Friday, May 6, 2011

Do Over: Hot Super Edition.

Let's try this again, shall we? This post's original title was "Supers Hot" but after the great Firefox Fail of 2011, I tweaked it.

This weekend sees the first of three in Marvel's Avengers saga, Thor. Relative newcomer Chris Hemsworth stars as one of Stan Lee's odder Supers, in that he is neither human nor alien, but an actual Norse god trapped on Earth. My only associations to the character are the 70's Saturday cartoon version and an astonishingly young and gorgeous Vincent D'Onofrio in Adventures in Baby Sitting, which leaves me actually looking forward to seeing what a director like Kenneth Brannaugh does with material that is probably among the more absurd Super Heroes in the Marvel universe.

Marvel also has another specimen of male perfection in Captain America: The First Avenger. Starring the stunnningness that is Chris Evans (above) as Steve Rogers/Captain America, a 90 lb weakling who forgoes Charles Atlas and volunteers for a secret military experiment to create a Super Soldier Ironically, there's an iconic cover featuring Cap punching Hitler in the face. And if I remember, weren't Addie and Hermie actually trying to create a race of Ubermensch ? Anyway, Captain America has been since WWII and has almost as long a history as Superman. Like many comic book Supers, Steve Rogers is no longer the Captain in the current version of the comic, having been replaced at least once, but I couldn't tell you by whom. Hit-or-Miss director Joe Johnston has his work cut out for him in tying in a character from a different era into the set-in-the present Avengers. Of course, I've had my eye on Evans ever since his debut in Larry Cohen's ridiculous but thoroughly entertaining Cellular, which also starred My Obsession. Evans just gets better and better... and his acting has improved, as well... (rimshot). Watch this while I go cool off:

And Marvel competitor, DC isn't sitting out the summer. The also stunning Ryan Reynolds is Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern. After an alien crash lands on Earth, Jordan finds himself in possession of a mysterious ring and lamp, which the dying ET in the UFO says chose him. Hal has been designated arth's Green Lantern, one of thousands throughout the Universe. The mostly green-screen and CGI movie also stars Peter Sarsgaard; Mark Strong; Geoffrey Rush and Tim Robbins. 

Reynolds may not be the best actor in the world, but he's not terrible. And I know lots of folks who could spend hours just looking at him.... Too bad the costume is CGI, too. Then again, Ryan in real tights might just be too much to handle in a mature and respectful manner. The latest trailer makes Green Lantern look pretty a-frickin-mazing:

And while not exactly a comic book hero, pulp writer Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian has been resurrected in the form of Pacific Islander Jason Mamoa, who could be rocketed to stardom (like Conan's first portrayer who went on to something... um...I want to say politcal? Conversely, he could be starring in his one and only major studio film. 

Mamoa was on "Baywatch," I guess. He had bad dreds, from all the pictures I could find. And he wasn't nearly as big. There's something about the shape of his eyebrows that bothers me, but they may just be enhanced for "barbaric" effect. And of course, it's not like they would be a deal-breaker, if you know what I mean. Mamoa's amazing body certainly looks more natural than the former Governor's did in the same role. Of course, 10 minutes with Mamoa's trainer would in all likelihood literally kill Uncle P. And then where would all of you be left? Sigh...

I hope you watched all those in Full Screen. And I hope you all realized that this Summer is the kind of summer gay fanboys dream about...

More, anon.

1 comment:

Stephen said...

I love you, but honest... sometimes you are such a nerd!