Filipino Superheroes and Other Sublime Nonsense

This image is for my dear Stephen R. in Chicago, in thanks for the last video embedded in this post.

Now, no one has ever denied that Batman and Robin have always seemed a bit... well... (looking around to see if anyone is watching me type)... gay.

I think I must have stumbled across the first video below via the Sci-Fi nerds over at i09. They posted a scene which is featured in the trailer I am posting. Now I know I've blogged about Turkish rip-offs of Hollywood movies before, but Alyas Batman en Robin is just the tip of the iceberg when in comes to Filipino superhero movies.

First off, like most Bollywood films, it is a musical. Second, it is in a strange mixture of Tagalog and English. It's like watching European porn with only the important words dubbed in English. Third, it is obviously modeled on the campy 60's TV series starring Adam West and Burt Ward (yikes), even down to the ridiculous onomatopoetic SFX title cards (Biff! Pow! Sock!). Still, I can't see Batman taking a reporter inside the (Batgarage?) while offering her 'Batmilk.' Eeewwww! And check out that bat-shiat crazy tranny Joker! Meanwhile, Penguin's just some fat, almost white guy with a tiny Pride umbrella.

So, while getting that embed code from YouTube, I stumbled across these next two trailers for two even more outrageous Filipino superhero movies.

This first one is just indescribably bizarre. ZsaZsa Zaturnnah concerns a hairdresser who attains superpowers after she eats a meteorite! In fact, she swallows the whole thing in two or three gulps, like a snake swallowing a guinea pig. I mean, honestly. Isn't that exactly what you would do if a fluorescent pink meteorite crashed into your beauty parlor? I prefer to remember the lesson imparted by Stephen King in Creepshow when it comes to handling meteorites.

And almost finally, the silliest trailer from our friends in the East yet: Super Noypi, a film I can only hope is the best X-Men ripoff ever made.

My favorite part of that clip has to be the actress named "Aubrey Miles." Seriously? Aubrey? Aubry Miles? You do know that you're Filipi... Well, of course I realize that... but... no, seriously? Aubrey Miles? Okay. Whatever you say... snicker, snicker, snicker...

As you can tell, nonsense has worked its magic on Uncle Prospero once again. And all thanks to this gem posted by the above-mentioned Stephen R on his hilarious blog Are You There Blog? It's Me, Stephen. I give you the modern Ernie Kovaks: Craig Fergusen and Company - "White Lines."

To quote a semi-insane candy-maker, "A little nonsense now and then/Is cherised by the wisest men."

More, anon, bitches.

Prospero