Turn Off the Weird

All over the place in weird and odd entertainment news today. Let's start with news (via) that megalomaniacal director Julie Taymor is now suing the producers of the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. After months of accidents and horrible pre-opening reviews, Taymor was fired from the show and replaced by director Phillip McKinley (The Boy from Oz). The Guild of Directors and Choreographers has filed the suit on her behalf, claiming the show (which is raking in over $1M a week) has failed to compensate her for continued use of her work and is seeking $300,000.00.  Long-time readers know how I feel about this entire project. I have not seen the show in any of its incarnations (nor do I ever intend to do so), so I have no idea how much of Taymor's work is actually used in the production that is running now. I do know she co-wrote the original book, but a writer from Marvel was brought in to fix it after she 'left.' Still, it seems to me that $300k is a measly price to pay to be rid of her, once and for all. If I were her, knowing that I'll probably never work on Broadway again, I'd ask for more.

Speaking of megalomaniacal directors, creepy Brett Ratner (the man who single-handedly ruined the X-Men franchise), has resigned as producer of the 2012 Oscars after making a homophobic slur at a question and answer session following the premiere of his latest cinematic turd, Tower Heist. When asked about rehearsals for the film, Ratboy replied "Rehearsals are for f*gs." He then went on Howard Stern's satellite radio program where he claimed (among other things) that he was "very, very good" at performing a certain oral sex act with women. After some pressure from GLAAD, he issued a lame apology. Today, after many LGBT reporters, industry insiders and performers called for his firing, he resigned, saying in part (via):

"So many artists and craftspeople in our business are members of the LGBT community, and it pains me deeply that I may have hurt them. I should have known this all along, but at least I know it now: words do matter. Having love in your heart doesn’t count for much if what comes out of your mouth is ugly and bigoted. With this in mind, and to all those who understandably feel that apologies are not enough, please know that I will be taking real action over the coming weeks and months in an effort to do everything I can both professionally and personally to help stamp out the kind of thoughtless bigotry I’ve so foolishly perpetuated.

"As a first step, I called Tom Sherak this morning and resigned as a producer of the 84th Academy Awards telecast. Being asked to help put on the Oscar show was the proudest moment of my career. But as painful as this may be for me, it would be worse if my association with the show were to be a distraction from the Academy and the high ideals it represents."

I say: "Good riddance to bad rubbish." The man is a pig. He looks like he smells bad and I have never seen a single one of his films that I could, in good conscience, recommend. Really - does this look remotely funny to you?

In other lawsuits (also via), an Oregon man named Bilal Ahmed is suing Lionsgate over use of his image in the 2010 Russell Crowe (another Hollywood asshat) film The Next Three Days (I barely remember it existed, too). Ahmed claims that since his picture was used without his authorization in a group of photos depicting terrorists, his job prospects have been diminished and he has been forced to change his appearance (cutting his hair and beard) so that he won't be associated with actual terrorists. There's no indication as to where the filmmakers got his photo. Here's the trailer for the movie from overrated director Paul Haggis (Crash):

And finally, while not an Industry related story, this sounds like the plot of a horror movie. 45 year-old Russian historian Anatoly Moskvin has been arrested after he was discovered to have the remains of 29 young women in his Moscow apartment, dressed in brightly colored clothing and posed in a bizarre tableau. The Miami Herald reports that Moskvin had several books on doll making and was caught after a long investigation into a series of grave-robberies in the city. A linguist and expert on Celtic culture, Moskvin reportedly claimed that his fascination with the dead started when he was a boy and was forced to kiss the corpse of a young girl in a passing funeral procession. Eeeeeewwwwwww!

Well, I hope I haven't given you (or myself) bad dreams, with that last item. If I did, I apologize in advance.

More. anon.

Prospero

Turn Off the Lights, Already

Not a single thing I've read or heard about Julie Taymor's $65 million disaster, Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, has been positive, unless it was coming from Taymor herself. The few folks I know who've seen the show have described an unimaginable mess which makes no sense at all: especially in the second act which involves the mythological Arachne, a weaver who was turned into a spider as punishment for her hubris. In Taymor's "vision," Arachne needs Spider-Man to release her from her curse, employing a chorus line of spidergals who sing about shoes in doing so. Really? Curiously, composers Bono and The Edge remain silent about the show and it's oft-reported accidents and ridiculous (at best) second act. Audience reactions have been reported as everything from appallingly stunned to out-and-out horrified by its lack of coherence. Indeed, the comic's defining line and central theme ("With great power comes great responsibility") isn't even uttered by the original character, Peter Parker's Uncle Ben, but thrown away by Spidey himself in a battle with the Green Goblin. Disrespectful, at best; bad writing at it's worst.

As for Taymor's vision? Just take a look at the costumes pictured above. On the left is the Green Goblin, a villain depicted in the Marvel Comics like this. In Taymor's version, he looks more like an aging club kid who's done one too many hits of E for his own good. On the right we have Swiss Miss, a villain Taymor made up just for the show, so named for her resemblance to a Swiss Army Knife. Seriously? Swiss Miss? The name makes me think of cocoa, rather than a super-villain. I certainly don't think of a metallic dominatrix with goat horns on her head. And Spider-Man's creator Stan Lee is okay with this? I think dementia must be setting in.

Clearly this is a case of a director's ego gone wild. Sure, Taymor's production of The Lion King is a visual feast, based on material that already existed with a clearly defined story. And her film Titus was an inspired take on a Shakespearean classic (also previously existing material with a clearly defined plot). And her well-received biopic Frida was at least rooted in reality (but came about more because of Producer/Star Salma Hayek's passion for the subject matter). Then came Across the Universe, a psychedelic love story set during the Vietnam War era, using the Beatles' music in much the same way that the disastrous Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band did, weaving a story around songs that already existed (sensing a pattern here?). But the former costume designer (aha) has started to show signs that she's gotten in over her head, most recently with her ill-received production of The Tempest, a film that left critics cold and which audiences avoided like the plague, despite the presence of Dame Helen Mirren as a re-sexualized 'Prospera.' But this show, while based on previously existing material, sprung almost entirely out of Taymor's head, based on a dream she had about Arachne after 9/11. What? Yes -- look it up. Talk about hubris...

Now comes word that Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark has delayed it's opening yet a fifth time, until March 15th, so additional corrections van be made to the second act (perhaps to make it make sense?). I'm thinking Taymor and company should heed the warnings of another Shakespearean play and "Beware the Ides of March." After all the accidents (4 major injuries); protests from other members of AEA and the truly terrible word-of-mouth from those who've already seen the show, the show's producers should just cut their losses and let this terrible-from-the-start idea die. Of course, $65 million dollars is quite a loss to claim on a 1040. 

How bad can be it be? Take a look at this commercial for the show and then tell me:

Honestly, as a performer and director who got his start in Musical Theatre, I hope I'm wrong. But I doubt that I am. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark is destined to go down as one of the biggest Broadway disasters since Carrie: The Musical.

More, anon.....

Prospero