Falling Mascots and Other Nonsense

So I bought myself a present today. I'm listening to it right now. In typical Musical Theatre geek fashion I broke down and bought the "Smash" Season 1 CD. Love it or hate it (I've embraced it's silly soap-opera look at the business and really love it), you can't deny how well done it is. I'm also a fan of composer Marc Shaiman (Hairspray), who writes the music for Bombshell, the fictional musical about Marilyn Munroe at the center of the show. I know there are loads of Katherine McPhee haters, but I have never seen "American Idol" and had no idea who she was before "Smash," and I kind of fell in love with her in this part. But it really is an ensemble and what a cast! Broadway, film and television veterans who all certainly understand the process. And they honestly do some much more interesting covers than "Glee" could hope to. I think the music is even better this season, and am looking forward to both the Season 2 and the complete Bombshell CDs.

Posting that "Mascot Fails" video last night had me seeking out more. Honestly, whenever I see one of these for the first time I end up curled up on the floor, convulsing in laughter. My buddy James is the same way. It's very specific for me, because it's not the falling mascot that makes me laugh but imagining the expression on the face of the poor confused and terrified schlub inside the costume, flailing helplessly as he goes down, all while the visible face continues to grin idiotically. Oh... just thinking about  han;,s,md;lamk;nrf'aknjjkabhdkghddp 

Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I did not have a stroke. I lost all control there, for a second, laughing. I mean seriously. It's terrible. Every time I see some poor loser on the side of the road in a giant hotdog or chicken costume, I silently wish "Fall! Please, oh please, oh please, please please, PLEASE fall down!" I did see a Quizno's Cup Guy get pushed by the wind once, but he managed to stay upright (needless to say, much to my disappointment). Jimmy and I dare you not to laugh at these:

Oh, man! That last one just about made me hyperventilate. It just gets worse and worse and the poor jerk's ass must have hurt for days! I have to give him (or her) credit, because I would've given up a long time before the blue chicken does.

Here's wishing you a silly (in a good way) day, tomorrow. I'm doing everything I can to laugh as much as I can. Because I know if I don't... well... I prefer laughing, anyway.

Still not sure I'm back, back. Meeting a friend of a Day Job friend tomorrow night for drinks. We've been Facebook friends for a while and are finally meeting face-to-face before he takes off for Boston for a few weeks (our mutual friend describes him as a 'gypsy').

Yes, T and I did have that date, and it was.... very nice and we are both looking forward to more. I'm looking forward to some decent sleep, soon. And doing some laundry. And maybe going out for lunch. Calgon, take me away!

More, anon.
Prospero

Failure and Inspriration

Cinnamon Hazelnut Mochachino Rolls w/Cream Cheese Icing

It's been a while since I've blogged about food and/or the Day Job; and since we do have an 'any excuse for a party' policy, tomorrow is NOT a Valentine's Day Party in deference to those without Valentines of their own. Instead, it's a Red Food Party. I had no idea what I was going to make and had several ideas bouncing around and finally settled on a chocolate version of a cream-cheese iced cinnamon roll. But when I went to buy my ingredients, I went in a slightly different direction. The recipe called for a certain brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread, but I found a new brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread and a mocha cappuccino version. I debated... and decided to go with the flashier flavor and went off-recipe, even adding an ingredient. And I'm not sure it worked. In the end, I didn't care for the flavor of the spread (it had an odd after-taste), though I loved the cream-cheese frosting, even though I forgot to add the red food coloring -- and now that I know how easy it is to make, I may try my hand at a carrot cake.* The rolls look pretty good (yes, that's an actual picture of my finished product, taken with my Android). Of course, the ultimate judges will be my co-workers. If no one eats them, I'll know they're a fail. I'll try them again in a smaller batch, according to the original recipe.

So, I know I promised you something inspiring and here it is (via) comes the below video, part of The Campaign for Southern Equality's WE DO campaign, in which LGBT couples across the South apply for and are denied marriage licenses in an effort to raise awareness of the need for Marriage Equality. 

Matt and Raymie apply (and are rejected for) a marriage license in Morristown, TN. Of course,the best parts of this clip are Raymie's sweet, heartfelt speech; their families' support and the sweet, smiling clerks who are obviously supportive. Get your tissues out, (because you're gonna cry, pervs!):

How much have you fallen in love with Matt and Raymie? So I guess I'm officially making Matt and Raymie my Valentines, this year. T and I have yet to have a second date -- thanks to Nemo (ugh!), so I thought I'd celebrate another couple's love, instead. Thanks guys, for making your voices heard; for showing the faces of true love; for giving all of us hope. I hope the two of you have a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day.

*Uncle P's favorite cake, which his cake baker sister never makes him...

OH NOES!!!  MASSIVE FAIL!!!!

I took a small break from writing to get a drink and finish cleaning up the kitchen when I found I had made a fatal flaw! What I thought was a bottle of ground cinnamon was actually a bottle of ground cumin! No wonder I hated them! Here's a cooking lesson well-learned. Double Check the Label! And now I must make a trip to the grocery store for something on my way in. Crap! Double Crap! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

More, anon.

Prospero

Want/Don't Want: 10 Fall Movies

I know, Summer isn't over yet. And there are still several films I really want to see that I haven't got to or haven't opened, yet. Tomorrow, Matty and I are seeing Final Destination 5 (yes, I know... but the films are amusing, if nothing else). Also on my list this month (as previously discussed): Rise of the Planet of the Apes; Fright Night; Conan the Barbarian and Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. I'm hoping to fit Fright and Conan sometime during the coming week and D and I have a long-standing promise to see Don't Be Afraid.

But there is a plethora of films coming out this fall that rank high and low on my list. I'm not including any indie faves like The Descendants or The Rum Diary, simply because while hey may be excellent films, they don't fall into the genres I usually talk about. So here are 10 upcoming films I want to see and have no desire to see.

Let's start with the Don't Wants, shall we?

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part I:

If you're anything like me, you despise the entire Twilight saga. Basically a Mormon treatise on abstinence, Stephanie Meyer's books bastardize the vampire genre, turning monsters into romantic heroes and teaching young girls the Disney lesson that someday their prince will come. Complete and utter crap:

Real Steel:

Hot Aussie Hugh Jackman stars in this mash-up between Michael Bay's abominable Transformers series and Hasbro's Rock-Em-Sock-Em-Robots in a story about a former boxer who now "trains" robots to fight. Really? I'd rather eat glass.

Footloose:

In what is possibly the single most unnecessary remake ever, Dennis Quaid takes over for John Lithgow in a story about a town that has banned dancing. If Kevin Bacon was dead, he'd be spinning in his grave.

Paranormal Activity 3:

The most boring, annoying and least scary horror movie ever made gets a second sequel. The people who pay to see this crap deserve to be ripped off. There were so many parody trailers for this movie on YouTube, I had to go to Trailer Addict to find the real one:

Now for the Wants.

Apollo 18:

Another "Found Footage" movie in the vein of Blair Witch and  Paranormal Activity, Apollo 18 was originally scheduled to be released this summer in advance of a competing film which fell apart. Delayed for re-tooling, I think it could actually be worth seeing:

Contagion:

Steven Soderbergh's Apocalyptic virus movie stars everyone:



Drive:

Hottie Ryan Gosling stars as a Hollywood stunt driver who moonlights as a get-away driver in director Nicholas Rfen's thriller:

In Time:

Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Olivia Wilde, Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer and Cillian Murphy star in this futuristic tale about a society where people stop aging at 25, but use time as currency. It doesn't get much more "high concept" than this:

Immortals:

Love or hate Tarsem Singh's films (I happen to love them), you cannot deny that they are visual feasts. Tarsem takes Greek mythology to new heights in this tale of Theseus (future Kal El, Henry Cavill) and the Titans:

Finally, something many of you may think an unlikely choice for Uncle P, but ever since Miss Piggy went all Kung Fu in the original The Muppet Movie, I have been a massive fan of the Muppets' particular brand of nonsense. So I very much want to see writer/star Jason Segal's The Muppets (and you know you do, as well):

I only have one question: What the heck is Wall-E doing driving?

So, what movies do you want to see this Fall? And no, I don't care about the artsy indie movies likely to be nominated for awards. I'm talking Pop-Culture, Popcorn flicks, folks (boy, do I love alliteration!).

More, anon.

Prospero

Two More for the Road

I am off to play for my birthday at Wildwood with D tomorrow. It's a 2 hour trip from my house, so who knows when I'll be home. But I came across two more trailers for films I want to see this Fall and had to share them.

First up, the prequel to John Carpenter's now classic version of The Thing, which also happens to be called The Thing.

I'm not sure why the writers, director and producers couldn't come up with a different title. Hmm... maybe it's because it looks like it's the same movie as Carpenter's, but with Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Scott Pilgrim Vs the World) in the Kurt Russell role. It looks like the they've combined parts of the Howard Hawks' 1951 The Thing from Another World * and Carpenter's 1982 Masterpiece of Sci-Fi Horror (both based on John W. Campbell Jr's short story "Who Goes There?").

The fact that it's produced by the same folks who brought us Zack Snyder's not-half-bad remake of Dawn of the Dead is encouraging. I'll certainly see it, but I can't imagine that the CGI will be nearly as effective as the physical FX in the Carpenter film.

*The next time you watch Carpenter's original Halloween, look for this film on the TV...

Also this fall, director Martin Scorsese directs his first family film, Hugo, based on Brian Selznick's book "The Invention of Hugo Cabret." It tells the story of a young boy who is hiding out in the Paris train station while searching for a key that will wind an automaton left to him by his father. Starring Chloe Moretz (Let Me In); Emily Mortimer (Shutter Island); Jude Law; Christopher Lee; Sasha Baron Cohen; Ben Kingsley; Ray Winstone and newcomer Asa Butterfield, Hugo is a Steampunk mystery adventure set in 1930.

I haven't read the book on which it's based, but I imagine that a family film directed by the guy who gave us Taxi Driver; Raging Bull and The Departed will be nothing less than extraordinary, to say the least. Hugo is scheduled for release on November 23rd, just in time for Thanksgiving. Like many childless adults, I expect I'll be seeing this film at a late evening screening.

I still want to know what movies you want to see this Fall. Post a comment to share.

More, anon.

Prospero

Schadenfreude, O Schadenfreude!

Our endlessly ha-hahing buddy Nelson Muntz there knows what I'm talking about. In fact Nelson, in many ways, is probably a schadenfreude vampire of some kind. I know I'm a bit of a schadenfreude junkie, myself. But  I only  get off on the pain of the pompous, the pious, the rich and the powerful, especially when it means exposing hypocrisy and the often ugly truth.

My favorites are the religious folk caught up in gay sex scandals. After that, it's loud-mouthed, privileged asshats being taken down by a crowd of fans who suddenly came to their senses and realized what an idiot crackhead said asshat really is. That was a bit specific, wasn't it? And I suppose I must make an exception to my self-declared moratorium on this particularly over-paid, idiotic celebrity and ask that you share in the Schadenfreude Fest that is this colossally rewarding Charlie Sheen Fail:

I think this may well be the dose of reality the poor fellow needs before he realizes he is committing career suicide.Or will Charlie "Tiger's Blood" Sheen never learn not to sh*t where he eats? Sheen grew up wanting for nothing, and now expects more. Personally, I have no idea why his show was #1. It stopped being funny after the second season and started to rely on vulgar double and triple entendres; puberty jokes; pot jokes and the exploitation of women. I've never been a huge fan of Chuck Lorre shows, and this one ranks as one of his most exploitative and offensive. Given Sheen's history of 'bad boy' antics, is it any wonder he would eventually fall hard? I just hope he's now fallen hard enough to seek professional help.

More, anon.

Prospero

Okay - Moratorium back in place. 

Cooking Fail/Win + The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week

So, tonight was another theme dinner with friends from college. We'll talk about my pretty massive fail after I talk about the first two fabulous wins. of the evening. We started with cheese-puffs and mini-Reuben pastries (Yum and yum-yum!). Then we moved on to my soup, which I was quite proud of, with the exception of my Super-Ball matzoh balls. I don't understand what went wrong. After consulting three experts, I did everything they told me. I followed the directions on the matzoh meal to the letter. Instead of light and fluffy like every matzoh ball I've ever had (and hadn't made), they were dense and chewy. I didn't have to remake them, so I just went. I warned everyone about them and advised them not to eat them and not to feel bad spitting them out should they in fact, eat one. Everyone took one out of politeness. I declined, saying "Don't say you weren't warned." The soup, everyone agreed was excellent. I do make a mean pot of chicken soup, if I say so myself - though for the first time ever, I cut everything up into spoon-sized pieces, which actually improved the soup because you got a bite of everything with every spoonful.

Then they dug into the matzoh balls, which they had to cut into with a knife. Everyone agreed that they looked and tasted right, but were decidedly dense. Truth be told, my friends are too nice - those matzoh balls were the wrongest matzoh balls, ever. Dale, the only Jew among us for our 'Jewish Food' dinner, joked that they were like Nibbler's poo... At least I know the soup was good. Next came a delicious and tender brisket; tsimmis; kugle and string beans in garlic. For desert: apricot; triple-berry and prune/raisin hammentaschen and black and white cookies. By the time we finished, we were all stuffed with yummy goodness. So despite the Great Matzoh Ball Fail of 2011, everything went well and we all fed each other way too much.

I have no idea what our next theme will be, but if it's going to be as good as the last few have been, I can't wait. 

I know I'm long overdue for a movie review, but D and I will be seeing Insidiouis one night in the coming week. But for now, just enjoy the Gayest Thing You'll See This Week (via); the hilarious anti-stereotyping video called "Gay Dude in Wrestling Singlet Talks About Barbra Streisand" (language NSFW):

More, anon.
Prospero