Why "Selma" Won't Win

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"Racism is dead in America." ~ Anne Coulter.

By now you should know how I feel about Awards shows in general. Admittedly, I'll watch the Oscars this year, just to see NPH (loved his lunacy on "American Horror Story" this season). Like most Americans, I have seen very few of the nominated movies. I've seen Boyhood (which I didn't care for enough to even bother reviewing) and The Grand Budapest Hotel (which I did review and honestly wanted to like more than I did). With the exception of Birdman, I honestly have no interested in seeing the other nominated films. Not that you shouldn't see them or that they shouldn't be seen. And while I guess if was a professional critic, I would have seen them all, but probably grumbled about seeing more than one. Oddly, the rest of the nominees are all biopics... American Sniper; The Imitation Game; The Theory of Everything; Whiplash and Selma are all real-life stories. Fictionalized, of course, for dramatic interest. 

But it is Selma in particular, which seems to have generated the most controversy. First, it was reported that the movie was historically inaccurate and portrays Lyndon Johnson as opposed Dr. King's march in Alabama and the Voting Rights Act. And then the Oscar nominations came out. And while Selma is nominated for Best Picture, not one of its cast were nominated. In fact, not a single person of color was nominated in any performance category. Not a single Black, Latino, Asian or multiracial person on the list! No Inuit; Pacific Islanders; Native Americans; Maori or Aboriginals, either. That's just... I mean, how does a film get nominated for Best Picture, without a single nomination for any actor that's in it or the director who made it? One might also ask how The Color Purple didn't win a single one of its 11 nominations. Or why Brokeback Mountain lost to Crash. Oh, wait, wasn't Crash about racism? Sure, but in a really awful, hit-you-over-the-head way that went way out it's way to prove a point. Plus, it didn't have any icky man-on-man kissing. 

Hollywood, that supposed bastion of liberal hedonism, is racist, sexist and homophobic. Now, I know I'm not saying anything new here. But the Oakland Tribune headline up on the right just put it so succinctly and hilariously, that I had to comment, especially when the country is about to enjoy a three-day weekend in celebration of Dr. King's birthday. It's like the Academy voters are saying "We like the idea of civil rights; we just don't like the people who are asking for them."

Selma doesn't have a chance of winning Best Picture on February 22nd. Because the more things seem to change, the more they stay the same. 

For what it's worth, here are the trailers for this year's Best Picture nominees:

















So, I guess... Yay, White People!? Ugh! Oh, and by the way... F*ck You, Anne Coulter!

Uncle P used to participate in a charitable event every MLK weekend as my Day of Service, but they and I parted ways a while ago and I focused my volunteering on the JTMF. Of course, JTMF is all but dead (only our Facebook page remains), though a last gasp may be at hand with a project I'll be talking about (and directing again!) soon.

If you are lucky enough to be off, enjoy your holiday. Don't feel obligated to do a Day of Service because it's MLK Day. You should always fee obligated to do service whenever you can. But if you need a special day for it, so be it. 

More anon,
Prospero

Review: "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron & Liam Neeson

Director Seth MacFarlane's sophomore feature (following the hilarious and heartfelt Ted) is the deliberately anachronistic Comedy Western, A Million Ways to Die in the West. To be perfectly honest, while it's not as good as Ted (it's missing much of that movie's good-naturedness) it does have much more than a few very, VERY funny moments and visuals. Peppered with the kind of trademark non-sequiturs and throwaway jokes MacFarlane uses on his animated series "Family Guy," A Million Ways... never wastes any opportunity to gross us out, make us squeal in discomfort or belly-laugh at something outrageous. 

MacFarlane is Albert, a dirt poor, bad sheep farmer (his sheep have a tendency to wander any and everywhere) whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) dumps him after he talks his way out of a gun fight with a neighbor by offering a cash settlement. His best friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) is in love with foul-mouthed prostitute Ruth (Sarah Silverman) but they can offer no consolation when Louise takes up with wealthy owner of the Moustachery,  Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Meanwhile, outlaw Clinch (Liam Neeson) sends his wife Anna (Charlize Theron) with one of his boys to pose as brother and sister in the Arizona town where Albert lives, while he hides out after murdering a prospector. A ridiculous barfight (started by Anna's 'brother') eventually leads to friendship and romance between Albert and Anna. 

There isn't much new, plot-wise in A Million Ways... We all know how it's going to end as soon as Anna and Albert meet. And while the modern dialogue (complete with 21st Century teen slang) is a bit jarring at first and the cartoon violence always ends in horrific deaths and/or mutilations, they somehow manage to work together, despite every indication that they shouldn't. There are plenty of racist jokes (the shooting gallery at the county fair is called "Shoot the Runaway Slave" and a scene involving Cochise is loaded with 'Indian' gibberish)  and nonsense (ingredients in a 'health tonic' include mercury and red flannel, while the sight of a dollar bill has the townsfolk 'oohing' in reverence) and a ton of very funny, quick and mostly uncredited cameos (think Jane Weidlin in Clue), the funniest of which involves a beloved character actor recreating his most iconic movie role for yet another anachronistic gag. My three companions (M, Dear D and Stephanie) all laughed a lot (often missing bits of dialog because of it), though D was a bit put off by Silverman's very explicit descriptions of her work day. The performances are all fine and MacFarlane uses his adorableness to it's fullest extent. D also thought Theron wasn't interested or interesting for the first half of her performance, but I think that was a deliberate choice. Oh - and there's a big musical number about... mustaches! And an obviously Salvador Dali-inspired hallucination scene that is pure genius!

Interestingly, while I was undoubtedly the oldest among my companions, we were collectively among the youngest members of the matinee audience. And surprisingly, the older folks seemed to enjoy it almost as much as we did. I expected at least two or three couples to walk out, but none of them did so, though I heard an older man behind us make two funny remarks. The first was "This is the craziest movie I ever saw!" and the second was "Whose idea was it to see this, again?" I'm guessing he's never seen The Forbidden Zone. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that all of the nonsense is made so much funnier by Joel McNeely's dead-on, sweeping Western score.

If you are a fan of MacFarlane's other works (I definitely am), you will most certainly enjoy A Million Ways to Die in the West. If outrageous, gross-out, nonsense comedy isn't your thing, you probably won't. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R for "strong crude and sexual content, language throughout, some violence and drug material." The Red-Band trailer below is definitely NSFW and features several clips that do not actually appear in the movie (I HATE that!).

More, anon. 

Prospero

The Gayest Videos You'll See This WeeK

Mr. Gay World 2013, Chris Olwage of New Zealand

Generally, I hate beauty pageants. That's right - I despise something a lot of gay men adore. Miss America; Miss USA; Miss World; Miss Universe... all of them are rubbish, as far as I'm concerned. They not only bore me to death, but promote sexist stereotypes and reduce their contestants to far less than the sum of their parts. 

I particularly hate children's pageants. You know that pedophiles are regularly masturbating to episodes of 'Toddlers in Tiaras," right? Ugh! The sexualization of children in such events sickens me to no end. Images of the late Jon Benet Ramsey literally turn my stomach. And don't even get me started on Honey Boo-Boo and 'Dance Moms.' I'll cut a bitch! Beauty pageants exemplify everything that's wrong with modern societal values. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for physical beauty. But there's got to be more. As the saying goes, "Beauty is only skin deep." And really... if you're pretty, we better be able to have an intelligent conversation afterwards.

This past weekend saw the 'Mr. Gay World Pageant,' in which gay men from around the globe competed for the 'coveted' title. Needless to say, there wasn't a Bear among the contestants. Every one of them was young, trim and fit. It may has well have been the 'Mr. Ambercrombie and Fitch World Pageant.' 

This year's winner, a Kiwi by the name of Chris Olwage (who's 'five-head' is even worse than Josh Duhamel's) won. His talent? Dancing en pointe, something exceedingly rare among male dancers. That's not to say I have anything against men dancing en pointe. Far from it (though I can't help but compare my own feet - ruined by years of dancing in musical theatre - to the feet of ballerinas I met while working for the NYC Ballet... ick!). And while Olwage has an amazing body, give me a fuzzy, beefy Bear over a skinny dancer any day. Below (via) is Olwage's talent entry in the contest:

And speaking of fuzzy, beefy Bears, Mumford and Sons (who had a very LGBT friendly hit not too long ago) are back with a new video for their latest single, "Hopeless Wanderer," which features former SNL hotties Jason Sudekis and Will Forte along with Jason Bateman and Ed Helms. Sudeikis and Forte (wearing a rather unflattering yak hair beard) appear to swap some spit (something they've done many times in skits on SNL), though the catchy new song has only the vaguest connections to the LGBT community. Watch it below (also via):

Personally, I'm waiting for Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris and Cheyenne Jackson to collaborate on the ultimate gay song/video, written by Elton John and Matt Zarley. If you see it before I do, let me know ASAP.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week (Possibly NSFW Edition)

NPH Goes Bollywood Sexy!

As you may have noticed, my taste; interests and (hopefully) my life might be described as 'eclectic.' When it comes to movies, I may have some favorite genres, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy others. The first time I actually appreciated a Bollywood musical number was in the delightful and underrated romantic comedy The Guru. Sure, it was Americanized, but I was intrigued by the dance style and wanted more. Luckily, Baz Luhrman gave us an even more elaborate number in the finale to Moulin Rouge and I was hooked. I started seeking them out, learning quickly the difference between a good Bollywood musical and a bad one (production values make all the difference). The plots of most of these films are for the most part, preposterous star-crossed lovers stories or tales of syndicated crime (sometimes both in the same movie). But they all feature those fascinating andcomplex dance numbers. Of course, many of you were with me when I first learned about a Bollywood superstar who is quickly growing into an official "Obsession" (though he'll never replace THE Obsession). I'm referring to the very talented, very hot Hrithic Roshan (sigh...).

His eyes! His face! His body! His dancing! Honestly, I have no qualms about saying Roshan's dance skills put Michael Jackson's to shame. Don't get me wrong, Jackson was a damn good dancer. Roshan is undoubtedly better. Of course, Roshan's 'complete package' and a hotness level of 17 on scale of 1 to 10, eclipses everything else anyway. (sigh...). He truly is stunningly beautiful, isn't he? (sigh..). No, really. I'm fine. (sigh...).

Of course, the one thing Bollywood musicals very rarely celebrate, is gay love. Step right up, Prince Harris. Oh - Let me 'splain, Lucy. If Ellen is our High Queen Lesbian and Elton our High Queen Queen, then America's gay boy next door Neil Patrick Harris is decidedly our naughty, irascible and adorable Clown Prince Harry, providing an exceptionally positive role model for today's queer youth, whether he acknowledges it or not. Neil has a YouTube channel called "Neil's Puppet Dreams," which is a series of shorts in which Neil 'dreams in puppet.' Often silly, sometimes racy and always  hilarious, I've been a fan from the start. In the 'Season Finale,' Harris and company go after about 104 topics (alight, maybe 6 or 7...) in their best, most elaborate and smartest episode yet:

The man makes me smile every time I see him, no matter what he's doing and seeing him in a splashy, exceptionally clever, pointed and funny Bollywood parody is a treat. Seriously, who doesn't love Neil Patrick Harris? I know of no one.

And since we're in Bollywood, it's only a slightly longer flight to Oz. In what be the stretchiest segue ever, Australia is the Eastern Hemisphere's equivalent to the U.S. in it's scared-to-commit but happy-to-accept-pink-dollars attitudes. The popular majority supports Marriage Equality, but the governing conservatives do not. Sound familiar? The difference is, Australia has never been afraid to openly, joyously and willingly court gay tourism. Via AccidentalBear.com (site may be NSFW), comes this video promoting a party called "John Homosocial (Australia Day Weekend)." While there is no actual nudity, plenty of very naughty things are rather obviously implied and it may well be NSFW:

JOHN HOMOSOCIAL (AUSTRALIA DAY WEEKEND) from Nik Dimopoulos on Vimeo.

And since it seems I unknowingly set up a pattern here (and please let me know if you recognize it, too -- you know, to prove to me I'm not crazy) let's end with a very funny, very NSFW but ultimately endearing tribute to... um... Mom? Ew. But Yay! I'm confused. (also via)

Gurl, I feel your... well, I get it. Literally can't live with 'em and can't live without 'em, eh?  I was also going to post a link to the trailer of a documentary currently playing at Sundance, but decided I was tired of talking about a person involved with it and changed my mind. You probably know who I'm talking about.

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest Things You'll See This Week (Oprah Winfrey Edition)

Via

Via Buzzfeed, comes an amusing tweet from Barney Effing Stinson himself, Neil Patrick Harris which read in part:

"...Oprah came over to our house today. I made her pizza."

Honestly, who doesn't love NPH and David Burtka? Handsome, talented and successful, the power couple almost inspired yet another label (it may still happen) but I had a few things to talk about tonight, so it all falls under "The Gayest Thing(s)..."

But back to Harris and Burtka (screw Oprah*). Are there possibly two more appropriate role models for LGBT youth? They have great careers, lots of money and two very photogenic twins. They're the Gay American Dream. And yes, I know not every gay person wants that, just as not every straight person wants it. All I ask is to truly have the right to "...life, liberty and pursuit of happiness." I know I read that somewhere... Anyway, I dare you to come up with a single item that speaks ill of either of them. And neither seems to take what they have for granted. They are both loved by fans, colleagues and friends. There is no dish or dirt; not a single negative thing to be found. How refreshing! Personally, I can't wait for Harris to finally host the Oscars.

Mistie Atkinson, 32 (really?)

This next item (via) isn't very gay at all, but it goes a long way to prove that straight people are often far stranger than anyone I've ever met in the LGBT community (and I've met and known some doozies). Mistie Atkinson (well, there's your problem), 32, of Nice in northern California, was arrested for stalking her estranged 16 year-old son on Facebook and then seducing him! The police report states that they both knew they were biologically related, but it doesn't say if they knew there were mother and son. O.M.G.. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! Excuse me... I have to... BRB...

That's better. One always feels better after one has offered a sacrifice to the porcelain god. Honestly though, I'm kind of glad this involved straight people. Look at David and Neil and then look at Mistie. Who looks happier and more well-adjusted to you? I'm just saying. Mistie has been charged with a variety of sexual assault an incest crimes.

And since this post is just all over the place, anyway, here are two music videos; one old and one new.

New, first:. Here is the latest and very gay video from KINGSHIP, 'Wandering Sailor" (may be NSFW, depending on where you work):

Next is something I've been holding on to for quite a while (and honestly, almost forgot about). It's been a while since I first came across this, so I don't remember if the song is any good or not (almost too tired to care, honestly) and I don't really care. (Update: It's a really awful death-metal thing where the lead "singer'' screams indecipherably with his lips on the microphone). I don't even care about any of the band members' sexuality. I just love that every time some one Googles this song, they get directed to me, first:

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!! My plan for World Domination is working!

More, anon.

Prospero

P.S. - Can you tell I'm in a mood? And can I get some sharks with friggin' lasers on their heads? Is that too much to ask?

*Just kidding, Ms Winfrey. Uh, I mean... Your Highness, uh...Your Majesty, uh...Great and Powerful (and hopefully non-litigious) Supreme Cheerleader for the World. I really do love you, though I hate to admit it publicly.

P