How Does It Begin, Clarice?

Porcelain Minnie Castavet and Rosemary Woodhouse

I find it rather hard to believe that Rosemary's Baby has never appeared on any Top Ten list I've ever done. Or has it? If not, it certainly should have been on just about every one of them (maybe not musicals, though I don't think I've done a Top Ten of those, yet). 

Think what you will about Roman Polanski, he's never been shy about delving into the darker sides of life. Based on Ira Levin's novel, the movie was a sensation when it was released in 1968 and rightfully so. Perfectly cast with some of the best actors of the era (and possibly of all time) and both wittily and creepily directed, Rosemary's Baby taps into so many Psycho-Religious-Paranoid-Horrifying things all at once, that it takes multiple viewings to fully appreciate it's brilliance, even 43 years after it was first released. Ruth Gordon rightfully won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress as Minnie Castavet, the push,y elderly Satanist with a heart of coal. Mia Farrow got an infamous haircut and divorced Sinatra while making the movie.  And there are some amazing appearances from classic character actors Ralph Bellamy, Maurice Evans, Charles Grodin and Elisha Cook, Jr; as well as uncredited walk-ons/voice-overs from William Castle and Tony Curtis. 

A very amusing, anonymous Facebook friend (once known as Magnolia Thunderpussy but now going by Hilda Swandumper after the geniuses at Facebook realized Maggie T wasn't a real name) posted the photo above to a mutual friend's timeline. And I immediately coveted...

I reposted it, saying that anyone who bought me the Minnie Castavet doll would get me as a slave for one week a year for 10 years or 50 Saturdays, not to exceed two in a row. And I mean it. Yes, I have lots of 'stupid' things. I have both Mulder and Scully action figures; a Locutus action figure; a Frank-N-Furter action figure; a Norman Bates action figure; a remote controlled zombie; a zombie teddy bear and other assorted toys. But I would gladly give up a third of my collection to own a doll modeled after Ruth Gordon as Minnie Castavet. Of course, the two dolls are undoubtedly a set, though I hope the obviously inferior Mia Farrow as Rosemary doll doesn't decrease the value...

The true movie lunatics out there know exactly what I mean.

Genius.

More, anon.
Prospero

These Were a Few of My Favorite Things

"You Can Put Your Weed in It"

My friends and family know me so well. The image to your left is of the very Steampunk Trinket Box given to me by Q, K and Dale, along with  a brain-shaped ice-cube tray and a set of Farm Animal Butt Magnets. Other than making me laugh, the ice tray and magnets had nothing to do with the very cool trinket box (it has a compass on the lid!). I still love them all.

Of course, my sister was just as successful in her Holiday plotting. Along with her annual Jack Skellington T-shirt. my sister sent me a Box-O'-Zombie stuff which included a metal Zombie Warning Sign; two different Zombie decals; a "Zombie On Board" magnet and an "I Heart Zombies" keychain. She also sent along a "Box of Boogers" gummies; an AMC gift card and a super-insulated Batman tumbler.

Sis Knows Me Well

I really love how the colors of her three very different gifts go so well together in that picture of them beneath my tiny tree and atop my cable box and D's Christmas gift. I also got a terrific set of Skullcandy earbuds; a car charger for my Smartphone; lots of much-needed new socks and underwear; an outstanding sonic toothbrush; a pair of extendable, bendable, magnetic LED flashlights and 3 jars of the most delicious mixed nuts and dried fruit I've ever tasted. 

And while I mostly bought it for Mom, the big hit this year was the new Keurig Platinum coffee maker (which I got for a deal I couldn't pass up). Mom loves how fast and easy it is. I also bought it for myself, so I don't have to clean four separate elements of a self-grinding coffee-maker every night. Initially disappointed that my sister didn't send her usual 5 Lb bag of coffee beans, Mom quickly got over it when she finally opened the K-Cups Sis sent, instead.

I still have at least two gift exchanges to go (hopefully the weather will cooperate this coming Saturday) and D and I will get to see a matinee and exchange before I have to go back to the Day Job.

The holidays for me are always much more about giving, though I am always thrilled when my friends and family know me well enough to give me stuff is both useful and makes me laugh.

Happily, no one I know got either of these, this year:

What were your favorite holiday gifts this year?

More, anon.
Prospero

Christmas Crafts , Early Presents and Ridiculously Hunky Greeks.

I just couldn't wait to give my sweet, sick little Mia her Christmas present this year: the custom 'ZomBarbie' you see to your left. I actually wanted to make this for her for her birthday, but ran out of time. In fact, I was worried I wouldn't have the time to do it for Christmas. But once I got started on it, it went rather quickly. The hardest part was severing Barbie's arm. I used my heavy-duty crafting clippers and it still took several tries from a few different angles to get it, but I think the mangled stump turned out quite well. And the smear on the box's plastic (the result of not-quite-dry paint) was a rather happy accident.

Now, before you think we're both completely insane (as if you don't already), one of the things my co-worker and I bonded on immediately was our love of the zombie genre. And my regular readers know how much I loves me some good zombie-related content. And Mia, a lover of Batman comics and Zombie movies, recognized a kindred soul as soon as we met. Of course, our fellow co-workers think we're absolutely bonkers (and perhaps we are), but they understand (or at least pretend to) our special relationship. And honestly, what else do a gay man of a certain age and 20+ years younger straight woman have to bond about? (Don't answer that question, thank you.)

Mia made me the amazing Teddy-Z a few years ago, and has warned me that her forthcoming gift to me may well cement out reputations as the office loonies (I can't wait to see what she's planning), but I don't care.

And honestly, there is something quite cathartic about turning an American Icon into its antithesis. All I really cared about was making a friend happy at Christmas. Mia's exceptionally enthusiastic response (she immediately posted this picture of it on Facebook) to her gift was well worth the effort it took to make it.

And now, on to the completely unrelated second half of this post. 

While I still haven't seen last year's critically reviled remake of Clash of the Titans, I must admit to being quite excited by the trailer for its completely unnecessary sequel Wrath of the Titans. Do Liam Neesom, Ralph Fiennes and Sam Worthintgton really need the money? I neither know nor care, I just want to see how ridiculous this movie might be.

And how many films need to use Marilyn Manson's cover of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" in their trailers? As my friend Megan is wont to say, "Que Queso!"

More, anon.
Prospero

Zombetsy

Via

If you look at the list of blogs Uncle P reads regularly, you find a link to April Winchell's hilarious site, Regretsy. April pokes fun at some of the nonsense that goes on over at Etsy, a site for crafters and makers to sell their wares. She's particularly good at pointing out frauds and re-sellers, but is best at pointing out some of really ridiculous crap people try to sell on the site.

But Etsy actually does have some true artists who make and sell some lovely and interesting things. Today, my zombie-loving co-worker Mia sent me a link to a zombie item on Etsy and I suddenly found myself exploring page after page of items Etsy has liked to the word "zombies." And while I was going to post about the Halloween re-release of Lucio Fulci's Zombie (I'll do that tomorrow), I thought I'd share some of the amusing and disturbing items I found there. So, without further ado, here's a sampling of the zombie-related items I liked best on Etsy:

A Perfect Spaghetti Plate

Zombies Wobble But They Don't Fall Down

This Is Based on the 'Residental Evil' Movies

Wanna Ride?

Hello Dolly?

I'd Post This Sign

A T-Shirt

I'd Actually Wear This One

A Laptop Decal

When Did They Visit Uncle P's Garden?

How Romantic!

 Of course, there are lots and lots of zombie Evil You Know What things available, but I didn't post any pictures of them in deference to Dear D, my sister and Mia, herself -- all coulrophobic zombie-lovers.

If you visit Etsy, there are also many wonderful non-zombie items for sale, as well. Remember, there are only 74 shopping days until Christmas...

More, anon.

Prospero

Opening Night Nonsense

So, tonight is Top Girls opening night and we're still looking for a few small props. Our producer headed out to the Dollar Store today in search of brandy snifters. She didn't find them, but did come across the inexplicable item in the photo your right, which she snapped with her phone and immediately shared with me and the cast. But I have to know, what the hell is it?

It appears to be the last one, which says to me that several people plunked down their hard-earned dollar and bought one of these, whatever they are. I guess its a toy, but it seems incomplete. And is it a dinosaur? An alien? Jar Jar Binks' disabled cousin? I mean really... What the hell is it? Any ideas?

Anyway, Uncle P is in the midst of a change-of-season sinus infection, making what should be a terrific day, a miserable one. I'm loaded up on decongestants and pain relievers and hoping that Opening Night adrenaline will kick in and make me forget about it by curtain, tonight.

If you know what that thing is, or have a funny idea of what it might be, let me know. 

More, anon.
Prospero

The Stupidest Movie of the Year

When I was a kid, G.I. Joe was a 12" tall, fully posable doll with flocked hair and "Kung-Fu" grip. He came with all kinds of accessories like Jeeps and rifles and was even sold in "Adventure Packs" Joe was big enough to date Barbie (though in my house, he was more likely to dump her for Ken, much to my younger sister's bewilderment). Joe's enemies were whoever the U.S. was at war with at the time. And if we weren't at war, he was out digging up mummies and rescuing people from dangerous situations.

Nowadays, G.I. Joe is a tiny, 3" piece of plastic. He's less posable and has even more accessories. They even have different names. G.I. Joe is no longer a character, but a group of mercenaries fighting an evil, Bond-like organization called "C.O.B.R.A." (an acronym which I am sure stands for something, though I have no idea what).

In two weeks, the geniuses who run Hollywood are releasing the latest in toy-inspired movies: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I just caught the latest trailer over at i09 and I have to ask, does anyone else think this is going to be the dumbest big-budget movie ever? Bad enough we now have two Transformers movies. Now this drek:

What saddens me most is that the target audience for this movie (boys 14 to 21) will eat it up and it will make gazillions of dollars, thereby ensuring an inevitable and even stupider sequel. Gah! No wonder I haven't been to the movies much this summer.

More, anon.

Prospero