Thursday, June 30, 2011

Getting My Bearings Back

That's me, the nut on the ground with his brains being eaten by zombie nuts (he-he - I said "zombie nuts").

This year's JTMF show was a tough one. I had an inexperienced actor who needed to be alternately coddled, yelled at and occasionally physically dragged into giving what ended up being a very fine performance; we had smaller than usual crowds and to be honest, I'm not getting any younger...

I'm very much looking forward to the upcoming 3-day weekend, if only to get some much-needed rest. Of course, I'll also be catching up on the housekeeping duties I neglected the last several weeks. My house and my car are both a mess and while my fridge is full, much of what's in there are ancient leftovers sorely in need of being deep-sixed. My tomatoes need weeding; a post out front is in desperate need of a paint job; there is a pile of bills that need paying; a graduation gift that needs to bought and a million and four other things... Of course, your list is probably just as long. Still, I'd love to say "Screw it!" and head down to Rehoboth or up to Provincetown for three days of debauchery, though how that would help me feel less tired, I'm not sure. I do have a vacation coming up at the end of July, part of which I'll be spending in Chicago, finally meeting one of my Stephens (among other things). Oh - and I'll be entering a new decade in a few weeks... Yikes! Why do I still think I'm 25?

All in all, I guess I could do worse this weekend. I could still be working in retail.

By the way, Caliban's Revenge will soon be celebrating it's 4th Anniversary (I can hardly believe it) and I have a few fun things planned, including my annual list of Movies that Need to Be Remade. I can't wait to see how this year's list differs from the very first one in 2008.

And on that note, I'll leave you with this pro Marriage Equality ad from 2008 (via):

More, anon.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I Heart NY

It's not that I've been avoiding this subject. It's just that I've been busy with a few other things.

We actually first heard about New York's passage of Marriage Equality at the cast party on Friday. We all cheered and applauded, but we were so caught up in our own celebration that we really didn't have the chance to consider what the passage of this bill actually meant.

Like California, New York is often a major indicator of how many states will conduct business in the coming year. Of course, that doesn't mean we can expect state after state to fall in line. Afterall, marriage is still a derisive subject in most places, even if recent polls indicate that most Americans have come to their senses and approve of Same Gender Marriage.

Still, there are plenty of asshats out there like NJ Governor Chris "I am not a fan of gay marriage" Christie and the hateful Maggie Gallagher of NOM who just can't seem to be able grasp the concept that who anyone else marries has absolutely zero effect on who they marry. Gallagher and her evil comrade Brian Brown insist that children will be forced to be taught that gay marriage is 'normal,' thereby scarring them for life and/or indoctrinating them into the 'gay lifestyle.' I have some news for these idiots - no one is indoctrinated. I was born gay, and so was every other gay person I know. Honestly, who would deliberately chose to join the single most hated minority on the planet? Of course, their response to that question is "Perverts and sickos." But really, what could possibly be more perverse than denying someone the right to love? (Those links are mean, and I almost apologize for them).

I started this post last night, but got so angry about these bigots (and there's no denying that that's exactly what Christie, Gallagher, Brown and their ilk are), I had to stop writing because I had become almost as vitriolic as they are. Sadly, these tiny-brained people don't recognize that the issue isn't just about legal rights. It's about love. These ignoramuses think that gay people are incapable of true love. One of them - I don't remember which, at the moment - has been quoted as saying that " men have 500 to 1000 sexual partners over their lifetimes." Really? I mean, I know of actual porn stars who have had fewer partners than that and they're getting paid for it.

I know I am preaching to the choir here, but the louder we sing, the more we're heard. For Uncle P, this issue is far less about politics or religion and all about love. And exactly how is that bad? I have yet to hear a satisfactory answer to that question, nor do I expect I ever will.

More, anon.

Monday, June 27, 2011

It's a Good Kind of Tired

Well, as promised, I'm back... just not without tons of pictures. And really, really tired. But the pics are forthcoming (as soon as I figure out how to open the files the photographer sent me). For now, you'll have to do with a repeat of our publicity photo of the cast.

And what a cast! I know I already crowed about them, but I have to give credit where its due... these six amazing actors deserve 80% of the credit for the artistic success of Die Mommie Die! The other twenty percent is probably evenly divided between my lighting designer, sound designer, costume designer and myself (I have to take some credit - it would be disingenuous not to).

The Friday night house was good. They were ready to laugh and ready to give, scarfing up most of the silent auction items offered that night. They found the show hilarious (a co-worker told me her face hurt from laughing so much) and were generous at the donation jar, too.

But Friday's real highlight came after the show at the 'official' cast party. First, some background: You all know Dear D by now (by reputation, if not by face). He's a truly gifted actor and all-around great human being. He's always ready to help out with carpentry (his bread and butter) and goes along with whatever crazy idea we have for him (this year it was a huge rubber "appliance" stuffed down the right leg of his very tight costumes). D set a new JTMF record this year with 7 consecutive performances, starting with 2005's production of The Altruists.  Because of all that, Tracy and I wanted to do something special for our dear friend. D is almost as obsessed with movies as I am (though our ideas of a "good" movie aren't always the same). D's favorite movie of all time is Rocky. In fact, he'll watch almost anything with Stallone, over and over again (except maybe Judge Dredd or Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot, which even he admits is awful). Anyway, at the party we (Tracy and I) presented him with a token of our appreciation: a boxing glove signed by Stallone, complete with Certificate of Authenticity. He cried. We cried. Everyone else cheered.

Sadly, Saturday night's crowd was the polar opposite of Friday's: small, unwilling to laugh out loud and cheap. Only one silent auction item went and the donation jar was pitifully low on cash. The cast carried on, working their asses off for whatever laughs they could garner from the tiny crowd. I felt terrible for them, working so hard for such little response. Highly dispirited, we left the theatre early and while a few of us stopped for a drink, most just went home.

Then came the Sunday matinee. The crowd was huge! We decided to run the silent auction (not something we normally do on Sunday) and sold 6 big-ticket items. The audience was massively responsive and my cast got to close the show on a very high note. So, like every JTMF benefit, Die Mommie Die! was a mixed bag containing artistic satisfaction for myself, my cast and my crew, while raising funds for three important causes. As soon as I figure out what's wrong, I'll post photos, so I suppose this is actually the penultimate Die Mommie Die! post.

Because they deserve to be recognized again, the people in the picture above are: [standing, L to R] David Hamm (Angela Arden); Kathy Garofano (Bootsie Carp) and John Devennie, Sr,. (Sol P. Sussman), [seated, L to R] Matty Daley (Lance Sussman); Damian Gaeta (Tony Parker) and Kelly Reilly (Edith Sussman).

It's still not too late to help. You can make a safe and secure donation via PayPal at or buy a ticket in December when we present A Christmas Carol: The Radio Play.

More, anon.

Friday, June 24, 2011

It's Officially Opening Night! - My Last (?) Pitch for Your Money...

Well, we all made it through another Hell Week. And trust me, a lot of it was hell and nonsense (and not in the good Monty Python/Lewis Carroll/Mel Brooks kinds of way). But that's all gone and will never be
spoken of or written about in a single iota of detail. It's just all part of the drama that is depicted in every movie about Show Business ever made. Could there be anything more appropriate for a parody of 1960's Bette Davis thrillers, then? In any event, I find myself really wanting to brag about everything in this show that had very little to do with me.

Yes, I may have told the actors where to stand; when and how to walk (and to where); when to sit; when to and how to turn. But that's just mechanics. They did the hard work - creating real people behaving very badly in absurdly exaggerated circumstances. And they have. And not only that, they have mastered some very complicated comic stage business and... unusual costume challenges while creating these very real (though outrageously dysfunctional) people. I love each and every one of them (actors and characters) very, very much! D: D.C.: Matty; Kelly; John and K -- "Thank You" isn't enough!

Then there's our Costumer, Ruth Rittman of Ritzy Costumes, who always understands exactly what I want and how to find and/or make it so brilliantly. Her 60's Mod Glam costumes are spot on - colorful, amusing and just gorgeous! Ruth's costumes not only evoke the period, but the actors look gorgeous in them. And there is my genius Sound Designer Judi Parrish, who always managed to stay 3 steps ahead of me, taking her own notes that matched mine exactly. Next, my Tech Director/Lighting Designer, Bob Terrano who also always knows what I want and delivers even more. And even though he already got thanked, to Dear D again, for the so very lovely and super-appreciated carpentry work. And Amy Bessalieu, who never seems to never be confounded by how to build the props ask for, no matter how unusual they may be. And anyone else who contributed; is contributing or will contribute to this year's event.

Finally, but oh-so-far from least, my Producer and friend Tracy Antozzeski, founder of the JTMF. She makes herself crazy while I and the cast always make her even crazier. She may bitch and complain (half real and half joking) but she does so much for so many people... and I think  -- no, I know -- we are each other's voices  of sanity every year (though our definitions of "sanity" may not always be the same). I want to be her when I grow up.

And to be completely honest, Uncle P isn't afraid of eternal suffering by taking pride in yet another  hilarious and intensely satisfying JTMF show. So in celebration of the end of my duties as director, here's a potentially hyperbolic (though heartfelt and really true) bit of copy:

"Die Mommie Die!" is HILARIOUS! The cast is AMAZE-BALLS! Spend a week of sex; drugs; murder; mayhem and innuendo in Hollywood during the 'Summer of Love!' Don't miss this insanely warped comic thriller from Tony-nominee Charles Busch, author of "The Tale of the Allergist's Wife;" "Vampire Lesbians of Sodom" and "Psycho Beach Party."

Performances are tonight and tomorrow, June 24th  & 25th and Sunday, June 26th. The Friday and Saturday performances include a catered reception and Silent Auction, featuring items donated by both local and national merchants and artists. This year's items include designer handbags, original works of art and signed celebrity memorabilia. The Friday &; Saturday reception and bidding open at 7:00 PM; Curtain is at 8:00.  Curtain for the Sunday performance is at 2:00, and does not include the reception or silent auction.

Tickets are $25.00 for the Friday & Saturday shows; $12.00- $16.00 for the matinee. Tickets can purchased online at; by phone at 609-570-3333 or at the Kelsey Box Office, one hour before curtain. If you can't attend but want to support the JTMF and our beneficiaries, you can make a safe and secure donation via PayPal at our website:

Now the serious reasons why you should attend or contribute:

HIV/AIDS is still a pandemic. Arts education funding in is being cut. Children are literally being bullied to death. 100% of our ticket sales go to our beneficiaries: The Opens Arms Foundation, The James Tolin Memorial Scholarship and The Trevor Project. Besides, parades and debauchery can be had almost any time of the year. Celebrating Pride with the JTMF is always a good time.

I'll be back on Monday with (hopefully) lots of pictures to share with those of you who couldn't be there. But if you can, see it live. I promise you'll never forget this one. I know I won't.

More, anon.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Hell Week

I know at least a few of my regular readers are "theatre folk" who understand the phrase "Hell Week" all too well. For the uninitiated, Hell Week is the last week of rehearsal before a stage show opens. This is the week when everything we've been working towards for the last few months has to come together in a cohesive piece which can be both understood and appreciated by the audience members who have plunked down their hard-dollars and expect to be entertained in exchange for said hard-earned dollars.

It's when the acting; scenery; props; costumes; sound; lighting and makeup all have to line up to create a play. And its when a director (in this case, Uncle P) finds himself torn in a thousand directions at the same time; answering questions from dozens of collaborators while still trying to make sure his or her actors are still doing what he or she wants them to do; not to mention stroking the egos of said collaborators and actors so no one goes ballistic and sends the whole production into the toilet.

Of course, Hell Week for a JTMF show is a little different. In a JTMF show, egos are set aside because everyone knows the reason we're doing what we're doing isn't the show but rather the causes that the show supports.  100% of our ticket sales go to support the thee charities we hold dear to hearts: The Open Arms Foundation, The James Tolin Memorial Scholarship and The Trevor Project. The proceeds from our silent auction (and cash donations) are used to fund the upcoming year's show.

After nine years, we (the JTMF family) are pretty good at managing Hell Week, though it's still a stressful and occasionally painful time period. As they say, "The Devil's in the details" (hehe).

Hopefully, Hell Week for Die Mommie Die! will not be as painful as this movie seems to be from its trailer:

Yeah, it looks like that movie was made in a week. Yikes!

Tickets to the JTMF production of Charles Busch's comic thriller Die Mommie Die! are available at or by calling the Kelsey Theatre box office at 609-570-3333.  If you cannot attend but want to help, a secure online donation can be made via PayPal at

More, eventually...

By the way, did anyone see this week's "Law and Order: Criminal Intent"? If you've been following the Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark nonsense for the past year or so, you'll appreciate it.


Saturday, June 18, 2011

TV Review : "Teen Wolf"

I'm not sure when MTV changed from being all about music videos to being all about really bad "reality" shows. I had pretty much stopped watching the cable channel long before "The Real World" premiered in 1992. In 1999, the network gave us their first scripted show, the 'naughty' soap "Undressed." It lasted 6 seasons, but barely made a blip on my radar. I knew it existed, but never saw a single episode. Most recently, their version of the UK hit "Skins" caused a flap for its depictions of young people having sex, with many claiming it went beyond exploitation and flirted with actual child pornography. It was recently announced that MTV has canceled "Skins." Again, I never saw a single episode. And don't even get me started about "The Jersey Shore," which managed to ruin my childhood memories of Seaside Heights forever...

When MTV announced last year that they were re-booting the rather silly 1985 Michael J. Fox comedy Teen Wolf as a series, I laughed and thought "Yeah, right. That will be good..." Then I heard they were giving the property a 'serious' treatment and I have to admit, I was intrigued. So I found MTV on my provider's guide, set my DVR and hoped for the best. Now that I've seen three full episodes, I'm glad to report that the re-booted "Teen Wolf" is actually kind of fun and not bad at all.

Scott McCall (cutie-pie Tyler Posey) is a typical nobody in his small, northern California  town's high school. He spent the last season on the lacrosse team's bench and wants nothing more than to actually play this year. His BFF Stiles (Dylan O'Brien), is the Sheriff's son. When Stiles learns that half of a body has been found in the local woods, he convinces Scott to join him on a night-time search for the corpse's other half. Big mistake.

After getting separated form his buddy, Scott not only loses his inhaler in a deer stampede and stumbles upon the upper torso of a savaged woman's body, but is bitten by what appears to be a wolf. The next day, Scott can suddenly hear conversations from afar, no longer needs his inhaler and can apparently heal with miraculous speed. Stiles does some online research (we don't know if he used Google or Bing) and promptly pronounces Scott to be a lycanthrope. Of course, Scott scoffs until he's angered during lacrosse tryouts and finds his athletic acumen has also been boosted. Scott has also fallen for new girl Allison (Crystal Reed) and run afoul of the team's douchey captain, Jackson (Colton Haynes).

Produced by Russell Mulcahey ("Queer as Folk"), "Teen Wolf" is a smart and suspenseful take on the sub-genre, featuring some excellent performances from a young and attractive cast; smart writing that utilizes the idea of a werewolf as a metaphor for pubescent change without hitting the audience of the head with it (much like the Canadian Ginger Snaps films) and has a genuine reverence for the all the werewolf movies that have come before. Most refreshingly, the transformations don't involve tons of CGI or makeup - Scott's wolf persona is lupine without going full-on wolf; using fangs, claws and elongated facial features to create a beast that's much more human than canine. And in the most recent episode, a transformation is hidden behind a corrugated glass screen, allowing for some rather clever effects.

The adorable young Posey ("Brothers and Sisters;" "Lincoln Heights") is perfectly cast as a young man who has to hide a terrible secret while dealing with girls, high school and a part-time job at a veterinary clinic and O'Brien is adorkabley funny as the second-banana. Reed evokes Legend's Mia Sara as Scott's love interest (and daughter of werewolf hunter), while Tyler Hoechlin (The Road to Perdition) practically seethes as Derek; the hot, mysterious and experienced werewolf with a seedy past who wants to take Scott under his wing and teach him how to control his lycanthropic urges.

There are certainly better summer shows on cable ("The Closer;" "Psych;" and "Royal Pains," among others), but genre fans won't be disappointed by the clever and well-produced "Teen Wolf." **3/4 (Two and Three-Quarter Stars Out of Four).

More, anon.

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Night of R&R

That cutie-pie looks well-rested, doesn't he? Tonight is the first of my last 2 nights off before "hell week" begins for Die Mommie Die! I caught up on my guilty pleasure, "America's Got Talent" (three weeks in, and still no successor to Prince Poppycock, but there's still time) and not-as-guilty pleasure "The Glades," a Florida-set police procedural starring the very adorable Matt Passmore on A&E. 

Tomorrow will be a day for shopping, housework and more mind-clearing entertainment. I had flirted with the idea of seeing Green Lantern but after reading numerous bad reviews, I decided to wait for it OnDemand. I mean, why bother seeing the Sexiest Man Alive when his perfect physique is covered up in a CGI costume?

Most of my work with the cast of Die Mommie Die is done... There will be some minor tweaking here and there, but the bulk of my attention will now be on the technical aspects of the show: lighting, sound, set, costumes and makeup. Of course, most of the actors are ready - they just need an audience to feed them energy. The set will go up Sunday and Monday. My lighting designer is a genius who I trust implicitly (and who, after several years of working  together, knows exactly what I want) and the sound designer has been three steps ahead of me all the way. The costumer is a genius with needle and thread and I'm doing the main character's makeup myself, so I think we're pretty good to go. Directing a show is probably the closest a man can come to giving birth... While my physical pain is certainly far less than a woman's in labor, my angst is probably off the charts. At this point, I just have to breathe.. 

I'll leave you with this, apropos of nothing, except that it makes me smile (and a little angry):

More, anon.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Hey! I'm a Guest!

Check me out over on Pax Romano's blog for "Homos Who Love Horror and the Non-Homos Who Love Them," Billy Loves Stu.

Pax loves horror movies even more than I do (is that possible?) and this month he is celebrating Pride and Horror with interviews and guest posters and all sorts of wonderful things.

If you've never visited Billy Loves Stu, you should. It's always a good time. Pax is a fellow Jersey boy and all-around good guy. And by the way, if you don't get the title of Pax's blog, I suggest a full course of Wes Craven movies to remedy that...

More, anon.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Final Stretch

Are you sick of seeing that poster yet? 

Tomorrow starts the last two weeks of rehearsal before Die Mommie Die! opens on June 24th. I'm frantically trying to find appropriate music for the show as well as Mid-Century furniture for the set. Props are being gathered, purchased and/or made; lighting is being designed and costumes finalized. 

In other words, don't expect to hear much from me in the next two weeks, except maybe on the JTMF blog (though I may pop up on another blogger's blog -- more on that when and if it happens).

If you're in the Philadelphia/Trenton area and want to see a very funny show and support several very good causes, try and see Die Mommie Die! If you're a reader of mine, you're sure to love it.

Tickets are available at If you can't make it to the show (though we'd much prefer you did) but want to make a donation, you can do so via PayPal at our website

I'll drop a note or two when I can. You know I'm not one who can keep his mouth shut for long.

More, anon.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Review: "Super 8"

J.J. Abrams gave the world "Lost," a TV show with the most complicated mythology ever. It had monsters and weird science and even time travel. People either loved it or loathed it. I, for one, adored it. Having spent most of his career as a writer/producer/director in TV, Abrams made his feature film directing debut with 2006's Mission: Impossible III, followed by his terrifically fun reboot of Star Trek in 2009. Last year, Abrams teamed up with the creator of the Summer Blockbuster, Steven Spielberg to make Super 8.

It's the summer 1979 and a group of friends are helping their buddy Charles make a zombie movie for a Super 8 Film Contest. Joe (Joel Courtney) is the makeup and sound guy. Joe builds Aurora monster models and uses tips from the Dick Smith book 'Movie Monster Makeup' to create his zombie effects. And he just lost his mother in an industrial accident at the small town Ohio steel plant where she worked. Alice (Elle Fanning) is brought in to play the new character Charles just added, much to Joe's not-so-secret delight. When the friends, including Cary, Martin and Preston,  sneak away to shoot a train station scene at midnight, they end up witnessing (and recording) a horrific train derailment. Of course, it turns out the train is an Air Force transport train, carrying... something. Almost immediately afterward, strange things start happening in town: people disappear, all the dogs run away and the power starts acting funny. When the Sheriff goes missing, it's up to the town's deputy -- and Joe's still-grieving, distant father -- to try and find out what's going on.

Hearkening back to those early Spielberg movies, Super 8 is Sci-Fi adventure that's part Goonies, part Close Encounters and part Cloverfield. It's also a welcome return to the kind of summer movie where character and story are more important than explosions and special effects. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of explosions and special effects, but they're there to enhance the plot, not to distract the audience from noticing the lack of one. The performances are terrific across the board, but this is Joe's story and young Joel Courtney is simply wonderful in his film debut, reminding us all of what it's like to be 13 and in love for the first time. And Ms Fanning (last seen in Sofia Coppola's Somewhere) is just radiant as Alice, displaying -- at age 13 -- skills most actresses spend decades developing. I'm betting she'll eclipse her older, more famous sister and go on to an amazing career. Kyle Chandler plays Joe's confused, frightened and still mourning father with just the right mix of fear and anger while Ron Eldard as Alice's father is right on target as a guilt-ridden, over-protective single dad. There are plenty of appearances from character actors you've seen a hundred times, including Glynn Turman; Noah Emmerich; Jessica Tuck and the voice of Homer Simpson, Dan Castelleneta

Abrams' script is funny, exciting and scary at all the right times (watch for a very amusing reference to the 'Father of all Zombies') and he never lets his directing get in the way, often deliberately mimicking Spielberg's style without making it seem like he's stealing at all. Chock full of exciting chases and escapes; creepy, half-seen monstrosities; nostalgic humor and a touch of young love, Super 8 is a welcome return and homage to the A-Movie version of the classic B-Movie. Don't let this one slip by without seeing it on a big screen. **** (Four Out of Four Stars).

By the way, do yourself a huge favor and stick around for a rather delightful surprise during the end credits.

More, anon.

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Gayest Flashmob You'll See This Week

Okay, enough acrimony for this week. The whole Tracy Morgan thing has exploded on the web and his career will soon be joining Michael Richards' and Mel Gibson's in the land of "Whatever Happened To...?" And good riddance.

It's time to have some fun at Caliban's Revenge.

If you've been a long-time reader (Hi Sean! Hi Stephens! Love you guys!), you know Uncle P loves me some good flashmob. My all-time fave is the Bondi Beach 2009 Pride flashmob featuring Australia's most famous drag performer, Joyce Maynge. I've been dying to put one together myself and still hope to do so. I just need the right reason and the right venue.

But Knotdance, a Pittsburgh based dance company put together a highly entertaining, though relatively brief, flashmob to celebrate Pittsburgh Pride. It features some amazingly acrobatic dancing and a living Pride Rainbow. Please enjoy (via):

Hopefully, I'll be home in time tomorrow night to post my review of Super 8.

More, anon.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Tracy Morgan Is a Scumbag, or: Why I'll Never Watch '30 Rock' Again

So, we're heading into the last two weeks of rehearsals for Die Mommie Die! and I've been getting home too late to post the last few nights. But yesterday I read something that really upset and angered me, and I had to share it with you.

I love Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin. I've adored Jane Krakowski ever since I saw her in the  2003 Broadway revival of Nine. But I've never found Tracy Morgan to be particularly funny or talented. Even his best work on SNL paled in comparison to some of the real break-outs. So I was puzzled when Fey brought him, of all the comedians she could have chosen, along for the ride with "30 Rock." Still, even though I was never able to watch the show with any true regularity, I usually enjoyed it when I did manage to catch it, despite Morgan's presence.

Then yesterday, a friend of a friend posted the Facebook note I am about to quote verbatim, and it just made my blood boil. Kevin Rogers went to see Morgan's stand-up show. This is how he tells it:

"So tonight was the night, Tracy Morgan in the hallowed halls of the Ryman Auditorium.  I always giggle a little bit when I think that the legends of country music must be rolling over in their graves knowing that there are raunchy comics on their stage.   I've been a big fan of his since his days at SNL.  The show was your typical hysterical dick, cum and pussy humor... I have to say it was hilarious and well worth at least 40% of the $86 we spent per ticket to see him.  I figured at some point the gay jokes would fly and I'm well prepared for a good ribbing of straight gay humor.  I have very thick skin when it comes to humor; I can dish and I can take.  What I can't take is when Mr. Morgan took it upon himself to mention about how he feels all this gay shit was crazy and that women are a gift from God and that "Born this Way" is bullshit, gay is a choice, and the reason he knows this is exactly because "God don't make no mistakes" (referring to God not making someone gay cause that would be a mistake).  He said that there is no way a woman could love and have sexual desire for another woman, that's just a woman pretending because she hates a fucking man.  He took time to visit the bullshit of this bullying stuff and informed us that the gays needed to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying. He mentioned that gay was something kids learn from the media and programming, and that bullied kids should just bust some ass and beat those other little fuckers that bully them, not whine about it.  He said if his son that was gay he better come home and talk to him like a man and not [he mimicked a gay, high pitched voice] or he would pull out a knife and stab that little N (one word I refuse to use) to death. He mentioned that Barack Obama needed to man up and quit being all down with this just because he has a wife and two daughters.  All of this being followed by thunderous cheer and "You go Tracys".  Tracy then said he didn't fucking care if he pissed off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass... they can take a fucking joke.

"The sad thing is that none of this rant was a joke.  His entire demeanor changed during that portion of the night.  He was truly filled with some hate towards us.  As far as I could see 10 to 15 people walked out.  I had to fight myself to stay seated, but I knew if I got up... he won.  He wanted to piss people off and get a rise.  I didn't let him win by chasing me off, he surely didn't get any applause or laughter from me after that point - mainly because he was no longer funny to me.  I wasn't holding back, it just wasn't funny.  I won't even get started on his rant about how women should be home cooking him a fucking meal and not becoming CEOs or him talking about fucking the moms of retards.  

"Once again, I can take a joke.  I find all sorts of things that are inappropriate funny.  Life is too serious to not laugh and enjoy some humor.  I now no longer enjoy Tracy Morgan's humor.  It's sad that I now have to take some inventory of my love of "30 Rock".

"I'm not angry... just very very very disappointed.
"BY THE WAY... FEEL FREE TO SHARE with all of your friends!"

Uncle P here again.

I have to give Kevin credit -- not that I would have been there in the first place, but had I been, I most definitely would have walked out. Morgan's disgusting, ill-informed and hate-filled tirade makes me so angry I could spit. And the fact that the very gay-friendly Fey and Baldwin* are willing to share airtime with that pig just makes me sad. So, goodbye "30 Rock." I enjoyed what I saw, but I cannot in good conscience ever watch you again. I hope none of you will, either. And, as Kevin suggests, please share this with everyone you know.

*Baldwin recently made a "Fight Back New York" pro-same-sex marriage video. Why, Alec, would you then associate and work with a creep like Morgan?

Here's a quick last look at one of the show's better moments:

Back to our usual nonsense, soon.

More, anon.

Update: Today, June 10th, Morgan issued an apology. I'm not surprised, but I think it's a case of  'Too Little; Too Late.' The damage has been done and I still will never watch any show he's on or see any movie he's in.


Monday, June 6, 2011

The Gayest Thing You'll See This Week?

Uncle P is not a sports fan by even the broadest definition of the term. I'll watch Olympic diving or gymnastics for about 10 minutes before becoming completely bored, no matter how hot the guys are. I understand the rules of baseball and American football. I know that soccer is 90 minutes of neither team scoring. And while I have played a game or two of Horse in my youth, I was really more interested in playing "Horsie" (if you catch my meaning -- nudge, nudge; wink, wink).

The Philadelphia region just hosted a major college rugby event, which was (from what I've seen on our local news) a huge hit. Rugby is sort of like American football, without the padding. Players often leave the field bruised and bloodied, which is apparently how they like it. And while I love Ben Cohen and his efforts to promote tolerance both here and in the UK, I'd honestly much rather watch him shower than play (TMI?). 

So when I came across the video embedded below on Towleroad, I knew I had to share. Apparently the Toronto Gay Rugby Club is looking to recruit new members and they've put together this video in an effort to do so. Ladies and Germs, I give you "The Gay Who Wasn't Gay Enough:"

Can I be the on-site medic? I'm very good at kissing boo-boos...

More, anon.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Super 8

I didn't get to see X-Men: First Class this weekend, though I am hoping to do so, soon. But I'm really much more excited to see J.J. Abrams' new film opening next weekend: Super 8.

Abrams created the amazing TV series "Lost," and directed the 2009 re-boot Star Trek, an entertaining (if uneven) origins movie that reset Gene Roddenberry's original time line.

Legendary filmmaker Steven Spielberg produced Super 8, which features a cast of mostly unknown (except for Elle Fanning) youngsters, along with hottie Kyle Chandler (King Kong; "Friday Night Lights"); Ron Eldard (Blackhawk Down) and Bruce Greenwood (Dinner for Schmucks; Star Trek). 

Super 8 is the story of a group of young filmmakers in 1979 who witness a train wreck while shooting a movie in their small town. On board the train is something being transported from the notorious Area 51, which proceeds to wreck havoc on said small town.

I've been very excited to see this movie since the first teasers hit cinemas last fall and I really hope the former and current Wunderkinds are able to deliver the kind of movie we've all come to expect from them.

So I am issuing a challenge to my movie-loving friends: Q, Dale, D & K - are ya'll up to seeing this one with me? I can't imagine anyone else (except my sister, who is just too far away) with whom I'd want to see this one. Are you all in?

More, anon.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The Most Divine Thing You'll See This Week

Those of you born after after the 1970's have probably only seen Divine as Edna Turnblad* in John Waters' most successful (and most mainstream) film, Hairspray. The photo on your left, however, is from what is probably Divine's most notorious role, Babs Johnson in Waters' 1972 cult hit Pink Flamingos, the story of a competition to find the "Filthiest Family in the World." Flamingos features Divine performing an act so depraved, I won't even mention it here (if you know the film or its reputation, you know what I'm talking about). Now, Uncle P may ask his actors to do some outrageous things -- and they usually trust me enough to do them -- but I can't see me asking anyone to do what Waters asked Divine to do. And if I did, they'd all say "You have finally gone too far!" (They'd probably say something else, but I try to keep it as clean as I can here at the Revenge). 

Born Harris Glenn Milstead in Baltimore, MD in 1945, Divine found his true calling when Milstead met outre filmmaker John Waters in the 1960's. Divine was often the star of Waters' films, appearing in movies with titles like Mondo Trasho; Multiple Maniacs; Female Trouble and Polyester,  playing characters with names like 'Francine Fishpaw' and 'Hilly Blue.' And while Divine would work with other directors like Paul Bartell (Eating Raoul), it was Hairspray that finally brought Divine to the attention of Hollywood. Sadly, Milstead passed away of an enlarged heart at the age of 42 in 1988, one night before he was to tape an appearance on Fox's trashy sitcom "Married... with Children."

Now, director Jeffrey Schwarz has a new documentary coming out next year, chronicling the life and career f the bigger than life drag performer, appropriately titled I Am Divine. The first teaser just hit the web and you know I had to share. Please enjoy (via):

Of course, my favorite Divine-inspired moment has to be this sketch from SCTV, featuring the late John Candy as Divine as Peter Pan:


Divine had a short, but legendary career as an actor and Disco singer and will always have a special place in the hearts of fans of weird cinema everywhere...

*A role Uncle P will be taking on in the stage musical version next spring... Oy!

More, anon.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Later This Summer...

Sorry about last night... I'm sure you all have been that tired. But I'm sort of glad I waited, because it gave me a chance to add something to what I wanted to talk about, anyway...
Two new trailers have surfaced for movies Uncle P is very excited to see. 

Scheduled for release on August 5th is Rise of the Planet of the Apes, a prequel to 1968's Planet of the Apes. It stars the busiest man in Hollywood, James Franco as a scientist who develops a drug intended to repair brain damage, which accidentally results in the creation of a super-intelligent chimp named Caesar. Borrowing from the sequels to the movie based on a novel by Pierre Boulle, Rise... re-imagines the origins of the Ape Revolution originally portrayed in 1973's Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Andy Serkis dusts off his ape skills (last displayed in Peter Jackson's 2005 remake of King Kong) as Caesar, while Harry Potter's Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy); original Hannibal Lecter, Brian Cox; Slumdog Millionaire's Freida Pinto; Tyler Labine and John Lithgow co-star in what will be either an incredibly awesome or exceptionally lame attempt to reboot a franchise that even former wunderkind Tim Burton couldn't revive.

August 26th sees the release of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, a big screen remake of an ABC Movie-of-the-Week that scared the hell out of Uncle P's sister when we were kids. The original movie starred Kim Darby (True Grit; Better Off Dead) and Jim Hutton ("Ellery Queen") as a couple who inherit her grandfather's old house and the nasty little critters who live behind the furnace grate in the basement. My sister says this movie is the reason she still sleeps with a night light. The remake, written and produced by Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) stars Katie Holmes (Tom Cruise's hypno-vict... er, wife) and Guy Pearce (Memento; Priscilla, Queen of the Desert) and Bailee Madison ("The Wizards of Waverly Place") as the little demons' object of desire. I've already made D promise to see it with me, though he says he's seen the trailer a dozen times and it still scares him.

I almost wish I could see it with D on one side of me and my sister on the other - or maybe not... I like my arms right where they belong...

More, anon.

Nothing New Tonight

See that cute baby sleeping there? I wish that was me. I am so tired, I could cry. So I am begging off for tonight. 

I hope you sleep as well as this cutie appears to be. I hope I will, too.

Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs bite! 
Ew! My mom said that to me a lot when I was a kid. 

I suppose I should leave you with something. How about this interview with Armistead Maupin and Jake Shears about the upcoming musical version of "Tales From the City?" (via): 

Now there's a show I'd go out of my way to see...

More, anon.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June = Pride

Happy Pride Month!

June is Gay Pride Month here in the U.S. (and many other places, as well) and if I wasn't busy trying to get a show up and running, I'd be attending every Pride event I could. Of course, the scheduling of the Annual JTMF Benefit show during Pride is no accident.

It's also no accident that Pride is celebrated in June. On June 28th, 1969, the Stonewall Riots took place in response to an unwarranted police raid on the Stonewall Inn in New York City's Greenwich Village.  The Stonewall was a notorious Mafia-owned bar in the Village where gay men were actually allowed to dance, albeit in black-painted rooms with dim lighting. It s often mistakenly noted that many of those at the Stonewall that night were gathered to mourn the loss of Gay Icon Judy Garland, who passed away on June 22nd of that year.

Regardless of why they were there, it is commonly accepted that the Stonewall raid and subsequent riot were the start of the Gay Rights movement in the U.S. And while great strides in LGBTQ rights have been made over the past 41 years, we still have a long way to go.

Recently, several high-profile sports figures have come out publicly and just today, the San Francisco Giants baseball team released their own "It Gets Better" video. Things are finally really starting to progress for our community, even while hate groups like the FRC and NOM continue to spew their anti-gay rhetoric wherever and whenever they can get people to listen. Of course, the latest generation of young Americans are onto these creeps, and I am happy to predict that they and their ideals will be seen as sad, lonely dinosaurs within the decade.

You can see the Giants' video below (via), followed by the JTMF "It Gets Better" clip:

I wish all of my readers (gay; straight; bisexual; transgendered; inter-sexed or otherwise queer) a happy Pride Month and urge you to not only participate in your local Pride events, but to continue to write your legislators and demand that they address equality issues. Together, we can eradicate intolerance in our lifetime.

More, anon.