Sunday, November 29, 2009

No Sh*t, Sherlock...

This is a shot of the always amazing Robert Downey, Jr. in his new movie Sherlock Holmes. Directed by the man formerly known as Mr. Madonna, the very yummy Guy Ritchie. Guy Ritchie's previous films include Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch and RocknRolla (and the less said about Swept Away, the better). I've seen these films because they often star some of the hottest guys, including you-know-who. They are outrageous and amusing and very entertaining; Brad Pitt is particularly hot and hilarious in Snatch.

Sherlock Holmes is a heroin- addicted Victorian-Era detective with a razor sharp mind and exceptional powers of observation. Why, of course it's the perfect vehicle for a shoot-'em-up guy like Guy (every inferred ounce of sarcasm intended to its fullest).

It does have three things going for it: Downey, Jude Law and the lovely Rachel McAdams. And much has been made about the "bromantic" relationship between Holmes and Watson (Law). Still, the trailers I've seen are absolutely ludicrous. Here's a short teaser:

And here's the latest, longer version:

How does a gangly, pale heroin addict transform into a short, muscular, trouble-loving brawler while still remaining the most brilliant mind in all of England? You hear that noise? That's Conan-Doyle spinning in his grave fast enough to be heard all over the world.

My favorite Middle School teacher, Jack Fogarty, introduced me to the works of Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle, Agatha Christie and Ray Bradbury. He taught me how to analyze books (and later, films and plays) for narrative structure, dramatic conflict, foreshadowing and so on. He also cast me as Holmes in the 8th grade play, the first real starring role yours truly ever had. So, as you can imagine, I hold the source material in a certain reverence.

I hope I'm wrong. Maybe it's a terrific and fun and funny movie. At least they've kept Inspector Lestrade and Holmes' long-suffering housekeeper, Mrs. Hudson. But I fear I'm not. I'm actually less-excited to see it than I am Avatar... sigh. I don't think we're in for an amazing holiday movie season, folks.

At least we have this to look forward to (even if the release date at the end is wrong):

More, anon.

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