque has also been posting on Facebook about low ticket prices for its Vegas shows, some of which have been running for almost 20 years. Have they over-saturated their own market or out-priced themselves? I'd say a little of both. Don't get me wrong. If I have the money to do so, I'll continue to attend their shows, though having the money to do so has become an increasingly rare thing.

 And in completely unrelated nonsense, "Grumpy Cat" has been revealed to be a cat with the misspelled name of 'Tardar Sauce.'  According to the "Today Show" clip embedded below, Tardar Sauce is anything but grumpy. They don't mention Tadar's breed(s), but her unhappy physiognomy is obviously genetic.  'Pet Parents' often ascribe anthropomorphic qualities to their furry companions. We can't seem to help ourselves. 

I blame Walt Disney, Chuck Jones, Friz Freling and Hannah and Barbera. No, not really. But I can rightfully say that they all contributed to and profited from how we view animals under certain contexts. Funny here, but disturbing under other circumstances. Do you think about Wilbur from Charlotte's Web or Babe when you eat bacon or pork chops? I certainly don't. (PETA would be having an aneurism over this post, if any of those far-left activists even read this blog. I like meat. Humans are omnivores - get over it!). Anyway, here's the clip:

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Studies have proven that owning pets lowers blood-pressure; reduces stress and increases longevity. I think I need another cat or dog, soon. Skye is adorable, but he doesn't exactly cuddle up in my lap for a good scratch.

More, anon.

Prospero

Old Timey Hotties, Triple Hobbits, Gay Rejection and Olympic Nonsense

Mihai Eminescu, age 19, 1860

I first found My Daguerreotype Boyfriend on Tumblr about a year or so ago. I completely forget where the link came from, but many of the photos (most from the late 1800's into the early 1900's) are intriguing, to say the least. I think I was most surprised at how many of the men featured there looked so modern. Granted, not every photo is a gem, but what you find attractive and what I find attractive won't always be the same. K and I are usually amazed when we find the same guy attractive, while my friend Laura and I rarely disagree (though the guy we usually find most attractive is also most likely to be the first to die in a horror movie - Tuc Watkins in The Mummy, for example).

Many of the guys featured on MDB are unnamed prisoners and Civil War soldiers, though there are plenty of portraits of famous men in their youth, like Teddy Roosevelt, Charlie Chaplin and Lionel Logue (the real speech therapist featured in The King's Speech). The blog also has a whole section dedicated to men from the past who look like stars from today. MDB is currently searching for photos of hot Olympians from 1896 - 1936. 

Now, as gorgeous as some of those men may be, I don't think they can compete with modern athletes like Phillip Boy or Jonathan Horton or Danell Levya. Of course, being the dirty old man I am, Uncle P is really only interested in seeing the Men's Gymnastics; Men's Swimming; Men's Diving and Greco-Roman Wrestling events. But honestly, that's always been the case for me, old or young.

And speaking of rings (wow - talk about stretching for a segue), director Peter Jackson has formally announced (via - among others) that The Hobbit will indeed be a trilogy. Seriously? I know it's been a very long time since I read Tolkien's "prequel" to The Lord of the Rings (I think I was 13) but I don't remember there being enough material to support three feature-length films. Or maybe I'm wrong. I do know that while I really liked reading the LOTR trilogy, I enjoyed The Hobbit a whole lot more. Personally, I just can't wait to see how Jackson imagines Smaug!

And finally, I initially missed the first video in this series, but Towleroad has posted these very amusing tutorials on dealing with rejection for gay men, by TipsForLife:

He's already got the whiskey and the gin - he might as well add vodka, rum, tequila, sweet and sour mix and Coke to make an LIT.  If you're going to drink, it should at least taste good, no? And honestly, no one knows more about gay rejection than yours truly... Oh, that sounded a little pathetic, didn't it? Trust me, I have had my share of acceptance, though the scales do seem to have been tipped in the other direction. Not that I'm complaining... (well, maybe just a little).

More, anon.

Prospero

Hellboy's Heart and Other Good News

Via Spectral Motion

It was a beautiful day (finally) in the Northeast and I wanted to talk about things that are making me feel at least a little better about the world, so here we go. 

The last celebrity story I remember reading about the Make-a-Wish foundation, involved Food Network's Evil Hamptons Ho, Ina Garten and her denial of a child's request to spend an afternoon cooking with her. F*ck you, Ina! This first part of tonight's post is about one celebrity who really went all out to make a kid's wish come true (Get out your tissues for this one).

Zachary's dream was to meet and be his favorite superhero, Hellboy, played in two pretty great Guillermo Del Toro movies (both of which begin in the most hilariously unlikely and inaccurate version of Trenton, NJ as only Del Toro could imagine) by beloved genre actor, Ron Perlman. To make Zachary's wish come true, Perlman spent hours in makeup to become Hellboy and spend the day with the boy. Then his makeup team turned Zachary into a young Hellboy. How awesome is Ron Perlman, folks? Suck it, Ina. I don't care how many gay friends you pretend to have, you're a terrible person.

You can link to Spectral Motion's Facebook page album at the link in the photo caption. Kudos, Mr. Perlman (as if we needed yet another reason to love you!).

And now on to another site I (and everyone else in the world) visit frequently, YouTube. Do you ever get sucked into the comments people make on some videos? Do you hate them, but still somehow get baited into responding to the trolls? Well then, the brainy zombies over at BoingBoing have the answer you may well be seeking. Herp Derp is a free browser extension that converts all YouTube comments to "herp derp herp herp derp." I trust the folks at BoingBoing - their reputation is without question and the thing works beautifully.  If you HAVE to see a comment, you can click on it. I found it funny and even though I rarely read YouTube comments, I downloaded it for fun. 

And now for something completely gay. Via The Accidental Bear (site may be NSFW), here are porn-star Conner Habib and 'psycho musician' Christeene giving advice to a guy whose boyfriend is ashamed of the commercialization of Pride. It's perfectly weird, funny, gay and actually offers two valid opinions.And it's safe for work at inclusive companies. I'm going to try and embed the clip, but AB seemed to have some issues and so I'm going to add the same link that he did to the original at NewNowNext if you have a problem viewing it here.

Get More: Watch Reality TV, Video and Movies, Logo TV

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Ad You'll See This Week ( Probably NSFW Version)

Advertising in the age of the Internet has become very specific. On-line commercials and ads are targeted to to all sorts of people with all sorts of interests. Just look at the ads on your Facebook timeline. Even TV advertising has gotten more and more specific.

Los Angeles designer John Saint-Denis is known for his line of home furnishings, marketed toward upscale gay men with lots of readily disposable income (i.e. NOT Uncle P - my income has become less and less disposable, lately, Hell, I'm lucky if I get to see a new movie in a theater every couple of months, anymore). 

Anyway, Saint-Denis has a new line of 'masculine' candles and has commissioned the video below to sell them to gay men who have more money than brains. I first came across this video today at Kenneth in the (212) and again on Towleroad. I was at the Day Job and thought I should probably wait to view it until I got home. While there isn't anything particularly risque about it (a bare bum is as racy as it gets), you may not want to view it at work, either.

In any event, the depiction of rich, hunky guys living in palazzos may convince some morons to buy these over-priced  ($45.00 each!!) candles. Truth be told, Uncle P (and just about anyone else) can get just as romantic with a couple dozen tea-lights from the Dollar Store. Bitch, please...

If you have purchased these or any other similarly priced candles, I urge to get your priorities straight and use that money instead to help feed starving children in the Appalachians; support AIDS and/or Equality charities; raise awareness about human rights or just go take the oven, because you have no idea what it means to be a decent human being. 

Ooh... did I really just write that? Yes. Yes, I did.

What the hell is wrong with people who think a jar of scented wax is worth $45.00? $45.00 barely fills my gas tank and some asshat designer thinks a scented candle with his name on it is worth that much? If there is a hell, John Saint-Denis (and anyone who spends $45.00 for one of his candles) has a very special hot wax seat waiting for him there.

More, anon.

Prospero

It's Baaa-aack!

Nick Cannon, Howard Stern, Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandel

When NBC announced that Howard Stern was going to replace Piers Morgan as a judge on "America's Got Talent," I nearly gave up on the one 'reality' show I do watch. Now in it's 7th season, AGT has brought us some amazing performers over the years, despite the seemingly revolving door of hosts (Regis Philbin, Jerry Springer and Nick Cannon) and judges (David Hasselhoff, Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan, Howie Mandel and now Stern). 

Back in the '80's, when I listened to Stern's local New York broadcasts on FM radio, I often found him amusing. As he grew and went national, I started to find him rude and obnoxious. I never thought "Bababooie" was funny and thought Robin Quivers was little more than a "Yes Woman." By the time Stern moved on to satellite radio, I was completely over him. I was actually sort of angry that NBC thought he could succeed the sophisticated Morgan, who was often the only voice of reason among the show's judges, even if he was perceived as the 'mean' judge. Morgan's critiques, while sometimes harsh, were usually right.

So it was with trepidation that I finally watched the first four hours of auditions last night and tonight and I have to admit that I was wrong about Stern. Oh, he's still a pompous ass, but so far he has managed to be kind and compassionate judge, doling out his opinions without being cruel or derogatory (unlike Morgan, who was often downright mean to the hopeful wannabes). He even gave a second chance to one contestant, who (on his second attempt) proved to be an excellent operatic singer. I'm glad I continued to watch and even happier that Stern managed to change my mind about his ability to be subjective. 

It's also nice to see young Nick Cannon come into his own as the show's host. Personable, funny and adorable, Mr. Mariah Carey continues to prove himself a likeable host who can empathize with the contestants and their families while maintaining the often huge live audiences at the show's various audition venues. After over coming a bout with Lupus, Cannon is still professional, energetic and just silly enough to be likeable.

All that having been said, in the first four hours of auditions, only one act among those sent through to Vegas so far has caught my attention as a potential winner. There has yet to be a Barbara Padilla; Prince Poppycock; Jackie Evancho or Landau Murphy this season. But it's very early and there are many acts yet to be seen.

The one performer who did grab my attention, street dancer/contortionist Alonzo Jones (AKA 'Turf') has great potential. The opening moves at his audition were amazing and it appeared as though he was actually floating across the stage. The control and coordination required to make that happen are the result of the formerly homeless dancer's untiring dedication to his craft and he supplied the first real "Wow!" moment of the season so far:

Other highlights for me:

Speed-painter David Garibaldi and his CMYK dancers:



Father/Daughter team Maurice and Shanice Hayes:



Instrument designer William Close:

and Light Wire Theatre, who managed to take an act we've seen on AGT twice before and elevate it to another level:

Of course, there have already been some truly dreadful acts:

Personally, I'm still waiting for an act that both excites and inspires me as much as 2010 contestant Prince Poppycock:

I can't wait to see what the rest of this season's AGT has to bring us. It's vaudeville, burlesque, variety and theatre all rolled up into one insane and very entertaining show. If you aren't watching AGT, you are missing out on the summer's single most entertaining program. Whether it's a train wreck or a potential million-dollar act, AGT never fails to provide something to talk about at the water cooler.

More, anon.
Prospero