Goodbye, Thank You and a Few Last Things

The Party's Over

Well, this should come as no surprise to anyone. I reach more people on Facebook than Caliban's Revenge ever did. And it's quite obvious from the lack of posts that I have been, let's say "otherwise occupied," of late. My life has changed so very much since I started this blog on July 9th, 2008.

At the time, my intent was document the production process of a play I was directing. It was not only on the main stage of my alma mater, it was also being showcased at the first International Thornton Wilder Society Conference being hosted by said alma mater. The play was The Skin of Our Teeth. My concept was Steampunk and it was awesome, if I do say so myself! Of course, we hadn't even had auditions when I first posted and I needed something to talk about... so I posted about one of my other passions: Movies. Specifically, 10 Fantasy/Horror/Sci-Fi Movies that Need to Be Re-made. Which you can read right here, if you are so inclined. And since I'll be closing out with very same topic, you might be interested to see the differences between the two (several have been or are in the process of being made by now).

As I wrote more and more, reviewing movies; commenting on politics; promoting charities; raging against the machine; promoting LGBT issues or just being silly for the sake of being silly, I poured an awful lot about myself onto these posts. And enough people responded to make it fun. I met the amazing Stephen Rutledge and Stephen Rader (and a few other amazing folks) thanks to this blog. And I have corresponded with folks all over the world, thanks to this blog.  Since I started, I lost my mother and met an extraordinary man who came to me exactly when I needed him the most. The world, to paraphrase Tolkien,'has moved on.' And I, with it.

I hope I have entertained you; made you laugh or made you angry or made you feel anything at all. If I did, then I win! If not, then why did you bother reading? I am still doing lots of writing for myself and J has encouraged me to get back to revising some of my 'almost' screenplays, so I am going to do just that. And who knows? I may be back. I'd love to do a Home Cooking blog. Yes, I know; done to death. But by a gay bear who is REALLY good at it?

Anyway, below is Uncle P's final post on Caliban's Revenge:

10 Sci-fi/Horror/Fantasy Movies that Need to Be Re-Made

10. Something Wicked This Way Comes. Ray Bradbury's amazing novel was done a disservice by the Disney version. The novel was a significant influence on me at a young age and remains one of my all time favorites. It needs to be done right.

 9. Ghost Story. Peter Straub's terrifying novel is given very short shrift in John Irvin's eviscerated film version. A quartet of once-greats can't save this mess, though it did introduce genre favorite Alice Krige to U.S. audiences. A more faithful adaptation of the novel is long overdue, even it means a sprawling 3+ hours run-time. Straub's complex story deserves no less.

 8. Flash Gordon. Yes, I said it! Even the cheesiest of cheese lovers admit how queso this 1980 cult classic is. And trust me, I adore it as much as anyone else, probably even more. It is exactly the kind of movie the word 'Camp" has come to describe and it is it's own perfect thing. But in the character's heyday, Flash Gordon was a serious Sci-Fi Adventure tale and an imaginative, serious  reboot is certainly worth exploring

 7.  Frogs. With James Patterson's "Zoo" taking TV by storm this summer, I MUST talk about this 1972 AIP stinker about animals striking back, if only to prove that everything old is new again. Replace Sam Elliot with Ryan Reynolds; Ray Milland with John Mahoney Joan Van Ark with almost anyone. Seriously.... A doll whose lines are dubbed in by Andie McDowell, even. (Some of you are laughing VERY hard at that joke... I hope).

 6. The Exorcist. Yup. Still on the list. Because I've never found it scary! In fact, the whole 'head-spin' effect is so obvious, I laughed the first time I saw it. That wasn't scripted as a funny moment... I still do not understand the mass hysteria that accompanied the film's initial release. And yes, I understand that one must believe in the devil to be afraid of the devil...  But there are movies that have scared me. This just isn't one.

 5. The Shining. Kubrick was wrong! And while Mick Garris' TV version was closer, neither actually conveys the growing sense of danger and terror as King's prose manages to do. I don't know about you, but I would gladly sit through a 195 minute, R-rated Frank Darabont version!

 4. Mysterious Island. The unofficial sequel to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, the 1961 film version of  Mysterious Island is set during the U.S. Civil War. It has a terrific Bernard Hermann score and some of Ray Harryhausen's most memorable stop-motion effects. A modern Steampunk version that is more faithful to Jules Verne's novel  could be a hit in the right hands. The 2012 version starring Dwayne Johnson does NOT count.

 3. Demon Seed. Didn't see that one, coming, did you? Dean Koontz (the poor man's Stephen King) wrote the novel about a woman living in a fully computerized house is raped by and gives birth to said computer's hybrid offspring. There is talk of this remake happening. The original is really... odd. 

 2. Logan's Run. I will always push for the movie this dystopian novel deserves. And yes, I am aware of the original's many charms. I still say "Meh." It could (and should) be done better. Persistent rumors of this remake happening make me think it might never be...

 1. The Haunting. The scariest movie ever made was re-made by an action-movie buffoon as one of the most ridiculous movies ever made. Like King Kong, it deserves a remake that respects the original. And I still dare any of you to watch Robert Wise's film alone, with the lights out. You'd wet yourselves, you wimps!

And so ends 7 years of "Opinionated Nonsense." At least on this forum. You can follow and/or friend  me on Facebook. To friend request, please send a Private Message with the phrase "Sea Monster."

Here's the thing:

"Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
what strength I have's mine own,
Which is most faint: now, 'tis true,
I must be here confined by you,
Or sent to Naples. Let me not,
Since I have my dukedom got
And pardon'd the deceiver, dwell
In this bare island by your spell;
But release me from my bands
With the help of your good hands:
Gentle breath of yours my sails
Must fill, or else my project fails,
Which was to please. Now I want
Spirits to enforce, art to enchant,
And my ending is despair,
Unless I be relieved by prayer,
Which pierces so that it assaults
Mercy itself and frees all faults.
As you from crimes would pardon'd be,
Let your indulgence set me free."

No More, anon.
Brian

Mini-Review: "Mad Max: Fury Road"

So, before I start the actual review, I have to rant a bit. I am an AMC Theater regular. I cross state lines to see a movie at the closest AMC. The actual nearest cinema used to be a United Artists theatre, renovated about 10 years ago to include stadium seating in its relatively small auditoriums. The last movie I saw there (which was the first in a long time) was Lemony Snicket... More recently, it was acquired by Regal and re-renovated to include assigned seating in exceptionally plush recliners! Because J was at my house, and neither of two closest AMCs were showing Mad Max: Fury Road in 2D, we ended up in the Regal and J couldn't help but give in to the plush, falling asleep twice. But... I blame the seat, not the movie.

Anyway...

Original creator/writer/director George Miller (Gremlins; Babe) is back with the latest in the continuing adventures of a character he created nearly 40 years ago. Tom Hardy (The Dark Knight Rises) takes over for Mel Gibson in the title role, joined by Academy Award winner Charlize Theron and X-Men's Nicholas Hoult (Warm Bodies) in what is basically a 2 hour car chase through the Australian (South African) desert. Captured by the sadistic Immortan Joe, AKA 'Daddy' (Hugh Keays-Byrne - of the original film), Max is branded and tattooed an 'O+  Universal Donor' and soon finds himself caged as a living "blood bag" for a cancer-ridden 'War Boy' named Nux (Hoult). When Daddy's best war-machine driver Imperator Furiosa (Theron) goes rogue, Nux sets out in pursuit to win Daddy's favor, strapping Max to the front of his car. Furiosa is also soon in pursuit by The People Eater and The Bullet Farmer, impeding the deal she'd made to ensure safe passage for her cargo, Daddy's concubines (one of whom is very pregnant). As with Miller's previous films in the series, Max's will to survive is paramount, though his compassion and his need to do the right thing overrides his personal well being and he ends up helping Furiosa to defeat to tyrant (Not-Such-A-Spolier-Alert).

Of course, the story (as in all the Mad Max films) is really secondary to the action and stunts, and Fury Road delivers plenty of that! J and I particularly liked the guys on the poles who were able to reach in and snatch people out their vehicles. The performances are fine all around, though Hardy's Max sounds an awful lot like his Bane, particularly near the end. Theron continues to build her repertoire of tough bitches and Hoult is obviously having fun as the lost soul redeemed by love. The effects are superlative (I believed Theron was an amputee) and the visuals quite often amazing. Sadly, while Fury Road is most certainly a Mad Max movie worthy of the franchise, it can't compare to the franchise's decidedly best entry, The Road Warrior. Still, it was great, loud, mindless fun and the chance to hold hands in the dark with a certain special someone (even if those evil seats made him fall asleep twice)!  

Fans of the franchise won't be disappointed, though after all these years, I had hoped Miller might have something new to say about the character. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Mad Max: Fury Road is rated "R" by the MPAA for "intense sequences of violence throughout, and for disturbing images."

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review - "Hercules"

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" ~ Captain Oveur (Peter Graves) in Airplane!

I really have to hand it to Dwayne Johnson. The Samoan superstar who started out as a professional "wrestler" has become a household name (though I promise more people refer to him as "The Rock" than Dwayne) through a very successful and eclectic film career. He has done well in both action and family films and has a stellar reputation as a genuinely nice person and a very professional performer. And while he may be very unlikely to win an Oscar, genre awards are certainly within his reach. Last summer, Johnson hit theatres in terrible action director Brett Ratmner's Hercules (the second of 2 Hercules movies last year; the other starred the Aryanesque Kellen Lutz and was directed by rival terrible action director Renny Harlin). Based on a graphic novel by Steve Moore, this version is a rationalist's delight with a dash of 'magic' which results in a very mixed bag of a movie and happily surprising, not at all what J and I were expecting when we sat down to watch it Friday night.

Johnson's Hercules is a the leader of a band of mercenaries, all devoted to him and to promoting the legend of his own creation. When hired by the beautiful Ergenia (Rebecca Ferghuson), daughter of Lord Cotys (John Hurt) to unite Thrace and free the land from a monstrous army of 'demons' and 'centaurs' led by the vicious Rhesus (Tobias Santelmann), the group sets out for a promised payout of twice Hercules' weight in gold, enough for all of them to retire and live out their lives in peace. Among team Herc are mystic warrior Amphiaraus (Ian McShane); Autolycus, King of Thieves (Rufus Sewell); Amazon warrior Atalanta (Ingrid Bolso Berdal); nephew and story-teller/barker Iolaus (cutie-pie Reece Ritchie) and silent berserker Tydeus (Aksel Hennie). Also on hand is Joseph Fienes in the small but pivotal role of King Eurystheus, for whom Hercules slew the 'Hydra.'  

Almost everything (except McShane's drug-induced predictions) is refreshingly given a very rational and sensible explanation (I'm not sure if I liked the 'Hydra,' the 'demons' or the 'centaurs' more). The fairly good CGI is equally used to create gigantic sets and armies as well as a few hallucinogenic creatures. There are several violent and bloody battles which (I reluctantly must admit) Ratner's team actually handles quite well, with none of the blurring and confusion generated  in so many similar battle/fight sequences. The massive Johnson* (who looks about as Greek as I do) holds his own in uncomplicated role, while McShane and Sewell are more than up to the task of pulling off some of the sillier bits. Unfortunately not even Fiennes' appearance (last seen in "American Horror Story: Asylum") can make up for some of truly ridiculous things in that keep this movie from being worthy of a higher rating. For example...

J and I continue to grow closer and literally had the following same comments/complaints at the same time:

"If this is Ancient Greece, why does everybody except Hercules have a British accent?" (somewhat excusable, I suppose, given the mostly British cast)**

"How does everyone know who he is without every having seen him before?"**

"She (Ingrid) needs to play Nicole Kidman's younger sister."**

"A training montage in 2014?"**

"Saw THAT coming fifteen minutes into the movie."**

Action/Fantasy fans should have a good time with their brains in 'park.' There are all sorts of different eye-candies to go around for everyone but if you're expecting the kind of cheesy beefcake provided by Steve Reeves in the 50's and 60's, this isn't what you're looking for.  Let me put it this way:  Looking for a new take on classical story that provides loads of action liberally peppered with humor and rationalism? Enjoy. Looking for the classical Greek myth? Don't watch this or Sam Raimi's 90's TV show of the same name. **1/2 (Two and a Half Stars). Hercules is rated PG-13 in the U.S. for "epic battle sequences, violence, suggestive comments, brief strong language and partial nudity." It is available on Showtime OnDemand.

*He-he! I said "massive Johnson!" 

** Paraphrased/consolidated from similar comments/thoughts J and I shared about the movie.

More, anon.
Prospero 

 

Retro Review: "Big Hero 6"

So, J and I had a three lovely nights and 2 and a half days together this weekend. We shopped for and planted my flower garden, cooked and lazed and even gave one another hickeys (yes, "EW!"). We also watched Disney's take on Anime, Big Hero 6, a movie that hit theaters not long after he and I started dating and now available OnDemand.

Hiro (voiced by Ryan Potter) is a young genius bored by school and obsessed with battling robots until tricked by his brother Tadashi (Daniel Henney) into accompanying him to his "Nerd Lab" at a prestigious tech college where Professor Callaghan (James Cromwell) encourages Hiro to enter a contest for a full scholarship. Inspired by Tadashi's health care bot, "Baymax"  ("30 Rock" alum Scott Adsit) and his own Battle Bot, Hiro creates a set of thousands of microbots that can form any shape their controller can imagine. When Tadashi is killed in an explosion at the lab, Hiro gives up his dream of attending school, much to the dismay of his Aunt Cass (Maya Rudolph) and the displeasure of tech millionaire Alistair Krei (Alan Tudyk) who wants to buy Hiro's tech. Hiro soon discovers that his microbots have been stolen and are now being used for seemingly nefarious purposes. Aided by an up-graded version of Baymax and his brother's nerdy friends Fred (T.J. Miller); Go Go (Jamie Chung); Wasabi (Damon Wayons, Jr.) and Honey Lemon (Genesis Rodriguez), Hiro sets on a mission to not only retrieve his invention but to also stop the mysterious Kabuki-masked villain who is apparently using them for revenge.

Based on the graphic novel "Man of Action" by Duncan Rouleau and Steven T. Seagle and co-directed by Disney veterans Don Hall and Chris Williams, Big Hero 6 is a delightful take on both the Superhero and Robot Sci-Fi genres. Baymax (an auto-inflatable health care bot programmed to ensure the well-being of its patients), a delightful, childlike robot with much to learn about the world outside of boo-boos and fevers, is especially amusing when deflating or running low on battery power. Hiro (with his over-sized, Anime-style eyes) is a typical rebellious Disney teen who learns to take responsibility for himself only after a tragedy. Among the supporting characters, Fred (whose father turns out to be - SPOILER ALERT - none other than the one and only Stan Lee) and Callaghan are the standouts.

J and I both thoroughly enjoyed Big Hero 6 and are honestly looking forward to the further adventures of the Superhero team that comes into its own at the end. And certainly (like almost every animated Disney movie), terrific animation, clever jokes and sly references to other genre films outweigh the cliches and tropes associated with Anime; Superheros; Sci-Fi and Coming-of-Age stories. Sit back, park our brain and just enjoy this latest entry n the growing number of non-Pixar Disney CGA films. Big Hero 6 is loads of fun for fanboys and families. **** (Four Out of Four Stars) Big Hero 6 is rated PG in the U.S. for "action and peril, some rude humor, and thematic elements."

More, anon.

Prospero 

PS - Watch for the cleverly hidden Frozen Easter-egg early on at the police station... 

 

Review "The Avengers: Age of Ultron"

Holy cow! I'm actually blogging! In fact, I may blog several times this month as there are at least two other movies coming out and another currently playing on my Must See list and I am determined to see at least two. But that's another post.

So today marked several significant things for your Uncle P.  It was the first movie I've seen in a theater since Christmas; it was the first 'Tentpole' movie of the season; it was the next Marvel movie in an increasingly interconnected series unlike anything that's ever been attempted before and (most importantly) it was the first time that J and I went to the movies together. I love that while J doesn't quite share my enthusiasm for movies, he likes that I have that enthusiasm. The last movie he'd seen in a theater was a Harry Potter movie and he had never seen a 3D movie (poor, sheltered thing - LOL - I love you, Honey!) so it was more than just out first movie together for him, too (yes, we're saving our ticket stubs - we're mushy that way!).

Sorry... You want to know what I thought of the movie. Or, at least I hope you do. Any way...

When we last saw The Avengers as a team, they were eating schwarma after defeating Loki and the alien invaders, much to the chagrin of first-glimpsed villain, Thanos. The Avengers now operate as an independent team under the direction of Steve "Captain America" Rogers (Chris Evans) and we join them in the midst of an assault on a HYRDA compound in Eastern Europe to recover Loki's scepter. Once recovered, Tony "Iron Man" Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) asks to study the sceptor for 3 days before Thor (Chris Hemsworth) returns it to Asgaard. When Stark's computer, Jarvis (Paul Bettany) studies the staff, it discovers the gem inside (one of the 'Infinity Stones' which have featured in several of the films) houses an artificial intelligence. Seeing this as an opportunity to create a sentry for humanity, Stark and and Bruce "Hulk" Banner (Mark Ruffalo) attempt to interface Jarvis and the AI to create what is intended to be a world-wide guardian named Ultron* (James Spader). Of course, as in any good Frankenstein story, a monster arises, instead.

Thankfully, Age of Ultron manages to just barely avoid the Marvel plot formulas that were becoming a little too familiar and this time around we get to learn more about the humans inside the Superheros, particularly Clint "Hawkeye" Barton (Jeremy Renner) and a seemingly impossible romance for Banner and Natasha "Black Widow" Romanov (Scarlett Johansson). There is plenty of the usual Marvel action and banter, with lots of tension-relieving jokes and one-liners in between the grand-scale destruction and over-the-top action sequences (a very funny scene about them all trying to lift Mjölnir turns into an important plot point later on). We are also introduced (I won't say how or when) to the character Vision (Bettany) and a pair of 'enhanced' twins (Aaron Taylor-Johnson as Quicksilver** and Elizabeth Olsen as Scarlet Witch). Add appearances from Marvel regulars Idris Elba; Hayley Atwell; Don Cheadle; Cobie Smulders; Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson and you have a very entertaining movie, indeed. But I must give a special nod to Spader's voice performance, which is dead-on. I knew but had forgotten that Spader was cast, and both J and I were going crazy trying to figure out whose voice it was, because his smarmy inflections and turns of phrase were so very familiar. When the credits rolled we both said "D'oh!"

Yes, we both very much enjoyed the movie, though I thought the 3D was completely unnecessary. It honestly did nothing to enhance the movie and at the end of the 141 minute run-time, my eyes were very tired and J had a headache (he said, "I don't ever need to see another 3D movie, Honey"). Truth be told, I liked the first Avengers movie much better. Writer/Director Joss Whedon obviously has a vision for the franchise and I expect the next film in the series (Infinity Wars) will be the Empire Strikes Back of the series.  *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars). 

The Avengers: Age of Ultron is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of sci-fi action, violence and destruction, and for some suggestive comments." 

*In the original comics, Ultron was invented by Hank Pym, the original "Ant-Man." One of the trailers we saw before the movie was for Marvel's next 'Phase Two' movie Ant-Man starring Paul Rudd ("Oh, Paul!") and Michael Douglas as... Hank Pym!

**We previously saw a very different version of Quicksilver as played by Evan Peters in X-Men: Days of Future Past, apparently the result of multiple studios owning various rights to the character, though Taylor-Johnson's version remains truer to the comics.

Well, this was fun. I'm pretty sure you'll hear from me again this month!

More, anon.
Prospero

2015 Horror Movies

I see you shiver with antici.....

...pation!

Sorry. It was very late when I thought of this post and I didn't want to forget to do it. 

Whatever regular readers I have left know about my love of Horror movies, good and bad. And I'm always on the lookout for some interesting, original and startling works. And 2015 seems quite promising for this jaded genre guru. 

Four upcoming Horror movies have particularly caught my attention with some rather intense trailers. And while I'd love to talk about Guillermo del Toro's Gothic ghost movie Crimson Peak, there isn't any footage from the closely-guarded film to share just yet. Still, these four upcomings movies are pinging high on my personal radar!

 First up, a film from writer/director Adam Green (Hatchet; Frozen - no not  the Disney one). In Digging Up the Marrow, genre veteran Ray Wise plays a man who claims to have discovered an underground realm in which real monsters reside. 

New writer/director David Robert Mitchell makes his wide-distribution debut with It Follows, an interesting take on "Tag. You're It!" Starring no one you know, the very atmospheric trailer seems like it could be the start of several careers.

Chris Sparling, writer of the claustrophobic Ryan Reynolds movie Buried, directs The Atticus Institute, about an attempt by the military to weaponize demonic possession. It's one of the most insane movie concepts I can imagine and I can't wait to see it!

And while this last movie is actually a prequel, I'm still very excited to see it. James Wan's Insidious was one of the most effective Horror movies of the last 10 years, though it's sequel disappointed. Wan's long-time writing partner Leigh Whannel makes directing debut with Insidious Chapter 3:

I know there will plenty more Horror movies in the coming year. What movies are you looking forward to seeing in 2015?

More, anon.
 Prospero

Why "Selma" Won't Win

Click Image to Embiggen

"Racism is dead in America." ~ Anne Coulter.

By now you should know how I feel about Awards shows in general. Admittedly, I'll watch the Oscars this year, just to see NPH (loved his lunacy on "American Horror Story" this season). Like most Americans, I have seen very few of the nominated movies. I've seen Boyhood (which I didn't care for enough to even bother reviewing) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (which I did review and honestly wanted to like more than I did). With the exception of Birdman, I honestly have no interested in seeing the other nominated films. Not that you shouldn't see them or that they shouldn't be seen. And while I guess if was a professional critic, I would have seen them all, but probably grumbled about seeing more than one. Oddly, the rest of the nominees are all biopics... American Sniper; The Imitation Game; The Theory of Everything; Whiplash and Selma are all real-life stories. Fictionalized, of course, for dramatic interest. 

But it is Selma in particular, which seems to have generated the most controversy. First, it was reported that the movie was historically inaccurate and portrays Lyndon Johnson as opposed Dr. King's march in Alabama and the Voting Rights Act. And then the Oscar nominations came out. And while Selma is nominated for Best Picture, not one of its cast were nominated. In fact, not a single person of color was nominated in any performance category. Not a single Black, Latino, Asian or multiracial person on the list! No Inuit; Pacific Islanders; Native Americans; Maori or Aboriginals, either. That's just... I mean, how does a film get nominated for Best Picture, without a single nomination for any actor that's in it or the director who made it? One might also ask how The Color Purple didn't win a single one of its 11 nominations. Or why Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash. Oh, wait, wasn't Crash about racism? Sure, but in a really awful, hit-you-over-the-head way that went way out it's way to prove a point. Plus, it didn't have any icky man-on-man kissing. 

Hollywood, that supposed bastion of liberal hedonism, is racist, sexist and homophobic. Now, I know I'm not saying anything new here. But the Oakland Tribune headline up on the right just put it so succinctly and hilariously, that I had to comment, especially when the country is about to enjoy a three-day weekend in celebration of Dr. King's birthday. It's like the Academy voters are saying "We like the idea of civil rights; we just don't like the people who are asking for them."

Selma doesn't have a chance of winning Best Picture on February 22nd. Because the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. 

For what it's worth, here are the trailers for this year's Best Picture nominees:

















So, I guess... Yay, White People!? Ugh! Oh, and by the way... F*ck You, Anne Coulter!

Uncle P used to participate in a charitable event every MLK weekend as my Day of Service, but they and I parted ways a while ago and I focused my volunteering on the JTMF. Of course, JTMF is all but dead (only our Facebook page remains), though a last gasp may be at hand with a project I'll be talking about (and directing again!) soon.

If you are lucky enough to be off, enjoy your holiday. Don't feel obligated to do a Day of Service because it's MLK Day. You should always fee obligated to do service whenever you can. But if you need a special day for it, so be it. 

More anon,
Prospero

Review: "Into the Woods"

Adapting stage musicals into films is very tricky in the 21st Century. If one thing doesn't work, the whole thing falls apart. For every Chicago there's a Nine or Rock of Ages. Even Les Miserables, the biggest stage musical in the world, didn't really work on film; it's theatricality lost in closeup after closeup. And don't get me started about the last time someone adapted Sondheim for the screen. The less said about Tim Burton's grim and humorless version of Sweeney Todd, the better. So I went to see Into the Woods with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Yes, director Rob Marshall made the amazing Chicago but he also made the very-less-than-amazing Nine. I was encouraged by the trailers and knew I had to see it (I adore the show). So tonight, I met a Facebook friend for first time IRL (Hey, Michele!) and went to the 7:15 at an AMC I usually avoid, because it was central to both of us.

Let me start by saying that if nothing else (and there is plenty else), Into the Woods is a truly gorgeous movie to look at. It's almost like the first time you're old enough to realize that The Wizard of Oz goes from sepia to full color. Even though the majority of the action takes place at night, it's just stunning to look at. Director Rob Marshall assembled an amazing artistic team which includes his go-to cinematographer Dion Beebe who works wonders and costumer Coleen Atwood whose gorgeous pieces are truly magical. James Lapine's screenplay (based on his original libretto) does a nice job paring the show down to just over 2 hours without losing any of its emotional impact though the very amusing character of the Narrator is reduced to a few minutes of voice-over. If you aren't familiar, Into the Woods is about what happens after 'Happily Ever After' and combines the stories Jack & the Beanstalk; Cinderella; Rapunzel and Little Red Riding Hood by introducing us to a childless Baker and his Wife. When a witch bursts in and offers them a way to lift the curse that has kept them childless, everyone is off and running.

For the most part, the casting is perfect. Anna Kendrick uses her fine voice at its best as Cinderella and though new to American audiences, adorable Brit James Cordon is terrific as The Baker.* Daniel Huttlestone's Jack sounds exactly like his Gavroche and Lilla Crawford, making her feature debut, is perfect for this version of Red. The most surprising voice belongs to Chris Pine as Cinderella's Prince, whose sweet tenor in the duet "Agony" with Billy Magnussen as Rapunzel's Prince is lovely in a brilliantly staged scene amidst a rocky waterfall. There are also some really terrific supporting performances by Tracey Ullman as Jack's Mother; Christine Baranski as Stepmother; Lucy Punch and Tammy Blanchard as the step-sisters and screen legend Frances de la Tour as The Giant. Happily, Johnny Depp has only one number and few minutes of screen time as the Wolf. The man should never be allowed to sing on screen again. The truly overt sexual overtones of "Hello, Little Girl" were watered down, I imagine because of Crawford's age - Red is usually played by an adult and the Wolf's choreography, makeup and costuming are more suggestive on stage - though the lyrics weren't changed.

But I quibble, because all of them are simply outshone by Emily Blunt as The Baker's Wife and Meryl Streep as the Witch. In the original Broadway production, these roles were played by Theatre Legends Joanna Gleason and Bernadette Peters. They were iconic, indeed signature, performances. Happily, Blunt is more than up to the task as the story's most sympathetic character, with a sweet singing voice and total commitment to the role. Streep, of course, is always amazing and she takes the part and makes it her own. Her rendition of "Stay with Me" actually made me cry.

If you don't know the show, Rob Marshall's excellent adaptation is a good place to start. If you know and love the show as I do, then I think you'll be very pleased by it. Finally, film justice for Stephen Sondheim! A perfect Holiday Movie for Families and Musical Theatre Geeks alike! **** (Four Out Four Stars). Into the Woods is rated PG for "thematic elements, fantasy action and peril, and some suggestive material."

*Corden will soon be taking over for the departing Craig Ferguson on the "The Late, Late Show." 

More, anon.
Prospero

Sony's Own Sally Starr's Dilemma?

As I am sure you are all aware by now, Sony Pictures has decided not to release The Interview after threats from punk-ass hackers in North Korea. While I happen to whole-heartedly agree with our POTUS that Sony made the wrong choice, they were also faced with their own version of Sally Starr's Dilemma.

In case you've been living under a rock for the past month or so, let me quickly recap. The Interview is a movie starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, involving a talk-show host and his producer who are recruited by the CIA to assassinate North Korean leader Kim Jong Un while interviewing him for his first Western TV interview. And while North Korea apparently had no problem with a puppet version of Kim's father being killed in Trey Parker's and Matt Stone's Team America: World Police, a live-action satire about his son was just too much. Beloved Leader's crack team of cyber-bullies hacked Sony's internal files, revealing awkward emails from execs; personal information and SSI numbers of employees and threatening to bring about 9/11 style retribution against theaters that would dare show the film. After several theater chains decided not to exhibit the movie, Sony capitulated to the hackers' demands and pulled it's release, completely.

Personally, I am appalled that Sony gave in to these ridiculous demands, letting a tinpot dictator  quash Free Speech and Artistic Expression in a country whose First Constitutional Amendment expressly allows both. And it makes no difference whether the movie is good or bad (personally, I find most of the comedies Rogen and Franco have made together to be pretty hilarious - with the exception of Your Highness - even though they can hardly be considered "High Art"). 

At the same time, I understand Sony Picture's reluctance to be held accountable for any deaths and/or destruction which might have occurred during any screenings of the movie. It is literally a 'Damned If You Do/Damned If You Don't' situation.

Still...

Sony has paved the way for fear-mongering asshats to stop the release of any film that might be considered offensive or politically incorrect. If the Westboro Baptist Church had threatened violence against theaters showing Brokeback Mountain or Milk, would those films' studios have backed down? Unlikely. In fact, if detractors and haters had been given their way, AMC's list of the 100 Most Controversial Movies of All Time would undoubtedly not exist and we would never have seen classics like The Exorcist; A Clockwork Orange; Citizen Kane or Lolita, to name a very few.

So, where do we draw the line? Do we give into the fear of retaliation from a despotic regime of a very Third World country or do we continue to be the leaders of Free Speech and Artistic Expression? Do we let the Catholic League tell us something is obscene or do we decide for ourselves what we will or won't watch? As far as Uncle P is concerned, by giving in to these asshats, Sony has added another chip in the wall of Democracy that our forefathers fought so hard to secure. And that makes me very sad.

F*ck you, Kim Jong Un! F*ck you and anyone who tries to take away the freedoms so many Americans have fought for and died to protect. And F*ck you Sony Pictures for letting them do it!

More, anon.

Prospero

Mini Reviews - "X-Men: Days of Future Past;" "Horns;" "Magic in the Moonlight."

One of the many benefits of traveling for my day job is the opportunity to catch up on films I missed in theaters at no additional expense to me. This past weekend's jaunt to San Francisco was no exception and I was able to see two newish movies while flying and a current release in my hotel room. 

First up, Alexandre Aja's take on Joe Hill's second novel, Horns. I read 'Horns' over a few nights while staying at my sister's a few years ago, and while I liked it a lot, I thought his first novel, 'Heart-Shaped Box' was better. (Hill, if you don't know, is the son of prolific genre novelist Stephen King, writing under his mother's maiden name). Ig Parrtish (Daniel Radcliffe) is accused of murdering his long-time love Merrin (Juno Temple). When he suddenly sprouts what appear to be demonic horns on his forehead, Ig finds those he encounters incapable of telling him anything but the worst secrets about themselves. Determined to find Merrin's true killer, Ig tears through his Pacific Northwest hometown, exposing the worst among it's residents, including his own family. Aja (High Tension; The Hills Have Eyes) displays his distinctive look in full, giving Horns a very in-your-face style. Radcliffe is impressive in the role, though some may find Harry Potter swearing and having sex a little off-putting. Supporting performances from James Remar; Kathleen Quinlan; Heather Grahame and David Morse are excellent, across the board, though Temple seemed a little flat in a role which consisted entirely of flashbacks. While some critics truly disliked Horns, I thought it a fairly faithful adaptation with some interesting FX and an hilarious comment on the secrets we all try to keep from one another. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Horns is rated 'R' for "sexual content, some graphic nudity, disturbing violence including a sexual assault, language and drug use." 

Next was director Bryan Singer's newest entry in the franchise he created, X-Men: Days of Future Past. While I've always had issues with time-travel story lines, Singer manages to almost seamlessly combine the casts of both timelines in the series in a story revolving around a group of genetically-altered robots used to root out and destroy mutants. With a plot too convoluted to go into in a mini-review and Hugh Jackman's obviously aging Wolverine as a character who doesn't age, Days of Future Past somehow works, despite minimal appearances from the franchise's most famous members. "American Horror Story" cutie Evan Peters and "Game of  Thrones" alum Peter Dinklage join the growing number of terrific actors to appear in the franchise. Great FX and some complex performances from James McAvoy; Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence help make Days... one of the better entries in the franchise. *** 1/2 (Three and a Half Stars Out of Four). Rated 'PG-13' for "sequences of intense sci-fi violence and action, some suggestive material, nudity and language."

Finally, comes prolific director Woody Allen's latest period piece, Magic in the Moonlight. Set mostly in the south of France in 1928, Magic... is the story of a magician and psychic debunker (Colin Firth) who is pressed by a friend and fellow magician (Simon McBurney) to reveal the fakery of an American medium (Emma Stone). What follows is a rather dull and predictable story in which Firth's character is fooled by and eventually falls in love with Stone's. Allen's oft-studied themes of religion and atheism are at the core, but it's nothing we haven't seen from him before. Supporting performances from Hamish Linklater; Marcia Gay Harden and Jackie Weaver and some lovely period costumes and set-pieces make the movie a bit more palatable, but I haven't seen an Allen film I've loved in a long time. There is really nothing new or interesting about Magic in the Moonlight and I think it may finally signal the call for the once-hilariously brilliant filmmaker to retire.  ** (Two Out of Four Stars) Magic in the Moonlight is rated PG-13 for " a brief suggestive comment, and smoking throughout."

More, anon.
Prospero 

Retro Review: "The World's End"

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg round out their "Cornetto* Trilogy" (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are the first two) with their take on Apocalyptic Sci-Fi, The World's End.

Desperate to reconnect to his youthful adventures, Gary (Pegg) talks four old mates into recreating and actually finishing the "Golden Mile" pub-crawl they attempted 23 years ago. 12 pubs in one night, ending at The World's End. But when they return to the town they grew up in, something is... off. None of the regular pub owners seem to recognize them and it looks as if they keep passing the same people on the street over and over again. Joined by pals Peter (Eddie Marsan); Steven (Paddy Considine); Oliver (Martin Freeman); Andy (Nick Frost) and eventually Oliver's sister Sam (Rosamund Pike), Gary is determined to relive the best night of his life, despite the decidedly weird goings on in their home town. And as difficult as dredging up the past may be for all of them, what's happening in their small village is much worse.

Pegg's and Wright's script spends the first act on somewhat slow but amusing (and important) exposition before it's gets to the meat of the story, (SPOILER ALERT) which ultimately involves an alien plot to pacify the citizens of Earth so they might join an inter-galactic coalition of some kind. The performances across the board are excellent (who knew Frost could move like that?) and the FX are terrific. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments and even more moments of quiet humor. Pierce Brosnan (Goldeneye) and "The Strain" alum David Bradley both lend their talents in supporting roles and the ubiquitous Bill Nighy is on hand for some very funny voice-over work at the end.

While certainly better than Hot Fuzz, The World's End still can't hold a candle to the brilliantly funny first film, Shaun of the Dead, though it echoes many of the same themes and locales while completing the triumvirate of Horror, Action and Sci-Fi in a mostly satisfying way (and including a rather hilarious fence joke which appears in all three films).

*** (Three Out of Four Stars). The World's End is rated 'R' for "for pervasive language including sexual references." 

*BTW - Cornetto is a British Ice Cream cone brand, featured in all three movies.











And here are the trailers for the first two films in the trilogy:





I hope to watch all three in a row, some day...

More, anon.
Prospero

The Disgustings, or The Gayest D-Bags You'll See This Week

Drew Droege and Jordan Firstman

Writer/Director/Star Jordan Firstman's short The Disgustings spends time with the kind of gay men we all know... and hopefully avoid: Elitist haters who pretend to be above everyone else and who can take no real joy in life. 

Co-starring and co-written by Drew Droege (best known for his hilarious YouTube videos where he parodies Indie actress Chloe Sevigny), The Disgustings is a dead-on look at the kind of narcissistic, self-hating gay men we've all encountered (and wanted to smash in their faces with a trendy cocktail). Judgmental, crass and completely unaware, Jordan and Drew hit every note about what is wrong with modern gay culture in this biting satire.

The Disgustings from jordan firstman on Vimeo.

Hilarious and sad at the same time, yes? Uncle P (as have many of you, I'm sure) has met his fair share of guys like this. It's no wonder they're taking selfies alone. I hope I never wind up as one of these sad queens who hate everyone and everything, just because I hate myself (which I don't). Thankfully, some exceptionally good friends, my amazing sister and some very affirming recent experiences (does Uncle P have a new Beau? Stay tuned to find out...) have convinced me that no matter how cynical and jaded I may become, I will never be as awful as these two. If you see yourself in this movie, don't bother to look me up. And get some help, bitch.You need it.

More, anon.
Uncle P

Retro Review: "John Carpenter's 'The Ward'"

Genre great John Carpenter made his mark with the original Halloween and has since made some of the most memorable genre films of all time, including Christine; They Live; his amazing remake of The Thing and the very campy Big Trouble in Little China, among others. This 2010 effort from the now 68 year old director, unfortunately can't hold a candle his previous work.

Amber Heard plays Kristin, a teen girl found standing outside a farmhouse to which she set fire, and with no memory of anything before that. She is taken to a special ward of the local mental hospital where Dr. Stringer ("Fringe" and "Sherlock Holmes" villain Jared Harris) is testing a new kind of therapy on a group of similarly-aged teen girls, each with their own disassociative disorders.  Kristin moves into the room formerly occupied by Tammy, who in a prologue appears to have been murdered by some malevolent entity.

What follows is probably the most un-Carpenter-like Carpenter film ever made. Filled with cliches and genre tropes, this 1966-set 'ghost' movie ends up being little more than a pseudo-psychological thriller ala Identity and Shutter Island, though both of those movies are superior in almost every way. There are some terrific performances by the young cast, which includes Mamie Gummer; Danielle Panabaker; Laura-Leigh and Lyndsey Fonseca, all of whom have appeared on plenty of prime-time dramas and assorted smaller films, and all of whom manage to create interesting - if not exactly original - characters. The script by Michael & Shawn Rasmussen is both clunky and derivative, and I am surprised Carpenter agreed to do it. Proof that even if you've got it, you don't get to keep it.

Want to have a John Carpenter Halloween movie festival? Watch the 5 films mentioned in the first paragraph of this review and avoid this stinker like Vampires. *(One Out of Four Stars). The Ward  is rated 'R' for "violence and disturbing images." It is currently playing on Cinemax and Cinemax OnDemand, should you wish to waste 89 minutes.

More, anon.
Prospero

Yardbird

Mitzi Ruhlman in Yardbird

I love finding new works from new filmmakers. While Australian director Michael Spiccia's 2012 short Yardbird may not exactly be new, it's relatively new to the States, having played at last year's Tribecca Film Festival. I had never heard of it, but thanks to the good folks over at Neatorama, I discovered it today.

Written by Julius Avery, Yardbird is about a young girl named Ruby, who lives with her father on a remote Australian junkyard. After saving a cat from being tortured by a trio of young thugs, Ruby and her father find themselves under attack. Unfortunately for the chief instigator, Ruby is... special. Taking cues from Stephen King's "Carrie" and employing some extraordinary SFX, Yardbird should be a lesson to all those who would be bullies. You never know who you're screwing with, so don't screw with anyone. 

Ruhlman, in a silent role, gives an extraordinary performance for such a young actor. Without saying a single word, she manages to convey every thought and emotion she's experiencing simply by letting us read her exceptionally expressive face. A remarkable short film by a team from which I hope to see more. Take 11 minutes to watch Yardbird. You won't regret it (a few NSFW F-bombs):

Yardbird from Bridle Path Films on Vimeo.

Not exactly a horror film (though certainly containing elements of the genre), Yardbird is a perfect example of the power of 'quiet' film making. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I and hope you'll share it. It certainly deserves to be seen.

More, anon.
Prospero

National Coming Out Day

So today was National Coming Out Day.  I hope lots of folks did and are the happier for it, as am I. And while it's all well and good that we have an official "Coming Out Day," for many of us, coming out isn't or wasn't a one day deal. 

For Uncle P, the process started with a few High School Theatre girl friends, claiming then (and through much of college) that I was Bisexual, knowing full well that wasn't true in the least. Of course, Uncle P came of age at the beginning of the AIDS crisis, adding additional stigma to being a young gay man. And while all through my 20's and early 30's I had my fun, it wasn't until I went into therapy that I was able to not just come out to myself, but to to my immediate family. I was going to tell my mother on "Come Out with Ellen" day, but chose to do so a week before, steeling myself with a drink or three, first. She cried, not because I was gay, but because I had been afraid to tell her. Eventually, I started expressing to her which men I found attractive on the TV shows we both watched and we would have small conversations about why and whether or not we found the same guys attractive. She loved my long ago ex, Ric and encouraged me to find someone right up until she went into the hospital for the last time. 

I told my sister that same year, on the last night of my once-annual October trip to Florida. She was neither shocked nor upset, though embarrassed at having used the "F" word, earlier in the day (something that almost stopped me from telling her). To this day, she continues to not only be my BFF (I love you K & Q, but you know...) and a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, including Marriage Equality. I feel so lucky to have her on my side, especially given the stories we all know about families abandoning their LGBT members. And while there are still a few elderly family members (my Aunt and Mom's Aunt and Uncle, among them) who don't know - and as far as I am concerned, don't need to know - most of my cousins and few aunts and uncles know. And that's fine. They are all mostly liberal and accepting. And if not, the hell with them. I have reached the age where I truly don't give a rat's ass what you think about me.

For me, coming out was a long, drawn-out process which took many years. As I am sure it was and will continue to be for many gay people. But as more and more of us make ourselves visible, it will be easier and easier for those who come after us. Eventually (hopefully), 'coming out' won't be something anyone needs to worry about. Am I too optimistic about a Roddenberryesque Utopia where the whole word gets it? How  I would love a peek into the future a hundred or so years from now. I can only hope the smart folks win.

In celebration of Coming Out, here's the trailer for my favorite gay rom-com and sweet coming out story, Big Eden:

And here's a very affirming music video about Coming Out:



Own yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself!

Sending you love and support! Come out, come out, whoever you are! Know that there are many people who love and support you! I'm here if you need an ear.

More, anon.
Prospero

Retro Review: "Captain America: The Winter Soldier"

So this last weekend of September (and the first of Autumn) was a very mixed bag, though most of it good. I had intended on writing this review last night while the movie was still fresh in my mind, but the randomness of the Universe stepped in and made my Saturday night into something other than I had planned (I fell asleep and missed a party, but went out later and met a hot, funny and sweet man I hope to see again - yes, we exchanged numbers; I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid).  I worked one of my two mandatory Saturday mornings (7:00 - 12:30) and then went grocery shopping. I knew I had a party to attend, but after the groceries were put away, I had time to kill so I rented Captain America: The Winter Soldier OnDemand. Warning: This movie came out in the spring. There will be lots of SPOILERS!

Captain America: The First Avenger was one of my favorite movies the summer it was released, and I was very happy to find... well, soon. This time out, Cap is once again up against Hydra, who have wormed their unctuous tentacles into the very heart of S.H.I.E.L.D., led by the duplicitous Alexander Pierce (screen legend Robert Redford playing against type and obviously having the time of his life). When S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) is 'killed' by a legendary assassin known as 'The Winter Soldier' (Sebastian Stan), it's up to Steve Rogers to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Despite being told by Fury to "Trust no one.," Rogers does trust Agent Natasha 'Black Widow' Romanov (Scarlett Johansson, finally getting a chance to do some character development, especially with her relationship with Cap) and new Avenger Sam 'Falcon' Wilson (The Hurt Locker's Anthony Mackie) who is introduced in an hilarious opening sequence where Steve keeps passing him in a jog around the Washington Memorial Reflecting Pool ("On your left!")

Directors Anthony and Joe Russo (my beloved "Community") have proven they have the chops to make a coherent action film with action sequences which a) make sense and b) can be followed without straining one's eyes. This is exactly what an Superhero action movie is supposed to be, folks! Performances across the board are up to Marvel's usual standards. Of course, while the astonishingly beautiful Chris Evans was born to play Steve 'Captain America' Rogers, he was nearly shirtless enough for countless women and gay men (though that grey jogging T is pretty amazing!). The scene with the now dying Peggy Carter (a heavily made-up Hayley Atwell) was particularly well done. There is also a very Sky Captain-ish appearance by the the fabulous Toby Jones as the computerized mind of mad scientist and Red Skull's right-hand-man, Arnim Zola.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is probably one of the best of the Marvel films and certainly one of my favorites. If I had to quibble at all, it's that it seems to follow the Marvel formula: Complicated plot followed by massive third act destruction. It may be time to mix it up a bit, guys. Still, it's a solid and beautifully made action movie with loads of all sorts of eye-candy for everyone! One last spoiler: Did you really think Cap and his team wouldn't prevail? **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Rated PG-13 "for intense sequences of violence, gunplay and action throughout."

More, anon.
Prospero