Review: "Godzilla"

I saw a picture of one of those digital signs above a multiplex auditorium door that announces the title and show time: "GODZILLA - In IMAX" and under that, a very funny sign programmer added "Now with 100% Less Matthew Broderick." And thank goodness!

Fellow Kaiju fans, wipe the stench of Roland Emmerich's 1998 fiasco of a remake from your noses forever. Dry the disappointed tears of Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim from your eyes. Director Gareth Edwards (2010's indie fave, Monsters) and his team have crafted the modern Godzilla movie true Godzilla fans have been waiting for.

Writers Max Borenstein and David Callahan (The Expendables films) wisely don't try to give us an origin story and assume the events of 1954's Gojira did take place. 15 years after a catastrophic accident at a Japanese nuclear plant kills his wife n 1999 (not really a spoiler as that's part of the prologue), the plant's engineer Joe Brody (Bryan Cranston) is arrested for trespassing in the contaminated area, still looking for answers. When son Ford (Kick-Ass star Aaron Taylor-Johnson) arrives to bail him out, Joe convinces him the site is experiencing the same type of disturbances that preceded the last accident. Of course, his warnings come too late for Dr. Ichiro Serizowa (Ken Watanabe) to prevent the birth of an insectoid behemoth they soon dub a M.U.T.O. (Massive Unidentified Target Organism). Think of a cross between a praying mantis, a bat and steam shovel. When the MUTO's mate hatches in Nevada (it makes sense, trust me) their meeting place is apparently San Francisco, where Ford has just left his wife (Elizabeth Olsen) and young son. 

When the King of Monsters does show up, the Army drafts a plan to draw all three radiation-hungry monsters out to sea and blow them up, despite Serizowa's insistence that Godzilla has come to kill the MUTOs and restore nature's balance. There is, as in every great Kaiju movie, massive destruction (though this time it's Honolulu, Las Vegas and San Francisco that take the beatings) and an intense battle between three super-gigantic (Big G is at least 10 times his original size) monsters, two of whom should have known better. What little plot there is, mostly revolves around Ford trying to both save the world and get home to his family. Everyone seems to be having a grand time, despite the hyperbolic circumstances of the story. Cranston is as wonderful as always, while Juliette Binoche is wasted in a what amounts to a cameo as Joe's wife. But this is Taylor-Johnson's movie, and his beautiful green eyes (the same shade as my mother's) don't make up for the fact that he never takes his shirt off. Seriously though, it's nice to see an action hero outside of a Marvel movie who can actually act, despite not being given much more than genre tropes with which to work (not that those tropes don't serve the film - they are actually de rigeur.

The CGI is just terrific and the astonishing score by the prolific Alexandre Desplat really works to help Edwards paint moments of nearly silent terror in what could have been an ear-splittingly loud movie from start to finish (far from it). Expect Oscar noms for Sound, Sound Editing and Sound Effects on top of those for Special Visual Effects and Cinematography. My companion specifically requested that we not see it in 3D (his eyes are worse than mine) and I didn't miss it, per se, though I think I really need to see it again in 3D for the fullest effect.

For my first big Tent-Pole of the season, Godzilla  really had the potential to go either way. Thankfully it totally went the right way! Do yourselves a favor and see Godzilla on the big screen in a theater with a good sound system. **** (Four Out of Four Stars). Godzilla is rated PG-13 for "intense sequences of destruction, mayhem and creature violence."

I must admit, Godzilla was a very happy cap to Uncle P's most excellent weekend. It started with a completely painless purchase of a new washing machine (finally and thank His Noodly Appendages) at h.h.gregg. If you don't have them where you live, write them and ask them to open a store near you (that is a rare and completely unsolicited endorsement -- I have found that major appliance purchases are often painful, drawn-out affairs, but they were terrific). I then celebrated the last trip to the laundromat I ever want to take. That same evening, my dear K, who has been in a show for what seemed like forever, came over for cheese-steaks; "Will and Grace;" "Grimm;" "Face-Off" and Yahtzee! (I kicked her butt!) Today, after a thorough dusting, I made a very successful and yummy batch of mozzarella-stuffed meatballs and sauce for dinner and then met M for a terrifically fun movie! It's the little things... life finally seems to be getting back to (or gaining a new version of) some semblance of 'normal' in my life. That's a very good thing.

More, anon.

Prospero

TV Review: The Best of 2014 So Far

NBC's "Hannibal"

Some TV is so, so very good these days, especially for genre fans. And while I'm sad to see my beloved "Warehouse 13" come to a close (I was sadder about "Fringe," to be honest), I am happy to report that the envelope continues to be pushed by both brave network programmers and smart basic-cable presidents. The success of the most popular cable program of all time (do I need to spell it out?) on AMC seems to have inspired the competition.

NBC airs both it's best genre shows on Friday, traditionally a dumping ground for shows on the bubble. Still, "Grimm" and "Hannibal" are both fascinating and well-produced, which has made them "Must See TV," while holding their own in the ratings. The humor in "Grimm" makes it fun, while the exceptional art direction; bizarre, hallucinogenic dreams and the amazing cast of "Hannibal" make it so hypnotic. 

The picture above was found by a Facebook friend; a graphic artist who primarily creates Sci-Fi & Fantasy art for any number of clients. It is a picture of a meal Lecter made in season one. Click on it to make it bigger and really look at it. Do you see it? Top center of the plate, among the garnishes. Yes, that's a bird's skull. And don't the cheese and fruit slices look like a body with feathery greens for wings and pea pod legs? Oh, to be a food stylist on that crew! Now I have to go back and just look at pictures of the food. As they say, the devil's in the details. With just a few more episodes left of each show this season, I'm glad so many summer shows are coming back. Not to mention this Sunday's premiere of "Penny Dreadful."

This week also saw the season finale of A&E's "Bates Motel," and what a finale it was! SPOILERS AHEAD Now that the prolonged pot-wars plot of the modern reboot seems to have finally (albeit quite conveniently) played out, it looks like we can finally focus on Norman and his particular psychosis... Vera Farmiga continues to give television's best performance (sorry Jessica) and the amazing young Freddy Highmore matches her note-for-note. The final shot of the finale literally sent chills down my spine as we finally met the Norman Bates we've all come to know and love. 

Truth be told, the best show on TV right now is also the best new show, FX's astonishing "Fargo." I know I've already reviewed it, but four episodes in and it just gets better and better. Showrunner and writer Noah Hawley ("Bones") says that the Coen Brothers are hands-off, but you can tell everyone involved is all about making a show the Coens would make. Set in the same universe as the 1996 film, until this week's episode, it was only marginally connected. SPOILERS AHEAD The episode started with a flashback to young Stavros Milos moving his family to Minnesota out of desperation. After running out gas in the middle of nowhere and being nearly run over by an 18-wheeler, Stavros prays to God for help and promises to serve Him all his life. When he looks up, he sees a red snow scraper in snow along the fence in front of him. He begins to dig and finds... the money buried by Carl (Steve Buscemi) in the movie. As in the film, the cast of "Fargo" is incredible. Billy Bob Thornton is both terrifying and hilarious while Martin Freeman ("Sherlock;" The Hobbit) is astonishing as the poor schmuck who becomes a most unlikely villain. Alison Tolman ("Sordid Lives") gives a star-making turn as a frustrated young deputy thwarted by an incompetent chief (Bob Odenkirk) at every step. Colin Hanks; Kate Walsh; Adam Goldberg and Oliver Platt all lend stellar performances in this quirky, creepy, violent and exceptionally funny show.

 

Next up: The Worst TV of 2014 So Far.

More, anon.
Prospero

Food, Glorious Food?

Yes, It's Real!

Yes, that is a slice of scorpion pizza, which is supposedly for sale at the Calgary Stampede this summer. Fans of cable celebrities Andrew Zimmern, Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown have long seen scorpions and tarantulas offered up as street food snacks in Asian and South American countries. There are protein bars on the market made from cricket flour, while insects and arachnids are staples in many non-Western diets. I had chocolate-covered ants, once. It was like a Nestle Crisp bar. And I really don't mind the idea of cricket flour, as long as I don't feel legs and antennae in my mouth. That's the biggest problem I have with this pizza. I can only imagine it's like biting into an unshelled shrimp. UGH! I'd rather eat anchovies. And I LOATHE anchovies.* That very comment led to a discussion of fish (naturally) with a Facebook friend. Like myself, Pam doesn't eat much fish. 

For Uncle P, it's cod; flounder; shrimp; crab (in crab-cakes only), scallops and clams (fried only - which means I haven't had clams in forever); tuna, though NEVER hot! Nothing salty, slimy or fishy. Nothing unborn or unhatched and NEVER anything that has tentacles or is an eel of any kind. All seafood MUST be fully cooked, ONLY. Don't give me raw tuna and charge me $30 for a 'steak.' That's like paying for the flu. I will always prefer battered and fried, but have learned to like some things grilled and others broiled. If I MUST eat clam chowder, it's Manhattan style (I NEVER eat any kind of chowder). Oh, and I do like conch fritters with a nice remoulade or papaya chutney with a side of deep-fried dill pickle chips.

Last weekend, Uncle P and his regular band of foodies got together for yet another of our themed dinner parties. Thankfully, the theme was NOT 'Seafood.' It was, however, another particularly successful meal. Breakfast for Dinner included gigantic, fluffy waffles; sausage meatballs; bagels; a supper-yummy hash-brown casserole; citrus scones; clotted cream and assorted jams, preserves and syrups all topped of with pineapple/orange Mimosas. I haven't found a name for that particular combination, so if you think of a good one before I do, I'll give you full credit. My dish was a variation of a recipe I found on Facebook: a breakfast ring of eggs, cheese, veggies and pastry, served with salsa. The photo below does not include the final layer of cheese on the top. And no, it is NOT burnt on the right. My lame kitchen lighting makes everything look darker than it actually is. 

Uncle P's Breakfast Ring

On Tuesday, most of the first floor at the Day Job will be holding a Cinqo de Sies party (I know... ) and I was going crazy as to what to make. I needed something easy that didn't need heating. I found some pasta and beans and an interesting vinegar and decided to create a new recipe I call "Fiesta Salad." Too Corny? Too Martha? Too gay? I will say this: White Pineapple Vinaigrette. Yes, you read that correctly. I received it as part of a gift of several specialty vinegars from a local presser called "Olive n Grape." It seems to pair quite nicely with the peppers and green onions in the mix. If it's a hit, I'll share the recipe. If it flops, we shall never speak of this again.I think it's yummy, even if I undercooked the pasta by just a bit... More dressing will fix that, I hope... It has a while to marry.

I love to cook and love it when people like what I cook. I hate cooking for just myself. Tonight I tried a Parmesan-crusted chicken that was not bad but not what I'd hoped it would be. The brown rice and peas side-dish I made to go along with it wasn't exactly thrilling, either. I ended up toasting half an egg bagel and spreading it with butter and an all fruit raspberry preserve with fiber. That seemed to do the trick. 

Of course, despite all these carb-loaded meals I seem to be having, I have lost 16 pounds since October, without trying. My appetite seems to have diminished quite a bit and I rarely find myself finishing everything on my plate (and I NEVER go back for seconds anymore). I'm not sure if that's anxiety or a manifestation of grief or something else altogether. I take supplements (my sister finally convinced me to include CO-Q-10) and try to eat plenty of fiber and protein, though I'll admit I should eat more vegetables. And it's not that I don't like them. I do. But the way many markets package produce (I'm looking at you, asparagus) makes it difficult to by some of them for just one person. Packaged salads and greens go bad before I can use all of them and loose versions of the same products end up being even more wasteful. Ask the dried-out asparagus and nasty Brussels sprouts I just threw away. And don't tell me to can and/or freeze them. Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

*And my dear Q is allergic to them, so feh!

More, anon.
Prospero

Steam Punk'd

Can You Say 'Disappointment?'

It's no secret that I live in the Philly suburbs of Southeastern PA. It's also no secret that I am enamored of the Steampunk movement. Hell, this blog started with me posting about my Steampunk-inspired production of "The Skin of Our Teeth." I've always wanted to attend one of the big Steampunk events, most of which were held in cities far away and/or at times inconvenient for Uncle P to travel. So imagine my excitement when I discovered that Bucks County's very own arts community of New Hope was holding their first ever 'Steampunk Fantasy Faire.'

My college friend Deb, her husband Jon and their daughter Caitlin immediately jumped aboard; equally excited to attend our first real Steampunk event. We bought our tickets and were very psyched for the vendors, performing artists and events promised. We even arrived about an hour early to make sure we were able to both park and get in, spending about half an hour at a nearby McDonald's, nursing coffees and soft drinks. 

Finally, it was time. We made our way back up the hill to where the main events were being held. According to the brochures and the website, there were going be vendors; circus acts; comedy troupes; musicians and much more. Well, there were vendors (about 2 dozen or so) and a 'comedy' troupe that was funny by default. I bought a small picture frame (while coveting some other amazing items) and we watched a short, unoriginal and completely predictable film. Among the costumed participants was a rather imposingly large man dressed as Jason Vorhees. While his costume was spot-on, I had no idea what he had to do with Steampunk. The band we saw was quite good, though technical problems and noise from the vendors' area right behind made them hard to hear at times (I didn't understand a single lyric). The jugglers who accompanied them were in obvious need of more practice. They were followed by a 'comedy improv' group who were meant to be Steampunk Pirates of some sort, though it was quite obvious that none of them had spent enough time working with one another to present any sort of coherent act (much to the ironic amusement of my companions).

After a few hours we made our way into town proper, where we had an excellent lunch at Triumph Brewery and I ate what may well be the most delicious Turkey Melt I've ever had. After lunch, we headed down to the shops along Main Street, many of which were empty. I was actually saddened to see New Hope's halcyon days gone, with many of my favorite stores shuttered and/or replaced by inferior retailers.

Truth be told, this is the kind of entertainment we were hoping to find (as promised in the event's brochures):

Sadly, this was not the case. It seems that New Hope, once a cutting-edge, gay-friendly arts town has gone the way of Philadelphia's South Street. The once exciting and intriguing shops are gone (or on their way out), replaced by corporate retailers, Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. Ugh! Hopefully, the Steampunk World's Fair in Piscataway, NJ (also within driving distance of Uncle P) this May will prove to be a more satisfying event. Who wants to join me?

To be fair, this was the first time New Hope hosted such an event. And despite being rather disorganized and small, we all managed to have a good time. Let's see what they come up with next year...

More, anon.

Prospero

1st Ever 100% Accurate Fortune Cookie Fortune!

100% Accurate

This last week or so has been a rather emotional one for Uncle P, as you can probably imagine. While I'd been mentally preparing (without telling her, of course) for Mom's passing ever since the diabetic shock episode a few years ago, I really thought she'd be coming home again this time. I'm glad she's not in pain, anymore. The last few years, she was in increasingly miserable pain from arthritis, a botched knee replacement and all the other issues plaguing her. Just reaching for something would elicit a groan, grunt or yelp and I felt so bad for her.

Long-time readers and friends know how I feel about religion and an afterlife... And of course, the obvious explanation for what happened tonight is coincidence (or what Jung termed 'Synchronicity').  I suppose some exposition is needed here, so:

Needless to say, I haven't really been following my usual eating patterns for a while now and in the past week find myself eating less and less. Part of that is not wanting to bother making the effort to cook for myself. In the past month I've cooked chicken soup (which didn't turn out quite right) & hamburgers and reheated frozen meatballs marinara. Mostly, I have eaten out or had deli sandwiches, most of which have lasted for two or more meals. 

Tonight, once again uninterested in cooking, I ordered Chinese from my favorite take-out place, Wing Wah. We've been going and getting take-out from them for years. The food is consistently excellent, even if the atmosphere (why I prefer take-out) is less so. I had my favorite, Sesame Chicken. It was delicious as always but like most things I've been eating lately, half went into the fridge (which needs cleaning out - there's stuff in there from before Mom went into the hospital on September 8th). 

Then I opened my Fortune Cookie.

"You will be graced by the presence of a loved one soon."

My sister is scheduled to arrive at the Atlantic City airport tomorrow at about 11:00 AM, Eastern.

Intellectually, I know this is purely coincidence, despite the fact that this probably the first actual "fortune" I've gotten in a fortune cookie in a very long time. The last fortune I got was from a lunchtime cookie at work, 5 or 6 years ago. It read: "You will enjoy a nice piece of cake." Pretty non-committal, but likely, because who doesn't like and/or get a nice piece of cake now and then? Most of the slips of paper I and my friends have gotten on cookies have been statements, i.e. "Time is the healer of wounds, but love is the healer of hearts" Really? Ugh.

Emotionally? Well, that was a whole other story. Talk about dead-on! I took a picture with my phone (see above), posted it to Facebook and then called my sister. We both laughed at the coincidence, but there was that lizard-brain part of me that wanted to believe there was some meaning in a random piece of paper in a random fortune cookie that just may have well been given to some one who wasn't expecting a visit from a loved one. And I've just now decided that of course there was meaning to it. It had immediate meaning to me and my sister, it's coincidental nature notwithstanding. 

Still, I imagine it's probably the first and only 100% accurate fortune cookie fortune anyone has ever received. In fact, I'm going to have it custom framed with an engraved brass plaque which says just that. And I'll take joy in watching the people who get up close enough to read a tiny piece of paper I thought worthy of framing, and then sharing the story which goes along with it.

Ever had a fortune cookie fortune come true? Let me know in the comments. I so love hearing from you.

Mom loved Chinese food and was saddened a few months ago when her cardiologist told her she couldn't have it any more, because of the sodium. The old story of Buddha visiting Heaven and Hell comes to mind. It's nice to imagine Mom feeding and being fed with giant chopsticks. Maybe I should play the lottery numbers on the other side. I know Mom would say I should.

Namaste.

More, anon.
Prospero

Pasta Fongool!

Tortellini All Come From the Same Dough

Pasta, now? Really? So Guido Barilla (yes, Guido) blathered on about not wanting gay people to eat his pasta. And now we're all supposed to boycott Barilla pasta. 

I keep wavering back and forth on boycotts, simply because they don't usually work. However, as a statement of protest and displeasure, a boycott can draw attention to a cause. I don't remember that last time I had delicious Chick Fil-A sandwich. I have managed to find delicious frozen waffle fries and a home-recipe for the sandwich that's very close. 

Growing up, Mom was a San Giorgio user, if memory serves. Dad and I both preferred their rigatoni, because they "held the sauce." Dad also liked linguini. Unfortunately, he liked both of them cooked to death. The first time I had properly cooked pasta was revelatory. Mom's meatballs were the size of softballs, and while her sauce was delicious (she was taught by our Sicilian landlady when I was toddler), after Mom taught it to me, I tinkered with it and made it my own, finally learning realistic meatball sizes; spice and herb proportions; the best tomatoes and cheeses to use and make me proud to serve them. And while both my Dear D and the mysterious Italian superhero Pax Romano (both of whom I love, dearly) insist on mistakenly calling their tomato pasta sauce 'gravy,' my sauce kicks some serious ass and deserves a pasta which is worthy of its unabashed superiority. Yes, I am that proud of my meatballs marinara, bitches!

I have used both many dried and fresh pastas over the years. Of course, fresh is better. My Hungarian grandmother's homemade soup noodles were amazing! In my 20's, I would get fresh pasta from the product demonstrators when I worked in The Cellar. Those were pretty good, too. 

I don't actually remember when I first tried Barilla pasta. I'm sure it was because I had coupon. But I liked it and continued to like their whole wheat and Plus lines, which actually tasted a lot better than similar products from other companies (outside the more expensive imports and specialty brands). I have several boxes of Barilla pasta in my cupboards and my pantry. I'm not going to throw them out - that would be wasteful and stupid. The money spent on them is long their coffers and I don't know about you, but I can't afford to throw away perfectly good food.

Competitor Bertolli wasted no time in pointing out their inclusive advertising, As did "Fresh" (i.e. refrigerated) pasta-maker Buitoni. Bertolli has previously sponsored programming on the LGBT network LOGO: 

And then there was this Bertolli olive oil campaign with a mostly naked chef:

I initially balked at yet another boycott, but I can hear One Million Morons firing their tiny brain engines to organize both a boycott of all other pastas and a push to buy Barilla. I probably won't be buying any more Barilla. The search for a new whole grain pasta is on. Any and all suggestions are welcome. Medium Shells, Rigatoni, Penne, Elbows and Angel Hair preferred. Gay Foodie White Whine over.

More, anon.

Prospero

Hot, Gay, Shakesperean, Sci-Fi Food Nonsense

Chip Off the Old Block

How's that for a post title? To be perfectly honest, all of those do apply to this post overall, just not necessarily all at the same time. 

It's been a fairly stressful weekend culminating with my mother having what her Dr. described to me as a "small heart-attack." She will be fine and is scheduled for a cath procedure on Tuesday. I am also in the midst of rehearsals for a reading of a play with some dark and very close-to-home subject matter and have really been trying to avoid anything which didn't make me smile and/or laugh when I'm not forced to go dark places. 

And while I do so love the Fall season and Halloween (which is a fun kind of darkness), it also means dread Winter is close at hand. Like plants, I don't exactly thrive in the Winter, though extra Vitamin D supplements and the rich, fattening foods of the Winter holidays help.

Attitude plays a large part of it, too. It's my choice to wallow in the dark or shine my own light through it. I realize that's kind of cheesy and self-helpy or whatever, but it is 100% true. To do that, one should concentrate on the things in life that make it worth living: Beauty, Family, Friendship, Art, Laughter, Joy... These all counterbalance the truly dark stuff. And speaking of Beauty, that's Clint Eastwood's 27 year old son Scott (via) in a photo shoot for 'Town and Country,' Undeniably his father's son, Eastwood the younger has appeared in several unremarkable films, but is suddenly all over the web (especially on the LGBT blogs). I swear, the boy gives me the vapors!

So that's the Hot. On to the Gay. "Queer Lisboa," Portugal's only LGBTQ International Film Festival, has a history of amusing and provocative advertising. This year's is no different, though I imagine it has a certain anti-Semitic, homophobic has-been crying bitter tears of righteous rage:

J'adore, j'adore, j'adore... Yes, that's the Gay. What about the Shakespearean Sci-Fi? Well, hang onto your gay geek hats. The Husky Jackal Theatre Company presents: "William Shakespeare's Terminator the Second," a fully staged production of T2:Judgement Day using only dialog actually written by The Bard. The trailer embedded below is just an amazing bit of hilarious genius:

William Shakespeare Presents: Terminator the Second - Official Trailer from Husky Jackal on Vimeo.

Which leaves us with Food, but which also ties back to Hot (you know what that is). Here's an adorable shirtless guy (via) teaching you how to correctly pronounce the names of European and Asian foods which many Americans mispronounce. Don't know if it's his mischievous grin, deliberately messy hair, his infectious enthusiasm or the fact that it's actually educational that makes me love it so much. 

Oh, I remember now. It's his Treasure Trail. Wow! I just went there, didn't I?

I'm wishing all of you the better week I'm wishing for myself. Of course, one of my maternal grandmother's ('Grandmom Cookie') many colorful sayings was "Wish in one hand and sh*t in the other one and see which one fills up first." Never let the dark keep you from appreciating the light, the joy and the nonsense that is our time here. Instead, embrace the dark with the light, joy and nonsense. We need the dark to appreciate the light, joy and nonsense. Learning that is never easy.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Nonsense You'll See This Holiday Weekend

Yowza!

And a little more shameless self-promotion. But first:

Miley has nothing on another former Disney star who is turning up the sexual heat. That's Zac Efron (High School Musical) as a ripped fratboy in the upcoming movie Neighbors, which is about a couple of new parents (Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne) who are forced (huh?) to move next door to a college fraternity house. I knew (and even dated) some hot boys in college. None of them were this hot. Damn! The adorable young teen heartthrob has blossomed into a stone cold hottie, right before our eyes (and thankfully, the cameras). Of course, he now wants to be considered a 'serious' actor (Nicole Kidman peed on him, how much artier can one get?).  I don't know how much playing a college boy with an eight-pack in a raunchy comedy will do that for him. I just know he can come to my house and grill anything he wants. Hell, I'd even let him drink all my beer.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. Listen, Uncle P may be old, but I'm not dead! There may be snow on the roof, etc., etc., etc... To be honest, I have no problem with my neighbors' whisperings. It's only because they're jealous. Better a 'Cougay' than taking a dirt nap, eh?

And speaking of gay (wow, what a segue), openly gay horse trainer, performer and Discovery Channel reality star Jake Nodar has a very gay new video out called "Applause Recap" in which he not only appears in his own take on Lady Gaga's latest single, but may well prove that one should never Gaga while driving:

For more from Nodar, you can visit his YouTube page, here.

I spent my day cooking an old, all-day recipe of my grandmother's, which I only make twice a year because it takes so long. And honestly, if you're going to do that much work, you might as well make a big-ass (16 Qt) batch. We'll have it at least three more times this week and the rest will be frozen in smaller batches for future consumption. And of course, it only gets better the longer it sits... and it was already pretty danged amazing... a childhood comfort food that will always remind me of family and unconditional love. I'm so glad this not among the recipes Grandmom B took to her grave.

Oh, and if you missed yesterday's Malaprop Mom post, you should check it out. Apparently, MM's biggest audiences are in Russia, Poland and Latvia! I can only assume they are reading it to improve their English. I hope it doesn't confuse them, instead. 

More, anon.
Prospero

5 For; 5 Against: "World War Z"

Mireille Enos and Brad Pitt in World War Z

I'm back! After 5 1/2 days in Chicago (part business/part pleasure), I'm home and back online. I had a great time with co-workers and friends (met up with a High School friend and her husband who just happened to be vacationing there at the same time) and got to explore Hyde Park, a part of Chicago with which I was previously unfamiliar and apparently the home of the Obama family. I also got to visit the Shedd Aquarium and wade in the waters of Lake Michigan (the first time I've ever had my feet in a lake!) where I got to see not only many hot, mostly naked gay guys but got a look at the building where Bob Newhart lived with Suzanne Pleshette in the 70's. I ate lots of great food (Astoundingly delicious Pineapple Curry Shrimp at Chant; amazing -- and huge! -- Apple Pie at Clarke's and super yummy Rigatoni Bolognese at Pizza Capri). I also got to spend time with two terrific Chicagoans, at least one of whom managed to get me very drunk (at Scot's Bar) without taking advantage of me (though there were at least two other patrons I would have happily taken advantage of -- TMI?). Anyway...

And since July in Chicago is almost as intensely hot and humid as July in the Delaware Valley, I took yesterday afternoon to visit the new Harper Theatre in an effort to escape yesterday's oppressive heat (though I've found it much hotter, here at home).  There were several movies I wanted to see playing at the Harper, but I'd already promised to see a couple of them with other friends, so I settled on a movie I hadn't originally planned on seeing at all: World War Z. And since it's been out for a while and I'm still pretty exhausted from my trip (I need a vacation from my vacation), here's my "Jeep Guy" 5 For/Five Against:

Five For:

5. The movie takes little (if any) time getting started, though it should be obvious to any Philadelphian that Prague is a poor substitute for the real Philly.

4. There are some rather amazing SFX, including some very creepy zombies.

3. Director Marc Forster knows how to deliver an exciting action sequence.

2. Marco Beltrami's score is almost as perfect as his other works.

1. The truly international cast works well together, delivering some excellent performances despite the film's overtly silly premise.

Five Against:

5. World War Z is not a zombie movie. It feels more like an infection movie, much like Steven Soderbergh's Contagion. 

4. Brad Pitt (like many former Hollywood Hotties) is not aging well, and it shows (though that may well have been the director's intention).

3. Swarming zombies. Like the Marabunta ants in The Naked Jungle, the zombies in World War Z climb on top of one another to reach their prey, suggesting a previously unseen (and nonsensical) hive mentality presented in any other zombie movie ever made.

2. Matthew Fox is completely wasted in a role which could have played by any other day-player. 

1. This movie has little, if anything, to do with the novel on which it is based. Max Brooks' novel (which bored Uncle P to death) had no true through-narrative. Each chapter detailed the experience of a specific person in a different part of the world as told to a UN investigator after the events described. While the screenplay (by three writers, including "Lost" writer Damon Lindelof) attempts to draw the disparate elements together, it ultimately fails to thrill, scare or cause the audience to care about the non-ending.

I'm hardly surprised that I didn't actually like this movie, though I gave the benefit of the doubt. Eschewing the gore that is traditional to the genre (almost every zombie kill is made off-screen) and concentrating instead on the search for a cure, World War Z fails as a Zombie movie while almost succeeding as an Action Thriller. And while the truly International cast mostly proves themselves up to the task, we are left wondering exactly what the task was.

** (Two Out of Four Stars).



More, anon.
Prospero

Let's Play "Foodie, A-hole, Racist or Jerk!"

Eat This, Y'all

Wow. The Food Network continues to prove that their talent bookers have issues with vetting their stars. Their first scandal involved British chef Robert Irvine and his claims that he cooked for the Queen. That turned out to be a lie and Irvine was fired (though hired back again after he proved to be a fan favorite). Then 'Barefoot Contessa' star Ina Garten refused to cook with a cancer-stricken child whose Make-A-Wish wish was to do just that. Soon after, douchebag extraordinaire, Guy Fieri, was outed as a sexist, anti-Semitic, homophobic creep who can't look a woman in the eyes. And last week, photos of sexy British chef Nigella Lawson hit the web, being choked in public by her husband.

Today it was revealed that the network's most beloved star, butter-loving diabetic Paula Deen (pictured above) is a racist. Yup! During testimony in a civil trial, Deen admitted that she not only regularly uses the "N" word, but had actually hoped to plan a wedding using African-American wait staff pretending to be slaves! 

Holy crap! What the hell is wrong with the talent bookers at Food Network? They certainly don't seem to be doing a good job making sure their stars are worthy of stardom. If I were a Food Network exec, I'd be loosing my mind right about now. 

Can you imagine Julia Child embroiled in such a scandal? I know I can't. 

I have always had an issue with many of the people Americans venerate as "stars," especially in the age of so-called 'Reality TV.'  When chefs like Child; Friedman 'Chef Tell' Erhardt and Grahame Kerr made their marks on TV in the 70's, the world was a different place and any scandals in which they may have been involved (though I doubt there were any), weren't fodder for the Internet and anyone with a PC to see. They were about the food, and their quirky and delightful presentations.

Wanna be famous? Want adoring fans and tons of money for hosting a show or making public appearances? Then you better make sure you have nothing to hide. In the Information Age, everything is public and you'd better be prepared to face the consequences of your unsavory past. Or at least make sure that either your past isn't unsavory or be willing to embrace your unsavory past with grace and aplomb. 

Here's to your heart attack, y'all!

Let's not get into Deen's son Bobby and all the rumors about his sexuality (I'm no Perez Hilton) for now. I'm just asking that you be aware that the 'celebrity' you love, may not be the perfect person you might like to think he or she is.

More, anon.

Prospero

Failure and Inspriration

Cinnamon Hazelnut Mochachino Rolls w/Cream Cheese Icing

It's been a while since I've blogged about food and/or the Day Job; and since we do have an 'any excuse for a party' policy, tomorrow is NOT a Valentine's Day Party in deference to those without Valentines of their own. Instead, it's a Red Food Party. I had no idea what I was going to make and had several ideas bouncing around and finally settled on a chocolate version of a cream-cheese iced cinnamon roll. But when I went to buy my ingredients, I went in a slightly different direction. The recipe called for a certain brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread, but I found a new brand-name chocolate hazelnut spread and a mocha cappuccino version. I debated... and decided to go with the flashier flavor and went off-recipe, even adding an ingredient. And I'm not sure it worked. In the end, I didn't care for the flavor of the spread (it had an odd after-taste), though I loved the cream-cheese frosting, even though I forgot to add the red food coloring -- and now that I know how easy it is to make, I may try my hand at a carrot cake.* The rolls look pretty good (yes, that's an actual picture of my finished product, taken with my Android). Of course, the ultimate judges will be my co-workers. If no one eats them, I'll know they're a fail. I'll try them again in a smaller batch, according to the original recipe.

So, I know I promised you something inspiring and here it is (via) comes the below video, part of The Campaign for Southern Equality's WE DO campaign, in which LGBT couples across the South apply for and are denied marriage licenses in an effort to raise awareness of the need for Marriage Equality. 

Matt and Raymie apply (and are rejected for) a marriage license in Morristown, TN. Of course,the best parts of this clip are Raymie's sweet, heartfelt speech; their families' support and the sweet, smiling clerks who are obviously supportive. Get your tissues out, (because you're gonna cry, pervs!):

How much have you fallen in love with Matt and Raymie? So I guess I'm officially making Matt and Raymie my Valentines, this year. T and I have yet to have a second date -- thanks to Nemo (ugh!), so I thought I'd celebrate another couple's love, instead. Thanks guys, for making your voices heard; for showing the faces of true love; for giving all of us hope. I hope the two of you have a wonderful and romantic Valentine's Day.

*Uncle P's favorite cake, which his cake baker sister never makes him...

OH NOES!!!  MASSIVE FAIL!!!!

I took a small break from writing to get a drink and finish cleaning up the kitchen when I found I had made a fatal flaw! What I thought was a bottle of ground cinnamon was actually a bottle of ground cumin! No wonder I hated them! Here's a cooking lesson well-learned. Double Check the Label! And now I must make a trip to the grocery store for something on my way in. Crap! Double Crap! ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

More, anon.

Prospero

Philadelphia

Honestly... Not the Best Sandwich in America

Yesterday was K's birthday. She's 3 2 years older than Uncle P, but just like me, acts 10 (or more) years younger. Today, our two other BFFs (Q and Dale) treated K to a day in Center City Philadelphia, starting with a visit to the Reading Terminal Market and a stop at Tommy DiNic's for an Italian Pork Sandwich with Kohlrabi broccolirabe (voted 'Best Sandwich in America' by Travel Channel's cute bear Adam Richman). Yes, the roast pork was delicious, but the kohlrabi broccolirabe was cooked with some rather intense garlic, which made the sandwich a bit too garlickly to be actually good. I saved half and will remove most of the kohlrabi broccolirabe before I eat the rest. Truth be told, I've had a better sandwich at any number of more local places.

We wandered about the very crowded market for another hour or so and I ended up buying some delicious local cheese; a jar of seedless blackberry jam; an amazingly delicious black cherry balsamic vinegar and a homeopathic remedy for my poor mother's increasingly painful night leg cramps. I also got to taste a sample of an astoundingly delicious Maple/Bacon cupcake, which found both Dale and myself in foodie heaven.

Afterwards, we made out way to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which I haven't visited in a very long time. We wandered about the first floor which houses the museum's collection of Modern Art (much of which confounded K - and some of which confounded Uncle P) and then made our way up to the second floor. There we found some amazing and intricate Renaissance and early Dutch; English and American art and furniture. Nearly exhausted from all the walking, eating and carrying-on, we made our way home having spent a day with people we love very much... and that's what really mattered in the end. 

Between last night's rather wonderful date and today's visit to the very nearby Cradle of American Democracy, this weekend has proven to be one I will remember for quite some to come. Of course, tomorrow will involve involve bill-paying, grocery shopping, house cleaning and laundry... a bit of a let-down from what's come before. But I'm not complaining.

More, anon.
Prospero

Dinner, Gifts and Time with Dear Friends.

(Not Uncle P's Meatballs)

So... last Saturday's snow/rain/sleet storm prevented Uncle P from having a holiday dinner and gift exchange with some of my oldest and dearest friends, with whom I get together every few months for a culinary experiment. This time we weren't taking any chances, but planned a simple and traditional Italian meal of lasagna and meatballs. Luckily, both freeze well and we were able to reschedule for tonight.

Mary's lasagna was just delicious and 17 of Uncle P's 18 rustic meatballs marinara were consumed by the seven of us. Of course, Q's delightful salad with thick, sweet Black Walnut Balsamic and Deb's amazing red velvet cupcakes made it a rather amazing meal. 

After dinner, those of us who hadn't already done so, finally got to exchange our Holiday gifts (I loved everything I got). Of course, as always with this particular group of friends (most of whom I've known for well-over 30 years), the meal and gifts are a far distant second to spending time together. Spending time with these six very dear friends (and a few others) helps make the mendacity of everyday life less so. I hope you have some equally amazing people in your life who make it better just by being a part of it.

Tomorrow I will be having my last gift exchange of the season, when Dear D and I meet for a matinee showing of Skyfall (which I'll be reviewing tomorrow night), followed immediately by drinks and yet more gifts.

I hope your weekend is as good as mine has been (and promises to continue to be). I'll try and recreate my aborted "American Horror Story" post from last night on Monday, unless something else catches my attention between now and then.

More, anon.
Prospero

Cooking with Alcohol

Drunken Desserts

So regular readers know that Uncle P gets together with a group of dear friends from college every couple of months for a themed dinner party. We've had ethnic nights (our very first such dinner was 'Homemade Chinese,' if I remember correctly); chocolate and vanilla; all soups; vegetarian; 'Everything Garlic' and 'Cinqo de Mayo,' to name just a very few. Not all of them have been successful though lately, we've been batting 1000. The list of what we've done in past 25 years or so, is starting to outnumber the things left on the list to try. I know we still have 'Man Food' and 'Carnival Treats' (among several others) left to try.

Tonight's theme was 'Cooking with Alcohol.' We started with appetizers: Beer Bread with Guinness & cheese dip and Drunken Wienies in Rum Sauce. Delicious and decadent. Soup was a shrimp bisque (my least favorite part of the meal - I'm not big on seafood dishes, especially soups) followed by the main course: Coq au vin, meatballs in a red wine marinara, beer-battered asparagus with horseradish remoulade and spinach sauteed with bacon, onions and white wine (the veggies were my contribution). All of it delicious and filling, though we were hardly done.

The drunkest part of our drunken dinner was dessert. While the alcohol had basically been cooked out of most of the food we'd eaten so far, dessert proved to be a whole other beast. There was a Walnut Caramel Pie with Port-infused Cherries; Rum-soaked Fruit Salad; 'Shots O' Cupcakes' and Pecan Bourbon Balls (both of the latter pictured above). The pie was yummy and the cupcakes divine (they had Bailey's and Jameson in the icing) but the Bourbon Balls were both delicious and powerful. The first bite was good, but the second hit you like a double shot and warmed the esophagus all the way down. More than one of those bad boys and I don't think I'd have been able to drive home.

Of course, the food is secondary. The point is an evening spent with people I have known and loved for a very long time. Those evenings are always too few and too far between, making them all the more precious when we do get to have them.

I came home and logged onto Facebook, where my buddy Pax Romano had posted about his meatloaf dinner, which made me sort of sad that our dinner parties are never quite like this:

Oh, who am I kidding? They're all just like that!

More, anon.
Prospero

Vote! Our Lives Depend On It!

These Are Your Choices

As September of 2012 draws to a close and Shocktober looms, this will probably be my last political rant until until November. And while I realize that the vast majority of my readers are either gay or gay-friendly, I know of at least one formerly Democratic lady friend who is planning on voting for Mittens, even though his views on women are 60 years behind the times and his stance on LGBT rights is downright Draconian. MML has been fooled by the Teapartiers and the Obama haters into believing that our current President has failed and is somehow convinced that a return to the same elitist policies of the Bush administration will somehow save the country. I call 'Bullsh*t' on that nonsense.

Given the disastrous mess Obama inherited from his "Good Ole Boy" predecessor, he's kept more campaign promises (Healthcare Reform, saving the US Auto Industry and the end of DADT, among them) than anyone since Clinton. And if the Republican-held Congress hadn't fought him on just about every other reform he wanted, I probably wouldn't be ranting right now. 

So here's the thing: Do you want a progressive; forward-thinking; inclusive and compassionate man running the country and solving even more of our problems, or would you prefer someone whose dubious religious convictions lead him to hate women and gay people, even though he has no problem lying to satisfy whoever happens to be interviewing him at the time? Do you want to move forward or backward? Do you want to promote the subjugation of women and sexual minorities, or do you want equal rights for everyone? Are you an a-hole or a decent human being? Do you really think that 8 years' worth of crap can be cleaned up in 4 years? If you answered "yes" to any of those questions, I really feel sorry for you. You might as well go give Ann Coulter a BJ.

If I can't convince you, maybe these folks can:

Vote, folks! Vote as if our lives depend on it, because they do. Stop the right-wing, misogynistic homophobic tea-baggers from turning the greatest democracy in history into a theocratic oligarchy. I have honestly never been more passionate about a Presidential election in my life. And it's because I truly fear that a Romney administration would be the most detrimental administration in U.S. history.

Okay - Deep breath. Another rant over (for now). Back to my usual nonsense, soon. I have another themed dinner party tomorrow ("Cooking with Alcohol" - I'm making Beer-Battered Asparagus with a horseradish remoulade and Sauteed Spinach with onions, bacon and white wine). I'll be reporting on the rest of the meal once my friends and I have eaten it.

More, anon.
Prospero

When an Old Favorite Disappoints

Veal Parmigiana

A local institution here in Lower Bucks, Georgine's has been a family favorite for many years. They even catered my sister's wedding. The food was consistently good and the portions outrageously huge. I can't count the number of times my family and friends have shared good food and good times there. They are particularly famous for their French onion soup and their milk-fed veal parmigiana, which always fills (and often over-flows) the plate. 

It has been several years since we've eaten there, so when my sister and the BIL came up from FL today and wanted to go out for dinner, Sis suggested Georgine's, which our mother and I both agreed was an excellent choice. I had a very tiny lunch today, in anticipation of the soup and veal. By the time we were seated, I was practically salivating. 

We ordered. Mom and I ordered cups of the French onion, while BIL ordered a bowl of it, along with a cup of the seafood bisque. Mom got an appetizer for her entree: a crab and spinach stuffed portobello cap. BIL ordered the seafood platter while Sis got a chicken dish and I ordered the veal. When the soup arrived, we dug in only to be surprised and disappointed to find it extremely salty and lacking in actual onions. This wasn't the delectable treat we remembered. Then came our entrees. Sis reported that her chicken (with tomatoes, mushrooms and a cream sauce) was good, though BIL said his clams casino tasted weird. Mom enjoyed the crab, but thought the mushroom was "vinegary" and my veal parm, while huge, was so salty, I could barely taste the meat. 

We left full but unsatisfied and, after a short discussion, decided that our memories of the food we'd had there before weren't faulty. Now, restaurants change chefs. It happens. But Georgine's prides itself on using the same recipes they've been using since they opened (those belonging to the long-deceased Georgine, herself).  time-honored recipe shouldn't be tinkered with or changed (unless it results in an improvement). I have no idea what actually happened tonight but I do know the food we were served was not the food we had come to love. 

So, my question is: Should we give Georgine's another chance or just give up and find a new favorite? Have you had a similar experience at one of your favorite restaurants? What did you do? Inquiring minds want to know. Leave me your answers in the comments.

More, anon.
Prospero