Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bollywood, Lust and Language Barriers

The few Bollywood musicals I've seen are really dreadful, featuring either silly spy tales; nostalgic mythologies or insipid love stories that make Mama Mia! look like a work of genius.

Still, I wonder why I never heard of Bollywood superstar Hrthiik Roshan. That's him in all his hot glory on the left. Gorgeous and talented (the man dances better than Michael Jackson at his best), Roshan makes his US debut this weekend in Kites, a tri-lingual actioner about a man who falls in love with his fiancee's brother's fiancee. Of course, Roshan could play a man who falls in love with his brother's fiancee's father's goat, and it wouldn't matter, as long as he spent more than 50% of the movie more than 50% unclothed.

Apparently, much of the humor in Kites revolves around the problems of communicating in Hindi, Spanish and English. Trust me, I'd have no problem expressing my thoughts to Roshan. Nathaniel Rogers' review on Towleroad sums it up quite nicely:

"Though Roshan only gets one dance number (Shame. He sure can move) his impossible body gets such loving camera attention and he poses so still and carefully for it that you might feel you're watching a camp classic -- the first based on an old catalog! -- International Male: The Movie."

I've always been a fan of the "tall, dark and handsome" type, but Roshan takes that cliche and amps it up by about 1000% (what is it with me and percentages tonight?). The 36 year-old hottie has made only 25 films in his nearly 30-year career, though I suspect that Kites will not only garner him a legion of American fans (both male and female) who will gladly plunk down $10 for a few hours of his exceptional hotness, but will be just the start of an international film career. I know I will be awaiting his American-made film debut with baited breath.

Now I know you all are thinking "Uncle P, what's up with you? You don't usually go on about hot men." To that I have to say, "Have you taken a good look at him? Da-yum!" It's like Vishnu blessed us with an Indian combination of Stallone; Statham; Pitt; Baldwin and Kelly. I know I don't usually gush like this, but having seen him, can you honestly blame me?

Here's a clip of Roshan's best moves:

And here is the trailer for Kites:

To borrow a phrase from my dear Stephen Rader, Roshan is officially my new "Imaginary Boyfriend." And don't you dare try to tell me otherwise.

More, anon.

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