Review: "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron & Liam Neeson

Director Seth MacFarlane's sophomore feature (following the hilarious and heartfelt Ted) is the deliberately anachronistic Comedy Western, A Million Ways to Die in the West. To be perfectly honest, while it's not as good as Ted (it's missing much of that movie's good-naturedness) it does have much more than a few very, VERY funny moments and visuals. Peppered with the kind of trademark non-sequiturs and throwaway jokes MacFarlane uses on his animated series "Family Guy," A Million Ways... never wastes any opportunity to gross us out, make us squeal in discomfort or belly-laugh at something outrageous. 

MacFarlane is Albert, a dirt poor, bad sheep farmer (his sheep have a tendency to wander any and everywhere) whose girlfriend Louise (Amanda Seyfried) dumps him after he talks his way out of a gun fight with a neighbor by offering a cash settlement. His best friend Edward (Giovanni Ribisi) is in love with foul-mouthed prostitute Ruth (Sarah Silverman) but they can offer no consolation when Louise takes up with wealthy owner of the Moustachery,  Foy (Neil Patrick Harris). Meanwhile, outlaw Clinch (Liam Neeson) sends his wife Anna (Charlize Theron) with one of his boys to pose as brother and sister in the Arizona town where Albert lives, while he hides out after murdering a prospector. A ridiculous barfight (started by Anna's 'brother') eventually leads to friendship and romance between Albert and Anna. 

There isn't much new, plot-wise in A Million Ways... We all know how it's going to end as soon as Anna and Albert meet. And while the modern dialogue (complete with 21st Century teen slang) is a bit jarring at first and the cartoon violence always ends in horrific deaths and/or mutilations, they somehow manage to work together, despite every indication that they shouldn't. There are plenty of racist jokes (the shooting gallery at the county fair is called "Shoot the Runaway Slave" and a scene involving Cochise is loaded with 'Indian' gibberish)  and nonsense (ingredients in a 'health tonic' include mercury and red flannel, while the sight of a dollar bill has the townsfolk 'oohing' in reverence) and a ton of very funny, quick and mostly uncredited cameos (think Jane Weidlin in Clue), the funniest of which involves a beloved character actor recreating his most iconic movie role for yet another anachronistic gag. My three companions (M, Dear D and Stephanie) all laughed a lot (often missing bits of dialog because of it), though D was a bit put off by Silverman's very explicit descriptions of her work day. The performances are all fine and MacFarlane uses his adorableness to it's fullest extent. D also thought Theron wasn't interested or interesting for the first half of her performance, but I think that was a deliberate choice. Oh - and there's a big musical number about... mustaches! And an obviously Salvador Dali-inspired hallucination scene that is pure genius!

Interestingly, while I was undoubtedly the oldest among my companions, we were collectively among the youngest members of the matinee audience. And surprisingly, the older folks seemed to enjoy it almost as much as we did. I expected at least two or three couples to walk out, but none of them did so, though I heard an older man behind us make two funny remarks. The first was "This is the craziest movie I ever saw!" and the second was "Whose idea was it to see this, again?" I'm guessing he's never seen The Forbidden Zone. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that all of the nonsense is made so much funnier by Joel McNeely's dead-on, sweeping Western score.

If you are a fan of MacFarlane's other works (I definitely am), you will most certainly enjoy A Million Ways to Die in the West. If outrageous, gross-out, nonsense comedy isn't your thing, you probably won't. *** (Three Out of Four Stars). Rated 'R for "strong crude and sexual content, language throughout, some violence and drug material." The Red-Band trailer below is definitely NSFW and features several clips that do not actually appear in the movie (I HATE that!).

More, anon. 

Prospero

I Am Not Liam Neeson

Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn

I don't remember exactly how the conversation got started today, but we were talking about brushes with celebrity and a friend asked me if I'd ever had any weird or funny celebrity encounters. I've had several, but the one I am about to share has stuck with me, if only to remind me how not famous I am.

I do spend a bit of time in New York and have lived in L.A. and have seen, passed and even met more than a few famous folks. Paul Winfield; Danny Aiello; Jimmy Fallon; Katie Couric; James Earl Jones; Chita Rivera and Treat Williams are some of the famous people I've encountered either in New York or L.A. But in the early aughts, I was working for the NYC Ballet at Lincoln Center, playing Louis XIV as part of their "Family Fanfare" educational program. I would take a very early morning train in, do two shows and then spend the afternoon either sleeping on the train home; shopping; wandering around the city or meeting friends for drinks in Chelsea, Soho or the Village.

One day, after the second show, I had time to kill before meeting a friend downtown for a drink, so I decided to pay a visit to the cafe at the Lincoln Center Barnes and Noble. I got a coffee and a pastry, studied lines for another show I was doing and then got up to head out to catch the 1-9 train downtown. The cafe at the Lincoln Center B&N is on the third floor, as are the Children's Books. I was heading for the Down escalator when none other than Liam Neeson came off the Up escalator, apparently desperate for a children's book of some kind. Our paths intersected and we did the right/left/right dance you do when you're trying to avoid a head-on collision with someone in your path. I think I said something completely lame like "Excuse me, Mr. Neeson" and got out of his way as he headed into the stacks in search of "Harold and the Purple Crayon" (I'm assuming).

Almost immediately after this, two young women came off the Up escalator. One of them approached me and said "Can I have your autograph?" I was stunned for a moment, until her companion yanked her arm and said "Not him, dummy! He's nobody!" The second girl then led her companion in the direction of Neeson, who seemed to me to be not in any mood to talk to fans. Of course, my first thought was "Well, neither are you, bitch!" Chagrined, amused and a bit confused, I made my way downstairs, marveling at the fact that I'd 'danced' with Oskar Schindler; Ethan Fromme; Rob Roy; Jean Val Jean and Qui-Gon Jinn, all at the same time.

If you're in New York and want to have celebrity encounter, I recommend spending time in Lincoln Center. ABC Studios are across the way and there are many shops where celebs spend their money.

More, anon.
Prospero