A Creepy Peeps Update

Scarlett

The game is still afoot, it seems. I arrived home on Friday afternoon to find a pink gift bag hanging on my doorknob. I immediately knew it was another dolly for my growing collection. The eerily beautiful creation on your right came with the following (edited by me) note:

Dearest Brian,

Who needs an Easter egg hunt when you can continue wondering which of your loving friends is behind your creepy peeps?!

We bring this one to your door as she is magnificent, ceremonial and resplendent with colorful joy! A match to your present state of bliss and wonder with this (J) person we keep hearing about. Ah yes, you thought perhaps your blissful state had gone unnoticed? We're creepy, not blind dear one.

We do hope he shares your love for the unusual surprises in life!

Wishing you, the other (cartoon doll heads, colored in order of receipt: brown, green, pink and yellow) and (J) every happiness!!!

Love,

The Royal Order of Creepiness.

The fact that they know about J means they are  Facebook friends or followers, which doesn't help in identifying them in the least! Still loving this game! While more than one friend has expressed their jealously, several still find it genuinely creepy.

Of course, now that I have five, I thought it was time to name them. In order of reciept (you can see the first four here) they are: Aja; Jade; Temperance; Hanael and Scarlett. And yes, all of those names have meaning to your crazy old Uncle P.

Hope your life is as full of fun and surprises as mine has been, of late. 

More, anon.

Uncle P

PS - Did I happen to mention that I have fallen madly, deeply and hopelessly in love with J? Because I have. And amazingly, so has he with me. Life is good.

Uncle P and the Mystery of the Creepy Peeps

Among my friends there are two distinct camps when it comes to this story: those who, like myself, find it hilarious and fun and those, like my BIL, who think Uncle P is being stalked by a serial killer. I'll let you decide.

Last November, just about a month after my mother passed away, I came home to find an Apple box stuffed in my mailbox. When I pulled out the tissue paper and ribbons, I found the nightlight you see to your right. And yes, the bulb inside is red. There was no card or note. Nothing on the box but the Apple logo. When I posted it to Facebook, the two camps immediately made themselves apparent. Of course, my friends and regular readers know my taste for the odd (indeed, the macabre) and unusual. And they also know I tend to have a rather dark sense of humor. I thought it was hilarious and plugged it into a kitchen outlet (it gets too hot for practical use, but is fun to switch on when I have guests). In the months that followed, people would occasionally ask me if I ever found out who sent it, but I almost forgot about. Until...

Just around my birthday this year, I came home and opened my screen door and a box tumbled out onto the mat.  Inside was not only the green planter below, but a note!

"Dear Brian,

"The psychic creepy doll network has determined you and your red eyed nightlight needed a friend.

"Therefore please welcome this new addition to your home. We trust you will admire and enjoy it.

"With much love, a shared sense of humor and best wishes,

"Your mystery/anonymous creepy peeps."

The box was a sturdy gift box from the Frenchtown Metalworks, an art jeweler in New Jersey. 

How exciting! Contact had been made! But how much was to be believed? Is this the work of more than one person? Do they live in or near Frenchtown? He, she or they obviously know where I live and when they can deliver packages when I'm not home. More friends freak out. I laugh and hope that all will be revealed, eventually. Speculation continues.  

Next - right before Halloween, I came home to find a bag on my kitchen table. My boarder had brought it in (whew!) after finding it hanging on the doorknob, outside. In the bag was a square box, also from Frenchtown Metalworks. It had a black ribbon and written on it in orange and black markers was "Happy Halloween!" And in the box was the delightfully odd electric tealight holder you see below.

Cozy, isn't she? The yellow flickering eyes in the very pink head are far more effective than the red bulb in the nightlight, don;t you think? No note this time but I didn't need one.

Most recently, I came home from picking up my Christmas Eve dinner from Wing Wah, to find a USPS Priority Mail package sitting in my carport. My sister's package had already arrived, as well as a package from friends who couldn't wait to see me to give me my gift. I looked for the sender only to see "Santa" with no return address. I knew immediately who it was from.

I ate my dinner, opened the rest of my mail and then set to the package. Inside was a letter and the most elaborate dolly of all. Wrapped in a blankie and painted yellow all over; her hair cut off and phrases, slogans and bits of poetry written all over her, she is quite magnificent! 

The letter reads: 

"ho ho ho Brian!

   "I fear you've not been naughty enough this year so was tempted to not deliver this wee child to you for the holidays.

   "Alas your creepy peeps network has informed me that exists (sic) in you a certain scorn for the Christmas merriment... the stories behind the story as it were.

"That has set you in my good graces and so I bestow upon you your very own baby - one of poetry for your reading pleasure as you sit by the fire.

   "So master yourself an icy cold martini, sit back and enjoy the season.

"All my best,

" Santa, the creepy one

"PS... my supply of treats for you has run low... but I have my sources and so perhaps we shall continue this adventure into yet another year"

The font colors are theirs. So they also know that I am an atheist and enjoy an icy cold Sapphire martini now and again. The plot thickens. Or does it? Loads of folks know that. The doll itself, is fascinating. She reminds me of something out of a Clive Barker movie.

On her face is: LETS DO EMPTY OUR POCKETS AND DISAPPEAR * MISSING ALL OUR APPOINTMENTS AND TURN ING UP YEARS LATER UNSHAVEN OLD CIGARETTE PAPERS STUCK TO OUR PANTS LEAVES IN *** OUR HAIR Her torso reads: LET US NOT WORRY ABOUT THE PAYMENTS ANYMORE LET THEM COME ND TAKE IT AWAY WHATEVER IT WAS WE WERE PAYING AND US WITH IT  On her left arm and side: I AM A SOCIAL CLIMBER CLIMBING DOWNWARD AND THE DESCENT IS DIFFICULT  On her right arm: THE UPPER MIDDLE CLASS IDEAL IS FOR THE BIRDS AND THE BIRDS HAVE NO USE FOR IT

On her left leg: LETS CUT IT OUT LETS GO TO THE REAL INTERIOR OF THE COUNTRY WHERE HOCKSHOPS REIGN MERE UNBLIND ANARCHY UPON US THE END IS NEAR BUT GOLF GOES ON. On her right leg: LET US ARISE AND GO NOW TO WHERE DOGS DO IT OVER THE HILL * WHERE THEY KEEP THE EARTHQUAKES BEHIND CITY DUMPS LOST AMONG GAS MAINS AND GARBAGE. On top of her head: JUNKMAN'S OBBLIGATO On the back of her head: LAWRENCE FERLING HETTI (the artist, perhaps?) MY BODY IS HUNG UP TOO LONG IN THE STRANGE SUSPENDERS GET ME A BRIGHT BANDANA FOR A OCKSTRAP (sic) On her back: LET US NOW YOU AND I LEAVING OUR NECKTIES BEHIND ON LAMPOSTS (sic) TAKE UP THE FULL BEARD OF WALKING ANARCHY LOOKING LIKE WALT WHITMAN A HOME MADE BOMB IN THE POCKET I WISH TO OESCEN (?) IN THE SOCIA (?) IS LOW On the back of her right arm: LOSE THE WAR WITHOUT KILLING ANYONE

So, Uncle P's question for you... Would you be freaked out, or just as amazed and amused as I am? That a friend or friends would go this far and long without cracking is just awesome. I know there will be a grand reveal, eventually and I will be face-palming myself for not figuring it out. Until them, I very much love this game!

More, anon.
Uncle P

Did You Ever See a Dream Walking?

Lucas Haas in Lady in White

Like many good ghost stories, 1988's under-appreciated Lady in White is actually a mystery (which I am about to spoil). 

On Halloween, 1962, nine year old Frankie (Lukas Haas) is trapped in his school cloakroom by some bullies. While there, he sees a young girl being murdered and is attacked, himself. The girl's ghost asks Frankie to help her find her mother and he faints. He awakes in the hospital to learn that the school janitor has been arrested for the attack on him and the murders of 11 other children.

The ghost. Melissa, befriends Frankie and eventually, he returns to the cloakroom where he finds a hairclip and a class ring. The janitor is released due to insufficient evidence, but is later murdered by the mother of one of the real killer's victims. The bullies later lure Frankie to the nearby cliffs, but are scared off by a ghostly lady in white. Frankie runs home and confides to his brother Geno, who doesn't believe him, until Melissa appears to him as well. Frankie also tells family friend 'Uncle Phil' (Len Cariou) about the ring and how he thinks the real killer was looking for it on the night he was attacked. Geno and Frankie follow Melissa to the cloakroom where they see her murder re-enacted, though the killer remains invisible. After being strangled, Melissa's lifeless body is carried to the cliffs, where she revives and is then thrown over. Her mother, dressed in a white dressing gown, runs out of their nearby cottage and, seeing her daughter's lifeless body, throws herself off the cliff in despair.

Eventually, Geno and Frankie link the ring to Phil who drags Frankie off to the cliffs to kill him, but as Frankie's life is being choked from him, Phil is hit from behind. Frankie awakes in the cottage, tended by Amanda (Katherine Helmond), Melissa's aunt and the lady in white who scared the bullies away. Before she can get help, Phil enters the cottage and kills Amanda, setting the house on fire. Phil drags Frankie back to the cliff but before he throw him over, he is assaulted by the ghost of Melissa's mother and falls over, himself. Melissa and her mother then ascend together toward Heaven as Geno and their father Angelo (Alex Rocco) arrive to pull Frankie up from the side of the cliff. Just as they do so, Phil reappears, grabbing Frankie's ankle. Faced with the truth and the police, Phil lets go and plunges to his death.

Creepy and loaded with atmosphere, Lady in White was a critical, if not a commercial, success. It was eventually embraced by fans with its release on video and repeated offerings on cable, where it eventually earned a sort of cult status. Writer/director Frank LaLoggia does a fine job of creating atmosphere and tension, though the plot was probably a little old-fashioned for contemporary horror fans, who were still looking for gore and mayhem in the wake of the 80's Slasher craze. The performances are mostly terrific. Haas was still best known for his debut in Witness but does a lovely job and Cariou, known mostly as a Broadway performer is superb as the guilt-plagued killer. And while hardly a scare-the-pants-off-you thriller like The Haunting or Insidious, Lady in White is certainly worth watching on a gloomy Saturday afternoon, especially when paired up with another similarly atmospheric film.

More, anon.
Prospero

TV Review: "Happy Town"

With "Lost" ending in 5 episodes, ABC has created yet another dark and enigmatic puzzler in "Happy Town."

Set in Haplin, Minnesota, "Happy Town" is sort of "Desperate Housewives," if it had been written by Stephen King. The story begins with the gruesome murder of the town's local perv and the arrival of Henley (Hostel II's Lauren German, looking like a young Milla Yovovich), who plans to open a candle shop in the town where her late mother once spent a lovely vacation - or so she says. Haplin was once plagued by a series of disappearances that lasted for 7 years, all attributed to the mysterious 'Magic Man,' who left no clues behind. But all has been quiet in Haplin for 5 years. That is until the murder and Henley's arrival.

Haplin's residents include the local sheriff ("Lost" alum, M.C. Gainey); his son Tommy (the ridiculously handsome Geoff Stults); Tommy's wife Rachel ("Dollhouse" doctor Amy Acker); pizza man Big Dave ("E.R." orderly Abraham Benrubi); bread factory owner John Haplin (Steven Weber) and town matriarch Peggy Haplin (the always amazing Frances Conroy). Throw in the mysterious Hollywood memoriabiliast Merritt Grieves (Sam Neill) and a host of character actors you are sure to recognize, and you have quite a cast.

I must admit, the pilot episode got me hooked, immediately. Who (or what) is the Magic Man? What's behind the mysterious halo-topped question mark graffittied all over town (and tattooed on Henley's shoulder)? Why is the third floor of the rooming house off limits? Who killed the perv and why? Who is Chloe and why does the sheriff's seemingly repressed memory of her drive him to chop off his own hand? Much like David Lynch's "Twin Peaks," "Happy Town" starts off with more questions than answers and introduces us to the unseemly side of a seemingly perfect American town. Your Uncle P, for one, can't wait to find out what's going on in Haplin, though I suspect it will be quite some time before we actually do so (if at all).

"Happy Town" airs on Wednesdays at 10 PM Eastern (check your local listings). **** (Four Stars out of Four).

More, anon.
Prospero