Romeo & Julian, an Amazing Juggler and Some Zombies Walk Into a Blog...

No one will better appreciate that title than my sister, I'm sorry to say. She will find it particularly hilarious, in fact. In just the way that many of the things we share as hilarious, are specifically hilarious to the two of us, only (though Q shares our love of and many of the same specific moments from a very popular series of classic short comedies which we all grew up watching on UHF - and no, that's not a channel - shut up, I'm old!).

As you can probably tell from that rather insane intro, Uncle P has had a fairly stressful week, leaving me at less than my usually focused (haha) self. There are several factors working to make me rather scattered (which I won't go into other than to say one is personal and one is artistic) and I have lots of things I want to talk about (For example: Why do I type "talk" when I am obviously writing?) Anyway, trying to retain some semblance of sanity (cue: Nelson Muntz) I suppose I should start in order then, yes? So first up was...

Romeo and Julian, it is. Out in the Dark is a love story about a Palestinian student and an Israeli doctor. Since premiering earlier this year at the Toronto Film Festival, Out in the Dark has since won several other film-fest awards. Daring and controversial? Hardly. Original and groundbreaking? Just the gay version of one of the oldest plots in history. All that having been said, the trailer is pretty amazing and it gives me hope that the film just might have something new to say about the old tropes and stereotypes which have permeated LGBTQ cinema for the past decade. Or not. Or it could just be another bad romantic thriller... What do you think?

I believe an Amazing Juggler was next, was it not? With only 500,000 views since it was first loaded back in 2009, I suspect the below video of juggler Alexander Koblikov is about to explode. I first saw it today on Facebook, but don't remember who posted it (if it was you, let me know). I've always been a fan of Variety and Circus Arts (I had a college acting professor who held his PhD in those very fields) and regular readers certainly know at least one of my obsessions by now. When I shared it on Facebook, a few friends commented on the fact that Koblikov never smiles throughout his admittedly jaw-dropping performance. On further review, it's apparent why he's not smiling: He's demonstrating a skill which he's obviously spent his entire life developing, rather than just 'showing off.' It's a deliberate and justified choice.

Which leaves us with Zombies, Last but certainly never least. Season 4 of the phenomenon that is AMC's "The Walking Dead" is just about 2 weeks away and fans like Uncle P and my sister are jonesing pretty bad. The first clip I'm sharing has been around (I may well have shared it before), but my dear Patrick in Chicago shared it with me today, and it's just hilarious, every time I see it. Drreeet!

This next video is one I hadn't seen before, as well. They are calling it the 'Season 4 Extended Trailer - New Footage" but the Comicon trailer was longer. They should have just said 'New Footage' or 'Trailer 2'

"Things are only going to get worse." Yup.

Shocktober is just a few days away. I won't promise 31 posts in a row this year (though don't be surprised if I try) but if I come up with a really great theme, I just might. And you can help. Leave me a comment with your idea for my Shocktober 2013 Theme.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest & Most Super Things You'll See This Week

Henry Cavill in Man of Steel

Before anyone says or assumes anything, this post is not meant to imply actor Henry Cavill is gay. His picture here is part of the 'Super' section of the post (and the 'Hot' label).

I will admit that I have been a little less than kind when it comes to director Zak Snyder's Man of Steel, Warner Brothers and DC's most recent reboot of the Superman franchise. Cavill seemed an odd choice at first, though I will be the first to admit he is gorgeous. And he's obviously buffed up since his days on "The Tudors." I saw the teaser a few months ago and grew even more dubious. But today I came across the latest trailer for Snyder's version (produced by Christopher Nolan) and it may well have changed my mind, despite the presence of the truly terrible Kevin Costner and the enormously douchey Russell Crowe. I may be late when it comes to posting this trailer, but it was new to me, today:

Moving on to truly gay stuff, James Franco has been teasing and titillating gay fans for years with his is-he-or-isn't-he? schtick. Franco recently teamed up with very gay filmmaker Travis Matthews for Interior. Leather Bar, a film which imagines what went on during the filming of the infamous 40 minute scene which was cut (and subsequently lost) from William Friedkin's polarizing 1980 film Crusing, which starred Al Pacino as a cop going undercover into the gay leather scene to catch a serial killer. I saw Cruising with the same BF who introduced me to YES. We found it depressing and decidedly unsexy. It doesn't look as if Franco and Matthews have done anything to change my opinion of that film with theirs. Trailer may be NSFW:

Hmmm.... Whatever his sexuality, Franco continues to garner a reputation as a provocateur, at the very least. 

And in a very odd segue, linking yesterday's musical post and today's Gayest Thing post, here's the latest from recording artist Aiden James. 'Hurry, Hurry' is a delightfully catchy tune and the video features scruffy cutie James singing to his muscle bear sweetheart, while waiting to meet up in the Times Square subway station:

I've added Aiden's latest CD ('Trouble with This') to my Amazon wish-list. My birthday is only 6 months away....

More, anon.
Prospero

Living Historically.

Larry Duncan and Randy Shepherd

Yes, this picture has gone viral and it will no doubt take it's place among the most iconic images of modern history. As Larry and Randy raise their hands in the first oath of their impending marriage, I say: "Congratulations, guys! Oh - and thank you for furthering the smashing of stereotypes! Seriously though - where are you registered?"

One of my favorite, sappy gay romcom's is 2000's Big Eden, starring Ayre Gross; Tim Dekay (the third biggest star with whom I've had a personal conversation); the always wonderful Louise Fletcher and Eric Schweig (best known for Ron Howard's dark Western The Missing). Set in the most progressive small town in the world (when the local matchmaker realizes her mistake, she immediately arranges a boys-only party to introduce the prodigal protagonist to potential partners*), Big Eden works so well because of the actors' commitment the story. Everyone in Big Eden knows with whom Henry (Gross) belongs, even if Henry doesn't. A sort of sideways Cinderfella story filled with quirky characters; absurdest situations and the creakiest of creaky old rom-com endings, it makes this sentimental old fool cry every time I see it.

*Say that three times, fast.

Damn! I've been living in the wrong part of the country this whole time! My Post-Bohemian friend Stephen has lived (and has loved living in) the Pacific Northwest for quite some time. He and 'The Husband' have the kind eclectic and comfortable home towards which I aspire. I can't say I'm surprised by the legalization of personal recreational marijuana and marriage equality in Washington. I'm glad to be alive to see it, though.

I used to be surprised to think about all the things my grandmother saw over the course of her life and how different things must have been for her after 80+ years. Now, of course, I think about all the things I've seen over the course of my life and how different things are for me. I was alive but too young to appreciate the assassinations of JFK, MLK and RFK, but I saw Vietnam; Woodstock; the Moon Landing; the Manson Family murders; Stonewall; the opening of China; the resignation of Nixon; the Iran Hostage Crisis; the assassination attempts on both Ford and Reagan; the Challenger explosion; the fall of the Berlin Wall; the introduction of the VCR, compact disc, home computer (I'm on my 7th? since the 90's) and DVR; both the building of the World Trade Center and it's destruction at the hands of fanatical madmen; the rise and fall of dictators; fads, crazes and wacky fashion; the creation of the Internet, Email, Facebook and Twitter; the cell phone, Blackberry & Smart phone; the South Asian Tsunami; laptops, Katrina; tablets & touch screens; rebellions in the Middle East & Northern Africa; Sandy and the two-term election of our first African-American POTUS -- who just so also happens to be the first sitting POTUS to openly support Marriage Equality. 

I know I'm missing some important events over the last (REDACTED) years. I'm just happy that I have a way to record my personal experience during my visit through history. Will any of it matter, 20 or 30,000 years from now? I doubt it. But I am enjoying myself while here. I feel bad for the folks who came before and both jealous of and sad for those who will come after. If we get our shit together, the future of humanity is limitless. I truly hope we get our shit together. I'd like for all of us to around to witness a whole lot more history.

Of course, life has a way of humbling. I pride myself on being an alum of the #1 High School Theatre program in the U.S. The soon to retire Louis Volpe is one of the most influential teachers I've ever had. He was invited to create the High School versions of Les Miserables and was the first adult to tell a 17 year-old Uncle P that being gay wasn't the end of the world. The humbling is embedded below, as the cast of a high school production of Les Miz equates itself with this year's most annoyingly intrusive pop song:

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest, Weirdest and Most Krampus-related Things You'll See This Week.

Five Dances (photo via)

I wanted to talk about several things today and couldn't decide which to focus on and decided to write about all of them. So here goes:

First up: This week's Gayest Thing is the new film from writer/director Alan Brown (Private Romeo, a flawed but admired Shakespearean adaptation set at a military school), a coming of age romance about a dancer (hottie Ryan Steele) finding and being himself in New York, Five Dances. I liked the idea behind his last film, but what little I saw didn't stick with me and I forgot all about until the trailer for Five Dances. Brown displayed some interesting ideas in the trailer for Private Romeo, if not all the skills to successfully bring them to fruition. But from the trailer below (via), it seems that Brown has learned a thing or two since then. Five Dances may turn out to the gay version of of every modern DanceMance* since 1982 or it could be the sappiest romantic drama since the insipid Love Story (a horribly manipulative movie!). Or it just might be a good movie. I'm hoping for the latter:

FIVE DANCES trailer from Alan Brown on Vimeo.

*I am hereby coining the term "DanceMance," used to refer to the sub-genre of romance films centered around dance. See: Footloose; Flash Dance; Step Up, etc., ad nauseum. Only you can spread it into the lexicon by using and sharing it.  Anyway, it looks pretty and there's plenty of eye candy for almost everyone's tastes.

"Your suffering will be legendary..."

Well... on to this week's Weirdest Thing, which is related to the above story by the most tenuous of links -- Dance. I would NOT call what I am about to share a DanceMance, by any stretch of the imagination. What it is, is a bizarre Horror movie mashup video known as "PINHEAD JASON Buffalo Bill DANCE?" The YouTube description says: "WARNING: Just another IDIOT ! doing a Silence of the Lambs Buffalo Bill DANCE ! because YouTube just doesn't have enough of those ? Song by Q LAZARUS" You don't need to watch very much to see everything he does over and over for the entire video, but the fact that someone thought to combine these three iconic Horror villains, is not just weird -- it is downright disturbing (may be NSFW, though no full nudity):

Dashing Through the Reich

Finally, I was going to review the mid-season finale of "The Walking Dead" tonight, but had too many distractions. But I also had a bit of holiday inspiration. I change my Facebook profile picture a lot. If you've seen Uncle P's profile pics here over the years, you know I like to keep them interesting and amusing. My previous profile picture was of Santa Cthulhu. Today I was reminded of Krampus (driving St. Nick's chopper there) and changed my pic to a rather festive rendering of the nasty, Germanic and Eastern European 'Anti-Clause,' who punishes bad children with beatings, dunkings and lumps of coal. Of course the message is "Don't be good to just get rewards, kids! Be good to avoid beatings from a demon!" Happy Holidays!!!! Merry Christmas!!!! I hope you aren't beaten and ass-raped by a Christmas monster from hell. Anyway... Good ole Krampus gave me an idea that has me a little psyched. No details yet, but I'll let you know what, when and if, anything comes of it.

More anon,
Prospero.

Happy Pride Month

I'm Proud to Be a Gay American

June is LGBT Pride Month here in the States. There are parades and events in every major city and many smaller ones. Pride is one of the reasons the JTMF has our gala in June. 

As someone who came of age in 1970's (I keep telling you that I'm old), I am pleased and surprised that we've finally started to reach a place in the U.S. that I honestly never thought I'd see in my lifetime. There are gay characters on television who aren't just there as jokes; support for LGBT rights are at all-time high and our President has officially voiced his support of same-sex marriage. In fact, every straight person I know supports Marriage Equality (and I know a lot of straight people). 

That's not to say we don't still have a long way to go. Right-wing, conservative Evangelicals keep using antiquated passages from the Old Testament to spout hate and discrimination; three year-olds are taught songs about hating 'homos;' so-called 'Men of God' espouse violence against gay people; the Catholic Church continues to cover-up pedophilia amongst its priests while preaching anti-gay rhetoric and 'One Million Moms' promote boycotts against gay-friendly businesses like J.C. Penny and DC Comics. Anti-gay hate groups like Focus on the Family and NOM continue to cite discredited junk science and recanted studies in an effort to deny LGBT people basic human rights and don't even get me started on the loons at Westboro Baptist Church. Repugnican politicians promote hate and the (probably gay) husband of a former Presidential candidate still practices "reparative therapy," a pseudo-science rejected by every legitimate medical and psychological organization in the country. It truly and deeply saddens me that so many people still live in fear and ignorance in the 21st Century.

But that's not what this post is really about. It's about how far we have come in making our voices heard, teaching people that we are not to be feared and letting the world know that we will not be marginalized or forced back into the closets from which we have fought so hard to break free. 43 years after the infamous Stonewall Riots of 1969, Lesbian; Gay; Bisexual; Transgendered and Questioning people are finally starting to be recognized as real human beings, rather than second-class citizens and I actually have hope that I will live to see true Equality in this country in my lifetime. And that's a very good thing.

At the risk of repeating myself, here are some of my favorite gay flash-mobs, music videos and movie trailers:

We're here! We're Queer! Get over it! Someday, we won't need to chant that anymore...

I know I have readers from all over the world (I see your hits on that spinning globe to your left). If you live in a country (like Canada) that has embraced LGBTQ people as equals, you are a step ahead of U.S. on the evolutionary scale. If you live in a country where being gay is still a criminal offense, my heart goes out to you. If you live in the U.S. I urge you to write, email and/or visit your local representatives to demand the equality promised to all Americans by our Constitution. We may not be there yet, but the louder our voices, the more we'll be heard.We will get there. And soon.

OK - I'm off my high-horse again. Now go out and celebrate Pride Month. I know I will.

More, anon.

Prospero

Why Did I Not Know This Existed?

Thomas Jane is a ruggedly handsome actor I first remember seeing in the ridiculous "smart shark" movie Deep Blue Sea, in which Samuel L. Jackson famously gets eaten alive while delivering what should have been the movie's "Saint Crispin's Day Speech." Jane can also can be seen in Magnolia; Dreamcatcher; The Punisher and Frank Darabont's stunning adaptation of Stephen King's The Mist, among others. Currently, he can be seen as well-endowed gigolo Ray Drecker on HBO's "Hung."

But in 1998, he starred along with Vincent D'Onofrio in The Velocity of Gary (Not His Real Name), playing Gary, the boyfriend of a former porn star (D'Onofrio) who is dying of AIDS. 

I bring this up because Jane recently commented (with tongue firmly in cheek) that if his "Hung" character had oral sex with another man, it would be his last episode. Many in the LGBT community were outraged. Jane responded (via) that he was obviously joking and reminded folks that he and D'Onofrio shared one of the longest and (IMHO) hottest gay screen kisses in history, in The Velocity of Gary...

Now, as much as I love movies; as much as I love outre and oddball movies; as much as I love edgy, experimental films and as much as I love queer cinema, I have no idea why I have never heard of this movie until today. And shame on me for it. I do know that I have to find a copy of it ASAP. Damn!

More, anon.

Prospero

Alien Hand Syndrome?

A dearth of anything truly interesting to say combined with a particularly nasty bout of Seasonal Affective Disorder have left your Uncle P in a rather dour mood of late.

I'm still keeping my Dream Journal though, and hope that my most recent bizarro dream about Alien Hands (don't ask, just yet) will result in another full-fledged screenplay, though I have to wonder where that particular scenario might lead. The dream itself involved dismembered alien hands that turned into feet which grew legs that developed into a torso... And no, I didn't eat anything strange, spicy or greasy before bed last night. I'd detail the entire dream here, but I don't want to risk your thinking I'm completely insane (as if you don't already think that, anyway).

I am still feeling rather trapped by snow (and not at all happy to hear that another major storm may be headed our way this coming week), despite having done some grocery shopping today (parking was a literal nightmare, thanks to the 8+ feet high piles of snow in the stores' parking lots). Give me a day or so to cope and I'll be back to my usual shenanigans. Or not.

In the meantime, I encourage the less squeamish among you to check out Bugcrush, a short, gay-themed horror film from 2006. Suggested by J.A. at My New Plaid Pants and posted on Post-Mortem Depression, this short (31 minutes) but effective film captures gay teen angst in a way that few modern filmmakers have been been to do. It's also probably NSFW.

Bear with me. Spring is just around the corner. 

More, anon.
Prospro

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

First of all, I must send out massive congratulations to my angel Matty, who today set a new Guinness World Record for longest continuous kiss. Matty and his friend Bobby kissed for 33 hours straight (no pun intended). This marks the first time that the record has been set by a same sex couple. I am so very proud of him.

You can read all about it here on Towleroad. There's already been talk of the boys appearing on "Ellen," though I'll believe that when I see it. Matty appeared in the JTMF production of The Most Fabulous Story Ever Told, was Assistant Stage Manager for Sordid Lives and will be seen next June in the JTMF production of Die Mommy, Die! 

And thanks to my dear Stephen in Portland, comes the trailer for the gay romantic comedy* Bear Country City, in selected cities now and available on DVD in December. As a big ole bear (and bear aficionado) myself, Uncle P is really looking forward to seeing this one. Trailer may be NSFW:

*I look forward to the day when I no longer have to qualify a romantic comedy as 'gay.'

Okay - I'm off to (hopefully) finish the sound plot for Top Girls. We open Thursday, so I may be quiet (well, online, at least) for a few days. Wish me broken legs. 

More, anon.
Prospero

(Updated on 9/20)

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week

Uncle P is usually disdainful when it comes to so-called "reality TV," but my one guilty pleasure is NBC's "America's Got Talent." Anyone, of any age and with any talent can audition. Over the past 5 seasons it's been on, we've seen some pretty outrageous performances from some really outrageous performers.

Of course, none of them have been as nearly outrageous as the enormously talented Prince Poppycock (nee John Quale), who performs in over-the-top costumes and makeup. As regular readers know, Poppycock has been my favorite from his very first audition, when he performed an excerpt of "Largo al factotum" from The Barber of Seville. The openly gay performer is part opera singer, part actor and part performance artist. This week, he once again wowed the audience and the judges with his over-the-top performance:

Honestly, who else can go from Rossini to Verdi to Mercury to Cohan to Sousa, so outrageously and so entertainingly? Because I'm in rehearsal for Top Girls, I don't get to see AGT in real time and must rely on my DVR to watch it. But each time he performs, Poppycock reminds me of why I got into show business in the first place - to entertain. If he doesn't win, I'll be sorely disappointed. But I'll be glad to know that he certainly has a huge a career ahead of him. I can't wait to see the results from this week's voting - and if you already know, please don't spoil it for me. And if he does make it into the Top 4 (of which I have no doubt), take a few minutes and vote for him next week. Almost nothing would make me happier than to see him win. Seriously, wouldn't it be great to have an openly gay AGT winner?

From reality to fiction:

I recently discovered the upcoming TLA movie, Is It Just Me? A sort of gay version of Cyrano, the movie is about an average-looking guy who meets the man of his dreams online, using his hunky roommate's photo on his profile. Starring Nicholas Downs, cutie-pie David Loren and hunky Adam Huss, Is It Just Me? explores the differences between the guys who are looking to just hook up and those of us who are looking for "True Love,' whatever that means:

Maybe my idea for a gay adaptation of Aida isn't so crazy, after all. Hell, I might even convince Poppycock to play the title role...

Oh, crap! Okay, all you potential gay screenwriting rivals out there -- gay Aida was my idea first. No stealing, jerks! Love you! Mwah!

More, anon.

Prospero

That's So Gay

Here's my question... If being gay is a choice, then why on Earth would anyone deliberately chose to be a member if the single most hated minority on the planet? Does that make sense to anyone?

"Yes, I'm gay. I want to be hated, persecuted, executed and beaten-up by straight people. I want my lifestyle to be judged by people who know nothing about me or the people with whom I choose to associate. I want you to tell me that the person I love is the wrong person to love. Tell me that God hates me because I'm gay, but loves me if I repent. I am evil because I love someone and want to express that love through sex. I am 'less than' because my love doesn't produce children who will go on to give money to a church that says I am evil." Yikes! What the hell is wrong with you people?

To date, I have 82 posts with the label "Gay;" 28 with the label "LGBT;" 53 with the label "The Gayest Thing;" 18 with the label "GLBT;" 16 with the label "Marriage Equality;" 5 with the label "Homophobia and 4 each with the labels "Gay Cinema" and "Coming Out." Of course, many of those cross-over.

So here's the thing:

Homosexuality is something that appears again and again in the animal kingdom (don't ask me to cite examples - there are far too many) and has been a part of human sexuality ever since the existence of humans. Of course, the Religious Right (which I continue to maintain is neither) and asshats like Anne Coulter and Bill O'Reilly will tell anyone who is willing to listen that being gay is sinful. On the other hand, every member of the Community will also tell you that he or she was born gay. Who should we believe? The homophobic "Christians" or the people who, through no choice, live the life?

Being gay in America, even today, means that you are "different." It means that you do not have the same rights as every other person on the planet and that who you love makes you a "bad" person.

Someday -- maybe not in my lifetime -- being gay won't be viewed as 'abnormal' or 'sinful' by the majority of people. But as long as lunatic fringe groups like NOM and Focus on Family exist, there will be people who, ignorant anything which happens in the real world, believe that being gay is 'wrong' and gays, lesbians, bi-sexual and transgendered persons will be labeled "perverts" and "sinners." To those uneducated, Tea-bagging morons I say "Get over it, already."

Hmmm... an Anniversary Rant. Who would've thunk? Maybe what they all need is an SGF:



More, anon.
Prospero

Nazis on the Moon, Part Deux

Wow. It's been well over a year since I posted about Iron Sky, the movie about Nazis on the moon. At the time, all that existed was an all-digital investors' trailer, and it was just terrific. Apparently the filmmakers have secured some funding because there is some actual footage from the film in this new teaser (which is also a plea for funding).

As someone who grew up with a father who would have been perfectly content as a member of the Hitler Youth Corps (really), and who was forced to endure every godforsaken, Richard Burton narrated minute of The World at War on PBS, I despise WWII films. I can't even bring myself to watch Saving Private Ryan or Schindler's List. I barely made it through Inglorious Basterds and that was a comedy, though I will admit to a fondness for all the Downfall parodies that still proliferate YouTube - there's just something very funny about Hitler freaking out over Michael Jackson's death. But then, I think Dawn of the Dead is hilarious, so what do I know?

Still, there is just something intriguing behind the whole concept of Iron Sky. We have documented evidence that Nazi scientists were working on an anti-gravity device to power aircraft that could fly below and above radar. And we know that at least a few of those scientists were recruited by the U.S. Air Force after the war (look it up), which may have resulted in the events in Roswell, NM in July of 1947. Now, please don't go thinking I'm some UFO conspiracy nutjob. I promise, I'm not. I'm just saying, is all.

Anyway, the Space Cadets over at i09 have posted the latest teaser/funds appeal for Iron Sky, featuring actual footage with real human actors:

Iron Sky stars genre icon Udo Kier (Blade II) and according to IMDb, is scheduled for 2011 release. I honestly think this movie has the potential to be hilarious, thrilling and frightening all at the same time. You can invest, demand and learn more about the film at its official website, here. And here's the original, brilliant teaser:

Of course, you may be wondering about the French connection (no, not the Gene Hackman movie) in this post's title. Well, that refers to 21 year-old Canadian director Xavier Dolan's film Les Amours Imaginaire, currently in competition at Cannes for the first ever Queer Palme award. Dolan, quite a pretty young thing himself, made a name for himself as a director with the Oscar-nominated I Killed My Mother. Les Amours... concerns itself with a bisexual love triangle and is this year's most talked-about LGBT film. Here's the stunning trailer (via):

Is it me, or is there always some bizarre connection between Nazis and gay sex? Must be Kander and Ebb's fault.

More, anon.
Prospero

Suck It!

How telling is it that when I went in search of this image, the word "gay" was part of the url? Anyway, I'm sure you've guessed by now... tonight's Shocktober post is about those Euro-trash imports, Vampires.

They've been a part of most cultures (or creatures much like them) as long as there have been cultures. It took a Victorian era Scotchman, writing a definitive Gothic horror story, to turn the monster into a tragically flawed romantic anti-hero. No, of course Stoker didn't do that. But he started it. It would be almost another 100 years before Anne Rice came along and finished the job for him. And, with a few exceptions, it's been downhill, ever since.

The inspiration for this post was a quote from an Esquire article (via): "Vampires have overwhelmed pop culture because young straight women want to have sex with gay men."

Whaaaa....??!!?? Really? Hmmm... not because gay men want to have sex with gay men? Really? I may be a zombie guy, but I was a vampire guy first. And I gotta be honest with you. Vampires are pretty gay, but I don't know any straight girl who wants to sleep with a gay boy. I do know a gal (a dear friend who shall remain nameless) who desperately wants to be in the same room as two guys having sex, proving the exception to the rule about straight guys and lesbians vs. straight women and gay men. Straight girls are drawn to gay boys as protectors and confidantes. We're "safe" for them. If a gal wants a vampire, she wants it for the same reason a guy does: vampires are hot (well, most of the time). Not here. Or here.

But, they can be pretty damned hot here:

And, in a shout out to my Sisters who read this blog (and to throw a bone the str8 boys' way), here (Clip NOT Safe for Work):

And even here:

What happened to you, Joel Schumacher? You used to make good (okay - not terrible) movies.

Of course, the quote from Esquire is referring to this mess:

I love that there were people at this year's ComiCon wearing signs that said: "Twilight Ruined ComiCon." And I really don't get Pattison at all. Flat-faced, greasy-haired and pasty. When was that ever sexy? Yuck! Hell, I'd do Langella before I'd even think about doing that little twit. But, in all fairness, the only boys I know that glitter are gay... hmmm. Ms. Meyer's Mormon pro-abstinence propaganda seems like a particular slap in the face to a sub-genre that has always relied on sex (and I'll get to that topic, shortly).

Anyway I prefer my vampires like this:

Or this:

In the end, a vampire is all about penetration and the exchange of bodily fluids. Sound familiar? Yes, it's also the allure of eternal youth, power and mystery, but all of those can be boiled down to sex, as well. And we all know by now, that sex sells. Gay, straight, bi or Furry, sex (like birth and death) is one of those common denominators that tie us all together, whether we like to admit it or not. I am looking forward to the day when the vampire becomes a monster, again, rather than a pale simpering boy wearing glitter gel.

More terrors, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week (Movie Edition)

So, there's this movie coming out (you should excuse the pun) called The Big Gay Musical. It stars no one you've ever heard of and is probably guaranteed to send Republicans, Mormons, the Pope and members of the Westboro Baptist Church into fits of apoplexy. Below is the teaser trailer for the movie, featuring Village Voice columnist Michael Musto. As with many such projects, it could be hilarious, daring and racy or just plain stupid. I'll let you decide:

In only slightly less gayer movie news, here's a link to a teaser trailer for Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (via). I can only hope it's a Burton hit, rather than a Burton miss.

I'm done for today. If you haven't already done so, please rate my screenplay...

More, anon.

Prospero

One, Two, Freddy's Light in the Shoes...

This is a picture of the Nike Freddy Kruger sneaker. Why anyone over the age of 14 would want this shoe, is beyond me. Of course, the shoe is only there because of this post's title. JA over at MyNewPlaidPants (welcome home, JA!) has posted this link to an article on StalePopcorn about the absurdist nature of A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. Mostly, the author talks about the movie's overtly homoerotic tones. I don't know why the author equates "gay' with "absurd," but most of the rest of his arguments are pretty solid. And the movie is pretty freakin' gay:

As I read the piece, I couldn't help but think of openly gay director David Decoteau and his basically soft core gay horror movies. And in particular, The Brotherhood series, which now number 6. Take a look at this trailer for Brotherhood II: Young Warlocks, and see if you can tell what I'm talking about:

Brotherhood V: Alumni

Or this one for Brotherhood V: Alumni

Honestly, does it get more overt than that? TwitMagazine recently had this to say about DeCoteau. Personally, I think his films are dreadful. Stupid, badly acted and cheaply made, DeCoteau's voyeuristic movies put the 'dirty' in "Dirty Old Man." Sadly, horror (almost more than any other genre) is subject to formulaic story-telling and stereotypical characters, which means that LGBT characters in mainstream horror films are simply faceless victims played for laughs, or sexual objects meant for the masturbatory fantasies of middle-aged gay geek virgins (with apologies to those middle-aged gay geek virgins out there).

Personally, I want a horror movie in which the gay characters are strong and effective heroes. A slasher movie where the "last girl" is the "last boy." What's that? Really? There is such a film? Oh yeah, right. Well, almost. While it's far from perfect, we need more gay horror films like Hellbent the 2004 gay slasher film starring Psycho Beach Party's Andrew Levitas. Hellbent writer/director Paul Etheredge tries just a bit too hard, and what could have been a truly effective thriller becomes something more akin to "Gay Sexploitation" than "Gay Horror." Here's the trailer (don't watch this one, Janet):

The problem is getting a still fiercely homophobic Hollywood to embrace the queer writers, directors and actors who provide them with their hand-kneaded, high-fiber, high-protein, whole-grain vegan bread and their non-dairy, low-cholesterol, amino-acid-enhanced 'butter-like' spread. The solution, as always, is through being heard. Squawk loud enough and long enough, and someone will listen.

Personally, I blame the Accountants. They've taken over the studios and turned them into sequel/re-boot/recycling machines, based on business models rather than creative content. Creative, original voices are stifled by whatever is projected to make the most money. That's not to say that Hollywood hasn't always been about the money. Of course it has. And sequels have been around since the invention of the story. Some (though only a handful) Hollywood remakes are even better than their originals. But look at this week's Top 10 money makers. Seriously? OK - I must admit that I HAVE TO see Bruno. But the rest of those films? With the possible exception of The Hangover (starring the insanely hot Bradley Cooper), I'd rather be at the dentist.

Alright. Now I'm ranting about movies. What the hell is wrong with me? I guess I just need to see more stuff like the amazing Moon. Go see it!

More, anon.

Prospero