Monday, August 2, 2010

The Summer of Suck Continues

I've seen exactly 4 "good" movies this summer: KickAss; Toy Story 3; Despicable Me (both while on vacation, which is why they weren't reviewed) and Inception. I've seen several more that weren't even worth reviewing and one or two that I've panned, because they should have been better than they were.

As we enter the remaining month and a half of the Summer of Movies That Sucked, I don't hold much hope for actually seeing anything good in wide release. Let's see what's left for us in this long, very hot (at least here in the East) summer.

This Friday sees the release of 3 major films. First up: Middle Men, starring Luke Wilson, James Caan and Giovanni Ribisi. Middle Men tells the story of the guys who found a way to make millions off of internet porn:

I have yet to see a trailer for this movie anywhere else but online. I might spend $4.99 to watch it OnDemand, but will not be parting with $10.50 to see it in a theater,

Then there's Step Up 3D (I'm not even going to bother posting a trailer for this insipid movie) and The Other Guys, starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg as two inept cops trying to make their mark. Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson co-star:

Not high on my list.

August 13 sees the Julia Roberts romance Eat Pray Love (meh) as well as Sylvester Stallone's "old guys" actioner The Expendables, which I have have promised to see with D. He's a Stallone freak, but I'm going because my obsession also stars:

But the August movie I most want to see is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Micheal Cera (Juno) stars in this comic book adaptation about a young man who must defeat his true love's "seven evil exes" before she will date him:

Directed by Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead; Hot Fuzz), Scott Pilgrim will either be absolutely brilliant or a total piece of crap. Given Pegg's track record, I'm expecting the former.

On August 18th, Vampires Suck will hit the cineplexes, though if it's anything like its creators ' other films, I imagine Vampire Suck will suck in the worst way imaginable:

I truly hope someone would hit these "filmmakers" with a shovel and put them down.

That Friday sees Nanny McPhee Returns (I've only seen portions of the first one, so I can't give an accurate assessment of the impending sequel); The Switch (starring the Worst Actress in America and Jason Bateman); the African-American comedy Lottery Ticket and French director Alexandre Aja's (High Tension; The Hills Have Eyes; Mirrors) latest, Piranha 3D, a movie I somehow feel compelled to see:

Starring Christopher Lloyd; Elizabeth Shue; Jaws' Richard Dreyfuss; hotties Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell, Piranha 3D may well be the one 3D movie I might actually enjoy this summer.

The last weekend of the month features only one film I'm actually interested in seeing; The Last Exorcism. Regular readers know that I have never found William Friedkin's brilliant film The Exorcist to be scary in the least (mostly because I don't believe in that hogwash), but I hope this movie will be interesting, if nothing else... Hopefully, special effects have finally caught up with the subject matter:

I'll save the September films for another post, though based on what I've seen so far, this summer is a total bust.

What movies are you looking forward to seeing in what's left of this summer? You know I love to hear from you. Leave me a comment.

More, anon.

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