A November Cornucopia

Turn Off the Show

I'm still recovering from and dealing with the aftermath of Mom's passing (ugh - who knew there was so much to do after someone passes?), so I've been rather absent. But there is so much I want to talk about today that I had to post. So let's get started, shall we?

First, news from Broadway: In a scenario right out of a Mel Brooks movie, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (a show I've railed against since it was announced) will close on January 4th after having lost $60 million dollars. Playbill.com reports that the problem-plagued show (which cost $75M to mount and nearly ruined the career of director Julie Taymor) will leave many investors without seeing a dime in revenues. Taymor directed Disney's still-running biggest Broadway hit, The Lion King, but on-set injuries and a disjointed second act led producers to fire her (Taymor sued but the case was settled out of court). It got to the point where people were going to see the show in hopes of witnessing one of its many epic fails. Apparently, no one was going just to hear the rather lame score by Bono and The Edge. The show is so infamous, it even inspired and episode of "Law and Order: Criminal Intent." Still, it will live on in future Las Vegas and German productions, as well as a touring stadium show where some investors may recoup some of their losses. Good riddance to bad theatre, I say.

Next up, a story my sister, Dear D and sweet Mia will hate (sorry kids). Thanks to a video link on Towelroad, I have discovered one of the most interesting performers I've seen in quite some time. Puddles is a 7' tall sad clown with a rather amazing voice and range of styles. The video from revisionist cover band Postmodern Jukebox features Puddles as lead vocalist in a haunting cover of Lorde's "Royals:"

Intrigued. I looked up Puddles Pity Party, which led me to additional YouTube videos and this rather hilariously disturbing death-metal cover of Celine Dion's insipid Titanic theme, "My Heart Will Go On:"

Puddles has several other rather fascinating videos on YouTube, which I highly recommend to those among you who are decidedly not coulrophobic. While I truly admire his work, I can't help but feel a slight pang of jealousy at not being clever enough to come up with a character like that of my own. 

And finally, though hardly last, the still amazing gay icon Cher has given us what may well be the gayest music video ever, outside of an Adam Lambert song. The video for her latest single "Take It Like a Man," features some very hot guys in teeny-tiny Speedos, washing cars; diving off of sailboats and generally acting like they're in a soft-core gay porno. Muscles; tatts; twerking and bulges abound (not that I'm complaining):

Whew! I'm spent.

More, anon.
Prospero

Evil Clown Syndrome

Sorry D, just skip this one!

Whew! Had to get that off my chest, especially considering some of the images I'm going to be linking in this post.

Happy Shocktober! (lame, I know, but somehow apropos..)

So, October 1st is upon us and the Witching Hours have begun. The season gets into full swing tonight at midnight with Zombieland (my review late Friday/early Saturday). Paranormal Activity opens in Philly this weekend and I plan on seeing that next week-ish. Oh. And Trick 'r' Treat finally gets released on DVD. Can't wait for that, either.

But I'm tired of talking about those movies right now. I'm going to try an experiement and talk about different horror movies everyday for the next 31. Maybe not the most original idea, but something I've never attempted, before. Oh, I'll probably throw in a "Gayest Thing..." or a Marriage Equality post here and there. Hell, I may talk about Sci-Fi or TV, too -but those will be dual post days. My goal this month is to blog about my very favorite film genre every day, and discuss a different film or horror topic each day.

So, since I've got good ole Tim Curry as the most Evil Clown in the history of film up there, let's talk tonight about ECS (Evil Clown Syndrome). Clowns are strangely dichotomous in their iconic imagery. They are the only symbol that I can think of, which represents both laughter and terror. Clowns, fools and jesters have been around forever, making people laugh with their silly antics. But their usually exaggerated and surreal features just as often inspire tremendous fear. And when they are used to do so intentionally, the result is especially horrific.

Despite having a rather lame ending (in both the novel and the movie), Stephen King's It still managed to inspire terror in the hearts of coulrophobes around the world with Pennywise the Clown, one of the many manifestations of the "ancient evil" being lurking in the sewers beneath Castle Rock, Maine. Ridiculous giant spiders aside, Pennywise has undoubtedly become the first image people think of when you say "Evil Clown."

"You all taste so much better when you're afraid!" Indeed. And poor Tim Curry. A fine, fine actor and gifted comedian, best remembered for roles under which he wore tons of makeup. Yes, he's in the highly overrated Clue and the atrocious Steve Martin & Goldie Hawn remake of The Out of Towners. Conversely, he was brilliant as King Arthur in the original Broadway Cast of Spamalot (I know... don't bother pointing it out). But Film Geeks of my generation first knew Curry from this. See what I mean about the makeup?

Next on our Circus of Nightmares Clown Tour is a particularly nasty clown brought to us by Tobe Hooper via Steven Spielberg in an honestly creepy and original suburban ghost story by the name of Poltergeist:

I saw that movie with my sister (who, despite all my teasing, is the person with whom I will always prefer to see a movie, because we share the same eyes while watching them; one of our many unique connections) and we have both seen it so many times since, we can tell you what's happening from another room just by hearing the music in a dialog-less scene. I really should show it more love than I do.

Horror and Sci-Fi movies of the 1980's were all about physical effects - prosthetic make-up; multi-operator puppet servos; reverse processing and hour after hour spent in make-up. Perhaps the ultimate expression of those physical SFX was a very '80's Horror/Sci-Fi movie with an under-appreciated wry sense of humor, Killer Klowns From Outer Space:

What can I say? The '80's were weird.

Of course, the most recent Evil Clown to grace the Silver Screen won it's portrayer a (very sadly) posthumous (and well-deserved) Academy Award. Talk about icons... Let's hope it's another 20 years or more before anyone attempts this again:

Of course, professional clowns (and I know a few) think this is a horror movie (language NSFW):

The lady clown was LaWanda Page, Aunt Esther herself, in case you were wondering. And if have no idea who Aunt Esther and Ms Page were, you're so young I could cry...

There are plenty of other examples, but it's late, and I'm sure you get the idea. So, are you afraid of clowns? Do they merely creep you out or do they send shrieking and burying your head in your nearest friend's back? Or maybe you love them and have a huge collection that fills an entire room of your house. I always love your comments!

More horrors, anon.
Prospero

This Is a Christian?

(Via) comes the below video clip from MSNBC, which features an audio clip from a recent sermon by Arizona Baptist preacher Steven Anderson. It's a hateful, vitriolic piece of trash in which Anderson says that every night he prays that "...Barack Obama will die and go to hell."

What? Seriously?

Apparently, yes. I have to ask myself, has the man ever actually read the New Testament? I suppose he's only read the parts that talk about hating people and hoping they die.

Now, even though I do not consider myself a Christian (nor do I ascribe to any particular faith, as I have noted before), I have actually read the Bible (both the Old and New Testaments), and as far as I can recall, no where does Jesus ask his disciples to pray for anyone to die. In fact, I played Jesus once in a production of "Godspell," which was presented in the auditorium of a Catholic church. The ground did not open up and swallow me. I was not plagued by boils or locusts. I did not receive the "Mark of the Beast." I did, however, get a standing ovation at the end of each performance.

Here's the thing: If true Christians actually stopped to listen to (or read) the words in the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John; they would realize that nowhere does any of them mention homosexuality. The few Biblical references to homosexuality all occur in the Old Testament, and most scholars now agree that those passages are in place to scare people into reproducing little followers who will then grow up to produce more followers.

Watch the clip and tell me what you think:

I imagine (and hope) that if there is, indeed, a hell, there is an especially painful place for hatemongers like Anderson and the members of the Westboro Baptist Church, where they are all forced to have gay sex with demons for all eternity.

And, as a little side note, here's a funny bit (via) about roommate pranking that goes too far (please note: no actual aliens were harmed in the making of this video):

If I were a horrible human being (which I really hope I am not), I'd be playing similar pranks on my dear D, but with clowns (D - if you are reading this, do NOT click on that link!).

More, anon.

Prospero